August 2 – Red Headed Princess

Ginger Snaps

Last week, we looked at the best male gingers. While I can’t say that redheads do much for me, I know they get the blood boiling for many men out there and I even I have to admit that some of them are on fire. This will basically be a list of the hottest gingers (save for the top pick, who makes the list because she’s an iconic personality), so if that’s your thing, you can thank me later!

#5: Mystique – X-Men

Particularly played by the vivacious Rebecca Romjin (although, I suppose Jennifer Lawrence holds her own, as well), Mystique is beautiful, despite her blue skin. In the X-Men world, there’s also Jean Grey if you’re into reds, but she’s too straight-laced. If you’re going to go ginger, you want one that has an edge and you’ll find that with Mystique. Not to mention, if you ever grew tired of the redhead look, the shape shifter could always turn into something new to spice up your love life!

Mystique Research

#4: Ariel – The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid still gets some guys all hot and bothered to this day… perhaps it’s that scene in the movie when she first washes ashore sans clothing. That, or it’s the fact that she can’t speak that may help some fellas along! I don’t know how things would really work (I’m not an anatomical expert, after all) given her half-fish lower end, but if there’s a will, there’s a way!

#3: Mary Jane Watson – Spiderman

MJ is the ultimate tease. Always calling Peter Parker “tiger” and shizzle like that. She does actually get together with the web slinger (and I don’t mean for that to sound as dirty as it does), although their relationship has its tragedies. Somehow, the new millennium movies failed to make MJ nearly as sexy as she is in the 90’s cartoon. It could have been the casting of Kirsten Dunst, but I think the writing played a large role in diminishing that charatcer’s sex appeal.

Mary Jane Spiderman

#2: Rogue – X-Men

Of course, I’m thinking of the cartoon version of the character (no knock to Miss Sookie Stackhouse), whom I’ve been a fan of for a very long time. The southern belle attitude, skin tight uniform, and passionate flair all total one sexy mutant. You’d certainly have to find a way to get over the whole not being able to touch her bare skin and her only being able to touch you with gloved hands, but relationship do require sacrifices!

#1: Lucy Ricardo – I Love Lucy

Lucy would likely drive any potential partner to an early grave given the misadventures she always seemed to become embroiled in. That said, Lucille Ball was a comedic genius and some of her bits from the venerable I Love Lucy show are still remembered today. Ball was also a shrewd business woman and established an empire and legacy that has kept her name out there long after she passed. Lucy was truly a national treasure and a legendary redhead.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Red Headed Princess

Red Headed Princess Shot

  • 0.5 oz Jagermeister
  • 0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
  • 0.5 oz Cranberry Juice
  • Garnish with a Watermelon Chunk

Some honourable mentions have to be handed out to Ygritte from Game of Thrones, Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Poison Ivy and Batgirl from Batman, and Black Widow from The Avengers. It’s funny how many of these hot reds come from the comic world, where I suppose they’re just more respected… that, or geeks are willing to drop their standards a little!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
Mrs. Sip and I both didn’t feel comfortable using the popular shooter Red Headed Slut, so we went with the Princess option… stay classy, right!? I found it interesting how the Peach Schnapps settled into a thin layer at the bottom of the shooter. It was a really good shot that mixed sweet and sour and went down incredibly smooth!

April 12 – Drunken Bunny

Bunny Style

It’s the season of the bunny… which means copious amounts of sex, right? Hmmm, apparently it just means lots of chocolate, jelly beans and other candy… I’ll take it! Here are the top five hippity hoppities (a colloquial term for rabbits):

#5: Br’er Rabbit – Song of the South

Ol’ Br’er Rabbit is always getting himself into trouble, which means the Sip Advisor has to bail him out and end up plummeting into the Splash Mountain briar patch, resulting in getting soaked. You know, sometimes I want to see Br’er Bear and Br’er Fox get their hands on the damn rabbit and tear him limb from limb. Together, we could celebrate with a jug of moonshine, some rabbit stew, and a barbecue cookout with all the trimmings. We could even watch Song of the South, providing we can find a copy of the banned film.

briarpatch

Why does Br’er Rabbit look happy to be thrown off a cliff into a briar patch!?

