November 14 – False Alarm

Audial Dismay

Last week, we looked at the heavenly sounds that bring a smile to my face. This week, we’re not so lucky. This article might as well be called: “The Sounds that Keep the Sip Advisor Up at Night, Living in a Downtown Condo.” That’s simply too long, though, so here we go with the aptly titled “Bad Sounds”:

#5: Crying Babies/Kids

While this causes a natural instinct to kick in among mothers, it’s annoying as hell to everyone else in the general vicinity. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for the parents of a wailing youngster, as I know I will likely be in that position one day. That doesn’t stop the clamor from waking the Sip Advisor as he’s trying to catch a little shuteye on flights or enjoy the typically pleasant sounds of Disneyland. The worst is when a kid can turn it off and on, in an attempt to get attention.

cry boobs appear

#4: Trucks Backing Up

Beep, beep, BEEEEEEP… you get the point. Mrs. Sip and I live near a few businesses and I am often disturbed from my slumber by this increasingly annoying sound. I get the safety reason behind larger vehicles being able to warn people and other cars that they’re reversing, but why do these cautions have to be so loud, especially in the middle of the night in residential areas. Can’t you see a psychopathic driver setting his truck in reverse and then abandoning it, revelling in the misery of those within earshot!?

#3: Honking Horns

The Sip Advisor really hates people that are horn happy (almost called them horny, but I don’t discriminate there). The type of people that tap their horn whenever they are frustrated, regardless of if it’s justified or not. Yes, traffic might be backed up, but laying on your horn isn’t going to help matters. The worst is when I’m walking along, lost in thought and I’m startled by some idiot blaring his horn. Usually, when I looked around to see what the commotion is about, there’s no issue at all.

horn gun shots

#2: Alarm Clock

No matter how nice the file you choose on your phone or whether it’s your favourite song of all-time, when this noise wakes you up, you’re not very happy. It can actually make you turn sour on a song you used to enjoy, as I went through when Mrs. Sip used Californication by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers for a couple years. Now she uses Coldplay’s Paradise, but I’m not sure I ever really liked that song in the first place. The only good alarm is waking up naturally, on your own schedule.

#1: Car Alarms

Worse than an alarm you’re expecting, is one you don’t, especially if it goes unclaimed, as it always does in the case of useless car alarms. With all the street parking downtown, Mrs. Sip and I are subjected to car alarms on a near regularly basis. Worst of all, is when the terrorizing sounds follow you while camping, of all places. You figure you’re getting away from all the disturbances of city life when you’re out in the wilderness, but that wasn’t the case recently for us. I exasperatedly looked at Mrs. Sip and said, “We just can’t get away from it!”

Super Saturday Shot Day: False Alarm

Some honourable mentions include dripping water, insects buzzing by your head, and emergency vehicle sirens, which narrowly misses making the list because of its necessity. Have I missed a sound that you find absolutely unnecessary and deplorable? Let me know!

January 1 – Perfect Kiss

Mission Accomplished!!!

Well, my little sippers, we did it! *Confetti and streamers fall from the sky while fireworks erupt, setting off the ever-hated car alarms and the somewhat necessary sprinkler systems!*

missionaccomplished

365 days of boozing made 2013 a very memorable year… well, at least the parts of it I remember!

As I hop up onto my soapbox, I’d like to thank Mrs. Sip for first coming up with the idea for the project and supporting me throughout (at least until you were made more of a figurehead board member).

To anyone that provided liquor or anything else for any of the drinks made, especially Ma and Pa Sip, who often brought me items from their collection, to help with my recipes, I am humbly in your debt.

To all my fellow media moguls out there who helped along the way by liking a post, making my tweet a favourite, directing people to my site, and anything else, I couldn’t have reached the heights I did without your assistance.

For everyone out there in Sip Nation who took the time to read my wonderful prose, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. It takes a village to raise something, anything, and together we got this wicked site off the ground and launched it into orbit.

if-it-makes-a-difference

Getting things done regardless of the consequences!

So, I guess you’re wondering what’s next for The Sip Advisor. Well, here’s the long-awaited plan for 2014:

We’ll be switching gears from the 365-day project to a world showcase of sorts, as I virtually travel the planet and experience the feature libations of over 50 countries. Each week, the Sip Advisor will be in a new country with posts highlighting some of the features of each stop, as I drunkenly bounce around the globe.

Articles will be published every Monday and Thursday, starting January 6th with my home nation of Canada getting the proverbial ball rolling. From there, you never really know where I’ll end up… it’ll be like tracking down the infamous (and super sexy) Carmen Sandiego!

