January 11 – The Joker

Bad to the Bone

I’ve always had a fascination with villains and what drives them to become evil? Generally, they’re just so much more interesting than heroes. It’s hard to narrow a list down of the greatest super villains, but I’m the man drunk enough to try. Just a heads up before we start the list, that I’m not a comic book guy by any means, so a character’s villainy will be judged by their more mainstream examples of mischief!

#5: Shredder

Just think of the things the Shredder could have accomplished if he wasn’t so preoccupied by those meddling Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles were like the mutant version of the Scooby Doo Gang, constantly interfering with Shredder’s scheming. While the Turtles may battle other foes, the Shredder (aka Oroku Saki) was a constant presence on their mind, frequently causing havoc across New York City. Shredder was bad enough… do we even need to bring up the actions of the Super Shredder!?

Shredder

#4: Two-Face

You have to be pretty deranged to base all of your decisions on the flip of a coin. This is why NFL referees are so reviled! Two-Face (aka Harvey Dent) went from young, handsome, successful, and respected to a beast of a creature that is deformed and feared. He now hates the civil order he once enforced and is hell bent on destroying the Gotham City he previously protected. Harvey Dent still resides somewhere in Two-Face’s psyche, making for an interesting duality between good and evil, all fought within one man.

#3: Kingpin

It seemed like the Kingpin was always front and center, stirring the pot, when trouble was brewing. One of the best things about the crime boss is that he very rarely got his own hands dirty. Kingpin preferred to employ a series of henchman to do his bidding, while maintaining the public image of a successful businessman. That’s not to say that Wilson Fisk, as he’s known to most of the world, can’t handle his own wars. He’s portrayed as being incredibly strong, while battling the likes of Spider-Man, Daredevil, and the Punisher.

Kingpin

#2: Magneto

While he has sometimes crossed the line into good guy territory, Magneto’s end goal of a brotherhood of mutants that is no longer held back by humans (humans which Magneto would rather see eradicated from the world) drives him to perform all his misdeeds. His on-again, off-again friendship with Professor Charles Xavier is perhaps the only thing that keeps humanity alive within Magneto’s soul. It’s not surprising the mutant has suffered some psychological damage after surviving the Holocaust during World War II.

#1: Joker

Given Batman’s rogue gallery, it takes a pretty disturbed individual to take the mantle of the caped crusader’s arch nemesis. Pair him with the equally insane Harley Quinn and you have quite the deranged tandem. The Joker’s troubling reign of terror has spanned over 70 years. Whether portrayed by Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, or even Mark Hamill (that’s right, Luke Skywalker voiced the evil jester in the Animated Series), the Joker is equal parts fascinating and haunting… just the way we like him.

Super Saturday Shot Day: The Joker

The Joker Shooter

  • Rim glass with Sprinkles
  • 0.75 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire)
  • 0.75 oz Whiskey
  • Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

Do you agree with the list? Clearly, my selections will ruffle the feathers of some super geek out there. I welcome the chirps. Bring it on! And by the way, the results of my ‘Which Super Villain Are You?’ (which I’ve linked at the top of this post) say that I’m Venom because strength, disguise and adrenaline are my greatest weapons!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While I’m not sure if this recipe is actually meant to salute the infamous Joker, I’ve designed elements of it to better represent the Clown Prince of Crime. The Sprinkles, of course, represent all the wild colours he dons, as well as give a sense of the festive nature he would provide if he was a normal entertainer and not a psychotic villain. The Maraschino Cherry is the plush clown nose most entertainers adorn themselves with. As for the shooter, it wasn’t bad. I blended Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey with Bombay Sapphire East Gin. The Gin came in with its juniper taste at the end of the shot and while strong, was kind of tasty.

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August 21 – Village Idiot

Dumb and Dumber

Yesterday we had a look at some of the stupid things I’ve done over my many awesome years. Did you really think that was it, though? There are so many other wild tales of great idiocy in my archives. Here are a few more select stories!

One More for the Road

Well before I became the seasoned drinker you see before you today, I was still learning the ropes of the liquor game and picking up experience points where I could. At a party very early in my drinkdom, shortly after high school graduation, I was having a great time catching up with folks I hadn’t seen since our days of set school schedules and also meeting some newbies to the Sip Advisor’s world.

Before I knew it, I was 10 beers deep. With the party still in full swing, I was sad to discover that my stock had been completely depleted. I was now regretting giving out the couple brews I had gifted to others for past offerings bestowed upon me. For shame, Sip Advisor… but it gets worse. In my bag of goodies was one Mike’s Hard Lemonade – the popular drink of my graduation summer. Why I brought it with me, I don’t know. Perhaps the devil slipped it in my bag for its own amusement.

