Flavour Revolution – Sloe Berries

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Slowing Things Down

Today, we experiment with Sloe Gin – a first for the Sip Advisor. I know “sloe” in this case is not spelt like “slow”, but all I can think of is things moving at a lengthier pace. Therefore, I bring to you the greatest slow-motion scenes in cinema history:

The Untouchables – Union Station Gunfight

While I’m 100% anti-prohibition, I suppose I’m also anti-illegal activity. Things come to a head between these two forces when Elliot Ness and his Untouchables enter into a full-scale gunfight with mobster Al Capone and his cronies, inside Chicago’s Union Station. Members of both factions are blown away by various weapons and upping the tension factor is the fact that a mother and her young child (in stroller) are caught in the crossfire.

Inception – Dream Catchers

To bring the reverse heisters back to the real world, a serious jolt is needed… like the type you get when you feel you’re falling in a dream. To achieve this, the crew decides that their vehicle needs to fall from a bridge into the water below. Because time moves differently in the various levels of consciousness, this descent is painfully slow and also affects the members caught in the different dream levels, throwing them into the ceiling or other obstacles of the realm they are in.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High – Leisurely Swim

Let’s move on to a lighter scene. In this teen comedy, high school senior Brad Hamilton watches his sister’s friend swim in the family pool and fantasizes about her slowly emerging from the water and dropping her bikini top all for his pleasure. This causes Brad (played by Judge Reinhold) to need some “release”… thankfully not also done in slow-mo. As we’ll find with many of these scenes, music plays a large role in the full effect, this time with the Cars ‘Moving in Stereo’ providing the soundtrack.

X-Men: Days of Future Past – Quicksilver Antics

This scene instantly made the character of Quicksilver popular with fans who didn’t know he even existed and demand to have him included in future X-men installments was passionate. Watching the young mutant run around the vault as time crawled to a halt, messing with guards and repositioning bullets was very entertaining. Only slow time will tell what other adventures Quicksilver gets up to in the future… and past!

The Matrix – Fight Fury

While I’m not a fan of the Matrix franchise, I have to admit that there are many great slow-mo scenes throughout the trilogy. Bullet Time, for example, was a jaw-dropping and revolutionary filming technique and similar processes were used for other fight scenes, such as the lobby shootout in the first installment and Neo’s battle with an unlimited number of Mr. Smiths in the sequel. I still don’t understand the damn thing, though.

Zombieland – Amazing Opening

Perfectly combined with Metallica’s ‘For Whom the Bell Tolls’, this may be one of cinema’s greatest opening montages. In just a few brief scenes, the audiences is caught up to speed with the horrors of the apocalyptic zombie outbreak that has forced our hero from his cozy, shut-in life into a world of fear, mistrust, and always being vigilant. We even see a bride attack her new husband, which would have to make their nuptials the wedding of the year!

Anchorman 2 – RV Flip

With the Channel 4 news crew reunited and en route to new jobs for the launch of a 24-hour channel, all the guys have to do is survive a cross-country road trip aboard an RV driven by Ron Burgundy… who doesn’t really understand the concept of cruise control. This results in their RV swerving off the road and injuries to each journalist, including deep fryer oil to the face, a bowling ball to the skull, an even a scorpion attack. Why these items were ever aboard the RV remains an unsolved mystery.

Office Space – Printer Destruction

Almost all of us have been there: frustrated with a printer or other office device. These three disgruntled employees decide to take their venom out on the machine that has caused them the most angst, bringing it out into a desolate field and destroying it. With the song ‘Still’ by the Geto Boys fueling their destructive intentions, the trio makes the device unrecognizable, even going so far as to wield a baseball bat in their attack. Every office worker has dreamed of doing the same ever since!

Zoolander – Gas Fight

To cheer up their buddy Derek Zoolander, the male models go out for some Orange Mocha Frappuccinos. As they stop to fill up their Jeep with some gas, they decide to have a playful fight with the fuel and all is well until one of the models lights a cigarette, causing the station to explode into a ball of fire. Once again, the music selection is key here, as the Wham! Classic ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ deceives the audience of the tragedy that is about to unfold.

Flavour Revolution: Hopeless Case

1 oz Hayman’s Sloe Gin
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Cola
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

The Chariots of Fire scene should really be included, given how many times it’s been parodied. There’s also an amazing scene in Ace Ventura where Jim Carrey performs a football play in both slow-mo and rewind. Courtenay Cox can barely keep a straight face throughout!

November 1 – Teddy Bear

Posted on November 1, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Full of Stuffing

There are some great stuffed animals that have appeared in media over the years. Friends of our favourite characters who just don’t get the attention they deserve. Well, that’s going to change right now. Here are the Top 5 stuffed animals:

#5: Larry the Leopard – The Cleveland Show

Larry the Leopard is Cleveland Brown Jr.’s imaginary friend. With a relationship bordering on the creepy (ie. Larry is sometimes portrayed as Junior’s spouse), Larry is an important part of his owner’s life. Junior practically has a nervous breakdown when Larry is put through the washer and dryer, taking away his essence or as it is more filthily known, his stank. Cleveland Sr. is not a fan of the stuffed animal and its effect on Junior, who takes advice from the inanimate object.