We’ll still rock the Super Saturday Shot Day entries, so join us every weekend for another shooter to get the party started. Finally, in my spare time, I’ll also be taking on various special projects for this spectacular site (including Product Reviews, Man vs. Liquor Challenges, and a yet-to-be-named Competition Page [please vote for your favourite: Spirit Skirmish/Scuffle, Recipe Row, Drink Dispute, Beverage/Bevvy Brawl, Booze Battles]. Stay tuned for all the developments.

And what Sip Advisor post would be complete without a drink recipe. Here’s one last little gift of thanks from me to you on this most glorious of days. Enjoy!

Drink #366: Perfect Kiss

Perfect Kiss Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz White Rum (I used Grand Melon)
  • 1 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Garnish with Berries

Much love and much thanks to you all you little sippers! I wish you nothing but the best in 2014!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is a great cocktail for celebrating that first kiss of 2014 with the nearest/dearest loved one! The drink was really nice and refreshing with tastes of berry, melon, citrus, and peach. It provided my first chance to use the spherical ice cubes Mrs. Sip got me molds for as a Christmas gift. Look out for my first product review post based on these little gems!

November 26 – Chocolate-Covered Pretzel

One Man Banned

Today’s drink aims to replicate a treat that should probably be banned in most households… because it’s so yummy and you end up shoveling so many in your mouth that you regret your binge later. While an actual prohibition on chocolate-covered pretzels would be heartbreaking, here are some items I would love to see disappear from this world!

Car Alarms

Hell, all alarms in general should be vanquished from the earth. The thing I can’t stand about car alarms is that owners don’t even respond to them. And in that case, why bother having one. I’m sure when one erupts and disturbs every single person in that vicinity; the person who owns the vehicle just assumes it belongs to someone else. Then, it goes on and on and on, until thoughts of hurling a large rock off your balcony and onto the offending vehicle cross your mind.

car-alarm

Leaf Blowers/Weed Wackers/Lawn Mowers

I have no qualms with all these devices meant to maintain a yard… providing they’re not used during ungodly hours. Mrs. Sip and I were recently awoken from our slumber at 7:15am by someone running a leaf blower outside our downtown apartment (everything involved with leafs seems to be horrible, including the hockey team!). And I can’t count the number of times a revved up lawn mowers has disturbed my sleep in the wee hours of the morning at Ma and Pa Sip’s home. Why can’t people wait until a decent hour to get out all the grooming toys?

Call Centre Menu Options

Let me start by retelling my most recent attempt at calling customer service. It seems every time I call, the option I want is the very last one you can choose out of 7-10 choices and what probably bugs me the most is when you enter in your account number (which is usually an unnecessary amount of digits) and then have to repeat it when you finally reach a live body. Isn’t that the whole reason I entered it in the first place!? By that point, you’re in no mood to speak to the representative and that’s a story unto itself.

Bluetooth

I’ll never forget riding the Disneyland Railroad and seeing some jackass with a blue tooth hooked up to his ear beside me on the train. Really!? Your important business couldn’t wait for after your day in the park? It was no wonder he was completely ignoring his child. Joke’s on him though, as all his hard work and not leaving the office behind while on vacation will help pay his kid’s therapy and lawyer costs, as he strives for the attention he was not offered as a youngster.

bluetooth

Speaker Phone

Equally infuriating are these losers that walk around yelling into their phone as they hold it over their mouth. If you’re already holding it over your mouth, why not use it like a normal phone. Oh, wait, you want to have ear buds inserted instead. Well, all you little sippers already know of my disdain for ear buds, so let’s give this ass hat their second strike. Now they’re in public and sharing all their personal details with strangers around them… strike three and you are out of here!

Difficult Packaging

This can range from hard to open chip bags and candy packages (a huge no-no in the Sip Advisor world) to bigger items that necessitate freakin’ bolt cutters and the like to get into. I can’t count the number of times I’ve almost severed an appendage (not the most important one, mind you) while trying to get into one of those plastic packaging dealies (sometimes called clamshells or blister packs) that doesn’t just pop open with those button-like clasps. By the time you get to your product, you just don’t want it anymore.

Drink #330: Chocolate-Covered Pretzel

Chocolate-Covered Pretzel Cocktail

  • Rim glass with Salt
  • 1.5 oz Smores Vodka
  • 1.5 oz Frangelico
  • Garnish with Chocolate-Covered Pretzels

Which infernal items out there would you like to see become illegal to possess? Together, we can make a difference… a drunken difference, but a difference, no less!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I think the more enjoyable part of this cocktail was eating the chocolate covered pretzels I used to garnish it, as well as the mass of the treats I butchered in an attempt to get two of them to be identical. The drink does taste slightly like a Chocolate-Covered Pretzel, despite me subbing out the suggested Whipped Cream Vodka for Smores Vodka.