Mixer Mania #3 – It Does a Body Good

Got milk? The slogan became a pop culture phenomenon in the late 90s and early 2000s, thanks to the line of ‘milk mustache’ ads, featuring a who’s who list of celebrities during the time. Here’s a look at some of the best posters from the campaign (or at least the ones I felt like lampooning):

Kermit the Frog

Why a Muppet would need milk, I’ll never figure out… aren’t they more energy drink folk? Kermit does look quite dapper in this ad, which also included the tagline: “Milk isn’t just for tadpoles.”

got-milk-kermit

Austin Powers

Capitalizing on the popularity of Mike Myers’ secret agent character, the ad featured the spectacled one lounging on a couch, decked out in a silk blue robe (likely post-shag) with hairy chest that simply can’t be contained. Oh yeah, and martini glass of milk in hand wraps things up.

Steven Tyler

Typically the only white substance under the Aerosmith frontman’s nose is cocaine (aka booger sugar). Tyler’s mouth is iconic, while the caption “Make your bones rock hard” could certainly be misconstrued.

Garfield

The ad featured everyone’s favourite wisecracking cat with plate of lasagna. I don’t know about you, but I prefer my pasta with a nice glass of wine.

got-milk-garfield

Lindsay Lohan

I find it ironic that Lohan’s poster featured the tagline “The height of fame,” especially given the fall from grace her career and life would suffer in the years that followed.

Alex Trebek

The Jeopardy quiz master has one of the most iconic mustaches to ever exist – with or without milk. Add in the caption “Your bones may be in jeopardy” and that is one clever, if not intimidating ad.

Mixer Mania #3: The Sombrero

The Sombrero.JPG

  • 1.5 oz Kahlua Chili Chocolate
  • Top with Milk
  • Garnish with a Chocolate

Mrs. Sip actually collected these posters and magazine ads for a time and had her bedroom adorned with them. It was fun to have them in one place and see all the stars who had participated in the campaign.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I prefer to use recipes that are a little more complex than this, but it provided the perfect opportunity to open my new Kahlua Chili Chocolate bottle. That liqueur packs a punch and I’m happy to say it comes as advertised. I wish I had thicker milk for this cocktail, but Skim is what Mrs. Sip prefers and it worked decently here, helping to cool the spicy Kahlua.

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Flavour Revolution – Coffee

Just Add Water

Let’s be straight: coffee is basically ground beans with the addition of water. Yup, that’s what you’re forking over good money to buy from places like Starbucks and their competitors. Admittedly, some things are just better with a splash of the wet stuff. Here are the best items where a little water goes a long way!

Tea/Coffee/Hot Chocolate

Of those three options, I’m more of a hot chocolate man, but I must admit that I don’t really like hot beverages much at all. I think one of the simplest pleasures in life is a cold drink… with lots of ice! It often blows my mind how expensive these drinks can be, given they’re usually comprised of something cheap (a tea bag or hot chocolate packet), simply joined by hot water.

hot drinks devil's temperature

Kool-Aid

I grew up on Kool-Aid, and the product really provided the first lessons in mixology that I ever learned. So much so, that I worked hard to perfect the right level of sugar to include in my pitchers of the juice. I had a few favourites over the years, including Blue Raspberry Lemonade, Strawberry Kiwi, and old-fashioned Lemon-Lime.

Ramen Noodles

Joining Kool-Aid, noodles were an essential part of my college diet. It’s amazing what one little flavour packet can do to improve your disposition in life! Okay, so the noodles probably aren’t that good for you, but they’re cheap and effective in quashing those hunger pains. Research has come along that says these noodles will lead to heart attacks and diabetes. It might be worth it!

Chicken Noodle Soup

It’s funny that a push was made through the new millennium to add more chicken, vegetables, and noodles to this classic soup, which works quite well as a cold and flu remedy. It has been my experience that people are mostly in it for the broth anyway, but if you prefer your soup to be loaded with other ingredients – let’s call them flavour enhancers – then that’s cool with the Sip Advisor.

chicken noodle soup

Pool/Hot Tub

Growing up with a backyard pool was amazing. I always wished I could have a hot tub, though, as that would be the best way to get Mrs. Sip in her bikini during the winter months! For other outdoor water fun, you could also throw together a classic Slip N’ Slide or load up a Super Soaker and get a little trigger happy!

