Mixer Mania #40 – Endorsement Errors

Cherry Cola has been a Sip Advisor favourite since I was wee little sipper. Whether Coke, Pepsi or a no-name version, I just love that little something extra to my cola. In China, billionaire businessman Warren Buffett has been featured on bottles of Cherry Coke. A fan of the drink and shareholder in Coca-Cola, Buffett’s success is very much respected in China, so why not use the man’s likeness to sell soda. Here are some other interesting celebrity endorsement relationships:

Hulk Hogan – Pastamania

If there’s money to be made, you’ll probably find Hulk Hogan sniffing around. Borrowing from his ‘Hulkamania’ aura, the Pastamania restaurant opened in The Mall of America in 1995, closing down in under a year. Some kids meals – for Little Pastamaniacs – did include Hulkaroni & Cheese and Hulkios, which is pretty awesome.

Ozzy Osbourne – I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter

The infamous rocker, best known for his excessive lifestyle of drug and alcohol abuse, was for some reason pegged as the face of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter for a time. I only wonder if he ever tried the spread on a live bat?

The Olsen Twins – AquaFresh Toothpaste

I suppose the American Dental Association was looking to get kids interested in brushing their teeth, so they pushed for companies to find younger spokespeople. Enter the Olsen Twins and their BubbleCool toothpaste. At least it’s not another video game, movie, or musical release.

Brad Pitt – Chanel No. 5

Keep in mind, this is a women’s fragrance… actually, that makes some sense. What better way to draw the attention of a prospective female customer, than entice them with the two-time People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive. Or, you know, you could try marketing the product with an empowered female figure.

Bob Dylan – Victoria’s Secret

After seeing the music legend perform this past summer and be completely unintelligible, it’s clear Dylan is in it for the money. Such was the case when he appeared in a 2004 Victoria’s Secret commercial. Apparently Dylan once said he would only ever ‘sellout’ to advertise “ladies garments”, so I guess he can be forgiven.

Donald Trump – Anything He Can Hawk

The US president has endorsed everything under the sun, from vodka to steaks, fragrances to teas, bottled water to vitamins, and the list goes on. If only he stuck to making endorsements, rather than running for office himself.

Penelope Cruz – Nintendo DS

Appearing with her sister, the actress loses a video game bet and has to suffer the consequences of dressing like Nintendo’s main mascot. Nothing is sexier than a beautiful woman outfitted as Super Mario, complete with thick mustache.

Mikhail Gorbachev – Pizza Hut

Personally, I think pizza sells itself. Certainly, it shouldn’t take a former Russian politician to get you onboard with the food. Appearing with his own granddaughter, and putting a final nail into the Soviet Union communism coffin, at least Gorbachev put his appearance fee towards his charity.

Mixer Mania #40: Scorpion Queen

Scorpion Queen.JPG

  • 1.5 oz Vanilla Vodka
  • 1.5 oz Coconut Rum
  • Top with Cherry Cola
  • Garnish with Maraschino Cherries

Another interesting fact about Cherry Coke is that it was first tested at the 1982 World’s Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee, before being introduced in February 1985. Check out the Sip Advisor’s past article about things we have World’s Fairs to thank for their existence.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This drink is pretty good, as one would expect. I didn’t have any Vanilla Vodka in my bar (bad Sip Advisor), so I went with regular Vodka and a splash of Galliano to achieve the right flavour.

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Mixer Mania #18 – Using and Abusing

For some time, commercials have aired hyping chocolate milk as the perfect post-workout beverage. Yes, better than protein shakes, regular milk, water, or sports drinks. Regardless of how legit this claim may be, it got the Sip Advisor thinking about fictional substances used by characters to enhance their physique:

Weight Gain 4000 – South Park

In Eric Cartman’s obsession to be a “beefcake” for his televised award ceremony, after winning his school’s Save Our Fragile Planet essay contest, he begins taking doses of Weight Gain 4000. Well, at least the product came as advertised. By the end of the episode, Cartman has swelled to a massive size and is barely moveable. In his mind, though, the added pounds are simply muscle mass. Cartman does get the fame he wanted, though, as his obesity lands him on talk show Geraldo.

Cartman Weight Gain 4000

Thump – Aqua Teen Hunger Force

After being hospitalized for high blood pressure, Master Shake decides to get into shape. His method of doing this is to drink copious amounts of an illegal fitness beverage called Thump. The product’s flavour options – Mango Bitch Slap, Coconut What Did You Say To Me, and Blueberry Butt Rape – would have most people reconsider, but this is Master Shake we’re talking about. Of course, the muscles gained come to life and start a murderous rampage… just another day in South Jersey!

