February 8 – Limestone Breeze

Cancelled

Cancelled

Yesterday we looked at some wonderful TV shows that were never given a fair chance to find an audience. Today, we discuss shows that were given more lives than they were ever entitled to and probably should have never seen the light of day. Enjoy!

Jenny

Apparently only “reality-based” shows with sexy people worked in the late 1990’s. This show starred Jenny McCarthy as a convenience store clerk who inherits a large fortune from the father she never knew, moves into his Hollywood mansion and pursues a career as a screen star. If only it was that easy for all us store clerks. Only 10 of the 17 episodes produced ever aired and you have to assume that there’s some serious TV gold on those last episodes. Spoiler alert: viewers would eventually find out that Jenny’s father wasn’t dead, only missing.

Stacked

Pamela Anderson as a breasty bookstore employee (as close to a librarian as you can get) seems like it should have pulled in the young male demographic, at the very least… providing they’ve received the proper hepatitis vaccinations. Christopher Lloyd was even a cast member. Maybe if the show had been about time travel and ol’ Doc Brown had travelled to 2005 to check out blonde bimbos, the program might have caught on.

Stacked

No Ordinary Family

Because who doesn’t like to see a family fighting crime together. Sadly Julie Benz left her role on Dexter to be part of this series, which lasted a mere 20 episodes. The super powers they doled out were a little ridiculous in this show. Dad gets super strength, mom gets super speed, daughter gets telepathy and son gets… intelligence!? That’s it? Seriously? And here I thought getting stuck with telepathy sucked.

Wheel of Fortune

How many times must we see that wheel spin and some moron guess a letter of the alphabet? Vanna White gets paid to do something any computer could do electronically nowadays. Used to be she was actually turning letters over. Now she just touches them. Seems like a job even I could do, with my fourth grade level of reading. I’d like to waste some of my winnings and buy a vowel, Pat… that cool with you? At least it provided us with this classic South Park moment [below]…

Emeril

I can just see how this pitch went to the studio: Producer – Okay, we want to take a chef, with no acting skills whatsoever and only a small following based on his catchphrase (BAM!) and give him his own half-hour comedy. Network Executive – “Fantastic idea, but I have one little tweak, let’s pay him tons of money for 11 episodes of work”. This series was such a disaster that it doesn’t even have a Wikipedia entry. I have to admit though, I did like Emeril as Marlon the Gator from Disney’s The Princess and the Frog!

Drink #39: Limestone Breeze

Limestone Breeze Drink Recipe

  • 1.25 oz Vodka
  • 0.75 oz Amaretto
  • Top with Apple-Lime Juice
  • Dash of Lime Juice
  • Garnish with lime wedge

In doing some research for this post I saw that one person’s list of shows that should have been cancelled quickly included Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its spinoff Angel. Had to chuckle as these are two of Mrs. Sips favourite all-time programs. (See, hon, I’m not the only one who thinks this!)

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
What a fantastic drink! I went out on a limb and used my Apple-Lime Juice as the mixer and what a fantastic choice it was. This is an obvious 5-star drink and I urge all of Sip Nation to put together the ingredients needed to pull this off on your own. You will not be disappointed.

January 17 – Sea Breeze

I’m Hot for Teacher (It’s Me!)

hot-teacher

Today is all about education at The Sip Advisor. At least this isn’t a science course and I’m not teaching you about real sea breezes. No, where we’re going, you don’t need any stinkin’ notepads. We’re learning through drinking. So, take off your hats and glasses, because this here’s the wildest ride in the wilderness! (*Gold star if you know where the reference comes from…)

The fraternal twin of the Bay Breeze gets its chance to shine today. What’s funny about the Sea Breeze is how many times the recipe has changed over the years. It’s as if makers of the drink were never fully satisfied with the ingredients… that or they got too drunk and forgot how to make it properly, stumbling upon better recipes accidentally. It began as a gin and grenadine mix during prohibition times, which would later include apricot brandy and lemon juice. Then it consisted of vodka, dry vermouth, Galliano and blue Curacao in the 1930’s (so yes, Sea Breezes used to have blue in it like… well, the sea!) . When cranberry juice began to be a popular mixer with alcohol, the Sea Breeze saw another adjustment to its formula (gone went the blue so that the closest ingredient referencing the sea today is if you use Ocean Spray cranberry juice).

Sea Breeze also has a family, known as the Cape Codder drinks. Descendant from papa Codder are sisters the Greyhound and the Salty Dog, as well as broski, the Bay Breeze. All these drinks saw a dip in popularity during the 1960’s as the U.S. Department of Health announced that cranberry crops were contaminated with toxic herbicides (who dropped the ball on that one?), before making a resurgence in the 1970’s, likely because of disco music (okay, I don’t know that last part for a fact, but you have to blame something and it might as well be disco. What’s disco going to do? Come after me? Get all up in my face and challenge me… to a dance off… which I would lose… dammit!)

Many popular actors and actresses have ordered the Sea Breeze on TV and in movies. This list includes Meg Ryan (French Kiss), David Spade (Just Shoot Me!), Woody Harrelson (The Walker) and perhaps neatest of all, especially for all the geeks out there who were into the whole Buffy/Angel series (which I may know all about having been forced to watch both entire series – that’s 12 seasons of awful – by a girl I once dated… and still married, despite the torture), the collectible figure of Lorne from Angel comes with his very own Sea Breeze accessory, as it was the character’s drink of choice.

Lorne figure

Now let’s all reenact the “Oh Captain, my Captain” scene from Dead Poets Society… no, you don’t want to do that for me… alright, but Robin Williams – the original Furby – is going to hold this over my head for years to come.

Drink #17: Sea Breeze

Sea Breeze Drink

  • 1.5 oz Vodka
  • Top with half cranberry juice and half grapefruit juice
  • Garnish with lime wedge

Please turn in your pencils, as time is up on the exam. Your final grades will be in at the end of the week and have a great summer. It may only be January, but it’s nice to think ahead to those warmer months, those colder drinks and the wonderful smell of barbecued meat!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The Sea Breeze fared just as well as its sibling the Bay Breeze in that it was a decent drink, but nothing to take your breath away. They are both nice summer drinks and maybe I made the mistake of reviewing them in January.