Flavour Revolution – Pear

Shapely Figures

The term “gone pear-shaped” often refers to plans that have gone awry. This can include anything from an elaborate bank robbery to the simplest of tasks. Many theories exist as to why the pear was chosen, including the shape of deflated balloons, the distending of a failed gun barrel blast, the errors in forming pottery or blown glass, and even the construction of excrement. Here are some other popular metaphors using food and drink:

Carrot and Stick

Rewards and punishment… this is a theory the Sip Advisor can really get behind. There’s also the similar carrot on a stick idiom, but this lacks the fear of any punishment, so what’s the point of that! This term has even led to a portmanteau: throffer – threat + offer. The carrot and stick idea is best exemplified with acts of extortion, where protection is offered for a price, with harm being the only alternative.

carrot and stick

Apple of My Eye

If there is something or someone you treasure above all else, then that item is the “apple of your eye”. For me, this would probably include Mrs. Sip, my family, my wonderful liquor collection, my blog, and television. Are you allowed to have more than one “apple of your eye”? Is a bushel of apples okay? I’m just going to go ahead and approve that theory right here!

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade

I recently wrote an entire article based on this theory and I largely believe that you have to make the best of what you are given. It’s not the easiest thing to do and sometimes it takes some time to settle for what you have, but you’ll be happier if you make peace with your lemons. At this point of my life, I turn most lemons into cocktails, so I’m a very happy man!

Having Your Cake and Eating it Too

This term can basically be described as not being able to possess something and consume it as well. Once it’s been used or eaten, it’s gone. Again, this is something I can associate with my booze assortment, which is awesome to show off, but you always want to drink it too. When a bottle is gone, it’s a sad day, but I always reflect on all the awesome concoctions it went into.

having cake and eating it too

Chew the Fat

Making small talk can often be excruciating… especially if you have to come up with things to discuss with those you’d rather not be around. There was once an e-mail hoax that attempted to explain this phrase, describing that long ago in the past, people would bring out bacon when company came over, thus showing off their wealth. This bacon and its fat grew this false explanation.

Drinking the Kool-Aid

Growing up, I was a Kool-Aid kid, but I’d like to think I’ve never fallen for any of the bullshit that this figure of speech is usually applied to. The term was first used following the Jonestown Massacre, when more than 900 of Jim Jones’ followers blindly drank a cyanide-laced beverage, committing mass suicide. Ironically, the drink used was actually Flavor Aid, not Kool-Aid.

Heinz 57

Based off of an early Heinz company slogan, which advertised 57 varieties of products, it was eventually attributed to anything that contained a large number of parts. The idiom became so popular, it was used as the price point ($57 million) the Heinz company paid to the NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers for the naming rights to Heinz field. I bet they wish the motto had been Heinz 4, or something like that.

Flavour Revolution: A Lovely Pear

  • 1.5 oz Pear Vodka
  • 0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Splash of Grape Juice
  • Splash of  Lime Juice
  • Splash of Apple Juice
  • Dash of Apothecary Smokey Pear Bitters
  • Garnish with a Pear Slice

The pear is also a symbol of immortality to Chinese. How such a bland fruit gained this great association is beyond the Sip Advisor. The Chinese also thought sharing a pear was bad luck as it signifies the separation of friends or lovers. Thankfully, Mrs. Sip and I won’t be sharing pears anytime soon!

May 21 – Prickly Pear

Vodkommercialization

There are some great vodka ads out there. Whether in print, video, or hell, even the dead art of radio, the liquor is well represented and here are some of the best examples I was able to find (in photos only):

VanGoghVodka

Mrs. Sip and I both really enjoy this Van Gogh Vodka ad campaign. My particular favourite is the one about women not getting their panties in a bunch because they’re rocking it commando style! The company makes a very valid point with this ad and I believe that all us gentlemen should support such a cause. Perhaps we should even host charity functions to get the message out.

vice vodka

And some of us have too many vices to list! One of them is in the above ad… good lord I love typography! While I haven’t heard of this vodka brand before, this message will remain with me until it’s pushed out of my mind by other useless junk and I will keep my eyes open for it until then. If it comes with one of those blindfold thingies, it may make the perfect night out combo!

vodka with you

Yeah, I would definitely have a drink with me. I would also certainly have a drink with Hugh Hefner. You could ask him to divulge the secret of how he’s been so awesome for so long. I mean, the guy was dating three young, hot women at the same time. I can barely handle one lady and this octogenarian was keeping up with three girls that could have been his great granddaughters.

effen-vodka

It’s a little hard to read, but the text next to the woman says “Nothing warms me up like Effen by the fire.” I’ve seen some losers post complaints about the name of this vodka. I personally think it’s clever. It will definitely stick with you as you try to choose one brand from the many that are available. Plus it provides an almost unending number of advertising possibilities, like the ones seen above.

Three Olives

These ladies and I practiced ‘O’ faces all night long until we finally had it right. Three Olives has so many crazy flavours and they have ads similar to the ones above for each concoction. There’s even one that features a dude… hey, I’m all for equal opportunity. But who really wants to see a guy’s ‘O’ face? Let’s face it, we don’t pull it off as well as the ladies. Why do you think we’re usually the ones behind the camera!

Drink #141: Prickly Pear

May 21

  • 1.5 oz Pear Vodka (I used Absolut)
  • 0.5 oz Triple Sec
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Pineapple Juice
  • Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
  • Garnish with Pear Slice

I really enjoyed this look at vodka advertisements and I hope all you little sippers did, too. In the future, I hope to design my own vodka and with it, a series of commercials that feature inanimate objects being attracted to the libation. Just wait until I release the storyboards… it’s going to be a doozy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The pear is certainly not near the top of my favourite fruit list, but I was intrigued by Pear Vodka and this drink was decent. However, there are a lot of different flavours competing for your attention, drowning each other out, which isn’t how I like my drinks.