Powersauce – The Simpsons

Looking to shed his trademark spare tire, Homer Simpson turns to the Rainier Wolfcastle endorsed Powersauce bars to help with his efforts in the gym. Homer’s dedication to only eating foods in bar form led to him becoming the next spokesperson for Powersauce bars and their representative to scale the ominous Murderhorn Mountain. Homer ends up being successful in reaching the Murderhorn peak, but it is also learned that Powersauce bars are merely made from apple cores and Chinese newspapers.

Homer Powersauce Bars

Spinach – Popeye

Popeye has been using this “performance-enhancing substance” throughout his career, with Olive Oyl his enabler. Popeye simply grabs a can of spinach, pops it open and consumes the vegetable, leading to bulging muscles that get him through a number of dire situations. In the real world, spinach sales increased as a result of the character’s association with it. Ironically, spinach was chosen as Popeye’s supplement of choice, due to its iron content, which was later determined to be a miscalculation.

Venom – Batman

The supervillain Bane gains his massive physique by abusing this super steroid. The addictive formula must be constantly administered, directly to Bane’s brain, or else the user will suffer extreme withdrawal. The drug makes Bane so strong, that he is able to break Batman’s back and send him into temporary retirement. Of course, anytime his stream of Venom is disrupted, Bane becomes weak and easily defeated. After all, every antagonist has to have their Achilles’ heel.

Mixer Mania #18: Dirty Bastard

Dirty Bastard.JPG

  • 1 oz Tequila
  • 0.5 oz Irish Crème
  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • 0.5 oz Amaretto
  • Top with Chocolate Milk
  • Garnish with Maraschino Cherries

I don’t think I would take any of these enhancers. No, I’ll stick to the chocolate milk – preferably booze-fueled – thank you very much!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The highlight of this martini might have been finally opening the bottle of Bailey’s Cherry Chocolate Irish Crème I’ve been holding onto for far too long. Despite all the booze that’s part of this recipe, the cocktail is fairly light and the flavours are quite cohesive.

August 13 – The Wave

Chain Gang

Mrs. Sip and I are always looking to try new restaurants. We travel often enough that it’s always good to have some ideas of places to hit in locations we aren’t accustomed to. That said, here are some chains I want to visit for the first time:

Carl’s Jr.

Watching TV the other day, I saw a new commercial for Carl’s Jr. that featured the Epic Meal Time guys presenting the burger joint’s new offering: the Super Bacon Burger. While this sandwich would have previously been unobtainable to me, save for a jaunt down to the United States, a Carl’s Jr. just opened up in my neighbourhood.

Carl's Jr.

She seems to like it!

Chipotle Mexican Grill

Chipotle is another chain that recently crossed the border and opened a location mere blocks from my home and work. Sadly, I have yet to visit, despite hearing good things. The restaurant’s food spiciness has been lampooned on South Park before, thanks to Cartman’s often disgusting eating habits.

Sonic Drive-In

I’ve enjoyed a number of commercials from this outlet and it would be totally nostalgic to visit one of these drive-in locations, complete with roller skating carhops. In recent years, the brand has also opened two Sonic Beach locations, which offer outdoor seating and serve beer and wine!

In-N-Out Burger

The draw of In-N-Out Burger is their “secret menu,” which features options like Animal Style Fries (fries with two slices of melted cheese, sauce, and grilled onions). The chain remains quite popular with customers because of this and other moves, such as paying employees well above the minimum wage in the areas they operate.

in-n-out-secret-menu

Chick-Fil-A

Despite the owner’s checkered history with public relations, I’ve heard great things about the food at Chick-Fil-A and would like to give it a shot. I love chicken burgers and any place that claims “We didn’t invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich,” deserves a chance to prove their mettle, in my books.

White Castle

If it was good enough for Harold and Kumar, then it’s good enough for me! It would be interesting to see how many of their famous sliders I could force down my gullet. I’m no competitive eater, but if these treats are as good as advertised, I’d love to take a crack at demolishing a stack of them.

Dave & Buster’s

This is like the adult version of Chuck E. Cheese’s combining video games, booze, food, and fun! If I was near any location, I would most certainly have my birthday there and redeem game tickets for penny candy, bouncy balls, and squirt guns! Come on, little sippers, let’s make this dream come true!!!

