Turkey – Fly Swatter

Shop Til You Drop

Traversing the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul, Turkey can be a daunting task. The Sip Advisor, never one to leave anybody behind, will make sure we all get through unscathed, much like I did for Mrs. Sip in the markets of Egypt… except for that one guy who copped a feel of Mrs. Sip’s beautiful behind when I stopped paying attention, frustrated over the haggling between shopkeeper and customer. Let’s cautiously explore together!

There are also Grand Bazaars in Isfahan, Iran; Tehran, Iran; Urumqi, Xinjiang, China; and Tabriz, Iran. The Istanbul version is the oldest and one of the largest covered markets in the world. It spans 61 streets (each is dedicated to a particular profession) and houses over 3,000 stores. Anywhere between 250,000 to 400,000 people will visit the site each day. The Bazaar is open Monday through Saturday, 9:00am to 7:00pm, and entrance is free. Along with Sundays, the market is closed during religious holidays. The facility employs a colossal 26,000 people. Competition from modern day malls does exist, but the Bazaar has history on its side.

Grand Bazaar

There are four main gates to the Bazaar, including the “Second-Hand Book Sellers’ Gate” in the north, the “Skullcap Sellers’ Gate” in the south, the “Jewellers’ Gate” in the east, and the “Women’s Clothiers’ Gate” in the west. Each entrance is locked every night when the market is closed and opened up again in the morning.

Dealing with the high-pressure salespeople at the market can be a bit of a pain and the haggling system is something that thrills some and perplexes others. The Sip Advisor falls into the puzzled category, preferring marked prices over the mystery of bartering. If you want nothing to do with the dealing, simply walk by and say, “No thanks.” This usually works, except for the occasional loser who physically tries to get your attention and then it’s time for the Sip Advisor to “Hulk up” and throw a couple patented flying forearms.

A restoration of the Bazaar began in 2012 to solve many of the issues plaguing the market. Most notably, the lack of restrooms (I guess you could just pee wherever you like before) and repairing the infrastructure to combat the risk of any future earthquakes. Updates to the facility’s heating and lighting systems are also being carried out.

construction-meme

Construction for what would become the Grand Bazaar began in 1455-56, at the behest of Sultan Mehmet II, and lasted until 1460-61. This building, dedicated to the trading of textiles was soon joined by another building, constructed under Sultan Suleyman I. The textile market was moved to this new structure while luxury goods occupied the older building. The space between and around the edifices was quickly inhabited by other shops, creating a larger market scene. By the 17th century, the Bazaar had taken full shape and become the hub of Mediterranean trade thanks to the quantity, quality, and variety of goods that could be found there.

Fires, earthquakes, and other disasters afflicted the Bazaar over time. There were at least a dozen fires between 1515 and 1701, many of which caused great damage to the shops and structures. The expansion of the 19th century textile industry into western Europe and advancements in production methods took a major toll on the Grand Bazaar, which saw rental prices fall sharply compared to previous decades. Perhaps the Sip Advisor should set up shop in the place and regale customers with my tales of boozery!

The market has also seen its fair share of corruption. The most notable case took place in 1591 when 30,000 gold coins were stolen. The Grand Bazaar was shut down for two weeks while suspects (and likely completely innocent folks) were tortured by the forces tasked with solving the crime. The missing coins were found under some flooring and a young Persian musk dealer was to blame. He was hanged for his transgression, although Sultan Murad III saved him from being tortured to death.

hanged-man

While the Bazaar is now sectioned off into separate “stores”, it used to be that sellers each had their own stall, six to eight feet wide. There was no advertising by shopkeepers (even store names were not displayed) and a buyer could sit down with a vendor over Turkish coffee and come to an agreement in a relaxed conversation. Herbs and spices, crystal, jewellery, silk goods, sandals, armour and weapons, and books are among the items you might be able to find at the Bazaar.  Thankfully, I don’t need any of those.

The market used to operate in a guild system and because of this and the ethics of Islam, business operators didn’t compete as they do today. Prices were fixed to a standard number and success was shared among the union. Western influences changed that, as did other nationalities entering the Bazaar world to sell their wares. There was also a lack of restaurants in the market back in the day. You could still find simple items such as kebabs, but most workers brought their lunch from home. The Bazaar was a place for social gatherings among Turks, much like punk kids meet at the mall today to stare at their smartphones.

