October 11 – T&A Integration

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Who doesn’t love a good nipple slip? How about a crotch shot? Some butt cleavage? Whale tale? With cameras everywhere nowadays, celebrities (and even us normal folk) must always be vigilant with our wardrobe. Here are some of the most famous clothing malfunctions:

Rob Schneider Wardrobe Malfunction

Janet Jackson

This is the exposure that started the whole concept. During Jackson’s Super Bowl half-time show, featuring Justin Timberlake, Timberlake went to Jackson to pull something off her outfit only to reveal one of Jackson’s breasts. The incident was dubbed everything from Boobgate to Nipplegate and led to censorship crackdowns, fines and lawsuits. While it was the cause of a national outcry in the United States, here in Canada, apparently only about 50 people complained. I guess we just appreciate titties more!

Britney Spears

The former pop princess showed the entire world how dangerous it is to get out of a vehicle when you’re going commando. Of course, this all occurred around the time questions about Spears mental state were swirling wildly. I don’t blame her for going a little Looney Tunes. I’m a mild celebrity compared to her and I feel the daily pressure and grind to perform for all my little sippers out there. Don’t worry folks, my crotch shot controversy and baby mama dramas are coming down the pipeline!

Wardrobe Malfunction Cat

Wrestling Divas/Knockouts

It is a common occurrence in professional wrestling to get a brief peek at women’s naughty bits; especially given they’re rolling around and getting all physical with each other in the skimpiest of outfits. Some have gone so far as to accuse the promotions of making these incidents not-so-accidental. Whatever the reason they occur, us fans are thankful… it is, after all, the only reason worth watching most female battles… kind of like watching NASCAR and waiting for a crash!

Mrs. Sip

Near tragedy (or pleasure in this case) almost occurred while Mrs. Sip and I were touring Egypt. During a dinner and party, in which all us travelers had to dress in traditional Egyptian garb, Mrs. Sip was selected to join some dancers. She had previously done some belly dancing, so she was open to the opportunity. Problem was, she was wearing a top (that already didn’t leave much to the imagination) that was originally too loose, so she altered it. Moments into her dance, POP goes the weasel and Mrs. Sip has to cover up, hoping nobody caught a glimpse!

Drink #284: T&A Integration

T&A Integration Drink Recipe

  • Rim glass with Strawberry Candy Powder
  • 1.5 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire East)
  • Top with half Fruitopia Strawberry and half Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Garnish with Lemon Zest

I love how wardrobe malfunctions have been defined by various sources. Wikipedia states: “A wardrobe malfunction is accidental exposure of intimate parts.” The American Dialect Society defines the mishaps as: “An unanticipated exposure of bodily parts.” Chambers Dictionary lists the term as: “The temporary failure of an item of clothing to do its job in covering a part of the body that it would be advisable to keep covered.” Finally, the Sip Advisor describes it as: “Absolutely wonderful and often hilarious.” We’re all right!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was a very good martini and I have to give a huge shout out to the folks at McDonald’s for carrying the Fruitopia Strawberry mixer as part of their drink station. The Lemon Juice and Lemon-Lime Soda add a nice bite to the subtle Strawberry pop. A tasty treat, indeed!

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August 17 – Jell-O Shot

Celebrity Endorsement

Much like Bill Cosby has been the face of Jell-O in the past, many celebrities have lent their name and likeness to liquor products. Even 90’s boy band Hanson has been linked to a beer called MmmHop… while that seems totally ridonkulous, here are some legit spirit-celebrity relationships:

Ron Jeremy – Ron de Jeremy Rum

That’s right, the well-hung porn legend has released his own brand of Rum. Sadly, this elixir was temporarily banned from Manitoba, Canada liquor store shelves, despite no objectionable writing or images on the label, just solely based on Jeremy’s former career. I expect better of my country!

Ron de Jeremy Rum

Dan Aykroyd – Crystal Head Vodka

You’d expect the likes of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg to support this Vodka, but instead you get funnyman Dan Aykroyd being responsible. My buddy got a bottle of this spirit for his 30th birthday and we have yet to crack it open… shame on us!

