October 27 – Dracula’s Kiss

Long and Winding Road

Well, my little sippers, here we sit, at the precipice to 300 drinks. It is a time of remembrance, of celebration, of extreme joy! I’m so happy to share these moments with you. Let’s do a quick group hug and get on with the awards!

Most Difficult Drink

I’m not sure all you little sippers know how hard I work in my pursuit of perfection for this site. And that’s not to say you should know, or even care. All I’m stating is that the effort I put into this site rivals and often surpasses my quality of work at my real job. I love you folks that much!

Nominees: Wicked Witch of the East (tracking down of garnish and layering issues); Roasted Mellow (had to hollow out marshmallow, which couldn’t always hold the liquor long enough); Jell-O Shot (they were fun to make once I had a process down, but took a fair bit of time)

Winner: Wicked Witch of the East – First, I delayed this drink multiple times because I couldn’t track down a suitable broomstick garnish to be used as a stir stick. Then, I went ahead and made one myself and I am not an arts and crafts buff. We’re not even getting into how the layering effect didn’t work because the broomstick was frustrating enough!

Oct 17

Best Site Searches

It will be hard to top the last two victors: “how do I get a blow job at new york new york las vegas” and “how to use trollop in a sentence”, but I’m sure there are some game applicants out there. Sometimes I’m baffled that certain searches have led readers to this site… like these gems!

Nominees: puppies farting green air; is adrenalin responsible for making a body fly in the air when electrocuted; jimmy snuka porno; sensual woman stripper in ms santa claus costume; how to complain about a sip advisor

Winner: “how to complain about a sip advisor” – What have I done to offend this little sipper? Is there a process for complaining about me? Which board would complaints about my work (few as they may be) be delivered to? So many unanswered questions, but you can bet this member of Sip Nation will have their membership revoked.

Best Garnish

The garnish game is something I enjoy, but also find vexing at times. When I don’t have the ingredients I want/need or they aren’t behaving how I’d like them to, it can be tough. Somehow, we get the job done, night in and night out. I hope you all appreciate the results.

Nominees: Skittles, Toasted Marshmallow, Fish Candies

Winner: Fish Candies (used on Water of Life) – Thanks to Ma Sip for letting me borrow some of the fish candies she always has out for guests during the summer pool months. The trick to getting them to cooperate with this drink was to alternate between layers of ice and then a couple fish, so as to make it look like the candies were swimming.

Aug 4

Top Shot

I love our Super Saturday Shot Day page; a place where I can assemble the best shooters from around the world. Check it out sometime for some recipes that will turn your drinking night upside down!

Nominees: Kinky TeaseRainbow Cookie, Bazooka Joe

Winner: Kinky Tease – I mean, come on, of course I’m going to give the nod to a shot I invented myself! I did what any good barkeep would, put together two liqueurs (Kinky and Pomegranate) that taste good on their own and figured they’d be even better united. Mission accomplished!

Best Photo

I’ve taken over the reins of photo taking and editing at the Sip Advisor headquarters, pushing Mrs. Sip out of her positions with the company. While we thank Mrs. Sip for her service in those areas, there were simply other positions I preferred to put her in… if you catch my drift! Check out our Drink Menu for complete photo listings!

Nominees: Drunk Monkey, Happy Birthday-Tini, Campfire Martini

Winner: Happy Birthday-Tini – There wasn’t a clear-cut favourite this time around, as there had been for our 200th drink awards. That said, I love how the sprinkles highlighted this delicious drink. The whole package really made my birthday cocktail a perfect celebratory piece!

Sept 22

Best Drink

As usual, we finish the evening with our top award, Best Drink. Previous winners have included the PAMA-Jama and Raspberry Mojito. Like the Oscars, we have expanded our nominees for this award so they can all claim that they were Sippy-nominated!

Nominees: Happy Birthday-Tini, Village Idiot, Wonderful Night, Old Fashioned, Undercover Squirrel

Winner: Wonderful Night – I had to go with this cocktail because of how all the ingredients (there’s six of them) came together to surprise the pallet with notes of everything from peppermint to vanilla to citrus. Each sip was a new adventure!

Drink #300: Dracula’s Kiss

Dracula's Kiss Martini

  • Rim glass with Grenadine
  • 1.5 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
  • Top with Cola
  • Splash of Grenadine
  • Garnish with Garlic Clove

This may very well be the last awards ceremony of this project, but fear not, my little sippers, I have big plans in store for 2014 and beyond!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve wanted to try the Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka with Cola for some time and this was finally my chance. They work pretty well together. I thought the Garlic garnish was a clever little touch! My only disappointment with the drink was how the Grenadine Rim looked good in actuality, but didn’t really translate to photo form.

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October 5 – Kinky Tease

Fetish Frenzy

There’s some weird stuff going on out there in love land… but weird can be good. Everyone has their own thing that gets their motor running and who am I to judge. That said, here are some of the odd fetishes in this mad, mad world!

Nyotaimori – The Japanese tradition of eating sushi off a naked person platter. Thankfully it is usually done on a woman’s body, because I can just see so many close calls when someone is looking for that tuna or salmon nigiri and grabs the wrong piece.

nyotaimori couple

Oh good, you can do it in couples… I hope Mrs. Sip is as interested in being a sushi tray as I am!

Plushophilia – More commonly known as Furries, these folks get their mojo rising when people dress up as animals, preferably of the stuffed variety. I have to ask, do they then strip out of the outfits to get to each other’s fun bits… or would that just ruin the illusion!?

Cosplay – Ever wanted to get with a superhero or your favourite TV or movie character (even if it’s an animated one)? Here’s your chance you crazy pervert (just kidding – remember, no judging)… and you don’t even have to attend Comic-Con!

Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation – Sadly, you hear more about this fetish when people die from it, than from enjoying it. Actor David Carradine and musician Michael Hutchence are the most notable to die from the act and the entire list is full of dudes, proving women aren’t stupid enough to mix sex and death.

Auto-erotic Asphyxiation

Tentacle Erotica – We travel back to Japan for another crazy adult love aid. Apparently tentacle porn was largely born out of censorship of the penis. So, being the industrious folks they are, the Japanese simply had tentacles penetrate a character and that was okay with everyone.

Spectrophilia – I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts… but that doesn’t mean they turn me on either. And how would one go about making love to a ghost? Oh, it can also include arousal to images in mirrors… well, that seems a lot more feasible.

Phalloorchoalgolagnia – Say that three times fast! This is one that will make every dude out there squirm, wince, shudder, and perhaps even feel faint or vomitous. It is taking pleasure from the pain involved in male genital abuse. Pain does equal pleasure for some folks, but not the Sip Advisor. I’m a lover, not a fighter!

Drink #278: Kinky Tease (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Kinky Tease Shooter

  • 0.75 oz Kinky Liqueur
  • 0.75 oz Pomegranate Liqueur
  • Garnish with an Orange Wedge

There are so many other perversions out there, but I just can’t tackle them all. I don’t want to get too personal, but what gets you in the mood? If it’s funny and makes me laugh, you’ll hit my trigger!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a near-perfect shot. The Kinky and Pomegranate Liqueurs are so good by themselves, so when you put them together it can go one of two ways: it can absolutely suck or it can be amazingly awesome. Thankfully, this went in the latter direction, giving Mrs. Sip and I a perfect libation for getting down and dirty!