Barbados – Mango Crème Pie

Caribbean Queen

Well, this site has hit a new low (a near weekly occurrence, though!)… I never thought I’d write an article about pop star Rihanna, but here we find ourselves on the beautiful beaches of Barbados and she just happens to be one of the biggest things to ever come from the island country. Let’s take a look at her story:

Rihanna began singing at the age of seven and her career was launched when she signed with rapper Jay-Z’s Def Jam Records (to a six-record deal, no less). It wasn’t until her third album Good Girl Gone Bad, featuring the track ‘Umbrella’ that things really took off for the artist. Since then, Rihanna has worked with some of music’s biggest names, including Eminem, Kanye West, Coldplay, and, of course, Jay-Z. Her other hits include ‘Take a Bow,’ ‘Disturbia,’ ‘Only Girl (In the World),’ ‘We Found Love,’ ‘Diamonds,’ and ‘Stay.’

Rihanna Umbrella

Ironically, Rihanna had to ban people from bringing umbrellas to her concerts, afraid that fans would try to impersonate her dance moves with the rain deflectors and wind up injuring fellow concert-goers. It is for these same reasons that I banned people from bringing cocktail shakers into my performances. Nobody knows how to make love to a shaker like the Sip Advisor!

In an industry run amuck with nicknames, Rihanna is no different. Her monikers include RiRi, the Barbados Babe, Caribbean Queen, and even Rihanna… that’s because the singer’s real name is Robyn Fenty and her middle name has become her stage name. I wonder if the same goes for Madonna, Bono, Sting, and the list goes on and on. Speaking of Madonna, Rihanna has referenced the ‘Material Girl’ as her idol, going so far as to say that she wants to be the “Black Madonna”. Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, and the late Aaliyah, among others, have also influenced the Barbadian.

Rihanna has taken home seven Grammy Awards, eight American Music Awards, 22 Billboard Music Awards (these must be easier to get), and two BRIT Awards. Her worldwide sales total 30 million albums and 120 million singles. She has enjoyed 13 chart-topping songs and has seen her name on lists like Forbes’ Most Powerful Celebrities and TIME’s 100 Most Influential People in the World.

This year, Rihanna will receive a Fashion Icon lifetime achievement award from the Council of Fashion Designers of America. The girl is only 26 and she’s already being handed lifetime achievements. Damn, the fashion world is so ridiculous. Chew’em up and spit’em out before they’re 30… that’s a lifetime in fashion.

rihanna no hugs

I won’t go into details about the elephant in the room; Rihanna’s assault at the hands of Chris Brown, as that loser doesn’t deserve any attention from this site. All I’ll write, is that this wasn’t the first time her life was tumultuous. Growing up, her father was addicted to cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol and her parents rocky relationship ended in divorce when she was 14. Rihanna was an army cadet growing up, with fellow performer Shontelle as her drill sergeant, but dropped out of school before graduating to pursue her musical career.

Not solely devoted to the music world, Rihanna has appeared in four movies, including Bring it On: All or Nothing; Battleship; This is the End; and Home (an animated film to be released later this year). For her role as Petty Officer Cora Raikes in Battleship, Rihanna was bestowed both a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actress and a Teen Choice Award, proving that adolescents today are idiots.

The sex symbol has also appeared on the cover of a number of publications, most notably, Maxim, FHM, Rolling Stone, and GQ has been romantically linked to baseball player Matt Kemp, as well as rapper Drake. Despite the magazine appearances, she has turned down offers to pose for Playboy on several occasions.

Following in the footsteps of other bombshells, Rihanna has unleashed a few fragrances upon the world. Her scents include ‘Reb’l Fleur’ (2011), ‘Rebelle’ (2012), ‘Nude’ (2012), and ‘Rogue’ (2013). MAC Cosmetics also released a Rihanna line of makeup dubbed ‘RiRi hearts MAC’ (begging the question: who comes up with all these shitty names!?).

rihanna-sideshow-bob

And somehow she still became a fashion icon!

