Mixer Mania #24 – Cut of Pork

As today’s featured mixer is the Lester’s Fixins Bacon Soda, I just can’t get the pork product out of my mind. That got me thinking about all the great fictional pigs out there. Here are some of those swine:

Porky Pig – Looney Tunes

Porky Pig has been stuttering his way into our hearts since 1935. Although Porky can sometimes be pushed to the limits of sanity (by the likes of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck), he’s generally a jovial fellow. We’ll always remember him for his trademark catchphrase: “That’s all folks!”

Miss Piggy – The Muppets

If Porky Pig is the king of the sty, then Miss Piggy would be his queen. I’d actually like to see a crossover project of that nature, although you’d have to imagine Miss Piggy would only be using Porky to make long-time beau Kermit the Frog jealous.

Overly Attached Girlfriend

Babe – Babe

This little porker was so talented, it was considered for a Best Actor Oscar… only the character was played by countless animals, so it was hard to nominate one sole “actor”. Still, folks fell in love with Babe, leading to a sequel that earned high praise from both Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert.

Hamton J. Pig – Tiny Toon Adventures

Following in the footsteps of Porky Pig is a daunting task, but at least at Acme Looniversity, Hamton has the opportunity to learn from the master, himself. Much like Porky, Hamton is often at the mercy of his partners, such as Plucky Duck.

ManBearPig – South Park

A figment from the imagination of former US vice-president Al Gore, ManBearPig was something to be feared. Of course, during the Imaginationland saga, ManBearPig comes to life and is every bit as terrible as Mr. Gore always claimed it would be.

manbearpig

Piglet – Winnie the Pooh

While Piglet is among my least favourite Winnie the Pooh characters, the loyal friendship he provides to the loveable honey-obsessed bear is truly touching. Piglet even got his own feature film, which featured Pooh and pals searching for the little alarmist.

Pumbaa – The Lion King

Warthog Pumbaa, along with meerkat Timon, seemingly help young lion Simba mature from cat to king of the jungle through the course of one song. These sidekicks to the future ruler of the Pridelands proved so popular that they received their own cartoon series and film.

Ganon – The Legend of Zelda

Before he was changed to a human, the evil sorcerer Ganon was originally a pig-like being and a thorn in the side of Hyrulians everywhere. His tireless pursuit of the Triforce – for the purpose of malicious intent and Hyrule domination – has led to many adventures for our hero Link.

Ganondorf

Bebop – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Sticking with pig-like baddies, this mutant warthog is a constant pain for the TMNT crew to deal with. Although, along with fellow thug Rocksteady, he’s mostly a bumbling temporary distraction, Bebop has been known to do some degree of damage, along the way.

Bad Piggies – Angry Birds

The antagonists of the Angry Birds franchise have proven so popular that they even got their own game: Bad Piggies. Sure, they are evil and have stolen bird eggs for consumption – plus the pigs surly snicker when you fail a level is infuriating – but there’s something endearing about these villains.

Mixer Mania #24: Bacon & Eggs

Bacon & Eggs.JPG

  • Rim glass with Bacon Bits
  • 1.5 oz Whiskey
  • Top with Bacon Soda
  • Dash of Egg Whites

Pigs may perhaps be the best tasting animal out there, but you wouldn’t want to eat those previous little piggies.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Much like with my efforts to find a cocktail recipe for the Peanut Butter & Jelly Soda, this was not an easy task. I went with this idea and altered it as needed. The drink was highlighted by the Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey and the Bacon Bit Rim. That said, the Bacon Soda was a decent contributor, as well.

Flavour Revolution – Raspberry

Blowing a Raspberry

The Razzie Awards are like the anti-Oscars. They were invented by John J.B. Wilson in 1980, with the first ceremony being held in Wilson’s own living room. The trophy’s, which feature a golden raspberry on top of an 8mm film roll, have grown in popularity ever since. Here are some of the most-nominated Razzie Award contenders in Hollywood history:

Sylvester Stallone

It seems like everything Sly Stallone has ever done earned him some Razzie consideration, including his most famous characters in Rocky Balboa and John Rambo. Stallone even had the title “Worst Actor of the Decade” and later “Worst Actor of the Century” bestowed upon him, resulting from 32 nominations and 10 wins. “Yo Adrian, I did it!”

chiropractor-Stallone

Kevin Costner

Mr. Costner has survived a rollercoaster career, rife with many peaks and valleys. This has been highlighted by his two Oscars, three Golden Globes, and one Emmy, while contrasted by his many Razzie nominations and wins. We are talking about an actor who didn’t even bother trying to fake an English accent for his turn as the mythical Robin Hood.

