What Not to Wear
The Sip Advisor would never call himself a fashionista, but I’ve seen a lot of crazy things in my time and have even worn some of them, myself. Here are some of the best and worst attire and accessory fads that the Sip Advisor can hang his head in shame for having adorned at one time or another… okay, it was just yesterday, but who’s counting!?
#5: No Fear T-Shirts
I don’t feel so bad about these inspirational shirts, which were especially big among anyone who played youth sports. Mrs. Sip likes to tell the tale of wearing baggy No Fear tops in grade school, long before she became an internationally adored mama cita! No Fear even released an energy drink at one point, but sadly, the company filed for bankruptcy in 2011. For playing an important role in the lives of many of the Sip Advisor’s peers, we tip our hat and recite the many positive apparel mottos.
#4: Starter Jackets
Sure, you could wear a normal jacket, perhaps even supporting your favourite local sports team, but if it wasn’t made by Starter, you just weren’t rocking the coolest athletic fashion of the time. There was even a ton of robberies of the jackets as their status symbol prominence rose. These jackets were puffy, thanks to the pouch at the front and made wearers look overly bulky. They would be perfect for smuggling flasks and other booze nowadays, so perhaps the company was on to something!
#3: Tear-Away Pants
The problem with Tear-Away pants (which buttoned up on the sides of the legs) is that people kept trying to rip them off each other, necessitating wearing shorts underneath, which kind of defeated the whole purpose. Girls stopped wearing them entirely, for fear of being exposed by some testosterone raging teen. You can still see tear-away pants, usually being rocked by male strippers, who have very little time to get their junk out in the open before lonely women can ravage them.
#2: Belly Bags/Fanny Packs
These pouches allowed users to tuck away (seriously, why were we so obsessed with attire that allowed having places to put our possessions in, during the 90’s?) an array of items, including wallets, sunglasses, medications, etc. They were like unisex purses and really came in handy while travelling. Problem was, they gave you an artificial gut, which didn’t look so attractive. Hilariously, the packs were called Bum Bags in the U.K., because the term fanny opens up a whole new can of worms.
#1: Neon Clothing
Oh man, there are some classic photos of the Sip Advisor and Broski Sip wearing bright neon wares… I’m sure everyone who lived through the early 90’s has at least one picture where they’re decked out in the most hideous of colours. Why were we so into such a horrible palate of hues? Anyone from that time who has vision problems today should be blaming neon clothes and not the popularity of computers. Neon colours should be strictly confined to cocktail and shot recipes… speaking of which!
Super Saturday Shot Day: Neon Ghost
- Rim glass with Sprinkles
- 1 oz Pisang Ambon
- 0.5 oz Vodka
I’d like to think of my style as ‘lazy classy,’ but Mrs. Sip might not agree. Which clothing fads do you regret sporting? The Sip Advisor is always open for some reminiscing, so drop me a line anytime!
Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Thanks to using Stoli Salted Karamel Vodka, this turned into a banana flambe flavoured drink, with notes of caramel at the end of the banana shooter. All those neon colours had me feeling nostalgic and the whole experience was very enjoyable.