November 15 – The Soprano

Posted on November 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Turn Down Service

For some actors, taking a TV role when you’re considered a movie star is a step down. That just provides an opportunity for another talent to step in, knock the performance out of the park and end up doing better in the long run than the one who originally turned his nose up at the project. Here are some examples of folks who passed up on TV glory (for whatever reason):

Ray Liotta as Tony Soprano (The Sopranos)

Ray Liotta, star of movies like Goodfellas, turned down the landmark role because he wanted to focus on movies. In the time he could have been playing the mobster, Liotta made numerous films, but nothing particularly memorable. Of course James Gandolfini took the role and ran with it… straight to three Emmy’s, which launched his own chance to enter the movie world before his untimely death earlier this year.

Tom Selleck as Mitch Buchannon (Baywatch)

Tom Selleck turned down the head lifeguard role, as he didn’t want to be a sex symbol… to which I’ve always said, “too late, Mr. Magnum!” Selleck’s role refusal did give David Hasselhoff and his German minions another chance to rejoice and without it, Hasselhoff’s infamous downward spiral might have gone unnoticed. Seriously, though, who hasn’t tried to eat a floor cheeseburger in a drunken stupor!?

Michael Richards as Adrian Monk (Monk)

Fresh off his stint as crazy neighbor Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld, Michael Richards was offered the role of obsessive compulsive disorder suffering detective Adrian Monk, but he wasn’t interested in the role. ABC let the show slip away to the USA Network, which cast Tony Shalhoub , who played the intricately troubled ex-cop perfectly. Richards instead went on a racial slur-laced rant at a comedy club and would probably pay for work now.

Craig T. Nelson as Jay Pritchett (Modern Family)

Craig T. Nelson hasn’t evaded the question of why he turned down a role on the wildly popular Modern Family. He is quoted as saying the money just wasn’t good enough. The former Coach star did go on to snag up the next patriarchal role to come his way on Parenthood, leaving the living legend, Al Bundy himself, Ed O’Neill to step in a lead the 21st century family… as well as cuddle up to Sofia Vergara!

Dana Delaney as Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

Ms. Delaney passed on the iconic role because she didn’t want to be in a show about sex… then why audition for a show called SEX and the City!? And really, what show doesn’t have some element of sex in it. Hell, even Sesame Street has toyed with the idea of Bert and Ernie being romantically involved! Sarah Jessica Parker took the part and became a cosmopolitan swigging female hero. Honestly, I don’t even know who Delaney is…

Thomas Jane as Don Draper (Mad Men)

I’ve already professed my hatred for Mad Men and apparently Thomas Jane, The Punisher, agrees with me! He didn’t think an intellectual show on a channel (AMC) known for movie reruns would work. You win some, you lose some. Jon Hamm stepped in and gets to drink tons of whiskey, while being lauded for an incredibly awful show. Some guys have all the luck.

Michael Keaton as Jack Shepard (Lost)

I’ve never watched Lost, but Ma and Pa Sip were die-hard fans. Apparently the character of Jack was supposed to not live past the pilot episode. When writers changed their plans, the former Batman backed out, thus avoiding the most confusing plot in television history and likely countless headaches from trying to get an understanding of what was going on!

Drink #319: The Soprano

1.5 oz Bourbon
1.5 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with an Orange Wheel

Well, that wraps up our look at those that have turned down TV roles. I myself have turned down a couple characters in my childhood acting days: Bud Bundy on Married with Children; Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell, and Alf on, well Alf. Think of the money I’ve missed out on…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Early this year, I made The Godfather cocktail. This is the Americanized version of said drink, with the use of Bourbon and Southern Comfort. I liked the recipe, but those who aren’t fans of strong, liquor-heavy beverages might want to avoid it. It wasn’t overly heavy, but it was pretty potent.

October 10 – Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Posted on October 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Cocktail Creations

There are some pretty interesting fictional cocktails out their in media land. I vow to try each and every one of them eventually. Here’s what made it to the top of the wishlist!

Flaming Homer/Moe – The Simpsons

When Homer Simpson is stuck at home with his terrible step-sisters and not a drop of beer to be found, he panics and puts together a cocktail made of all the booze he has left, accidentally adding some children’s cough medicine to the mix. Ash from one of his step-sister’s cigarettes lights the concoction on fire and makes it taste amazing. When Homer shares the recipe with bartender Moe Szyslak, Moe steals the drink and markets it as a Flaming Moe, gaining fame and fortune until Homer reveals the secret ingredient as revenge.

