September 4 – Playmate Martini

Listless

As an internet entrepreneur, I’m always looking to raise my stock and evolve this brand. That can be helped greatly by making one of the popular vote lists that have run amok all over the world. These are the famous, world-recognized lists I hope to make:

Forbes 500

As I continue to grow this little congregating spot for alcoholics and the severely depressed alike, money will surely start rolling in (you know, once I design my line of Little Sipper Wear) and the empire of Sip will begin to take shape. I’d also settle for topping Forbes’ list of Richest Fictional Characters because when you live in a world of fantasy, such as I do, reality dissipates as quick as a frozen cocktail melts.

Scrooge McDuck

Top 30 Under 30

Sadly, I only have a month left to do this, but when there’s a will, there’s a way! I’m sure the maker’s of this list would make a special exemption for the Sip Advisor, should the deadline pass and I have not had the honour bestowed upon myself. I guess I can always regroup and shoot for 40 Under 40, but then things seem to get a little diluted as far as quality goes. Perhaps we should work on a Facebook/Twitter campaign in my honour!

Sexiest Man Alive

I know all you little sippers out there are shocked I haven’t already topped this list, but I’ve been practically black balled by the voters for fear that once I was selected, the list would lose all meaning. While I take issue with their stance, I do understand that chaos would result with my gracing the cover of this prestigious magazine and it wouldn’t be long before we heard the thundering patter of the Four Horsemen in the distance.

sexiest-man-alive

Oprah’s Book Club

It really doesn’t matter what I write, but if I can put together some piece of work that Oprah endorses, I’ll have millions of unhappy housewives around the world eating out of the palm of my hand. It could be a tell-all memoir detailing the sordid life I lead or perhaps I’ll simply compile all the awesome adventures we’ve shared thanks to this site. Either way, I thirst for that stamp of approval!

Playmate of the Month

This is one I’ve worked really hard for. Of course, I would be featured in Playgirl Magazine for all the lonely ladies out there to lust over. My greatest feature is probably my finely-manicured ears, which will surely stand out in any pictorial spread. I’m not even going to be greedy and ask for Playmate of the Year… just throw me a bone and give me one of the 12 months… is that too much to ask!?

Drink #247: Playmate Martini

Playmate Martini

  • 0.5 oz Courvoisier Cognac
  • 0.5 oz Grand Marnier
  • 0.5 oz Apricot Brandy
  • Top with Orange Juice
  • Dash of Egg Whites
  • Dash of Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with Strawberry and Raspberry

Have I missed any lists that are a must to be on? Which lists do you long to be inducted onto? I’ll try my best to make all of our dreams come true!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Egg Whites add a nice foamy layer to the top of the cocktail, which enhances its look and taste. As usual, the Apricot Brandy is delicious and here it is boosted even further by top end liquors Grand Marnier and Courvoisier Cognac.

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August 6 – The Three Ladies

All the Right Moves

I wish I had the skills these dudes have at making women swoon for them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no slouch, but it’s not like I can ever claim to have bedded three girls in the same movie or dated a menagerie of playmates all at the same time. I have, however, been named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ by People Magazine, so I got that going for me! Here are the world’s finest Ladies Men:

Leon Phelps, The Ladies’ Man

The Saturday Night Live sketch character was always known to be surrounded by beautiful ladies, a roaring fire, and his snifter filled with Courvoisier Cognac (today’s featured alcohol). In this setting, the Ladies’ Man often waxed philosophical about how to treat a lady and efficiently get them into bed with you. While some question his techniques, the man speaks from experience.

Leon Phelps

James Bond

When not saving the world from a megalomaniac baddie, Double-0-7 can usually be found between the sheets with any number of beautiful women. His trysts never last long though, as his interest turns on him, is killed by a henchman or villain, or simply disappears with the beginning of a new mission and adventure. All that lovin’ and he doesn’t have to deal with any emotional mess… lucky bastard!

Austin Powers

The ‘International Man of Mystery’, Austin Powers, uses his mojo to shag just as many women as his inspiration, James Bond. While chasing down the diabolical Dr. Evil, Powers’ escapades present him with ample opportunity to work his magic on the fairer sex. His laundry list of bedmates includes Vanessa Kensington, Felicity Shagwell, and Foxxy Cleopatra. Best of all, he’s been able to land ladies across decades thanks to being frozen and his time travel exploits.

