Mixer Mania #29 – Shell Game

Over the years, the Sip Advisor has drank beverages from a wide array of chalices. As we feature Coconut Water this week, I thought it would be fun to look back at some of the devices used to serve me a drink:

Coconut

There’s nothing like drinking basically straight rum out of a coconut, as we did in Belize. We later saw the same vendor hurriedly approaching us with a large knife. Had we not paid the fair rate? Was he after more of our tourist dollars? Nah, he just wanted to cut the coconut up for us to eat the meat inside… crisis averted!

Beer Bong

While chugging a beer is not my favourite thing to do, in some party settings, it is the right thing to do! A friend of ours used to have a skeleton beer bong, nicknamed Skeletor, which always made things festive fast. All you need was someone tall enough to hold the pouring end.

Beer Bong Kid

Marshmallow

During the first year of this website’s existence, I was tasked with creating a different cocktail or shot, every day for the entire year. Getting created, I decided to serve one shooter from a hollowed marshmallow. The shot did have to be consumed quickly, though, as the marshmallow was quick to leak.

Strawberry

Another Sip Advisor project had me using a strawberry as a side shooter to the cocktail I had made. You had to be very careful to cut the piece of fruit just right, but it did hold its liquor better than the fibrous marshmallow.

Glass Boot

Swakopmund, Namibia is an area of Southwest Africa that was a former German colony and therefore has many features of a Bavarian town. Here, I ordered a boot of beer, which held more than two pints worth of ale. I didn’t think much of it, being the brew hound that I am, but the rest of the tour group all wanted photos holding the massive serving.

Boot of Beer

Plastic Football

Las Vegas is home to some of the most unusual souvenir glasses I’ve ever seen, from guitars to the Statue of Liberty. On one trip to Sin City, I picked up a plastic football sipper, which we were later able to use for a drunken pick-up game.

Fishbowl

Sticking with Las Vegas, when we were there to celebrate Broski Sip’s 21st birthday a decade ago, Mrs. Sip, Cousin Sip and I joined him in drinking a massive cocktail blend served in a large bowl. This took place at Kahunaville inside Treasure Island, which unfortunately doesn’t exist any longer.

Fishbowl Drinking

Watermelon

On a camping trip a few years ago, our group made holes in a watermelon and inserted bottles of vodka into those openings. The result was a heavily-boozed up melon. The fruit was so liquefied, in fact, that it was like eating a drinking a mushy soup.

Team Pitcher

During my days living in Toronto, our school crew would frequent the Fox & Fiddle Pub near campus, often on their karaoke nights. There, we would sit down to what they called Team Pitchers, which were the equivalent to at least two normal pitchers and even came with a contraption to keep the suds cool.

Mixer Mania #29: Blue on Blue

Blue on Blue.JPG

  • 1.5 oz Vodka
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Coconut Water
  • Splash of Cranberry Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Garnish with Blueberries

If I had to add anything to my drinking bucket list, it would be to enjoy a beverage from the Stanley Cup. Now all I have to do is find a way to get my hands on the hardest trophy to win in sports!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This recipe comes courtesy of the Absolut Vodka website, which has always maintained an eclectic cocktail collection. I’ve never been much of a fan of Coconut Water, but this drink is actually decent. I’ll give credit to the Cranberry Juice, of course!

Mixer Mania #21 – The Thirst Quencher

Today’s feature mixer is Gatorade, which may be best known for its use in pro sports. The drink isn’t only meant for consumption, though, and has become a part of team celebrations. Here are some interesting facts about the Gatorade Shower:

A Ritual is Born

This odd sports tradition was started innocently enough when Jim Burt of the New York Giants drenched head coach Bill Parcells with a cooler of the drink following the team’s victory over the Washington Redskins on October 28, 1984. Apparently, the shower was the result of Burt feeling he was mistreated by Parcells during the previous week. The following season, Parcells was cascaded with Gatorade 17 times, en route to the 1986 Super Bowl Championship.

Gatorade with Gators

Giving Credit

The practice of the Gatorade Shower is often mistakenly credited to Dan Hampton of the Chicago Bears, probably because he claims to have invented the exercise. Unfortunately for Hampton, his first recorded washing of coach Mike Ditka occurred about a month after the Burt-Parcells occasion.