The Flaming Moe is actually served at Universal Studios: Florida… another reason to go back to that amazing park!

Screaming Viking – Cheers

When Cheers has one bartender too many, the regulars want to keep Woody Boyd on the job over newcomer Wayne. When Wayne bets his job against being able to make any drink ordered, the Cheers gang makes up this cocktail on the fly in order to throw Wayne off. Of course, it’s pretty hard to replicate a recipe that doesn’t exist. The drink has since been produced by a couple of bars with varying recipes. Unless it’s served while you’re saddled up between Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin, it just wouldn’t feel right.

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, the drink is described as “the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head” and it “is like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick”. The drink has been created in reality for stage productions of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and at bars around the world. Suggested recipes I was able to find largely just throw a ton of different boozes into the mix.

Green Russian – Archer

Absinthe and milk… a winning combination? Just think about it, you get your daily calcium nourishment, as well as an elixir meant to make you trip balls. This potent cocktail is the invention of Pam Poovey, director of human resources at the ISIS spy agency. Pam can often be seen walking around bars with her own personal booze chilling units, so it’s no surprise she is a liquor hound. She will even pour absinthe directly into a carton of milk! There are other Green Russian recipes available online, but I think Pam was on the right track with her rendition.

Kidney Killer – American Dad

Francine Smith was once a hard-partying girl along with her partner in crime Kelly Wilk. When Kelly comes back into Francine’s life, the two try to recreate their wild times, with Haley Smith insisting she can keep up with the women. Haley drinks the fabled Kidney Killer and winds up in need of a kidney that Francine can’t offer, herself a victim of the booze. There is a Kidney Killer recipe on the internet. It combines tequila and Southern Comfort into a shot glass. The jury’s out as to how many you need to drink to actually kill your kidney!

Thankstini – How I Met Your Mother

This martini of vodka, cranberry juice and a bouillion cube is perfect for celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday. It’s like having a home-cooked family meal in a cocktail glass. Inventor Barney Stinson has provided me with the perfect libation for upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations. All that’s missing is the turkey, potatoes and stuffing, but I’m working on it. Stinson also has drink suggestions for Christmas, Arbor Day, Independence Day, and Ramadan!

Drink #283: Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
1 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Orange Juice and half Sweet & Sour Mix
Splash of Grenadine
Garnish with Berries

Look forward to future posts about fictional companies, restaurants, sports teams, sodas, and just about anything else this old, battered mind can think up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Sadly, the tonic didn’t send Mrs. Sip and myself into the throes of passion (as it worked in the cartoon… let down by TV once again!). Despite that small discrepancy, this drink was pretty good. All the citrus and berry notes were very enjoyable and the liquors did their jobs, as well.

September 21 – What’s My Name Again?

Posted on September 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

30 for 30

While the title of today’s post is shared by the popular ESPN sports documentary series, I’m using it to describe 30 great achievements of my 30 years on this planet. This is kind of my bucket list of crossed off items… mission accomplished!

Family and Friends

1: Got Engaged – I’m still surprised she said yes!

2: Got Married – Again, I’m still surprised she said yes… I gave her a year and a half to change her mind!

3: Was a Best Man – Broski Sip got married in 2010 with me by his side.

4: Planned a Stag Party – Nothing says “I love you, man” than planning the perfect sendoff as your buddy enters married life.

Rites of Passage

5: Earned a Driver’s License – Been on the roads for 14 years now… Mrs. Sip still doesn’t have a full license!

6: Graduated High School – Some people didn’t see that coming!

7: Earned 4 Diplomas/Degrees/Certificates – I have quite the resume… anyone looking to hire!?

8: No More Picky Eater – Chicken strips and fries are pretty awesome, but lobster and escargot are better.

9: Moved Out – It was hard to leave the amazing home of Ma and Pa Sip, but living with Mrs. Sip has its own benefits!

Travel

10: Travelled to 34 Countries – Mrs. Sip will hit 50 countries before she turns 30, but I think I still made a pretty damn good dent.

11: Stepped foot on 6 Continents – I’m only missing Antarctica, which we hope to get to one day.

12: Lived Abroad – Spent six months living in England and travelling Europe.

13: Visited the Greatest Cities in the World – From London to St. Petersburg, Sydney to Los Angeles, the resume isn’t full yet, but I’ve been to so many cool places.

Academics

14: Made the Honour Roll – Got my shit together one year and made the honour roll twice… it never happened again.

15: Graduated with Honours – Always knew journalism and I were a match made in heaven!

Professional

16: Became Published – My first article ever (aside from online and school writing) was for B.C. Hockey Now.

