Tim Horton’s, Target and Rotisserie Chicken, Oh My!

Recently I wrote about my own “Missed Connection,” playing off the Craigslist page where you can write to someone you randomly bumped into and wonder if they noticed you too. That got the editorial team (my wife and me) at The Sip Advisor thinking that there could be some other good missed connections out there worth dissecting. It didn’t take very long at all to find a few diamonds in the rough. If only these people could be as bold in their real life as they are behind their keyboards (pot calling the kettle black!?!?). Perhaps the Purple Flirt would have helped them?

Missed Connections: Timmy Ho’s

i seen you again today my sweet honey crueller

quit being so cruel too me

i saw you eating a big bowl of tim hostrons chilly – you coulndt get enouf

the napkins were all overthe table stained in with sweet tims

i think you also had a boston cream donut on the side wit ha cocna cola (you awlays order the same thign)

i was the one whoe ordered the bbq chicken snack wraper with canadian maple and M double-doulble

wont u be my honey curller? i will fill you up with my boston cream 😉

Advisor’s Take: I don’t think we’re talking about donuts anymore! Maybe we never were. Does the girl this poster is writing about have scoliosis? Why else would she be comparable to the twisted honey cruller?

Why do guys think the quickest route to a woman’s heart is through vulgarity? What happened to chivalry!? I guess you just don’t find true romance at Tim Horton’s anymore.

I think both of these people are lost causes: one’s a messy eater and I’ve personally had “enouf” of the other’s writing style.

Missed Connection: Dinner and a Shopping Spree

Hi babe where are you?

you pulled in last week with you gray van
and you wayed to me from inside the van
you throw me a kiss,,,,,,,,,looking for you
badly……lets meet again and go for dinner
and i will take you to Target for shopping
You could buy anything you want NO LIMIT 

Advisor’s Take: Damn! An all-expenses paid trip to Target?!!… What gal wouldn’t jump all over that!? (I’d jump all over that!). Can you imagine how that would go? I’d go absolutely crazy in the candy aisle, grabbing Skittles and Starburst before going into a candy-induced coma. And let’s not even think about what could be achieved in the liquor and mixer aisles. I’d ruin this guy and put him into debt for years to come. Just like the club, he couldn’t handle me!

I also can’t believe how awful the grammar and spelling is in these posts. It makes me scared for the future of this world.

Missed Connections: Rear-Ender 

Thanks for rear-ending me [with your shopping cart]!! haha… I loved your juicy, succulent, breasts… delicious thighs… and then I looked away from your rotisserie chicken and saw your very sexy smile…. 😉

Let’s chat. Look forward to hearing back from you.

Advisor’s Take: What a great opening line: your rotisserie chicken! I’m totally going to steal that for my own repertoire. This guy is actually quite clever. I’d give him a chance. And what a tale to tell your future grandchildren. Grandma and grandpa met when grandma rear-ended grandpa. Ha ha… because, you know, women are bad at driving! Oh grandpa, you’re such a card…

Drink #15: Purple Flirt

• 1.5 oz Vodka
• 1 oz Sambuca
• Top with cranberry juice
• Garnish with pick of Maraschino cherries

Well, the drink didn’t really turn out purple, as you can see. I guess that’s symbolic of the “Missed Connections” on Craigslist. Sometimes things just don’t work out no matter how hard (or little) you try.

Seen any other crazy or funny “Missed Connections”? Send them my way, as I’m always in search of a good laugh!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While there were a few disappointing elements to this cocktail, what dropped its score the most was the fact it didn’t even turn out purple. Next the mixing of Sambuca and Cranberry Juice is one I still question. They just don’t seem to fit together.