Mixer Mania #40 – Endorsement Errors

Cherry Cola has been a Sip Advisor favourite since I was wee little sipper. Whether Coke, Pepsi or a no-name version, I just love that little something extra to my cola. In China, billionaire businessman Warren Buffett has been featured on bottles of Cherry Coke. A fan of the drink and shareholder in Coca-Cola, Buffett’s success is very much respected in China, so why not use the man’s likeness to sell soda. Here are some other interesting celebrity endorsement relationships:

Hulk Hogan – Pastamania

If there’s money to be made, you’ll probably find Hulk Hogan sniffing around. Borrowing from his ‘Hulkamania’ aura, the Pastamania restaurant opened in The Mall of America in 1995, closing down in under a year. Some kids meals – for Little Pastamaniacs – did include Hulkaroni & Cheese and Hulkios, which is pretty awesome.

Ozzy Osbourne – I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter

The infamous rocker, best known for his excessive lifestyle of drug and alcohol abuse, was for some reason pegged as the face of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter for a time. I only wonder if he ever tried the spread on a live bat?

The Olsen Twins – AquaFresh Toothpaste

I suppose the American Dental Association was looking to get kids interested in brushing their teeth, so they pushed for companies to find younger spokespeople. Enter the Olsen Twins and their BubbleCool toothpaste. At least it’s not another video game, movie, or musical release.

Brad Pitt – Chanel No. 5

Keep in mind, this is a women’s fragrance… actually, that makes some sense. What better way to draw the attention of a prospective female customer, than entice them with the two-time People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive. Or, you know, you could try marketing the product with an empowered female figure.

Bob Dylan – Victoria’s Secret

After seeing the music legend perform this past summer and be completely unintelligible, it’s clear Dylan is in it for the money. Such was the case when he appeared in a 2004 Victoria’s Secret commercial. Apparently Dylan once said he would only ever ‘sellout’ to advertise “ladies garments”, so I guess he can be forgiven.

Donald Trump – Anything He Can Hawk

The US president has endorsed everything under the sun, from vodka to steaks, fragrances to teas, bottled water to vitamins, and the list goes on. If only he stuck to making endorsements, rather than running for office himself.

Penelope Cruz – Nintendo DS

Appearing with her sister, the actress loses a video game bet and has to suffer the consequences of dressing like Nintendo’s main mascot. Nothing is sexier than a beautiful woman outfitted as Super Mario, complete with thick mustache.

Mikhail Gorbachev – Pizza Hut

Personally, I think pizza sells itself. Certainly, it shouldn’t take a former Russian politician to get you onboard with the food. Appearing with his own granddaughter, and putting a final nail into the Soviet Union communism coffin, at least Gorbachev put his appearance fee towards his charity.

Mixer Mania #40: Scorpion Queen

Scorpion Queen.JPG

  • 1.5 oz Vanilla Vodka
  • 1.5 oz Coconut Rum
  • Top with Cherry Cola
  • Garnish with Maraschino Cherries

Another interesting fact about Cherry Coke is that it was first tested at the 1982 World’s Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee, before being introduced in February 1985. Check out the Sip Advisor’s past article about things we have World’s Fairs to thank for their existence.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This drink is pretty good, as one would expect. I didn’t have any Vanilla Vodka in my bar (bad Sip Advisor), so I went with regular Vodka and a splash of Galliano to achieve the right flavour.

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Slovakia – Royal Tatrateani

Roll Call

Admittedly, I don’t know much about our next stop, Slovakia. I know a few hockey players from the European country: Marian Hossa, Zdeno Chara, and the late Pavol Demitra, among others. Aside from that, there’s not much space in me ol’ noggin’ dedicated to Slovakian culture. That said, there are a number of Slovaks who are known the world over for varying achievements. Here is a small sample of those fine folks:

The Stastny Brothers

When Peter Stastny defected from Slovakia to Canada in 1980, he became the first red curtain star player to do so and ushered in an exodus of players leaving Soviet Europe for a better life in North America. Peter and his brother Anton joined the Quebec Nordiques and were later united with eldest brother Marian, becoming only the third trio of brothers to play for the same squad. All three enjoyed successful career, particularly Peter who was a scoring phenom, notching 1239 points in 977 games. He retired in 1995 and was selected to the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1998. The brother’s legacy continues with Peter’s sons Yan and Paul suiting up for the Edmonton Oilers and Colorado Avalanche (ironically, the relocated Quebec franchise his father starred for), respectively. The Stastny’s are the first hockey family to represent four different countries – Czechoslovakia, Canada, Slovakia, USA – in international play.

Stastny Brothers

Juraj Jánošík

Slovakia has its own version of the legendary Robin Hood and that is this man. Jánošík is said to have stolen from the rich to give to the poor… sound familiar? Jánošík even had his own collection of “Merry Men,” although I’m sure they were called something more badass than that. The vigilante met his end after being sentenced to death. Scholars have debated how he was executed with most believing he was impaled on a hook and left to die, while others theorize he could have been hanged. As it often is with legends, stories persist that he went out in grand style, ever thumbing his nose at the authorities, by jumping onto the hook, rather than accept the grace offered to him in exchange for enlisting soldiers from his able ranks. Jánošík’s fable can be found in numerous films, books and even the odd song or two.