17: Covered the Vancouver Canucks (NHL) and B.C. Lions (CFL) – The two biggest sports franchises in Vancouver and I got to watch both for free!

18: Worked the 2010 Winter Olympics – NBC Universal Sports hired me for the Games, a goal of mine when I first entered journalism school.

19: Made Money Doing What I Love – Watching sports for a job just doesn’t get much better… perhaps getting paid to have sex!?

20: Started The Sip Advisor – I was thirsty (literally!) for a new project when Mrs. Sip suggested The Sip Advisor. Here we are and I’m pretty sure everyone is having a good time!

Adventure/Crazy

21: Tried a Number of Extreme Sports – Bungy jumping, ziplining, zorbing, luging, surfing, scuba diving… I’ve tried them all!

22: Saw my Favourite Comedians Perform – From Christopher Titus to Daniel Tosh, I’ve seen all of the living comedians I ever wanted to.

23: Won Money in Las Vegas – I’m too cautious to lose or win a lot of money, but I did come home up on one trip and that’s more than a lot of people can say.

24: Won Money at the Races – My last trip to Fraser Downs resulted in six winning bets on nine races, including picking three winners straight up!

25: Hosted an Annual Event – My annual Beer Pong tournament is a highlight of the summer social calendar.

26: Invented a Word – Walk Blocking – like cock blocking, but everyone can do it!

27: Became an Internet Sensation – And the journey has only just begun!

28: Swam Across a Body of Water – I joined Mrs. Sip for a crossing of the water outside our lodge in Indian Arm, B.C. It took us 45 minutes round trip to make the journey.

29: Shot a Gun – Cousin Sip and I hit one of the many ranges in Las Vegas to help cross this off the list.

30: Sang Karaoke – Not well, but Mrs. Sip and I do perform a rocking version of ‘I Hate Everything About You’!

Drink #264: What’s My Name Again?

0.3 oz Spiced Rum (I used Kraken)
0.3 oz Southern Comfort
0.3 oz Peach Schnapps
0.3 oz Goldschlager
0.3 oz Vodka
Garnish with a Lemon Slice

There are still so many things left to do (get a tattoo, touch a snake, go skydiving, drink motor oil!) that the next 30 years should be just as adventurous as the first 30. Any suggestions!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot finishes Rum Week and the story goes that if you have enough of these, you’ll forget your own name! While it is a rather potent shooter, it’s also very tasty, helped along by the Peach Schnapps, Southern Comfort, and Goldschlager. I’ll have to try their little dare sometime and see how long it takes for the ol’ mind to go blank! Let’s drink to my successes and excesses!

September 11 – Euthanasia

Posted on September 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Nicknamed

I bet you’re wondering how I got from euthanasia to nicknames. There is a method to my madness, or perhaps more aptly called alcoholness. Famous ‘right to die’ activist Dr. Jack Kevorkian earned the moniker of Dr. Death, having assisted in the suicide of numerous terminally ill patients. That’s a pretty wicked nickname, regardless of how he came to have it. Perhaps it worked better for wrestler Steve Williams, whose physical style and impressively dangerous move set earned him the same handle. Here are some other nicknames that rule:

Stu Grimson – The Grim Reaper

This one is almost too perfect to be true. What do you name a hockey enforcer with a last name that has “Grim” in it? Why, The Grim Reaper naturally! Grimson pounded his way to 2,113 penalty minutes in a career that spanned 729 games. Perhaps most impressive is that Grimson went on to earn a law degree and practices in Nashville, Tennessee where he presumably continues to bash his opponents in the courtroom.

Gordie Howe – Mr. Hockey

Doesn’t that say respect! Mr. Hockey, Gordie Howe, played an unbelievable 32 seasons of the game (split between the NHL and WHA) playing from the age of 18 until he finally retired at 52. When he left the game, the record books were largely dedicated to his successes and he is the epitome of a hockey player: tough, talented, humble, and awesome.

Madonna – Material Girl

I searched far and wide for a female to include in this article and sadly Madonna was the best I could come up with. Madge earned this moniker thanks to her 1984 hit ‘Material Girl’. Interestingly, Madonna has stated this is the song she regrets recording the most because of how the name stuck with her, despite the video being about her character rejecting diamonds and money.

Johnny Cash – The Man in Black

The legendary musician earned his nickname because of the dark clothing he usually wore for his performances (a contrast to other country stars of the time), explaining his dress in the song ‘Man in Black’: “We’re doing mighty fine I do suppose; In our streak of lightning cars and fancy clothes; But just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back; Up front there ought to be a man in black.”

