One Man Banned
Today’s drink aims to replicate a treat that should probably be banned in most households… because it’s so yummy and you end up shoveling so many in your mouth that you regret your binge later. While an actual prohibition on chocolate-covered pretzels would be heartbreaking, here are some items I would love to see disappear from this world!
Hell, all alarms in general should be vanquished from the earth. The thing I can’t stand about car alarms is that owners don’t even respond to them. And in that case, why bother having one. I’m sure when one erupts and disturbs every single person in that vicinity; the person who owns the vehicle just assumes it belongs to someone else. Then, it goes on and on and on, until thoughts of hurling a large rock off your balcony and onto the offending vehicle cross your mind.
Leaf Blowers/Weed Wackers/Lawn Mowers
I have no qualms with all these devices meant to maintain a yard… providing they’re not used during ungodly hours. Mrs. Sip and I were recently awoken from our slumber at 7:15am by someone running a leaf blower outside our downtown apartment (everything involved with leafs seems to be horrible, including the hockey team!). And I can’t count the number of times a revved up lawn mowers has disturbed my sleep in the wee hours of the morning at Ma and Pa Sip’s home. Why can’t people wait until a decent hour to get out all the grooming toys?
Call Centre Menu Options
Let me start by retelling my most recent attempt at calling customer service. It seems every time I call, the option I want is the very last one you can choose out of 7-10 choices and what probably bugs me the most is when you enter in your account number (which is usually an unnecessary amount of digits) and then have to repeat it when you finally reach a live body. Isn’t that the whole reason I entered it in the first place!? By that point, you’re in no mood to speak to the representative and that’s a story unto itself.
I’ll never forget riding the Disneyland Railroad and seeing some jackass with a blue tooth hooked up to his ear beside me on the train. Really!? Your important business couldn’t wait for after your day in the park? It was no wonder he was completely ignoring his child. Joke’s on him though, as all his hard work and not leaving the office behind while on vacation will help pay his kid’s therapy and lawyer costs, as he strives for the attention he was not offered as a youngster.
Equally infuriating are these losers that walk around yelling into their phone as they hold it over their mouth. If you’re already holding it over your mouth, why not use it like a normal phone. Oh, wait, you want to have ear buds inserted instead. Well, all you little sippers already know of my disdain for ear buds, so let’s give this ass hat their second strike. Now they’re in public and sharing all their personal details with strangers around them… strike three and you are out of here!
This can range from hard to open chip bags and candy packages (a huge no-no in the Sip Advisor world) to bigger items that necessitate freakin’ bolt cutters and the like to get into. I can’t count the number of times I’ve almost severed an appendage (not the most important one, mind you) while trying to get into one of those plastic packaging dealies (sometimes called clamshells or blister packs) that doesn’t just pop open with those button-like clasps. By the time you get to your product, you just don’t want it anymore.
Drink #330: Chocolate-Covered Pretzel
- Rim glass with Salt
- 1.5 oz Smores Vodka
- 1.5 oz Frangelico
- Garnish with Chocolate-Covered Pretzels
Which infernal items out there would you like to see become illegal to possess? Together, we can make a difference… a drunken difference, but a difference, no less!
Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I think the more enjoyable part of this cocktail was eating the chocolate covered pretzels I used to garnish it, as well as the mass of the treats I butchered in an attempt to get two of them to be identical. The drink does taste slightly like a Chocolate-Covered Pretzel, despite me subbing out the suggested Whipped Cream Vodka for Smores Vodka.