March 9 – Breakfast of Champions

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Slogan-O’s

Cereal and advertising slogans go hand-in-hand. All of us remember them from our childhood, when breakfast mascots seemed to rule the world. Today, many of these jingles and mascots have gone the way of the dodo, so let’s give them one more chance in the sun. Thanks for the memories!

“The cereal shot from guns” – Quaker Puffed Rice

The officially-licensed breakfast of the NRA. Why not have a bowl, thus justifying the need for firearms in every home.

“Brings out the tiger in you, in you!” – Frosted Flakes

So does hockey, naked women, Texas hold’em poker (because I always lose the allowance Mrs. Sip provides me), go-kart racing, and afternoon naps! Tony the Tiger, I am not, however.

“Stays crunchy, even in milk!” – Cap’n Crunch

This is the cereal equivalent to McDonald’s food not decomposing months after being served…

“Can’t get enough of that Sugar Crisp.” – Sugar Crisp

Yeah, actually I can. I never liked Sugar Crisp. It just tasted funny to me. Sugar Bear was pretty cool, though. He seemed like a total junkie, always needing his fix!

“A is for Apple. J is for Jacks.” – Apple Jacks

Thanks for teaching me how to spell Monsieur Apple Jacks (sounds like it could be a French name, although I guess it would be Apple Jacques)… especially when cereals like Quisp have a catchphrase like “Quisp for Quazy energy.” At least one company isn’t dropping the education ball.

“Snap! Crackle! Pop!” – Rice Krispies

It’s like the cereal is talking to me, man. Seriously, Rice Krispies must be responsible for a number of mental patient and drug-induced freakouts.

“Follow my nose. It always knows.” – Froot Loops

Unfortunately, Toucan Sam isn’t the same tracking bird he once was. A combination of old age and a terrible cocaine addiction have left the poor guy without the ability to sniff out Froot Loops. His nephews (Puey, Susey and Louis – what a rip-off of Huey, Dewey and Louie) have taken over in his absence, but as with most other things, this new generation of cereal hunters just don’t have the drive, passion or respect to live up to Sam’s legacy.

“I’m coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs!” – Cocoa Puffs

Sonny Cuckoo is a fiend for Cocoa Puffs. He is the high-strung opposite of Sugar Bear’s laidback stoner ways. The kind of bird that commits violent crimes to procure the money he needs for his habit.

“They’re Magically Delicious!” & “They’re Always After Me Lucky Charms!” – Lucky Charms

Pissing-off Irish and leprechaun-looking people for years, the fine folks at Lucky Charms are now being forced to pay reparations to the Emerald Isle; its angry, drunken citizens; and the United Union of Leprechauns. These are people you really don’t want to mess with.

“Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids!” – Trix

You know the Trix Rabbit actually got to eat the cereal once. There was a write-in vote cast (one that I paid more attention to than any government election I’ve ever had to suffer through) that saw kids get to choose whether or not the “Silly Rabbit” would finally get his hands on the fruity breakfast. He won the vote, restoring my faith that all kids aren’t dicks and got to eat one bowl of Trix before going back to being a perennial loser.

“Gotta have my pops!” – Corn Pops

To a generation of obese kids today(most likely thanks to foods just like Corn Pops), this slogan just means they want another Diet Coke (worse for you than normal Coke, of course). I can’t help but notice Corn Pop’s grammar sucks, too… what do you expect when all kids can do nowadays is text short-form words and barely have the attention span to get through an episode of some Japanimation garbage on their tablet.

“The Breakfast of Champions” – Wheaties

This slogan will remain false until my picture is plastered on the box, as I am a reigning four-time liquor champion of the world. Our sport just isn’t given the respect it deserves.

“I vant to eat your cereal!” – Count Chocula

How in the world is Count Chocula still more of a badass than those losers from Twilight?

“It tastes like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!” – Cocoa Krispies

What’s wrong with a crunchy chocolate shake, I ask? Are you saying that I don’t make good milkshakes just because they’re a little crunchy? Well, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, so suck it! And how come Snap, Crackle and Pop weren’t African-American for these Cocoa Krispies ads?

