November 7 – Shot of Love

Posted on November 7, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Audial Bliss

The Sip Advisor is a five-sense kind of guy and over the next two weeks, we’re going to look at the sounds that make me smile, as well as the noises that make me cringe. Let’s get started with the satisfying side of the ledger:

#5: Breaking Glass

Of course, I’m not talking about the criminal variety, nor the type that might inflict any pain on someone. I’m talking about those rare times when you get to witness something being destroyed with good intent. I once worked on a garbage truck with Cousin Sip and we took great delight in whipping light tubes into the compactor. Or how about when an old car gets crushed? There’s also Stone Cold Steve Austin’s entrance theme, which brings fans to their feet with a shattered glass opening!

#4: Sizzling Food

Before the scent of the food can fill our nostrils, we hear that delightful sizzle that seems to beckon you, saying “come on, eat me!” Whether it’s chicken fajitas, barbecue burgers, bacon, or some other wonderful creation, we are drawn to this beautiful culinary melody. I wonder if vegetarians get the same thrill with their meals. Do vegetables crackle in the same manner as all things carnivorous? This is a mystery I may never solve, as healthy things don’t often touch the Sip Advisor’s plate!

#3: Golf Tee Shot

Even for folks that can’t hit the ball very well, if you get just the right shot, your reward is a delicious ping, as the (preferably) driver strikes the ball and sends in flying into space, off of the tee. This is why the Sip Advisor prefers to do his golfing at the driving range, rather than on the course. First, your time commitment is minimized, meaning you can hit the bar quicker. Second, your chances of spanking a couple good shots is increased. Best of all, you don’t have to worry about all those course hazards.

#2: Pop of Cork or Bottle Cap/Crack of Can

It’s amazing how universally awesome it is to open any alcoholic beverage vessel. Perhaps we’re so desperate to taste what is hidden within that item, that the jingle becomes part of the experience. My phone notification sound is a bottle cap being popped and it has been for some time. The tone brings such pleasure to me, that even if bad news if coming, such as Mrs. Sip not having left work yet, although she said she’d be home hours ago, I can still smile.

#1: Someone Saying: “I Love You!”

Is there a sweeter thing in the world than having someone say, “I love you!”? It doesn’t matter if it’s coming from your partner, parents, buddy, or adoring fans… so long as it’s coming. During time’s when Mrs. Sip and I have been separated due to schooling, travelling, or some other hurdle, you don’t get as many of those “I love yous” as you’re accustomed to and that can hurt. When one scrolls across your screen from an e-mail or message, it’s just not the same.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Shot of Love

0.5 oz Crown Royal Whisky
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

Some honourable mentions include skate blades cutting into ice, a purring cat, and the music of Justin Bieber. Okay, just kidding on that last one! Next week, we’ll look at the worst sounds known to man… or at least your faithful Sip Advisor.

Flavour Revolution – Peach

Posted on August 3, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Pit Stop

Peaches are best defined by the massive pit at the center of the fruit. That got the Sip Advisor thinking about some of the most famous pits, found outside fruits. Here’s what this eccentric old mind was able to come up with:

La Brea Tar Pits

Located near Los Angeles, these pits of heavy crude oil have trapped a countless number of animals over the years, including mammoths, sabre-toothed cats, wolves, bison, horses, bears, sloths, turtles, and even lions. The La Brea Tar Pits official website advertises itself as “The World’s Most Famous Ice Age Fossil Excavation Site”. It’s certainly an area I wouldn’t want to disappear into.

Brad Pitt

The two-time World’s Sexiest Man (at least according to People Magazine, which has elected to not include the Sip Advisor’s name on voter’s ballots) is a universally known star. I’d say my favourite Brad Pitt work is Fight Club, but I still have issues with the guy for leaving Jennifer Aniston, in favour of Angelina Jolie. That is a decision I’ll never be able to understand and just have to make peace with.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Home to the Steelers (NFL), Penguins (NHL), and Pirates (MLB) of the sports world, the city is also the birthplace of notable folks, such as Jeff Goldblum, Ken Griffey Jr., Zachary Quinto, George A. Romero, Julie Benz, Joe Manganiello, Kurt Angle, and Gillian Jacobs. Lastly, one of my favourite American craft breweries, Fat Head, originated in the ‘Burgh and for that, we thank them!