 

Rihanna’s Believe Foundation was created to help terminally ill children. The charity also provides medical supplies, school supplies, and toys to kids in need.

For the fans of inked girls out there, Rihanna offers a number of tattoo options. The list actually seems almost endless, but working our way from head to foot: Pisces sign behind right ear; star in left ear; a trail of stars down her neck, as well as a rebelle fleur; the date 4/11/1986 in roman numerals on her left shoulder; “Never a Failure, Always a Lesson” on her right shoulder; a cross on her collar bone; “Freedom in Messiah” and a handgun on her ribs; a Sanskrit prayer on her hip; a goddess Isis on her stomach; a henna-style dragon claw on her hand; “Love” on her left middle finger; “Shhh…” on her right index finger; “Thug Life” on her knuckles; a skull with a pink hair bow on the back of her foot; a gun-shaped Egyptian falcon on her right foot; and music note on her ankle. I think I covered them all, but now I’m out of breath!

Rihanna’s 777 Tour featured the artist performing seven shows, in seven countries, over seven days.

rihanna-xmas-card

After winning Gillette’s Venus Breeze ‘Celebrity Legs of a Goddess’ Award in 2007, Rihanna promptly insured her gams for $1 million. That same year, she was named the official face of Barbados tourism and holds the title of Ambassador for Culture and Youth. The home country accolades continued to roll in for Rihanna in 2008 when a national holiday was created in her honour. She responded with a free concert for her country folk.

In 2013, Rihanna joined some prestigious company when she had a UK Singles Chart number one for the seventh consecutive year. The others to achieve the feat were Elvis Presley and The Beatles. She is also tied for third most number one singles (13) on the Billboard Hot 100 with Michael Jackson.

Barbados: Mango Crème Pie

Mango Creme Pie Martini

  • 1.5 oz Mango Rum
  • Top with Pineapple Juice
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Splash of Whip Cream
  • Garnish with Whip Creamed Lime Wedge

This wraps up the TMZ edition of The Sip Advisor. Before this article, I could probably only name a couple songs by Rihanna or featuring Rihanna… and I’m thankful to say that fact remains true! Nothing against the pop princess, but it’s just not my type of music.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This was a tasty, light martini that provided a rare occasion to appreciate Pineapple Juice. It wasn’t too sweet, which I was worried about going into the drink. The Whip Cream dollop on top of the Lime Wedge was fun and unique. The recipe I read says you should float the Lime Wedge, but when I tried that, it just sank into the cocktail. Perhaps a thin lime wheel would have been more suitable.

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September 11 – Euthanasia

Nicknamed

I bet you’re wondering how I got from euthanasia to nicknames. There is a method to my madness, or perhaps more aptly called alcoholness. Famous ‘right to die’ activist Dr. Jack Kevorkian earned the moniker of Dr. Death, having assisted in the suicide of numerous terminally ill patients. That’s a pretty wicked nickname, regardless of how he came to have it. Perhaps it worked better for wrestler Steve Williams, whose physical style and impressively dangerous move set earned him the same handle. Here are some other nicknames that rule:

Stu Grimson – The Grim Reaper

This one is almost too perfect to be true. What do you name a hockey enforcer with a last name that has “Grim” in it? Why, The Grim Reaper naturally! Grimson pounded his way to 2,113 penalty minutes in a career that spanned 729 games. Perhaps most impressive is that Grimson went on to earn a law degree and practices in Nashville, Tennessee where he presumably continues to bash his opponents in the courtroom.

Gordie Howe – Mr. Hockey

Doesn’t that say respect! Mr. Hockey, Gordie Howe, played an unbelievable 32 seasons of the game (split between the NHL and WHA) playing from the age of 18 until he finally retired at 52. When he left the game, the record books were largely dedicated to his successes and he is the epitome of a hockey player: tough, talented, humble, and awesome.

