Mixer Mania #29 – Shell Game

Over the years, the Sip Advisor has drank beverages from a wide array of chalices. As we feature Coconut Water this week, I thought it would be fun to look back at some of the devices used to serve me a drink:

Coconut

There’s nothing like drinking basically straight rum out of a coconut, as we did in Belize. We later saw the same vendor hurriedly approaching us with a large knife. Had we not paid the fair rate? Was he after more of our tourist dollars? Nah, he just wanted to cut the coconut up for us to eat the meat inside… crisis averted!

Beer Bong

While chugging a beer is not my favourite thing to do, in some party settings, it is the right thing to do! A friend of ours used to have a skeleton beer bong, nicknamed Skeletor, which always made things festive fast. All you need was someone tall enough to hold the pouring end.

Beer Bong Kid

Marshmallow

During the first year of this website’s existence, I was tasked with creating a different cocktail or shot, every day for the entire year. Getting created, I decided to serve one shooter from a hollowed marshmallow. The shot did have to be consumed quickly, though, as the marshmallow was quick to leak.

Strawberry

Another Sip Advisor project had me using a strawberry as a side shooter to the cocktail I had made. You had to be very careful to cut the piece of fruit just right, but it did hold its liquor better than the fibrous marshmallow.

Glass Boot

Swakopmund, Namibia is an area of Southwest Africa that was a former German colony and therefore has many features of a Bavarian town. Here, I ordered a boot of beer, which held more than two pints worth of ale. I didn’t think much of it, being the brew hound that I am, but the rest of the tour group all wanted photos holding the massive serving.

Boot of Beer

Plastic Football

Las Vegas is home to some of the most unusual souvenir glasses I’ve ever seen, from guitars to the Statue of Liberty. On one trip to Sin City, I picked up a plastic football sipper, which we were later able to use for a drunken pick-up game.

Fishbowl

Sticking with Las Vegas, when we were there to celebrate Broski Sip’s 21st birthday a decade ago, Mrs. Sip, Cousin Sip and I joined him in drinking a massive cocktail blend served in a large bowl. This took place at Kahunaville inside Treasure Island, which unfortunately doesn’t exist any longer.

Fishbowl Drinking

Watermelon

On a camping trip a few years ago, our group made holes in a watermelon and inserted bottles of vodka into those openings. The result was a heavily-boozed up melon. The fruit was so liquefied, in fact, that it was like eating a drinking a mushy soup.

Team Pitcher

During my days living in Toronto, our school crew would frequent the Fox & Fiddle Pub near campus, often on their karaoke nights. There, we would sit down to what they called Team Pitchers, which were the equivalent to at least two normal pitchers and even came with a contraption to keep the suds cool.

Mixer Mania #29: Blue on Blue

Blue on Blue.JPG

  • 1.5 oz Vodka
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Coconut Water
  • Splash of Cranberry Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Garnish with Blueberries

If I had to add anything to my drinking bucket list, it would be to enjoy a beverage from the Stanley Cup. Now all I have to do is find a way to get my hands on the hardest trophy to win in sports!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This recipe comes courtesy of the Absolut Vodka website, which has always maintained an eclectic cocktail collection. I’ve never been much of a fan of Coconut Water, but this drink is actually decent. I’ll give credit to the Cranberry Juice, of course!

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Flavour Revolution – Blueberry

Where is my Mind?

Blueberries are said to help greatly in maintaining cognitive functioning and fighting off memory loss – so long as you enjoy a serving of them once per week – as the berries clear toxins that gather in the brain. Clearly, the entertainment industry is unaware of these developments because it is rife with stories of amnesiacs. Here are some of the most notable memory loss cases:

Jason Bourne – The Bourne Franchise

If a case of amnesia resulted in the Sip Advisor being able to instinctively fight secret agent style and have a highly-functioning mind, I’d say it would all be worth it… I know Mrs. Sip would appreciate the change in brain activity! Jason Bourne awakens one day and can’t remember who he is, but he can certainly kick ass and that keeps him alive through three (soon to be four) films.

short term memory loss

Leonard – Memento

Although suffering from short-term memory loss, Leonard is still working to solve the murder of his wife. To remember the clues he’s put together, Leonard uses Polaroid photos and self-inflicted tattoos as reminders. I should do the same on binge nights! This psychological crime thriller is told in reverse order, which only adds to the building mystery.