“They’re A-B-C-Delicious.” – Alpha-Bits

It was Alpha-Bits that first stoked the fires for me to become a writer. A very young Sip Advisor used to take his bowl of cereal and write prize-winning blogs for Mama and Papa Sip. I was paid in chocolate chip cookies… that and stock options.

“We eat what we like.” – Apple Jacks

Oh man, this could get dirty. You know what, I’m going to take the high road and let sleeping dogs lie. The Sip Advisor is growing up!

“How do they cram in all that graham?” – Golden Grahams

It’s simple arithmetic: you calculate the square root of the graham, divided by the hypotenuse of the golden and then you know how much you can cram. Don’t need a Nobel Prize in Mathematics to figure that out.

Drink #68: Breakfast of Champions

Rim glass with crushed Froot Loops
1 oz Three Olives Loopy Vodka
0.5 oz Milk
Garnish with Froot Loops

I finally got to try the Loopy (Froot Loops-flavoured) Vodka, thanks to Cousin Sip bringing it around to The Sip Advisor employee retreat. Next year’s team building event will be for everyone to stay home and spend the weekend in their pajamas. I’m the best boss in the world!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
My only regret with this shot is that the Froot Loops, when crushed, lose their wonderful colour and kind of become a normal brownish cereal colour. Still, the whole appearance looks great and the shooter is delicious.

March 2 – Key Lime Pie

Posted on March 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Dessertification

Truth be told, I’m not much of a pie fan (dirty jokes aside). It’s not that I don’t like pie, but I’m more of a cookie and brownie man. I thought it might be best to list some of my favourite dessert treats, in case anyone out there is looking to butter me up like the living legend that I am.

Two-Bite Brownies

While they’re advertised as two-bite treats, it’s much more enjoyable to shove the entire brownie in your mouth and chomp on it noisily. If you’re looking for a fun evening in the future, try having a brownie bash. Each player brings a bag of two-bite brownies, which are emptied out into the centre of the playing surface. Then each competitor builds up a fortress for safe keeping of their treasures and you play Hungry Hungry Hippo’s style, running and retrieving one treat at a time until all the brownies have been claimed.

Rainbow Chips Ahoy

Nothing beats ending a long hard day with a plate of cookies and a cold glass of milk… unless it’s a fat beefy burger and an ice cold cocktail. Hell, if your guy-et is going well, why not do both! Rainbow chips Ahoy (which are clearly superior to regular chocolate chips ahoy) are one of my favourite camping supplies and you truly haven’t experienced all the joys of life until you’ve made smores between of these two cookies. As a bonus, the rainbow chips take you back to fond childhood memories quicker than the sight of an ice cream truck.

Black Forest Cake

Mrs. Sip really stole a piece of my heart when we celebrated our first dating anniversary and she bought me an entire Black Forest Cake even though she isn’t besties with any cake other than Ice Cream Cake. Yes, that black forest beauty and I spent a bulk of the next week together, sharing tender glances, romantic embraces and nights of unbridled passion.

Chocolate Fondue

The fun part about fondue (maybe they should just call it FUNdue… great, now the lame police are after me… why do I always write the worst jokes?) is coming up with interesting things to dip in the chocolate. While pedestrian items like fruit, marshmallows and sponge cake are used by the masses, I am an extreme fondue-er, dunking sub sandwiches, turkey legs, and edible underwear into the melted goodness.

Minnie’s Bake Shop Cookies at Disney Parks

These cookies are amazing! Every time Mrs. Sip and I are in Disneyland or Disneyworld, a good portion of our snack budget (well, budget is a loose term, given it’s an infinite amount) is spent of these treats. We’ve come home with an entire suitcase filled with the delicacies before… and it’s not like we make them last for as long as possible. They are often demolished in a single serving, as we go into a trance-like orgy of cookie destruction. The next morning, we awake to smears of chocolate and peanut on our clothing (luckily we’re still in clothing); crumbs, like fallen snow, littering the floor; and splashes of milk dripping from the ceiling.

Black Magic Cupcakes

This is Mama Sip’s world famous recipe, which has caused her to be hounded over the years by family, friends, co-workers, even da freakin’ pope, to make them. Basically, they are a chocolate cupcake with chocolate chip cheesecake mixed in and are absolutely fabulous warmed up or even cold. Made from a secret family recipe that has been handed down for thousands of years, I may have said too much already. If you would like the recipe, please send $500 to Sip Advisor Enterprises and I’ll get back to you in due time.

