July 25 – Lipstick Lesbian

Coming Out

With Pride weekend upon us, I thought it would be a good opportunity to look at the greatest LGBT characters… and there are a lot of them, making this list very hard to narrow down. Somehow, the Sip Advisor was able to thin the herd, so let’s get to it!

#5: Daffyd Thomas – Little Britain

While he claims to be the only gay in the village, Daffyd takes exception when he’s not being recognized for his sexuality and while he feels he’s turning heads and making a statement, everyone else is totally cool with his lifestyle. In fact, many of the townspeople are also members of the LGBT community. Ironically, when others reveal their sexual orientation, Daffyd is prone to homophobic outbursts.

Daffyd Thomas - Little Britain

#4: Lafayette Reynolds – True Blood

The heavy make-up wearing, eyelash extension rocking short order cook makes the world of Bon Temps go round, in his own unique way.  Interestingly, Lafayette is killed off very early in The Southern Vampire Mysteries books, but the TV series took a different approach, as the character proved to be so popular with audiences. In a world full of horny, indiscriminate vampires, anything and everything can happen.

#3: Mr./Mrs. Garrison – South Park

Garrison has been everything from a straight male, to a gay male, to a transgendered straight female, to finally a transgendered lesbian female. Covering the entire gamut, Garrison is one of the show’s funniest characters and would make for a fascinating teacher. We have to remember that this is a universe where Satan also identifies as gay, having been in a relationship with Saddam Hussein of all people!

Mr. Garrison

#2: Waylon Smithers – The Simpsons

Poor Mr. Smithers… all he wants is to be loved and respected by his boss, Mr. Burns, who barely acknowledges his existence and hard work. The writers of The Simpsons joke that Mr. Smithers is “Burns-sexual,” although he is regularly seen as a fixed member of the Springfield LGBT community and social scene. Hopefully Mr. Smithers finds happiness, whether with or without Mr. Burns.

#1: Cam & Mitchell – Modern Family

Cam and Mitchell put the “modern” in Modern Family more so than any of the other characters. Over the course of the show, we’ve seen Cam and Mitchell’s relationship grow to include the adoption of a daughter and tying the knot. Throughout it all, the rest of the family has been incredibly supportive, even Mitchell’s old school father Jay, who while he doesn’t always show it, is very proud of his son.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Lipstick Lesbian

  • Wrap glass with Rainbow Candy
  • 0.5 oz Watermelon Pucker
  • 0.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
  • Splash of Cranberry Juice
  • Dash of Sour Mix
  • Garnish with a Lime Wedge

Some honourable mentions go to Lt. Jim Dangle (Reno 911), Dean Craig Pelton (Community), Lloyd Lee (Entourage), Oscar Martinez (The Office), Mr. Humphries (Are You Being Served?), Ray Gillette (Archer), Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and – allegedly! – Bert and Ernie (Sesame Street). Have I missed anyone? Feel free to let me know below!

Netherlands – Amsterdammertje

Red Light Diaries

No trip to the Netherlands would be truly complete without a stroll through Amsterdam’s infamous Red Light District. No matter how illicit you want to get, it is a cultural experience that must be enjoyed. Mrs. Sip and I imbibed a little too much while we were in the “Venice of the North” (seriously, every place is the Venice of something!), but I’m itching to go back and try my luck again!

Amsterdam actually has three Red Light Districts, but the most famous of them is the area also known as ‘De Wallen’ in Old Amsterdam. This Red Light Distrcit has existed for hundreds of years. Since the 14th century, brothels have called the region along the city’s numerous canals, home. Once banned, but tolerated if kept underground, houses of ill repute were first allowed in 1811 and were frequented by French soldiers.

Hot Chicks RLD

Prostitution is legal in the Netherlands and with any time spent in the Red Light District, you will be sure to see an array of women (and on some occasions, even men) advertising themselves through red-light lit windows for various services. If you agree upon a price with one of the workers, you will be ushered into their cabin. It is a big no-no to take any photos of the workers, some of whom are students making money for their studies.

De Wallen is also famous for their Coffee Shops, where locals and tourists alike can eat, smoke, or even drink any number of normally illegal substances. These shops are licensed by the Dutch government. It should be noted that these stores are prohibited from selling alcohol and cigarettes, so you’ll have to get your drink and normal smoking done elsewhere.

There are also live sex shows, sex museums, sex theatres, sex shops (sex, sex, sex, is that all you ever think about!), bars and clubs, museums, and even a department store. In fact, Amsterdam is home to 51 different museums, making it one of the most museum-populated cities in the world. You should enjoy the destination while it lasts, as there are fears it will eventually disappear, given most of the city is already below sea level.