Nowadays, I only go to the mall to enjoy a cold beer. I don’t think that would be happening in Turkey, so might as well stay here and enjoy my own stock!

Turkey: Fly Swatter

Fly Swatter Cocktail

  • 1 oz Cognac
  • 1 oz Scotch
  • 0.5 oz Raki
  • Top with Orange Juice and Apple Juice
  • Garnish with Orange Wedge

I’m not big on shopping in general, but these market set-ups really take the cake. How do all you little sippers feel about them? Love’em? Hate’em? Just plain don’t care? Let me know. I’m glad we all made it through the Bazaar and only a handful of you lost your spouses or fortunes. Next up, we try Turkey’s traditional national sport: oiled wrestling. Yup, you read that right!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I altered the ingredients slightly, using Sparkling Orange Juice, rather than plain old OJ and Apple-Lime Juice, instead of regular AJ. The result was pretty good for this booze heavy cocktail and the only ingredient I worried about, the Raki, fit in just right.

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December 27 – Hammered Farmer

Experience Points

I got to thinking the other day about things that must be experienced as a drinker. The rites of passage as a boozehound, if you will. Here’s some of the items that crossed my mind and I believe made me the Sip Advisor I am today!

Drink from a Funnel – Friends of Mrs. Sip and myself had this funnel they called Skeletor (thanks to it being a skull), which was fun drinking out of and made for a good dare as part of drinking games.

Funnel Fail

Do a Keg Stand – As a kid, I was always standing on my head. It’s something I did well and I still do head stands on many objects I find. Combine that with chugging beer and you have the infamous keg stand. I think I did pretty well in my only attempt.

Use a Flask – I first bought a flask in my early 20’s and have since upgraded to a much nicer one, which I gave out to each of the groomsmen and ushers in my wedding. As I’ve written before, Fireball is my go-to flask filler and it has seen me through many wild nights.

Buy Booze as a Minor – While I didn’t frequently do this, it did happen from on a couple occasions and without incident. It truly shows your dedication to the sport.

Enjoy an Open Bar – I’ve been lucky enough to attend a few “open bar” functions in my time. Sometimes those bars haven’t been very lucky to have me as a guest!

Rent a Keg – This is something I have yet to do personally. Sure, I’ve been to the odd keg party, but I’ve never hosted one. We’ve often bandied about the idea of getting a keg for my annual beer pong tournament, but letting folks drink whatever they wish has always won out over the mass serving. I did have a mini keg that travelled through some of Europe with me, if that counts.

Tap the Keg

Drunken Karaoke – Is there any other kind of karaoke!?

Buy a Round for a Group – It’s always important to take your rightful turn in buying drinks for the group. Just make sure you get yours back in due time.

Invent a Cocktail – Clearly this is no longer an outstanding issue for the Sip Advisor…

Buy a Woman a Drink – Does Mrs. Sip count? If so, then check!

Play Drinking Games – Whether it’s Beer Pong, Quarters, King’s Cup, Flippy Cup, or anything else, drinking games are an essential element of boozing fun. I’d say go easy on rookies, but they should know what they’re getting themselves into.

battle-shots

Go on a Beer/Wine Tour – In the course of this project, I’ve detailed the wine and beer tours I’ve been privileged to go on. Next up comes some visits to hard alcohol distilleries.

Do a Shot Challenge – Whether it’s one you create on your own or something hosted by a bar, these are always a fun way to get smashed and stretch your drinking limits. Mrs. Sip and I took part in one notable challenge in Nice, France, where we (along with three others) had to down all of our 10 shots in successive order. I was the only one ballsy enough to include a couple Flatliners in my set.

Visit a Beer Hall – Drinking around the world has become a huge part of travel for Mrs. Sip and I, whether it’s trying news beers, wines, and spirits, or visiting booze landmarks across the globe. The beer hall we enjoyed in Munich, Germany was among these great memories.

Do a Pub Crawl – Man are these fun… I’ve done crawls in a lot of parts of the world (Key West, Florida; Preston, England; Honolulu, Hawaii; etc.) and they’re always full of laughs, adventure, and of course alcohol. Map out a route and hit the town!