Drink #61: Key Lime Pie

Rim glass with Graham Cracker Crumbs
0.5 oz Galliano
0.5 oz Fireball Whiskey
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Milk
Top with Whipped Cream

There are at least three variations of this shot and I kind of put pieces together from all three to make my version. Enjoy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Full disclosure: I left out an ingredient when making this shooter. Originally, I forgot to include Galliano, so I had to make it again. It worked out pretty well when done properly. The Graham Cracker Crumb rim was a key part of the recipe.

February 23 – Berry Delight

Posted on February 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Rim Jobs

One of my favourite ways to complete the aesthetics of a cocktail is to give it a good rimming. Apparently the network isn’t too happy with me terming it that way… don’t really understand why. And, actually, I shouldn’t say it’s how I complete the drink, as it’s usually the starting point… let’s call it a thorough round of foreplay. Oh, now I see the issue!

I like to use anything that will stick to a glass, no holds barred style. With today’s cocktail, I used strawberry pop rocks. In the past, I’ve used anything from salt (perfect for margaritas) to coconut shavings to cinnamon sugar. And over the rest of this blog’s run, I will continue to experiment with other substances: cocaine, cereal, gravel, etc.

For those who are inexperienced rimmers (we can’t all be experts at the rimming arts), there are a few techniques that will help you put together the best looking cocktail. Here are some tips:

First, coat the rim of your glass with something sticky that will hold whatever you want to stick to it. You can use lemon or lime juice or different syrups (simple syrup in particular is handy).

Most rimming sets have you dunk your glass upside down into whatever liquid you’ve chosen to use and then into whatever rim you want to achieve.

Some people will only rim the outside of a glass, so as not to disturb the drink inside. You can accomplish this by dipping you glass at a 45-degree angle into the liquid, spinning so only the outside of the glass is coated. Then do the same with the rim ingredient. For this, you might want to use small plates, rather than a rimming set.

Note: Those are not the Sip Advisor’s hands… mine are sexier!

Make sure that your rimming material isn’t so heavy that it will not hold. I’ve had issues with rock salt and crushed candy cane bits before. The lighter the item, the more likely it will adhere to the rim coating.

Once the rim is complete, you can use a moist paper towel to clean up the edges and remove anything that has fallen into the glass, if you want a clean cut look. Be careful adding any garnish to the glass, so as not to disturb your work of art.

If serving to friends, you could choose to only rim half the glass in case guests don’t want to taste the rim contents with each sip. Otherwise, they can man (or woman) up, take the first sip with the rim and drink every subsequent sip in the same spot… wussies.

Now let’s feel the snap, crackle and pop of today’s rimming. Satisfaction ALWAYS guaranteed.

Drink #54: Berry Delight (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Rim glass with Strawberry Pop Rocks
1 oz Raspberry Vodka
0.5 oz Cranberry Ginger Ale

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This was a relatively plain shot, so I took it upon myself to add the Pop Rock rim, which was fun to eat even after the liquor was already down the hatch.

February 16 – Tootsie Roll

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

More Missed Connections

A month and a half into the life of this blog, my Missed Connections post seems to be one of the most popular. Therefore, we’re going back to the pages of Craigslist to dig up some more gold. Valentine’s Day seems like the perfect time for people to be searching for that special someone and hopefully (for our reading pleasure) they’re looking for it in all the wrong places!

Missed Connections: In Search of the Black Forest

Sexy german Frauline with the sexy sexy….

bagels and sweet smile yesterday. I’d like to put me liderHOSEn Into your black forest.

Advisor’s Take: I like this guy’s style, coming straight out with his intentions (masked behind some wonderfully cliched euphemisms). I’ll even forgive him for the atrocious spelling. Still not sure exactly what a ‘sexy sexy’ is, but I’m sure someone will get me up to speed with today’s lingo.

Missed Connections: Taco Time

Talked about tacos. You said that you wanted to start a taco blog. Saw that you had a pretty nice pooper underneath those skinny jeans. Hit me up if you want to munch.