Pit Bulls

Among dog fans, these pups go by the shortened term ‘Pits’. While they are sometimes feared for the occasional horror story that hits the rounds regarding attacks by dogs, anyone who owns one swears by their loving nature. Some famous pit bulls include Petey (The Little Rascals), Chance (Homeward Bound) and Champion (Parks and Recreation). There’s also the rapper of the same name, but whateves.

Piper’s Pit – WWE

This was the wrestling talk show to end all talk shows. A place where many of professional wrestling’s greatest storylines either began, progressed, or ended. Hosted by the wild, unpredictable ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper, the Pit was the setting for Andre the Giant turning on Hulk Hogan, leading to their epic WrestleMania III showdown, and Piper’s own feuds with Jimmy Snuka and Adrian Adonis, among others.

Armpits

Armpits get a bit of a bad rap, as they are one of the central sweat zones for both males and females, sometimes causing embarrassing body odors. For some though, this is an area of sexual attraction and fetishism (known as maschalagnia). While that’s not for the Sip Advisor, I’m not here to judge. The female armpit hair debate, however, has a simple answer: the less the best!

Flavour Revolution: Tickled Peach

1.5 oz Peach Liqueur
1 oz Gin
Top with Ginger Ale
Splash of Sour Mix
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

There are also a number of famous pits and sinkholes, found around the world. And how could we forget The Peach Pit from Beverly Hills 90210, where the coolest kids from the richest zip code hung out. Ah, the wonderful 90’s!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I was hoping to use a Peach Moonshine, but went with Peach Liqueur instead. This made the drink sweeter than I would have wanted and it just wasn’t the best mix I’ve had before. I don’t know if Moonshine would have changed that at all, but I’ll have to try it out in the future.

July 4 – Stars and Stripes

Posted on July 4, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

American Made

While my neighbours to the south celebrate their Independence Day, I’d like to salute the most steadfast American patriots… well, at least of the fictional variety. And no, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter doesn’t count! On with the list:

#5: Sam the Eagle

This Muppet is a staunch advocate for the good ol’ U-S-of-A, while also being a straight-laced defender of decency and high culture. He certainly doesn’t fit in with many of his fellow Muppets, who rely on slapstick routines and lower-brow entertainment. Perhaps Sam’s biggest role was in the recent Muppets Most Wanted film, where he, as a CIA agent, teamed with an Interpol agent to clear the good name of Kermit the Frog and save the entire Muppets troupe, in the process.

#4: Wrestling

The wrestling world is rife with American patriotism, featuring countless battles between red, white, and blue clad heroes versus villainous foreign foes. It’s hard to pinpoint one grappler in particular, but these are a few of the many who have fought in defense of Old Glory, capitalism, and the American way: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Kurt Angle, The Patriot, Sgt. Slaughter, ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan, Jack Swagger, Dusty Rhodes, Corporal Kirchner, and the American Express. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!

#3: G.I. Joes

This line of Hasbro action figures was first released in 1964, representing four divisions of the United States’ armed forces: the army, navy, air force, and marines. In fact, the releases were the first to ever receive the designation “action figures”. A cartoon later came in 1985, which saw the Joes battle the evil terrorist group Cobra. Two films, in 2009 and 2013 (with one to come in 2016) have also been released for the franchise. Good will always triumph over evil!

#2: Uncle Sam

Used as a major symbol for propaganda, particularly during war times, Uncle Sam (who coincidentally has the initials, U.S.) has existed for approximately 200 years. Many believe that Uncle Sam was based on Samuel Wilson, a meat packer from Troy, New York, who helped provide soldiers with rations during the War of 1812. Regardless, if you see Uncle Sam, he probably wants you to fight for the country, joining one of the branches of U.S. armed forces.

#1: Captain America

Battling evil forces, the likes of which include the Red Skull, Barons Helmut and Heinrich Zero, Flag Smasher, and even Adolf Hitler, himself, Captain America is the ultimate defender and avenger (see what I did there!) of the United States against oppressors from other evil nations. With his trusty red, white, and blue shield, Captain America will be protecting the country (and world) for years to come. And to think, he was originally rejected as a member of the army, before going super soldier.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Stars and Stripes

0.5 oz Grenadine
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps

I was surprised at how difficult this article was to put together. I figured there would be so many more glaring examples of fictional American patriots, but many weren’t so obvious. Perhaps I’ve just missed a number of folks that should have made this list. Let me know if I’m guilty of neglect!