#4: Roger Rabbit – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

You have to give a ton of respect to anyone (and I mean ANYONE) who can land the vivacious Jessica Rabbit. Sure, all Roger wants to do is play pattycake with her and that’s why I invented a sexual maneuver with the same moniker. Back to Double-R, I wonder if they’ll ever get around to doing the long-rumoured sequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It’s taken more than two decades to sort things out, but producers don’t seem any closer to working on the prequel project that would apparently see Roger in his earlier days.

#3: Greg – Greg the Bunny

This adorable Fabricated-American isn’t just cute and cuddly… he’s naïve and innocent to boot. By chance, Greg joined the cast of Sweetknuckle Junction (inadvertently replacing his idol Rochester Rabbit), a children’s show akin to Sesame Street. The difference being that off-screen, his fellow puppets Warren the Ape, Count Blah, and others have a bad side that includes sex, drugs, and alcohol – sounds like fun, don’t it! Greg has to work hard to keep up with his cast mates, all while living the life of a second-class citizen among all the humanoids.

gregbunny

A meal with Gilbert Gottfried… Fabricated-Americans get all the lucky breaks!

#2: Babs and Buster Bunny – Tiny Toon Adventures

Babs and Buster, no relation, are a mischievous duo that head the crop of Acme Looniversity students and are looking to be the next generation of cartoon stars, following in the footsteps of the fabulous Looney Tunes gang. With school principal Bugs Bunny acting as their mentor, the two are the heir apparent to the Looney Tunes throne. Buster is Bugs’ intelligent, calculating side, while Babs represents Bugs’ manic, wild side. The couple comes together for a perfect mixture of mayhem. And I can’t be the only one who found Babs kind of attractive with her spunky attitude and sweetness. I mean, at least if you’re into animated femme fatales.

#1: Bugs Bunny – Looney Tunes

There’s no other way to say it: Bugs Bunny is an icon! His feuds with Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, and so many others are legendary. The great thing about Bugs is that he’s not impervious to his own battles and doesn’t always end up on the winning side. Surprisingly, the creators of the character didn’t think it would be the smash Bugs ended up being. Bugs has entertained his way to being a symbol for the entire Warner Bros. company (well, him and that damn singing frog!) and is still used in numerous media today.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Drunken Bunny

Drunken Bunny Shot

  • 0.5 oz Orange Rum
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
  • 0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
  • Top with Whip Cream
  • Garnish with Mini Eggs Bits

I have to give out some kudos to some bunnies that are best associated with company logos and mascots. This would include the Playboy Bunny (logo or girls, they’re all good), the Cadbury Bunny (I love me some crème and mini eggs), and the Energizer Bunny (we all wish we had its stamina). Which rabbit would you have liked to see shoehorned into this list? Happy Easter y’all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is actually a cocktail recipe that I’ve adapted into a shooter, which I seem to have to do a lot around here! The liquid is delicious, although I had to combine White Rum and Grand Marnier to achieve the desired Orange Rum. The Mini Eggs Bits at the end of the drink were a very nice touch and were easy to crush up for the shooter.

United States – The Revolver

Living Arrangements

It would be neat if we could find ourselves living in one of the fictional cities we read about or see in movies or on TV. Most of these fictional cities are located across the United States (our next stop on the worldwide liquor express) and here are the places I’d choose to reside if given the option:

South Park – South Park

There always seems to be crazy shit going down in South Park. It has been the epicenter for nearly all the world’s activity since 1997, including attacks by Mecha-Streisand (a mechanized Barbara Streisand), the initiation of same-sex marriage laws, and the battle ground for artists and consumers over illegal downloading, among so much else. Heck, both Jesus and Satan have resided in the small Colorado town, with Jesus even hosting a public access call-in TV show!