Wolverine – X-Men Franchise

Following the procedure which gave him his trademark adamantium bone structure, Logan struggles to remember his past (in the origins movie, an adamantium bullet to the noggin also helps) and it takes the mind reading power of Professor X to make any headway into the mutant’s psyche. We all have events we’d like to block from our memory, but I’d rather have a mix of good and bad than none at all.

Lucy Whitmore – 50 First Dates

Can you imagine having to remind your partner each and every day about your shared past together? Thankfully, Mrs. Sip only has to do this for me after a hard drinking night. In this case, perhaps it was working with Adam Sandler again that drove Drew Barrymore to memory loss. Anyhoo, Lucy is helped along by Sandler’s Henry to break the pattern and live a happily ever after, each new day.

memory loss favourite movie

Joel Barish and Clementine Kruczynski – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

This one is a little different, in that main characters Joel and Clementine choose to wipe their minds clear of any memories to do with each other after their relationship goes awry. Regardless of this, they wind up together again, as if their love was always meant to be. Jim Carrey must be the king of playing amnesiacs, having also tackled the role in The Majestic and The Number 23.

Dory – Finding Nemo

Played for comedic effect, Dory is one of the many characters father Marlin comes across in his search for his son Nemo. Dory proved to be such a popular character that the pacific regal blue tang (thanks to Wikipedia for that!) will be getting her own movie, Finding Dory, due out in 2016. Ironically, the movie will be centered on Dory getting her memories back, leading to another adventure.

amnesia joke

The Wolfpack – The Hangover

The one thing worse than one person not being able to remember what happened before, is three friends blanking out on the previous night’s activities. Thanks to being slipped roofies, the Wolfpack can’t figure out what trouble they got up to and worst of all, their buddy Doug is missing and his wedding day is coming up quickly.

Douglas Quaid – Total Recall

Mrs. Sip and I love to travel, but I’m not sure we’d be into futuristic travel methods which include having images placed in your mind, while you sit in a chair. Of course, an innocent visual journey to the planet Mars, helps Quaid realize that he’s actually a secret agent operative, with crazy fighting skills. Quaid (aka Carl Hauser) now has to go to the real Mars, to figure out why his memory was wiped.

Flavour Revolution: Lucifer’s Tears

  • 1.5 oz Gin
  • 0.5 oz Blueberry Liqueur
  • 0.25 oz Galliano
  • 0.25 oz Sambuca
  • Garnish with Blueberries

Soap Operas are also a prime breeding ground for cases of amnesia, either occurring after a death, or leading to a murder most foul!

October 10 – Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Cocktail Creations

There are some pretty interesting fictional cocktails out their in media land. I vow to try each and every one of them eventually. Here’s what made it to the top of the wishlist!

Flaming Homer/Moe – The Simpsons

When Homer Simpson is stuck at home with his terrible step-sisters and not a drop of beer to be found, he panics and puts together a cocktail made of all the booze he has left, accidentally adding some children’s cough medicine to the mix. Ash from one of his step-sister’s cigarettes lights the concoction on fire and makes it taste amazing. When Homer shares the recipe with bartender Moe Szyslak, Moe steals the drink and markets it as a Flaming Moe, gaining fame and fortune until Homer reveals the secret ingredient as revenge.

Flaming-Moe

The Flaming Moe is actually served at Universal Studios: Florida… another reason to go back to that amazing park!