Flavour Revolution – Pear

Posted on June 9, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Shapely Figures

The term “gone pear-shaped” often refers to plans that have gone awry. This can include anything from an elaborate bank robbery to the simplest of tasks. Many theories exist as to why the pear was chosen, including the shape of deflated balloons, the distending of a failed gun barrel blast, the errors in forming pottery or blown glass, and even the construction of excrement. Here are some other popular metaphors using food and drink:

Carrot and Stick

Rewards and punishment… this is a theory the Sip Advisor can really get behind. There’s also the similar carrot on a stick idiom, but this lacks the fear of any punishment, so what’s the point of that! This term has even led to a portmanteau: throffer – threat + offer. The carrot and stick idea is best exemplified with acts of extortion, where protection is offered for a price, with harm being the only alternative.

Apple of My Eye

If there is something or someone you treasure above all else, then that item is the “apple of your eye”. For me, this would probably include Mrs. Sip, my family, my wonderful liquor collection, my blog, and television. Are you allowed to have more than one “apple of your eye”? Is a bushel of apples okay? I’m just going to go ahead and approve that theory right here!

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade

I recently wrote an entire article based on this theory and I largely believe that you have to make the best of what you are given. It’s not the easiest thing to do and sometimes it takes some time to settle for what you have, but you’ll be happier if you make peace with your lemons. At this point of my life, I turn most lemons into cocktails, so I’m a very happy man!

Having Your Cake and Eating it Too

This term can basically be described as not being able to possess something and consume it as well. Once it’s been used or eaten, it’s gone. Again, this is something I can associate with my booze assortment, which is awesome to show off, but you always want to drink it too. When a bottle is gone, it’s a sad day, but I always reflect on all the awesome concoctions it went into.

Chew the Fat

Making small talk can often be excruciating… especially if you have to come up with things to discuss with those you’d rather not be around. There was once an e-mail hoax that attempted to explain this phrase, describing that long ago in the past, people would bring out bacon when company came over, thus showing off their wealth. This bacon and its fat grew this false explanation.

Drinking the Kool-Aid

Growing up, I was a Kool-Aid kid, but I’d like to think I’ve never fallen for any of the bullshit that this figure of speech is usually applied to. The term was first used following the Jonestown Massacre, when more than 900 of Jim Jones’ followers blindly drank a cyanide-laced beverage, committing mass suicide. Ironically, the drink used was actually Flavor Aid, not Kool-Aid.

Heinz 57

Based off of an early Heinz company slogan, which advertised 57 varieties of products, it was eventually attributed to anything that contained a large number of parts. The idiom became so popular, it was used as the price point ($57 million) the Heinz company paid to the NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers for the naming rights to Heinz field. I bet they wish the motto had been Heinz 4, or something like that.

Flavour Revolution: A Lovely Pear

1.5 oz Pear Vodka
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Splash of Grape Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Splash of Apple Juice
Dash of Apothecary Smokey Pear Bitters
Garnish with a Pear Slice

The pear is also a symbol of immortality to Chinese. How such a bland fruit gained this great association is beyond the Sip Advisor. The Chinese also thought sharing a pear was bad luck as it signifies the separation of friends or lovers. Thankfully, Mrs. Sip and I won’t be sharing pears anytime soon!

Netherlands – Amsterdammertje

Posted on December 8, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Red Light Diaries

No trip to the Netherlands would be truly complete without a stroll through Amsterdam’s infamous Red Light District. No matter how illicit you want to get, it is a cultural experience that must be enjoyed. Mrs. Sip and I imbibed a little too much while we were in the “Venice of the North” (seriously, every place is the Venice of something!), but I’m itching to go back and try my luck again!

Amsterdam actually has three Red Light Districts, but the most famous of them is the area also known as ‘De Wallen’ in Old Amsterdam. This Red Light Distrcit has existed for hundreds of years. Since the 14th century, brothels have called the region along the city’s numerous canals, home. Once banned, but tolerated if kept underground, houses of ill repute were first allowed in 1811 and were frequented by French soldiers.