Madonna

The Queen of Pop has earned the dubious distinction of being the Razzie’s All-Time Worst Actress, with 15 nominations and nine victories to her credit, thus far. At the top of that list, was the foundation’s “Worst Actress of the Century” prize. It should be noted however, that Madge has also picked up a Golden Globe for Evita. Maybe, for safety purposes, she should stick to music.

Eddie Murphy

The latter stages of Eddie Murphy’s career has not been nearly as kind to him, as the early triumphs he enjoyed. Films such as The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Norbit, Meet Dave, and A Thousand Words, cut into Murphy’s once immense popularity. At least he has a new Beverly Hills Cop sequel on the horizon. Perhaps that can put him back into the “Money in the Bank” classification.

eddie-murphy-prince

Sharon Stone

Clearly, sex doesn’t sell when it comes to the Razzie’s. For showing her most naughty bits in Basic Instinct, Stone received a nomination for “Worst New Star.” Most men appreciated her efforts, though. Perhaps worst of all, Stone was nominated, once again, a decade later for the same “Worst New Star” prize she had already won for the film Diabolique, as she tried to present a new side of her acting skills.

Adam Sandler

In one year alone (2011), Sandler accumulated 11 Razzie nominations, thanks to his work on Jack and Jill, Just Go With It, and Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star. Jack and Jill became the first movie to ever sweep the Razzie’s, winning 10 awards. Thanks to his dual role in the film, Sandler even picked up both the Worst Actor and Worst Actress honours, at the same time.

Flavour Revolution: Rose Royale

Rose Royale Martini

Some actors have even accepted their Razzie Award in person, beginning with Bill Cosby, for 1987’s Leonard, Part 6. Joining the controversial comedian in accepting this dubious honour are Tom Selleck, Tom Green, Ben Affleck, Halle Berry, and Sandra Bullock, among others.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I’ve never been the biggest fan of cream-based drinks, but this one wasn’t too bad. The tartness of the Raspberry Cream Liqueur was kind of nice and I made sure to use a finer Tequila, so as not to ruin the martini.

July 26 – Red Devil

Gingerbread Men

Well, apparently ‘Kick a Ginger Day’ just recently passed, but not being an observer of the holiday, I’d like to turn things in another direction and embrace our pale, freckled friends. Hell, some of them are pretty hot, as we’ll see in next week’s look at ginger females. Today, though, we breakdown the Top 5 ginger dudes… no kicking allowed!

#5: Richie Cunningham – Happy Days

While he may look like the biggest dork, Richie Cunningham is seemingly quite popular, with a group of loyal buddies, girls willing to date him, and particularly the Fonz even wanting (or willing) to be his pal. I guess the 50’s were truly a different time. Ron Howard is a Hollywood icon and is perhaps the most successful child actor of all-time. Whether he’s directing hit movies, returning to Mayberry, or narrating Arrested Development, this ginger has done it all and done it well.

Richie Cunningham

#4: Carrot Top

I urge anyone heading to Las Vegas to check out Carrot Top’s show at The Luxor. Even if you despise prop comedy (and there are certainly detractors of the art form), there’s something about Carrot Top’s energy and creativity that will leave you satisfied and exhausted from laughing. His manic delivery keeps the show running at super speeds and before you know it, the show is over and you’re wanting more redhead comedy.

#3: Ronald McDonald

While ‘Rotten Ronny’ here doesn’t do much for the ginger image – you know, looking all creepy and such – he is a global icon and one that most people identify with joyful childhood memories of Happy Meals, ball pits, and McDonalds birthday parties! While Grimace and the gang have faded into obscurity, Ronald is still a mascot and spokesperson for the brand. For better or worse, we may never bid farewell to the clown prince of hamburgers.

Ronald McDonald Joker

#2: Beaker – The Muppets

Poor Beaker has been suffering through ‘Kick a Ginger Day’ his entire life. Often the victim of Professor Bunsen Honeydew’s madcap inventions, this little lab assistant must absolutely hate going into work each day. Even though he’s a puppet, Beaker managed to appear during a professional wrestling match and help fellow ginger Sheamus pick up a victory thanks to a potion he whipped up. Now that’s some sweet redhead revenge!