Screaming Viking – Cheers

When Cheers has one bartender too many, the regulars want to keep Woody Boyd on the job over newcomer Wayne. When Wayne bets his job against being able to make any drink ordered, the Cheers gang makes up this cocktail on the fly in order to throw Wayne off. Of course, it’s pretty hard to replicate a recipe that doesn’t exist. The drink has since been produced by a couple of bars with varying recipes. Unless it’s served while you’re saddled up between Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin, it just wouldn’t feel right.

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, the drink is described as “the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head” and it “is like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick”. The drink has been created in reality for stage productions of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and at bars around the world. Suggested recipes I was able to find largely just throw a ton of different boozes into the mix.

Green Russian – Archer

Absinthe and milk… a winning combination? Just think about it, you get your daily calcium nourishment, as well as an elixir meant to make you trip balls. This potent cocktail is the invention of Pam Poovey, director of human resources at the ISIS spy agency. Pam can often be seen walking around bars with her own personal booze chilling units, so it’s no surprise she is a liquor hound. She will even pour absinthe directly into a carton of milk! There are other Green Russian recipes available online, but I think Pam was on the right track with her rendition.

green-russians

Kidney Killer – American Dad

Francine Smith was once a hard-partying girl along with her partner in crime Kelly Wilk. When Kelly comes back into Francine’s life, the two try to recreate their wild times, with Haley Smith insisting she can keep up with the women. Haley drinks the fabled Kidney Killer and winds up in need of a kidney that Francine can’t offer, herself a victim of the booze. There is a Kidney Killer recipe on the internet. It combines tequila and Southern Comfort into a shot glass. The jury’s out as to how many you need to drink to actually kill your kidney!

Thankstini – How I Met Your Mother

This martini of vodka, cranberry juice and a bouillion cube is perfect for celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday. It’s like having a home-cooked family meal in a cocktail glass. Inventor Barney Stinson has provided me with the perfect libation for upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations. All that’s missing is the turkey, potatoes and stuffing, but I’m working on it. Stinson also has drink suggestions for Christmas, Arbor Day, Independence Day, and Ramadan!

Drink #283: Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
  • 1 oz Southern Comfort
  • Top with half Orange Juice and half Sweet & Sour Mix
  • Splash of Grenadine
  • Garnish with Berries

Look forward to future posts about fictional companies, restaurants, sports teams, sodas, and just about anything else this old, battered mind can think up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Sadly, the tonic didn’t send Mrs. Sip and myself into the throes of passion (as it worked in the cartoon… let down by TV once again!). Despite that small discrepancy, this drink was pretty good. All the citrus and berry notes were very enjoyable and the liquors did their jobs, as well.

August 12 – Wildberry Daiquiri

Missing Meals

Over the span of my life, I’ve seen restaurants come and go. Some I couldn’t care less for and others left a little mark on this boozehound’s soul. I’m prone to the odd moment of nostalgia. While some of these chains still exist, their locations that were closest to me have ceased operations, leaving me le sad. Here are the restaurants I miss:

Godfather’s Pizza

The pizza you can’t refuse! The Godfather’s outlet that was near our house growing up was filled with video games and played host to a number of wind-ups for sports teams I belonged to. It was perfect for parents. Stuff your child full of pizza and pop and let them run around and blow a stack of quarters on games. Surely, they slept well that night!

Bonanza Steakhouse

This will start an interesting trifecta of restaurants that just couldn’t catch on in the same location. I don’t remember too much about this joint because I was quite young, but I believe Ma and Pa Sip were fans because I was cognizant of its existence. The chain went through bankruptcy in 2008 (a somewhat common theme in the industry), but emerged and still has locations in the U.S. When Bonanza left my area and went back to the Ponderosa, in its place came…

Sizzler

As a fussy eater when I was young, I used to love salad bars, where I could just grab a few items here and there and not be bugged to struggle with food I didn’t much care for. I guess it’s kind of ironic that I liked salad and veggies as a young’un, while most kids hate the healthy stuff. In the interest of full disclosure, I was in it for the croutons and bread sticks! Sizzler left the area when I was still quite young, to be replaced by…