Bar Crawl

Survive a Hangover – Does it count if I’ve helped someone through their hangover? Remember, the Sip Advisor is immune from rough morning afters.

Be Known by Name at a Bar – While I have yet to find a place “where everybody knows my name”, the Sip Alliance was recognized at The Yard House in Hawaii as “Oh, you guys are back!”

Ride a Mechanical Bull – This should only be done while blitzed because it limbers you up for the eventual fall. I achieved this at the PBR Rock Bar in Las Vegas this year (twice!) and it was totally worth the resulting crotch bruising.

Hit Multiple Fast Food Joints on the Same NightGuilty as charged. Just the other day, Mrs. Sip and I grabbed some Mickie D’s takeout and while passing by a Mega Bite pizza shop, I joked we should grab some slices for the road as well. Before I knew it, Mrs. Sip was in there snatching some before we were on our way again!

Drink #361: Hammered Farmer

Hammered Farmer Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Spiced Rum (I used New Orleans)
  • Top with Root Beer
  • Splash of Apple-Lime Juice
  • Garnish with a Lemon Wheel

What else do you think qualifies as a rite of passage for experienced drinkers? I wanted to include my feat of drinking a beer underwater, but Mrs. Sip insisted it was so rare and awesome that I was the only that would qualify. She’s always pumping my tires!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is one of those bizarre recipes where they recommend way too much booze to make a decent drink. They say you should use 4 oz of Spiced Rum. While that will achieve the desired effect of being a Hammered Farmer, the cocktail’s taste will be way too strong. I dumbed the ingredients down to make a tasty drink where you can taste each element being presented. You’ll still get blasted, it just won’t be from one serving!

November 7 – Angry Bird

App-ology

I think apps are pretty great, for the most part. They help us get through those boring dinners with “friends” and keep us distracted when taking awful public transportation. No need to app-ologize, here are some of my favourite programs:

Mixology

The Mixology app has been wildly important with the operation of this blog. It is full of thousands of drink recipes and I have often consulted the program for ideas for this site. Even before I became the Sip Advisor, I was using the app to impress friends and family with cocktail creations. One of its functions allows you to enter in all the ingredients you currently have stock and it will provide you with all the drink recipes you can achieve with your bar supplies.

mixology app

Angry Birds

I’ve discovered that the only birds I can tolerate are Angry Birds. Perhaps I appreciate that we are on the same level rage-wise. I like how the franchise is always coming up with new ideas (and dastardly birds) to keep fans engaged in sequels. While I’ve enjoyed each Angry Birds game I’ve played, I would have to say that my favourite versions have been the Rio movie partnership and the Space setting. I have yet to play Angry Birds: Star Wars.

TV Show Favs

As you all know, the Sip Advisor is a TV connoisseur. As such, there are a lot of shows and episodes for me to keep track of. Thankfully, this little program was designed and I’m able to check off each episode of a show I’ve watched, so as to not repeatedly view the same program over and over again. There’s even a scheduler, which will keep you informed of airings of your favourited series’, keeping you completely in the television loop.

Candy Crush Saga

I’m enjoying the puzzles in Candy Crush Saga, but I’m not a fan of being asked to pay to continue playing or bugging people of Facebook to get more levels and power-ups. I understand that the company needs to make money somehow, but it sucks to be locked out of a game for two days at a time, waiting for more adventures. While I’ve enjoyed other casual games more, I like the gameplay and art of this entry and would recommend it.

Candy Crush Saga

Super Stickman Golf

While I’m just getting into the sequel, I have to admit that I like the original entry in the series better thus far. I feel, at times, that the developers of the second game over-extended themselves and made levels more difficult than they needed to. There was simplicity to the first Super Stickman Golf that I will forever love. For those who have never heard of the title, you play wonderfully-imagined golf courses, such as urban cityscapes, deserts, frozen wonderlands, and castles.

Bad Piggies

While I enjoy Angry Birds better than its spinoff Bad Piggies, this game is pretty good too. In each level, you’re trying to build a contraption for the bad piggy (the antagonists of the Angry Birds series) to race to the finish line, collecting valuable stars along the way. Some of the content I’ve encountered so far in this game has been a little confusing, but I’m slowly wading my way through the issues and getting accustomed to this new style of play.

