Colorado – Colorado Bulldog

Posted on February 11, 2020 by Daniel Wilson

Each week, the Sip Advisor will alphabetically travel the United States, discovering the best each state has to offer in a variety of subjects. Nicknamed the Centennial State, after joining the union in 1876, Colorado is our mile high destination today. Let’s see what trouble we can get up to:

Motto: “Nothing without providence” – Well, it’s nice to be protected!

Food: Jolly Ranchers were created in Golden, by company founder Bill Harmsen. The brand is now owned by the Hershey Company. I’m not a big candy guy, but a flavourful Jolly Rancher can sometimes hit the spot.

Drink: Colorado is a beer-lovers heaven. For those who prefer mass-produced products, you have Coors Brewing, while the craft beer connoisseur has multiple options, with companies like New Belgium Brewing tops among them.

Jolly Ranchers

Site to See: The state’s national parks are must-see attractions, including Rocky Mountain National Park, Mesa Verde National Park and Great Sand Dunes National Park. Mesa Verde features the carved-in-cliff homes of the Pueblo people, including the impressive Cliff Palace.

Street: Running east-west through Denver, Colfax Avenue is the longest continuous street in the U.S. The route has been nicknamed the “longest, wickedest street in America” and stretches for 42 miles. Along the road, highlights include the State Capitol and a Voodoo Doughnut location.

TV Show: South Park is one of the longest running shows of all-time, currently at 23 seasons and 307 episodes aired. South Park is probably a place you wouldn’t want to live if it existed, but it’s fun to watch the mayhem from afar. The citizens of the “quiet, little mountain town” really make the show, with each viewer having their own favourites.

Movie: The Shining, starring Jack Nicholson, is set in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. The Stanley Hotel, which was the inspiration for Stephen King’s Overlook Hotel in the novel, can be visited in Estes Park. With this, I can segue to the second half of Dumb and Dumber (perhaps the Sip Advisor’s favourite all-time film, much to Mrs. Sip’s chagrin) taking place in Aspen, with the Stanley Hotel used for the Hotel Danbury in that film.

The Shining

Book/Author: Speaking of book-to-movie adaptations starring Jack Nicholson, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was written by Ken Kesey, who was born in La Junta. The controversial book has been banned in some places, despite its commercial and critical success.

Fictional Character: One of the greatest characters ever created is Eric Cartman from South Park. Sure, the little bastard is as evil as they come, but he’s also endearing in his own way. At the same time, you can both rout for and revile the foul-mouthed youngster.

Fictional City: With South Park already getting some ink above, here I’ll highlight Greendale from Community. Greendale Community College may be one of the wildest schools in existence, highlighted by annual paintball battles that engulf the entire student body. If given the opportunity, I would certainly enroll.

Actor/Actress: Tim Allen, the star of TV shows such as Home Improvement and Last Man Standing (set in Denver), as well as films including The Santa Clause trilogy, Galaxy Quest, Christmas with the Kranks, and the Toy Story franchise, was born in Denver.

Eric Cartman

Song: Rocky Mountain High by John Denver became Colorado’s second State Song in 2007. Denver’s ode to the state came a few years after moving to Aspen, where he would live for much of his life. Born Henry John Deutschendorf Jr., when a name change was suggested, he chose Denver for a surname, the capital of his favourite state. After tragically dying in a 1997 plane crash, his ashes were scattered in the Rocky Mountains.

Band/Musician: Pop rock band OneRepublic was formed in Colorado Springs. The group is best known for their hit Counting Stars, which topped music charts in six different countries, including Canada and the U.K., but peaked at number two in the U.S.

People: Former senator and presidential candidate John Kerry was born in Aurora. Kerry served as U.S. Secretary of State during Barack Obama’s second term as president, retiring with the end of that administration.

Animal: Colorado’s official State Pets are the dogs and cats adopted from Colorado animal shelters and rescues. Aside from that, Duane ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ Chapman hails from Denver, but I don’t think he counts as a famous animal.

Rocky Mountain High

Invention: The first Teddy Bear was said to have been constructed by maids at the Hotel Colorado in Glenwood Springs. They put scraps of material together and presented the bear to President Teddy Roosevelt, while he stayed there on a hunting trip. The Teddy Bear became a worldwide sensation and its popularity has never waned.