Prostitution is legal in the Netherlands and with any time spent in the Red Light District, you will be sure to see an array of women (and on some occasions, even men) advertising themselves through red-light lit windows for various services. If you agree upon a price with one of the workers, you will be ushered into their cabin. It is a big no-no to take any photos of the workers, some of whom are students making money for their studies.

De Wallen is also famous for their Coffee Shops, where locals and tourists alike can eat, smoke, or even drink any number of normally illegal substances. These shops are licensed by the Dutch government. It should be noted that these stores are prohibited from selling alcohol and cigarettes, so you’ll have to get your drink and normal smoking done elsewhere.

There are also live sex shows, sex museums, sex theatres, sex shops (sex, sex, sex, is that all you ever think about!), bars and clubs, museums, and even a department store. In fact, Amsterdam is home to 51 different museums, making it one of the most museum-populated cities in the world. You should enjoy the destination while it lasts, as there are fears it will eventually disappear, given most of the city is already below sea level.

If you want to see the city, but aren’t so interested in the darker activities offered in the Red Light District, there are a number of other attractions definitely worth checking out. This includes: Canal Cruises, Walking Tours, the Heineken Experience, the Vodka Museum, the House of Bols, the Anne Frank House, the Van Gogh Museum, the Rembrandthouse, and the Rijksmuseum, which is described as the Louvre of the Netherlands.

Amsterdam is the bicycle capital of Europe, with one million bikes for a population of 700,000 people. Any travelers spending time around the city or going through the Red Light District, should always be vigilant and keep an eye out for bicyclists and whether or not they’ve accidentally entered onto a bike path. I suppose given all the libations available in the city, intoxicated biking is better than driving!

Some events to keep in mind if planning a trip to Amsterdam are King’s Day in April, providing the perfect excuse for crazy parties and the High Times Cannabis Cup, described as “five days of pure hedonism,” in late-November. Worldwide events, such as Pride and New Year’s Eve, when celebrated in Amsterdam sound quite interesting. For Pride, there’s a naughty boat parade through the canals, while at New Year’s, most bars don’t even open until midnight hits.

Netherlands: Amsterdammertje

1.25 oz Jenever
0.75 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Cranberries

Talk about crazy folks: Adults in the Netherlands like to add sprinkles (like the ones used as an ice cream sundae topping) onto their toast. This is something the Sip Advisor will surely have to try in the future!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
Friends of Mrs. Sip and myself visited the House of Bols while they were in the Netherlands and were incredibly kind enough to pick us up a couple treats, while there. This included this wonderful bottle of Bols Jenever that I used for our Around the World stop here, as well as a cocktail recipe booklet, which is hilariously in Dutch (English version does not exist yet) and requires some Google translating! This is one of the drinks that looked fun to make and it certainly hit the spot on the taste scale.

September 27 – Spinal Tap

Posted on September 27, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

I’m With the Band

For those about to rock… we salute you! And we also salute these fictional bands, some of which turned into real-life touring acts. Those which didn’t, should have. Hell, if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had a music tour at the height of their popularity in the early 90s, why can’t we see Faith+1 or Fingerbang around the world!?

#5: The Blues Brothers – The Blues Brothers/Blues Brothers 2000

When Jim Belushi and Dan Aykroyd took to the Saturday Night Live stage to perform as Jake and Elwood Blues, nobody knew how musically-gifted the two actually were. The sketches were turned into a feature film and the SNL alum even toured together, performing live on stage. With the unfortunate death of Jim Belushi, his brother John has filled in at times (as Zee Blues), as well as John Goodman, who joined Aykroyd as ‘Mighty’ Mack McTeer for the sequel Blues Brothers 2000. Aykroyd’s love of blues music has even resulted in his owning a percentage of the House of Blues restaurant and live performance chain.

#4: The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience – King of the Hill

The Experience consisted of the back alley crew (Hank, Dale, Bill and Boomhauer) with young Connie Psupnesphone on her violin – or as it’s referred to in blue grass, a fiddle. Boomhauer’s unintelligible southern drawl speech is perfect for bluegrass and the troupe made it all the way to performing at the Bluegrass Festival in Branson, Missouri, before Connie’s overbearing father Con interfered. Their cover of ‘Blue Moon of Kentucky’ sounded pretty good and they even talked country legend Charlie Daniels into filling in on the fiddle when Connie disappeared. Despite all their efforts, though, they did not win the festival competition.