Wicked… Johnny Cash was a fan of kitties, just like the Sip Advisor!

Frank Sinatra – Chairman of the Board

Which board he was the Chairman of is up for debate, but one would have to assume it involved boozing, partying, entertaining, and having non-stop fun with your best pals. Sinatra could chair any board that I had a direct association with and I’d be more than happy to have him as a leader. Hopefully Dean and Sammy were members also and we’d get blitzed at every meeting!

Elvis Presley – The King

They didn’t even need to say what he was “The King” of, everybody just knew. Elvis was considered entertainment royalty, with thriving music and movie careers. He was the type of guy men wanted to be and women wanted to be with. Despite passing away in 1977, it could be argued that Elvis is even more popular now than he was as an active performer.

Drink #254: Euthanasia

1 oz Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey
1 oz Southern Comfort
Top with Beer (I used Corona)
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

What have I missed? Who have I left out that you feel so incensed about; you want to leap through your computer screen and track me down? I am a simple comment away and you’ll never forget my nickname… Sip Advisor out!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I had high hopes for this beer cocktail recipe and was sadly let down. There just wasn’t much going on with the mix other than a lingering taste of the Honey Whiskey. The recipe calls for Southern Comfort Peach Liqueur, which I’ve unfortunately never seen before. To spice things up, however, I did use Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey instead of the regular stuff. The drink also calls for each ingredient to be used equally (4 oz per), but that just seems wasteful to me, so I dropped the increments. I used a lighter beer in Corona, so as to let the liquors come through stronger.

September 7 – Jelly Bean

Posted on September 7, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Meme-orization

Today marks drink #250 and as we’ve done every time we hit the half-century mark, the Sip Advisor presents to you a smattering of hilarious alcohol-fueled memes!

Some people will never be good cooks, but so long as there’s beer nearby, men and women alike will never go without sustenance. There’s nothing wrong with the odd liquid dinner. I’d say I go liquid only four to five times a week. I do follow that up, though, with a dessert of burgers, hot dogs, and pizza, so everything works out in the end!

Is there a better place to drink than on a patio? Well, perhaps in your underwear on your favourite couch, but patios are a close second! Mrs. Sip and I love to find a nice little spot where we can be one with the outdoors, while sharing good times with friends, family, and liquor. That’s about as outdoorsy as we get, preferring all the comforts the indoors have to offer.

One day, when the world goes to hell (even more so than it already has), there will be an epic battle between the forces of good and evil. On one side, will be all us boozers. On the other side, will be the people who think so highly of themselves that they look down upon all the people that are actually enjoying life. The winners will inherit the earth and providing we’re not too busy nursing a hangover, my money is on us!

I’ve found my short-term memory to be absolutely horrible lately. Whether that is the result of age or all the drinking I do… where was I going with this!? In all seriousness, I’m not too worried about my short term memory being unreliable. As long as I can remember all the important stuff, like my name and such, I don’t necessarily see a reason for all that other junk.

This is a fantastic question Mr. Dinosaur. This is something we could debate for hours on end (and I look forward to our next conversation) but ultimately, the results are the same. Regardless of where you are, you’re going to spend stupidly on things you technically don’t need, but they’ll be a pleasure to have while it’s there!

Red Solo Cups are perhaps the greatest party tool ever invented. I never really knew that they were designed to give users an idea of measurements until I saw this meme and that makes them all the more amazing. What if you used the cup to make a layered drink of each listed alcohol and filled it to the proper line. A beer, wine, liquor combo. I’m going to have to give that a try sometime!

Drink #250: Jelly Bean

Rim glass with Jelly Beans
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Sambuca
0.5 oz Blackcurrant Liqueur

250 drinks is quite the milestone. Have you enjoyed the ride so far?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The shooter actually does taste like a Jelly Bean, so that was a pleasant surprise. If you don’t have a Blackberry or Blackcurrant Liqueur, you can always sub Grenadine in its place. The Jelly Bean rim was a bit of a pain to put together because I wasn’t able to pick up the exact Jelly Beans I had envisioned for this shot, but it came together well enough, with the assistance of Mrs. Sip!

July 29 – Bloody Roadrunner

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Crime & Punishment

Throughout history, we have been introduced to many evil characters (real and fictional). Some of these folks have paid greatly for their misdeeds, but some have not received their comeuppance. Here are a few most people would like to see get theirs:

The Roadrunner – Looney Tunes

This drink’s namesake has always gotten the best of Wile E. Coyote, which saddens me because I’m a staunch supporter of the coyote. Granted, it’s funny to see the poor guy constantly falling off cliffs and having massive desert rocks crush him, but I know we’d all love to see The Roadrunner get caught and turned into Roadrunner Stew. Beep, beep that you little bastard!

