October 26 – Bazooka Joe

Tales from the Candy-keeper

There are numerous urban legends based on candy. Here are some of the juicier tales out there:

Recharge on Mars

Rockers sure know how to party. That’s why this legend involving Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, singer Marianne Faithfull, and a Mars chocolate bar persisted for so long. When a party at guitarist Keith Richards’ home was broken up by police, rumours began flying that Jagger was interrupted while eating a Mars bar that was inside Ms. Faithfull (I’ll let your imaginations put that one together). The story was entirely untrue, but I bet Mars bar sales skyrocketed, with deprived lovers looking to spice up their sex life!

Mick Jagger

You’re right, Mick! It is a pretty funny story!

Pop Rock N’ Roll

As the story goes, if you mix Pop Rocks with Cola, this diabolic concoction would cause you to explode. The legend was enhanced when people claimed that Mikey, the Life Cereal ad campaign kid (you know, “Hey, Mikey likes it!”) was an original victim of the blast. A similar tale has recently surrounded Mentos and Cola, because the two products do combine to create fizz and can launch a bottle into orbit. The cute Pepsi girl of the 90’s was said to be a casualty. In both cases, no one has actually died from ingesting the two items together.

Hole-in-One

Creator Clarence Crane was said to have designed Life Savers with a hold in the middle after his daughter tragically died choking on a candy. The hole was to allow oxygen to pass through a person’s body, even if stuck in one’s throat. The reality, however, is quite a bit different. Crane fashioned his new invention after the floatable inner tubes that were becoming all the rage following the Titanic disaster in 1912.

All Wrapped Up

Legend had it, that if you found an image of Indian, complete with bow and arrow, on your Tootsie Roll or Pop wrapper, you would be the recipient of any number of prizes, ranging from Tootsie treats for life to a new bicycle to unimaginable wealth and celebrity (I added that last one myself!). I would have loved to have found that Indian, as I very much enjoy the Tootsie products. Sadly, the story is completely fabricated.

tootsie pop wrapper

Jaw Dropper

It’s hard to believe this one is actually true, but it has been verified by the fine folks at MythBusters. If you place one of those massive jawbreakers in the microwave it will explode. Why someone would ever put a jawbreaker into the microwave is a yet-to-be answered question, but here’s my theory: why not. Those jawbreakers are a pain in the ass (or more aptly, mouth) to get through and perhaps someone tried to accelerate the process.

Spider Yum

When Bubble Yum gum hit the market and became quite popular, stories began to circulate that the gum contained such grossities as spider eggs, spider legs, or spider webbing. These were all probably started by a rival gum company in hopes of curtailing the popularity of the world’s first soft gum. Bubble Yum’s parent company fought these rumours publicly with full-page newspaper ads ensuring people of the quality of their product. Most people actually listened and Bubble Yum lived on.

Bubble Yum Spiders

Razor’s Edge

Remember when we were all wee little sippers and when we returned home our parents sifted through our well-earned Halloween stash (probably contemplating which treats they’d take for themselves) to make sure there was no evidence of tampering? Good thing they did. In 2000, James Joseph Smith stuck needles into Snickers bars he planned to hand out and one boy bit into the chocolate bar. Smith was arrested and charged with adulterating a substance with the intent to cause harm… asshole!

Pick Your Poison

Similarly, the threat of poisoned candy given out at Halloween has always existed, but the only evidence of this occurring happened when some sick bastards poisoned their own children, including one loser who laced his kid’s Pixy Stix with cyanide to collect a $20,000 life insurance policy. Most cases were just overeating by the public (no surprise there) and not waiting to hear the actual results of why someone became sick.

Drink #299: Bazooka Joe

Bazooka Joe Shooter

  • Rim glass with Bubble Gum
  • 0.5 oz Irish Crème
  • 0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao

Are there any candy urban legends you’d like to pass my way? I’m a skeptical one, but I’ll give it a chance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this shooter and always have. Truth be known, when I was taken out on my 19th birthday for my first legal drinks, this was the first shot that was ever ordered for me. I still marvel at how these three ingredients combine to fake the taste of bubble gum, but somehow it all comes together.