Lone Star Steakhouse & Saloon

As a little sipper, I attended a number of birthday parties at the one Lone Star location that came to my neck of the woods. It was a novelty to go to a country-western themed eatery, with cow-folk servers and permission to throw your complimentary peanut shells on the floor. The chain didn’t last long enough for me to attend as a Sip Advisor. Interestingly, the Lone Star chain has no restaurants in the Lone Star State of Texas. I guess it just wouldn’t be unique there.

Izzy’s Buffet

This was the meal stop for many shopping trips across the border with family. It provided a nice mix of culinary options that could suit all the tastes and cravings of a large group. I remember their dessert table being specifically fantastic, with a self-serve ice cream sundae bar and other confectionary delights. The Bellingham, Washington Izzy’s location closed many years ago, replaced by a sex shop of all things

Rainforest Café

When the local Metrotown Mall underwent abundant upgrades many moons ago, one of their newest additions was the Rainforest Café, complete with animatronic jungle animals and an expansive aquarium. It didn’t last long, though, eventually being replaced by an Old Navy store. The only Rainforest Café’s I’m able to visit anymore are in Downtown Disneyland in Anaheim, California and at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada, if I can get Mrs. Sip to tag along.

T.G.I. Friday’s

Mrs. Sip and I enjoyed an early date at T.G.I. Friday’s, but it may have been the one and only time we ever ate there together. Sadly, it was also before we could legally drink, so we never got to enjoy that element of the chain. Perhaps we’ll have to track down a location in the U.S. and give it another shot now that our tastes have evolved beyond chicken strips and fries orders.

Bennigan’s

The only thing I really know about this chain is that Butters on South Park absolutely adored it. I would love to try it myself, but the company went into bankruptcy in 2008 and closed a number of locations, as a result. 31 Bennigan’s restaurants in the U.S. and 44 abroad still remain, so I may get to try the Irish pub-themed joint eventually. I’ll do it for Butters!

Drink #224: Wildberry Daiquiri (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Wildberry Daquiri Frozen Cocktail

  • 1.5 oz White Rum (I used Bacardi)
  • Top with Wildberry Juice
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Blend with Ice
  • Garnish with Blueberries

Which restaurants do you wish still existed and why? I’m curious about this because nostalgia can often be a great thing, but sad in many ways, as well, as we think about all the things we once enjoyed that are no longer an option. Now I need to have a little cry!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The berry taste comes through nicely at the end of each sip, but it’s a pretty tame cocktail overall. Perhaps the flavour can be jacked up a little more with alcohols and liqueurs that go with the mixer.

August 2 – Blueberry Alias

Altered Egos

I can’t believe that so many characters in the history of media have adopted an alter ego, whether it’s in the form of a superhero, split personality, witness protection, or any other reason to get out of their skin. Here are some of my favourites:

Roger Smith – Numerous (American Dad)

The alien member of the Smith family has a closet full of costumes and wigs and with each wardrobe change, he can be a completely different character. Some of my favourite alter egos for Roger are drummer Krispy Kreme McDonald’s and block captain Roy Rogers McFreely. Having to keep his true identity a secret from the rest of the world, Roger has a different costume for every visitor to the Smith home and keeping them consistent has been an issue.

Roger Costumes

Ron Swanson – Duke Silver / Andy Dwyer – Burt Macklin (Parks & Recreation)

No-nonsense Ron Swanson has another side to him that most of his co-workers don’t know about. He is accomplished saxophonist Duke Silver, a performer who makes women in their 40s and 50s swoon. In contrast, goofy and loveable Andy Dwyer’s tone gets a little more serious when he becomes Burt Macklin, FBI. While he was turned down in his pursuit of joining the police force, Macklin’s tactical skills have kept the Parks and Rec crew safe from trouble on a few occasions.