What's a RLD

If you want to see the city, but aren’t so interested in the darker activities offered in the Red Light District, there are a number of other attractions definitely worth checking out. This includes: Canal Cruises, Walking Tours, the Heineken Experience, the Vodka Museum, the House of Bols, the Anne Frank House, the Van Gogh Museum, the Rembrandthouse, and the Rijksmuseum, which is described as the Louvre of the Netherlands.

Amsterdam is the bicycle capital of Europe, with one million bikes for a population of 700,000 people. Any travelers spending time around the city or going through the Red Light District, should always be vigilant and keep an eye out for bicyclists and whether or not they’ve accidentally entered onto a bike path. I suppose given all the libations available in the city, intoxicated biking is better than driving!

Some events to keep in mind if planning a trip to Amsterdam are King’s Day in April, providing the perfect excuse for crazy parties and the High Times Cannabis Cup, described as “five days of pure hedonism,” in late-November. Worldwide events, such as Pride and New Year’s Eve, when celebrated in Amsterdam sound quite interesting. For Pride, there’s a naughty boat parade through the canals, while at New Year’s, most bars don’t even open until midnight hits.

Netherlands: Amsterdammertje

Amsterdammertje Cocktail

  • 1.25 oz Jenever
  • 0.75 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Top with Cranberry Juice
  • Garnish with Cranberries

Talk about crazy folks: Adults in the Netherlands like to add sprinkles (like the ones used as an ice cream sundae topping) onto their toast. This is something the Sip Advisor will surely have to try in the future!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
Friends of Mrs. Sip and myself visited the House of Bols while they were in the Netherlands and were incredibly kind enough to pick us up a couple treats, while there. This included this wonderful bottle of Bols Jenever that I used for our Around the World stop here, as well as a cocktail recipe booklet, which is hilariously in Dutch (English version does not exist yet) and requires some Google translating! This is one of the drinks that looked fun to make and it certainly hit the spot on the taste scale.

September 22 – Happy Birthday-tini

Sip Advisor Appreciation Day

Guess what day it is today? That’s right, it’s MY BIRTHDAY!!! *streamers and confetti fall from the roof of every person reading this post* While I have yet to perfect the streamer technology, it is the duty of every little sipper to find some way to honour yours truly. If you’re having trouble coming up with a tribute, here are some suggestions I’m more than happy to pass along!:

Do a Site Drink Challenge

To this date, we’ve made 264 drinks and it would be some feat if a fine fellow or fellowette out there tried to have each and every one of them… in one day, no less. If you don’t feel up to the challenge, you could resort to doing a Site Shot Challenge, but even in that case, you’d have to down 38 shooters. Last idea, just try all the 5-star cocktails or original recipes. Ready, set, go!

drink challenge

Donate to the Cause

If anybody actually wants to do this, whether it is in monetary form, booze supply form, or some variation of a licensing or endorsement deal, please let me know. Remember, I’m conducting this project from Canada, home to some of the worst liquor taxes in the history of the known world. Monopoly money is also a form of currency that I operate under, so feel free to make it rain for me!

Suggest a Recipe or Article Idea

With a pretty steady readership, I’m still a little surprised more people don’t write in to voice their opinion, give me crap about my opinions, or suggest drinks and topics (for all the readers who have made comments to me in person, as I’ve have previously pointed out, my short term memory isn’t what it’s used to be since I started this blog!). Here’s your impetus if you want to let your voice be heard. If you think I’m the cat’s pajamas, let me know. Mrs. Sip has this theory that I’m not as cool as I think I am, so it would be wonderful to have some empirical evidence to back up my hypothesis!

Have a Parade

Using an array of booze-themed floats, disrupt the traffic patterns of your hometown and let chaos ensue. Don’t worry about any repercussions, as it won’t be long before a conga line of sorts grows from the multitude of Sip Advisor supporters. I want this to be the alcoholic version of a Pride parade… outlandish outfits, sex toys, and just a wild party atmosphere. The only difference: lots of liquor and public intoxication (I guess that happens at Pride, too)!

funny-dog-tricks-parade

Have a Drink in My Honour

If this is how you choose to salute the Sip Man, you have to fully recite the following statement before AND after downing a shot or cocktail: “To the Sip Advisor, the greatest man on the face of the earth. May he always have a cocktail nearby and a Mrs. Sip sans clothing!” It would probably work best if you used one of my recipes, preferably an original formula, but I’m not going to tell you how to live your life!

Erect a Statue of My Likeness

I don’t care what material you use, although I am partial to macaroni art. I feel macaroni is one of the few substances that can truly project my supple curves. I don’t really have time to pose for you, so if you need a photo, just give me a shout and I’ll make sure to send one of me doing something epic like napping, playing video games, or sitting on a park bench feeding kitties.

statues funny

This would work, too!