#3: Spinal Tap – This is Spinal Tap

The greatest fake rock band to become a real rock band EVER! Made up of David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) and filmed mockumentary style, this film covered Spinal Tap’s journey to the top of the music world. Spinal Tap later appeared on The Simpsons, thanks to Shearer’s voice work on the series, forever cementing their status as a great fictional band, although the group actually tours and performs. This is one act you wouldn’t want to be a drummer for, though, as each prospective percussionist has died from bizarre accidents and under mysterious circumstances.

#2: The Be-Sharps – The Simpsons

Homer, Principal Skinner, Apu, Chief Wiggum and later Barney Gumble (replacing Wiggum) made up this little quartet. With a Grammy Award winning and number one hit ‘Baby On Board,’ the group seemed destined for superstardom, but in a case eerily similar to The Beatles, creative differences and an Asian woman forced the band to split and remain a one-hit wonder. The Simpsons has also featured other fictional groups and musicians, including Bleeding Gums Murphy, Lurleen Lumpkin, the Party Posse, Captain Bart and the Tequila Mockingbirds, Sadgasm, and even Kirk Van Houten.

#1: Fingerbang & Faith+1 – South Park

Both of these bands are driven by the genius mind of Eric Cartman. First, he created Fingerbang, an attempt at capitalizing on the boy band craze. The death of Kenny – crushed by an elevator during a concert at the local mall – thwarted them in the end. They did gain one fan, but promptly split up, realizing that such fame doesn’t allow for a normal life. Years later, Cartman splits from the boys garage band Moop, to form the Christian Rock-based Faith+1 with Butters and Token. Faith+1 goes on to be a hit, receiving a Mir album distinction. Cartman, expecting a gold record to win a bet with Kyle, goes on a profanity-laced tirade, ruining the band’s innocent image.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Spinal Tap

0.5 oz Vodka (I used Finlandia)
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
Garnish with a Guitar Pick

As usual, this list was extremely difficult to pare down. I would have loved to include groups like Jesse and the Rippers (Full House), the Zack Attack (Saved by the Bell), and The Electric Mayhem (The Muppets), among others. I did manage to sneak a sixth band into the post by doubling up the South Park entry, so consider yourself extra special today!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m unsure of if this shooter has anything to do with the mockumentary band or if it’s more to do with the medical procedure… either way, I’m using it! And it is delicious. You get varying notes of Peach Schnapps and Crème de Cacao and both taste so good. Had I used a flavoured Vodka, I wonder if things would have got better or worse. Would a whole new flavour emerge, or would there be too many competing notes? The questions that keep the Sip Advisor up at night!

May 24 – Crackhouse

Posted on May 24, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

There Goes the Neighbourhood

Last week we took a look at some of the best neighbourly relationships ever, which means this week, it’s time to do an about face and examine the worst neighbours you could ever find yourself living next door to. Prepare to see the neighbourhood go down the tubes:

#5: Homer Simpson & Ned Flanders – The Simpsons

Ned is the consummate neighbour (or neighbourino as he would prefer to put it) and has an almost infinite well of patience for Homer. Despite that, Homer can’t stand stupid sexy Flanders and always seems to be at odds with the mustachioed one. With the way the two treat each other, you’d figure Ned would be the one to be short and rude with Homer and not the other way around. For example, half of Ned’s possessions have found their way into the Simpson home, as Homer seems to borrow items with no return date and Homer is jealous of the Flanders superior lifestyle.

#4: Jerry Seinfeld & Cosmo Kramer – Seinfeld

These two may actually be friends, but Kramer’s penchant for using Jerry’s apartment as an offsite location for himself would grate on any person. Kramer’s constant raiding of the fridge, use of the telephone, and occupation of Jerry’s couch would drive me crazy. Worst of all, Kramer is friends with Jerry’s sworn enemy, Newman, and often brings him around to the apartment. Add in Kramer’s string of bizarre adventures, get-rich-quick schemes, and other outlandish behaviour and you’re in for a bumpy ride, whether you like it or not.