Temple Run 2

I had seen people obsessively playing Temple Run before I had a phone that was capable of downloading it. When I finally grabbed the sequel for myself, I quickly found out why. While you’re basically doing the same thing over and over again, every run is different with alternate maps, obstacles, routes, and coin placements. I have a couple little complaints like there being a lack of gems and other artifacts to find (they just don’t come up as often as you would think), but I still recommend people check out the title.

Drink #311: Angry Bird

Angry Bird Martini

  • 1 oz Scotch
  • 1 oz Peach Liqueur
  • Top with Apple-Lime Juice
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Garnish with Fuzzy Peaches

With a brand new phone that allows me to get all the apps my previous phone couldn’t handle, I’d love to know what all my little sippers out there are enjoying. Pass along your favourites and I’ll reward you with all my usual hard work!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
Without a doubt, a truly wonderful drink. Apple-Lime juice once again earns a 5-Sip rating, but the real treasure in this cocktail is how you can’t even tell there’s Scotch in the recipe, which would make some people cringe at the idea of even sampling the drink. The stars totally aligned for this wicked martini!

November 4 – Cajun Kiss

Tender Loving Care

Everybody has their own way of expressing love towards family and friends. I’m prone to copying cats and bashing my head against people to let them know of my affection! Here are some other examples of how to share your adoration:

Hongi

When Maori people greet each other (or even non-Maori folk), they lovingly touch their noses and foreheads together in a momentary embrace. If exchanged with an outsider, that person is no longer considered a visitor to the tribe. This action means that individual could be required to assist with tribal needs and that can include anything from tending to crops to even helping the tribe during times of war. Mrs. Sip and I have received this rite of passage and I will come to the defense of the Maori, if I am ever summoned.

porcupine-kisses

Butterfly Kiss

This is the act of fluttering your eyelashes together with your lover, much like a butterflies wings flap. I’ve been led to believe that this type of kiss can be quite romantic, as two lovers stare longingly into each other’s eyes. I’m not a fan of getting eyelashes into my own peepers, so I certainly don’t want to welcome other’s lashes in, either. That said, Mrs. Sip has some tempting, lovely eyes, so perhaps I’ll have to get over my own fears.

Eskimo Kiss

The Inuit are known to rub their nose against a loved one’s faces when greeting one another in an act known as a kunik. A kunik can be done against a family member or friend’s nose, cheek or forehead. It is a misconception to think the Inuit perform this act so they don’t freeze together while sharing a kiss. It is actually done because the people often only have their nose and eyes exposed when outdoors, where they may come across someone they have to greet.

French Kiss

Most people know about the French kiss (the act of locking tongues with your lover in an open mouth embrace), but they don’t know how the term came about. Look no further, as the Sip Advisor has all the answers. Apparently it comes from the French having a reputation for engaging in more sexually adventurous practices and that includes the act of “the lover’s kiss”. You have to imagine that someone would have discovered this kissing variance eventually, though.

hamster-kiss

Spiderman Kiss

The smooch made famous by Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst (or at least their stunt/body doubles). Every time I’ve put myself upside down (and trust me, it happens much more often than Mrs. Sip would ever like) I don’t receive any sugar in response. I thought women got all hot and bothered by that scene in Spiderman. Why do I get such disdain when I’m hanging upside down from ziplines, diving boards, and other inanimate objects?

Hickey/Vampire Kiss

Halloween just passed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t break someone’s skin every now and again with a perfectly planted artery attack! When Mrs. Sip and I were just young teenagers in love (or was it lust), we didn’t do the hickey thing much. Anytime it did happen, we were teased so much by our family and friends that we decided to abandon the neck kissing arts. Nowadays, I think Mrs. Sip sometimes tries to get me marked just to embarrass me… that no-good, sexy she-devil!

Drink #308: Cajun Kiss (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Cajun Kiss Martini

  • 1 oz Cajun Spiced Rum
  • 0.5 oz Midori
  • 0.5 oz Gin
  • Top with Apple-Lime Juice
  • Garnish with Lime Wheel

Have I missed your favourite style of kissing? Just remember to keep it clean. You never know how many fucking kids read this site!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This was a very good drink, which we created while experimenting with our new Cajun Spiced Rum. I largely created the recipe, but Mrs. Sip suggested the addition of the Gin and it was the touch that completed the cocktail. The Apple-Lime Juice was its usual spectacular contributor and has really become a go-to mixer for me.