Tweety Bird – Looney Tunes

Similar to The Roadrunner, Tweety Bird is the bane of Sylvester the Cat’s existence. Poor Sylvester just can’t seem to catch that bird and the end result is another smattering of Band-Aids to heal all of Sylvester’s wounds. My feline sidekick Furious B. (aka Bam Bam… that’s right, my cat is so epic he has two names) is a bird catching expert, often leaving little presents for Ma and Pa Sip. Perhaps he could lend some advice to Sylvester and together they could eradicate the bird population.

Joffrey Baratheon – Game of Thrones

I’m sure it’s eventually coming, but I can’t wait to see this little brat get knocked down a few thousand pegs. Hell, throw in his mother and grandfather and let them all get treated to some revenge best served cold. It will be a complete pleasure to see this little psychopath meet his maker. The only question is, who will be the one to get to him? There’s already a long and growing list of potential vindicators!

Wrestling Heel – All Promotions

The history of professional wrestling has been filled with dastardly bad guys, who cheat and coward their way to the top. All you want to see is them get locked in a steel cage and get their ass handed to them on a silver platter, courtesy of the heroic good guy who just can’t take the injustice anymore. Some of the best in history include Triple H, Ric Flair, Edge, Ted DiBiase, and even WWE chairman Vince McMahon.

Brad Marchand – Boston Bruins

While I don’t wish anything bad on most hockey players, there is one I wouldn’t mind hearing had post-concussion issues and that is the reigning rat king of the NHL, Brad Marchand. He is a talented player, but he’s also dirty and much like the rest of his team, gets away with more than most players are able to. The way he repeatedly punched Daniel Sedin during the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals – and got away with it – was disgusting.

The Governor – The Walking Dead

While The Governor has suffered his own share of tragedy, much like the rest of the survivors in AMC’s Zombie infested world, his sneaky, vile behavior begs that he receives even more misfortune. And you can bet Rick and company will deliver. All we have to do is wait for Season 4 to kick-off and revenge plans should be in motion. Sadly, The Governor’s remaining troops might eliminate a few more of the good guys before it’s all said and done.

Nurse Ratched – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

This evil woman is the domineering presence reigning over the mental institution in which Randle McMurphy finds himself sent to. Nurse Ratched is responsible for the lobotomy of McMurphy, which renders him useless, after he continued to defy her authority despite shock therapy and other punishments. Granted McMurphy nearly choked Ratched to death (after she caused the suicide of a young, frightened patient) and caused her injury to her neck and vocal cord, but she never truly faces retribution for her abuse of power and patients.

Drink #210: Bloody Roadrunner

1.5 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Sports Drink and half Fruit Punch
Garnish with Raspberries

Unfortunately, we may never see some of these people get their comeuppance. We are allowed to dream, however, and dream we shall!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a tasty cocktail, but could use something in the form of bubbles to give it a little more zest. Otherwise, it goes down a little too easy like juice or iced tea.

June 29 – Seven Deadly Sins

Posted on June 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sin-tillating

The Seven Deadly Sins have always fascinated me. I have one problem with them though. Looking back, I know I’ve broken each and every one of them and I’m still kicking ass. Here’s how I’ve broken all the rules (and lived to tell about it)!

Lust

Have you seen Mrs. Sip? How could you NOT lust over this gorgeous creature? Perhaps I haven’t been busted for this sin because my advances are often rebuffed. It kind of makes sense. She can’t just give it away for free… or so I’ve been told. Similarly, sometimes I pass by a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself. Unlike Narcissus, I’m able to pull myself away from this godly image for happy hours!

Greed

If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d have more time to be greedy. That said, I do find great pleasure in my possessions, notably my prized muddler, cocktail shaker and jigger. Some of my favoruite characters are the type who have everything and would be hard to buy gifts for, including Scrooge McDuck, Iron Man, and the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

Envy

I get jealous every time I walk into a bar and see their liquor collection. While my cabinet is nothing short of amazing, I would love to have all the different flavours at my disposal that most lounges have. I’ll get there one day, but it seems every time I add a couple bottles, I run out of other spirits. It’s a constant vicious circle which I plan to eventually conquer.

