July 11 – Scorpion’s Tail

A Movie of Their Own

With the Minions (more on them later) getting their own movie, out in theatres this weekend, the Sip Advisor thought it would be a good time to look at other characters that proved so popular that they earned their own film(s). Kind of like how Mrs. Sip keeps trying to break away from me and launch her own brand… too bad for her, she’s under contract for years to come!

#5: The Scorpion King

After a brief appearance in The Mummy Returns (in one of the worst CGI effects of all-time), wrestling star The Rock launched his Hollywood career with his own film, as the titular Scorpion King. While it wasn’t going to garner any Oscar consideration, the action in this movie was great and the story pretty good, too. Three additional movies have joined the franchise, although The Rock vacated the role.

scorpions

#4: Machete

It’s funny that the ultraviolent Machete first appeared in the children’s movie franchise Spy Kids, before branching out on his own vigilante activities. Played to badass perfection by Danny Trejo (a former prison inmate before turning to acting), the Machete character has enjoyed two film installments to date, featuring massive deadly weapons, beautiful women, and a lot of creative kills.

#3: Puss in Boots

This suave little kitty stole out hearts, starting with Shrek 2, en route to his own movie and Netflix TV series. Puss in Boots may have existed since 1697, but he has never been more popular than when he sliced and purred his way through various enemies in the DreamWorks films. Voiced by Antonio Banderas, Puss is based on the classic character Zorro, another role tackled by Banderas.

puss in boots

#2: Inspector Jacques Clouseau

This bumbling detective character is a favourite of the Sip Family, as is star Peter Sellers. Just a side character in the first film of the franchise, The Pink Panther, Sellers stole the show away from lead David Niven and never looked back. As Clouseau, a number of additional movies were made under the Pink Panther banner, up until Sellers died in 1980, at the age of only 54.

#1: The Minions

I love these little yellow guys, despite the fact I can’t understand most of what they say. The trailer for this movie is pure gold, with the Minions switching from one evildoer to another, after accidentally killing their masters throughout the ages, including an Egyptian pharaoh, Dracula, Napoleon, and others.  I can’t wait to check out the movie and I know I’m not alone in that desire!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Scorpion’s Tail

  • 0.5 oz Coconut Rum
  • 0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
  • Top with Cranberry Juice
  • Splash of Pineapple Juice
  • Garnish with a Pineapple Wedge

Honourable mentions include Jay and Silent Bob, the Penguins of Madagascar, and Aldous Snow (Get Him to the Greek). I wasn’t sure how to handle comic characters, such as Wolverine and Elektra, as they are their own entities, so I’ll leave them in this section. Hate if you want, but let’s all just relax and have a drink!

July 5 – Evil Minion

Despicable You

Through the course of history, there’s been some real low-down, dirty, appalling tactics employed by people and groups. I have taken it upon myself to expose these despicable degenerates. Together, we can stand up to these scumbags and make sure bad stuff like this never happens again. Are ya with me!?

Airlines that Overbook Flights

This is the most absolute bullshit thing in the world. To turn away a paying customer and tell them “Sorry, the flight is full” should be punishable by death. I remember flying out of Toronto once (one of the worst airports in the world) and approaching the agent because I hadn’t been assigned a seat. She told me the plane was overbooked and I might not get on and if I really wanted to make sure I was on the plane I had paid for, next time I should pay the $30 extra for an assigned seat… Excuse me? Did I not already pay over $500 for this exact itinerary? If that’s the case, I better receive compensation and be guaranteed a spot on your next scheduled departure. Nothing like that was offered. This concept has ruined many vacations for people who don’t deserve this shoddy treatment. Go screw yourselves Air Canada and any other line that pulls this crap with its passengers!

overbooked flight

Disneyworld Guests Hiring Handicap People to Jump Queues

I still can’t figure out if I deplore these people because they’re line jumping, usually ahead of me (a frequent Disney traveler), or if I commend the employees for his or her entrepreneurial spirit. Scratch that, I hate them. I think these people should be stripped of their disability payments, since they’re making more money than the average person and get to spend time at the happiest place on earth while doing so. Even worst are the people who hire them. Shame on all of you!