Chia Pet

Cha-cha-cha Chia… with that innocent little jingle, the world was introduced to these potted plants. All you had to do was spread some seed (sounds dirty, eh) around the animal body, add water and before you knew it, you had a plant of your very own. Later, Chia Pets capitalized on popular characters, such as Scooby Doo and Garfield. There’s even a Barack Obama variation.

Theme Park Ride

Is there anything better than an amusement park ride that splashes down into a range of water… unless it’s the middle of winter and getting soaked is the last thing on your mind? During hot, humid days, though, these attractions can be a godsend. Some of my favourite water rides are Disney’s Splash Mountain and Grizzly River Rapids, Universal’s Jurassic Park, and Knott’s Perilous Plunge.

Flavour Revolution: Fall at Dusk

  • 1 oz Patron XO Café Liqueur
  • 1 oz Elderflower Liqueur
  • Splash of Pineapple Juice
  • Dash of Basil Syrup
  • Top with Soda Water
  • Garnish with a Pineapple Wedge

I have to disclose that I am in no way a fan of coffee, unless it comes in booze form. If you are, I forgive you for your sins. Testify, my little sippers!

Flavour Revolution – Banana

Fave Foods

Bananas are making a huge comeback – in fact, they may have never been so popular – thanks to the Minions and their fondness for the tropical fruit… heck, “banana” is one of the few words that can be understood from the Minionese language. Despite all the wonderful food out there, some characters have favourites, preferring one item over anything else. Here are some of the finest examples:

Cookies – Cookie Monster

Thank the lord above that this character wasn’t created nowadays or he might have been Fruit-in-Yogurt Monster or something ridiculous like that. As a proud and certified member of the Cookie Monster club, I fully endorse the high pursuit of cookie happiness. While the Sip Advisor has his favourite cookie options, Cookie Monster is not picky in the slightest. Every treat is perfect for the occasion.

Lasagna – Garfield

While this kitty isn’t adverse to any food, lasagna is by far his favourite. This is based on the fact that creator Jim Davis is also a lasagna lover, saying fans come up to him often saying their cats eat the Italian dish. The thought of any cat I’ve ever had enjoying pasta noodles just doesn’t jive, but Garfield is in it for the meat and cheese (kind of sounds like Mrs. Sip!).

Pizza – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Mostly all teens love pizza and that’s no different with these heroes in a half shell, who manage to get their hands on the meal, despite living in the sewers beneath New York City. What took the Turtles enjoyment of pizza to a whole other level was the wacky combinations they ordered, such as granola and licorice, peanut butter and clams, and coconut and sweet pickle.

Donuts – Homer Simpson

If there’s one thing Homer Simpson loves more than beer and even pork chops, it’s donuts. So much so, that one element of currency in the game The Simpsons: Tapped Out, is the dessert treat. Donuts have played a role in many of Homer’s adventures, most notably, the selling of his soul for a tasty pastry… to a devil Ned Flanders, of all people!

Homer Donut

Honey – Winnie the Pooh

The lengths, to which Winnie the Pooh will go, in the pursuit of honey (or ‘hunny’ as it’s known in the Hundred Acre Wood), are pretty remarkable. This loveable, seemingly always hungry bear has a habit of getting his head caught in a honey pot, but it’s totally worth it for a smackeral of the good stuff. There’s even a song, penned by Pooh, which is basically all about honey love!

Tater Tots – Napoleon Dynamite

The only thing that gets Napoleon Dynamite through a tough day of school (or at his dysfunctional home, for that matter) is the promise of tater tots from the school cafeteria. The teen always seems to have the side dish on him, often stuffed in his pockets for later enjoyment. He also doesn’t hesitate to snatch his friend’s tater tots, if the opportunity arises.

Marmalade – Paddington Bear

Much like his carnivorous counterpart, Winnie the Pooh, Paddington Bear has a weakness for a toast accompaniment. In Paddington’s case, it is a fondness for marmalade. In 2007, Paddington tried “something different” with Marmite sandwiches, but he will always be a marmalade bear. If we’re talking preserves, the Sip Advisor is more of a raspberry jam fan, but whateves!

Flavour Revolution: Monkey Business

  • Muddle Cardamom Pods
  • 1.5 oz Bourbon
  • 1 oz Bols Banana Liqueur
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Garnish with Cardamom Pods

Some honourable mentions include Monterrey Jack (Rescue Rangers) and his crazed obsession with cheese; Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes) and his penchant for chomping on a carrot every time he’s foiled an antagonist; and Popeye, who without spinach, would have absolutely no chance against the dastardly Bluto, in his pursuit of Olive Oil. I can’t help but notice that many of my favourite characters ever comprise this list. When you add the Sip Advisor as a bona fide potato chip connoisseur, the article is complete!

