United States – The Revolver

Living Arrangements

It would be neat if we could find ourselves living in one of the fictional cities we read about or see in movies or on TV. Most of these fictional cities are located across the United States (our next stop on the worldwide liquor express) and here are the places I’d choose to reside if given the option:

South Park – South Park

There always seems to be crazy shit going down in South Park. It has been the epicenter for nearly all the world’s activity since 1997, including attacks by Mecha-Streisand (a mechanized Barbara Streisand), the initiation of same-sex marriage laws, and the battle ground for artists and consumers over illegal downloading, among so much else. Heck, both Jesus and Satan have resided in the small Colorado town, with Jesus even hosting a public access call-in TV show!

South_Park

Duckburg – DuckTales

Hopefully I’d be part of Scrooge McDuck’s inner circle and get to join him, Launchpad McQuack, and the gang on all their jet-setting adventures. If I wound up as one of the Beagle Boys, I don’t think I’d enjoy the experience nearly as much. Perhaps Scrooge and I could go for a dip in his vault and have a coin fight. We’d be the best of friends until I got greedy and stole his lucky dime. Then Flintheart Glomgold  and myself would go on the lam as filthy rich baddies.

Gotham City – Batman

The only thing to decide before settling in Gotham City is whether you’re going to be a hero or a villain. That’s actually a really difficult decision for me. I think I’ve spent too much of my life being a good guy and it might be time for a change… time to do something different and look after number one for a little while. Of course, that means I’ll have to battle Batman, rather than fight beside him, but I’m game. Hopefully I get some hot tail, too, like Harley Quinn, Catwoman, or Poison Ivy!

Springfield – The Simpsons

While there are actual Springfield’s across the United States, it still seems like this version is very much fictional. It probably helps that the state in which the Simpsons et al reside is never fully disclosed. It’s hinted at from time to time, but those hints often change and bury the mystery deeper and deeper. I think I’d be able to find a nice life in Springfield, hanging out at Moe’s Tavern and chowing down at Krusty Burger.

simpsons-springfield

Storybrooke – Once Upon a Time

I’ve actually been to Storybrooke… or at least the town (Steveston) where much of the show’s exterior shots are filmed. It’s only a half hour drive from Mrs. Sip’s and my home and we once upon a time went out that way for dinner and tracked down Mr. Gold’s pawn shop and other landmarks. Through Storybrooke, I could also visit places like Neverland, Wonderland, and the Enchanted Forest. That’s getting into a whole nother can of worms, dealing with fictional realms.

Pawnee – Parks and Recreation

The United States’ fourth most obese city, my svelte body may stick out like a sore thumb, but at least I could work with the Parks and Rec crew (perhaps the only time I’d ever be interested in government work). I’d make sure that Ron Swanson became my mentor and through his tutelage, I could amass a fortune of gold bars and an appreciation for outdoor life, woodwork, and simply being a man’s man.

Pawnee

Any Soap Opera Town – General Hospital, One Life to Live, Young and the Restless, etc.

Who wouldn’t want to live in a town where it seems nobody ever works and all they do is have romantic trysts and get into sticky situations!? Nobody is ever in need of money, unless you’re introduced as a homeless character and you don’t have to feel bad about committing evil acts because months later, you’ll likely redeem yourself and become a good guy, once again. Murderers, rapists, kidnappers, and the like have all become fan favourites in the Soaps.

Toontown – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Living as a cartoon character would be pretty sweet. You can never die, no matter how many anvils or pianos are dropped on your head, and you spend most of your day scheming to catch a bird or mouse. If I had to pick the character that best matches my personality, it would probably be Wile E. Coyote, with a sprinkle of Taz. My plans – as elaborate as they may be – never really work out and that drives me to whirlwind fits of rage, despite my good heart!