#4: Teddy – Mr. Bean

It seems at times as if Teddy is the only person Mr. Bean cares for… although Bean’s use of Teddy in his palns often results in punishment to the bear. The two exchange Christmas gifts, Mr. Bean makes sure Teddy is safely buckled in while driving, and the bear is given its own bed. Teddy became such a popular character in the series, that Ty (makers of Beanie Babies) produced a replica, so fans of the series could have their own adventures with the stuffed bear.

#3: Clyde Frog, Rumper Tumpskin, etc. – South Park

Cartman has a whole collection of stuffed toys that become his imaginary friends (also including Polly Prissypants, Peter Panda, and Muscle Man Marc), joining him for tea parties and otherwise filling in for Cartman’s lack of a father. When Cartman is finally ready to grow up and leave behind his plush friends, they are all murdered in a twisted, schizophrenic fashion with Cartman as the culprit and his childhood toys as the victims.

#2: Rupert – Family Guy

While Rupert seems like an innocent enough stuffed bear, when Stewie imagines the two of them cavorting together in his fantasy world, Rupert becomes a muscled man (save for his teddy bear head) is skimpy speedo shorts. There are many other insinuations that Rupert is gay, likely playing off of Stewie’s own ambiguous sexuality. Stewie losing Rupert or moving on from the toy has been used in a couple of episodes, but the bear always winds up back in the crib.

#1: Hobbes – Calvin and Hobbes

Like the other stuffed animals on this list, Hobbes becomes an imaginary friend to his owner, in this case Calvin. The two get up to all sorts of trouble together with Hobbes trying to be the voice of reason, but often being ignored. Artist Bill Watterson blurs the lines of how real Hobbes may be with events like Hobbes being regularly tossed in the washing machine, which are baths that the tiger is forced to deal with.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Teddy Bear

Rim glass with Chocolate Syrup
0.25 oz Kahlua
0.25 oz Peppermint Schnapps
0.25 oz Cola
0.25 oz Milk

Honourable mentions go to Winnie the Pooh, Ted, Pookie (Garfield), Smacky (Get Fuzzy), Mr. Bear (Full House), and Bobo (The Simpsons). What’s your favourite stuffed animal from the entertainment world? It’s time to get cuddly!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot was pretty good, reminding me of a Cola float… and how could you go wrong with that! The Chocolate Syrup rim took me back to the days of stuffed animals with early morning cartoons and chocolate milk. You know, the good ol’ days!

October 22 – Angry Dan

Posted on October 22, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Festival Phooey

My little sippers, my thesis is simple: the price of some liquor events is insane!

Case in point, Mrs. Sip and I were looking forward to attending our first Vancouver Hopscotch event this November, even making peace with the $50 (plus tax and service charge) cost that came along with the whiskey and scotch lover’s dream experience. That is, until we began looking into just what exactly our near $60 entrance fee entailed.

All you get for your little nest egg of an investment is a souvenir glass and five drink tokens. FIVE tokens! That works out to more than $10 a pop for a little tiny sample. Sure, they bring in stuff from around the world (around 300 products), including some libations you may never have the chance to taste otherwise, but that’s ridiculous value for your hard-earned cash. It also sounded like some booths could charge you more than one token per sample. That could translate to paying $20 or more for a little sip of liquor that you might not even enjoy.

Similarly, I turned down invites this summer to go to the Vancouver Craft Beer Week Beer Festival, not because I had other plans, but because I didn’t agree with the perks of the event. For $35 (plus taxes and fees, of course), attendees received a miniscule three tokens and the typical commemorative taster glass. Why in the world would I pay $10-plus per beer sample, when I could go to many local bars and get the same brews in pint-size servings for the same price? Hell, why wouldn’t I invest that $10 towards an entire pack or case of beers, at any nearby liquor store?

Sure, it only cost $1.10 (they couldn’t just round it off at a buck!?) at Hopscotch and $1.25 at the VCBW Beer Festival, for additional tokens, but that’s just added charges on top of your already high dowry. And guess what, if you happen to get a little hungry, you still have to pay extra for any food that may or may not be available.

For events like these, I’d rather they nix the bands or other entertainment and souvenir glass (how many of these do I really need cluttering up my cupboards?) and give everyone 10 tokens… even then, you’re not getting good bang for your buck. I know many vendors don’t even ask for your ticket or token, but some people (ie. your faithful Sip Advisor) usually gives it up willingly, in order to avoid that awkward moment between server and drinker.

Liquor events aren’t all bad, though. Mrs. Sip and I, along with Ma and Pa Sip, attended the Portland Beer and Wine festival last Easter and what an amazing event that was. For only $20, we received a souvenir glass and a whopping 10 tokens that could be spent on beer, wine, spirits, food items, a used vehicle (okay, not that one), etc. And additional tokens were only $1! Not to mention the live entertainment and info sessions that were all part of the spectacle. We will be back, as info for the 2015 event is already online with deals such as $22 for entry, a glass (wine or beer), and 10 tokens. That’s on top of free entry to the first 500 visitors on the Friday.

