Mixer Mania #18 – Using and Abusing

For some time, commercials have aired hyping chocolate milk as the perfect post-workout beverage. Yes, better than protein shakes, regular milk, water, or sports drinks. Regardless of how legit this claim may be, it got the Sip Advisor thinking about fictional substances used by characters to enhance their physique:

Weight Gain 4000 – South Park

In Eric Cartman’s obsession to be a “beefcake” for his televised award ceremony, after winning his school’s Save Our Fragile Planet essay contest, he begins taking doses of Weight Gain 4000. Well, at least the product came as advertised. By the end of the episode, Cartman has swelled to a massive size and is barely moveable. In his mind, though, the added pounds are simply muscle mass. Cartman does get the fame he wanted, though, as his obesity lands him on talk show Geraldo.

Cartman Weight Gain 4000

Thump – Aqua Teen Hunger Force

After being hospitalized for high blood pressure, Master Shake decides to get into shape. His method of doing this is to drink copious amounts of an illegal fitness beverage called Thump. The product’s flavour options – Mango Bitch Slap, Coconut What Did You Say To Me, and Blueberry Butt Rape – would have most people reconsider, but this is Master Shake we’re talking about. Of course, the muscles gained come to life and start a murderous rampage… just another day in South Jersey!

Powersauce – The Simpsons

Looking to shed his trademark spare tire, Homer Simpson turns to the Rainier Wolfcastle endorsed Powersauce bars to help with his efforts in the gym. Homer’s dedication to only eating foods in bar form led to him becoming the next spokesperson for Powersauce bars and their representative to scale the ominous Murderhorn Mountain. Homer ends up being successful in reaching the Murderhorn peak, but it is also learned that Powersauce bars are merely made from apple cores and Chinese newspapers.

Homer Powersauce Bars

Spinach – Popeye

Popeye has been using this “performance-enhancing substance” throughout his career, with Olive Oyl his enabler. Popeye simply grabs a can of spinach, pops it open and consumes the vegetable, leading to bulging muscles that get him through a number of dire situations. In the real world, spinach sales increased as a result of the character’s association with it. Ironically, spinach was chosen as Popeye’s supplement of choice, due to its iron content, which was later determined to be a miscalculation.

Venom – Batman

The supervillain Bane gains his massive physique by abusing this super steroid. The addictive formula must be constantly administered, directly to Bane’s brain, or else the user will suffer extreme withdrawal. The drug makes Bane so strong, that he is able to break Batman’s back and send him into temporary retirement. Of course, anytime his stream of Venom is disrupted, Bane becomes weak and easily defeated. After all, every antagonist has to have their Achilles’ heel.

Mixer Mania #18: Dirty Bastard

Dirty Bastard.JPG

  • 1 oz Tequila
  • 0.5 oz Irish Crème
  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • 0.5 oz Amaretto
  • Top with Chocolate Milk
  • Garnish with Maraschino Cherries

I don’t think I would take any of these enhancers. No, I’ll stick to the chocolate milk – preferably booze-fueled – thank you very much!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The highlight of this martini might have been finally opening the bottle of Bailey’s Cherry Chocolate Irish Crème I’ve been holding onto for far too long. Despite all the booze that’s part of this recipe, the cocktail is fairly light and the flavours are quite cohesive.

November 29 – Three’s Company

Three of a Kind

With Horrible Bosses 2 arriving in theatres, I thought it was the perfect time to look back on some of my favourite comedic trios. They say that three is a crowd, but in these cases, it couldn’t be more comfortable:

#5: Nick, Dale & Kurt – Horrible Bosses

I really enjoyed this movie, which sees a trio of friends decide to kill their respective bosses. Of course, things don’t go as planned and they become embroiled in a web of infidelity, break and enter, and homicide. The sequel sees the cast reunite with Nick, Dale and Kurt starting their own business and having to take drastic measures when competition comes along, trying to crush their operation. Best of all, Jennifer Aniston is back for another spin as the nympho dentist!

Horrible-Bosses-Trio

#4: Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Made up of Frylock, Master Shake, and Meatwad, these three food items started life as crime fighters, but evolved into lazy degenerates. I’m particularly fond of Master Shake and Meatwad, who are complete polar opposites. Master Shake is always looking to con his way into money and babes, while Meatwad is a sweet and caring lad. The do share a low level of intelligence, but that makes things all the more interesting. One thing is for sure, I would hate to be their neighbour Carl.

#3: Yakko, Wakko & Dot – Animaniacs

This madcap trio of hellraisers were shut away in the Warner Bros. studio lot vault for decades and upon being released, unleashed their manic brand of humour on the world… whether the world was ready for it or not. Interestingly, the Warner siblings were intended to be ducks, but were changed to dog-like beings in early production. The Warner’s stuck around for 99 episodes of chaotic fun, before disappearing back into their water tower home and leaving the world at peace.

Animaniacs Trio

#2: Phil, Stu & Alan – The Hangover

Played by Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis, respectively, this movie franchise shows just what can happen when you have a crazy night out in Las Vegas, Bangkok, and just about anywhere in the world. I always felt bad for Doug that he never gets to be part of the adventure. In each of the three movies, he’s pushed to the sidelines… once, quite literally! In the end, these three guys, who were acquaintances before the franchise, became legit friends thanks to the whole experience.