Crime: There are some doozy crimes in the history of Colorado. The Columbine High mass shooting, murder of JonBenét Ramsey, and Aurora Theater mass shooting all took place within the state. Other notable crimes have been featured on the TV show Homicide Hunter, which looks at the cases of Lt. Joe Kenda, a former detective with the Colorado Springs Police Department.

Law: It is illegal to mutilate a rock in a Colorado state park. I’ve always had it out for those geological formations, but I guess I’ll have to bottle up my hatred when travelling through the state.

Sports Team: Another state that has one team in each of the Big 4 sports leagues: Denver Broncos (NFL), Colorado Avalanche (NHL), Colorado Rockies (MLB), Denver Nuggets (NBA). Colorado is also known for its many world-class ski resorts, bringing many travellers to locations such as Aspen and Vail for some fresh powder.

Joe Kenda

Athlete: An inaugural inductee into the Colorado Sports Hall of Fame in 1965, boxer Jack Dempsey was born in Manassa. Nicknamed the ‘Manassa Mauler’, Dempsey was World Heavyweight Champion from 1919-1926, becoming a cultural icon of the time. He passed away in 1983, aged 87.

Famous Home: Sculptured House is an elliptical-curved home, located in Golden. The place was designed by architect Charles Deaton and built on Genesee Mountain. Sculptured House was featured in Woody Allen’s 1973 film Sleeper, giving it the nickname, Sleeper House. It has also appeared on MTV’s Extreme Cribs.

Urban Legend: Famous outlaw Butch Cassidy is believed to have buried treasures at some locations around Colorado, with thousands of dollars up for grabs for those willing to search the hordes out. The Wild Bunch gang leader was killed in Bolivia, on the run from the law, before he could retrieve these deposits.

Museum: If you can’t get to the fields of MLB’s 30 teams, perhaps you’ll want to visit the National Ballpark Museum, in Denver. The gallery’s collection includes seats from some of the most storied stadiums in the sport’s history, as well as other memorabilia and exhibits.

Jack Dempsey

Firsts: Colorado was among the first states (along with Washington) to legalize marijuana in 2012. Cannabis sales in the state passed $1 billion in 2016 and the industry continues to grow (literally!).

Company: What would become the Coors Brewing Company was first established in Golden in 1873. The brewery was run by a Coors family member from then until 2002. Sadly, the Coors legacy is mixed with some tragedy, including the suicide of Adolph Coors I and the murder of Adolph Coors III, during a botched kidnapping for ransom plot.

Events: In 1858, gold was discovered in Colorado, leading to an influx of people to the region and popularizing the phrase “Pikes Peak or Bust”. Central City, founded in 1859, is known as “The Richest Square Mile on Earth”, with a total gold output between 1859-1918 of over $83 million.

Miscellaneous: You always have to be careful when mentioning “highest” in reference to Colorado, but the state contains the highest paved road, bridge, railway and sand dune in the U.S. It was on one of those high points (Pikes Peak), where America the Beautiful was written by Katherine Lee Bates, becoming a national anthem alternative to some.

Colorado Bulldog

1 oz Vodka
1 oz Coffee Liqueur
Top with Cola
Splash of Light Cream/Milk
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

The Colorado Bulldog is basically a White Russian, enhanced (or not, depending on your view) with some cola. I turned my serving into more of a dessert cocktail, using Smores Vodka and Chili Chocolate Kahlua in the beverage. It turned out fairly well, but I don’t think this drink will feature regularly in my libation rotation.

Mixer Mania #18 – Using and Abusing

Posted on May 1, 2017 by Daniel Wilson

For some time, commercials have aired hyping chocolate milk as the perfect post-workout beverage. Yes, better than protein shakes, regular milk, water, or sports drinks. Regardless of how legit this claim may be, it got the Sip Advisor thinking about fictional substances used by characters to enhance their physique:

Weight Gain 4000 – South Park

In Eric Cartman’s obsession to be a “beefcake” for his televised award ceremony, after winning his school’s Save Our Fragile Planet essay contest, he begins taking doses of Weight Gain 4000. Well, at least the product came as advertised. By the end of the episode, Cartman has swelled to a massive size and is barely moveable. In his mind, though, the added pounds are simply muscle mass. Cartman does get the fame he wanted, though, as his obesity lands him on talk show Geraldo.