Even in Canada, you can come across great events. In August, to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary, Mrs. Sip and I attended the Made with Love cocktail competition. We paid only $55 (the early bird price, but even full fare was only $65) and were treated to unlimited cocktail samples from 13 of the city’s top bartenders. On top of that, food was included and damnit, it was good. It still has me craving fried plantains!

Earlier the same summer, the Sip Alliance went to the annual Tip N’ Taste event in Langley, B.C. We had been a couple times many years before, but had lost interest when event organizers lost their way and dramatically raised prices to the event. This year, the price was back down to what it should be, $25. With that, attendees received five drink tokens and five food tokens with a great variety of vendors on both sides of the equation.

Well, now that I’ve cleared my conscious and had my little rant, let’s have a little drink together!

Sip Commentary #1: Angry Dan

2 oz Southern Comfort
2 oz Fireball Whiskey
Top with Cola
Garnish with a Lime Wheel

Want to get your own displeasure with liquor event pricing off your chest? Feel free to vent with a profanity-laced comment below!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
For this inaugural commentary (aka rant) post – more to come in the future – I wanted a drink that had the word “Angry” in it and coincidentally, this cocktail actually includes the Sip Advisor’s first name! The drink was quite nice with a soft burn at the end of each sip. The only downside is that it’s a typical liquor and mixer cocktail, lacking any real complexity.

October 18 – Ghostbuster

Posted on October 19, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Specter Spooks

With the haunting season just getting underway (although Halloween candy was already on sale during the summer), the Sip Advisor figured it was as good a time as any to delve into the paranormal world. There are so many great ghosts out there that I decided to split the list between animated and humanoid (aka live action) ghouls. This week, we go cartoon ghost hunting. I hope you join me because I’m already a little scared!

#5: The Boo Brothers – Scooby Doo Meets the Boo Brothers

I love these three broskis, who are like the departed spirits of the Three Stooges. Instead of Larry, Curly, and Moe, you have Meako, Shreako, and Freako, a trio of ghost hunters, who just happen to be spirits themselves. The only thing bringing their rank down a little is the fact they only appear in one Scooby Doo movie, but it is my favourite of all Scooby adventures. This tale sees Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy Doo travel to the estate of Colonel Beauregard, Shaggy’s deceased uncle, who has left everything to his nephew. While there, the gang has to search for the family jewels while solving the mystery of who is haunting the home.

#4: Boo – Super Mario Bros.

I always liked the creativity that went into the Super Mario Bros. ghost house levels. Avoiding the creepy little apparitions that only follow you when your back is turned added a whole new element of gameplay. There is also the massive King Boo, leader of all Boos, who you have to contend with from time to time. Boo became such a popular character that he joined the gang for their go-karting and board game adventures. His laugh when selected or after doing something naughty to another player is one of the best elements to choosing the spirited one.

#3: Slimer – Ghostbusters

This gelatinous blob is pretty disgusting when he makes his very first appearance in the halls of the Sedgewick Hotel, devouring a guest’s leftover room service, before sliming Ray Stantz and covering him with green goop (otherwise known as ectoplasm). Slimer really came into his own during the Ghostbusters cartoon, assisting the team in their escapades. Some quick trivia: Slimer was actually voiced by Ghostbusters director Ivan Reitman in the movies, and Dan Aykroyd referred to Slimer as the ghost of his good friend John Belushi, who was slated to star in the film before his death. Slimer was so popular, he even had his own toothpaste product released.

#2: Grimm Grinning Ghosts – Haunted Mansion

Delighting and spooking guests since 1969, the Grimm Grinning Ghosts of the Disney theme parks Haunted Mansion attractions are among numerous characters featured on the revolutionary ride. There is rumoured to be 999 happy haunts in each Haunted Mansion and they’re always looking for one more soul to join their party. Sometimes, a hitchhiking ghost may even hop into your doom buggy right before exiting the ride, so beware! Each park’s Haunted Mansion is themed differently and has its own unique storyline, with most characters seeming to have their own backstory. Guests are known to each have their own favourite.

#1: Casper – Casper the Friendly Ghost

He may be the ‘Friendly Ghost,’ but methinks there’s a dark side to the little guy. No one is “that” friendly without wanting something in return… just ask Mrs. Sip about my behaviour. Anyhoo, I love the parallel The Simpsons made comparing Casper to Richie Rich and wondering if the two were the same. That’s the kind of stuff that blows your mind and keeps you awake at night. Casper is sometimes tormented by his three uncles, the Ghostly Trio of Stretch, Stinky, and Fatso (although their names have varied over time), but Casper seems to have a good handle on things… until his much-rumoured inner darkness in unleashed!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Ghostbuster

0.5 oz Amarula Cream
0.5 oz Kahlua
Dropped into glass of:
1 oz Crown Royal Whiskey
Top with Cola

I have to say that I also love the use of ghosts in South Park, including Eric Cartman (thinking he had died from eating KFC and was stuck in limbo), Biggie Smalls, Edgar Allan Poe, and the host of recently deceased (at the time) personalities to appear in the episode Dead Celebrities. South Park… making death fun!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
It’s been a while since I did a drop shot drink and this one sounded pretty interesting. I envisioned an almost root beer float type effect occurring as everything mixed together, but that didn’t necessarily happen. The taste was decent, though and it looked cool watching everything meld.

