October 27 – Dracula’s Kiss

Long and Winding Road

Well, my little sippers, here we sit, at the precipice to 300 drinks. It is a time of remembrance, of celebration, of extreme joy! I’m so happy to share these moments with you. Let’s do a quick group hug and get on with the awards!

Most Difficult Drink

I’m not sure all you little sippers know how hard I work in my pursuit of perfection for this site. And that’s not to say you should know, or even care. All I’m stating is that the effort I put into this site rivals and often surpasses my quality of work at my real job. I love you folks that much!

Nominees: Wicked Witch of the East (tracking down of garnish and layering issues); Roasted Mellow (had to hollow out marshmallow, which couldn’t always hold the liquor long enough); Jell-O Shot (they were fun to make once I had a process down, but took a fair bit of time)

Winner: Wicked Witch of the East – First, I delayed this drink multiple times because I couldn’t track down a suitable broomstick garnish to be used as a stir stick. Then, I went ahead and made one myself and I am not an arts and crafts buff. We’re not even getting into how the layering effect didn’t work because the broomstick was frustrating enough!

Oct 17

Best Site Searches

It will be hard to top the last two victors: “how do I get a blow job at new york new york las vegas” and “how to use trollop in a sentence”, but I’m sure there are some game applicants out there. Sometimes I’m baffled that certain searches have led readers to this site… like these gems!

Nominees: puppies farting green air; is adrenalin responsible for making a body fly in the air when electrocuted; jimmy snuka porno; sensual woman stripper in ms santa claus costume; how to complain about a sip advisor

Winner: “how to complain about a sip advisor” – What have I done to offend this little sipper? Is there a process for complaining about me? Which board would complaints about my work (few as they may be) be delivered to? So many unanswered questions, but you can bet this member of Sip Nation will have their membership revoked.

Best Garnish

The garnish game is something I enjoy, but also find vexing at times. When I don’t have the ingredients I want/need or they aren’t behaving how I’d like them to, it can be tough. Somehow, we get the job done, night in and night out. I hope you all appreciate the results.

Nominees: Skittles, Toasted Marshmallow, Fish Candies

Winner: Fish Candies (used on Water of Life) – Thanks to Ma Sip for letting me borrow some of the fish candies she always has out for guests during the summer pool months. The trick to getting them to cooperate with this drink was to alternate between layers of ice and then a couple fish, so as to make it look like the candies were swimming.

Aug 4

Top Shot

I love our Super Saturday Shot Day page; a place where I can assemble the best shooters from around the world. Check it out sometime for some recipes that will turn your drinking night upside down!

Nominees: Kinky TeaseRainbow Cookie, Bazooka Joe

Winner: Kinky Tease – I mean, come on, of course I’m going to give the nod to a shot I invented myself! I did what any good barkeep would, put together two liqueurs (Kinky and Pomegranate) that taste good on their own and figured they’d be even better united. Mission accomplished!

Best Photo

I’ve taken over the reins of photo taking and editing at the Sip Advisor headquarters, pushing Mrs. Sip out of her positions with the company. While we thank Mrs. Sip for her service in those areas, there were simply other positions I preferred to put her in… if you catch my drift! Check out our Drink Menu for complete photo listings!

Nominees: Drunk Monkey, Happy Birthday-Tini, Campfire Martini

Winner: Happy Birthday-Tini – There wasn’t a clear-cut favourite this time around, as there had been for our 200th drink awards. That said, I love how the sprinkles highlighted this delicious drink. The whole package really made my birthday cocktail a perfect celebratory piece!

Sept 22

Best Drink

As usual, we finish the evening with our top award, Best Drink. Previous winners have included the PAMA-Jama and Raspberry Mojito. Like the Oscars, we have expanded our nominees for this award so they can all claim that they were Sippy-nominated!

Nominees: Happy Birthday-Tini, Village Idiot, Wonderful Night, Old Fashioned, Undercover Squirrel

Winner: Wonderful Night – I had to go with this cocktail because of how all the ingredients (there’s six of them) came together to surprise the pallet with notes of everything from peppermint to vanilla to citrus. Each sip was a new adventure!

Drink #300: Dracula’s Kiss

Dracula's Kiss Martini

  • Rim glass with Grenadine
  • 1.5 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
  • Top with Cola
  • Splash of Grenadine
  • Garnish with Garlic Clove

This may very well be the last awards ceremony of this project, but fear not, my little sippers, I have big plans in store for 2014 and beyond!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve wanted to try the Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka with Cola for some time and this was finally my chance. They work pretty well together. I thought the Garlic garnish was a clever little touch! My only disappointment with the drink was how the Grenadine Rim looked good in actuality, but didn’t really translate to photo form.

