November 28 – The Talking Monkey

A Glimpse Inside

Last week, we began looking at one of the most underrated elements to visual storytelling: narration. It’s amazing how essential the narration of a movie or TV show can be, sometimes making or breaking a project. This week, we move to the big screen. Let’s get things rolling!

#5: Sin City

As if coming from the pages of a comic book, viewers are taken on a journey through the voice of each focal character, learning their desires, motives, issues, fears, and discoveries. Narration comes from a variety of sources, including Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, and Clive Owen, each captivating the audience with their character’s story. Film noir is no stranger to the narrator storytelling device, but Sin City brought the style back to the mainstream.

sincity

#4: A Clockwork Orange

The ultra-violent Alex (played by Malcolm McDowell) is a drug-fueled sociopath who won’t hesitate in committing all kinds of horrible acts on innocent victims. As a result, many of Alex’s thoughts are quite disturbing and the way they are delivered by McDowell, in Alex’s teenage Cockney slang, will really have your skin crawling. Despite all efforts to reform Alex, the teen eventually returns to his old habits and more suffering is in the cards.

#3: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

It’s one thing to narrate a movie and it’s a whole other ball of yarn when you’re delivering the words of Dr. Seuss! I wonder how many retakes were needed to perfectly deliver some of the Seussian language? Regardless, Hannibal Lecter himself, Anthony Hopkins, nailed it, retelling the tale of The Grinch, who can’t stand the Whos down in Whoville, especially as the Christmas holiday approaches. While critics were less enthusiastic about the film, the Sip Advisor has always enjoyed it.

the grinch decorating

#2: Fight Club

The haunting narrations of this film will leave viewers chilled to the bone, as the protagonist (played by Edward Norton) turns his insomnia into attending support groups and later, starting a terrorist organization, bred out of a fighting club. While we never get the main character’s name, we certainly get all the thoughts that make him tick and lead to his mental breakdown… the problem is, he realizes too late exactly what he’s started and can’t stop.

#1: A Christmas Story

In a style that would go on to be the inspiration for The Wonder Years, we learn about the trials and tribulations little Ralphie goes through as he asks for a “Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle” for Christmas. This includes convincing his teacher, parents, and even the big guy himself, Santa, that the gun isn’t as dangerous as many fear. As if that’s not enough, Ralphie has to deal with schoolyard bullies, swearing in front of his parents, and ruined Christmas dinner.

Super Saturday Shot Day: The Talking Monkey

  • 0.5 oz Chocolate Liqueur
  • 0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
  • 0.25 oz Coffee Liqueur
  • 0.25 oz Milk
  • Garnish with a Banana Slice

Of course, there’s always the king of the narration, Morgan Freeman, with credits in the role including Shawshank Redemption, War of the Worlds, March of the Penguins, and Island of Lemurs: Madagascar. If a Hall of Fame, dedicated to the art, were to ever be built, Freeman would be its inaugural inductee!

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July 11 – Scorpion’s Tail

A Movie of Their Own

With the Minions (more on them later) getting their own movie, out in theatres this weekend, the Sip Advisor thought it would be a good time to look at other characters that proved so popular that they earned their own film(s). Kind of like how Mrs. Sip keeps trying to break away from me and launch her own brand… too bad for her, she’s under contract for years to come!

#5: The Scorpion King

After a brief appearance in The Mummy Returns (in one of the worst CGI effects of all-time), wrestling star The Rock launched his Hollywood career with his own film, as the titular Scorpion King. While it wasn’t going to garner any Oscar consideration, the action in this movie was great and the story pretty good, too. Three additional movies have joined the franchise, although The Rock vacated the role.

scorpions

#4: Machete

It’s funny that the ultraviolent Machete first appeared in the children’s movie franchise Spy Kids, before branching out on his own vigilante activities. Played to badass perfection by Danny Trejo (a former prison inmate before turning to acting), the Machete character has enjoyed two film installments to date, featuring massive deadly weapons, beautiful women, and a lot of creative kills.

#3: Puss in Boots

This suave little kitty stole out hearts, starting with Shrek 2, en route to his own movie and Netflix TV series. Puss in Boots may have existed since 1697, but he has never been more popular than when he sliced and purred his way through various enemies in the DreamWorks films. Voiced by Antonio Banderas, Puss is based on the classic character Zorro, another role tackled by Banderas.

puss in boots

#2: Inspector Jacques Clouseau

This bumbling detective character is a favourite of the Sip Family, as is star Peter Sellers. Just a side character in the first film of the franchise, The Pink Panther, Sellers stole the show away from lead David Niven and never looked back. As Clouseau, a number of additional movies were made under the Pink Panther banner, up until Sellers died in 1980, at the age of only 54.