#1: Philip J. Fry – Futurama

He may not be the brightest guy out there, but neither am I, so I feel Fry and I share some sort of bond… Brothers in Idiocy or something to that tune. Mrs. Sip and I have been going through all the Futurama episodes lately and it’s really made me appreciate the characters more than I did before. While we haven’t finished the series yet, I hope Fry has a happy ending (and not the naughty kind)… I know this fellow idiot got his!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Red Devil

Red Devil Shot

  • 0.5 oz Vodka (I used Loopy)
  • 0.5 oz Amaretto
  • 0.5 oz Cranberry Juice
  • Garnish with Cranberries

In closing, I have to give a shout out to my little buddy Furious B, a long-haired orange tabby. Wishing you many more adventures, vermin kills, and countless hours napping the day away!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I wanted to make sure the ‘Red’ title was a part of each recipe for these articles… mission accomplished (so far)! The Loopy Vodka (gifted to the Sip Advisor from Cousin Sip) was a nice touch with the Amaretto and I actually squeezed my own Cranberry Juice, which is not as easy to do as one would think. Luckily, I didn’t need much of it for a shooter.

Chile – Pisco Sour

Island Hopping

As we make our way to the country of Chile (not the food, although that sounds pretty good too and would go well with today’s drink) the Sip Advisor makes a point of learning something new every day… and today’s fresh factoid is a doozy: Did you know that Easter Island, located among the Polynesian islands and home to the Moai statues, is actually Chilean land? The more you know *rainbow star swipe*! Let’s take a closer look at this mysterious island:

The entire island, also known as Rapa Nui, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, as it offers a spectacular chance for researchers to learn about some of the world’s earliest civilizations. The Moai statues, for which the Easter Island is best known, were constructed between 1100-1680 CE. 887 of the figures have been catalogued and it’s estimated that each statue took one year to complete and was carved by a team, using volcanic ash from the extinct Rano Raraku volcano. Each sculpture represented the deceased head of a family.

stonehenge-easter-island

The Moai civilization believed that the dead provided everything their people needed, including health, successful crops, good fortune, etc. Most Moai settlements were located along the coast and that is why the statues are found there, facing inwards to look over the people and with their back to the spirit world of the sea.

The Birdmen Cult, whose leader could be anyone from wrestler Koko B. Ware to basketball star Chris Andersen (both enjoyed careers with the nickname Birdman), also once inhabited the island, following the Moai era. Also known as Tangatu Manu, they form a large part of the Rapa Nui mythology and their decorations can still be found at churches on Easter Island.

Easter Island covers only 63 square miles and is one of the world’s most isolated locations, inhabited by a population of only 4,781, as of 2009. Back in the day, constant clashes between tribes occurred on the small space and with limited resources and disease, it wasn’t long before the island fell to pieces. Chile gained control of Easter Island in 1888 and used it as an expansive sheep farm, protected by the Chilean Navy, until opening it to the public in 1966. At that time, the leftover Rapa Nui citizens were made people of Chile.

Easter-Island

As a massive fan of water, the Sip Advisor finds it incredibly disappointing that Easter Island lacks any freshwater source. That said, it is a freakin’ island, which receives a fair amount of rain. For this Vancouverite, it would certainly feel like home. Tourists can stay on Easter Island, but like other remote locations, goods and services can be much more expensive than in other parts of the world. The area is accessible by the Mataveri International Airport.

You might be asking: What else is there to do on Easter Island, other than view the statues. Well, part of the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series is held there, giving the Sip Advisor and fellow thrill-seekers a chance to join the Moai with smushed-in faces. Fishing is also a popular activity, as is watching the beautiful Polynesian women dance in revealing outfits!

In recent years, Easter Island has been cited as an example of what can happen when natural resources are mass consumed, which caused its basic extinction at one point in history. The island has been used as a metaphor by some scientists to show what could happen if the earth’s population doesn’t change its ways, although there are also opponents to this example.