October 16 – Old Fashioned

Bucket List

The day before my 30th birthday, I shared with all you little sippers my 30-for-30 accomplishments. Today, I’m going to look deep into my own soul and reveal some of the things I still want to accomplish. I can’t share everything, though, as there’s only so much the FCC will let my divulge!

Homer's Bucket List

Fly First Class – After all my jet-setting around the world, I have never enjoyed the pleasures of first class… that will have to change!

Touch a Snake – I’m not shy in admitting that I’m afraid of snakes. I fully intend to work up the courage (or intoxication level) to finally touch one, even if only briefly.

Go Skydiving – This is one thrill that has eluded me and I’ve found a number of people who want to join in this accomplishment. Let’s get it done folks!

Learn to Play the Drums – Like all my idols before me (John Bonham, Danny Bonaduce, Animal from the Muppets), drumming is in my soul and I’d love to learn it more than my mastering of the Rock Band game controller version.

kitten-has-drum-set

Visit Antarctica – Mrs. Sip and I will virtually travel anywhere, but hitting Antarctica would give us our seventh and final continent!

Compete in Endurance Event – Whether it is Tough Mudder or some other course, I’m game for a little self-punishment.

Get a Doctorate – Not the real thing, of course, but one of those celebrity dealies!

Attend a Stanley Cup Parade – Preferably in my hometown (sans riot), as the Vancouver Canucks hoist the NHL championship.

Canucks Fans Stanley Cup

Perform Stand-up Comedy – I’m not saying I’ll be a success, but I’d love to work up the courage just once to hit the stage and tell a few jokes before I’m barred from performing ever again!

Rent a House Boat – The Sip Advisor loves to party… and he loves being on the water. Put the two together and get the gang together for a wild time off the grid!

Create a Man-Cave – I think it’s every man’s dream to create their own mancave, dedicated to the worship of hot women, sports, alcohol, games, and everything manly.

Publish a Book – If there are any publishing people out there, you know how wickedly awesome this site is. Let’s make it into a book and share the cocktail goodness.

sell-ebook

Travel into Space – This is another objective that both Mrs. Sip and I share. We’re hoping mass space tourism eventually happens in our lifetime (not the pay $20-$40 million type) and we’ll be quick to snatch up tickets.

Create my own Alcohol – And I’m not talking about one of those home brew kits… I want to invent, manufacture, and market my own spirit. All I need is a rich benefactor and we’ll be off to the races!

Get a Tattoo – I have this image in my head of my little buddy Furious B (he’s a cat) eating a potato chip that I must make real! Just kidding, I do have a design in mind, just waiting for the right time to get inked.

tattoo-funny

Do a Cliff Dive – Always one to take a shot at various danger sports, this is a goal I hope to accomplish in some exotic locale… an exotic locale that recognizes my health insurance, that is.

Catch a Fish – Despite fishing a few times when I was younger, I have still yet to snag a catch. Although we did find a starfish in a self-made crab trap I helped with recently. Does that count?

Be in a Food Fight – I would harness my best inner-Bluto Blutarsky and go wild with the ranch dressing. It may sting the eyes, making it the perfect food fight projectile!

Drink #289: Old Fashioned

Old Fashioned Drink Recipe

  • 2 oz Bourbon/Whiskey (I used Apple Pie Moonshine)
  • 1 Sugar Cube
  • 2 Orange Slices
  • Dashes Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with Maraschino Cherry & Orange Slice

What else do you think should be on the Sip Advisor’s bucket list? I eagerly await your advice!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
I picked this classic recipe from a couple cocktail bucket lists, as it’s one I’ve intended to do with this project all along. My choice of using Apple Pie Moonshine may break some of the rules for this drink, but it tasted absolutely delicious. This may be my favourite classic beverage so far, as the Apple Pie flavour mixed well with the Orange Slices and Maraschino Cherry. Just plain ol’ good drinking!

January 9 – Appletini

Signature Drinks

ChristopherDaniels-Appletini

One of my favourite wrestlers – yeah, that’s right, I watch wrestling, so what of it? I like to watch a good slobber-knocker every now and again, while sipping back the booze… mmm, booze… wait, where was I? As I was saying, one of my favourite wrestlers of all time, the ‘Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels, started a gimmick recently in which he’s always seen with an Appletini during interviews and even while coming down to the ring. This got me thinking (and drinking) about the Appletini, of course, and also about the characters out there that are associated with a particular drink, frequently having it in their possession.