Flavour Revolution – Honey

Terms of Endearment

The term ‘honey’, given to a loved one, has been documented to have existed all the way back in the 14th century. It is something I have often called Mrs. Sip, who is as sweet as they come! Let’s take a look at some other terms, from around the world, that just don’t measure up:

Petit Chou – Little Cabbage (French)

Cabbage smells funny when cooked and is a food that many just can’t wrap their heads around taste wise. You would also never think that cabbage is cute or even remotely attractive in any way. I think if I ever handed this term out to Mrs. Sip, she would make a quick trip to the shower and I’d be setting up shop on the couch for an indeterminate stay…

Cabbages

Tamago Gata No Kao – Egg with Eyes (Japanese)

In all technicality, aren’t we all “eggs with eyes”!? The scary part is, for a culture that has such other oddities going on, as tentacle porn and panties in vending machines, things could have turned out worse, especially given what the Japanese are willing to eat, in the sushi realm. All I can envision when I see this term is some weird anime character with an oddly sweet voice.

Ma Puce – My Flea (French)

The French make this list a second time, which should be a solid indictment against their language, as a whole!  I’m sure your partner would love to hear that you think of them as a blood-sucking parasite that causes you to feel itchy and uncomfortable. I wouldn’t even use this term on a child. If animals hate fleas so much, why in the world would I like them!?

Self Cleaning Cat

Chang Noi – Little Elephant (Thai)

The one saving grace here is that the term is “little elephant” and not a plain old elephant. That said, little elephants still weigh in at an average of 200 pounds at birth and grow steadily from that point. I can only imagine the thrashing any male Thai nationals received upon using this term in other locales, from women who had no interest in being compared to a baby pachyderm!

Chen Yu Luo Yan – Diving Fish Swooping Geese (Chinese)

I’m not even sure where to begin with this term and how to really break it down. Given the two terms that are being combined, I can only assume that this term of endearment would be handed out to someone who was skilled at oral sex. You know, with all the “going down” in dives and swoops. Of the five terms I’ve chosen to deride, this may be the most flattering.

Flavour Revolution: Tennessee Honey Hole

Tennessee Honey Hole Cocktail

Given I’ve taken a shot at some terms of endearment, I feel I should reveal a couple of mine, that little sippers can ridicule if they choose. I often call Mrs. Sip “Pookie,” based off of Garfield the Cat’s stuffed animal. Have at it, but I will never stop, as I’m sure anyone who uses the above terms has no intention of changing their game!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Well, this cocktail sounds a little dirty, but I guess it kind of goes along with the subject matter of today’s article. The drink was pretty good, with peach pulp coming through the straw with every sip. The peaches I used weren’t as flavourful as I would have hoped for, but the Jack Daniel’s and Ginger Ale made up for it.

Belgium – Moon Drops

Comic Creations

While Get Fuzzy is the Sip Advisor’s favourite comic and he doesn’t stray too far from that strip (although he loves him the occasional Garfield story), Belgium is known for a few animated legends that have recently been turned into feature film franchises. Let’s take a closer look at these works:

The Adventures of Tintin

First published in 1929, Tintin was created by the artist simply known as Hergé (real name Georges Remi) as part of a newspaper supplement. Tintin books have gone on to become big business, selling more than 350 million copies in over 80 different languages. The character is often described as a native son of Belgium, which is pretty good praise for someone whose best friends are a dog and an oft-drunk sea captain.

Have you ever wondered where the name Tintin came from? The character’s first name is actually Martin and Tintin is a common nickname for people named Martin in French-speaking countries. His dog Snowy is actually called Milou in the French comics, while the detective duo of Thompson and Thomson are named Dupont and Dupond.

Tintin Age

Tintin, a teenage journalist and detective, has travelled the world and even beyond it. He’s had adventures in the Congo, the Soviet Union, China, and even on the moon. If you wish to keep up with his globetrotting, you may be out of luck. Some of the regions he’s visited are completely made up, such as Khemed, Borduria, Syldavia, and Nuevo Rico.

The 2011 film release, involving movie moguls Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson, sees Hergé actually appear in the opening scene as the street artist. A Tintin theatrical release had been in the works since the 1980’s, when Spielberg first crafted a script for the Belgian icon. There has also been a Tintin TV cartoon (the Sip Advisor’s first introduction to Tintin adventures), BBC radio show, two French live-action films, stage shows, and publicity stunts.