India – Pitch Dark

Posted on June 19, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Father of a Nation

I could never go on a hunger strike. I love food and enjoy eating way too much to ever stop. Plus, I really don’t care about anything passionately enough to drop my utensils and lose inches from my waistline. In this way (and many others), Mahatma Gandhi and I differ. Gandhi, striving for the independence of India and looking to achieve it through non-violent means, advocated for social disobedience, as opposed to baring arms. Let’s learn a little more about the Father of India:

Mahatma isn’t actually Gandhi’s first name, as that is an honour that was bestowed upon him as early as 1914. It means “High-Souled” or “Venerable” in Sanskrit. He has also received the title Bapu, which translates to “Father” or “Papa” in Gujurati. Ghandi’s actual given name is Mohandas.

At the young age of 13, Ghandi was married to Kasturba Makanji. Of course, the nuptials were of the arranged variety, as the two had been engaged to one another from the age of seven. The two stayed together through four children and even Gandhi’s vow of celibacy, until Makanji died in 1944 at the age of 74.

Ghandi was hardly on the path to lead an entire nation as a youngster. He was so shy that he would run home from school every day, just to avoid speaking to anyone. Gandhi actually spoke English with a slight Irish accent, as one of his first teachers was from Ireland.

It was in South Africa, not India, that Ghandi first gained a reputation as a fighter for social justice. A lawyer by trade, Ghandi found work in the British- and Dutch-controlled country, where discrimination against Indians was rampant. Ghandi joined the cause for improved civil rights for Indians in South Africa, also developing his theory of “Satyagraha” (“Firmness in Truth”) and nonviolent protest. Ghandi was arrested multiple times before leaving the state in 1914 and returning to India to fight for India’s independence.

Ghandi loved to walk, which served him well for the Salt March of 1930, a 241 mile trek to the sea at Dandi. This was one of Gandhi’s most important actions on his rise to power and was triggered by the British levying a tax on salt. More than 60,000 Indians were arrested for their involvement with the protest.

On January 30, 1948, Gandhi was shot three times in the chest by a fellow Hindu, Nathuram Godse. Godse was upset by Gandhi’s acceptance of a plan to split India into two separate countries: India and Pakistan, feeling the leader catered to Pakistan too much. Godse was hung for his crime on November 15, 1949, along with co-conspirator Narayan Apte. Ironically, on the day of his death, the extremely punctual Ghandi was 10 minutes late for a prayer meeting. Following his death, Gandhi’s ashes were spread throughout the India, with one urn now residing at the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine in Los Angeles (this would mark Gandhi’s only trip to North America).

Nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize five times, Gandhi never received the award. He was being considered again in 1948, the year he was assassinated. That year, no Peace Prize was handed out, with the Nobel committee announcing that there was “no suitable living candidate.” Later winners of the Peace Prize, Martin Luther King Jr., Aung San SuuKyi, Nelson Mandela, Adolfo Perez Esquivel, and the 14th Dalai Lama all credited Gandhi as an inspiration. The Gandhi Peace Prize has been given out by the Indian government a total of 13 times since 1995, with Mandela being a former recipient.

Gandhi was named Time Magazine’s ‘Man of the Year’ in 1930 and was runner-up to Albert Einstein for ‘Person of the Century.’ Gandhi’s birthday of October 2nd has been granted the distinction of being ‘International Day of Nonviolence,’ while his death date of January 30th has become ‘School Day of Nonviolence and Peace.’

A movie based on Gandhi’s life was released in 1982. The film starred Ben Kingsley (aka The Sexy Beast) as the activist and politician. Gandhi won eight Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actor in a Leading Role for Kingsley. An interesting upcoming work called Welcome Back Gandhi will look at how Gandhi might approach modern day India and its issues.

Gandhi is a character in the cartoon Clone High, which takes numerous historical figures and puts them back in a high school being run as a secret U.S. government operation. He is joined by the likes of Abraham Lincoln, Joan of Arc, John F. Kennedy, Cleopatra, Genghis Khan, Julius Caesar, and others. This version of Gandhi, however, is a party animal, as opposed to the real Gandhi, a fact which upset Indians when they learned of the short-lived series.

After being influenced by Leo Tolstoy’s book, ‘The Kingdom of God is Within You,’ Ghandi became pen pals of sorts with the Russian author. Similarly, Henry Ford was an admirer of Gandhi and Gandhi even took the time to send Ford an autographed charkha. One other interesting note: the same carriage that held Gandhi’s body for his funeral was used again nearly 50 years later, in 1997, for Mother Teresa’s memorial.

India: Pitch Dark

2 oz Royal Challenge Whiskey
Top with Cola
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with Lemon Twist

I was going to discuss India’s reputation as a call center hub, but I got put on hold and went in the Gandhi direction, instead. In his honour, I will have a massive feast tonight and pour one out for my homies!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
It was quite difficult finding recipes specifically for Royal Challenge Whiskey. This is a pretty plain and simple cocktail, but it was one of the better drinks I could find that utilizes this specific whiskey. It was a good cocktail and exactly what you’d expect from the classic combination of ingredients. I only wish that more options for Royal Challenge existed.