Julian – Trailer Park Boys (Rum & Coke)

Julian rum and coke

It is a rare sight to see Julian without a rum and coke in his hands and there were many times throughout the run of Trailer Park Boys when viewers marveled over the tasks he was able to complete while not spilling his coveted beverage. Among them, playing street hockey and running from the cops in a high-speed chase.

Ron Swanson – Parks & Recreation (Scotch)

Tough as nails, Ron Swanson refuses to drink anything but Lagavulin Scotch. Only once has he departed from his nectar-of-choice, after co-worker Tom Haverford designed snake juice (described as a high-end Kahlua style liquor by its creator, but as basically rat poison by others – to be discussed in a future post on invented drinks) and bet Ron he would love it. Ron did and the result was the video posted below.

The Dude – The Big Lebowski (White Russian)

The Dude white russian

Throughout the movie, The Big Lebowski, The Dude enjoys nine White Russian cocktails. There’s even a drinking game out there, where players are supposed to have a White Russian every time The Dude has one. That’s an impressive feat and could be a future Liquor Challenge for myself (coming soon to The Sip Advisor)!

Don Draper – Mad Men (Old Fashioned)

Sorry, Don... no photo for you!

Sorry, Don… no photo for you!

Mad Men sucks… sorry, it had to be said. I love how my site can be a platform for me to hate things! I’d start writing about Mr. Draper, his drink of choice and his show, but too many words have been wasted on—

(see what I did there?)

Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City (Cosmopolitan)

Carrie Bradshaw cosmo

The ladies of Sex and the City revitalized this cocktail after making it their favourite libation. As I recently wrote in my Cosmo post, I do enjoy this drink and for that, I guess I have to thank Carrie and company for making it so popular in restaurants. In return for my gesture of gratefulness, I only ask that there be no more Sex and the City movies. Deal?

Ron Burgundy – Anchorman (Scotch)

Ron Burgundy scotch

“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” That is one of many amazingly funny quotes about scotch in Anchorman. I can’t wait for the Anchorman sequel, where I’m sure Ron will get back to his womanizing, scotch-loving ways. Stay classy, San Diego!

Burton Mercer – The Blues Brothers (Orange Whip)

The 'Orange Whip' isn't pictured, but you can tell that this guy is a booze hound!

The ‘Orange Whip’ isn’t pictured, but you can tell that this guy is a booze hound!

Mercer’s drinking of this beverage even inspired a renaissance of sorts for it. I definitely need to steal his way of asking who wants a drink. He basically makes a drink for each time he asks if anyone wants one and then likely enjoys them all, himself. “Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.” Ha, classic!

James Bond – James Bond Series (Vodka Martini/Vesper: shaken, not stirred)

james-bond-vesper-martini

Everybody has done the “shaken, not stirred” joke at some point in their life. We get it, you watch movies and can quote one of the shortest and most misinformed lines featured on the silver screen. The funny thing is that the way Mr. Bond has his drink constructed, is actually incorrect. Anytime you are only using alcohols, with no mixers involved, it’s recommended that you stir your ingredients, rather than shake, so as not to bruise the alcohol too much and diminish its taste. Tisk, tisk, James…

And finally…

J.D. – Scrubs (Appletini, easy on the tini)

JD appletini

And now we come full circle! Like wrestler, Christopher Daniels, J.D. on Scrubs loved his Appletinis. Despite the fact most bartenders mistook him for being female, as a result of his drink order, J.D. would not be deterred and that takes some balls. J.D. even paid $105 for an Appletini once, but found it a little too light on the ‘tini’. Let’s salute J.D. and make him a proper one.

Drink #9: Appletini

Appletini

The best part about putting this piece together is that it has inspired me to make some cocktails I had previously never tried. I’ve always wanted to try the Bond-styled martini – although I’ll be stirring my ingredients, thank you very much – and the Orange Whip intrigues me, as well. I also have never had a true old fashioned yet, but I will certainly not be thinking about ‘the show that shall not be named’ when I enjoy the classic concoction.

Have I missed anything? Did I neglect your favourite character and their drink of choice? Drop me a line and chew me out, just make sure to have fun with your insults. Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I like the Appletini… there, I said it. That sour apple flavour, while not my favourite, is quite tasty. One must always be sure to use sour green apples for this recipe. I guess you could use red or golden delicious, but what would be the point.