South_Park

Duckburg – DuckTales

Hopefully I’d be part of Scrooge McDuck’s inner circle and get to join him, Launchpad McQuack, and the gang on all their jet-setting adventures. If I wound up as one of the Beagle Boys, I don’t think I’d enjoy the experience nearly as much. Perhaps Scrooge and I could go for a dip in his vault and have a coin fight. We’d be the best of friends until I got greedy and stole his lucky dime. Then Flintheart Glomgold  and myself would go on the lam as filthy rich baddies.

Gotham City – Batman

The only thing to decide before settling in Gotham City is whether you’re going to be a hero or a villain. That’s actually a really difficult decision for me. I think I’ve spent too much of my life being a good guy and it might be time for a change… time to do something different and look after number one for a little while. Of course, that means I’ll have to battle Batman, rather than fight beside him, but I’m game. Hopefully I get some hot tail, too, like Harley Quinn, Catwoman, or Poison Ivy!

Springfield – The Simpsons

While there are actual Springfield’s across the United States, it still seems like this version is very much fictional. It probably helps that the state in which the Simpsons et al reside is never fully disclosed. It’s hinted at from time to time, but those hints often change and bury the mystery deeper and deeper. I think I’d be able to find a nice life in Springfield, hanging out at Moe’s Tavern and chowing down at Krusty Burger.

simpsons-springfield

Storybrooke – Once Upon a Time

I’ve actually been to Storybrooke… or at least the town (Steveston) where much of the show’s exterior shots are filmed. It’s only a half hour drive from Mrs. Sip’s and my home and we once upon a time went out that way for dinner and tracked down Mr. Gold’s pawn shop and other landmarks. Through Storybrooke, I could also visit places like Neverland, Wonderland, and the Enchanted Forest. That’s getting into a whole nother can of worms, dealing with fictional realms.

Pawnee – Parks and Recreation

The United States’ fourth most obese city, my svelte body may stick out like a sore thumb, but at least I could work with the Parks and Rec crew (perhaps the only time I’d ever be interested in government work). I’d make sure that Ron Swanson became my mentor and through his tutelage, I could amass a fortune of gold bars and an appreciation for outdoor life, woodwork, and simply being a man’s man.

Pawnee

Any Soap Opera Town – General Hospital, One Life to Live, Young and the Restless, etc.

Who wouldn’t want to live in a town where it seems nobody ever works and all they do is have romantic trysts and get into sticky situations!? Nobody is ever in need of money, unless you’re introduced as a homeless character and you don’t have to feel bad about committing evil acts because months later, you’ll likely redeem yourself and become a good guy, once again. Murderers, rapists, kidnappers, and the like have all become fan favourites in the Soaps.

Toontown – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Living as a cartoon character would be pretty sweet. You can never die, no matter how many anvils or pianos are dropped on your head, and you spend most of your day scheming to catch a bird or mouse. If I had to pick the character that best matches my personality, it would probably be Wile E. Coyote, with a sprinkle of Taz. My plans – as elaborate as they may be – never really work out and that drives me to whirlwind fits of rage, despite my good heart!

United States: The Revolver

The Revolver Drink Recipe

  • 2 oz Jim Beam Bourbon
  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • Dashes of Orange Bitters
  • Garnish with Orange Zest

Honourable Mentions go to Mayberry (Andy Griffiths Show), Bedrock (The Flintstones), and Sunnydale (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). The last one makes the list only so I can be the one to slay the slayer!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I really thought I’d like this cocktail more. Perhaps I went too light on the Orange Bitters. It was a touch too strong on the Bourbon side and I even used Black Cherry and not straight up Jim Beam. I do love what I did with the Orange Zest, so pat on the back for me!

March 31 – Crème Egg

Wascally Wabbits

With all the fun Mrs. Sip and I are having in Las Vegas this weekend, I nearly forgot that it is also Easter. Fear not, my little sippers, The Sip Advisor Bunny has visited and to come up with an original recipe for us all to enjoy! It’s the season of the bunny (meaning copious amounts of sex, right?), so let’s enjoy our chocolate and jelly beans, partake in this soon-to-be classic cocktail and salute our favourite rabbits!