South Africa – Brown Elephant

Posted on January 23, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Animal Crackers

Mrs. Sip and I hope to one day travel to South Africa and its neighbouring countries to enjoy a safari tour. I’ve always enjoyed the animatronic versions of the Jungle Cruise at the Disney Parks (even the corny jokes), so why not experience the real thing. I think my only issue with the entire trip would be encountering any snakes. The Black Mamba can kill 12 men within an hour it’s so venomous. While I hope to avoid the slithering folk as much as possible, here’s what I wouldn’t mind doing with some of the other inhabitants of the pride land!

Nap with Lions

Lions sleep about 20 hours each day, which sounds pretty awesome. Think about it, the ‘King of the Jungle’ sits atop the animal food chain, usually has a harem of lady kitties to choose from, and doesn’t really have to do anything to earn that power… that’s a pretty sweet existence. The lions could even keep you warm with the fur and playful mauling… um, I mean cuddling!

Stretch Out with Giraffes

I thoroughly enjoy a good stretch every now and again. When you’re as lazy as I claim to be (and I’m damn proud of it) you’ll find that stretching can be extremely rewarding and may even be the most exercise you experience is a week’s time. My favourite body part to stretch is my tongue. Keeping that organ limber has helped me be able to tie a cherry stem into a knot… yes, Mrs. Sip is a lucky lady!

Don’t Give a Shit with Honey Badgers

I have so much respect for these weasels. They are so bad ass that they can be bitten by a deadly snake, turn around and thrash that same serpent before eating it. They’re incredibly aggressive and persistent, often winning a fight by simply tiring their opposition. And then they walk around like they just don’t care. Teach me, oh wise honey badger.

Play Hungry Hungry Hippos with… well, Hippopotami!

Hippos are vegetarians, which means we better be competing for two different food supplies. I don’t want any damn vegetables on the game board unless they’re side dishes for a main course of some kind of animal. I guess veggies are still better than those little balls they’re trying to chomp in the classic board game. I don’t think plastic is easily digested by either human or hippo.

Stampede with Elephants

I certainly couldn’t retain water like elephants or go without drinking for long periods of time, but we could go for a run together and cause a little mayhem. I feel I’m far too mild-mannered in my life and perhaps there is much to learn from the elephants. They seem pretty docile until riled up and then watch out tree, you’re coming down.

Watch Stand-up Comedy with Hyenas

If you’re up for a good chuckle, why not enjoy some humour with a pack of hyenas. My only worry is that they won’t really get the jokes and will only cackle to not appear out of place. Don’t you hate those people? The ones who clearly don’t get it, but then over exaggerate their reaction just to be part of the moment. Typical hyenas…

Chew the Fat with Crocodiles

Sterling Archer’s second greatest fear is okay by me. That’s not to say I want to go for an underwater roll with it… I like my fresh air, thank you very much (although I can drink a beer underwater, so maybe I am part amphibious!?). I wish I had a set of chompers like a croc. That would make devouring everything from meat to caramels that much easier.

Gore Things with Rhinos

I think I’d be great at smashing into things with my head. I have been known to be stubborn and hard-headed and also have eradicated much of my brain cells, thereby making any concussion issues non-existent. I often get Mrs. Sip’s attention by butting my head into her shoulder. She doesn’t appreciate this very much, but it is a sincere sign of love on my part.

Evolve with Gorillas

I think it’s pretty amazing that us humans come from primates. Perhaps, and keep in mind I only play a scientist on TV, it’s the other way around and gorillas evolved from humans. If the Planet of the Apes franchise has taught me anything, it’s that gorillas probably wouldn’t take too kindly to me infiltrating their ranks and would outwit me with their vast intelligence and moxie.

Blend in with Zebras

These masters of disguises sure know how to disappear within their environment. As an introvert personality type, I sure could learn a lot by mimicking their blending techniques. That way, I could go to an unlimited number of parties and never be bugged by people trying to engage in small talk. I think people have grown tired of my shifty eyes and one word answers. I’m really only there to drink, anyway!

South Africa: Brown Elephant

2 oz Amarula
Top with Milk and Cola
Garnish with a Chocolate Stick

What would you like to do with the animals of the safari? One thing you probably want to avoid is spreading diseases with mosquitos… like a drug, it can be a hard world to extricate yourself from and you’ll probably have to go through a rehabilitation regime to get yourself back to normal.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I decided to use Chocolate Milk with this recipe, harkening back to my early days as a wee little sipper when the first cocktail I ever created was called Zap and mixed Chocolate Milk with Cola. Add in that wonderful Amarula cream liqueur and you had one very happy Sip Advisor!

November 29 – Black Friday

Posted on November 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bloody Friday

I’ve never taken part in a Black Friday shopping event, at home or abroad. I don’t like crowds, waking up early, and the idea of fighting over limited deals. I did do Boxing Day shopping on a couple of occasions when Mrs. Sip and I were in our early dating years and those were bad enough that we fazed them out. Good thing, too, here are some of the craziest Black Friday stories!

Door Crashers

In 2008, a 34-year-old Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death in Valley Stream, New York when Black Friday consumers stampeded into the store. Shoppers continued to pour into the location, despite the injury and co-workers trying to stop the rush and help their fallen comrade. Even police where shoved by deal-seekers as they tried to assist on the scene. A pregnant woman was also hurt in the incident, begging the question: what the hell was she doing there in the first place!?