Jumping Leagues

Doc Rivers of the Boston Celtics was reportedly the first NBA coach to receive a Gatorade shower, following the team’s 2008 NBA Championship. I can only imagine the hazard this created on the hardwood surface of the basketball court.

Odds Maker

One of the bets people can put their money on during the Super Bowl has to do with what colour the Gatorade will be when it’s splashed onto the winning coach. Even the curmudgeonly Bill Belichick has received colourful sports drink drenchings in the past.

Gatorade Commercial

Killer

Would you believe that the custom has actually contributed to a death? At the age of 68, Pro Football Hall of Fame coach George Allen was dunked by his Long Beach State players and weeks later died of pneumonia. Sure, there could have been other contributing factors, but one has to wonder if the icy beverage simply claimed its first victim.

Too Soon

In 2002, Kentucky coach Guy Morriss was doused by his team with mere seconds remaining on the score clock. Unfortunately, this occurred as their opponents, Louisiana State, threw a Hail Mary pass that after pinballing around a little, was hauled in for a touchdown and an LSU 33-30 victory. The incident is known as the Bluegrass Miracle.

Things to Come

One could argue that the Gatorade Shower was a precursor to the Ice Bucket Challenge, which had folks dousing themselves with buckets of icy water during the summer of 2014, hoping to raise money for ALS research. I still wish I’d had the chance to nominate Mrs. Sip for a dunking.

Mixer Mania #21: Southern Rain

Southern Rain.JPG

  • 1.5 oz Southern Comfort
  • Top with Gatorade
  • Garnish with a Strawberry

Despite the Sip Advisor’s massive popularity, it looks like my skills don’t translate to any team sports and therefore I’ll likely never be on the receiving end of a Gatorade Shower. I can still dream, though!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I picked up this variation of Gatorade (Summit Storm) because the colour was so unique. Unfortunately, that didn’t translate to this cocktail and may work better with clear spirits. As for taste, the Gatorade is light, but works well with the Southern Comfort.

Snack Time #16 – M&M’s Strawberry Nut

M&Ms are very good at routinely releasing different limited edition flavours and for the most part they pass the taste test. Mrs. Sip spotted this variation while we were recently in Las Vegas and I’m so glad she did.

The Strawberry Nut variety is delicious. The key is that the strawberry flavour is kept light and then you have the usual peanut and chocolate enjoyment that is typical from M&M’s Peanut products. The strawberry adds a touch of decadence.

M&M's Strawberry Nut.jpg

Coming in red, pink and green candy-coated shells, it’s taken great willpower for me to ration the little treats. I don’t know whether they’re available outside the US and how long they will remain on store shelves before disappearing.

This isn’t M&M’s first foray into strawberry fields (forever), as the company has also released Strawberry Shortcake, Strawberried Peanut Butter and plain ol’ Strawberry recipes. Keep em’ coming, guys!

For more Snack Time articles, please visit our main page…

Flavour Revolution – Strawberry

Decreased Desires

Nothing beats a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries to celebrate a romantic occasion. There’s also a tradition in France of giving strawberries and cream to newly married couples, as an aphrodisiac. Normally, in this case, we’d take a look at aphrodisiacs out there, but I’ve already written an article on that subject. Therefore, we’re going to flip the script and look at the aphrodisiac’s lesser known (and lesser liked) sibling, the anaphrodisiac… translation: things that will kill your mojo!

Graham Crackers – I’ve mentioned in a previous article how Graham crackers were invented by Sylvester Graham, a Presbyterian minister, who believed that the crackers would suppress sexual urges. Then, some genius got the great idea to throw marshmallows and chocolate on top, funkifying them into smores and the rest of campfire loving is history!

Teddy Grahams

Hops – Bad news for IPA beer fans… although I have my doubts about this one, as I know a lot of beer drinkers that don’t really lose their sexual charge after drinking all night. That said, all alcohol can decrease one’s desires, just based on the drug being a depressant. Why hops, in particular, gets such a bad rap is beyond me.