Cartman Weight Gain 4000

Thump – Aqua Teen Hunger Force

After being hospitalized for high blood pressure, Master Shake decides to get into shape. His method of doing this is to drink copious amounts of an illegal fitness beverage called Thump. The product’s flavour options – Mango Bitch Slap, Coconut What Did You Say To Me, and Blueberry Butt Rape – would have most people reconsider, but this is Master Shake we’re talking about. Of course, the muscles gained come to life and start a murderous rampage… just another day in South Jersey!

Powersauce – The Simpsons

Looking to shed his trademark spare tire, Homer Simpson turns to the Rainier Wolfcastle endorsed Powersauce bars to help with his efforts in the gym. Homer’s dedication to only eating foods in bar form led to him becoming the next spokesperson for Powersauce bars and their representative to scale the ominous Murderhorn Mountain. Homer ends up being successful in reaching the Murderhorn peak, but it is also learned that Powersauce bars are merely made from apple cores and Chinese newspapers.

Homer Powersauce Bars

Spinach – Popeye

Popeye has been using this “performance-enhancing substance” throughout his career, with Olive Oyl his enabler. Popeye simply grabs a can of spinach, pops it open and consumes the vegetable, leading to bulging muscles that get him through a number of dire situations. In the real world, spinach sales increased as a result of the character’s association with it. Ironically, spinach was chosen as Popeye’s supplement of choice, due to its iron content, which was later determined to be a miscalculation.

Venom – Batman

The supervillain Bane gains his massive physique by abusing this super steroid. The addictive formula must be constantly administered, directly to Bane’s brain, or else the user will suffer extreme withdrawal. The drug makes Bane so strong, that he is able to break Batman’s back and send him into temporary retirement. Of course, anytime his stream of Venom is disrupted, Bane becomes weak and easily defeated. After all, every antagonist has to have their Achilles’ heel.

Mixer Mania #18: Dirty Bastard

Dirty Bastard.JPG

1 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Irish Crème
0.5 oz Kahlua
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Chocolate Milk
Garnish with Maraschino Cherries

I don’t think I would take any of these enhancers. No, I’ll stick to the chocolate milk – preferably booze-fueled – thank you very much!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The highlight of this martini might have been finally opening the bottle of Bailey’s Cherry Chocolate Irish Crème I’ve been holding onto for far too long. Despite all the booze that’s part of this recipe, the cocktail is fairly light and the flavours are quite cohesive.

November 1 – Teddy Bear

Posted on November 1, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Full of Stuffing

There are some great stuffed animals that have appeared in media over the years. Friends of our favourite characters who just don’t get the attention they deserve. Well, that’s going to change right now. Here are the Top 5 stuffed animals:

#5: Larry the Leopard – The Cleveland Show

Larry the Leopard is Cleveland Brown Jr.’s imaginary friend. With a relationship bordering on the creepy (ie. Larry is sometimes portrayed as Junior’s spouse), Larry is an important part of his owner’s life. Junior practically has a nervous breakdown when Larry is put through the washer and dryer, taking away his essence or as it is more filthily known, his stank. Cleveland Sr. is not a fan of the stuffed animal and its effect on Junior, who takes advice from the inanimate object.

#4: Teddy – Mr. Bean

It seems at times as if Teddy is the only person Mr. Bean cares for… although Bean’s use of Teddy in his palns often results in punishment to the bear. The two exchange Christmas gifts, Mr. Bean makes sure Teddy is safely buckled in while driving, and the bear is given its own bed. Teddy became such a popular character in the series, that Ty (makers of Beanie Babies) produced a replica, so fans of the series could have their own adventures with the stuffed bear.

#3: Clyde Frog, Rumper Tumpskin, etc. – South Park

Cartman has a whole collection of stuffed toys that become his imaginary friends (also including Polly Prissypants, Peter Panda, and Muscle Man Marc), joining him for tea parties and otherwise filling in for Cartman’s lack of a father. When Cartman is finally ready to grow up and leave behind his plush friends, they are all murdered in a twisted, schizophrenic fashion with Cartman as the culprit and his childhood toys as the victims.