#3: Winslow Family & Steve Urkel – Family Matters

Sure, by the end of each episode whoever Steve had upset within the Winslow family had made peace with the uber nerd, but that kid brought some serious tough times to the household. Steve’s clumsiness caused an untold number of repairs to be necessary to the home and because his own parents were so absent in his life, Steve practically lived with the Winslow’s. The threat of a surprise visit from the suspender-clad dork would cause great tension for myself, even though I love the guy. I just don’t think I could take the destruction that follows Steve like a cursed shadow.

#2: Bundy Family & D’Arcy Family – Married with Children

While most of them are reasonably amiable with one another, Al and Marcy have been feuding for years and things get even more tense when Marcy’s women’s group clashes with Al’s NO MA’AM organization. Admittedly, it would be tough existing next door to the Bundy clan and their unique way of living. From the always scheming Bud, to dim-witted Kelly, to parents Al and Peg, who are always taking advantage of the more well-off D’Arcy’s, it would be exhausting to come home. Then again, you can’t feel too bad, given they don’t seem to even like each other, let alone their neighbours.

#1: John Gustafson, Jr. & Max Goldman – Grumpy Old Men

The way these two curmudgeons prank each other comes from years of being rivals. John and Max have grown up together and even competed over girls during their younger days. That set off a lifelong animosity between the two neighbours, one that flares up when an attractive woman moves into the town and both grumps end up fawning over the lady. In the end, the joke is all on John and Max, though, as their kids end up married to one another, meaning the two will forever be linked. Something could also be said for the two old men needing each other, whether they realize it or not.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Crackhouse

1 oz Blackcurrant Liqueur
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Cranberries

All that’s left is to decide which one of you has to put up the ‘For Sale’ sign. Either that, or continue to battle forever, passing the torch on to future generations. Sometimes you just have to stand your ground and hope for the best!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this shot. It could have been too sweet, but the Cranberry Juice neutralizes that. For some reason, I really love chewing on Cranberries when the shooter is done. Yeah, I’d probably be one of those neighbours you hate with vehement passion!

March 1 – The Scraps

Posted on March 1, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Excess Enjoyment

The Sip Advisor gets a little teary-eyed when a bottle of liquor gets down to the last dregs. What do you do with that thin layer of booze left at the bottom of the bottle? Well, my little sippers, as always, I have the answer for you. Here are the top five ideas of what to do with remaining residual liquor:

#5: Molotov Cocktail

While the Sip Advisor is never one to advocate violence – shouting and yelling at inanimate objects, sure, but physicality, nyet – making your own incendiary device for the purposes of entertainment doesn’t sound so bad. Simply combine all the final portions you have on hand and light that sucker up. I’d suggest dancing wildly and nakedly around your impromptu fire, hopefully while burning up something from your past and chanting cathartically.

That would be so bad ass!

#4: Fire-Spitter

The ancient art of spraying a flammable fluid at a fire source and becoming some sort of dragon-human hybrid can be all yours for the low price of using leftover alcohol you have lying around. People will marvel at your feats of magic and trickery, especially if you escape without charring your delicate facial features. You may even acquire a cool nickname like Dragon Man or Dragon Boy for your efforts… results may vary!

#3: Have an Alcohol Fight

Similar to the classic scene from Zoolander, where the male models enjoy a spirited gasoline fight while jamming to “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” by Wham, a great idea is to start splashing your friends with booze. Of course, the soundtrack to your mêlée should be something a little more badass. If you have some ladies around, make sure that they are dressed in tight, white tank tops. Just be careful not to ignite any flame source, as that could make your gleeful battle end in tragedy.

#2: Mouthwash

Brushing one’s teeth is one of the most important things we can do, but it’s often not enough to keep cavities at bay on its own. Add in some mouthwash and you should be good to go. What’s that, you don’t have any Listerine on hand? Well, that’s where scrap liquor comes in handy. Pour some in a shot glass, toss it back, and swish and swirl it around your mouth. The best part is, you can swallow this mouthwash. Note: the dental benefits of booze have yet to be fully proven!