Advisor’s Take: Ah, street meat romance! Is there anything better in the world? Very nice double entendre with the “want to munch” line. I LOVE it when guys refer to my ass as a pooper (sexy, no?). Plus the guy clearly has goals. His conversation about starting a taco blog is hauntingly similar to the discussion I had with Mrs. Sip before starting this wonderfully amazing site.

Missed Connections: Finger Lickin’ Good

You Licked My Fingers

I spotted you on a crowded light rail train heading to Folsom. You had friendly eyes and a purple bandanna around your neck. When a seat cleared, I sat next to you. I tried to avoid looking at you, knowing I would blush and smile too much. I grasped my iPad firmly, determined to stay cool, when you reached out and began licking my fingers. It was disgusting and adorable. I began making kissy noises and fawning over you; scratching your ears, patting your head. You got off before I could ask for your name.

Me: excitable, clean-cut, blue jacket. Typically a cat person, but will make an exception.

You: small and compact, with black and white fur and ears that stuck out.

Advisor’s Take: Love this one. Nice touch with the “typically a cat person” line. There’s just something about animals wearing bandanas that drives me crazy, too. When I first read this, all I could think about was how much I hate transit and the weird people who use it. This has rejuvenated my view of hanging out with strangers.

Missed Connections: Tat’s All Folks

Tattoo Convention Fun – Need Female companion

Going to a great kick off party Thursday (2-7-2013) for the tattoo convention.

I cover entry, drinks, hotel etc.

You be hot female age 21 – 40 who loves to party.

If all works out, we can hit convention Friday and repeat that night.

Reply with stats, pics (nude not necessary, but I won’t say no) and number.

Advisor’s Take: NO! WRONG! Nude photos are always necessary! Jeez, what a first time John we have here. 21-40? At least he’s not picky about choosing his woman (he’ll take daughter or mother). But do they have to have tattoos? Those types of questions will keep me up all night!

Before someone gets on their high horse about how dirty guys can be, I will have the Sip Nation know that one of the more creatively dirty connections I came across was by a woman from Atlanta. I won’t reproduce it all here, but I’ll let you know that it has all the goodies: lumberjacks, T&A, a hotel room (downtown even!), cute whiskers, and a bucket of chicken! Oh, not to mention my favourite, “dranks”. You can read it here: Missed Connections: Tickled Taint

Drink #47: Tootsie Roll

1 oz Gianduia Chocolate Liqueur (a gift from Mrs. Sip to moi)
0.5 oz Orange Juice
Garnish with Tootsie Roll

So, how many shots does it take to get to the center of a liquor-induced nap? One, two, three, CRUNCH… okay, just bit into the shot glass. No time for a nap now, it’s off to the hospital for me!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoyed this shot and having the Tootsie Roll stir stick to snack on afterwards was a wonderful touch, if I don’t say so myself.

February 9 – Burt Reynolds

Posted on February 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Moustache Diving

Burt Reynolds – whose birthday is coming up on February 11 – has had quite the eclectic acting career, playing everything from a porn director (Boogie Nights) to an animated dog in a state of limbo (All Dogs Go to Heaven). Gotta say that Charlie B. Barkin is a wicked name for a puppy!

The mustachioed legend has been linked to a number of women throughout his life and can you blame them… the moustache rides alone would keep them coming back for more. Speaking of that ‘stache, there aren’t many guys out there whose push broom could rival his. I’m partial to the Magnum P.I. look, but Burt is a close second in my books.

Looking over his massive list of credits over the years, it’s interesting to note that Reynolds has had some of the greatest character names ever. In an episode of The Twilight Zone, he was Rocky Rhodes. Of course there’s one of his best known roles, The Bandit, in the Smokey and the Bandit franchise. And let’s not forget ‘Man Walking in front of Brewster and Lilah’ in the Kenny Rogers movie Six Pack.

Today we honour Mr. Reynolds, who has been suffering poor health as of late, and we wish him a very happy 77th birthday!