#2: Rupert – Family Guy

While Rupert seems like an innocent enough stuffed bear, when Stewie imagines the two of them cavorting together in his fantasy world, Rupert becomes a muscled man (save for his teddy bear head) is skimpy speedo shorts. There are many other insinuations that Rupert is gay, likely playing off of Stewie’s own ambiguous sexuality. Stewie losing Rupert or moving on from the toy has been used in a couple of episodes, but the bear always winds up back in the crib.

#1: Hobbes – Calvin and Hobbes

Like the other stuffed animals on this list, Hobbes becomes an imaginary friend to his owner, in this case Calvin. The two get up to all sorts of trouble together with Hobbes trying to be the voice of reason, but often being ignored. Artist Bill Watterson blurs the lines of how real Hobbes may be with events like Hobbes being regularly tossed in the washing machine, which are baths that the tiger is forced to deal with.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Teddy Bear

Rim glass with Chocolate Syrup
0.25 oz Kahlua
0.25 oz Peppermint Schnapps
0.25 oz Cola
0.25 oz Milk

Honourable mentions go to Winnie the Pooh, Ted, Pookie (Garfield), Smacky (Get Fuzzy), Mr. Bear (Full House), and Bobo (The Simpsons). What’s your favourite stuffed animal from the entertainment world? It’s time to get cuddly!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot was pretty good, reminding me of a Cola float… and how could you go wrong with that! The Chocolate Syrup rim took me back to the days of stuffed animals with early morning cartoons and chocolate milk. You know, the good ol’ days!

September 27 – Spinal Tap

Posted on September 27, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

I’m With the Band

For those about to rock… we salute you! And we also salute these fictional bands, some of which turned into real-life touring acts. Those which didn’t, should have. Hell, if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had a music tour at the height of their popularity in the early 90s, why can’t we see Faith+1 or Fingerbang around the world!?

#5: The Blues Brothers – The Blues Brothers/Blues Brothers 2000

When Jim Belushi and Dan Aykroyd took to the Saturday Night Live stage to perform as Jake and Elwood Blues, nobody knew how musically-gifted the two actually were. The sketches were turned into a feature film and the SNL alum even toured together, performing live on stage. With the unfortunate death of Jim Belushi, his brother John has filled in at times (as Zee Blues), as well as John Goodman, who joined Aykroyd as ‘Mighty’ Mack McTeer for the sequel Blues Brothers 2000. Aykroyd’s love of blues music has even resulted in his owning a percentage of the House of Blues restaurant and live performance chain.

#4: The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience – King of the Hill

The Experience consisted of the back alley crew (Hank, Dale, Bill and Boomhauer) with young Connie Psupnesphone on her violin – or as it’s referred to in blue grass, a fiddle. Boomhauer’s unintelligible southern drawl speech is perfect for bluegrass and the troupe made it all the way to performing at the Bluegrass Festival in Branson, Missouri, before Connie’s overbearing father Con interfered. Their cover of ‘Blue Moon of Kentucky’ sounded pretty good and they even talked country legend Charlie Daniels into filling in on the fiddle when Connie disappeared. Despite all their efforts, though, they did not win the festival competition.

#3: Spinal Tap – This is Spinal Tap

The greatest fake rock band to become a real rock band EVER! Made up of David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) and filmed mockumentary style, this film covered Spinal Tap’s journey to the top of the music world. Spinal Tap later appeared on The Simpsons, thanks to Shearer’s voice work on the series, forever cementing their status as a great fictional band, although the group actually tours and performs. This is one act you wouldn’t want to be a drummer for, though, as each prospective percussionist has died from bizarre accidents and under mysterious circumstances.

#2: The Be-Sharps – The Simpsons

Homer, Principal Skinner, Apu, Chief Wiggum and later Barney Gumble (replacing Wiggum) made up this little quartet. With a Grammy Award winning and number one hit ‘Baby On Board,’ the group seemed destined for superstardom, but in a case eerily similar to The Beatles, creative differences and an Asian woman forced the band to split and remain a one-hit wonder. The Simpsons has also featured other fictional groups and musicians, including Bleeding Gums Murphy, Lurleen Lumpkin, the Party Posse, Captain Bart and the Tequila Mockingbirds, Sadgasm, and even Kirk Van Houten.