September 6 – Wonderful Night

Time of Your Life

“Mr. Sip Advisor, this is your life!”… that’s how the show detailing some of my greatest triumphs would start. Every day is amazing for me, but some reach a level of infamy that leave it permanently burned into my brain. Good thing, too, cause with all the alcohol… wait, what were we talking about? You may quickly notice a trend in that my relationship with Mrs. Sip factors into a lot of these tales, but that shouldn’t be a surprise to any of you little sippers. Here are a few of the greatest days of my life:

Wedding Day – August 25, 2012

Well, this one was an obvious choice. I’m not one to hog attention or anything like that, but on your wedding day, everyone is there for YOU. Thankfully, the bride gets more attention than the groom (which allows the groom to more easily sneak out and enjoy some beers in the parking lot with his groomsmen). Our wedding was amazing, complete with wonderful weather, touching speeches, amazing food, a wonderful candy buffet, a rocking live band (Vancouver’s Bobcats), and fantastic drinks to boot. You plan so diligently for one day and then it’s gone. Happily, everything went according to plan and I wouldn’t change a thing.

wedding-cost

Engagement – December 25, 2010

Backtracking a little, as we approached Christmas Day 2010, Mrs. Sip had no clue what was about to happen to her life. Perhaps if she did know, we wouldn’t have both got sick and spent Christmas Eve bundled up and passing out to Neo-Citron servings, all while watching the god-awful Babes in Toyland. It was our first Christmas living together and I wanted to make it especially memorable. I’d had the ring since September and was able to keep the whole thing a secret from everyone except my future father-in-law. Christmas Day finally arrived and I popped the question. Thankfully, Mrs. Sip didn’t hesitate in saying yes. That day, we were able to announce to both our families that we were now engaged… well, I had to do all that work, as Mrs. Sip completely lost her voice in all the excitement!

Christopher Titus Show – April 12, 2013

Taking a brief break from relationship milestones, we have this wonderful day in Sip history, which I have this site to thank for the entire experience, as I checked Titus’ tour schedule while researching an article and discovered he would be in Tacoma, WA at the Tacoma Comedy Club. Mrs. Sip, always up for a wild time, instantly said yes to going and we booked our tickets. Dinner at Red Lobster and my first BevMo visit were precursors to a fantastic night of comedy. Titus did over an hour of work, followed by a half-hour long encore, and even met with audience members afterwards. Following the show, still buzzing from what a great night it had been (and the great drinks that the Club makes), Mrs. Sip and I cracked a bottle of wine at 2:30 am. I was up until 4am thinking about everything good in life before finishing the last drops and finally getting some rest.

First Bungee Jump – December 2, 2008

Any day that starts with McDonald’s is a good one in my books, but all the things that followed made it truly amazing! After a lunch that included a treasure childhood treat in shaker fries, Mrs. Sip and I made our way to the Taupo Bungy location. I was a little nervous the entire walk there, but there was no way I was going to back out. I’d wanted to do this for years. After signing away my life, I was strapped into the jumping gear and led out onto a platform high above the water below. Looking down, I couldn’t believe I was about to leap into thin air and before I knew it, I was hurdling through the sky. All that excitement was followed by a trip to a hot spring with beers in hand, as we drank the night away!

Asking Mrs. Sip Out – March 22, 2002

Of course, anytime in Disneyland – the happiest place on earth, you know – is special, but the energy level is heightened even more when you’re pursuing a lovely girl, with the hopes of busting out of your shy shell and asking her out on a date. Cousin Sip was playing matchmaker and things were going well in the couple evenings we were able to all hang out together. I had long thought about the perfect way of completing my task, but I never figured things would come together as perfectly as they did.There we stood, in front of the famous Cinderella Castle, the nightly firework show illuminating the sky and I turned to her and popped the question. She said yes… how could she not at least give me a chance with this scenario playing out!? The asking was done. Now I just needed to win her heart.