#1: The Minions

I love these little yellow guys, despite the fact I can’t understand most of what they say. The trailer for this movie is pure gold, with the Minions switching from one evildoer to another, after accidentally killing their masters throughout the ages, including an Egyptian pharaoh, Dracula, Napoleon, and others.  I can’t wait to check out the movie and I know I’m not alone in that desire!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Scorpion’s Tail

  • 0.5 oz Coconut Rum
  • 0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
  • Top with Cranberry Juice
  • Splash of Pineapple Juice
  • Garnish with a Pineapple Wedge

Honourable mentions include Jay and Silent Bob, the Penguins of Madagascar, and Aldous Snow (Get Him to the Greek). I wasn’t sure how to handle comic characters, such as Wolverine and Elektra, as they are their own entities, so I’ll leave them in this section. Hate if you want, but let’s all just relax and have a drink!

Flavour Revolution – Peanut Butter & Jelly

Together We Stand

The Sip Advisor makes a mean PB&J… but it’s not that difficult when you have two ingredients that work so well together. Their pairing has even created the saying “[insert item here] and [add second item here] go together like peanut butter and jelly”. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of those famous combos that just look odd when one member is missing:

Salt and Pepper

These two items go so well together that hip hop girl band Salt-N-Pepa adopted the combo (although spelled horribly wrong) for their group name… they were a trio, though, so I did a little research and discovered that while one was “Salt” and the other “Pepa,” the third member was “DJ Spindarella”. What ingredient is that!?

Bacon and Eggs

While my preferred breakfast is comprised of bacon and hash browns, I must concede that bacon and eggs share a special relationship. Things get a little kinky when you put bacon IN eggs, but who am I to judge what goes on in the privacy of kitchens everywhere. Bacon is such an awesome food that it really pairs with everything.

Bacon and Eggs

Bread and Butter

While Mrs. Sip might say that lobster and butter are better companions, bread and butter is also one of her vices. When we’re at a restaurant that offers the two, I may have a slice, while my lovely wife is more inclined to ruin her dinner with the appie. It’s quite the show as we move through the meal and she regrets her early choices.

Hamburger and Fries

With advancements in culinary techniques and consumer’s tastes, many restaurants have tried to change the typical burger and fries options, leaving that for the fast food joints of the world… but nothing beats a good ol’ fashioned burg and fries. I wonder who first joined these two in holy EATrimony. They should have patented it.

Crackers and Cheese

With an overall view of this article, it’s like it was meant for Mrs. Sip, this combo be another of her favourites. I can’t count how many times I’ve see a plate of crackers and cheese coming out of our kitchen. This is the wine lovers go-to accompaniment. I’ll never be on board with the whole thing, given my contempt for cheese.

Fish and Chips

While chips may augment a number of main dishes, fish is rarely seen without its potato-based sidekick. In fact, they go so well together that they share similar condiments, such as salt, vinegar, tartar sauce, and ketchup. This means that you don’t have to be cautious while dousing your meal with additions and can let loose!

Fish and Chips

Meat and Potatoes

Typical meat dishes are almost always accompanied by a starch side like potatoes. Also, saying that someone is a meat and potatoes kind of person translates to them getting the job done without being very flashy. It is often used in hockey circles to describe a hardworking player who doesn’t put up high offensive numbers.

Movies and Popcorn

If the Sip Advisor had his way, it would be “Movies and Potato Chips,” but alas, my motion to have the traditional theatre snack changed has fallen on deaf ears. I’m not a popcorn advocate – heck, I don’t even like going to many movies – but I can respect how these two go so well together. What I don’t get is the marked up price.

Milk and Cookies

In my younger days, I used to love sitting back with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. Now that I have to be a little more conscious of what I put into my body, I don’t get to enjoy this tradition much anymore. I still eat cookies, but never enjoy a full plate and rarely combine milk in the practice anymore. That’s sad, isn’t it…

Cookie Problems

Coffee and Donuts

While I love my donuts (the proper way to spell the word… how ridiculous does “doughnuts” look!), I absolutely deplore coffee. Interesting tidbit, though, the whole dunking a donut into coffee was first popularized in the classic movie “It Happened One Night,” which featured star Clark Gable performing the simple task.