#1: Fingerbang & Faith+1 – South Park

Both of these bands are driven by the genius mind of Eric Cartman. First, he created Fingerbang, an attempt at capitalizing on the boy band craze. The death of Kenny – crushed by an elevator during a concert at the local mall – thwarted them in the end. They did gain one fan, but promptly split up, realizing that such fame doesn’t allow for a normal life. Years later, Cartman splits from the boys garage band Moop, to form the Christian Rock-based Faith+1 with Butters and Token. Faith+1 goes on to be a hit, receiving a Mir album distinction. Cartman, expecting a gold record to win a bet with Kyle, goes on a profanity-laced tirade, ruining the band’s innocent image.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Spinal Tap

0.5 oz Vodka (I used Finlandia)
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
Garnish with a Guitar Pick

As usual, this list was extremely difficult to pare down. I would have loved to include groups like Jesse and the Rippers (Full House), the Zack Attack (Saved by the Bell), and The Electric Mayhem (The Muppets), among others. I did manage to sneak a sixth band into the post by doubling up the South Park entry, so consider yourself extra special today!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m unsure of if this shooter has anything to do with the mockumentary band or if it’s more to do with the medical procedure… either way, I’m using it! And it is delicious. You get varying notes of Peach Schnapps and Crème de Cacao and both taste so good. Had I used a flavoured Vodka, I wonder if things would have got better or worse. Would a whole new flavour emerge, or would there be too many competing notes? The questions that keep the Sip Advisor up at night!

April 26 – Golden Dragon

Posted on April 26, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Dragon’s Den

While preparing for our Around the World stop in China, I had originally intended to do an article on dragons, which are an integral part of Chinese culture, mythology, and folklore. China is not alone, however, with having dragons as part of their legends, so I switched this post over to a Super Saturday Shot Day article and now we can have some real fun. Here are the top five dragons in media:

#5: Maleficent – Sleeping Beauty

How cool would it be to have the power to turn into a dragon? For the wicked fairy Maleficent, this ability comes out as she tries to keep Prince Phillip from rescuing Princess Aurora. Even the name Maleficent is finely-crafted as it translates into “doing evil or harm”. The soon-to-be-released live action film Maleficent should be an interesting twist on the Sleeping Beauty fable, as we gain some perspective into the antagonist and get her point of view. Sadly, Angelina Jolie plays the titular (literally!?) role, but I’ll have to make peace with that.

#4: Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat

One of the most athletically-gifted wrestlers of all-time, Ricky Steamboat is a former NWA World Champion (a pretty big deal for you non-grappling fans) and his series of matches with the incomparable Ric Flair are considered legendary. Nicknamed ‘The Dragon’, while he was with the WWE during their cartoon gimmick era of the early 90’s, Steamboat even came to the ring breathing fire high into the air and wearing an outfit with fake scales. Sadly, his career was cut short due to a serious back injury in 1994, depriving fans of many more classic confrontations.

#3: Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal – Game of Thrones

While these dragons have already played an important role in the Game of Thrones saga, you just know that they will eventually become a focal point of the book and its TV series sibling. The dragons made Daenerys Targaryen a serious contender in the realm and helped her shed the misconceptions that she didn’t belong on the throne. Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal (I always love how fantasy novels come up with names) will continue to grow and intimidate. I doubt, however that all three make it through the series unscathed and there is likely some tragedy ahead for the ‘Mother of Dragons’.

#2: Mushu – Mulan

Returning to the Disney vault, we get Mushu, an under-sized serpent and protector of Mulan as she joins the fight against the Hun army. While Mushu is a decent sidekick to Mulan, my favourite appearance of the dragon is at the Disney Animation Studio attraction at Disney Parks, where he co-hosts the Drawn to Animation demonstration. I find it ironic that Eddie Murphy played this little firecracker of a dragon, then fell in love with a dragon as Donkey in Shrek. The guy must have a thing for the mythical beasts!