Marilyn Manson – Mansinthe

It’s a very interesting choice for a celebrity to lend their talents to an Absinthe creation, but nothing Marilyn Manson does in the world of business and entertainment could be considered normal. This Absinthe blend does in fact contain the hallucinogenic wormwood, which has me very intrigued.

Donald Trump – Trump Vodka

Unfortunately, The Donald’s alcohol endeavor is no more, as “the company failed to meet the threshold requirements”… whatever that means. When the liquor was released, Trump was so sure of its success that he gloated the Trump and Tonic and Trump Martini would be the next big things to hit the mixology world.

Trump Vodka

Danny DeVito – Danny DeVito Limoncello

Why Limoncello? Why not!? It goes along with DeVito’s Italian heritage, I suppose. I kind of wish DeVito had resurrected his Louie De Palma character from Taxi and released some filthy sewer water concoction, just looking to make a quick buck in this scheme.

George Clooney – Casamigos Tequila

As if George Clooney needs another thing that makes him look cool, suave, and sophisticated! This Tequila has a ton of hype built up around it, largely because of Clooney’s association with the brand. It has quickly shot up my list as a must-try. Warning: It will not make you the world’s sexiest man alive!

Justin Timberlake – 901 Tequila

As JT explains, the 901 stands for 9:01pm, when the evening ends and the night begins! The 901 moniker also doubles as the area code for the artist’s hometown of Memphis, Tennessee. Either way, it’s a clever marketing tool.

901 Tequila

Willie Nelson – Old Whiskey River Bourbon

I’m surprised Willie Nelson’s endorsement power hasn’t been completely spent in the marijuana field (or even the tax evasion field), but here we are with a Bourbon product that bears the title of one of Willie’s classic cover tunes, ‘Whiskey River’… a song about getting blitzed on the booze.

Sammy Hagar – Cabo Wabo Tequila & Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum

The Van Halen rocker seriously likes his booze. Enough so that he started the Cabo Wabo bar chain and Tequila, later adding Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum. The Cabo Wabo Tequila is one of the few products on this list that I’ve actually tried (and enjoyed!) in Cabo San Lucas, no less!

Cee Lo Green – Ty Ku Sake

Here’s an interesting pairing. You have singer and songwriter Cee Lo Green dabbling in the Japanese traditional spirit of Sake. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. A few other celebs also have stake in this company, including gossip blogger Perez Hilton. Good company to keep…

TY-KU-Sake

Billy Gibbons – Pura Vida Tequila

The ZZ Top front man joins a long list of musicians who have entered the liquor game. This Premium Tequila (don’t they all advertise themselves to be that!) is surely consumed by sharply dressed men with great legs, on their way to La Grange. I wonder if Gibbons’ famous beard ever gets matted and tangled by the Pura Vida Tequila

Bill Murray and Mikhail Baryshnikov – Slovenia Vodka

Can you imagine the board of director meetings that happen within this Vodka company, led by the odd couple of actor Bill Murray and dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov? Between the jokes and choreography, I’m willing to bet that barely any work gets done at all at these offices.

Drink #229: Jell-O Shot

Jell-o Shooter

  • 1/2 Cup of Vodka/Spiced Rum/Tequila
  • Mix Liquors with 1/2 Cup Water and Cool in Fridge
  • 1 Cup Water, Boiled
  • 1 Pack of Jell-O (Watermelon, Berry Blue, Lime)

If I could have a celebrity endorsement for this site, I’d pick some of the finest alcoholics known to fame: I’m talking the Mel Gibson’s or David Hasselhoff’s of the world. As for myself, in the not-too-distant future, I will be a dot.com celeb and will have to be careful when choosing products to attach my name to. Look out for a future article regarding my selective process!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I figured Jell-O Shots had to be done at some point in this project and why not combine them with Frozen Cocktail Week, since there’s really no point in making a frozen shooter (you might as well just go ahead and entitle it Brain Freeze… light bulb!). Making Jell-O shots made me feel like a kid again… except this time I was getting ripped throughout the entire process. I want to thank Ma Sip and Cousin Sip for their help throughout the project. I decided to do three different versions of the shooters (lime with tequila, berry blue with spiced rum, and watermelon with raspberry vodka) with my favourite being the vodka-watermelon combo. I never really liked Jell-O Shots until I made them myself!