Corn Flakes – If I was to choose a cereal to get down with, it would probably be something along the lines of Cookie Crisp or Count Chocula. Corn Flakes were invented by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg to suppress libido. The good doctor believed that flavourful food led to flamed loins and so he created an incredibly boring product. They should try using this in their advertising material today. That would work real well.

Soy – Used by monks to suppress their naughty feelings – probably a good thing, given their surrounded by only other monks – soy, in large quantities, is said to kill one’s sex drive. I do like using soy in cooking stirfrys and as a sauce for various dishes, but I may have to be cautious with it now. I mean, who wants a sushi outing to not eventually lead to carnal pleasures!

soy-milk

Mint – What’s funny here, is that mints are meant to lead to sexual attraction (or so the ads tell us), as fresh breath is the starting point to any close encounter. Menthol, however, has actually been proven to lower testosterone. Bad breath, it is!

Cilantro – I’ve never been a huge fan of cilantro – if it’s in a dish, fine, but I’m not going to necessarily search it out – and apparently that’s a good thing. It’s ironic that cilantro is used in many exotic dishes and those are the ones the likes of Dr. Kellogg and Minister Graham believed led to unsavoury desires.

Black Licorice – I don’t want to sound like a candy racist, but why do all the worst candies come in the colour black? I’m talking jujubes, jelly beans, licorice, etc. I’ve never been a fan of black licorice, but do like the red variety. I’m just going to pretend that red licorice is a completely separate strain of the plant and is therefore not exempt from the Sip Advisor’s snack drawer.

blacklicorice

Granola – Today’s modern day granola bars, with their phallic shape (don’t forget the optional chocolate covering!), should be changing the way we view granola, but their original intention was much like Corn Flakes and Graham Crackers, meant to keep thoughts pure and wholesome. Then they started adding all the different flavours to the bars and even the cereal and all hell broke loose!

Cheese – I include this one only as a way to shame Mrs. Sip and all her cheese-loving friends. Yes, the Sip Advisor has begun to dabble in some cheese arts, but nowhere near to the degree as my peers. And that’s why the Sip Advisor is the world’s greatest lover… voted this for many consecutive years in popular surveys. It’s all because of the anti-cheese movement, my little sippers.

Flavour Revolution: Thigh High

Thigh High Martini

There’s even a program out there, looking to help folks reduce their sex drive. These monsters believe that they will help users have deeper relationships and a clearer mind. Where’s the joy in all of that!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
There are Strawberry Liqueur recipes called Chocolate-Covered Strawberry and Aphrodisiac, but those seemed too easy to use in this post. Therefore, I chose a drink that gets the Sip Advisor’s mojo rising! This martini was a little sweeter than either Mrs. Sip or me would prefer, but it was very tasty and would be perfect as a dessert cocktail and for those in your life that enjoy the sweeter things in life!

September 27 – No Clue

Question Master

The Sip Advisor is one of the world’s greatest philosophers. I spend hours each day pondering questions that need to be answered. One of the great issues I’ve been wrestling with for a while now is why do movie theatres not sell potato chips? Like the title of today’s feature drink, I just have no clue!

potato-chips-funny-quotes

I believe popcorn to be an inferior product. Getting kernels stuck in my teeth, gums, and throat are completely unpleasant experiences. As Mrs. Sip purchased her usual order of popcorn (with Junior Caramels hidden in her purse to be added) and asked if I wanted anything, I ruffled my brow and contemplated my options.

Should I ask for an expensive chocolate bar or bag of candy? What about a burger, hot dog, or pizza? No, I want potato chips. That would really hit the spot right now.

Except, there are no potato chips to be found at the theatre.

Perhaps theatre operators believe the consumption of chips will be too loud… but eating popcorn isn’t a quiet activity and most locations do sell nacho chips (with that gross, but for some reason tempting cheese sauce).

popcorntub

No, I think what’s going on here is that the popcorn lobbyists know the second chips become available within the hallowed halls of the movie theatre, their business will completely dry up and disappear. This could send the world into some sort of recession, but we can thank the noble potato farmer for pulling the entire world onto its back and out of despair.

Popcorn is relatively cheap to produce and can be marked up extremely (not that theatres instinctively mark up their products!) for a higher profit margin. Money, the root of all popcorn evil!