J.O.B. Bluth – Franklin (Arrested Development)

To make some extra money (as if any of the Bluth’s, other than Michael, care about supporting themselves), J.O.B. turned to a life of pimping. Perhaps looking to be more intimidating, he adopted the persona of a black ventriloquist dummy named Franklin, which provided him with the edge he needed while entering the often dangerous and seedy industry. The two even recorded an album together, hoping to bring racial harmony to the world.

George Castanza – Art Vandalay / Jerry Seinfeld – Kel Varnsen / H.E. Pennypacker – Kosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)

The most famous of these monikers is by far Art Vandalay, but each male character in Seinfeld ended up having an alter ego. A great scene occurred during the banned Seinfeld episode The Puerto Rican Day, where the three alter egos meet up, each viewing an apartment that is being shown by a real estate agent. Each character was in the apartment for ulterior motives, but the three entered into a rivalry bidding war with each other over the space.

Butters Stotch – Professor Chaos / Eric Cartman – The Coon / Kenny McCormick – Mysterion (South Park)

Usually when little boys play superhero, they don’t go to the extent that the South Park crew does. First came Professor Chaos, whose evil designs were intended to destroy the little town. The Coon entered the picture in an attempt to rid South Park of its problems, but Mysterion became a more popular hero, causing The Coon to switch between the light and the dark side, depending on his motives and objectives.

Stefan Urquelle – Steve Urkel (Family Matters)

In many cases, an alter ego can be the result of some sort of experiment gone wrong (or even right, as it is here). Perennial geek, Steve Urkel was hoping to finally shed his thick-rimmed glasses and suspenders for a suave, jockular appearance. The amateur scientist created a machine that turned him from uber-nerd to… I guess you’d say heartthrob Stefan Urquelle, finally landing him his longtime crush Laura Winslow.

Clive Bixby – Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)

When Phil Dunphy has to turn his cool factor up a few notches, he becomes Clive Bixby, executive business man and designer of “high-end electro-acoustic transducers”. Of course, because Phil is a bit of a geek, this often gets himself and his wife, Claire, into trouble, such as their Valentine’s Day role play date, which resulted in a near wardrobe malfunction, as the two tried to spice up their love life with some imagination.

clive bixby

Rusty Shackleford – Dale Gribble (King of the Hill)

Given how paranoid Dale Gribble is of his own government (and really everyone around him), it should come as no surprise that he often operates under a false name. He even fronted and performed in a bluegrass band, using both his names. They were dubbed The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience, featuring Rusty Shackleford on the keyboard.

Ziggy Stardust – David Bowie

Perhaps the most famous musical alter ego (unless we’re talking about how Garth Brooks ‘Chris Gaines’ personality practically ruined his career – yeah, sure, let’s put a wig on a bald guy… that’ll work), Bowie donned his androgynous Ziggy Stardust outfit and became a wildly popular cult character, along with his Spiders from Mars, putting on amazingly theatrical rock shows and shaking the foundation of the genre at its core.

Drink #214: Blueberry Alias

Aug 2

  • 1.5 oz Blueberry Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
  • 0.75 oz Blueberry Liqueur
  • 0.75 oz Lime Juice
  • Garnish with Blueberries

There are a few examples I had to sadly leave off this list, including Fenton Crackshell (wicked name) as GizmoDuck (from DuckTales), Charlie Baileygates as Hank Evans (from Me, Myself and Irene), and Buddy Love from the Nutty Professor movies.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2 Sips out of 5):
There’s a few issues I have with this recipe, including the measurements of ingredients and ingredients choices. It just doesn’t add up to the standards I want to be drinking. I only chose the cocktail for its name and so I had something to go along with this post. On the positive side, it was nice to work with Blueberries as a garnish, but if I had been thinking ahead, I would have frozen some and used them as ice cubes.