Mikes Lemonade

Without much thought, I cracked the can open, took a big swig, and immediately felt it not sitting very well. Being young and dumb as I was, I finished the beverage and decided to make my way home. What was usually only a ten minute walk home took me nearly double, as I was forced to stop frequently to get sick on some poor stranger’s lawn. I eventually made it home to get sick once more in my room, before passing out. Lesson learned, my little sippers: beer before liquor, never been sicker… liquor before beer, you’re in the clear!

Wax-on, Wax-off

For years following Mrs. Sip and I becoming an item, I had complained about not liking my chest hair and wanting to have it removed. Mrs. Sip must have finally hit her breaking point because one night, she showed up at my place with a waxing kit and said the time had finally come to put up or shut up. So, there we stood, in the bathroom, Mrs. Sip warming and dripping hot wax over my body, as Broski Sip snickered and filmed the incident for prosperity purposes (or at least that’s what they told me!).

Finally, it was time. RIP! Mrs. Sip pulled away the first patch and left in its place was a bald patch of skin. I was surprised that the whole process didn’t really hurt that much. So, we continued and in no time we were finished and I had a nice smooth chest. End of story, right!? Not so fast. Within minutes my chest was covered in all these tiny red little bumps that never really went away until the hair started growing back. A man just can’t catch a break!

chest waxing

Cruise Ship Quarantine

Back in early May, I wrote an article about how to enjoy an open bar. Let’s just say I wrote that post a little too well. You see, my aunt was getting married aboard a cruise ship and the wedding package featured a one-hour open bar with little appies and such. With only an hour to drink like kings, a game plan was needed and I captained that ship straight into the rocky cliffs.

Video and photo evidence from the event shows me with two drinks in hand for nearly every appearance. We also lined up at least 10 rounds of shots to go with the double fisting of doubled drinks. I can throw down pretty good in the game we call alcohol, but my biggest mistake that day was building all that booze on top of nothing. I hadn’t eaten that morning (not a huge surprise, as I’m not really a breakfast guy) and still hadn’t touched anything edible by the time the wedding ceremony was over around 2pm.

I guess it could have been worse!

I guess it could have been worse!

Largely on my advice (and coercion) three of us ended up getting quarantined, while a couple others were incapacitated for much of the trip. Worst of all, we were banished to our rooms because those of us who got sick did so in front of ship staff and we were forced to miss much of the post-wedding celebration. Let’s just sum up by saying that it was far from my finest moment, but I can still provide a lesson of sort to all you little sippers to keep yourself on track and only lose your cookies in the privacy of your stateroom!

Drink #233: Village Idiot

Village Idiot Martini

  • 1 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire)
  • 1 oz Vodka
  • Top with Lemonade
  • Dash of Lime Juice
  • Garnish with Lemon and Lime Slices

Again, I implore you to share your stories of stupidity. I’m starting to feel a little lonely here, sharing all my goof ups and not hearing any of yours. Let’s make this a give-take idiot relationship!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
If you make one of these, you’ll be far from a village idiot, you’ll be a genius. It’s so refreshing and tasty, crisp and clean. The recipe is pretty simple, so I spiced it up a bit with top shelf liquors Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka and Bombay Sapphire Gin. Everything worked well together and left me thirsting for more!

April 25 – Gimlet

Dirty Drinkin’

Gin’s dirty little nickname is ‘the blue ruin’ and after checking out these songs, while getting down with my inner gin lover, I can completely understand why. Here are the tunes I’ve been listening to:

First Drink: Gin & Juice – Snoop Dogg

The quintessential gin anthem has got the baller in me “Rollin down the street, smokin’ endo, sippin’ on gin and juice.” Laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind, of course! I could basically just rock this jam all night and keep the gin flowing, but let’s check out some other tracks.

Second Drink: Cold Gin – Kiss

This song is pretty rocking and a good follow-up to Snoop Dogg. I gotta say though, that if cheap cold gin is the glue in the relationship Sir Gene Simmons is singing about, things aren’t looking good for this couple’s future. I know a couple good family law lawyers, though!

Third Drink: Bathtub Gin – Phish

These guys really must have loved gin because they also covered Snoop Dogg’s aforementioned Gin & Juice. I think making bathtub alcohol would be a fun little experiment (at this point of inebriation, anything is possible!)… you know, providing the distillation process didn’t blow up your home or anything.

Fourth Drink: Love is Like a Bottle of Gin – The Magnetic Fields

The romantic side of gin is starting to show through and I’m feeling amorous. Unfortunately, I’m home alone, so that means an ice cold shower I suppose. Perhaps the next drink will have me back at a subdued level of passion. There are some interesting lyrics in this little ditty, as the band makes their case for comparison between love and gin.