Advertisements

February 16 – Tootsie Roll

More Missed Connections

A month and a half into the life of this blog, my Missed Connections post seems to be one of the most popular. Therefore, we’re going back to the pages of Craigslist to dig up some more gold. Valentine’s Day seems like the perfect time for people to be searching for that special someone and hopefully (for our reading pleasure) they’re looking for it in all the wrong places!

Missed Connections: In Search of the Black Forest

Sexy german Frauline with the sexy sexy….

bagels and sweet smile yesterday. I’d like to put me liderHOSEn Into your black forest.

Black Forest Cake

Advisor’s Take: I like this guy’s style, coming straight out with his intentions (masked behind some wonderfully cliched euphemisms). I’ll even forgive him for the atrocious spelling. Still not sure exactly what a ‘sexy sexy’ is, but I’m sure someone will get me up to speed with today’s lingo.

Missed Connections: Taco Time

Talked about tacos. You said that you wanted to start a taco blog. Saw that you had a pretty nice pooper underneath those skinny jeans. Hit me up if you want to munch.

Advisor’s Take: Ah, street meat romance! Is there anything better in the world? Very nice double entendre with the “want to munch” line. I LOVE it when guys refer to my ass as a pooper (sexy, no?). Plus the guy clearly has goals. His conversation about starting a taco blog is hauntingly similar to the discussion I had with Mrs. Sip before starting this wonderfully amazing site.

Missed Connections: Finger Lickin’ Good

You Licked My Fingers

I spotted you on a crowded light rail train heading to Folsom. You had friendly eyes and a purple bandanna around your neck. When a seat cleared, I sat next to you. I tried to avoid looking at you, knowing I would blush and smile too much. I grasped my iPad firmly, determined to stay cool, when you reached out and began licking my fingers. It was disgusting and adorable. I began making kissy noises and fawning over you; scratching your ears, patting your head. You got off before I could ask for your name.

Me: excitable, clean-cut, blue jacket. Typically a cat person, but will make an exception.

You: small and compact, with black and white fur and ears that stuck out.

Licking Fingers

Advisor’s Take: Love this one. Nice touch with the “typically a cat person” line. There’s just something about animals wearing bandanas that drives me crazy, too. When I first read this, all I could think about was how much I hate transit and the weird people who use it. This has rejuvenated my view of hanging out with strangers.

Missed Connections: Tat’s All Folks

Tattoo Convention Fun – Need Female companion

Going to a great kick off party Thursday (2-7-2013) for the tattoo convention.

I cover entry, drinks, hotel etc.

You be hot female age 21 – 40 who loves to party.

If all works out, we can hit convention Friday and repeat that night.

Reply with stats, pics (nude not necessary, but I won’t say no) and number.

Advisor’s Take: NO! WRONG! Nude photos are always necessary! Jeez, what a first time John we have here. 21-40? At least he’s not picky about choosing his woman (he’ll take daughter or mother). But do they have to have tattoos? Those types of questions will keep me up all night!

Before someone gets on their high horse about how dirty guys can be, I will have the Sip Nation know that one of the more creatively dirty connections I came across was by a woman from Atlanta. I won’t reproduce it all here, but I’ll let you know that it has all the goodies: lumberjacks, T&A, a hotel room (downtown even!), cute whiskers, and a bucket of chicken! Oh, not to mention my favourite, “dranks”. You can read it here: Missed Connections: Tickled Taint

Drink #47: Tootsie Roll

Tootsie Roll Shot

So, how many shots does it take to get to the center of a liquor-induced nap? One, two, three, CRUNCH… okay, just bit into the shot glass. No time for a nap now, it’s off to the hospital for me!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoyed this shot and having the Tootsie Roll stir stick to snack on afterwards was a wonderful touch, if I don’t say so myself.