United States: The Revolver

The Revolver Drink Recipe

  • 2 oz Jim Beam Bourbon
  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • Dashes of Orange Bitters
  • Garnish with Orange Zest

Honourable Mentions go to Mayberry (Andy Griffiths Show), Bedrock (The Flintstones), and Sunnydale (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). The last one makes the list only so I can be the one to slay the slayer!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I really thought I’d like this cocktail more. Perhaps I went too light on the Orange Bitters. It was a touch too strong on the Bourbon side and I even used Black Cherry and not straight up Jim Beam. I do love what I did with the Orange Zest, so pat on the back for me!

January 11 – The Joker

Bad to the Bone

I’ve always had a fascination with villains and what drives them to become evil? Generally, they’re just so much more interesting than heroes. It’s hard to narrow a list down of the greatest super villains, but I’m the man drunk enough to try. Just a heads up before we start the list, that I’m not a comic book guy by any means, so a character’s villainy will be judged by their more mainstream examples of mischief!

#5: Shredder

Just think of the things the Shredder could have accomplished if he wasn’t so preoccupied by those meddling Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles were like the mutant version of the Scooby Doo Gang, constantly interfering with Shredder’s scheming. While the Turtles may battle other foes, the Shredder (aka Oroku Saki) was a constant presence on their mind, frequently causing havoc across New York City. Shredder was bad enough… do we even need to bring up the actions of the Super Shredder!?

Shredder

#4: Two-Face

You have to be pretty deranged to base all of your decisions on the flip of a coin. This is why NFL referees are so reviled! Two-Face (aka Harvey Dent) went from young, handsome, successful, and respected to a beast of a creature that is deformed and feared. He now hates the civil order he once enforced and is hell bent on destroying the Gotham City he previously protected. Harvey Dent still resides somewhere in Two-Face’s psyche, making for an interesting duality between good and evil, all fought within one man.

#3: Kingpin

It seemed like the Kingpin was always front and center, stirring the pot, when trouble was brewing. One of the best things about the crime boss is that he very rarely got his own hands dirty. Kingpin preferred to employ a series of henchman to do his bidding, while maintaining the public image of a successful businessman. That’s not to say that Wilson Fisk, as he’s known to most of the world, can’t handle his own wars. He’s portrayed as being incredibly strong, while battling the likes of Spider-Man, Daredevil, and the Punisher.

Kingpin

#2: Magneto

While he has sometimes crossed the line into good guy territory, Magneto’s end goal of a brotherhood of mutants that is no longer held back by humans (humans which Magneto would rather see eradicated from the world) drives him to perform all his misdeeds. His on-again, off-again friendship with Professor Charles Xavier is perhaps the only thing that keeps humanity alive within Magneto’s soul. It’s not surprising the mutant has suffered some psychological damage after surviving the Holocaust during World War II.

#1: Joker

Given Batman’s rogue gallery, it takes a pretty disturbed individual to take the mantle of the caped crusader’s arch nemesis. Pair him with the equally insane Harley Quinn and you have quite the deranged tandem. The Joker’s troubling reign of terror has spanned over 70 years. Whether portrayed by Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, or even Mark Hamill (that’s right, Luke Skywalker voiced the evil jester in the Animated Series), the Joker is equal parts fascinating and haunting… just the way we like him.

Super Saturday Shot Day: The Joker

The Joker Shooter

  • Rim glass with Sprinkles
  • 0.75 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire)
  • 0.75 oz Whiskey
  • Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

Do you agree with the list? Clearly, my selections will ruffle the feathers of some super geek out there. I welcome the chirps. Bring it on! And by the way, the results of my ‘Which Super Villain Are You?’ (which I’ve linked at the top of this post) say that I’m Venom because strength, disguise and adrenaline are my greatest weapons!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While I’m not sure if this recipe is actually meant to salute the infamous Joker, I’ve designed elements of it to better represent the Clown Prince of Crime. The Sprinkles, of course, represent all the wild colours he dons, as well as give a sense of the festive nature he would provide if he was a normal entertainer and not a psychotic villain. The Maraschino Cherry is the plush clown nose most entertainers adorn themselves with. As for the shooter, it wasn’t bad. I blended Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey with Bombay Sapphire East Gin. The Gin came in with its juniper taste at the end of the shot and while strong, was kind of tasty.