#1: Make This Shot

This is a booze enterprise after all and we must never forget that leftover liquor is still liquor… no man left behind, is what I always say. While the ingredients may or may not mix well together, we’ll never know unless we try. I’d say, try to have something included in the recipe that has a flavour base, just to make sure you don’t end up just downing harsher stuff. Then, tip it back and marvel at what you’ve created.

Super Saturday Shot Day: The Scraps (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.3 oz Blueberry Vodka
0.3 oz Peppermint Schnapps
0.3 oz Peach Schnapps
0.3 oz Spiced Whiskey
0.3 oz Rye
Garnish with Lime End

Recipes will always vary for this shot, as it depends on what libations you have leftover, sitting around and waiting to be used. Send me the variants you’ve come up with, along with the results, and perhaps I’ll throw together some kind of competition on the subject.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve been wanting to make this shot for some time and while cleaning and reorganizing my bar recently, I finally decided to go ahead and get rid of some bottles that had been lying around for far too long with little liquid left. The results, I have to say, were surprising. I think I had enough flavoured ingredients on hand to make the shot quite tasty and things you normally wouldn’t expect blending together very well worked out nicely. For garnish, I used a Lime End to go along with the theme of remnants and allowing absolutely no waste. I suppose you could make similar shooters using perfectly full bottles of spirits, but the recipe would lose some of its mystique!

January 1 – Perfect Kiss

Posted on January 1, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Mission Accomplished!!!

Well, my little sippers, we did it! *Confetti and streamers fall from the sky while fireworks erupt, setting off the ever-hated car alarms and the somewhat necessary sprinkler systems!*

365 days of boozing made 2013 a very memorable year… well, at least the parts of it I remember!

As I hop up onto my soapbox, I’d like to thank Mrs. Sip for first coming up with the idea for the project and supporting me throughout (at least until you were made more of a figurehead board member).

To anyone that provided liquor or anything else for any of the drinks made, especially Ma and Pa Sip, who often brought me items from their collection, to help with my recipes, I am humbly in your debt.

To all my fellow media moguls out there who helped along the way by liking a post, making my tweet a favourite, directing people to my site, and anything else, I couldn’t have reached the heights I did without your assistance.

For everyone out there in Sip Nation who took the time to read my wonderful prose, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. It takes a village to raise something, anything, and together we got this wicked site off the ground and launched it into orbit.

Getting things done regardless of the consequences!

So, I guess you’re wondering what’s next for The Sip Advisor. Well, here’s the long-awaited plan for 2014:

We’ll be switching gears from the 365-day project to a world showcase of sorts, as I virtually travel the planet and experience the feature libations of over 50 countries. Each week, the Sip Advisor will be in a new country with posts highlighting some of the features of each stop, as I drunkenly bounce around the globe.

Articles will be published every Monday and Thursday, starting January 6th with my home nation of Canada getting the proverbial ball rolling. From there, you never really know where I’ll end up… it’ll be like tracking down the infamous (and super sexy) Carmen Sandiego!

We’ll still rock the Super Saturday Shot Day entries, so join us every weekend for another shooter to get the party started. Finally, in my spare time, I’ll also be taking on various special projects for this spectacular site (including Product Reviews, Man vs. Liquor Challenges, and a yet-to-be-named Competition Page [please vote for your favourite: Spirit Skirmish/Scuffle, Recipe Row, Drink Dispute, Beverage/Bevvy Brawl, Booze Battles]. Stay tuned for all the developments.

And what Sip Advisor post would be complete without a drink recipe. Here’s one last little gift of thanks from me to you on this most glorious of days. Enjoy!

Drink #366: Perfect Kiss

1 oz White Rum (I used Grand Melon)
1 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Berries

Much love and much thanks to you all you little sippers! I wish you nothing but the best in 2014!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is a great cocktail for celebrating that first kiss of 2014 with the nearest/dearest loved one! The drink was really nice and refreshing with tastes of berry, melon, citrus, and peach. It provided my first chance to use the spherical ice cubes Mrs. Sip got me molds for as a Christmas gift. Look out for my first product review post based on these little gems!

October 7 – Superman Cocktail

Posted on October 7, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Celebrity Collectables

Jay Leno is known for his car collection and George Cloonery for his avid motorcycle passion. These celebrities, however, take collecting to whole new levels!

