December 27 – Hammered Farmer

Experience Points

I got to thinking the other day about things that must be experienced as a drinker. The rites of passage as a boozehound, if you will. Here’s some of the items that crossed my mind and I believe made me the Sip Advisor I am today!

Drink from a Funnel – Friends of Mrs. Sip and myself had this funnel they called Skeletor (thanks to it being a skull), which was fun drinking out of and made for a good dare as part of drinking games.

Funnel Fail

Do a Keg Stand – As a kid, I was always standing on my head. It’s something I did well and I still do head stands on many objects I find. Combine that with chugging beer and you have the infamous keg stand. I think I did pretty well in my only attempt.

Use a Flask – I first bought a flask in my early 20’s and have since upgraded to a much nicer one, which I gave out to each of the groomsmen and ushers in my wedding. As I’ve written before, Fireball is my go-to flask filler and it has seen me through many wild nights.

Buy Booze as a Minor – While I didn’t frequently do this, it did happen from on a couple occasions and without incident. It truly shows your dedication to the sport.

Enjoy an Open Bar – I’ve been lucky enough to attend a few “open bar” functions in my time. Sometimes those bars haven’t been very lucky to have me as a guest!

Rent a Keg – This is something I have yet to do personally. Sure, I’ve been to the odd keg party, but I’ve never hosted one. We’ve often bandied about the idea of getting a keg for my annual beer pong tournament, but letting folks drink whatever they wish has always won out over the mass serving. I did have a mini keg that travelled through some of Europe with me, if that counts.

Tap the Keg

Drunken Karaoke – Is there any other kind of karaoke!?

Buy a Round for a Group – It’s always important to take your rightful turn in buying drinks for the group. Just make sure you get yours back in due time.

Invent a Cocktail – Clearly this is no longer an outstanding issue for the Sip Advisor…

Buy a Woman a Drink – Does Mrs. Sip count? If so, then check!

Play Drinking Games – Whether it’s Beer Pong, Quarters, King’s Cup, Flippy Cup, or anything else, drinking games are an essential element of boozing fun. I’d say go easy on rookies, but they should know what they’re getting themselves into.

battle-shots

Go on a Beer/Wine Tour – In the course of this project, I’ve detailed the wine and beer tours I’ve been privileged to go on. Next up comes some visits to hard alcohol distilleries.

Do a Shot Challenge – Whether it’s one you create on your own or something hosted by a bar, these are always a fun way to get smashed and stretch your drinking limits. Mrs. Sip and I took part in one notable challenge in Nice, France, where we (along with three others) had to down all of our 10 shots in successive order. I was the only one ballsy enough to include a couple Flatliners in my set.

Visit a Beer Hall – Drinking around the world has become a huge part of travel for Mrs. Sip and I, whether it’s trying news beers, wines, and spirits, or visiting booze landmarks across the globe. The beer hall we enjoyed in Munich, Germany was among these great memories.

Do a Pub Crawl – Man are these fun… I’ve done crawls in a lot of parts of the world (Key West, Florida; Preston, England; Honolulu, Hawaii; etc.) and they’re always full of laughs, adventure, and of course alcohol. Map out a route and hit the town!

Bar Crawl

Survive a Hangover – Does it count if I’ve helped someone through their hangover? Remember, the Sip Advisor is immune from rough morning afters.

Be Known by Name at a Bar – While I have yet to find a place “where everybody knows my name”, the Sip Alliance was recognized at The Yard House in Hawaii as “Oh, you guys are back!”

Ride a Mechanical Bull – This should only be done while blitzed because it limbers you up for the eventual fall. I achieved this at the PBR Rock Bar in Las Vegas this year (twice!) and it was totally worth the resulting crotch bruising.

Hit Multiple Fast Food Joints on the Same NightGuilty as charged. Just the other day, Mrs. Sip and I grabbed some Mickie D’s takeout and while passing by a Mega Bite pizza shop, I joked we should grab some slices for the road as well. Before I knew it, Mrs. Sip was in there snatching some before we were on our way again!

Drink #361: Hammered Farmer

Hammered Farmer Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Spiced Rum (I used New Orleans)
  • Top with Root Beer
  • Splash of Apple-Lime Juice
  • Garnish with a Lemon Wheel

What else do you think qualifies as a rite of passage for experienced drinkers? I wanted to include my feat of drinking a beer underwater, but Mrs. Sip insisted it was so rare and awesome that I was the only that would qualify. She’s always pumping my tires!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is one of those bizarre recipes where they recommend way too much booze to make a decent drink. They say you should use 4 oz of Spiced Rum. While that will achieve the desired effect of being a Hammered Farmer, the cocktail’s taste will be way too strong. I dumbed the ingredients down to make a tasty drink where you can taste each element being presented. You’ll still get blasted, it just won’t be from one serving!

