June 29 – Seven Deadly Sins

Sin-tillating

The Seven Deadly Sins have always fascinated me. I have one problem with them though. Looking back, I know I’ve broken each and every one of them and I’m still kicking ass. Here’s how I’ve broken all the rules (and lived to tell about it)!

Seven Deadly Sins

Lust

Have you seen Mrs. Sip? How could you NOT lust over this gorgeous creature? Perhaps I haven’t been busted for this sin because my advances are often rebuffed. It kind of makes sense. She can’t just give it away for free… or so I’ve been told. Similarly, sometimes I pass by a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself. Unlike Narcissus, I’m able to pull myself away from this godly image for happy hours!

Greed

If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d have more time to be greedy. That said, I do find great pleasure in my possessions, notably my prized muddler, cocktail shaker and jigger. Some of my favoruite characters are the type who have everything and would be hard to buy gifts for, including Scrooge McDuck, Iron Man, and the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

Envy

I get jealous every time I walk into a bar and see their liquor collection. While my cabinet is nothing short of amazing, I would love to have all the different flavours at my disposal that most lounges have. I’ll get there one day, but it seems every time I add a couple bottles, I run out of other spirits. It’s a constant vicious circle which I plan to eventually conquer.

Seven Sins

Gluttony

I am prone to the occasional feast, usually centered on chips and cookies as main courses! Then, in reverse order, we follow up with starters of pulled pork, hot dogs, burgers, and a menagerie of side dishes. Dessert still finishes the meal and is comprised of a complete ice cream sundae bar, with a million toppings, like crushed chocolate bars, cookie bits, syrups and, of course, sprinkles!

Sloth

Let’s look at my daily schedule: wake up, watch TV, drink, take a nap, drink some more, order food to be delivered, watch more TV, go to bed. Yup, seems like I can check off this sin, as well. It gets a little sad when you end up making an indentation in your favourite couch spot. This is as close to marking your territory as a human should get though, so we should all let it slide.

sloth

Wrath

Hell hath no fury like the Sip Advisor scorned… in general, I’m like the Ned Flanders of the liquor world, letting folks walk all over me. But just like when ol’ Neddy finally hit his breaking point and snapped in epic proportions, I’ve been known to spontaneously combust and when that occurs, look out. Richter scale readings have been registered when I boil over and go boom.

Pride

I can be a very boastful person… you have to be when you’re a blog entrepreneur. I have no problem annoying Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets with my posts and advertising this wonderful site that has brought so much pleasure to me and perhaps even to one or two others. If you have a problem with this, I’d like to see you stop me!

Drink #180: Seven Deadly Sins

Seven Deadly Sins Shooter

  • 0.25 oz Southern Comfort
  • 0.25 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
  • 0.25 oz Sambuca
  • 0.25 oz Blue Curacao
  • 0.25 oz Kahlua
  • 0.25 oz Grenadine

As it says in my mixology app, the seventh sin is drinking the shot… well, consider that done!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Layer the ingredients in order from the bottom to the top. I thought this shot tasted really good, with a slight burn, but nothing too extreme. The layering of spirits worked out reasonably well, although some of the colours blended together, like the Kahlua and Blue Curacao. You can’t win ’em all!

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January 22 – Envy

The Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy…  I’m not too familiar with the feeling myself, but I assume it’s that feeling that other guys get when they see me free lifting my 200 pound weights in the gym, living my rock n’ roll gangsta lifestyle, or busting my sweet gangnam-style moves on the dance floor. 99% of the above may almost certainly be a lie, but since it’s Tequila Week here at The Sip Advisor headquarters, I know all you loyal readers are a bit jealous. To even it up, here’s a small selection of those who earn my envy:

Cookie Monster

Cookie Monster (speaking of monsters)

Imagine being able to eat whatever you want – cookies, plates, even the moon – and not gain a single pound. Seriously, Cookie Monster has been around since 1969 and despite eating whatever he wants, whenever he wants, he still looks the same, even though what he’s stuffed back would have other beings suffering the onset of diabetes or an incredibly gruesome and painful death or something. He may not lose any weight, but maintaining the body status quo would be classified a win for me. I love me some cookies (and chippies for that matter), so being able to eat so indiscernibly (and look cool in so much blue) definitely tops my list of enviable qualities.

Wolverine

Two words: adamantium skeleton. Sure the guy can’t remember who the hell he is or what his past life was, but he’s indestructible. Hell, I often can’t remember who I am or parts of my past life, thanks in large part to the subject matter of this blog. My mind is spinning with the stupid stuff I could get up to if I was immortal. Bungee jumping sans bungee cord, demolition derbies onboard a motorcycle, mixed martial arts fights with dinosaurs… the possibilities are endless, when your mind is as deteriorated as mine.

Garfield

The fat orange cat is allowed to be as surly as he wants and we love him for it. His enviable attitude is something that doesn’t work so well with my wife, however. While I’m not really down with the whole lasagna obsession thing, I can totally get behind the blankie, teddy bear (Pooky), fuzzy slippers and pajamas. And just like Garfield, I would only be nice twice a year, on my own Halloween and Christmas specials. I mean, how could you not be nice at Halloween and Christmas with all the candy, candy, candy and presents, presents, presents!?

Wile E Coyote

Wile E. Coyote

One has to admire Mr. Coyote’s passion and drive in his dogged pursuit of the Roadrunner. If I possessed the same ambition, I’d be able to get this 365-day challenge done in a month (never mind the fact that I may implode like said Coyote in the attempt to do so). I would also love to have the resources Wile E. has at his disposal. His ACME account must be unlimited and if they had an alcohol department, I would be all over that. The one drawback is his constant injuries. One can only fall off a cliff so many times before it would probably get tiresome. My hat is off to you buddy, keep chasing that rainbow and get yourself some sweet, sweet Roadrunner meat!

Inspector Gadget

He may be a bumbling idiot (sounds a little too similar to MY personality profile!), but he’s a respected and accomplished detective. Plus, he gets to travel the world, chasing criminals and use an array of high-tech – well, mostly low-tech umbrellas and such – gadgets (wait!? Is that why he’s called Inspector Gadget? Another of life’s mysteries solved). Perhaps I’d be the one to finally catch Dr. Claw. After all, in my younger days, I was very successful in my hunt for Carmen Sandiego and her band of henchmen. Go-go-gadget 12 inches, am I right, ladies?

Richie Rich

Simply put, the kid had a fully-staffed McDonald’s right inside his own house. We don’t even need to get into the whole gazillionaire, set-for-life kid, B.S. Nope, just McDonald’s… in your house… they would probably even do room service.  I would hold these off-the-chain shindigs with the guys from Epic Meal Time and we’d get completely destroyed on Chicken McNuggets and milkshakes. It would be, well, epic.

So, doing a final tally, if I put all my traits together, like a wonderfully-blended cocktail, I would be invincible; surly, but lovable; driven, with uncapped resources; with my own personal McDonald’s restaurant where I could eat at every day and never gain weight… and let’s not forget about the 12-incher!

Drink #22: Envy

Envy Martini

  • 1.5 oz Tequila (I used Sauza Gold)
  • 1 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Pineapple Juice
  • Garnish with Pineapple Wedge and Maraschino Cherry

Who (aside from super me) are you jealous of? Drop me a line and let me know. Perhaps your list will be better… I doubt it though, because I’m pretty awesome! Maybe there will be a list on narcissism in the future!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I like how this drink came together visually with the Blue Curacao half resting at the bottom of the martini glass and the rest combining with the Pineapple Juice to make a greenish hue, perfect for the Envy moniker. The taste wasn’t half bad either.