Bugs Bunny – Looney Tunes

The one who started it all, this stinker has been a thorn in the side of Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, and so many others… and we love him for it. Everyone wishes that they could be as clever as Bugs when dealing with individuals who are hunting you, building on top of your home, or who are door-to-door salesmen. I could do without the wrong turns at Albuquerque, though!

bugs-bunny

Babs and Buster Bunny – Tiny Toon Adventures

Babs and Buster Bunny, no relation (as they used to say), have been known to cause much mayhem at Acme Looniversity and the surrounding Acme Acres. They stand in the long shadow of Bugs Bunny, but have shown glimpses of being able to live up to the hype that surrounds their comedic team. All they need are a few more anvils to drop on the heads of Montana Max, Plucky Duck, and the rest of the gang and they should be in good shape.

Br’er Rabbit – Song of the South

This little troublemaker has done everything from subject his mother to an undiagnosed ulcer from worry to cause racial accusations to be thrown at the Walt Disney Corporation. Br’er Rabbit is also responsible for your faithful Sip Advisor getting soaked numerous times on Splash Mountain as I try to rescue him from the dastardly duo of Br’er Fox and Br’er Bear.

Greg – Greg the Bunny

Despite being a short-lived series (only 13 episodes for its original Fox run), Greg the Bunny worked his way into the hearts of viewers thanks to his kind and gentle nature. While other Fabricated-Americans in his world are alcoholic thespians (Warren DeMontague, aka Professor Ape) and angry has-beens (Rochester Rabbit), Greg is about as normal as a puppet can come – except for the fact he has to be held up by his ears in order to use a urinal.

Lunch with Gilbert Gottfried... where do I sign up?

Lunch with Gilbert Gottfried… where do I sign up?

Roger Rabbit – Who Framed Roger Rabbit

The patty-cake playing, chaos inspiring, rabbit may be goofy looking, but you gotta respect anyone who can land a babe like Jessica Rabbit. How did Roger ever get together with a girl who isn’t bad, but is drawn that way, you ask? Well, he makes her laugh, giving hope to all us guys out there that may not be 10’s in the looks department, but are at the very least 8’s on the personality scale!

Honourable mention goes to the Playboy Bunny, who despite not doing much of anything, has been a beacon of naked ladies for years and could probably top this list thanks to the male demographic. We drink to you, good bunny!

Drink #90: Crème Egg (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Creme Egg Cocktail

  • Rim glass with Crème Egg middle and festive sprinkles
  • 1 oz Irish Crème
  • 1 oz Crème de Cacao
  • 1 oz Chocolate Liqueur
  • Top with Milk
  • Garnish with Mini Eggs

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful Easter. Next year, this will have to make an appearance on your brunch menu!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
While this turned out to be one of the best looking drinks we’ve made so far for the site, the overall taste was a bit of a let-down. The Crème Egg rim was a wonderful touch, but I expected more from the various ingredients. Perhaps a little tweaking will find the right mix.

March 4 – Red Apple

Toxicity

Today’s drink may not be poisonous (my liver may disagree), but it has inspired me to look at the fictional folks who have suffered a toxic fate. In dissecting some of their tales, I will attempt to put myself in their shoes and provide a Sip Survivor’s Guide to lethal venoms!

Snow White – Poisoned Red Apple

Now it’s a bit beyond me as to why Snow White would ever accept a red apple from a strange old woman when she knows there’s a bounty out on her head. And doesn’t Snow know that Granny Smith’s are where it’s at and any intelligent person understands that Golden Delicious follows, in the absence of the good green stuff? I can suffer from insomnia at times, so if anyone knows where I can get my hands on one of these sleeping apples that would be pretty sweet. Of course, the chances of Mrs. Sip waking me up the next morning with a kiss are slim… She may choose to leave me in a perpetual dream world for all of time.