#1: The Three Stooges

Comedy just wouldn’t be the same without Larry, Curly, and Moe. Sure, the recent reboot of this franchise might not be great, but the original troupe were legends and have been ripped off and spoofed for decades. The Three Stooges began their iconic career in 1925 as a vaudeville act, before moving onto feature films. Since appearing on TV for the first time in 1958, their shorts have remained a staple of the airwaves to this day, and will make audiences laugh for years to come.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Three’s Company

Three's Company Shot

  • 0.5 oz Cognac
  • 0.5 oz Grand Marnier
  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • Garnish with an Orange Slice

Myself and Mrs. Sip make up our own triple threat, using an interchangeable member that simply hangs on to the awesomeness of our coattails. Honourable mentions go to Alvin and The Chipmunks; Huey, Dewey, and Louie; the Workaholics; and many more. In researching this article, I had to be very careful not to use the search term “best threesomes”… but I used it anyway!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This shot tasted pretty good, largely thanks to the Grand Marnier’s delicious orange flavour. I’ll even throw some credit towards the Kahlua. The score was lowered because of the strong taste, something the decent flavours couldn’t make up for.

September 13 – Drunk Monkey

Shows for the Sloshed

Let me set the picture: you’ve returned to your humble abode after a night out on the town and you’re looking for some viewing entertainment to go along with your nightcap. What do you choose to watch? Here’s what the Sip Advisor has on deck to satiate the inebriated mind!

Mr. T’s World’s Craziest Fools

This show hits on everything I want while under the influence: people doing stupid stuff and getting hurt (one of my favourite things to see in the history of the world), good writing that will leave you laughing your ass off, and lines delivered by the esteemed Mr. T. While the whole genre of amateur footage is one I’ve always appreciated, there’s just something about Mr. T ripping into all these “foos” that is so refreshing.

Mr. T

Tosh.0

In a similar vein to Mr. T’s show, comedian Daniel Tosh lampoons everything going on the wild, wild web, from YouTube videos to internet celebrities and everything in between. Tosh also gets his audience involved in the program with interactive jokes through Twitter, Skype and other social media enterprises. Tosh will not hesitate to rip any subject to shreds, or even reenact it himself, and fans love him for it.

Man vs. Food

Host Adam Richman is a total delight, as he tours the United States, trying food challenges and showcasing restaurants famous for their amazing meals. The one caveat with watching a show like this while drunk is that you have to have some great foods to feast on or else you’ll just get jealous and moody. Before you know it, you’ll be staggering your way to a local eatery in search of pulled pork and poutine and you won’t rest until your shirt is stained with gravy and barbecue sauce!

Man vs. Food

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

When you’ve downed a bunch of drinks, your attention span may be depleted. That’s what makes these 15-minute episodes (only about 10 minutes if the commercials are cut) so attractive. The characters (I guess that’s what you’d call an anthropomorphized hamburger meat, soft drink cup, and fry carton) are quickly loveable and the jokes are funny. The episodes can be a little crazy with pace, but it’s worth the ride time and again.

Wilfred

I’ve only just started watching this series, but I have no doubt that it will provide drunken evening entertainment for some time to come. The humour is raunchy and a little dark and there’s just something about a dude dressed in a dog suit smoking from a bong, drinking beer, and humping attractive women that I find so endearing. Australian Jason Gann plays Wilfred, who’s as naughty as a puppy can come!

Wilfred

Archer

Sterling Archer is a top-notch secret agent, despite his battles with alcohol and being a total ass. When Mrs. Sip and I got into this series, we watched all four seasons in the span of a few weeks, myself being plastered most nights (making wicked awesome drinks for all you little sippers) and Mrs. Sip joining me on many occasions. You start watching the show for Archer himself, but soon find yourself appreciating each character for what they bring to the show.

South Park

What could be better than a group of potty-mouthed youngsters taking shots at everything and anything? Nothing is off limits to creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I’d have to give Eric Cartman the nod as my favourite character, preferring to see him when he’s trying to start a new business venture to capitalize on some current trend, but I also enjoy a number of the secondary characters, with Randy Marsh topping that list.

Drink #256: Drunk Monkey

Drunk Monkey Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Banana Liqueur (I used Bols)
  • 1 oz Melon Liqueur
  • 1 oz Triple Sec
  • Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Pineapple Juice
  • Garnish with a Banana Slice

This list also works for people that are high. Really, any show is pretty good when you’re feeling a little fuzzy. I like to learn – or try to learn – when I’m tanked and will watch anything on the Discovery Channel or other educational networks… provided there isn’t a better adult cartoon on at the same time!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I took my photos before mixing the drink because the layering looked cool. All the ingredients shine at some point during each taste, but Mrs. Sip affectionately called it ‘banana in a cup’! There is also a Drunk Monkey Shooter I’d like to try that mixes Banana Liqueur with Sambuca, which will surely be an interesting blend.