Toys R’ Us Kid

On the same day, across the country, two people were shot and killed following an altercation at a Toys ‘R’ Us store in Palm Desert, California. As two women began fighting, their respective male counterparts pulled guns on each other and ended up killing one another (no loss there!). The incident was said to be more personal than a fight over merchandise and could have been gang-related. When I go to Toys ‘R’ Us, I’m always packing heat!

Cutting Edge

In 2010, a woman was arrested outside a Toys ‘R’ Us (what is with people shopping for their kids?) in Madison, Wisconsin after cutting in line and threatening to shoot people who objected to her budging. No cuts, no butts, no coconuts, am I right! Lanessa Lattimore was quoted as saying, “I just wanted to get my daughter the toy that she wanted for Christmas, which probably won’t be there when I go today.” Did ya think they might restock sometime in the next month!?

Pour Some Pepper On Me

In Porter Ranch, California, in 2011, a woman used pepper spray on fellow shoppers to “get an advantage” on them over discounted Xbox 360 video game systems. This was in a wealthy suburb, of all places! The attack injured about 20 shoppers and unfortunately, the perpetrator got away in the chaos… whether she was also able to grab her prized Xbox is unknown. You have to hope that at some point, karma comes back to haunt this loser.

‘Tis the Season

In 2011, Walter Vance, 61, collapsed after entering a Target store on Black Friday and later died in hospital from a previously known heart condition. These things happen, but the tragedy comes when people stepped over the man and continued their shopping while he was in distress. I have to point out, if you know you have a heart condition, why in the hell are you joining the madness of Black Friday… and this dude should have known better, he was a freakin’ pharmacist! Worst yet, apparently all he wanted was Christmas decorations. As if those couldn’t have waited!

Parking Wars

Sometimes folks don’t even get into the stores before violence breaks out on Black Friday. Two people were shot outside a Wal-Mart in Tallahassee, Florida after a dispute over a parking spot. I think one of the things I hate most in life is crowded parking lots and the whole pursuit of a suitable spot. I know I’m far from the only one who gets put on edge as you spend countless time going up and down aisles hoping for an opening and when you finally find one, you feel like celebrating… with gun shots!

Love at First Line

Things aren’t all bad, though, on Black Friday. In 1991, two random people lined up outside a K-Mart in Valley Stream, New York and made small talk as they waited for seven hours for the store’s doors to open. Two years later, they married and in 2009, Matthew and Michaelle Tulloch, won a $1,000 shopping spree at Best Buy for sharing their story in an essay contest. The couple now has two kids and celebrates every Black Friday the same way they spent that fateful day in 1991.

Drink #333: Black Friday

1.5 oz Bourbon (I used Jim Beam Black Cherry)
Top with half Ginger Ale and half Cola
Splash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Crushed Lime Wedges

Did you know that the last Friday before Christmas has also been dubbed ‘Black Friday’ in the United Kingdom, due to it being a popular night for office Christmas parties and the resulting need for emergency services following hard drinking and an increase in fights!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really liked this cocktail thanks to its taste and simplicity. My favourite touch of the entire recipe is to use Crushed Lime Wedges which are meant to honour the many that have been trampled attending these Black Friday sales. I thought that was such a great idea and tried to reflect that in my work.

November 11 – Dirty Martini

Posted on November 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Hall of Fame

Recently, I got the idea of building my own shrine to immortal alcohols. These spirits have meant a great deal to me and have made me the Sip Advisor I am today. So, without further ado, here is the inaugural Sip Advisor Liquor Hall of Fame Class!

Sailor Jerry’s Spiced Rum

I’ve always enjoyed spiced rums, but none more so than Sailor Jerry’s. A definite highlight in my relationship with the spirit was a booth along Las Vegas’ Fremont Street Experience, where free pour drinks that were upwards of 60% Sailor Jerry’s were enjoyed in copious amounts. Sadly, on my last visit, that booth was nowhere to be found… but they can’t take my memories!

Crown Royal Whiskey

A true Canadian classic, akin to actor Leslie Nielsen, musician Neil Young, and the Tim Horton’s donut franchise! Crown Royal is a wonderful whiskey that has played a large role in the Sip Advisor’s life and career as a liquor jockey. When a recipe calls for whiskey, it’s hard for me to not instinctively go for the Crown Royal, sitting high and mighty in its top shelf perch.

Bacardi Light Rum

Bacardi Light Rum was training wheels for me, as I entered the booze world in my teenage years. Ma and Pa Sip were regular rum and coke drinkers and like parents like son, I took up the family business. I can’t remember how many times I filled up a flask of Bacardi before heading out to a party. A tradition I will one day pass down to my own little sippers!

Fireball Whiskey

This is my go-to flask filler, perfect for weddings, camping, and nights out on the town. If you’re ever in the need for a little nip of something to get the party started or warm up in inclement weather, Fireball is the perfect tonic to get your motor running. I’ve even converted little sippers to the joys of the whiskey thanks to my great reputation as a sharer.