Get Blotto and Spread the Sip Gospel

This could be summed up as “Tell a Friend” about the site. The more this online booze heaven grows, the better for all you little sippers. Like some kind of demonic monster, I feed on the energy of my loyal readers and the tears of those who just can’t handle what I’m laying down. The more I level up with experience points, the better and soon the words “global phenomenon” and The Sip Advisor will always been mentioned together. Get in on the ground floor!

Like us on Facebook

That’s right, we have advanced to the point where we are pursuing social media as a legitimate advertising tool (I’m sure we’re ahead of the curve on this!) and our little slice of the global phenomenon can be found here. All posts will show up through that page, so you’ll never miss an update ever again!

Drink #265: Happy Birthday-tini

Sept 22

  • Rim glass with Sprinkles
  • 1.5 oz Smores Vodka
  • 1.5 oz Creme de Cacao
  • 1 oz Amaretto
  • 0.5 oz Chocolate Liqueur
  • Top with Milk
  • Garnish with Sprinkles (can’t have enough!)

It’s kind of ironic that my birthday marks the last 100 days of the year and therefore, this 365-day drink challenge. Let’s make it a memorable centurion of drinks!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked this drink a fair bit. I don’t know if it was helped along by the fact that it’s my birthday recipe and I’m feeling all jovial, but the taste was very satisfying, as well. The Sprinkle Rim was amazing and I was so happy with how it turned out. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

June 29 – Seven Deadly Sins

Sin-tillating

The Seven Deadly Sins have always fascinated me. I have one problem with them though. Looking back, I know I’ve broken each and every one of them and I’m still kicking ass. Here’s how I’ve broken all the rules (and lived to tell about it)!

Seven Deadly Sins

Lust

Have you seen Mrs. Sip? How could you NOT lust over this gorgeous creature? Perhaps I haven’t been busted for this sin because my advances are often rebuffed. It kind of makes sense. She can’t just give it away for free… or so I’ve been told. Similarly, sometimes I pass by a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself. Unlike Narcissus, I’m able to pull myself away from this godly image for happy hours!

Greed

If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d have more time to be greedy. That said, I do find great pleasure in my possessions, notably my prized muddler, cocktail shaker and jigger. Some of my favoruite characters are the type who have everything and would be hard to buy gifts for, including Scrooge McDuck, Iron Man, and the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

Envy

I get jealous every time I walk into a bar and see their liquor collection. While my cabinet is nothing short of amazing, I would love to have all the different flavours at my disposal that most lounges have. I’ll get there one day, but it seems every time I add a couple bottles, I run out of other spirits. It’s a constant vicious circle which I plan to eventually conquer.

Seven Sins

Gluttony

I am prone to the occasional feast, usually centered on chips and cookies as main courses! Then, in reverse order, we follow up with starters of pulled pork, hot dogs, burgers, and a menagerie of side dishes. Dessert still finishes the meal and is comprised of a complete ice cream sundae bar, with a million toppings, like crushed chocolate bars, cookie bits, syrups and, of course, sprinkles!

Sloth

Let’s look at my daily schedule: wake up, watch TV, drink, take a nap, drink some more, order food to be delivered, watch more TV, go to bed. Yup, seems like I can check off this sin, as well. It gets a little sad when you end up making an indentation in your favourite couch spot. This is as close to marking your territory as a human should get though, so we should all let it slide.

sloth

Wrath

Hell hath no fury like the Sip Advisor scorned… in general, I’m like the Ned Flanders of the liquor world, letting folks walk all over me. But just like when ol’ Neddy finally hit his breaking point and snapped in epic proportions, I’ve been known to spontaneously combust and when that occurs, look out. Richter scale readings have been registered when I boil over and go boom.

Pride

I can be a very boastful person… you have to be when you’re a blog entrepreneur. I have no problem annoying Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets with my posts and advertising this wonderful site that has brought so much pleasure to me and perhaps even to one or two others. If you have a problem with this, I’d like to see you stop me!

Drink #180: Seven Deadly Sins

Seven Deadly Sins Shooter

  • 0.25 oz Southern Comfort
  • 0.25 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
  • 0.25 oz Sambuca
  • 0.25 oz Blue Curacao
  • 0.25 oz Kahlua
  • 0.25 oz Grenadine

As it says in my mixology app, the seventh sin is drinking the shot… well, consider that done!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Layer the ingredients in order from the bottom to the top. I thought this shot tasted really good, with a slight burn, but nothing too extreme. The layering of spirits worked out reasonably well, although some of the colours blended together, like the Kahlua and Blue Curacao. You can’t win ’em all!