Upon further examination, I couldn’t find any explanation as to why chips were barred from theatres, but I found an interesting post on a travel site (one which I refuse to mention by name because they ripped off this site’s moniker!) where patrons complained about chips (or crisps as they are known in the U.K.) being sold at productions of The Phantom of the Opera, in London.

If glorious chippies can be consumed in a setting with live actors… thespians, even… why can they not be enjoyed in a movie theatre?

And consider this dismaying fact: a large-sized bag of popcorn (unbuttered!) at the theatre contains the fat content of two Big Mac burgers! Those chips, deep-fried or otherwise don’t look so bad now, do they?

Drink #270: No Clue

Sept 27

  • 2 oz Vodka
  • 1.5 oz Triple Sec
  • Top with Dr. Pepper
  • Garnish with Strawberry

I’m imposing a boycott on movie theatres until my precious potato chips are desegregated from the snack population. Until then, I will happily crunch away on the glorious treat, in the comfort of my own home. And so begins the standoff!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I love drinks with Dr. Pepper and this recipe was no different. Triple Sec was a nice compliment to the cherry-flavoured soda. I used an upside down Strawberry to garnish the drink, as I thought it kind of looked like a dunce hat.

September 4 – Playmate Martini

Listless

As an internet entrepreneur, I’m always looking to raise my stock and evolve this brand. That can be helped greatly by making one of the popular vote lists that have run amok all over the world. These are the famous, world-recognized lists I hope to make:

Forbes 500

As I continue to grow this little congregating spot for alcoholics and the severely depressed alike, money will surely start rolling in (you know, once I design my line of Little Sipper Wear) and the empire of Sip will begin to take shape. I’d also settle for topping Forbes’ list of Richest Fictional Characters because when you live in a world of fantasy, such as I do, reality dissipates as quick as a frozen cocktail melts.

Scrooge McDuck

Top 30 Under 30

Sadly, I only have a month left to do this, but when there’s a will, there’s a way! I’m sure the maker’s of this list would make a special exemption for the Sip Advisor, should the deadline pass and I have not had the honour bestowed upon myself. I guess I can always regroup and shoot for 40 Under 40, but then things seem to get a little diluted as far as quality goes. Perhaps we should work on a Facebook/Twitter campaign in my honour!

Sexiest Man Alive

I know all you little sippers out there are shocked I haven’t already topped this list, but I’ve been practically black balled by the voters for fear that once I was selected, the list would lose all meaning. While I take issue with their stance, I do understand that chaos would result with my gracing the cover of this prestigious magazine and it wouldn’t be long before we heard the thundering patter of the Four Horsemen in the distance.

sexiest-man-alive

Oprah’s Book Club

It really doesn’t matter what I write, but if I can put together some piece of work that Oprah endorses, I’ll have millions of unhappy housewives around the world eating out of the palm of my hand. It could be a tell-all memoir detailing the sordid life I lead or perhaps I’ll simply compile all the awesome adventures we’ve shared thanks to this site. Either way, I thirst for that stamp of approval!

Playmate of the Month

This is one I’ve worked really hard for. Of course, I would be featured in Playgirl Magazine for all the lonely ladies out there to lust over. My greatest feature is probably my finely-manicured ears, which will surely stand out in any pictorial spread. I’m not even going to be greedy and ask for Playmate of the Year… just throw me a bone and give me one of the 12 months… is that too much to ask!?

Drink #247: Playmate Martini

Playmate Martini

  • 0.5 oz Courvoisier Cognac
  • 0.5 oz Grand Marnier
  • 0.5 oz Apricot Brandy
  • Top with Orange Juice
  • Dash of Egg Whites
  • Dash of Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with Strawberry and Raspberry

Have I missed any lists that are a must to be on? Which lists do you long to be inducted onto? I’ll try my best to make all of our dreams come true!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Egg Whites add a nice foamy layer to the top of the cocktail, which enhances its look and taste. As usual, the Apricot Brandy is delicious and here it is boosted even further by top end liquors Grand Marnier and Courvoisier Cognac.

