January 4 – Lemon Drop

Around the Bend

Today marks a new beginning for the Super Saturday Shot Day page. After much pestering, I promised Mrs. Sip that each Shot Day post would include rankings rather than just lists. She thinks this will engage the reader more and we have a little bet running on that. Let’s see if I’ll end up owing her a Coke (her least favourite beverage!). Anyway, here are the top five things to look forward to in 2014, according to the Sip Advisor!

#5: Box Office Smash

2014 will see the release of a myriad of highly-anticipated films. Among the ones I’m looking forward to seeing are: X-Men: Days of Future Past; Dumb and Dumber To; How to Train Your Dragon 2; and The LEGO Movie. Sure, there are others that may eventually catch my attention, but there are also others I have no intention of checking out, such as Robo Cop (I was never a fan of the franchise) and Godzilla (I never got the appeal of all these monsters).

dumb-and-dumber

#4: Small Screen Gems

The TV schedule gets a boost of rejuvenation with the return of some great series early in the New Year. Archer, Community (premiered two days ago), and Sherlock all return within the first couple weeks of 2014, proving that shows with a one-word title are most appreciated. Add in all the other programming coming off their Christmas hiatus and your DVR player better have a ton of free space available.

#3: Blog-O-Sphere

I’m really looking forward to the new Sip Advisor project I’m starting on Jan. 6, as we traverse the globe and learn about a different nation’s top imports and celebrated alcohol each week. It will give me a great opportunity to delve into the collection of spirits I’ve built from around the world and share with all you little sippers a more international flavour than ever before.

Drinking Around the World

#2: Travel Tips

It looks like Mrs. Sip and I already have some crazy travel plans on the horizon, including tentative vacations to New York, the Dominican Republic, Iceland, Germany, and the U.K. already in the pipeline. On top of that, we’re sure to end up in Disneyland and Las Vegas at some point, as we do every year. With each journey, I’ll be checking out unique libations and visiting fine establishments all in the name a liquor education… can I claim a tax refund on that!?

#1: Milestones

Speaking of Mrs. Sip, the gorgeous goddess will celebrate her 30th birthday this year and you better believe we’ll be partying in style. 2014 will also see us enjoy our 12th dating anniversary and 2nd wedding anniversary. As for this natural wonder of a website, we’re rapidly approaching our 50,000th view. Sadly, I won’t be able to know exactly who that person is and award them a lifetime supply of free blog articles!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Lemon Drop

Lemon Drop Shooter

  • 0.75 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • 1 Sugar Cube
  • Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

What are you looking forward to in 2014? Perhaps you’ll give me other ideas of what I should be keeping an eye on in the next calendar year!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I can’t believe it took so long to get around to doing this shot, but it’s a great way to ring in 2014. The shooter is simple and delicious. You could probably achieve different tastes depending on which Vodka you choose to use. I thought the Smirnoff Blueberry and Lemon Juice blended together quite well. I left the Sugar Cube to dissolve on it’s own, rather than stir it into the recipe.

October 10 – Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Cocktail Creations

There are some pretty interesting fictional cocktails out their in media land. I vow to try each and every one of them eventually. Here’s what made it to the top of the wishlist!

Flaming Homer/Moe – The Simpsons

When Homer Simpson is stuck at home with his terrible step-sisters and not a drop of beer to be found, he panics and puts together a cocktail made of all the booze he has left, accidentally adding some children’s cough medicine to the mix. Ash from one of his step-sister’s cigarettes lights the concoction on fire and makes it taste amazing. When Homer shares the recipe with bartender Moe Szyslak, Moe steals the drink and markets it as a Flaming Moe, gaining fame and fortune until Homer reveals the secret ingredient as revenge.

Flaming-Moe

The Flaming Moe is actually served at Universal Studios: Florida… another reason to go back to that amazing park!

Screaming Viking – Cheers

When Cheers has one bartender too many, the regulars want to keep Woody Boyd on the job over newcomer Wayne. When Wayne bets his job against being able to make any drink ordered, the Cheers gang makes up this cocktail on the fly in order to throw Wayne off. Of course, it’s pretty hard to replicate a recipe that doesn’t exist. The drink has since been produced by a couple of bars with varying recipes. Unless it’s served while you’re saddled up between Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin, it just wouldn’t feel right.

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, the drink is described as “the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head” and it “is like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick”. The drink has been created in reality for stage productions of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and at bars around the world. Suggested recipes I was able to find largely just throw a ton of different boozes into the mix.

Green Russian – Archer

Absinthe and milk… a winning combination? Just think about it, you get your daily calcium nourishment, as well as an elixir meant to make you trip balls. This potent cocktail is the invention of Pam Poovey, director of human resources at the ISIS spy agency. Pam can often be seen walking around bars with her own personal booze chilling units, so it’s no surprise she is a liquor hound. She will even pour absinthe directly into a carton of milk! There are other Green Russian recipes available online, but I think Pam was on the right track with her rendition.

green-russians

Kidney Killer – American Dad

Francine Smith was once a hard-partying girl along with her partner in crime Kelly Wilk. When Kelly comes back into Francine’s life, the two try to recreate their wild times, with Haley Smith insisting she can keep up with the women. Haley drinks the fabled Kidney Killer and winds up in need of a kidney that Francine can’t offer, herself a victim of the booze. There is a Kidney Killer recipe on the internet. It combines tequila and Southern Comfort into a shot glass. The jury’s out as to how many you need to drink to actually kill your kidney!