Chile: Pisco Sour

Pisco Sour Cocktail

  • 2 oz Pisco
  • Top with Lemon Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Splash of Egg Whites
  • Dash of Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

If I know Mrs. Sip as well as I think I do, then you can bet we will one day travel to this unique destination. Hopefully they serve drinks in Moai statue-themed glasses and they’re not one of those anti-alcohol locales!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is one of Mrs. Sip’s favourite cocktails, although she enjoyed them in Peru, instead of Chile. It was a first try for me, as I kept saving the cocktail for when this project rolled around. I enjoyed it, but I wonder what the drink would taste like with Lemonade subbed in for the Lemon Juice? I’ll have to give that a try at some point. For those who haven’t yet tried Pisco, it reminds me of Tequila, but it perhaps a little sweeter.

November 12 – Zelda’s Lullaby

Game Shark

A friend recently wrote to me and pointed out a glaring omission from the Sip Advisor library. While I’ve examined movies, spent a fair bit of time on TV, and even dabbled in the dark arts of travel, I have never done any work in the realm of video games. That is to be corrected in a two-part series on my favourite games and series of all-time. This one is for the nerd in all of us!

Legend of Zelda

The trials and tribulations of our hero Link, as he wages war on Ganondorf in an attempt to save Princess Zelda and keep the Tri-Force out of the hands of evil have been one of the greatest video game epics in history. While there have been many iterations of the franchise, my favourite are A Link to the Past (SNES) and Ocarina of Time (N64), perhaps the greatest video game experience I’ve ever had. Sadly, I started to play Twilight Princess (Wii) a couple years ago, but have found myself too busy to go back to the game.

Ocarina of Time

Blades of Steel

This game is so awesome I can’t even begin to describe what Blades of Steel meant to me as a kid. As a young, aspiring hockey star, this was my first chance to ever take to the ice digitally and guide my team to championship glory. The game had it all: goals, saves, fighting, penalty shots, a shootout if overtime was necessary… you get the picture. When I downloaded a Nintendo emulator onto my computer a number of years back, the first title I searched out was Blades of Steel. This time, though, I got to sub beer in place of chocolate milk!

Peggle

This game takes the Japanese gambling parlour tradition of Pachinko and turns it into something both kids and adults can access and enjoy. One thing the gambling powers can’t provide (although Peggle doesn’t allow you to win money!) is characters who each have their own special power when you use them and access their specific skill. Even after beating the normal game, there were tons of challenges to work through and the fun just kept on going.

Super Mario Kart

The original Mario Kart was awesome, but I also thoroughly enjoyed the Wii entry as well, which required you to actually play with a steering wheel. Once you got the motions down, it was an awesome ride which made you feel more involved in the races. My favourite racer was the Koopa Trooper because I like to have a balance of speed and accurate turning. In the Wii game, I usually used my Mii character and I was awesome behind the wheel!

Mario Kart

7 Wonders of the Ancient World

I’m a certified casual games match-three genius. Seriously, if you could go pro playing these games, I’d be the Wayne Gretzky of the genre. 7 Wonders was one of the first releases I picked up and I’m so glad I did. I find games like these keep your brain sharp, which counteracts all the damage I’ve done to the poor thing with drinking! There were two sequels to the original game, each offering a new gameplay style to switch things up.

Rock Band/Guitar Hero

When Mrs. Sip and I first heard about the Guitar Hero and later Rock Band franchises, it spurred us to go out and buy a Playstation 2 (after not owning a video game system for years) and get these musical games. We spent many nights with Mrs. Sip either rocking the guitar or microphone and me slamming away at the drums, usually downing copious amounts of alcohol, just like all of my drumming idols!

cat-plays-rock-band

Mario Party

While I haven’t played every entry in this series (come on, there’s like 10 of them!) I’ve always enjoyed sitting around with a good group and battling it out in all the mini games to see who will obtain virtual board game glory. My win-loss record might not be great in the Mario Party world, but I always have fun regardless and you never really know who will come out ahead in the end thanks to the games “bonus stars” awarded once all the turns have expired.

Grand Theft Auto

I’m a law-abiding citizen… but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun to be a criminal in the fictional world of video games. I played all the GTA games up to San Andreas, with my favourite being the Vice City installment. There was just something so great about stealing cars and performing other underhanded tasks in the Miami beach setting to the greatest (and sometimes lamest) music of the 80’s!