George Clooney

Cloontang was named People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ in both 1997 and 2006, as well as TV Guide’s ‘Sexiest Star of All-Time,’ and the perennial bachelor has dated an endless list of the world’s most attractive women. From former wrestling personality Stacy Keibler to the future Mrs. John Travolta (Kelly Preston), Clooney has wooed them all.

george_clooney

Not sure if this falls under the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ category!

Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson knows all the tricks in the book (he even wrote a couple guides) to make women fall for him instantly. Neil Patrick Harris gained the role thanks to playing a greatly exaggerated version of himself in the Harold and Kumar series of movies. Ironically, the Stinson womanizing character is a total contrast to NPH’s real life, where he is a monogamous gay man.

Val Venis

Wrestling’s most notable ladies’ man burst onto the scene in 1998 and quickly made a reputation for himself, wooing a number of fellow wrestler’s wives, girlfriends, valets, and even a rival’s sister. The porn star character would then make films with these girls, sending his opponents into a rage long before they met in the ring. An attempted castration of Venis was even attempted after he stole the wife of Mr. Yamaguchi. Yes, this actually happened on live TV!

Venis

Yes, there was actually a castration scene in professional wrestling…

Sterling Archer

Despite being a total dick, Archer has a way with the ladies. Perhaps it’s because he’s completely, 100% awesome! How can you not fall in love with a guy who drinks as much as he does and still functions at a secret agent level of ability? Sure he’s a little rough around the edges, but women are always looking for a fixer-upper and in Archer, you have the best of all worlds.

Hugh Hefner

The media magnate responsible for Playboy magazine has led a storied life full of beautiful women, often finding himself being shared by multiple females at the same time… and they’re usually girls that could be his great granddaughter! He’s currently married to a young lass 60 years his junior. Every guy dreams of hanging out at the Playboy Mansion grotto, surrounded by a bevy of lovely ladies and we have ol’ Hef to thank for that.

Drink #218: The Three Ladies

Aug 6

  • 1 oz Courvoisier Cognac
  • 0.5 oz Triple Sec
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Splash of Club Soda
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Dash of Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with Lime Wedges and Mint Leaves

We’ve all learned a lot from these individuals and it’s time to put our knowledge to the test. Oh, Mrs. Sip, where are you? It’s time to play! Now where could she be hiding? Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
There’s not much to this cocktail, but it still manages to be refreshing and flavourful, while remaining light. The Cognac comes through nicely for a fine finish.

February 3 – Bill Murray

On the Rocks

Groundhog

As a bit of a carryover from yesterday’s post, in the movie Groundhog Day, Phil Connors (Bill Murray) orders “sweet vermouth on the rocks, with a twist,” his producer Rita’s (Andie MacDowell) favourite drink, in a bid to get closer to her. He learns this on the first day of his Groundhog Day loop and tries to exploit it on subsequent repeated days. Apparently this is the actual favourite drink of director Harold Ramis’ wife. So, given that I’m doing this challenge and I’m always open to new recipes, I thought I’d give it a shot. First though, here are some other drinks that are enjoyed on the rocks:

Scotch

I’ve only got into Scotch over the last few years, but I really enjoy it. In that time, I’ve been lucky to sample some really good stuff (thanks to some very generous friends and family) and most recently I met the pinnacle of drinking when I was able to have a glass of Ron Swanson’s (Parks and Recreation) favourite libation Lagavulin 16 Year Old. Imagine me, a mild-mannered drink jockey getting to enjoy this fine substance… let the good times roll! (See January 8 – Scotch on the Rocks for further reading)

Disaronno (Amaretto)

This is one of my favourite end-of-night, unwinding drinks. A couple cubes and a splash of Disaronno is all I need before bedtime. Call it nappy time juice! It used to be that cookies and milk were all I needed but then I entered my 30’s! Okay, I’m not there yet, but cookies and milk have been pushed aside for liqueurs and whatever is lying around the house that resembles food. It doesn’t really matter, I’ll eat anything.