Drink #225: The Wave (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Wave Cocktail

  •  1 oz Cherry Lemonade Vodka
  • 1 oz Captain Morgan Bite Rum
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Club Soda or Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Blend with Ice
  • Garnish with Maraschino Cherries and a Cocktail Umbrella

Do you have any suggestions of chains I should try as Mrs. Sip and I travel the world? Obviously, you don’t know where we been and what we’ve tried, but if there’s a restaurant you treasure and you’d like to share that with us, feel free to throw it out there.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This recipe was created by Mrs. Sip and Cousin Sip and used some very interesting spirit choices, creating a tasty blend. Depending on how sweet you want the cocktail, you can use either Club Soda or Lemon-Lime Soda as a mixer. For added presentation points, the girls added a light-up ice cube to the frozen concoction, giving it an alluring glow!

January 15 – Purple Flirt

Tim Horton’s, Target and Rotisserie Chicken, Oh My!

craigslist_missed_connections

Recently I wrote about my own “Missed Connection,” playing off the Craigslist page where you can write to someone you randomly bumped into and wonder if they noticed you too. That got the editorial team (my wife and me) at The Sip Advisor thinking that there could be some other good missed connections out there worth dissecting. It didn’t take very long at all to find a few diamonds in the rough. If only these people could be as bold in their real life as they are behind their keyboards (pot calling the kettle black!?!?). Perhaps the Purple Flirt would have helped them?

Missed Connections: Timmy Ho’s

i seen you again today my sweet honey crueller

quit being so cruel too me

i saw you eating a big bowl of tim hostrons chilly – you coulndt get enouf

the napkins were all overthe table stained in with sweet tims

i think you also had a boston cream donut on the side wit ha cocna cola (you awlays order the same thign)

i was the one whoe ordered the bbq chicken snack wraper with canadian maple and M double-doulble

wont u be my honey curller? i will fill you up with my boston cream 😉

honey cruller

Advisor’s Take: I don’t think we’re talking about donuts anymore! Maybe we never were. Does the girl this poster is writing about have scoliosis? Why else would she be comparable to the twisted honey cruller?

Why do guys think the quickest route to a woman’s heart is through vulgarity? What happened to chivalry!? I guess you just don’t find true romance at Tim Horton’s anymore.

I think both of these people are lost causes: one’s a messy eater and I’ve personally had “enouf” of the other’s writing style.

Missed Connection: Dinner and a Shopping Spree

Hi babe where are you?

you pulled in last week with you gray van
and you wayed to me from inside the van
you throw me a kiss,,,,,,,,,looking for you
badly……lets meet again and go for dinner
and i will take you to Target for shopping
You could buy anything you want NO LIMIT 

target

Advisor’s Take: Damn! An all-expenses paid trip to Target?!!… What gal wouldn’t jump all over that!? (I’d jump all over that!). Can you imagine how that would go? I’d go absolutely crazy in the candy aisle, grabbing Skittles and Starburst before going into a candy-induced coma. And let’s not even think about what could be achieved in the liquor and mixer aisles. I’d ruin this guy and put him into debt for years to come. Just like the club, he couldn’t handle me!

I also can’t believe how awful the grammar and spelling is in these posts. It makes me scared for the future of this world.

Missed Connections: Rear-Ender 

Thanks for rear-ending me [with your shopping cart]!! haha… I loved your juicy, succulent, breasts… delicious thighs… and then I looked away from your rotisserie chicken and saw your very sexy smile…. 😉

Let’s chat. Look forward to hearing back from you.

Rotisserie Chicken

Advisor’s Take: What a great opening line: your rotisserie chicken! I’m totally going to steal that for my own repertoire. This guy is actually quite clever. I’d give him a chance. And what a tale to tell your future grandchildren. Grandma and grandpa met when grandma rear-ended grandpa. Ha ha… because, you know, women are bad at driving! Oh grandpa, you’re such a card…

Drink #15: Purple Flirt

Purple Flirt Drink

  • 1.5 oz Vodka
  • 1 oz Sambuca
  • Top with cranberry juice
  • Garnish with pick of Maraschino cherries

Well, the drink didn’t really turn out purple, as you can see. I guess that’s symbolic of the “Missed Connections” on Craigslist. Sometimes things just don’t work out no matter how hard (or little) you try.

Seen any other crazy or funny “Missed Connections”? Send them my way, as I’m always in search of a good laugh!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While there were a few disappointing elements to this cocktail, what dropped its score the most was the fact it didn’t even turn out purple. Next the mixing of Sambuca and Cranberry Juice is one I still question. They just don’t seem to fit together.