Drink #316: Zelda’s Lullaby

Zelda's Lullaby Cocktail

  • 1.5 oz Chambord
  • 0.75 oz Vodka
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Dash of Egg Whites
  • Garnish with a Lemon Twist

Sip Advisor 3:16 (drink #316) says I just got you drunk! Thanks for letting me borrow your famous line Stone Cold! Look out for part two of my favourite games tomorrow, including wrestling titles.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
Credit for this recipe goes to The Drunken Moogle, which is a great site for video game-themed drinks and other pop culture offerings. I was itching to make this cocktail for Mrs. Sip and the long wait made her enjoyment of the martini all that more amazing. Chambord is one of her favourite liquor ingredients, but that does not make a guaranteed success. Where the drink really works is that all the other ingredients come to play as well… like the flying-V in the Mighty Ducks movies!

October 15 – Subway Rumbles

Transit Troubles

Recently, the Sip Advisor received a little promotion at work (mild-mannered desk jockey by day, notorious boozehound by night), which required the move to a new office. I went from a five-minute walk to work to a half hour transit trip and I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I hate taking public transit with all the other weirdoes (like Mrs. Sip!). These are the things I deplore most about commuting:

Public Transport Complaints

Well, SpongeBob, I’m going to try anyway!

People who don’t clear a path for exiting passengers

I won’t hesitate to throw a shoulder tackle or roaring elbow at anyone, male or female, who blocks my path from exiting a vehicle. I’ve always operated that when you are boarding a vessel, you stand to the side and let people exit before rushing on. That doesn’t seem to happen anymore and I sadly get off at a very busy station when people will feel my wrath.

Cars that fill up and you can’t get out at your stop

As if the tension of exiting a vehicle into a crowd wasn’t bad enough, some days it’s a struggle to even get to the exit at all. People don’t seem to respond to me saying excuse me, which I have to start to do before the train has even come to a full stop. Wading my way through the unintelligent humanity is often difficult and my reward is to be greeted by more as the doors open.

Metrosexual

People who have loud, annoying conversations

Young people today (now that I’ve hit 30 and ‘old age’, I can really bash the younger generations) don’t seem to have a buffer between their brains and their mouths. They’re sharing the intimate details of their life for the world to hear, as they yap loudly into phones and to their travelling buddies. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a little too much information.

People who listen to their music at ear-blistering levels

I hate most people’s choice in music, but if they keep it to themselves, we have no issue. Unfortunately, there are those commuters that think their artist selection abilities are so epicly awesome they feel the need to share their tunes with every single person they encounter. The volume will only go up as they continue to erode their hearing with the horribly brash music.

Public Transport Spooning

People who smell awful

There are some funky-smelling people riding public transport! Luckily I only have to go two stops on my more constricted form of transportation. You can’t really blame someone who’s been out working all day for their body odor, but there are ways of masking that. If you don’t have time to put on some deodorant before rushing home, at least hang a couple air fresheners from yourself.

Delays due to incidents

I have my route to work perfectly timed. Unfortunately, all the nut cases out there in transit land seem to want to work against me and cause issues that delay my trips to the office. Unfortunately, you never really know the status of your commute until you board the system and then, you’re taking your life into your own hands with all the concerns I outlined above.

Drink #288: Subway Rumbles

Subway Rumbles Cocktail

  • 1 oz Scotch (I used Glenfiddich)
  • 1 oz Gin
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Splash of Grenadine
  • Dash of Egg Whites
  • Dash of Peychaud’s Bitters
  • Garnish with Orange Zest

October was a good month to do this post in because public transit can be more nightmarish than a haunted house. Tell me your worst commuter stories below… come on, vent a little!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I was surprised with how much I enjoyed this cocktail. The Scotch adds a strong finish to each sip, but not so strong that you don’t like the drink. The other flavours all come together quite nicely and the drink is neither too bitter nor too sweet. It falls right in the middle for a great recipe.

September 4 – Playmate Martini

Listless

As an internet entrepreneur, I’m always looking to raise my stock and evolve this brand. That can be helped greatly by making one of the popular vote lists that have run amok all over the world. These are the famous, world-recognized lists I hope to make:

Forbes 500

As I continue to grow this little congregating spot for alcoholics and the severely depressed alike, money will surely start rolling in (you know, once I design my line of Little Sipper Wear) and the empire of Sip will begin to take shape. I’d also settle for topping Forbes’ list of Richest Fictional Characters because when you live in a world of fantasy, such as I do, reality dissipates as quick as a frozen cocktail melts.