Gluttony

I am prone to the occasional feast, usually centered on chips and cookies as main courses! Then, in reverse order, we follow up with starters of pulled pork, hot dogs, burgers, and a menagerie of side dishes. Dessert still finishes the meal and is comprised of a complete ice cream sundae bar, with a million toppings, like crushed chocolate bars, cookie bits, syrups and, of course, sprinkles!

Sloth

Let’s look at my daily schedule: wake up, watch TV, drink, take a nap, drink some more, order food to be delivered, watch more TV, go to bed. Yup, seems like I can check off this sin, as well. It gets a little sad when you end up making an indentation in your favourite couch spot. This is as close to marking your territory as a human should get though, so we should all let it slide.

Wrath

Hell hath no fury like the Sip Advisor scorned… in general, I’m like the Ned Flanders of the liquor world, letting folks walk all over me. But just like when ol’ Neddy finally hit his breaking point and snapped in epic proportions, I’ve been known to spontaneously combust and when that occurs, look out. Richter scale readings have been registered when I boil over and go boom.

Pride

I can be a very boastful person… you have to be when you’re a blog entrepreneur. I have no problem annoying Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets with my posts and advertising this wonderful site that has brought so much pleasure to me and perhaps even to one or two others. If you have a problem with this, I’d like to see you stop me!

Drink #180: Seven Deadly Sins

0.25 oz Southern Comfort
0.25 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
0.25 oz Sambuca
0.25 oz Blue Curacao
0.25 oz Kahlua
0.25 oz Grenadine

As it says in my mixology app, the seventh sin is drinking the shot… well, consider that done!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Layer the ingredients in order from the bottom to the top. I thought this shot tasted really good, with a slight burn, but nothing too extreme. The layering of spirits worked out reasonably well, although some of the colours blended together, like the Kahlua and Blue Curacao. You can’t win ’em all!

June 15 – Carpet Licker

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Regionals

The world is littered with wonderful wine regions, where fans of the grape can pilgrimage to and get blasted winery-hopping style. While wine is far from my favourite libation, I do like to get travel wasted and visiting a winery provides some of the greatest surroundings for doing so. Here are some of the best stops to hit if you’re a connoisseur of reds and whites (and pinks, I suppose!):

Barossa Valley – Australia

This was a fun little wine tour Mrs. Sip and I did while visiting Adelaide, Australia. As good as the wine and scenery was, what I will always remember most from the tour was our picnic-style lunch, where the main course was barbecued kangaroo, marinated in red wine. I never thought kangaroo meat could be so delicious. I gorged myself on the delicacy, as well as the rest of the lunch, probably facilitated by the copious wine samples we had already enjoyed up to that point.

Okanagan Valley – British Columbia

Mrs. Sip just got back from visiting the Okanagan wine region on a stagette and if the 13 new bottles taking up space in my liquor racks is any indication, she had a good time and found some wines she really enjoyed. Heck, rumour has it Cousin Sip brought back 30 bottles of grape goodness after this 2 day trip!

Champagne/Beaujolais – France

Champagne was another wine excursion enjoyed by Mrs. Sip, minus your faithful Sip Advisor. How do I let her get away with this desertion!? While there, she sampled the wines and champagnes the region is renowned for. We were together for a brief stop in Beaujolais, where we climbed to the “Top of the World” and had a wine and picnic lunch before staying the night at a Beaujolais winery property.

Hood River – Oregon

On a weekend away with family, we hit a number of stops criss-crossing the Washington-Oregon border. We had a convoy of vehicles stopping at each business and it was fun to roll through a tasting with such a large, increasingly boisterous group. Our favourite stop was probably the Maryhill Winery, home to a summer concert series, and where guest can even hop into a tub and stomp some grapes.

Columbia Cascade – Washington

On yet another wine tour (damn, we go on a lot of these!), Mrs. Sip and I, along with Cousin Sip and her husband braved the oncoming winter to sample a number of wines in the Cascade area. The last stop of our tour was the Bavarian-themed town of Leavenworth, where the main drag houses many underground wine tasting options. Getting Mrs. Sip and Cousin Sip back on the bus was far from easy for us guys.

Napa Valley & Sonoma Valley – California

Over the years, I’ve enjoyed many California wines, but never had the chance to visit any of the winery regions the state is home to. While Mrs. Sip and I enjoyed a wonderful and quite memorable wine tasting in San Francisco (see Bay Breeze), we have never had the time to do a tour of the Napa or Sonoma Valleys. It is on our Bucket List to do together, we just need to be in the area for longing than a cruise port stop.