Drink #40: Burt Reynolds

0.75 oz Spiced Rum
0.75 Butterscotch Schnapps
Garnish with a moustache Burt would be proud of

While enjoying this shot, you must hold a finger under your nose to represent a moustache of your own… unless you have a legit caterpillar. That’s the rule. I don’t make them, but this is a rare directive that I’m happy to follow!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I thought it would be funny to garnish the shot with a mustache, but I’m not sure anymore whether that was a good idea. Perhaps if I had used a fuzzy mustache instead of a paper one, that would have worked better. Ah, regrets! The liquid tasted alright, but wasn’t amazing by any means.

February 2 – Groundhog’s Shadow

Posted on February 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

My Nightmare

In the 1993 movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray is forced to repeat the same day over and over again until he gets it right. Here’s a version of that same premise starring everybody’s favourite superhero, The Sip Advisor.

I’m awoken abruptly, voices coming through the thin walls of our resort hotel (I know, a resort hotel isn’t the best setting for a nightmare, but just wait, all will be explained). The clock reads 7:30am and I can never understand why people feel the need to have loud conversations that early in the morning. Seriously, when my wife and I wake up that early on the very rare occasion that we have to, it’s like we communicate in sign language. I motion that I’d like a little morning action, she shoots me down swiftly with a wave of her hand and I’m off to the bathroom to get ready for the day!

Next part of the nightmare: We get to the 24-hour buffet and every food item is out and the staff has no plans to replace them. There are rumours of a revolt, guests storming the kitchens to take whatever they can find. One basket of tortilla chips is brought out and the server is ambushed. I try to get my hands on at least one chip, but my efforts are fruitless. I walk away with multiple chips cuts and the salt stings my wounds. I suffer a black eye as well, as Mrs. Sip Advisor takes the opportunity to get a shot in, probably for all the attempts at morning fun over the years. She doesn’t understand that I would have shared the chip I was fighting for with her.

A news brief comes on the TV informing us that all kittens in the world have been eliminated, thanks to a new worldwide law passed by the pro-dog lobby (actually made up of famous dogs, including Lassie, the ghost of Old Yeller and Eddie from Frasier). I shed a tear, but the worst is yet to come. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: there could be something worse than no more kitties!?!?

So, no sleeping in, no food, and no kitties, but I’m still not panicking yet. I head over to the bar and, you guessed it, they are all out of liquor!!! There’s not a drop in the house. My pupils dilate, blood pressure rises and I go into fight or flight mode. I’m throwing bartenders into the nearby pool, smashing bottles over my head and squirting lemon and lime juice into guest’s eyes. It’s complete chaos as I go on my rampage.

Finally, I am subdued, thanks to a clubbing blow to the back of the head. When I wake up, it’s 7:30am again and the neighbours are yelling… or are they just having a normal conversation. It’s so hard to tell when you can’t understand what they’re saying.

I am released from the Groundhog Day cycle when I learn to embrace a world with no liquor, early wake-ups, a lack of buffet food and a kitten-less existence. That’s the real nightmare!

Drink #33: Groundhog’s Shadow Shot (a Sip Advisor original creation)

Pour a dollop of chocolate syrup at the bottom of the glass
Stick gummy bear (acting as gummy groundhog) in syrup
1.5 oz Galliano to fill glass

I tried finding a Groundhog Day-themed drink that already existed, but when none satisfied me, I made my own. Sounds like a euphemism for most people’s sex lives. The chocolate syrup is the earth, the groundhog’s home and the Galliano is the sun greeting the little critter, encouraging him to rise to the surface. The gummy bear is the tiny fella sticking his nose above ground to meet the brand new day.

Did he see his shadow, causing him to retreat to his underground dwelling and making humans believe they will have to suffer through six more weeks of winter? Or did he stay above the surface, signaling an early spring to come. With this shot, we’ll never really find out, so that means eternal winter… kind of like Game of Thrones! Awesome, drinking with Tyrion Lannister!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
Where to begin with breaking down this drink? I tried a couple different mixes and ways to get that damn gummy bear to look decent and kept on getting tripped up by various issues. The Galliano make-up of the shooter might have completely saved it.

January 26 – Flatliner

Posted on January 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tequila Playlist

It’s Saturday night and it’s time to get your drink on! But what will you listen to? You could listen to the sweet stylings of Jim Hughson on Hockey Night in Canada, as most Canadians do while getting plastered each Saturday night. Or, because I do love me some Zeppelin, you could listen to When The Levee Breaks while drinking quadruple vodkas (hmmm…on the other hand, maybe that’s just insensitive). Fear not, my little sippers. I’ve put together an all-tequila playlist for your exploits tonight, as we wrap up Tequila Week, here at The Sip Advisor.