Madonna – Material Girl

I searched far and wide for a female to include in this article and sadly Madonna was the best I could come up with. Madge earned this moniker thanks to her 1984 hit ‘Material Girl’. Interestingly, Madonna has stated this is the song she regrets recording the most because of how the name stuck with her, despite the video being about her character rejecting diamonds and money.

Johnny Cash – The Man in Black

The legendary musician earned his nickname because of the dark clothing he usually wore for his performances (a contrast to other country stars of the time), explaining his dress in the song ‘Man in Black’: “We’re doing mighty fine I do suppose; In our streak of lightning cars and fancy clothes; But just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back; Up front there ought to be a man in black.”

Johnny-Cash-Kitty

Wicked… Johnny Cash was a fan of kitties, just like the Sip Advisor!

Frank Sinatra – Chairman of the Board

Which board he was the Chairman of is up for debate, but one would have to assume it involved boozing, partying, entertaining, and having non-stop fun with your best pals. Sinatra could chair any board that I had a direct association with and I’d be more than happy to have him as a leader. Hopefully Dean and Sammy were members also and we’d get blitzed at every meeting!

Elvis Presley – The King

They didn’t even need to say what he was “The King” of, everybody just knew. Elvis was considered entertainment royalty, with thriving music and movie careers. He was the type of guy men wanted to be and women wanted to be with. Despite passing away in 1977, it could be argued that Elvis is even more popular now than he was as an active performer.

Drink #254: Euthanasia

Euthanasia Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey
  • 1 oz Southern Comfort
  • Top with Beer (I used Corona)
  • Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

What have I missed? Who have I left out that you feel so incensed about; you want to leap through your computer screen and track me down? I am a simple comment away and you’ll never forget my nickname… Sip Advisor out!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I had high hopes for this beer cocktail recipe and was sadly let down. There just wasn’t much going on with the mix other than a lingering taste of the Honey Whiskey. The recipe calls for Southern Comfort Peach Liqueur, which I’ve unfortunately never seen before. To spice things up, however, I did use Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey instead of the regular stuff. The drink also calls for each ingredient to be used equally (4 oz per), but that just seems wasteful to me, so I dropped the increments. I used a lighter beer in Corona, so as to let the liquors come through stronger.

April 4 – Bakon Bloody Mary

Bacon, Bacon, Bacon, BACON!

Sweet Jesus, I love bacon. In fact, I think pigs are one of the most delicious animals known to man. If they don’t top the list, they’re a close second behind the Dodo Bird.

I was raised on BLTs and my own creation, B&Ps (Bacon and Pickles), sandwiches. Bacon is a suitable ingredient in nearly every recipe. I throw bacon bits on my tacos, Caesar salads, French fries, pizza, pasta, ice cream, you name it.

Bacon enhances every food item I put it on. It’s a spectacular addition to burgers, even worth the additional charge you are given. And I never thought I could love potato chips more until I found flavours like Smokey Bacon and Sour Crème and Bacon. Then my world was truly complete.

I could wax on about cured meats forever, but largely due to an overdose of bacon, I’m letting some other experts do my work for me. So, my little sippers, here’s some Sip Advisor edutainment, which I hope you will enjoy as much as I did:

Drink #94: Bakon Bloody Mary

Bakon Bloody Mary Cocktail Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Bakon Vodka
  • Top with Tomato Juice
  • Dash of Worcestershire Sauce
  • Dash of Tabasco Sauce
  • Dash of Celery Salt and Pepper
  • 1/2 tsp of Horseradish
  • Garnish with Spicy Green Bean and Bacon Strips

I’m happy to report that after all the cool things I’ve had bacon on or in (chocolate and mayonnaise included), I can finally say that I’ve found a way to meld it to my other passion, liquor. Much thanks need to be heaved upon Ma and Pa Sip for picking up a bottle of Bakon Vodka and letting me crack it open for the first taste!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While I have to say that I prefer Caesars, this Bloody Mary wasn’t horrible. The Bakon Vodka is very interesting, smelling and tasting like the cured meat. While I was at it, I thought, “why not throw a slice of real bacon into the mix?” A decision I will never regret!