Asking Out

First Date with Mrs. Sip – March 30, 2002

One week after asking the gorgeous and talented future Mrs. Sip out, we went on our first true date. We had had a couple really good phone conversations in the days leading up to our rendezvous and I think we were both hoping it would go as well as our non-face-to-face meetings. The night started with me picking Mrs. Sip up and heading to the local theatre where we watched Panic Room. Following that, it was time to satiate the ol’ sweet tooth (and I don’t mean on Mrs. Sip), so we were off to find dessert. We shared a hot fudge brownie and talked until they closed the restaurant. I knew things were going well when she agreed to come back to my place to continue talking. I finally dropped her off at home around 2am with plans to reconvene in a couple days… she was mine!

Drink #249: Wonderful Night

Wonderful Night Drink

  • 0.3 oz Peppermint Schnapps
  • 0.3 oz Gin
  • 0.3 oz Vodka
  • 0.3 oz Galliano
  • 0.3 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Apple-Lime Juice
  • Garnish with an Apple Pick and Lime Wheel

I think everyone should do an exercise like this to truly help you feel special. It’s been said so many times that it starts to lose meaning, but we really need to embrace each day we have and make the best of our lives. I like to think, thanks to the evidence above, that I’ve done exactly that!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
Perhaps this cocktail benefits from low expectations, thus resulting in its high score, but it is delicious. Mrs. Sip didn’t agree with my assessment, but that’s why she’s only Mrs. Sip and not the Sip Advisor. The Peppermint Schnapps is actually really nice with all the other spirits playing their own role. Definitely give this one a whirl!

March 26 – The Crush

Sir Mix-A-Lot

I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity mixer and that is why I love playing with ingredients that don’t often get placed into cocktail recipes. Here are some of my favourites to work with and some I have yet to try, but am itching to crack open!:

Root Beer

My first favourite pop when I was a wee lad, I still enjoy root beer and now I can take that love to a whole ‘nutha level with my cocktail mixing. Root beer adds a different flavour to recipes, compared to other dark pops. The hint of vanilla can be a very nice touch and add a twist to any number of drinks. Barq’s, A&W, Mug… it don’t matter which one you’re using. They’re all good around these parts; just make sure to practice safe mixing.

Root Beer

Apple-Lime Juice

This has got to be one of my favourite grocery store finds in recent years. Every single drink I make with this juice turns out amazing. This all coming from a guy who used to be completely friends-off with apple juice after medicine I was once given to knock me out looked like apple juice, smelled like apple juice, but brother, it wasn’t apple juice. That reminds me, I need to grab another carton of this elixir!

Cream Soda

Imagine my surprise when I bought a can of Fanta cream soda recently and it came out clear. Thinking that my vision had finally quit on me after years of television and computer screens (plus the aforementioned drinking problem), I checked with Mrs. Sip to see if this was actually the case. I had expected the usual pink colour that accompanies cream soda, but this new clear look can be a good thing. It means that there is an option if you want the flavour, but not the colour. So, be careful if you want to make a pink-coloured drink to get cream soda that is actually dyed this hue.

My boys Ernie and Bert enjoy a cream soda... this could have been a telling sign, if you catch my drift...

My boys Ernie and Bert enjoy a cream soda… this could have been a telling sign, if you catch my drift…

Orange Crush

I’m shocked that orange-flavoured sodas don’t get used in more drinks. By comparison, one bartending website has 86 recipes for orange soda (and very few that actually interested this Sip Advisor), while there are a whopping 2,360 concoctions featuring orange juice. Today’s drink is an original recipe, which I hope you’ll all enjoy… I know I did.

Watermelon Juice

I have a can of Arizona watermelon juice that I’m just dying to experiment with. I love watermelon and cry on a daily basis when it’s out of season as I go through watermelon withdrawal. Sure you can still get your hands on the juicy fruit (not the gum), but you’ll probably pay an arm and a leg for it and good luck making drinks hopping around the bar with one hand to hold the shaker. What will I make with this juice… stay tuned to find out!

Drink #85: The Crush (An Original Sip Advisor Recipe)

Crush Cocktail

  • 1.5 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
  • 0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Top with Orange Crush (or other Orange Soda)
  • Garnish with Orange Slice

Perhaps we should hold a reader vote to find out which rare mixer I use next… I welcome your comments, although I’ll likely just go ahead and pick a winner on my own volition!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Using Orange Crush for cocktails has rekindled my love for this type of soda. Here, it tasted well with the Peach Schnapps and Spiced Whiskey and I’m glad I thought of combining the three ingredients. Definitely one for fans of the hue.

