Flavour Revolution – Honey

Terms of Endearment

The term ‘honey’, given to a loved one, has been documented to have existed all the way back in the 14th century. It is something I have often called Mrs. Sip, who is as sweet as they come! Let’s take a look at some other terms, from around the world, that just don’t measure up:

Petit Chou – Little Cabbage (French)

Cabbage smells funny when cooked and is a food that many just can’t wrap their heads around taste wise. You would also never think that cabbage is cute or even remotely attractive in any way. I think if I ever handed this term out to Mrs. Sip, she would make a quick trip to the shower and I’d be setting up shop on the couch for an indeterminate stay…

Cabbages

Tamago Gata No Kao – Egg with Eyes (Japanese)

In all technicality, aren’t we all “eggs with eyes”!? The scary part is, for a culture that has such other oddities going on, as tentacle porn and panties in vending machines, things could have turned out worse, especially given what the Japanese are willing to eat, in the sushi realm. All I can envision when I see this term is some weird anime character with an oddly sweet voice.

Ma Puce – My Flea (French)

The French make this list a second time, which should be a solid indictment against their language, as a whole!  I’m sure your partner would love to hear that you think of them as a blood-sucking parasite that causes you to feel itchy and uncomfortable. I wouldn’t even use this term on a child. If animals hate fleas so much, why in the world would I like them!?

Self Cleaning Cat

Chang Noi – Little Elephant (Thai)

The one saving grace here is that the term is “little elephant” and not a plain old elephant. That said, little elephants still weigh in at an average of 200 pounds at birth and grow steadily from that point. I can only imagine the thrashing any male Thai nationals received upon using this term in other locales, from women who had no interest in being compared to a baby pachyderm!

Chen Yu Luo Yan – Diving Fish Swooping Geese (Chinese)

I’m not even sure where to begin with this term and how to really break it down. Given the two terms that are being combined, I can only assume that this term of endearment would be handed out to someone who was skilled at oral sex. You know, with all the “going down” in dives and swoops. Of the five terms I’ve chosen to deride, this may be the most flattering.

Flavour Revolution: Tennessee Honey Hole

Tennessee Honey Hole Cocktail

Given I’ve taken a shot at some terms of endearment, I feel I should reveal a couple of mine, that little sippers can ridicule if they choose. I often call Mrs. Sip “Pookie,” based off of Garfield the Cat’s stuffed animal. Have at it, but I will never stop, as I’m sure anyone who uses the above terms has no intention of changing their game!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Well, this cocktail sounds a little dirty, but I guess it kind of goes along with the subject matter of today’s article. The drink was pretty good, with peach pulp coming through the straw with every sip. The peaches I used weren’t as flavourful as I would have hoped for, but the Jack Daniel’s and Ginger Ale made up for it.

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Portugal – Maria McClaire

Fatal Attraction

The Portuguese are big into fatalism and it has even spawned the country’s national music genre, called Fado. They are quick to use the word “oxalá”, which translated means “if only” or “hopefully”. Let’s check out some of the most popular quotes on fate and see if we can join the Portuguese and get our heads wrapped around this cosmic concept:

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.” ― Lemony Snicket

I think this quote has to be my favourite of the bunch because it greatly describes how so many different people (“the waiters”) can play varying roles in your life and can push and pull you in different directions, some of which you’ll want to travel and others you’d avoid like the plague.

Fate Cat

“There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be…” ― John Lennon

Leave it to John Lennon to confuse and interest you all at the same time. This great lyric comes from The Beatles classic, All You Need is Love, and while it’s been proven time and time again that you, in fact, need a little more than simply love, it’s certainly a wonderful start and can be the impetus for your greatest adventures!

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote would seem to say that we have more power than we think in our own lives. That the universe will follow suit and fix itself accordingly to our wishes and desires. I hope that this is accurate. I’d like to think that I drive fate and not the other way around. I’m probably wrong, but I refuse to stop believing.

“Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been fate. People are always a little confused about this, as they are in the case of miracles. When someone is saved from certain death by a strange concatenation of circumstances, they say that’s a miracle. But of course if someone is killed by a freak chain of events — the oil spilled just there, the safety fence broken just there — that must also be a miracle. Just because it’s not nice doesn’t mean it’s not miraculous.” ― Terry Pratchett

Mrs. Sip and her sister are huge fans of Terry Pratchett and even I must admit that I dig this quote. It’s so true that the word fate gets tossed around mostly for moments of tragedy. I tend to use it much more in the positive light, such as the fate of love, friendship, and great occurrences during one’s life.

Tempting Fate

“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” ― Groucho Marx

I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. Mrs. Sip does most of our planning and that has resulted in the Sip Advisor living a charmed life, with folks regularly saying they want what I have or being interested in my activities because I lead a fun-filled, fascinating lifestyle. Keep up the good work, Mrs. Sip!