#1: Toothless – How to Train Your Dragon

It’s unbelievable how much Toothless reminds me of one of Ma and Pa Sip’s cats. Yes, an animated dragon reminds me of a living cat… I’m special like that! Anyway, young Viking Hiccup finds Toothless one day and over time, the two become friends and partners as Hiccup trains Toothless to work with him, while also coming to the realization that the stories he’s grown up on about dragons being evil may not be true for every creature of the clan. Together, they bring a stop to the constant war between Vikings and dragons. I’m really looking forward to this year’s sequel to the 2010 hit and there’s even a planned third film due in 2016.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Golden Dragon

0.5 oz Torched Cherry Rum
0.5 oz Goldschlager
0.5 oz Sour Apple Mix

While I’m not a huge fan of dragons, I have a deep respect for them. I wish I could sleep all day underneath a castle and be feared simply by reputation. I have to toss out a couple honourable mentions to Trogdor the Burninator from Strong Bad E-mails (Homestar Runner) and Eric Cartman’s stuffed animal dragon Rumpertumskin on South Park. Both characters are very minor players, but have given me great pleasure in the past.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I subbed in Torched Cherry Rum for Dragon Berry Rum because it’s what I had on hand and also thought it worked with the theme of dragons and fire. This shot was really good, particularly the mixing of the Goldschlager and Sour Apple Mix. The Torched Cherry Rum was indeed a good choice, adding a different note to an apple pie type flavour.

December 11 – The Woolly Mitten

Posted on December 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Home for the Holidays

One of the best things to do at Christmas is watch cherished holiday episodes of your favourite TV shows, while getting warm and toasty by the fire. Here are some of my favourite shows and episodes for Christmas spirit.

Married… with Children

In ‘It’s a Bundy-ful Life’, the always down on his luck, Al Bundy, is shown what his family’s life would be like if he wasn’t around. In a twist on It’s a Wonderful Life, Al decides that his family is too happy and has such a better life without him that that’s reason enough to continue living. This hour-long episode featured late comedian Sam Kinison in the guardian angel role.

South Park

The animated sensation has a bunch holiday episodes under its belt (even having its own DVD release of the collection) and in true South Park style, they use such absurdities as Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo to get their message across. The boys have even travelled to the bizarre world of Canada for Christmas, with Cartman wanting desperately to get home to his presents.

Home Improvement

Tim ‘the Tool Man’ Taylor is a house’s worst nightmare. With all of his renovation schemes – most of which end in disaster – if a home had feelings, they would fear for their existence with Mr. Taylor around. Christmas time is no different, as Tim pulls out all the stops in his attempt to decorate his home and compete with neighbours over who has the best set-up.

Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas

While their delinquent brand of humour might not be for everyone (it certainly isn’t for Mrs. Sip), this Christmas episode is incredibly funny. In the first segment, Beavis is head honcho at Burger World and is visited by three ghosts to learn the true meaning of Christmas. After a break for some Christmas music videos, the second installment follows Butt-head being shown that everyone’s lives would be better without him existing.

The Simpsons

It’s no surprise that The Simpsons would land a spot on this list. While they haven’t offered a Christmas episode in each of their 25 seasons, the ones they have done are quite memorable. In the first Simpson’s Christmas airing (the first full-length episode actually!), the family found its dog, Santa’s Little Helper, a turned away ex-racing mutt. The family has also battled commercialism during the holidays with a war on the Funzo toy release.

Community

Each year, the Community folks have provided an interesting Christmas episode, similar to their efforts at Halloween. In the show’s second season, the holiday episode featured the cast turned into stop-motion animation, similar to the Rankin/Bass specials, as Abeb searches for the meaning of Christmas. I don’t think I’d do very well in a stop-motion animation world!

The Office

The annual office Christmas party provides ample opportunity for laughs. I only thank the heavens above that my company doesn’t really do the Christmas thing. Do you think I want to be around my colleagues any longer than I actually have to be? Anyway, the antics of this rag tag bunch always seem to ramp up around the holidays and each Christmas party has its own issues to be dealt with.

Drink #345: The Woolly Mitten

1.5 oz Southern Comfort
1.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Hot Chocolate
Garnish with Whipped Cream

There are far too many Christmas episodes out there in TV Land to get to them all, but if you have any specific suggestions for the Sip Advisor, I’m all ears!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
As I’ve written before, I’m not a huge fan of warm drinks, but I do make the occasional exception for Hot Chocolate. Where this drink was good is that all the liquors tasted good together and amongst the Hot Water and Cocoa Powder. Whip Cream is always fun to use and the Crushed Candy Canes sprinkled on top was one of my better ideas.

November 16 – Scooby Snack

Posted on November 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Treat Time

Today, we take a look at fictional snacks in TV and movies… but not just any fictional snacks… no, fictional snacks that have since gone on to become real, buyable products. The world is truly a wonderful place!