Fifth Drink: Misery and Gin – Merle Haggard

Now we’re entering the sad portion of the drinking (country music almost always plays a role in the downturn of the evening… that’s why I largely refuse to listen to it).

Sixth Drink: Gin Soaked Boy – Tom Waits

At this point, I am definitely a gin-soaked boy! This is another good tune for its dirty guitar work. A perfect song for getting smashed in some seedy dive bar!

Seventh Drink: You, Me and the Bottle Makes Three – Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Unlike most of the male population, I’ve never really been into the thought of a ménage à trois. However, if Mrs. Sip wants to snuggle up with me and a bottle of gin, who am I to turn that down!

Drink #115: Gimlet

Gimlet Cocktail

  • 2 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire)
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Garnish with Lime Wedge

Well, that was an interesting swing through some ginny music. I’ve concluded I’d rather drink gin than listen to songs about the spirit, but there were a couple decent tracks in this playlist.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This classic drink is wonderfully refreshing! The simplicity of not having to dump a ton of different ingredients into a cocktail has always been preferred by the Sip Advisor. The Lime Juice works really well with the juniper taste of the Gin and would be enjoyed by Gin enthusiasts and rookies alike.

March 1 – Berrynade

Making Words Up

Well, you learn something new every day. Do you know what a portmanteau is? Sounds kind of like a dirty bedroom move, but it’s actually when two words are combined to make one. Kind of like the celebrity trend with couple’s names: Brangelina, Bennifer, TomKat. While those are utterly stupid, here are some portmanteaus (really roles off the tongue nicely… adding to its filthy sex maneuver mystique) that, like me, are pretty awesome:

Yellular – Ever notice how people’s voices go up about a million decibels when they’re on their cell phone? Right, because everyone on the bus wants to hear about your STD test results. If you got the clap, we’ll give you a round of applause!

Bromance – There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a fond appreciation of your fellow man and sometimes there’s nothing better in the world than hanging with your buds, downing drinks, shooting the shit, and being stupid. Sex may top this, but if you’re in a “true” bromance, you’re getting that as well.

fotc_bromance

The Flight of the Conchords guys know all about bromance…

Nonversation – Ever talked to someone about absolutely nothing, but it still wastes 20 minutes of your day? Welcome to my workplace world, home of excruciating exchanges with people you don’t care to know anything about.

Social Notworking – Why work when you can spend hours a day liking Facebook statuses, posting photos of what you had for lunch on Instagram and hashtagging on Twitter?…Or making your next blog post…

Turducken – I’ve never actually had the pleasure of enjoying this delicacy. Perhaps someone can whip up a turkey-duck-chicken sandwich for me and e-mail it on over.

Chillax – The problem with me is that I chillax too much, to the point of really doing nothing at all. It’s my gift and my curse, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Chillax

Imagineering – Walt Disney coined the concept of combining imagination and engineering and in our own little ways, we can all live up to this title.

Kidult – Ask Mrs. Sip and she will exasperatedly confirm that I am a kidult. I won’t let age get in the way of enjoying anything from cartoons to playground equipment and everything in between. Just try and stop me.

Frenemy – I’m frenemies with too many people to list. Among them: Mrs. Sip, my publisher, and the network (all which may actually be the same person). But especially  my kitty. When he won’t sit with me, we are SO friends off…

Furry Frenemies

Edutainment/Infotainment – What I like to consider this blog (another portmanteau, in fact) to be.

Mathlete – One day we will look up to the great minds of our world, as we do to sports icons like Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods and O.J. Simpson… okay, maybe those three are bad examples. I wonder if the intellectual world is rife with scandal as well, like mathematicians using protractors and compasses to do the dirty or something.

Mocktail – Won’t find any of those around here…

Sexercise – Is there a better way to drop a few pounds!?

Cardio Sex

Sexting – The thorough stretching that goes into a good round of sexercise.

Sexcapade – What happens when your sexting and sexercise get you in trouble… but I like trouble!

Emoticon – My favourite emoticon is the one as shown here:     :-0 <==8
Translation: Time for some archery, bitches!

Hangry – I get a little cranky when I’m hungry… speaking of which, I’m feeling a little peckish right now. Let’s wrap things up and get to today’s drink.

Drink #60: Berrynade (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Berrynade Drink

  • 1 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire)
  • 0.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
  • Top with Lemonade
  • Garnish with raspberries and a strawberry wedge

Much like a portmanteau, I took berries and lemonade and made Berrynade. Now it’s time to have some fricken (fried chicken) before procrasterbating (not going to break this one down for you!).

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked this little recipe I put together on the fly. Bombay Sapphire is such a nice Gin to build on top of. The Raspberry Vodka and Lemonade just helped with some nice flavours and all the fruit garnishes were fun to eat along with the cocktail.