“What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate.” ― Donald Trump

So, if we are to believe The Donald, I guess he didn’t react too well to fate in the following situations where he turned out to be a mega loser: the death of the United States Football League; his multiple failed marriages; and worst yet, the bungling of Trump Vodka. Gotta give the guy props for always trying, though.

Tempting Fate Kitty

“I believe in luck and fate and I believe in karma, that the energy you put out in the world comes back to meet you.” ― Chris Pine

I’m a huge believer in karma. It guides most of what I do and when things take a downturn, I’m quick to examine what I may have done to cause my own misfortune. Finding a perfect balance in your own life is something I think all folks chase and if they don’t, they end up suffering and being miserable.

“Just because Fate doesn’t deal you the right cards, it doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential.” ― Les Brown

This reminds me of the old adage: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. You have to roll with what you are given and turn bad into good. If you’re lucky enough to largely get good right off the bat, then you have to embrace that and turn it into as much positivity as possible, staving off the bad as long as you can.

Portugal: Maria McClaire

Maria McClaire Martini

  • 1.5 oz Irish Whiskey
  • 1 oz Port
  • 0.5 oz Campari
  • Dash of Peychaud’s Bitters
  • Garnish with Peach Slice

What are your thoughts on fate? Did these quotes inspire anyone out there in the Land of Sip? Did I inspire any of you to be better people? Probably not, so let’s just enjoy a quick drink together and go our separate ways!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
If you’d like to check out more Port recipes, check out this great site. When I originally made this cocktail, I had a bit of a mind lapse and used Irish Creme instead of Irish Whiskey… let’s just say things turned out much better when I realized my transgression and corrected the recipe.

February 1 – Slippery Nipple

Not Necessary

For some reason, us humans are equipped with a number of features that are absolutely useless. I mean, who really uses their five senses? I myself am experimenting with a new type of hybrid sensory experience, which I like to call non-sense. And the hits just keep on coming! Here are the top five needless body parts:

#5: Wisdom Teeth

Mrs. Sip can vouch that I was no more wiser with my wisdom teeth than I am today. Why then, do we have these chompers that eventually require removal, followed by a lengthy recovery where we have to be careful with what we eat? There should never be situations where we can’t eat whatever we want, whenever we want. I had to give up chips for a couple weeks, although I was lucky in that my wisdom teeth were removed over two procedures (one for each side) and so I just pushed all food to the uninjured side.

wisdom-teeth

#4: Body Hair

In all seriousness, who needs body hair? Both women and men seem hell bent on plucking, waxing, and lasering any and all fur from their frame. As for the hair on the top of your head, I guess that can stick around. People seem to like having a mane that they can style and colour any way they want. Heck, that’s why we shun those who no longer have that option. Right, we’re still doing that shunning of baldies thing!?

#3: Male Nipple

Let’s be clear here: I’m only talking about the MALE nipple. It serves no purpose and it’s not as if it features prominently into male nudity, like it does with the fairer sex. Remember every inch of a female breast can be revealed and it’s only nudity if that nipple slips out to say hello… despite the fact males can parade around topless all they want. At least the female nipple also serves a higher purpose in the whole breast feeding thing. A dude’s nipple is just their for ornamental reasons, I suppose.

male nipple

#2: Appendix

It seems as if the only reason the appendix is around is to cause trouble and eventually be removed. The appendix is a ticking time bomb in any human who still has one. Charles Darwin once suggested that the appendix was used by ancient humans to digest leaves. Well, my little sippers, I ain’t no vegetarian, so the appendix is a total waste. The worst thing is that some folks have actually died from appendicitis… I bet they’re pretty pissed about that.

#1: Tonsils and Adenoids

Similar to the appendix, the tonsils are not required for survival and, in fact, can be credited with causing more harm than good. Many children (and even adults) go through the removal of their tonsils and adenoids, usually after they’ve been the source of chronic pain. At least they get ice cream and Jell-O for their suffering. This may just be a conspiracy theory, but does anyone else out there think Bill Cosby is behind the whole tonsils and adenoids abstraction industry!?

Super Saturday Shot Day: Slippery Nipple

Slippery Nipple Shooter

  • 0.75 oz Cream Liqueur (I used Amarula)
  • 0.75 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Garnish with Peach Slice

I should also point out that a tailbone seems completely unnecessary. I don’t need a tail for balance, so why in the world do I require having a tailbone!? If I had a tail, though, I think I’d like to pick one out of the stegosaurus catalogue, complete with spikes to fend off predators!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Man, there are a lot of nipple-related recipes to choose from. I went with the original Slippery Nipple over other options because I remember enjoying these way back when during one of my first times ever getting blasted with Mrs. Sip. Ah, the fuzzy memories! How does the shooter hold up today? Well, I used Amarula Cream instead of the usually advertised Irish Crème, as I wanted to see how the two fruit-based spirits combined. Sadly, this may have made the shot curdle a little… happily, it still tasted pretty good, but it could have been better!