Thankstini – How I Met Your Mother

This martini of vodka, cranberry juice and a bouillion cube is perfect for celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday. It’s like having a home-cooked family meal in a cocktail glass. Inventor Barney Stinson has provided me with the perfect libation for upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations. All that’s missing is the turkey, potatoes and stuffing, but I’m working on it. Stinson also has drink suggestions for Christmas, Arbor Day, Independence Day, and Ramadan!

Drink #283: Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
  • 1 oz Southern Comfort
  • Top with half Orange Juice and half Sweet & Sour Mix
  • Splash of Grenadine
  • Garnish with Berries

Look forward to future posts about fictional companies, restaurants, sports teams, sodas, and just about anything else this old, battered mind can think up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Sadly, the tonic didn’t send Mrs. Sip and myself into the throes of passion (as it worked in the cartoon… let down by TV once again!). Despite that small discrepancy, this drink was pretty good. All the citrus and berry notes were very enjoyable and the liquors did their jobs, as well.

May 20 – Sex on the Beach

Making Whoopee

I certainly don’t advocate getting freaky along the shoreline. What with all that sand that could wind up literally anywhere. I don’t even like sand getting in between my toes, so I would abhor the substance being wedged betwixt my buttocks. While I’d like to think that any setting provides a good opportunity for doing the down and dirty, here are some other places you might want to avoid:

Airplane Bathroom

Getting two people crammed into this very tight space would be a modern miracle. Then, putting up with the stench the last guy left for you long enough to finish your business would be a performance of Iron Man proportions. I know that a lot of folks want to join the “Mile High Club”, but is it really worth all the coordination and effort. My advice is to keep it on the ground, unless you’re ever financially set enough to have your own private plane. In that case, go nuts… literally!

Mile High Club

Theme Park Ride

Perhaps this was more achievable many years ago when cameras weren’t everywhere and security was more lax. Today, you never really know where people are located on rides, hidden in the darkness and making sure riders follow all the rules. I remember being on Splash Mountain once and I had the double-wide backseat to myself with Mrs. Sip in front. Just before the big drop she tried to slide back to sit with me (not to do anything sensual, but just because it’s fun to sit together heading into the briar patch), until some dude emerged from the shadows, scaring the bejesus out of both of us. Mrs. Sip promptly returned to her assigned spot and as soon as we finished the attraction, we got the eff out of dodge.

Forest

Unless you want to go home with sap and pine needles pasted all over your body (similar to stripper pasties, but tougher to remove… as if I have comprehensive knowledge of the devices), the forest may not be the best place to find an intimate moment. Sure it provides the two elements that the above entries lack – privacy and spaciousness – but it’s not the cleanliest of settings. If you thrive on getting dirty, in all manner and senses, then go wild!

Dance Floor

I know with all the raunchy bumpin’ and grindin’ that occurs at the clubs nowadays, it’s hard not getting all hot and bothered. I can remember many times (and I am far from a clubbing regular) where a guy and a girl were getting really physical with each other, likely thinking everybody was doing their own thing and not paying them attention. On the contrary, every single person on the dance floor stopped en masse and was watching this exhibit of primal passion. Might as well give them a golf clap for their efforts.

Evolution of Dance

Body of Water

Surely, someone will die during your exploits in the H2O. Whether it is from drowning or the always hilarious going over a waterfall, one or both of you are not going to have a very good time. With questions regarding the purity of nearly every body of water on earth today, is that really something you want to be trifling in. Remember, that’s where fishies pee!

Playground

Talk about rockin’ out teeter-totter style! The problem with a playground is that there’s too many apparatus options, all of which carry a high degree of risk and injury. You could go down the slide together, but one of you would surely topple over the other. You could try the swings, but one or both of you will be compelled to jump into the rough gravel below. Finally, there’s the fire pole, but that will just ruin all of your memories of the classic Batman live action show, not to mention some kind of chaffing with all that exposed skin.

Drink #140: Sex on the Beach

May 20 (1)

  • 1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
  • 1 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Top with half Orange Juice and half Cranberry Juice
  • Garnish with a Mandarin Orange Slice

I like that the mocktail versions of this drink can be referred to as Safe Sex on the Beach, Dry Humping on the Beach, or Virgins on the Beach. Perhaps this is the only way to safely traverse through the world of sexual discovery… but you won’t have nearly as much fun!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I like the Peach Schnapps taste, despite not being a peach fruit fan. This was a very enjoyable martini that would be awesome poolside or, as the drink advises, on the beach! I regret not putting a cocktail umbrella into the drink as that would be a perfect finishing touch.