Belgium Balls

The Smurfs

Created in 1958 by artist Peyo (what’s with all these Belgian comic creators going by a singular name), also known as Pierre Culliford, the Smurfs are branded as Les Schtroumpfs, in French. Peyo came up with the word ‘schtroumpfs’ when he forgot the word for salt at a dinner party and made something up on the spot. Smurf is simply the Dutch translation of the word.

The Smurfs, thanks to their North American TV cartoon, become a pop culture hit in the 1980’s (Smurfmania had already hit the U.K. in the 70’s), spawning their own cereal (including a commercial starring a 13-year-old Jack Black), video games, songs, dance craze, theme park attractions, Ice Capades show, and, of course, lines of toys and other merchandise that kids just had to have.

bring-me-a-smurf

In the beginning, there was only 99 Smurf characters, but that number has risen over the years. Despite the growth in population, there are only three female Smurfs: Smurfette, Sassette, and Nanny Smurf… talk about a sausage party! Some Smurfs from the original comics never made the crossover to TV and film. These characters include Alchemist Smurf, Timid Smurf, Enamored Smurf, Finance Smurf, Lumberjack Smurf, and Navigator Smurf.

The Smurfs helped create modern zombies, thanks to a 1959 comic called ‘The Black Smurfs’ (‘The Purple Smurfs’ in North America). The story was about a Smurf being bitten by an insect, before going around and biting other Smurfs, turning them into aggressive, living-dead beings. This comic was released years before George A. Romero’s ‘Night of the Living Dead’ and featured the birth of Grouchy Smurf, the patient zero who never regained his full Smurf senses following the outbreak.

Belgium: Moon Drops

Moon Drops Cocktail

Belgium has been dubbed ‘Home of the Comic Strip’ and these panels are considered to be an important part of Belgian life. Next time the Sip Advisor is visiting, he will certainly sit down with a Tintin or Smurfs anthology and give it a read. Some Belgian beer will help with the language barrier!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail was simple, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The drops of Sherry floated on top of the drink, gave the brew a unique taste and made it look neat with that hazy red colour. Stella is a clean, crisp and easy to drink beer.

November 1 – Teddy Bear

Full of Stuffing

There are some great stuffed animals that have appeared in media over the years. Friends of our favourite characters who just don’t get the attention they deserve. Well, that’s going to change right now. Here are the Top 5 stuffed animals:

#5: Larry the Leopard – The Cleveland Show

Larry the Leopard is Cleveland Brown Jr.’s imaginary friend. With a relationship bordering on the creepy (ie. Larry is sometimes portrayed as Junior’s spouse), Larry is an important part of his owner’s life. Junior practically has a nervous breakdown when Larry is put through the washer and dryer, taking away his essence or as it is more filthily known, his stank. Cleveland Sr. is not a fan of the stuffed animal and its effect on Junior, who takes advice from the inanimate object.

Larry the Leopard

#4: Teddy – Mr. Bean

It seems at times as if Teddy is the only person Mr. Bean cares for… although Bean’s use of Teddy in his palns often results in punishment to the bear. The two exchange Christmas gifts, Mr. Bean makes sure Teddy is safely buckled in while driving, and the bear is given its own bed. Teddy became such a popular character in the series, that Ty (makers of Beanie Babies) produced a replica, so fans of the series could have their own adventures with the stuffed bear.

#3: Clyde Frog, Rumper Tumpskin, etc. – South Park

Cartman has a whole collection of stuffed toys that become his imaginary friends (also including Polly Prissypants, Peter Panda, and Muscle Man Marc), joining him for tea parties and otherwise filling in for Cartman’s lack of a father. When Cartman is finally ready to grow up and leave behind his plush friends, they are all murdered in a twisted, schizophrenic fashion with Cartman as the culprit and his childhood toys as the victims.

Cartman Stuffed Animals

#2: Rupert – Family Guy

While Rupert seems like an innocent enough stuffed bear, when Stewie imagines the two of them cavorting together in his fantasy world, Rupert becomes a muscled man (save for his teddy bear head) is skimpy speedo shorts. There are many other insinuations that Rupert is gay, likely playing off of Stewie’s own ambiguous sexuality. Stewie losing Rupert or moving on from the toy has been used in a couple of episodes, but the bear always winds up back in the crib.