Southern Comfort

I first tried Southern Comfort on the rocks on my honeymoon cruise and enjoyed it enough to buy a bottle. I’m curious to try some of the other Southern Comfort flavours out there, such as Fiery Pepper, Bold Black Cherry, plus one mama Sip Advisor told me about (this drinking is a family thing, after all), Lime. So, I have the perfect evening planned: southern BBQ, washed down by SoCo!

Southern Comfort

Courvoisier (Cognac)

Now, I’ve only had this once before, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. Perhaps it holds a place in my heart because it helped me fall asleep on a flight, which I’m rarely able to do. I also love how it was regularly featured in the Ladies Man skits on Saturday Night Live. Great choice, Leon!

Ladies Man

Bailey’s Irish Crème

This last one is geared a little more towards the ladies, I suppose. I personally like drinks that have a little bit more of an edge, but I know there are a lot of folks out there that love their Irish Crèmes and anything that’s easier to down. It’s a smooth ride for these alcohols and there’s also an array of intriguing flavours (mint chocolate, crème caramel, hazelnut, biscotti) coming out from the Bailey’s people and other similar companies.

Drink #34: Bill Murray

Sweet Vermouth with Twist Drink

  • 2 oz Sweet Vermouth (I used Martini brand)
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Garnish with lemon twist

In honour of the legendary Bill Murray, I’ve gone ahead and named this concoction after him. I mean, Andie MacDowell is okay, but Bill Murray is Dr. Peter Venkman… groundskeeper Carl Spackler… hell, he’s even Garfield! This was the first time I ever had sweet vermouth on the rocks, as I usually only use it when making Manhattans. This is the type of experimenting I enjoy best and I thought the drink was great, especially with the addition of lemon.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Shockingly, no one has ever given this drink a name before, which is a shame because I believe that we should salute Bill Murray whenever the opportunity arises. I thought Sweet Vermouth on the rocks was actually a tasty drink and something you might have when unwinding after dinner, as a dessert aperitif.

January 27 – AC Maple Leaf

Mixology on the Fly

open bar

Recently, my wife scored some tickets to the Air Canada Maple Leaf Lounge at YVR. On our recent holiday, we decided to stop there before our flight, and what a time we had. First, I was able to grab a free copy of The Hockey News magazine – it’s always good to have some reading material for the flight and whatever travel bugs you might have to suffer through (we were en route to Mexico, after all) and then we headed to the food station for some eats. That’s when I noticed it: there, illuminated by god’s light, as angels sang in my head, was the free-pour bar, stocked with nearly everything a mixologist needs.

My jaw dropped, eyes bulged… I might have even got a little aroused. I frisbeed my plate away, smashing it against a wall, and skipped (literally!) over to the bar. I couldn’t think straight. What did I want to make? WHAT DID I WANT TO MAKE?… and how many drinks could I throw back in the next hour?

I went to work, putting together a mix of Crown Royal Whiskey and Grand Marnier. Top with some Sprite, toss a wedge of lime on there and you have yourself a delicious cocktail invented in mere moments. I also did my best to make a Long Island Iced Tea, but had to sub Grand Marnier in for Triple Sec, which didn’t turn out too badly, as both spirits have an orange taste.

After double-fisting those cocktails, it was onto some heavy lifting. I quickly fired up a scotch on the rocks, courtesy of close friend Johnnie Walker and finished with a healthy dose of Courvoisier Cognac, to bring out the ladies’ man in me.

The key to mixing on the fly, is having an idea of what tastes good together, or at least, what different liquors taste like. I knew I could trust Grand Marnier as a flavor enhancer and that worked out quite well. If anyone else wants to give me tickets to a private airport lounge (or an open bar – anytime, anywhere), you know where to find me!

Drink #27: AC Maple Leaf (An on-the-fly Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

AC Maple Leaf Cocktail

  • 1 oz Crown Royal Whiskey
  • 1 oz Grand Marnier
  • Top with lemon-lime soda
  • Garnish with a lemon wedge

Sip Adviosr Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was a fun little recipe to cook up on the fly. Using what I had at my disposal, I think I put together a pretty decent drink. The Crown Royal and Grand Marnier work well together and some Lemon-Lime soda just completes the concoction.