1800 Añejo Tequila

Mrs. Sip and I were first introduced to 1800 on a group trip to Mexico for New Year’s 2012. In the land of tequila, one fine product emerged for us, combining a wonderful taste with a very reasonable price point. We have since returned to Mexico and tracked down the 1800 Añejo again and it won’t be long before we have to repeat the process a third time.

Granville Island Brewery

The beer wing’s first entrant has to be the offerings of the Granville Island Brewery. From their Raspberry and Wheat Ales to their Lager and Honey Lager entries, not much comes out of the GIB kitchen that doesn’t pass the Sip Advisor’s stringent testing methods. I look forward to many more years of brewing goodness from this micro-brewery.

Cola

We finish the evening with our first hall of fame inductee among the mixer category. It’s a pretty obvious choice. My first drinks all included cola (of the Pepsi variety, of course). Whether it was a straight up rum and coke or the adventurous Long Island Iced Tea, cola has always been there for me and I’ll never forget its friendship, love, and support.

Drink #315: Dirty Martini

2 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire East)
0.25 oz Dry Vermouth
Splash of Olive Juice
Garnish with Olives

As with most hall of fames, a stringent voting process was needed to decide which drinking elements earned their way into these hallowed halls. Thankfully, an entire panel of top journalists and other prominent alcohol figures all reside in my head. Congrats to all the honourees.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
A star-studded event like saluting the 2013 hall of fame class needs a classy drink and so I went for the Dirty Martini. You can make this cocktail with either Gin or Vodka. I decided to go with the Gin variant, as that is the traditional method. One recipe noted to fill your martini glass with an ice cube and some water before placing in the fridge for a few minutes to let the chalice chill. This cocktail is certainly not for everyone. However, I like Olive Juice and I love Gin. Put the two together and the results are actually quite pleasant. I can see why this is such a popular martini to many people.

October 27 – Dracula’s Kiss

Posted on October 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Long and Winding Road

Well, my little sippers, here we sit, at the precipice to 300 drinks. It is a time of remembrance, of celebration, of extreme joy! I’m so happy to share these moments with you. Let’s do a quick group hug and get on with the awards!

Most Difficult Drink

I’m not sure all you little sippers know how hard I work in my pursuit of perfection for this site. And that’s not to say you should know, or even care. All I’m stating is that the effort I put into this site rivals and often surpasses my quality of work at my real job. I love you folks that much!

Nominees: Wicked Witch of the East (tracking down of garnish and layering issues); Roasted Mellow (had to hollow out marshmallow, which couldn’t always hold the liquor long enough); Jell-O Shot (they were fun to make once I had a process down, but took a fair bit of time)

Winner: Wicked Witch of the East – First, I delayed this drink multiple times because I couldn’t track down a suitable broomstick garnish to be used as a stir stick. Then, I went ahead and made one myself and I am not an arts and crafts buff. We’re not even getting into how the layering effect didn’t work because the broomstick was frustrating enough!

Best Site Searches

It will be hard to top the last two victors: “how do I get a blow job at new york new york las vegas” and “how to use trollop in a sentence”, but I’m sure there are some game applicants out there. Sometimes I’m baffled that certain searches have led readers to this site… like these gems!

Nominees: puppies farting green air; is adrenalin responsible for making a body fly in the air when electrocuted; jimmy snuka porno; sensual woman stripper in ms santa claus costume; how to complain about a sip advisor

Winner: “how to complain about a sip advisor” – What have I done to offend this little sipper? Is there a process for complaining about me? Which board would complaints about my work (few as they may be) be delivered to? So many unanswered questions, but you can bet this member of Sip Nation will have their membership revoked.

Best Garnish

The garnish game is something I enjoy, but also find vexing at times. When I don’t have the ingredients I want/need or they aren’t behaving how I’d like them to, it can be tough. Somehow, we get the job done, night in and night out. I hope you all appreciate the results.

Nominees: Skittles, Toasted Marshmallow, Fish Candies

Winner: Fish Candies (used on Water of Life) – Thanks to Ma Sip for letting me borrow some of the fish candies she always has out for guests during the summer pool months. The trick to getting them to cooperate with this drink was to alternate between layers of ice and then a couple fish, so as to make it look like the candies were swimming.

Top Shot

I love our Super Saturday Shot Day page; a place where I can assemble the best shooters from around the world. Check it out sometime for some recipes that will turn your drinking night upside down!

Nominees: Kinky Tease, Rainbow Cookie, Bazooka Joe

Winner: Kinky Tease – I mean, come on, of course I’m going to give the nod to a shot I invented myself! I did what any good barkeep would, put together two liqueurs (Kinky and Pomegranate) that taste good on their own and figured they’d be even better united. Mission accomplished!

Best Photo

I’ve taken over the reins of photo taking and editing at the Sip Advisor headquarters, pushing Mrs. Sip out of her positions with the company. While we thank Mrs. Sip for her service in those areas, there were simply other positions I preferred to put her in… if you catch my drift! Check out our Drink Menu for complete photo listings!

Nominees: Drunk Monkey, Happy Birthday-Tini, Campfire Martini

Winner: Happy Birthday-Tini – There wasn’t a clear-cut favourite this time around, as there had been for our 200th drink awards. That said, I love how the sprinkles highlighted this delicious drink. The whole package really made my birthday cocktail a perfect celebratory piece!