People Who Take Advantage of Tragedies

It seems every time one of these disasters (9/11, BP Gulf Coast Spill, Hurricane Sandy, the Boston Marathon Bombing, etc.) takes place, stories eventually come to light of people trying to exploit the victims and heartbreak of the situation for their own financial gain. Whether it’s people setting up fake charitable organizations or committing other crimes, such as looting, in the middle of the chaos, it’s just not cool.

Ponzi Scheme Operators

This includes losers like Bernie Madoff, who bilked numerous investors out of millions of dollars. Many people walk away from these schemes with their entire life savings destroyed and for those who were relying on that money heading into retirement, it’s a bitter pill to swallow knowing the comfortable golden years you were expecting to experience have evaporated right in front of you.

Madoff behind bars

Reality Show Producers

I was recently flipping through the channels and stopped at the show ‘Extreme Weight Loss’. I didn’t stay for long, however, as the poor kid trying to drop massive pounds was basically mocked as he was told he may have a brain tumour, with a sound effect where they slowed down the voice of the doctor giving him the news, as if the kid couldn’t process what was happening. All the while, the cameras never stopped rolling and made sure to get tight and close for facial reactions of the devastating news that the 23-year-old kid had to receive without any family there to console him. And this is just one example from a totally rotten industry.

Talentless Celebrities

We’re talking about your Kim Kardashians, Paris Hiltons, and Snookies of the world. What pisses me off about them is that they influence so much of culture and in such negative ways. People, especially young girls, want to follow in the footsteps of their idols, but that just means they want to come from a family of means, do nothing but shop for all the high-end designer items, or have no reason for being famous except for “leaked” sex tapes. And we’ll have a whole new line of them coming with the current crop of celebrity kids. Yikes!

Bullies

With all the anti-bullying programs that are in operation now, schools that are taking different approaches with troubled kids, and parents becoming more aware of the issue, hopefully this will eventually be a problem that it eradicated. Until then, we can still try and put as much shame as possible on these folks, hoping they realize the error of their ways. It will be hard to complete eliminate the bully, as we see it in so many forms of media today, from a “news” host like Nancy Grace who berates anyone who doesn’t agree with her to “real housewives” who don’t play well with others and behave quite rudely towards people, despite being in the public eye.

bully-comeback

Protestors

I hate most protestors with a passion. Unless they’re trying to change something like civil rights, I have no time for them. The violent Black Bloc, who spend more time destroying public property than actually trying to get a message across and the heinous Westboro Baptist Church, which has even protested at high-profile funerals in the name of attention-seeking, are among the lowest of the low.

Corporations That Hide Cures

There is more money to be made from the sick than the healthy. That is a sad, but true fact. Rumours and conspiracy theories have often surfaced that some corporations are hiding the cure to various diseases and viruses because it would wipe out their business of treating an illness gradually. If there are cases for which this is true, shame on the companies. Just think of all the pain and suffering that could be ended with their full disclosure.

Drink #186: Evil Minion

Evil Minion Cocktail

  • 1.5 oz Citrus Vodka (I used Pinnacle)
  • 0.5 oz Strawberry Liqueur
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Sweet & Sour Mix
  • Splash of Club Soda
  • Garnish with Lemon Wheel

Writing this post reminded me how much I love the movie Despicable Me. Thankfully, Despicable Me 2 comes out today, allowing me to enjoy more animated goodness. Here’s hoping the second installment is as good as the first!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I like these sour citrus drinks. They are so refreshing in the summer and this was no different. While I usually find Club Soda boring, it was nice to have some fizz with these delicious flavours and have them not competing with each other. The end result was a lemonade type cocktail.