Chips and Salsa

Being a potato chip fiend, I’m more inclined to do the chips and dip thing, but tortilla chips and salsa are a natural alliance and got me through many meals at Mexican restaurants when I was a young, picky eater. “And what would you like to order young man?” “Who, me? Oh, I’m fine with the free chips and salsa, thanks!”

Flavour Revolution: The King

The King Martini

  • Rim glass with Peanut Butter and Jelly
  • 2 oz Van Gogh PB&J Vodka
  • 1 oz Banana Liqueur
  • Garnish with Bols Banana Liqueur Foam

My favourite PB&J of all-time was a grilled version that included bacon and jalapenos. Mrs. Sip and I enjoyed this sandwich while getting blitzed at last year’s Portland Beer and Wine Festival and we hope it will be available again this year.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’ve made this martini numerous times for guests of Mrs. Sip and I, but have never tried a full serving of it myself. Now I can see why this drinks typically earns me rave reviews! It looks neat with the PB&J rim and tastes fantastic, thanks to the Van Gogh Vodka and Banana Liqueur. A great liquid tribute to ‘The King!’

October 26 – Bazooka Joe

Tales from the Candy-keeper

There are numerous urban legends based on candy. Here are some of the juicier tales out there:

Recharge on Mars

Rockers sure know how to party. That’s why this legend involving Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, singer Marianne Faithfull, and a Mars chocolate bar persisted for so long. When a party at guitarist Keith Richards’ home was broken up by police, rumours began flying that Jagger was interrupted while eating a Mars bar that was inside Ms. Faithfull (I’ll let your imaginations put that one together). The story was entirely untrue, but I bet Mars bar sales skyrocketed, with deprived lovers looking to spice up their sex life!

Mick Jagger

You’re right, Mick! It is a pretty funny story!

Pop Rock N’ Roll

As the story goes, if you mix Pop Rocks with Cola, this diabolic concoction would cause you to explode. The legend was enhanced when people claimed that Mikey, the Life Cereal ad campaign kid (you know, “Hey, Mikey likes it!”) was an original victim of the blast. A similar tale has recently surrounded Mentos and Cola, because the two products do combine to create fizz and can launch a bottle into orbit. The cute Pepsi girl of the 90’s was said to be a casualty. In both cases, no one has actually died from ingesting the two items together.

Hole-in-One

Creator Clarence Crane was said to have designed Life Savers with a hold in the middle after his daughter tragically died choking on a candy. The hole was to allow oxygen to pass through a person’s body, even if stuck in one’s throat. The reality, however, is quite a bit different. Crane fashioned his new invention after the floatable inner tubes that were becoming all the rage following the Titanic disaster in 1912.

All Wrapped Up

Legend had it, that if you found an image of Indian, complete with bow and arrow, on your Tootsie Roll or Pop wrapper, you would be the recipient of any number of prizes, ranging from Tootsie treats for life to a new bicycle to unimaginable wealth and celebrity (I added that last one myself!). I would have loved to have found that Indian, as I very much enjoy the Tootsie products. Sadly, the story is completely fabricated.

tootsie pop wrapper

Jaw Dropper

It’s hard to believe this one is actually true, but it has been verified by the fine folks at MythBusters. If you place one of those massive jawbreakers in the microwave it will explode. Why someone would ever put a jawbreaker into the microwave is a yet-to-be answered question, but here’s my theory: why not. Those jawbreakers are a pain in the ass (or more aptly, mouth) to get through and perhaps someone tried to accelerate the process.

Spider Yum

When Bubble Yum gum hit the market and became quite popular, stories began to circulate that the gum contained such grossities as spider eggs, spider legs, or spider webbing. These were all probably started by a rival gum company in hopes of curtailing the popularity of the world’s first soft gum. Bubble Yum’s parent company fought these rumours publicly with full-page newspaper ads ensuring people of the quality of their product. Most people actually listened and Bubble Yum lived on.

