The Dumb Things You’ll Do
Recently, Mrs. Sip and I stumbled across an article titled: 24 Things You Only Do When You’re Drunk. Well, my little sippers, being an expert of sorts, I decided to see how accurate this listing is. Here are the results:
Become indiscriminately amorous – With Mrs. Sip, hell yeah… but she’ll be the first to tell you that activity isn’t reserved for moments of inebriation.
Dance aggressively, with no respect for other people’s personal space – I would say I’ve never done this, but video evidence from my 30th birthday in Hawaii says otherwise!
Attempt choreographed dance moves with your friends – While I have doubts about debunking the previous entry, I can definitely say I’ve never done choreography.
Suddenly remember a key skill from your youth, and insist on demonstrating it – Okay, guilty as charged on this one… it seems I can’t go one really good boozing night without busting out a handstand or high dive. Luckily I usually have Ma and Pa Sip’s pool around for that diving stuff!
Impulse-buy stupid things on Amazon/eBay – I’ve never really been an online shopper. Impulsive food, drink, and snack shopping is as far as I go.
Convince yourself that karaoke is a good idea – I don’t think I’m alone when I say that the only times (unfortunately pluralized) I’ve ever done karaoke are when I’ve been on a bender.
Have a nice lie down in the street – I wish I couldn’t say I’d done this, but once again, photo evidence does not lie. During my bachelor party in Seattle, I went for a brief concrete nap before my buddies picked me up and got me back to our hotel!
Chat to complete strangers in the toilets – I’m not ashamed to admit this has happened, but I’m never the one to spark up a conversation, merely just a somewhat willing participant in replying.
Regard a Jägerbomb with anything other than fear and revulsion – I don’t know why Jagerbombs get such a bad rap. I’ve never viewed them with fear and revulsion and I’m just as likely to participate in dropping one at the start of the night as I am a few drinks deep.
Overshare on Facebook – I don’t think I’ve ever crossed this blurred line. My life is a pretty open book however, so perhaps I’ve offended without ever meaning to.
Leave a mean comment on someone else’s status – You better believe I’ve wanted to do this, especially to a certain someone who I won’t name here, but it’s not in my nature.
Tweet something dumb that you’ll regret in the morning – I only tweet about this wonderful site’s posts and trust me, I never regret any of that work!
Make unwanted physical advances – What are we talking about here? How physical does an advance have to be before it’s unwanted? I’m going do a little experiment the next time I’m blasted.
Have arguments about trivial things that escalate really dramatically and end up breaking a decade-long friendship – This is what my relationship to Mrs. Sip is all about, minus the break-ups. In the end, she knows that I’m always right!
Tell your friends exactly what you think of them – Uh, yeah, they’re all pretty wicked, thanks for asking!
Buy endless rounds, as if money has no meaning – I take my turn in chipping in for pitchers and am very generous with my ample collection at The Sip Advisor headquarters, but I’ve never been one to order countless rounds… unless at an open bar!
Decide that somebody is your soulmate forever, despite only having just met them in a taxi queue – This would only occur if I’m so smashed I don’t remember who Mrs. Sip is. It hasn’t happened yet, to my knowledge.
Make really brilliant plans that you then forget the next day – I make SO many brilliant plans that there’s no way I’m going to remember all of them. It should be noted that Mrs. Sip and I aren’t the type of people to make those crazy drunken plans and not follow through with them.
Share your innermost feelings – I remember getting plastered on my 19th birthday and writing this long rambling message to Mrs. Sip (who had recently left for England to do a year studying abroad). It was very personal… so personal I had a friend spellcheck it for me because I could barely type at that point. I’m still surprised she’s stuck with me!
Reveal inappropriate secrets – Mrs. Sip will verify that I’m the least gossipy person you could ever meet. I just don’t care to share other people’s private info. I’m a virtual lock box, baby!
Carry home something random you found in the street – I’ve never really been a collector of found items. I’m just not interested in the time it would take to stop, examine something, take it, and find a place for it at home.
Ask the cab driver to put on Magic FM, and could he please turn it up – I don’t even know what Magic FM is and I usually appreciate whatever the cabbie is listening to, particularly if it’s in a foreign language!
Fall asleep on public transport and wake up at the end of the line – I’m not shy about my disdain for public transport, so there’s no way in hell, no matter how shitfaced I am, that I would ever fall asleep on a vehicle and not make my stop.
Text your ex – I’ve never had an ex (yet!), so this doesn’t really apply to me, unless you count the odd time I’ve messaged a friend I haven’t seen or heard from in a while because it just felt like a good time to do so!
Drink #331: Sweet Tart
- 0.75 oz Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
- 0.75 oz Midori
- Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
- Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
- Garnish with Sweet Tarts
Perhaps today’s drink will give you the impetus to see how many of these you can knock off the checklist! Happy drinking!!!
Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
There are numerous recipes for the Sweet Tart drink. In fact, every recipe seems to have some variation. Deciding on which to use depends on your preference of ingredients and which elements you have on hand. I thoroughly suggest using my version of the martini because it was absolutely delicious and tasted exactly like a Sweet Tart. Don’t trust me? Make one for yourself!