Scrooge McDuck

Top 30 Under 30

Sadly, I only have a month left to do this, but when there’s a will, there’s a way! I’m sure the maker’s of this list would make a special exemption for the Sip Advisor, should the deadline pass and I have not had the honour bestowed upon myself. I guess I can always regroup and shoot for 40 Under 40, but then things seem to get a little diluted as far as quality goes. Perhaps we should work on a Facebook/Twitter campaign in my honour!

Sexiest Man Alive

I know all you little sippers out there are shocked I haven’t already topped this list, but I’ve been practically black balled by the voters for fear that once I was selected, the list would lose all meaning. While I take issue with their stance, I do understand that chaos would result with my gracing the cover of this prestigious magazine and it wouldn’t be long before we heard the thundering patter of the Four Horsemen in the distance.

sexiest-man-alive

Oprah’s Book Club

It really doesn’t matter what I write, but if I can put together some piece of work that Oprah endorses, I’ll have millions of unhappy housewives around the world eating out of the palm of my hand. It could be a tell-all memoir detailing the sordid life I lead or perhaps I’ll simply compile all the awesome adventures we’ve shared thanks to this site. Either way, I thirst for that stamp of approval!

Playmate of the Month

This is one I’ve worked really hard for. Of course, I would be featured in Playgirl Magazine for all the lonely ladies out there to lust over. My greatest feature is probably my finely-manicured ears, which will surely stand out in any pictorial spread. I’m not even going to be greedy and ask for Playmate of the Year… just throw me a bone and give me one of the 12 months… is that too much to ask!?

Drink #247: Playmate Martini

Playmate Martini

  • 0.5 oz Courvoisier Cognac
  • 0.5 oz Grand Marnier
  • 0.5 oz Apricot Brandy
  • Top with Orange Juice
  • Dash of Egg Whites
  • Dash of Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with Strawberry and Raspberry

Have I missed any lists that are a must to be on? Which lists do you long to be inducted onto? I’ll try my best to make all of our dreams come true!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Egg Whites add a nice foamy layer to the top of the cocktail, which enhances its look and taste. As usual, the Apricot Brandy is delicious and here it is boosted even further by top end liquors Grand Marnier and Courvoisier Cognac.

July 1 – Red Maple Sunset

Welcome to Canada

To celebrate Canada Day (my home and native land) I decided to take a look at the pros and cons of this country’s make-up. Why bother looking at what needs improvement, you ask? Well, I feel we should all be always striving to better ourselves and I expect no less from my country. That, and I’m a massive jerk, who likes to rant about things that displease me. On with the ranting!

Pro: Hockey

If you are ever in need of defining what an athlete should be, look no further than a hockey player, preferably of the Canadian variety. There, you will see true glimpses of sportsmanship, humbleness, work ethic, ruggedness, and manliocity. Think of icons like Steve Yzerman, Joe Sakic, Gordie Howe, and ‘The Great One’ Wayne Gretzky.

Hockey Players

Con: Expensive Alcohol

Do you know how much easier this 365-day liquor challenge would be if I lived in almost any other country, rather than Canada. Even Canadian manufactured products are ridiculously priced. Whenever Mrs. Sip and I travel south of the border, we make sure to grab a ton of booze because it is just so much more reasonably priced. Sadly, we have limits on what we can bring back and as a law-abiding citizen, I actually follow these allotments… for the most part!

Pro: Good People

Canada has a reputation for its citizens being overly nice and helpful population. This standing is well-earned and as a fictional leader of this great land, I must say that I’m proud of our people and the work we all do to not only make our home a better place, but to welcome strangers from foreign lands.

Con: No Dill Pickle Round Slices

There are a lot of products that I can’t find in Canada, that are available south of the border (in fact, I wrote an entire article about this phenomenon). But one that absolutely flummoxes me is the absence of dill pickles in round slices. If it can be done for sweet pickles, why not dill? Clearly dill pickles can be sliced, but all I ever see is the elongated variety. It has driven me to become an ex-pat of this great nation and must be rectified.

Pro: Beautiful Women

I can say with full conviction that Canada has to have the most beautiful women in the universe. A long walk on a glorious summer day – with dark shades fully ensconced on my noggin’ – is an absolute treat with all the eye candy available to every red-blooded male. Sadly, that beauty gets hidden away during the cold winter months, when everyone is bundling up in toques, scarfs, and jackets, but it’s all worth it again on that first patio-suitable day of spring.