March 18 – Lush

Drunk-a-lunks 

A couple months ago, we shared a few laughs looking at some alcohol lightweights. Today, we look at their opposites, the folks who can really throw the drink back and give a new meaning to the term booze hound. Ah, my idols!

Roger Smith – American Dad

There are very few scenes of American Dad where Roger isn’t drunk, drinking or talking about getting soused. He’s been known to spend a majority of the Christmas season out of his gourd on eggnog and has even gone into the moonshine business, showing his passion for sweet lady liqour and all that she can provide mankind.

Intoxi-quoted: “Pardon me, sir. I’m what you might call an advanced drinker, and I’ve been having a Dickens of a time concocting an eggnog that provides the certain… heady tingle that I require.”

Roger Drunk

Homer Simpson & Barney Gumble – The Simpsons

While both men have struggled with their alcohol needs over the series’ many years, Barney seems to have finally strapped himself onto the sober wagon but I don’t think Homer ever will… he’s just too funny when he’s blitzed. Ironically, Homer is the one who gave Barney his first beer… the night before Barney’s SAT exam that he was set to ace.

Intoxi-quoted: Homer: “Wow, Barney. You brought a whole beer keg.” Barney: “Yeah… where do I fill it up?”

Cheers Gang – Cheers

While you don’t often see the guys from Cheers getting drunk per se, given the number of hours they spend at the bar each day, you’d have to assume that they’re often going home substantially liquored up. Heck, it’s the only way Norm Peterson will go home to his never-seen wife, Vera.

Intoxi-quoted: Woody Boyd: “Hey Mr. Peterson. Jack Frost nipping at your nose?” Norm Peterson: “Yeah. Now let’s get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.”

Willie – Bad Santa

Willie is a stinking drunk and he knows it. He has no interest in turning his life around and wants nothing more than his next big score (usually from robbing whichever department store he’s worked at during the Christmas season) before moving onto the next target. If I was ever a mall Santa, you can bet I’d show up to work looking as disheveled as this naughty Claus.

Intoxi-quoted: Sue: “I’ve always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn’t notice. It’s like some deep-seeded childhood thing.” Willie: “So is my thing for tits.”

Bad Santa Drunk

Bender Rodriguez – Futurama

Bender is not really an alcoholic, but he needs to drink alcohol to keep his mechanics running… so, he drinks a LOT! He even fermented his own brew inside of himself, treating the mix as if it were his own unborn child. Now that’s true love and devotion.

Intoxi-quoted: “I’m gonna drink ’til I reboot!”

Lucille Bluth – Arrested Development

The matriarch of the Bluth clan, Lucille lives a life of luxury (despite the fact she can no longer afford it) and what better to do than get drunk off your ass on a daily basis. Her kids have grown up – although Buster, in his late 30’s, has yet to leave home – and she doesn’t have to (or want to) work, so the only way to pass the time is with a delicious cocktail.

Intoxi-quoted: Lucille Bluth: “Get me a vodka rocks.” Michael: “Mom, it’s breakfast.” Lucille: “And a piece of toast.”

Peter Griffin – Family Guy

When Peter and the guys hit the Drunken Clam, someone, if not all of them, are bound to go home plastered. Peter’s drinking has got him into a lot of trouble over time, including multiple arrests, issues with his wife, near-death experiences and the killing of nearly every brain cell he ever had… and he didn’t start off with many to begin with.

Intoxi-quoted: “C’mon, let’s go drink ’til we can’t feel feelings anymore.”

Drink #77: Lush

Lush Cocktail

  • 1 oz Vodka
  • 0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
  • 0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Top with Apple-Lime Juice
  • Garnish with Lime Wedge and Apple Wedge

Mrs. Sip often calls me a drunk-a-lunk when I’m hitting the bottle with awesome passion and force. So, here are some departing words from yours truly: “When you wake up after a hard night of drinking and you’re worried about your liquor supply, just remember that even potatoes can be turned into vodka!”

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I thoroughly enjoyed this cocktail. From the usually solid Melon Liqueur to the delicious Apple-Lime Juice, I was very happy that a recipe I thought would be awesome actually turned out that way. It also looked great, completing the package.