First Shot: Tequila by The Champs

The party is just getting started, so drink up and be merry. Maybe even dance a little. Don’t enjoy that sax solo too much… it’s going to be a long night (or short, if you’re a lightweight!).

Second Shot: Tequila by A.L.T. and the Lost Civilization

Keeping things upbeat with this jam that samples the original. You gotta check out this tune as they try to include as many drink references as possible. Actually quite clever. It’s fun to listen to the song and keep track of how many drinks they mention that you’ve tried.

Fourth Shot: Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off by Joe Nichols

Oh yeeeeaaaaah! Things are swinging and apparently the Kool-Aid Man and the spirit of ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage dropped by at the same time. It looks like things are about to get turned up a notch or two (even though we’re already at 11 on the dial) and the ladies are starting to get funky… if only I wasn’t drinking alone! According to this song, apparently the best place to find loose women is at the Holiday Inn (just a note to all the fellas wasting their time with the whole online dating game).

Eighth Shot: Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett

You’re pretty smashed, but still feeling celebratory. It’s time to kick back and maybe even throw on a Hawaiian shirt. Groove to the tunes and enjoy your buzz, but be cautious… the liquor is planning a revolution.

Tenth Shot: On the Tequila by Alanis Morissette

How did an Alanis Morissette track slip by my mental censors… oh, that’s right, I drowned all those suckers a few drinks ago. It surely can’t get any better from this point on.

[I’ve lost count] Shot: Tequila Sunrise by The Eagles

Nice song to end the night, but things aren’t going so well internally. It might be time to put the bottle away? But it’s smiling at me and waving me over. Oh hell, what’s one more kiss?

Drink #26: Flatliner

0.75 oz Sambuca
0.75 oz Tequila (I used Olmeca Blanco)
Dash of Tabasco Sauce
Garnish with a jalapeno pepper slice

Because of the weights of the various alcohols, as well as the Tabasco Sauce, the two clear liquors should sit on top of each other, broken up by the red Tabasco flatline. It is important, of course, to use clear (blanco/silver) tequila for this to work. Special thanks to Mama and Papa Sip Advisor for lending me the tequila for today’s drink, as all I had available was gold, reposado and añejo varieties.

I should also advise that these bad boys burn on the way down. I made three, so we could photograph the Tabasco line at various levels and then had to down all of them when Mrs. Sip backed out of doing the one shot she had agreed to do. I refuse to let a single drop of liquor go to waste. Shame, Mrs. Sip… shame!

Sip Adviosr Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
The Flatliner is an exhibition in punishment. And I had to drink three of these in a row. It may taste disgusting, but it gets a passing grade because that’s exactly how it’s supposed to taste. Nobody is trying to fool you with this shot. It’s supposed to burn going down and it does. Just hope that it stays down.

January 19 – On the Cusp

Posted on January 19, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Birthday Bumps

It’s my wife’s birthday and after everything she does for me (and you readers – she is, after all, responsible for most of the photos that grace this site, as well as being my muse, my editor and sometimes my censor), I owe her a great deal of gratitude. Therefore, I decided to invent a shot to celebrate her big day (as if the brand new Daniel Sedin, Vancouver Canucks jersey and other surprises weren’t enough!), mixing a couple of her favourites together in this week’s shot.

I started with a thin layer of chocolate syrup that will make for a nice chaser to go with the rest of the recipe. Remember rule #1: girls love chocolate. Also, chocolate can represent the “earth” element of Capricorn or how Capricorns are supposed to be all grounded and practical or other such nonsense. Next up, when I first met my wife nearly 11 years ago, she was a massive coconut fan and still is. I believe one of the first hard alcohols she ever got into – as is the case with many 18-year-old girls – was Malibu Rum, so that was definitely going to be part of the shot. I followed that with some Chocolate Whipped Vodka because, once again, rule #1: girls love chocolate. Seriously, I have never met a woman that doesn’t love the sweet stuff. Even if a girl is allergic to chocolate, they will eat it to the point of needing an EpiPen. Finally we finish the concoction with Blue Curacao for no other reason than I think of the colour blue when I hear the word ‘Aquarius’. Decorate it all up a little with coconut shavings and there you have it, a beautiful birthday shot that you can say is homemade and earn extra brownie points to be cashed in when you’ve bestowed a handful or so of these onto the pretty lady!