Scooby Snacks – Scooby Doo

How someone turned a fictional puppy edible into fruit snacks and cookies geared towards kids is an act of pure genius. There are also dog treats that go by the same name, so be careful when buying the product for your young’uns. I have to say that I really hate the Scooby Snack song, as it plays in my head every time I think about Scooby Doo (which is far too often for a 30-year-old) and once again, the tune is stuck in my brain… must move on.

Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans – Harry Potter

When this company says they have “every” flavour, they mean it. The line includes tastes of earwax, rotten egg, vomit, dirt, and sausage mixed in with your normal fare: watermelon, cherry, blueberry, banana, and green apple. This listing kind of sounds like a Survivor Series wrestling match, with the five dastardly baddies taking on the good and pure for taste supremacy. I think you’d have to be a Harry Potter super fan to pick up a pack of these jelly beans.

Stay Puft Marshmallows – Ghostbusters

Most people think fondly of the iconic scene in Ghostbusters where the team of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler and Winston Zeddemore battle the mammoth Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Their reward for protoning the literal tub of goo was to be covered with the white sticky substance (don’t get any ideas) he was made of. It’s too bad they didn’t next face a chocolate-based monster and finally a graham-cracker encrusted foe to complete the smores trio!

Cheesy Poofs – South Park

Eric Cartman’s favourite snack treat is an actual product, released to tie-in with the series’ 15th anniversary. While I’m not a fan of eating cheese, I have on occasion enjoyed cheese-powdered snacks like Doritos and Cheetos. The product, which is thought to have originated in Canada (according to the show) is so beloved by Cartman that he even auditioned to be the face of the advertising campaign, but had his song largely cut from commercials.

Willy Wonka Products – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

This fine collection of Wonka products includes Gobstoppers, Nerds, Laffy Taffy, Pixy Stix, Fun Dip, Runts, Sweet Tarts, Shockers, and so much more. I keep hoping the company will eventually open a factory, complete with Oompa-Loompas, a chocolate river, and the chance to be taught a valuable lesson on how to behave! So long as they don’t include that trippy, psychedelic boat-trip tunnel scene that include some pretty haunting imagery.

Krusty-O’s – The Simpson

While this item could be considered part of a balanced breakfast, let’s be honest, it’s more frosted snack than healthy meal. Yes, the same cereal that gave away a jagged metal Krusty-O, which nearly killed Bart Simpson, was released to the public as part of a tie-in with The Simpsons Movie in 2007. 7-11 stores that were temporarily branded as Kwik-E-Marts to go along with the promotion were largely where the cereal could be located.

Drink #320: Scooby Snack

0.3 oz Coconut Rum
0.3 oz Crème de Banane
0.3 oz Midori
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Whip Cream

Which fictional product would you love to be able to consume? For myself, I’d have to pick Sweetums NutriYums (Parks and Recreation), Smurfberries (The Smurfs), and Cornballs (Arrested Development). Put them together and you’ll have yourself one hell of a feast!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
Wow… that’s all I can really say about this shot. It is the first shooter to receive a 5-Sip rating and it’s hard to really describe how good it is. First, you’re hit with the Whip Cream, before the Crème de Banane, Melon Liqueur, Coconut Rum, and Pineapple Juice come in the finish the flavour party. It all goes down so smooth and tastes so delicious. There are four variations of the Scooby Snack, but each follows a general pattern. I’ve provided the recipe for the original. Now I understand why Scooby was so willing to put himself in danger after a little treat!

August 2 – Blueberry Alias

Posted on August 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Altered Egos

I can’t believe that so many characters in the history of media have adopted an alter ego, whether it’s in the form of a superhero, split personality, witness protection, or any other reason to get out of their skin. Here are some of my favourites:

Roger Smith – Numerous (American Dad)

The alien member of the Smith family has a closet full of costumes and wigs and with each wardrobe change, he can be a completely different character. Some of my favourite alter egos for Roger are drummer Krispy Kreme McDonald’s and block captain Roy Rogers McFreely. Having to keep his true identity a secret from the rest of the world, Roger has a different costume for every visitor to the Smith home and keeping them consistent has been an issue.