Santorini – Greece

The last stop as part of a tour exploring the island was visiting the Wine Museum of Santorini and Koutsoyannopoulos Winery. How do I remember such a crazy long Grecian name, you ask? Well, you see, Mrs. Sip has (or at least had) this little habit of “collecting” souvenirs from her travels. On this occasion, she wanted a glass from the little winery and to make a long story short, she got it!

Monticello – Virginia

While visiting Washington, D.C., our hosts took us out of the American capital to Virginia, specifically Monticello, where we had access to numerous wines and enjoyed a nice picnic lunch on the storied grounds of the winery surrounded by 19th century plantation ruins. Later, we ventured to the home of Thomas Jefferson, where unfortunately, no wine was served, which would have been a great tribute to the former president.

Drink #166: Carpet Licker

1 oz White Wine
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur (I used Watermelon Pucker)
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Dr. Pepper
Top with Whipped Cream
Garnish with Sprinkles

I’m sure I’m missing some of the best wine regions, but I wanted to focus on areas we’ve actually visited or plan to visit in the very near future. Have any suggestions for a future getaway? Feel free to give us your best Lonely Planet review.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I thought this shot tasted fantastic, especially with my substitution of Watermelon Pucker for Melon Liqueur… I just had a feeling. The presentation is spectacular which certainly justifies the high score. The shooter ingredients and measurements are enough for two servings, so share the love!

May 4 – A.S.S.

Posted on May 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Face Pas

They all get on our nerves, but sometimes we don’t have the fortitude to call out our so-called friends of “The Book of Face” and say something about their online behaviour. That is, until your faithful Sip Advisor takes the ball and decides to blow the internet up. Let’s see how many Facebook friends I lose (probably for the better) after this post! Without further ado, the Top 10 Worst “Face Pas”:

1) Vague-Booking

We all have those Facebook friends who write cryptic statuses, just begging for people’s attention to ask for more details. You know the person who writes statuses such as: “Can’t believe this happened to me!” or “Just received the best, most awesomeness, news EVER!” The worst is when these mundane, vague-book statuses actually snag a fish and the person still doesn’t divulge the story behind the status. Be upfront; tell us what’s really going on in your life… or don’t. It’s probably pretty boring anyways. Don’t share, but not share… that’s such a waste of both of our time.

2) Excessive Countdowns

You want to tell us that you leave for vacation in a week, that’s cool. You want to tell us that it’s six months, five days, two hours, and three minutes until you get married and then remind us every single day from that point until your wedding… I hope your fiancé leaves you.

3) Weather Updates

Readers are well familiar with my contempt for weather analysts so I just love it when someone on Facebook wants to not only tell me about the conditions I can see by opening my own window, but also their personal feelings on it. You don’t even have the excuse that you get paid to provide this information, but please continue to feel the need to tell the world that it’s raining and that it makes you really, really sad.

4) Liking Everything

I know people out there want to show their support for family and friends, but if you like absolutely everything, it kind of weakens the power of your likes. People should have limits on their daily likes and then you’d really have to think about things before you clicked the thumbs up. Even if that were the case, I would still go around liking my own statuses before anyone else’s.

5) TMI

You got another yeast infection… um, yay? Here’s an idea: tell a doctor, instead of the entire online world.

6) I’m Sick 😦

In a similar vein, I’m tired of people who go onto Facebook just to let the world know that they have a serious case of the sniffles, unless you can do it in a way that is clever and will entertain me. If you’re not feeling that well, get some rest. Don’t waste your time facestalking the random people you haven’t seen since high school and fishing for sympathy.

7) Fake Relationship Updates

I’m really not a fan of the people out there that change their Facebook relationship status just to get a rise out of their friends and family or even their partner. I’ve had three relationship statuses throughout my six years as a member of the site. “In a relationship with,” “Engaged to,” and “Married to.” Granted, I’m one of the lucky ones, but if you’re not married, don’t act like you are, and if you are in a relationship, don’t act like you aren’t. If you’re still together, why change your status to “It’s complicated”? You only inspire other losers to follow suit.

8) RSVPs

This one is really quite simple. If someone is inviting you to something via Facebook, have the respect to say, one way or the other, whether you will be attending or not, especially when it’s a smaller event. If you can’t be bothered to take the 3 seconds to RSVP, then don’t expect your host to take the hours to shop, prep, and accommodate you when you later show up unannounced to said event. Also I can’t help but notice that the people who often do not state whether they are attending or not attending, are the type who never host events themselves.