June 7 – Blue Angel

Blue Me Away

If I was forced to choose, I’d have to say that blue is one of my favourite colours. And why not? It’s the colour of my eyes, I look good in clothes of that hue, and some of my preferred things in existence match that shade. Speaking of which, here are some awesome matter that come in blue.

Cookie Monster

Readers should be quite familiar with my affinity for cookies and their patron saint, the Cookie Monster. I wish the Cookie Monster was a real being, who would hang out with me as we debated the facts of life over a plate of cookies and side glass of milk. We’d be the best of buds: me baling him out of jail after a cookie bender; he driving me to the hospital after a bout of alcohol poisoning. Ah, the memories.

Cookie-monster-bedtime

Bluegrass Music

I love this music, but I can’t put a finger on exactly why. Perhaps it gets to the core of the southern boy in me, happy to sip moonshine out of a jug, while Earl and Emmitt twang the strings on their banjos. Then we go swimming in the ol’ cement pond, farmer tans proudly exposed to the world as we swing from tires hung from trees. A simple existence, but an amazing one!

Blueberries

While they aren’t my favourite berry, they’re my favourite blue berry! *rimshot* Seriously, though, blueberries are pretty good and they’re full of healthy crap. They are said to lower cholesterol and blood sugar levels, aiding in combating the symptoms of heart disease and even depression. For this, we salute the little blueberry, especially the vodkas and other liqueurs that have been created from its flavouring.

Josh Blue

This comedian burst onto the scene, winning the 2006 edition of reality show Last Comic Standing, and later made recurring appearances on Mind of Mencia, hosted by fellow comic Carlos Mencia. Not only is Blue a top joker, making light of his cerebral palsy, but Blue was also a member of the 2004 US Paralympic Soccer Team.

The Sky

We’ve all been mesmerized by the sky at one point or another in our lives. Looking up and watching white, fluffy clouds float across the blue atmosphere. If not for blue sky, we wouldn’t have picturesque beautiful days to truly appreciate. When we’ve angered that blue sky, it turns grey and drops venomous precipitation upon us. The sky cries and we cry with it.

Blue Man Group

While I’ve never seen their show yet, I wish to one day catch it. With the frequency that Mrs. Sip and I are in Las Vegas, we’re bound to catch a performance eventually. One of the best ongoing gags in Arrested Development was Tobias working as an understudy of the Blue Man Group and constantly getting his blue paint all over the family home.

"I'm afraid I just blue myself!"

“I’m afraid I just blue myself!” – Tobias Funke

Blue Jeans

Perhaps my favourite article of clothing ever, jeans, is awesome because everyone can look good in a pair of them. Just find the right size and style and you’ll have more swagger than a college football quarterback. It’s always a sad day when a pair of blue jeans has run its course in the Sip wardrobe. On the plus side, that means a new pair is on the horizon, set for an unfathomable volume of adventures.

Blue Curacao

Of course something from the world of alcohol had to make this list. I like Blue Curacao, perhaps even more so, knowing that Mrs. Sip doesn’t like the spirit. Sometimes I try to slip it into her drinks just to later throw it in her face that she just drank the substance! I could have also mentioned Blue Agave, crucial to the production of tequila, but Blue Curacao factors into today’s drink!

Drink #158: Blue Angel

Blue Angel Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Champagne
  • Garnish with Orange Wedge and Raspberry

While there is much to like about the colour blue, there are also some things to hate, that try to sneak into this awesome classification. Bleu cheese, for instance, is downright disgusting. Similarly, the Toronto Blue Jays are among my least favourite sports franchises thanks to the club being crammed down my throat as ‘Canada’s baseball team’. These true blues can burn in red hell, as far as I’m concerned!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
The Blue Curacao does what it can, but I’m still not a fan of champagne-based drinks. If anyone out there has a never fail champagne cocktail recipe, please pass it along, so that I can finally enjoy the bubbly as it was meant to be appreciated.