TV-Show Board Games – Quentin Tarantino

A man after my own heart! How many of us wanted to have the various home-edition games given to losers of a TV game show? Growing up, I had Classic Concentration, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, and Jeopardy, among others. Of course, the oft-deranged Tarantino would choose this as his obsession. We differ in that he prefers the classic games based on shows like I Dream of Jeanie, The A-Team, and The Dukes of Hazzard and movies such as Dawn of the Dead and Platoon.

Who wouldn’t want to have this in their man-cave!

Model Trains – Rod Stewart

Pa Sip is a train-o-phile, but I can forgive him for that! Apparently Stewart also have a desire to put on the conductor’s hat and guide his own mini locomotives around a track, complete with fake landscapes, homes, and people. When Model Railroader did a cover story on the singer for their December 2007 issue, Stewart exclaimed, “It means more to me to be on the cover of Model Railroader than to be on the cover of a music magazine.” Perhaps you choose the wrong field then, Roddy!

Typewriters – Tom Hanks

I’m a little surprised Hanks accepted the male lead role for You’ve Got Mail, given his professed love for the typewriter. He was basically helping to usher in the death of the device… or maybe that was his plan all along, driving up the market price for the collection he had amassed. How does one collect typewriters? Do you go all crazy over the feel of the keys or is it the roller that gets your motor running. Perhaps Mr. Gump could let us in on his trade secrets.

Superman Paraphernalia – Shaquille O’Neal

Big Diesel is apparently a huge fan of Clark Kent, letting the super hero’s symbol and colours adorn everything from vehicles to even his bedspread. That’s thinking highly of yourself if you’re warning every person that shares that mattress with you that you think you’re Superman between the sheets! Perhaps Shaq Daddy is, but that’s a question I like not having the answer to.

Knives – Angelina Jolie

I’m going to pass on this one… I vehemently despise Jolie and I have a few idea of what she could do with her collection. I’ll leave it at that.

Star Trek Memorabilia – Ben Stiller

While collecting Star Trek items is a pretty common ailment (yes, I called it an ailment, likely causing my entire Star Trek fan demographic to never return to this site) and industries such as Comic-Con have been born thanks to fans’ passion for the show, I wouldn’t have pegged Stiller as a Trekkie. The highlight of Stiller’s collection is reportedly the set of Spock Vulcan ears he has had signed by Leonard Nimoy, himself.

Surrounded by more than 1,400 Marines and sailors, actor Ben Stiller greets fans, signs autographs and poses for photos before treating troops to an advance screening of DreamWorksÕ ÒTropic Thunder.Ó

Ben Stiller gets mobbed by geeks just like his Star Trek idols!

Beanie Babies – Lou Ferrigno

Who could have thought that big, tough Lou Ferrigno (he played the Hulk on the 1970’s action show The Incredible Hulk… and I mean the green monster, not Dr. Bruce Banner) is a fan and collector of Beanie Babies!? You know, the cute, cuddly, bean-bag-filling stuffed toys. That seems like such a wild contrast, but perhaps Ferrigno is simply a child at heart. Hulk can smash the Beanie Babies all he wants… they’re practically indestructible.

Pig Figurines – Janet Jackson

Apparently Janet Jackson has a thing for pig figurines, proving that every member of the Jackson family has their own oddities. Why pigs? Why not? I, myself, like pigs. They provide me with glorious bacon, pulled pork, ham, sausage, and many other gluttonous items. I suppose they can be cute, as well. At least when they’re not covered in mud and slop and other filth. Too bad they always seem to be covered in these substances until they hit my plate!

Drink #280: Superman Cocktail

0.75 Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
0.75 Peach Schnapps
Splash of Blue Curacao
Top with Lemonade
Float Grenadine
Garnish with an Orange Peel Cape

It should also be mentioned that Lindsay Lohan collects arrest warrants and Miley Cyrus has a passion for tongues… I just wish she’d keep hers in her god damn mouth.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
There are other Superman Cocktail recipes out there, but I picked this one for simplicity and ingredients I enjoy (and boy did I enjoy them here!). It wasn’t easy putting together my Orange Peel Cape, but I hope I kind of got the message across. I love how the blue and red colours mixed together in the photo!

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