#1: Hobbes – Calvin and Hobbes

Like the other stuffed animals on this list, Hobbes becomes an imaginary friend to his owner, in this case Calvin. The two get up to all sorts of trouble together with Hobbes trying to be the voice of reason, but often being ignored. Artist Bill Watterson blurs the lines of how real Hobbes may be with events like Hobbes being regularly tossed in the washing machine, which are baths that the tiger is forced to deal with.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear Shot

  • Rim glass with Chocolate Syrup
  • 0.25 oz Kahlua
  • 0.25 oz Peppermint Schnapps
  • 0.25 oz Cola
  • 0.25 oz Milk

Honourable mentions go to Winnie the Pooh, Ted, Pookie (Garfield), Smacky (Get Fuzzy), Mr. Bear (Full House), and Bobo (The Simpsons). What’s your favourite stuffed animal from the entertainment world? It’s time to get cuddly!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot was pretty good, reminding me of a Cola float… and how could you go wrong with that! The Chocolate Syrup rim took me back to the days of stuffed animals with early morning cartoons and chocolate milk. You know, the good ol’ days!

March 22 – Fat Cat

Cat Scratch Fever

They don’t need our love, but we shower them with adoration anyway. I’ve always been a cat guy and find them to be a great pet for someone as lazy as myself. They’re pretty self-sufficient (don’t need to be walked or washed) and will be entirely happy with a dish full of food, warm laundry to nap on, and the odd catnip toy for a little buzz and exercise. Here are the top five greatest felines in history:

#5: Puss in Boots – Shrek

The little kitty is clever and cunning. He lures his foes in with his deep, dark, sad eyes and once they are mesmerized, out comes the sword and the fight is on. Puss is a furry version of Zorro and not coincidentally is voiced by Antonio Banderas, who played the iconic swordsman in recent times. Whether he’s teaming with Shrek, Donkey and the rest of the gang or enjoying his own adventure, Puss is sure to leave his mark (hopefully not literally) on history.

puss-in-boots

#4: Tom – Tom & Jerry

Poor, poor Tom. No matter how hard he tries, Jerry always manages to elude him and Tom usually winds up with a boo-boo. Therefore, I always liked it best when Tom and Jerry teamed up. After all, the two have been around since the 1940’s, which is a long time to be continually chasing one another. The duo’s long standing rivalry has had an influence on other media. Even Jackass star Johnny Knoxville credits the tandem for inspiring some of the stunts the troupe attempt.

#3: Bucky – Get Fuzzy

Bucky isn’t as well-known as some of the other felines on this list, but he’s above and beyond, one of the funniest. Bucky is a terror to his owner Rob and roommate Satchel (a Sharpie-Labrador cross). A lot of the humour in Get Fuzzy comes from the pets’ misunderstanding of human words and actions and Bucky is a master of the misinterpretation. He’s also constantly scheming for money, food or domination over the apartment, which often results in his being grounded in his closet.

Bucky Katt

#2: Garfield – Garfield & Friends, etc.

What’s great about Garfield is that he just doesn’t care. He only has room for a few loves in his world and that void is quickly filled by food (particularly lasagna), his blankie, and stuffed bear. Sure, he’s occasionally nice to John and Odie, but that’s only for holiday specials like Christmas and Halloween. For this cat, it’s all about the luxuries in life. Garfield is so lazy, he can’t even be bothered to form meaningful relationship with other cats.

#1: Sylvester – Looney Tunes

Sure, Sylvester’s not the smartest animal on the block, but he gets an ‘A’ for effort, every time out. If he ever caught that infernal Tweety Bird, the world would rejoice in a congregation more massive than the Olympic opening ceremony parade. Sylvester’s son and wife also appear in some animated shorts, with his son often declaring “Mother, get the bandages,” after his father gets roughed up by any number of adversaries.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Fat Cat

Fat Cat Shooter

  • 1 oz Irish Crème
  • 0.25 oz Amaretto
  • 0.25 oz Crème de Banane

I’m sure I’ve made some choices with this ranking that has upset some of you. Send your best cat claws my way and make me regret my decisions. If I don’t hear any criticism, I will assume that my picks are good as gold and all free thinking will henceforth be left up to the Sip Advisor… you’re welcome!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Okay, this one is going to take some explaining. Sure it doesn’t look like your typical shooter, but this is how a cat would drink it. I wanted to present the shot in a saucer type dish to go along with the name and theme of the recipe. It’s a pretty good shot, but the Crème de Banane gets buried and you taste the Amaretto the most. Drink up, my little kitties!