June 9 – Sangria

Wine Time

Well, Wine Cocktail Week is finally here. I’m far from a wine connoisseur, but I’m willing to try some new recipes and see what the results are, which I’m pretty sure is how wine was invented in the first place. If I mess anything up in today’s lesson, don’t go all wine snobby on me. I accept you for your many faults, and you should forgive me for the one or two mistakes I make on a yearly basis. Capiche! On with the lesson:

wine-how-classy-people-get-wasted-funny-poster

There are thousands of different types of wine, made up of hundreds of different grape combos. Some of the most popular wine varieties include: Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Pinot Gris/Grigio, Riesling, Gewürztraminer, Zinfandel, Pinot Noir, Syrah, Shiraz, Merlot, and Cabernet Sauvignon. My personal favourite wine is Francis Coppola’s Diamond Collection, Emerald Label Pinot Grigio. Damn, son, that’s a mouthful!

The Top 10 wine producing countries are: France, Italy, Spain, the United States, Argentina, China, Australia, South Africa, Germany, and Portugal. I have to say that I’m a little surprised Canada has yet to crack this list given we have a number of wonderful wine regions. Oh well, something to aim for in the future.

Despite tradition, the screw cap method of opening a bottle of vino is quickly replacing corked tops, thanks to the ease and simplicity of which a bottle can be opened. I can’t count how many times Mrs. Sip and I have been stuck on vacation without our trusty bottle opener, leaving us in a lurch when trying to crack open some wine. Perhaps Ma and Pa Sip have the right idea with boxed wine? Easy to open and a lot more alcohol to share!

funny-wine1

Wine is one of the healthier libation options, as it contains fewer calories than beer and is fat- and cholesterol-free. A glass a day (or more) will keep the doctor away… or at least we all hope!

Contrary to popular belief, many wines should be enjoyed within a year of being bottled and not left to “age”. If you are looking for a good wine to age, ask an expert. In an interesting contrast, as white wines sit, they gain colour, while their red counterparts lose colour the longer they wait to be served.

A number of celebrities have invested their money into the wine industry, including aforementioned film producer Francis Coppola; musicians Bob Dylan, Madonna, and Sting; hockey superstar Wayne Gretzky; race car driver Jeff Gordon; screen stars Raymond Burr, Dan Aykroyd, Emilio Estevez, Drew Barrymore, and Antonio Banderas; theme park heir Diane Disney; and golfers Arnold Palmer, Ernie Els, and Mike Weir.

Perhaps Zach Galifianakis will be the next celeb to invest in a winery!?

Perhaps comedian Zach Galifianakis will be the next celeb to invest in a winery!?

Now to the mathematics portion of the post… here are important grape-to-wine measurement ratios to remember: one grape cluster (75 grapes) equals one glass of wine. Four clusters equal one bottle of wine. 40 clusters of grapes equals one vine, which makes up 10 bottles. 1,200 clusters (30 vines) equals one barrel, which equals 60 gallons, which equals 25 cases of wine. 400 vines equals one acre of land, which equals five tons of grapes, resulting in 332 cases of sweet lady liquor. And you didn’t even need a calculator! If you find that math too confusing, just remember $10 equals one bottle of decent California or Okanagan wine, and what numbers do we really otherwise need?

When describing the smell of a wine, you have to be careful with which words to use, otherwise you could look like a buffoon. Bouquet refers to the total scent of the wine, while aroma is meant for the grapes. If you wish to combine both the bouquet and aroma, you would call that the nose. This is starting to make my head spin and we haven’t even begun to drink yet. Let’s get on with it then.

Drink #160: Sangria

Sangria

  • Sliced Strawberries, Orange, Lemon, Lime, and Raspberries
  • 1.5 Litres Red Wine (I used Peller Estates Merlot)
  • ½ Cup Triple Sec
  • Top each drink with Lemon-Lime or Club Soda
  • Garnish with Fruit from Pitcher and Wine Charm

Now you’re ready to open up your own winery. All you need is a cool name. I’d call my own winery Siparellio, giving it a hint of Italian heritage, while having absolutely none at all. Salute!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoy my and Mrs. Sip’s homemade Sangria (no dirty thoughts, fellas)! I’m not even a big wine fan, but with all the fruit we put in and when we top it all off with some Lemon-Lime Soda, you can’t go wrong with this very refreshing, perfect for summer treat!