Best Drink

As usual, we finish the evening with our top award, Best Drink. Previous winners have included the PAMA-Jama and Raspberry Mojito. Like the Oscars, we have expanded our nominees for this award so they can all claim that they were Sippy-nominated!

Nominees: Happy Birthday-Tini, Village Idiot, Wonderful Night, Old Fashioned, Undercover Squirrel

Winner: Wonderful Night – I had to go with this cocktail because of how all the ingredients (there’s six of them) came together to surprise the pallet with notes of everything from peppermint to vanilla to citrus. Each sip was a new adventure!

Drink #300: Dracula’s Kiss

Rim glass with Grenadine
1.5 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
Top with Cola
Splash of Grenadine
Garnish with Garlic Clove

This may very well be the last awards ceremony of this project, but fear not, my little sippers, I have big plans in store for 2014 and beyond!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve wanted to try the Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka with Cola for some time and this was finally my chance. They work pretty well together. I thought the Garlic garnish was a clever little touch! My only disappointment with the drink was how the Grenadine Rim looked good in actuality, but didn’t really translate to photo form.

October 26 – Bazooka Joe

Posted on October 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tales from the Candy-keeper

There are numerous urban legends based on candy. Here are some of the juicier tales out there:

Recharge on Mars

Rockers sure know how to party. That’s why this legend involving Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, singer Marianne Faithfull, and a Mars chocolate bar persisted for so long. When a party at guitarist Keith Richards’ home was broken up by police, rumours began flying that Jagger was interrupted while eating a Mars bar that was inside Ms. Faithfull (I’ll let your imaginations put that one together). The story was entirely untrue, but I bet Mars bar sales skyrocketed, with deprived lovers looking to spice up their sex life!

You’re right, Mick! It is a pretty funny story!

Pop Rock N’ Roll

As the story goes, if you mix Pop Rocks with Cola, this diabolic concoction would cause you to explode. The legend was enhanced when people claimed that Mikey, the Life Cereal ad campaign kid (you know, “Hey, Mikey likes it!”) was an original victim of the blast. A similar tale has recently surrounded Mentos and Cola, because the two products do combine to create fizz and can launch a bottle into orbit. The cute Pepsi girl of the 90’s was said to be a casualty. In both cases, no one has actually died from ingesting the two items together.

Hole-in-One

Creator Clarence Crane was said to have designed Life Savers with a hold in the middle after his daughter tragically died choking on a candy. The hole was to allow oxygen to pass through a person’s body, even if stuck in one’s throat. The reality, however, is quite a bit different. Crane fashioned his new invention after the floatable inner tubes that were becoming all the rage following the Titanic disaster in 1912.

All Wrapped Up

Legend had it, that if you found an image of Indian, complete with bow and arrow, on your Tootsie Roll or Pop wrapper, you would be the recipient of any number of prizes, ranging from Tootsie treats for life to a new bicycle to unimaginable wealth and celebrity (I added that last one myself!). I would have loved to have found that Indian, as I very much enjoy the Tootsie products. Sadly, the story is completely fabricated.

Jaw Dropper

It’s hard to believe this one is actually true, but it has been verified by the fine folks at MythBusters. If you place one of those massive jawbreakers in the microwave it will explode. Why someone would ever put a jawbreaker into the microwave is a yet-to-be answered question, but here’s my theory: why not. Those jawbreakers are a pain in the ass (or more aptly, mouth) to get through and perhaps someone tried to accelerate the process.

Spider Yum

When Bubble Yum gum hit the market and became quite popular, stories began to circulate that the gum contained such grossities as spider eggs, spider legs, or spider webbing. These were all probably started by a rival gum company in hopes of curtailing the popularity of the world’s first soft gum. Bubble Yum’s parent company fought these rumours publicly with full-page newspaper ads ensuring people of the quality of their product. Most people actually listened and Bubble Yum lived on.

Razor’s Edge

Remember when we were all wee little sippers and when we returned home our parents sifted through our well-earned Halloween stash (probably contemplating which treats they’d take for themselves) to make sure there was no evidence of tampering? Good thing they did. In 2000, James Joseph Smith stuck needles into Snickers bars he planned to hand out and one boy bit into the chocolate bar. Smith was arrested and charged with adulterating a substance with the intent to cause harm… asshole!

Pick Your Poison

Similarly, the threat of poisoned candy given out at Halloween has always existed, but the only evidence of this occurring happened when some sick bastards poisoned their own children, including one loser who laced his kid’s Pixy Stix with cyanide to collect a $20,000 life insurance policy. Most cases were just overeating by the public (no surprise there) and not waiting to hear the actual results of why someone became sick.

Drink #299: Bazooka Joe

Rim glass with Bubble Gum
0.5 oz Irish Crème
0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
0.5 oz Blue Curacao

Are there any candy urban legends you’d like to pass my way? I’m a skeptical one, but I’ll give it a chance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this shooter and always have. Truth be known, when I was taken out on my 19th birthday for my first legal drinks, this was the first shot that was ever ordered for me. I still marvel at how these three ingredients combine to fake the taste of bubble gum, but somehow it all comes together.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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