And to think, I was originally thinking of making her a macaroni self-portrait… her loss!

Drink #19: On the Cusp

Rim glass with coconut shavings
Pour a thin layer of chocolate syrup into the shot glass
0.5 oz Malibu Rum
0.5 oz Chocolate Whipped Vodka
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Sprinkle some coconut shavings into the shot

If you would like me to create a shot for you or your partner, drop me a line, let me know what you or they like and I’ll do my best to come up with something.

P.S.: Tequila week starts tomorrow, so I better see everyone doing The Worm!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
This shot, a completely original recipe, might I add, was absolutely amazing. From the Coconut Rim, all the way through the spirits to the thin layer of Chocolate Syrup, the whole shebang was wonderful. Of course, I save only my best for Mrs. Sip!

January 12 – Have You Cinned?

Posted on January 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Super Saturday Shot Day #2 – Open Letter to My Liver

Dear Liver,

I am writing to inform you that I will soon be away at an all-inclusive resort. For me, this means a mixed week of relaxing and partying. For you, this means a long, arduous week of filtering toxins.

I know you have been working long hours recently, what with the holiday season just having passed and I know your regular work week is nothing to laugh about. I ask you to hold on and keep working through this busy time. You are a valued member of our team and your contributions to the success of our business have not gone unnoticed.

Remember, you’re not just any liver… you’re my liver. A well-conditioned athlete, who can achieve feats mere mortals can’t even comprehend.

You are a legend… an icon… the voice of your generation.

Now here’s a shot to get you all warmed up for the week to come!

Drink #12: Have You Cinned?

Rim glass with cinnamon/sugar mix
1.5 oz Tequila
Garnish with orange wedge

Felling better, friend? That’s my boy!

Sincerely,

Daniel

P.S.: I love you!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked the Cinnamon-Sugar rim, which combined with the Orange Wedge, made for a unique drink, in contrast with your typical Tequila shot. From this day forward, this will be my preferred way of shooting the spirit.

January 5 – Silk Panties with Lace

Posted on January 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Dirty Names

Is this what you were thinking when you searched the term that brought you to this site?

I’ve always found it funny that many shots have dirty names. Some would say the dirtier the better. Who are we kidding, I would normally say the dirtier the better! And what better day to post these shots than Saturday: the best day of the week, where you can sleep in, stay up late, enjoy a shot or 6, and not worry about the head shattering consequences until the next day. It’s a special I like to call, Super Saturday Shot Day!

As this blog is built, a major hurdle is apparently attracting viewers using “keywords” or “tags” or whatever you call these words that I highlight in different colours and my wife keeps bugging me to hyperlink. So… with posting shot names such as “silk panties” (and that’s one of the tamer names out there) I figure that I’ll naturally draw in those who really know how to appreciate the art and composition that is a fine shot when they are sitting alone in their room on a Saturday night (right? because that’s what guys sitting alone in their room search for on the internet).

I even tried the search, myself… you know, in the name of research. God bless Victoria’s Secret!

Anyhoo, without further ado, my first super shot is the “Silk Panties with Lace”, because who doesn’t enjoy indulging in a fine pair of panties or two on a Saturday night?

Shot #1: Silk Panties with Lace

Rim glass with sugar
3/4oz Raspberry Vodka or another vodka (plain or flavoured)
3/4oz Peach Schnapps
Garnish with lemon wedge

I’m guessing the sugar rim is the lace waistband at the top of the shot, while the liquors in the glass, particularly the silky peach schnapps would be the panties. I have no clue where the lemon fits into the whole analogy… well, I have a couple ideas, but I don’t want this post to be classified as erotic fiction.

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Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While I’d prefer to have the lingerie, the shot version of this title was enjoyable, too. Peach Schnapps and Raspberry Vodka seem like a wonderful match and a Sugar Rim is like having a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down!

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