Canada Women

Con: Inclement Weather

As mentioned above, it can get cold and nasty during the winter, up here in the Great White North. Even here in Vancouver, where we have much more mild temperatures, we live in an urban rainforest where we get drenched by buckets of cold  rain every year. I know we’re not alone in the not-so-nice weather department, but that doesn’t mean I can’t bitch about it. On the bright side, if you like to ski (or just enjoy watching snow bunnies), we’ve got you covered!

Pro: Strip Clubs with Alcohol

Imagine my shock when my crew saddled up to a strip club in Seattle, Washington for my stag last year and were told that we had a choice: either see naked ladies or keep drinking. Before my friends could answer, I’d already left the lobby, en route to the next liquor establishment. Truth be told, I’m not a strip club regular, but if I do go, I want to be able to have an overpriced brew or cocktail while a young lady makes love to a pole!

Con: No Singles ($1 bills)

How are you supposed to get your money’s worth at the strip club!? The smallest denomination you can tuck into a dancer’s G-string is a fiver. That means you can go through a lot of money in very little time. And don’t even think about making it rain. A small wad of fives, tens, and twenties will pale in comparison to a massive wad of American ones. I guess you could take a jar full of loonies and toonies and toss it into the air and do some serious damage!

Drink #182: Red Maple Sunset

Red Maple Sunset Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Campari
  • 1 oz Maple Syrup
  • Top with Lemon Juice
  • Splash of Egg Whites
  • Garnish with Canadian Flag

So, happy birthday Canada! I hope you get all the gifts you’ve wanted and that your next year is as fabulous as the last!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This was my first opportunity to play around with not only Campari, but also Maple Syrup. The drink was a nice mix of sweet and bitter, as the Campari has a fruity taste, with a bitter finish. The Maple Syrup actually worked well with the cocktail, which was a pleasant surprise given it’s a bit of an odd ingredient.

February 5 – Tequila Fizz

Party People

The Tequila Fizz seems like a fun drink to have at a shindig. That said, do you want to play a game (in my best Jigsaw voice)? Okay, you’re planning an epic night of boozing. You can invite anyone in the universe… who would be on your guest list? Here’s who would be receiving a save-the-date from The Sip Advisor!

Andre the Giant

The drinking exploits of this 7’5″, 500-pound badass are legendary. The “8th Wonder of the World” could drink anyone under the table, so unless you are one part Irish, one part German, and two parts tree shrew, don’t even bother challenging him. He had been known to drink 156 beers in one sitting and 16 bottles of wine before wrestling three matches without showing signs of inebriation. With every group, it’s always good to have an intimidating force to back up the boys who may step out of line and cause some trouble. Andre would be that force and these next guys would be causing the mayhem…

Andre the Giant

That’s Andre’s hand wrapped around a beer can!

The Jackass Gang

You’d likely end up with some bumps and bruises, but you’d sure have a lot of fun in the process. Johnny Knoxville and company are the kings of getting into sticky situations. Thankfully, for their own wellbeing, a lot of these guys have taking the effort to sober up in recent years. That may mean a little less craziness, but these guys toned down are like normal people going on a bender.

John ‘Bluto’ Blutarsky

Bluto was like a one-man wrecking ball, destroying everything in his path. Of course, his best scene in Animal House is the cafeteria food fight, which begins with him loading up his plate with a mess of different items. This was all improv by Belushi and is a classic film moment. It is on my bucket list to be involved in a food fight and Bluto might be the man to facilitate that.

John-Bluto-Blutarsky

Slimer

He may not look like much, but Slimer is a good dude, with a heart of gold. Slimer would be junior vice-president of snacks and as long as he kept the unit’s supply of licorice, sour crème and onion chips, chocolate-covered peanuts and raisins and cookies well-stocked, he’d get top marks in my book. It’s been pointed out to me that Slimer might eat all our snacks, himself, but I trust the green glob.

Harry T. Stone

The jokester judge would be fun to have along for the ride and it might not be a bad idea to have a man of the court in our back pocket given the collection of rascals I’m assembling.

The Electric Mayhem

Who wouldn’t want to invite friends to a party who would jam to some awesome tunes, bring with them the rock n’ roll lifestyle, yet are soft as sock puppets? Anywhere we travelled, these guys could set their stuff up, play a few numbers and earn the crew some free drinks… maybe even some Muppet strange (they must have groupies, right!?). The best part is that we’d always have good music while we were partying to excess.