Bubble Yum Spiders

Razor’s Edge

Remember when we were all wee little sippers and when we returned home our parents sifted through our well-earned Halloween stash (probably contemplating which treats they’d take for themselves) to make sure there was no evidence of tampering? Good thing they did. In 2000, James Joseph Smith stuck needles into Snickers bars he planned to hand out and one boy bit into the chocolate bar. Smith was arrested and charged with adulterating a substance with the intent to cause harm… asshole!

Pick Your Poison

Similarly, the threat of poisoned candy given out at Halloween has always existed, but the only evidence of this occurring happened when some sick bastards poisoned their own children, including one loser who laced his kid’s Pixy Stix with cyanide to collect a $20,000 life insurance policy. Most cases were just overeating by the public (no surprise there) and not waiting to hear the actual results of why someone became sick.

Drink #299: Bazooka Joe

Bazooka Joe Shooter

  • Rim glass with Bubble Gum
  • 0.5 oz Irish Crème
  • 0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao

Are there any candy urban legends you’d like to pass my way? I’m a skeptical one, but I’ll give it a chance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this shooter and always have. Truth be known, when I was taken out on my 19th birthday for my first legal drinks, this was the first shot that was ever ordered for me. I still marvel at how these three ingredients combine to fake the taste of bubble gum, but somehow it all comes together.

September 13 – Drunk Monkey

Shows for the Sloshed

Let me set the picture: you’ve returned to your humble abode after a night out on the town and you’re looking for some viewing entertainment to go along with your nightcap. What do you choose to watch? Here’s what the Sip Advisor has on deck to satiate the inebriated mind!

Mr. T’s World’s Craziest Fools

This show hits on everything I want while under the influence: people doing stupid stuff and getting hurt (one of my favourite things to see in the history of the world), good writing that will leave you laughing your ass off, and lines delivered by the esteemed Mr. T. While the whole genre of amateur footage is one I’ve always appreciated, there’s just something about Mr. T ripping into all these “foos” that is so refreshing.

Mr. T

Tosh.0

In a similar vein to Mr. T’s show, comedian Daniel Tosh lampoons everything going on the wild, wild web, from YouTube videos to internet celebrities and everything in between. Tosh also gets his audience involved in the program with interactive jokes through Twitter, Skype and other social media enterprises. Tosh will not hesitate to rip any subject to shreds, or even reenact it himself, and fans love him for it.

Man vs. Food

Host Adam Richman is a total delight, as he tours the United States, trying food challenges and showcasing restaurants famous for their amazing meals. The one caveat with watching a show like this while drunk is that you have to have some great foods to feast on or else you’ll just get jealous and moody. Before you know it, you’ll be staggering your way to a local eatery in search of pulled pork and poutine and you won’t rest until your shirt is stained with gravy and barbecue sauce!

Man vs. Food

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

When you’ve downed a bunch of drinks, your attention span may be depleted. That’s what makes these 15-minute episodes (only about 10 minutes if the commercials are cut) so attractive. The characters (I guess that’s what you’d call an anthropomorphized hamburger meat, soft drink cup, and fry carton) are quickly loveable and the jokes are funny. The episodes can be a little crazy with pace, but it’s worth the ride time and again.

Wilfred

I’ve only just started watching this series, but I have no doubt that it will provide drunken evening entertainment for some time to come. The humour is raunchy and a little dark and there’s just something about a dude dressed in a dog suit smoking from a bong, drinking beer, and humping attractive women that I find so endearing. Australian Jason Gann plays Wilfred, who’s as naughty as a puppy can come!

Wilfred

Archer

Sterling Archer is a top-notch secret agent, despite his battles with alcohol and being a total ass. When Mrs. Sip and I got into this series, we watched all four seasons in the span of a few weeks, myself being plastered most nights (making wicked awesome drinks for all you little sippers) and Mrs. Sip joining me on many occasions. You start watching the show for Archer himself, but soon find yourself appreciating each character for what they bring to the show.

South Park

What could be better than a group of potty-mouthed youngsters taking shots at everything and anything? Nothing is off limits to creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I’d have to give Eric Cartman the nod as my favourite character, preferring to see him when he’s trying to start a new business venture to capitalize on some current trend, but I also enjoy a number of the secondary characters, with Randy Marsh topping that list.