Snow White Poison Apple

Dude from Crank – Beijing Cocktail

Only having one hour to live thanks to his poisoning, this guy makes the most of it, running around Los Angeles committing crimes, getting into random fights, and having exhibitionist sex with his girlfriend at the mall. I gotta say, if you wanted to kill the guy, why would you give him an hour to live and also explain this to him in a video when he awakens?… silly movies. If I was given the Beijing Cocktail, I’d use my last hour to do some hardcore parkour. If you’re going to go anyway, might as well do some stupid risky stuff first.

King Hamlet, Queen Gertrude, Laertes, King Claudius, Prince Hamlet – Hebenon

Wow, there’s a lot of bad shit going on here. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, indeed. Claudius poisons Hamlet’s father; Claudius accidentally poisons Gertrude’s wine; Laertes slashes Hamlet with a poison blade; Hamlet stabs Laertes with the same toxic blade as they scuffle; Hamlet not only stabs Claudius, but forces him to drink the poisoned wine; Horatio (where the hell did he come from?) almost willingly poisons himself, due to all the grief… okay, breathe… I can only conclude that if this was all going on around me, I’d be getting the f*ck outta Denmark!

Ron Weasley – Poisoned Mead

Mead – (def.) also called honey wine, is an alcoholic beverage that is produced by brewing a solution of honey and water…

What in the world was this underage boy doing drinking mead in the first place? What kind of supervision is taking place at Hogwart’s, a school where children are attacked on a regular basis? How does this place still have a license to teach? In the interest of full disclosure, I’m only upset because I was denied acceptance to the school, instead turning to the dark arts of blogging.

Batman – Fear Gas, Smilex

Used by the Scarecrow, fear gas causes victims to hallucinate their worse fears. While Batman, of course, is inflicted by nightmares of bats (seriously, who’s scared of friggin’ bats… just big tough guy Bruce Wayne), I would be haunted by vivid scenes of naked girls, pillow-fighting for the right to ravage Mrs. Sip. How does the old saying go: fear what you love!

And as if Batman didn’t have enough to worry about in the field of poisons, the Joker uses Smilex, a toxin which kills quickly and leaves the dead with a distorted smiling face. That wouldn’t bug me too much, given my face is permanently locked in an exaggerated grin. Remember when your mom told you not to roll your eyes because they’d get stuck in the back of your head? I never listened.

Joker Smilex

My Little Pony stable – Poison Joke

Wow, the weird paths research can take you down sometimes… this is why I never did any during my school days. So apparently, on a kids cartoon keep in mind, the ponies were once poisoned resulting in a unicorn’s horn going limp (erectile dysfunction, clearly), another’s voice becoming deep and manly (transgendered) and one suffering what seems to be the onset effects of an STD. And people thought the 1980’s excess was bad.

Cartoon Characters (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) – Dip

If I was animated, this substance would scare me more. Since I’m of the lifeless – no, wait, that doesn’t sound right… stupid thesaurus antonyms… what kind of a dinosaur is a thesaurus anyways? – I mean, since I’m of the living variety, the only Dip that scares me is Fun Dip. Poison in a pouch, if you ask me. Side note: If I was animated, I’d like to think that I’d be a cross between Wile E. Coyote and Sylvester the Cat. No lack of effort, but disappointing results all around!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Mutagen Ooze

So, one day these turtles were hanging out in the sewer when mysterious ooze was poured through a drain and splashed all over them. Almost instantaneously, they began to grow and develop a vocabulary that included words like “awesome,” “radical,” and “cowabunga.” Next came fighting skills and an obsessive love of pizza. If I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, I’d be the slacker one. Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines, Raphael is cool but crude, Michaelanglo is a party dude, Sip Advisor (Sipario) is lazy as shit and will likely be evicted.

Drink #63: Red Apple

Red Apple Drink

  • 1.5 oz Vodka
  • 1 oz Lemon Juice
  • Top with Apple Juice
  • Dash of Grenadine

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This was a pretty good drink built on the back of the mixers, the Apple Juice and Lime Juice. The Grenadine finished the recipe and had the cocktail actually tasting like a red apple.