Electric Mayhem

Hamburglar

Anyone who has a penchant for stealing burgers is on my A-list. Although, he did get caught a lot and his communication skills don’t seem very adequate. Perhaps will leave him in the car with the next member of our soiree…

Lindsay Lohan

Lastly, Li-Lo gets an e-vite, but only as the groups designated driver, of course!

Drink #36: Tequila Fizz

Tequila Fizz Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Tequila
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Splash of Grenadine
  • Dash of Egg Whites
  • Top with Cranberry Ginger Ale

Mix all the ingredients, except the ginger ale, together in a shaker, pour into a Collins glass and then top with the pop. Who would you party with if you could choose anyone in the world? Let me know and maybe your clique can have a dance-off with me and the rest of The Revolution!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
It’s funny how much foam the Egg White created in this cocktail. Not a bad recipe here, but I’d love to try it without the Grenadine, which I feel can bog down some drinks.

January 14 – Spiced Sour

Evolution

Evolution-Alcohol

One of my favourite elements of mixology is trying new liquors and mixers and seeing how different things come together in look and taste. I love how innovative some companies are becoming, as they release different flavours and adaptations of their normal products.

There are a ton of flavoured vodkas and rums out there. Vodka companies like Van Gogh and Pinnacle seem to be bringing out new flavours on a regular basis, while Stoli and Smirnoff can be counted on for the more traditional tastes like various berry and citrus brands. Bacardi and Captain Morgan have this variety covered in the rum world. Whiskey and tequila companies seem to be getting on board with this concept as well and over the last few years, we’ve seen a number of innovative products hit the market.

Some of the more interesting flavours I’ve seen out there, that I’d like to try, include:

Three Olives Loopy (Froot Loops-flavoured vodka) – It’s very important to start your day off on the right note with a balanced breakfast. I bet Toucan Sam never smelled this one coming!

Loopy

Van Gogh Peanut Butter & Jelly Vodka – Why not drink my favourite sandwich (and I make a mean PB&J).

PB&J

Bakon Vodka – I’m a huge bacon fan and can’t wait to sample this sometime, although it’s a bit pricey. If they ever create a pulled pork vodka, I’ll be first in line!

bakon-vodka

360 Glazed Donut Vodka – With the Froot Loops, PB&J, bacon and now donut flavours, you have breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert, respectively, all covered.

360-Glazed-Donut-Vodka

Malibu Red (coconut rum mixed with tequila) – I’m really curious about this liquor. The coconut and tequila blend might be really nice and a unique twist for some new cocktails.

malibu-red

Malibu Fresh (coconut rum mixed with mint) – Like Malibu Red, I have to give this a try before judging, but at first glance, I just can’t see coconut and mint coming together well… or maybe I can.

CORBY DISTILLERIES LIMITED - Malibu® Coconut Rum

Crown Royal Maple – I fully intend to pour this on waffles and pancakes. I love Crown Royal and trust that they know what they’re doing.

crown-royal-maple

With all that said, I recently picked up a bottle of Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey. I was excited to try this because I love spiced rum (particularly Sailor Jerry’s) and I love whiskey. Put the two together and you should be on the right track. The Wiser’s did not disappoint and came with a little card advertising a few recipes to try with the new release. One of those was the Spiced Sour, an adaptation of the Whiskey Sour, one of my all-time faves.

Drink #14: Spiced Sour

Spiced Sour Cocktail

  • 2 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
  • 1.5 oz lemon juice
  • 1 oz simple syrup
  • Dash of egg whites
  • Garnish with lemon wedge and Maraschino cherry

I have to admit that I didn’t even realize until this post was almost complete that I forgot the egg whites. Usually you shake all the ingredients together and strain. The egg whites leave a foamy layer at the top of the drink. All the recipes I was looking at skip this step of the process, but I’ve made enough whiskey sours in my time that I should know better. I apologize to all the little Sip-A-Maniacs out there. I am, of course, open to better names for fans of this blog…

Do you have other examples of liquor-flavour evolution that you’d like to pass on to me? That would be greatly appreciated. My thanks, in advance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m such a maroon. After making the drink, taking the required photos and downing that bad boy, I realized that I had neglected to include the frothy egg whites in the concoction. Well, dock the Sip Advisor a couple points on your score card. The drink is very heavy in lemon flavour, which sometimes I find to be too much. Otherwise, it’s a recommendable cocktail.