Drink #256: Drunk Monkey

Drunk Monkey Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Banana Liqueur (I used Bols)
  • 1 oz Melon Liqueur
  • 1 oz Triple Sec
  • Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Pineapple Juice
  • Garnish with a Banana Slice

This list also works for people that are high. Really, any show is pretty good when you’re feeling a little fuzzy. I like to learn – or try to learn – when I’m tanked and will watch anything on the Discovery Channel or other educational networks… provided there isn’t a better adult cartoon on at the same time!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I took my photos before mixing the drink because the layering looked cool. All the ingredients shine at some point during each taste, but Mrs. Sip affectionately called it ‘banana in a cup’! There is also a Drunk Monkey Shooter I’d like to try that mixes Banana Liqueur with Sambuca, which will surely be an interesting blend.

March 30 – Vegas Blowjob

Entertain Me

Well, today we celebrate The Sip Legacy’s (that would be Mrs. Sip and I as a conglomerate) 11-year dating anniversary and it is purely coincidence that this shot was chosen for this momentous occasion. You think she’ll get the hint, fellas? *wink, wink*

This is the second year in a row that we’ve celebrated with a trip to Las Vegas. We love Sin City and we’re not even gamblers. I actually can’t remember the last time I put any money on the line during a stay here. Sure, it’s happened and I had one moderately successful night with video poker, but our main intention when coming to the city is to eat, drink, and be merry. To fulfill the merry portion of that mantra, we love going to shows along the strip. Here are some of our favourites:

Penn & Teller – Rio

These guys do it all, combining magic, comedy, drama, the whole shebang. When we attended this show, Mrs. Sip was wearing a low cut halter top and when the guys were looking for a volunteer for their knife act, I knew they’d pick her (despite her laughable efforts to look anywhere but at the guys). Sure enough they did and because of her participation we were able to get a front-of-the-line chance to meet with Penn and Teller after the show. Teller even spoke, which blew my mind, thanking Mrs. Sip and saying she did a great job!

Penn & Teller

Cirque du Soleil: Ka – MGM Grand

We are huge fans of the Cirque du Soleil shows in Vegas, as well as the ones that tour around the world. This martial arts-themed extravaganza, with its giant, rotating and moving stage, was completely mesmerizing particularly the climax of the show, where performers were running on giant spinning wheels and pulling off different tricks.

Cirque du Soleil: Love – Mirage

Keeping with the Cirque theme, what do you get when you take the amazing circus acts the troupe is known for and set the entire spectacle to the remarkable Beatles music catalogue? You have a surefire hit, that’s what. The soundtrack to this show is amazing, as are most Cirque soundtracks, but the reworking, mash-ups and brilliant original work of the group is particularly memorable.

Cirque Love

Cirque du Soleil: O – Belagio

Let’s discuss one more Cirque show while we’re at it. I’m a born swimmer and I love seeing high dives and crazy feats performed in water. The Cirque folk put a lot of work into their stage design and it pays off for this performance, as the stage can turn into a pool in no time, allowing for the performers to go from dancers to divers seamlessly.

Carrot Top – Luxor

I love Carrot Top’s energy and his frantic style. At the show we attended, he even passed out shots of Crown Royal to some lucky audience members, which made me respect the guy even more. Unfortunately he couldn’t hear a drunk Sip Advisor yelling, “I’m from Canada… I love Crown!” He even made a good impression on Mrs. Sip, who was hesitant at first to make this our show for the trip.

Carrot Top

There are other shows I would recommend, including Lion King (Mandalay Bay), and Jersey Boys (Planet Hollywood, although we saw it on tour in Vancouver). If they still were being performed on the strip, I’d also endorse Cirque du Soleil: Viva Elvis (Aria) and comedian Frank Caliendo (Monte Carlo).

After numerous trips to the city together, there’s still so much more we would like to see: Cirque du Soleil: Zumanity at New York, New York, Louie Anderson at The Excalibur, The Blue Man Group at Monte Carlo, and the list continues to grow with each visit.

Drink #89: Vegas Blowjob

Vegas Blowjob Shooter

  • 0.3 oz Banana Liqueur
  • 0.3 oz Spiced Rum
  • 0.3 oz Jagermeister
  • 0.3 oz Orange Juice
  • 0.3 oz Pineapple Juice
  • Garnish with a Condom

Here at Sip Adivsor Headquarters, we endorse safe sex. Just make sure you don’t accidentally ingest the rubber!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Where to begin with this shot! We added the condom garnish for a little humour, but I think it really completed the drink’s appearance. Plus, it was banana-flavoured, so it actually added a little essence to the shooter.