March 20 – Blue Memphis

River City Rampage

While Mrs. Sip and I have travelled extensively, Memphis (in the great state of Tennessee) is a place neither of us has visited. While today’s drink can only do so much to take us there, here’s some attractions I’d like to see when I finally make my way to the Mid-South:

Graceland

Whether you’re a fan of Elvis or not (but come on, who doesn’t at least have some appreciation for The King?), any visit to Memphis would require at least a pit stop at his former home, Graceland. There, we can see Elvis’ collection of cars, his private planes, and a museum dedicated to the legend. A definite highlight would be viewing the toilet he apparently died on and the TV he shot at in a drug-induced rage. Ah, the memories. Perhaps we could even stay at the nearby Heartbreak Hotel to complete the experience!

elvis-loved-naughty-girls

National Civil Rights Museum

Oddly located inside the hotel where Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, visitors can learn all about the American Civil Rights Movement and how it changed the world we live in today. I guess using the hotel isn’t the worst idea. After all, who would ever stay there again after it was the site of King’s murder? Although, perhaps, the owner’s missed the boat on an opportunity to rent rooms to ghost hunters and other creeps.

Beale Street

Home to the annual Beale Street Music Festival, this is likely where your honourable Sip Advisor would go for his daily dose of life’s elixir (known to the common folk as alcohol). There are few things that beat the mix of good music and good drinks… perhaps good sex and good drinks, but I’m still conducting thorough research on the subject.

The Pyramid

If you believe that you’ll never be able to travel to Egypt (especially if you don’t like to be molested by 12 year old peddlers, angry mobs, or camels) and the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas frightens you, than Memphis is your next best chance to see one of the world’s largest pyramids. This famous sports and entertainment venue is the sixth largest pyramid in the world behind four in Egypt and the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas. Now it’s been turned into a massive Bass Pro Shop fishing store, but that just means you can get in for free!

BBQ

I’m a huge fan of southern barbecue, so you can bet your sweet bippy that I’ll be chowing down on pulled pork, brisket, chicken and all the sides a man could ever want (cornbread, cob, slaw, tater salad) every chance I get. By the time I get back home, I hope to have a permanent barbecue sauce stain around my mouth. I’ll wear that like a badge of honour. No need for souvenirs, I already got mine!

Cat BBQ

Basketball

Whether it’s checking out some college hoops (University of Memphis Tigers) or the professional ranks (Memphis Grizzlies), a fan of the hard court can definitely get their fill here. I never attended a Vancouver Grizzlies game when the team played here (in fact I’ve never been to a NBA game ever… some sports journalist am I, right?), so I guess seeing them in Memphis would be kind of sacrilegious. Oh well, doing the wrong thing is what I do best.

Wrestling Scene

Home to one of the hottest territories during professional wrestling’s 1980’s heyday, Memphis is where grappler Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler (too bad he and Elvis never battled over the moniker), and legendary manager ‘Mouth of the South’ Jimmy Hart got their start. The group consistently sold out the Mid-South Coliseum with bloody clashes and suspenseful storytelling… old school style!

Mississippi River

Finally, why not end your vacation by floating down the mighty Mississippi (M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PP-I) aboard a riverboat. You can pretend you’re Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn, sneaking onto the ship and causing havoc. Hopefully this riverboat also offers gambling, where I can bet my plane ticket home and leave me and Mrs. Sip stranded.

Drink #79: Blue Memphis

Blue Memphis

  • 1 oz Malibu Rum
  • 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with half Pineapple Juice and half Milk
  • Garnish with Maraschino Cherry on a Pineapple Toothpick

As you can see, the recipe didn’t turn out as blue as advertised… so I guess it’s more of an Aqua-Marine Memphis. It still tasted pretty good, regardless of hue. Nashville, you’re up next!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I don’t think Milk and Pineapple Juice should be combined… really any juice I can’t see working well with the calcium goodness of Milk. This drink was largely saved by the Malibu Rum and Blue Curacao. Much thanks to liquor!