Adriana Karembeu (nee Sklenaríková)

This one is for all my little sippers out there who love gorgeous women! “Miss Wonderbra” as the beautiful and busty blonde has been dubbed has also appeared for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Peroni Beer. The gal is smart, too. Karembeu won her first modelling contest while she was studying medicine in Prague. If the “Miss Wonderbra” moniker isn’t enough to sway you or you’re more of a legs man, it should be noted that Karembeu once held the Guinness world record for longest legs among female models at close to 50 inches. I made sure to arrange my article so that squeezing in a picture of Karembeu didn’t seem out of place!

Adriana-Karembeu

I’m not sure which structure is more impressive!

Martina Hingis

The former world top-ranked women’s tennis player entered her first tournament at the age of four. Along with her mother, the two defected to Switzerland when she was just six years old and a decade later, Hingis became the youngest Grand Slam champion of all-time, winning the 1996 Wimbledon women’s doubles tournament with Helena Sukova. Following that victory, Hingis won Grand Slam singles titles at Wimbledon and the Australian and U.S. Opens. The only major championship missing from her resume is the French Open, although she did win in doubles at the tournament in 1998 and 2000. Hingis retired from tennis in 2003, at the young age of 22. She returned to the sport in 2005 and left in 2007, being handed a two-year ban after testing positive for a minimal amount of an element in cocaine. She returned again in 2010 and still plays in the occasional doubles tournament to this day.

Štefan Banič

After immigrating to the United States and witnessing a plane crash, Banič invented the first military parachute every deployed in action. The man had so much faith in his product (an umbrella like device attached to the jumpers body) that he tested it himself, first from the top of a 15-storey building and later from an actual airplane. Once successful (you know, meaning he didn’t plummet to the earth and burst into a million pieces), Banič then did something extraordinary… he donated his patent to the United States military. His invention saved the lives of countless soldiers during World War I, but the coal miner never received much money or fame for his creation.

Slovakia: Royal Tatrateani

Royal Tatrateani Cocktail

  • 1.5 oz Gin
  • 0.5 oz Tatratea Citrus
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Dash of Agave Nectar
  • Garnish with a Lemon Slice

So, now you know a heck of a lot more about Slovakia than you did before… and really, that’s my only mission in life: to educate while getting people so blitzed they forget half the shit they knew. Full circle, my little sippers, full circle!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Mrs. Sip was kind enough to pick these liqueurs up for me for Christmas, adding a country to my 52-week tour that I did not have on my radar. We have the Forest Fruit, Citrus, and Coconut flavours, but the company also sells Peach & White Tea, Original, Bohemian, and Outlaw varieties. This martini was really strong, but grew on me with each sip. To enhance the use of the Tatratea Citrus, I selected Tanqueray Rangpur as my Gin of choice.

January 5 – Silk Panties with Lace

Dirty Names

Is this what you were thinking when you searched the term that brought you to this site?

Is this what you were thinking when you searched the term that brought you to this site?

I’ve always found it funny that many shots have dirty names. Some would say the dirtier the better. Who are we kidding, I would normally say the dirtier the better! And what better day to post these shots than Saturday: the best day of the week, where you can sleep in, stay up late, enjoy a shot or 6, and not worry about the head shattering consequences until the next day. It’s a special I like to call, Super Saturday Shot Day!

As this blog is built, a major hurdle is apparently attracting viewers using “keywords” or “tags” or whatever you call these words that I highlight in different colours and my wife keeps bugging me to hyperlink. So… with posting shot names such as “silk panties” (and that’s one of the tamer names out there) I figure that I’ll naturally draw in those who really know how to appreciate the art and composition that is a fine shot when they are sitting alone in their room on a Saturday night (right? because that’s what guys sitting alone in their room search for on the internet).

I even tried the search, myself… you know, in the name of research. God bless Victoria’s Secret!

Anyhoo, without further ado, my first super shot is the “Silk Panties with Lace”, because who doesn’t enjoy indulging in a fine pair of panties or two on a Saturday night?

Shot #1: Silk Panties with Lace

Silk Panties with Lace Shooter

  • Rim glass with sugar
  • 3/4oz Raspberry Vodka or another vodka (plain or flavoured)
  • 3/4oz Peach Schnapps
  • Garnish with lemon wedge

I’m guessing the sugar rim is the lace waistband at the top of the shot, while the liquors in the glass, particularly the silky peach schnapps would be the panties. I have no clue where the lemon fits into the whole analogy… well, I have a couple ideas, but I don’t want this post to be classified as erotic fiction.

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If you have any drink suggestions you would like to see featured on Sip Advisor, leave me a comment or send me an e-mail. I will be doing a full week of suggested drinks in the very near future.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While I’d prefer to have the lingerie, the shot version of this title was enjoyable, too. Peach Schnapps and Raspberry Vodka seem like a wonderful match and a Sugar Rim is like having a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down!