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September 22 – Happy Birthday-tini

Sip Advisor Appreciation Day

Guess what day it is today? That’s right, it’s MY BIRTHDAY!!! *streamers and confetti fall from the roof of every person reading this post* While I have yet to perfect the streamer technology, it is the duty of every little sipper to find some way to honour yours truly. If you’re having trouble coming up with a tribute, here are some suggestions I’m more than happy to pass along!:

Do a Site Drink Challenge

To this date, we’ve made 264 drinks and it would be some feat if a fine fellow or fellowette out there tried to have each and every one of them… in one day, no less. If you don’t feel up to the challenge, you could resort to doing a Site Shot Challenge, but even in that case, you’d have to down 38 shooters. Last idea, just try all the 5-star cocktails or original recipes. Ready, set, go!

drink challenge

Donate to the Cause

If anybody actually wants to do this, whether it is in monetary form, booze supply form, or some variation of a licensing or endorsement deal, please let me know. Remember, I’m conducting this project from Canada, home to some of the worst liquor taxes in the history of the known world. Monopoly money is also a form of currency that I operate under, so feel free to make it rain for me!

Suggest a Recipe or Article Idea

With a pretty steady readership, I’m still a little surprised more people don’t write in to voice their opinion, give me crap about my opinions, or suggest drinks and topics (for all the readers who have made comments to me in person, as I’ve have previously pointed out, my short term memory isn’t what it’s used to be since I started this blog!). Here’s your impetus if you want to let your voice be heard. If you think I’m the cat’s pajamas, let me know. Mrs. Sip has this theory that I’m not as cool as I think I am, so it would be wonderful to have some empirical evidence to back up my hypothesis!

Have a Parade

Using an array of booze-themed floats, disrupt the traffic patterns of your hometown and let chaos ensue. Don’t worry about any repercussions, as it won’t be long before a conga line of sorts grows from the multitude of Sip Advisor supporters. I want this to be the alcoholic version of a Pride parade… outlandish outfits, sex toys, and just a wild party atmosphere. The only difference: lots of liquor and public intoxication (I guess that happens at Pride, too)!

funny-dog-tricks-parade

Have a Drink in My Honour

If this is how you choose to salute the Sip Man, you have to fully recite the following statement before AND after downing a shot or cocktail: “To the Sip Advisor, the greatest man on the face of the earth. May he always have a cocktail nearby and a Mrs. Sip sans clothing!” It would probably work best if you used one of my recipes, preferably an original formula, but I’m not going to tell you how to live your life!

Erect a Statue of My Likeness

I don’t care what material you use, although I am partial to macaroni art. I feel macaroni is one of the few substances that can truly project my supple curves. I don’t really have time to pose for you, so if you need a photo, just give me a shout and I’ll make sure to send one of me doing something epic like napping, playing video games, or sitting on a park bench feeding kitties.

statues funny

This would work, too!

Get Blotto and Spread the Sip Gospel

This could be summed up as “Tell a Friend” about the site. The more this online booze heaven grows, the better for all you little sippers. Like some kind of demonic monster, I feed on the energy of my loyal readers and the tears of those who just can’t handle what I’m laying down. The more I level up with experience points, the better and soon the words “global phenomenon” and The Sip Advisor will always been mentioned together. Get in on the ground floor!

Like us on Facebook

That’s right, we have advanced to the point where we are pursuing social media as a legitimate advertising tool (I’m sure we’re ahead of the curve on this!) and our little slice of the global phenomenon can be found here. All posts will show up through that page, so you’ll never miss an update ever again!

Drink #265: Happy Birthday-tini

Sept 22

  • Rim glass with Sprinkles
  • 1.5 oz Smores Vodka
  • 1.5 oz Creme de Cacao
  • 1 oz Amaretto
  • 0.5 oz Chocolate Liqueur
  • Top with Milk
  • Garnish with Sprinkles (can’t have enough!)

It’s kind of ironic that my birthday marks the last 100 days of the year and therefore, this 365-day drink challenge. Let’s make it a memorable centurion of drinks!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked this drink a fair bit. I don’t know if it was helped along by the fact that it’s my birthday recipe and I’m feeling all jovial, but the taste was very satisfying, as well. The Sprinkle Rim was amazing and I was so happy with how it turned out. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!