9) Self-Taken Photos

This one is really simple: if there’s no one around to take the photo for you, it’s probably a photo that doesn’t need to be taken. Selfies in mirrors of baby bumps are the worst violators of this. Every time I see one, I always just assume that the person is either a single mom or her partner just doesn’t care enough about the growing alien inside her to take 5 seconds to snap a decent photo.

This brotha’s got some game! What’s with the shower cap and shades, though?

10) Odd Facebook Names

I can understand when people make small tweaks to their given name for privacy purposes, but if you completely invent a new name for yourself, how is anybody supposed to know who you are? I can’t count the number of times someone has popped up in my feed and I’ve had to question who that person is. It usually drives me to want to drop the person from my friend list.

And finally, the absolute worst Facebook infraction known to mankind is…

Constantly advertising your blog! Thank you and goodnight… I’m here all week!

Drink #124: A.S.S.

0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Sweet and Sour Mix

One last note, you should also be careful with who you delete from your Facebook account. Relative strangers? Sure, go ahead and axe them. Deleting your entire set of in-laws when you’ll be stuck with them for a cruise ship wedding (and the rest of your married life), one month before said ceremony… probably not the best idea, but this world run amuck with idiots!

Did I forget something? Let me know!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This shot combines three of my favourite ingredients and goes down super easy. You could go through a lot of these in a night and you might not even get that trashed… perfect for entertaining!

April 16 – Alabama Slammer

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Locked Up

I’ve never been to jail… but I’m willing to bet that it would be fun. If TV and movies have taught me anything (they haven’t), it’s that I’d be able to keep quite active by joining football, basketball, and baseball teams to compete against the guards. When you factor in running from scary inmates – a form of dodge ball – and all the weight lifting I could do, I’m pretty sure that I would be in the best shape of my life! There’s also the lifelong (til death penalty do us part) friendships I would make. So based on my vast television watching experience and the one time I had a run in with “the fuzz”, which almost resulted in a speeding ticket, here are my tips for surviving the slammer:

1) Getting acquainted with your bunk mate

You’re new to the place and really have no right to claim top bunk. If the dude you’re stuck with has already claimed that spot, guess what… you’re bottoms, boieeeee! Better get comfortable, brotha, you might be there a while.

2) Picking a gang

While you could try to fly solo in the clink, it’s probably best that you align yourself with similar-minded people. If the Mighty Ducks movies have taught us anything, it’s prudent of you to go into a flying-V formation, while shouting “quack, quack, quack”. Not only will that show other gangs that you are a united front, but also that your clique has some serious mental instability and is not to be messed with.

3) Making a shiv/shank

No matter how protected you might be thanks to the crew that has adopted you, having a readymade weapon in case of any brouhaha would be quite beneficial. My suggestion is to try and fashion some sort of makeshift gun. Your fellow prisoners will never know what hit them!

4) Earning a reputation

You don’t have to be the tough guy in your cell block, but if you bring something unique to the table, you might be able to slip under the radar for your extended stay. Morgan Freeman (The Shawshank Redemption) was known as the guy who could procure things… Clint Eastwood (Escape from Alcatraz) had only one passion: to escape from prison… Burt Reynolds (The Longest Yard) liked playing football… and Sean Penn (Dead Man Walking) had a thing for lethal injections.

5) Getting drunk

You will miss things you once knew and loved in the outside world. But just because you’re locked up doesn’t mean you can’t have some of those things, even if it is at a lower-graded experience. I have a wonderful recipe for toilet wine. If you’d like the details, please send your credit information to me. See, this is how I got into trouble in the first place.

6) Finding God

I heard that this often happens in jails, which could be good if, like me, you haven’t managed (or gotten around to) finding him, her, or it “on the outside”. And who knows, you may even manage to turn your whole spiritual discovery into a profit, just like George Bluth did with his infomercial promoting his video series “Caged Wisdom”.

If all else fails, the consumption of toilet wine often leads to self-discovery of prayer to the porcelain god as you return your elixir to where it once came from…

Now let’s enjoy something much better than toilet wine!

Drink #106: Alabama Slammer

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Orange Juice
Splash of Grenadine
Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Garnish with an Orange Slice and a Maraschino Cherry

Really, if I was sent to prison, I’d probably just do a ton of napping. I’d probably be known as the ‘cat guy’… that is until someone tried to chase my tail and got scratched for doing so!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
It had been a couple years since my last Alabama Slammer and I was quickly reminded of how enjoyable this drink is. I’ve seen other versions of this recipe, but this is the one I was able to pull off with the ingredients I had. Sloe Gin would have been a nice touch, but it just can’t be found in Canada.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Tag Archives: Southern Comfort