Ron Swanson – Duke Silver / Andy Dwyer – Burt Macklin (Parks & Recreation)

No-nonsense Ron Swanson has another side to him that most of his co-workers don’t know about. He is accomplished saxophonist Duke Silver, a performer who makes women in their 40s and 50s swoon. In contrast, goofy and loveable Andy Dwyer’s tone gets a little more serious when he becomes Burt Macklin, FBI. While he was turned down in his pursuit of joining the police force, Macklin’s tactical skills have kept the Parks and Rec crew safe from trouble on a few occasions.

J.O.B. Bluth – Franklin (Arrested Development)

To make some extra money (as if any of the Bluth’s, other than Michael, care about supporting themselves), J.O.B. turned to a life of pimping. Perhaps looking to be more intimidating, he adopted the persona of a black ventriloquist dummy named Franklin, which provided him with the edge he needed while entering the often dangerous and seedy industry. The two even recorded an album together, hoping to bring racial harmony to the world.

George Castanza – Art Vandalay / Jerry Seinfeld – Kel Varnsen / H.E. Pennypacker – Kosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)

The most famous of these monikers is by far Art Vandalay, but each male character in Seinfeld ended up having an alter ego. A great scene occurred during the banned Seinfeld episode The Puerto Rican Day, where the three alter egos meet up, each viewing an apartment that is being shown by a real estate agent. Each character was in the apartment for ulterior motives, but the three entered into a rivalry bidding war with each other over the space.

Butters Stotch – Professor Chaos / Eric Cartman – The Coon / Kenny McCormick – Mysterion (South Park)

Usually when little boys play superhero, they don’t go to the extent that the South Park crew does. First came Professor Chaos, whose evil designs were intended to destroy the little town. The Coon entered the picture in an attempt to rid South Park of its problems, but Mysterion became a more popular hero, causing The Coon to switch between the light and the dark side, depending on his motives and objectives.

Stefan Urquelle – Steve Urkel (Family Matters)

In many cases, an alter ego can be the result of some sort of experiment gone wrong (or even right, as it is here). Perennial geek, Steve Urkel was hoping to finally shed his thick-rimmed glasses and suspenders for a suave, jockular appearance. The amateur scientist created a machine that turned him from uber-nerd to… I guess you’d say heartthrob Stefan Urquelle, finally landing him his longtime crush Laura Winslow.

Clive Bixby – Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)

When Phil Dunphy has to turn his cool factor up a few notches, he becomes Clive Bixby, executive business man and designer of “high-end electro-acoustic transducers”. Of course, because Phil is a bit of a geek, this often gets himself and his wife, Claire, into trouble, such as their Valentine’s Day role play date, which resulted in a near wardrobe malfunction, as the two tried to spice up their love life with some imagination.

Rusty Shackleford – Dale Gribble (King of the Hill)

Given how paranoid Dale Gribble is of his own government (and really everyone around him), it should come as no surprise that he often operates under a false name. He even fronted and performed in a bluegrass band, using both his names. They were dubbed The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience, featuring Rusty Shackleford on the keyboard.

Ziggy Stardust – David Bowie

Perhaps the most famous musical alter ego (unless we’re talking about how Garth Brooks ‘Chris Gaines’ personality practically ruined his career – yeah, sure, let’s put a wig on a bald guy… that’ll work), Bowie donned his androgynous Ziggy Stardust outfit and became a wildly popular cult character, along with his Spiders from Mars, putting on amazingly theatrical rock shows and shaking the foundation of the genre at its core.

Drink #214: Blueberry Alias

1.5 oz Blueberry Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
0.75 oz Blueberry Liqueur
0.75 oz Lime Juice
Garnish with Blueberries

There are a few examples I had to sadly leave off this list, including Fenton Crackshell (wicked name) as GizmoDuck (from DuckTales), Charlie Baileygates as Hank Evans (from Me, Myself and Irene), and Buddy Love from the Nutty Professor movies.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2 Sips out of 5):
There’s a few issues I have with this recipe, including the measurements of ingredients and ingredients choices. It just doesn’t add up to the standards I want to be drinking. I only chose the cocktail for its name and so I had something to go along with this post. On the positive side, it was nice to work with Blueberries as a garnish, but if I had been thinking ahead, I would have frozen some and used them as ice cubes.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Tag Archives: Eric Cartman