September 7 – Jelly Bean

Posted on September 7, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Meme-orization

Today marks drink #250 and as we’ve done every time we hit the half-century mark, the Sip Advisor presents to you a smattering of hilarious alcohol-fueled memes!

Some people will never be good cooks, but so long as there’s beer nearby, men and women alike will never go without sustenance. There’s nothing wrong with the odd liquid dinner. I’d say I go liquid only four to five times a week. I do follow that up, though, with a dessert of burgers, hot dogs, and pizza, so everything works out in the end!

Is there a better place to drink than on a patio? Well, perhaps in your underwear on your favourite couch, but patios are a close second! Mrs. Sip and I love to find a nice little spot where we can be one with the outdoors, while sharing good times with friends, family, and liquor. That’s about as outdoorsy as we get, preferring all the comforts the indoors have to offer.

One day, when the world goes to hell (even more so than it already has), there will be an epic battle between the forces of good and evil. On one side, will be all us boozers. On the other side, will be the people who think so highly of themselves that they look down upon all the people that are actually enjoying life. The winners will inherit the earth and providing we’re not too busy nursing a hangover, my money is on us!

I’ve found my short-term memory to be absolutely horrible lately. Whether that is the result of age or all the drinking I do… where was I going with this!? In all seriousness, I’m not too worried about my short term memory being unreliable. As long as I can remember all the important stuff, like my name and such, I don’t necessarily see a reason for all that other junk.

This is a fantastic question Mr. Dinosaur. This is something we could debate for hours on end (and I look forward to our next conversation) but ultimately, the results are the same. Regardless of where you are, you’re going to spend stupidly on things you technically don’t need, but they’ll be a pleasure to have while it’s there!

Red Solo Cups are perhaps the greatest party tool ever invented. I never really knew that they were designed to give users an idea of measurements until I saw this meme and that makes them all the more amazing. What if you used the cup to make a layered drink of each listed alcohol and filled it to the proper line. A beer, wine, liquor combo. I’m going to have to give that a try sometime!

Drink #250: Jelly Bean

Rim glass with Jelly Beans
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Sambuca
0.5 oz Blackcurrant Liqueur

250 drinks is quite the milestone. Have you enjoyed the ride so far?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The shooter actually does taste like a Jelly Bean, so that was a pleasant surprise. If you don’t have a Blackberry or Blackcurrant Liqueur, you can always sub Grenadine in its place. The Jelly Bean rim was a bit of a pain to put together because I wasn’t able to pick up the exact Jelly Beans I had envisioned for this shot, but it came together well enough, with the assistance of Mrs. Sip!

September 5 – Banana Pepper

Posted on September 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Crazy Condiments

I’ve recently fallen in love with actual banana peppers (although the drink was quite tasty, too) and I enjoy experimenting with different tastes and combinations on burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, salads, and nearly everything else I stuff in my mouth. Of course, I’m a fan of all your usual condiments (ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc.), but here are some of the more unique items I love to add to my meals:

Baconnaise

I’d be happy if everything in my life came with bacon on board. Mayo is already a wonderful condiment, but when you combine it with the healing powers of bacon (seriously, bacon is the best known hangover cure), you just can’t go wrong. Baconnaise would be best enjoyed on… anything. It’s that simple of a concept.

Bacon Bits

Sticking with the most delicious meat known to man, I love bacon bits (real or simulated, it doesn’t really matter!) and will toss some on many different meals. They go great on tacos, Caesar salads, poutine, and pizza, among others. I weep for those that do not eat bacon and have spent countless nights lost in prayer for their souls.

Tzatziki

What would Greek food be without Tzatziki? Well, it would still be pretty damn good, but Tzatziki is the icing on the cake… or in this case, the souvlaki, potatoes, rice, Greek salad, calamari, lamb… shall I continue?! Sure, the substance can leave your breath with a long-lasting garlic resonance, but it’s all worth it for the taste.

Oh, I want these so bad!

Chipotle/Southwest/Baja Sauce

This is another dressing that I’ve really gotten into in the last little while. I enjoy a little heat with my food (nothing crazy, because I’m more about flavor than burn) and these spreads are the perfect touch for getting that mild to medium singe. Burritos, in particular, have become an absolute pleasure since these sauces became so popular.

Tartar Sauce

I’ve recently fallen back in love with tartar sauce after a few years of barely being friends. Of course, the stuff perfectly complements fish and chips, but can also be used with other seafood delicacies. I recently realized that I’ve never tried a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish and that’s something that needs immediate remedying. I’ll report back to you soon!

Olives

I love all types of olives: black ones, green ones, stuffed, pitted. There’s no olive I won’t try. We’ve also become quite enamored of late with tapenades around the Sip Advisor offices. These dips mix chopped olives with a host of other ingredients that can include capers, anchovies, juices, oils, herbs and spices. They’re great on breads and crackers.

Triple O Sauce

I can best describe this as a mayo-ketchup-thousand island hybrid that is so delicious it truly makes the burger. It’s only available at White Spot restaurants, which are largely located throughout B.C., Canada. I had a family member who used to work with the company and legend has it she would bring a massive container of the sauce to family gatherings… sadly, I wasn’t even born yet.

Drink #248: Banana Pepper

1 oz Dark Rum
0.5 oz Crème de Banane
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Cola
Garnish with a Banana Slice and a Banana Pepper

I bet you’re thinking to yourself: “Did the Sip Advisor just write an entire post about condiments and sauces?” You’re damn right he just did… now if only they paid me to do this!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail is advertised as a banana-flavoured Dr. Pepper and on that point, it hits its mark. It’s a pretty decent, if not amazing drink, but one that would be enjoyed by most people.

August 31 – Brain Freeze

Posted on August 31, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Roasted

During Frozen Cocktail Week, I subbed Jell-O shots in as the Super Saturday Shot Day post, rather than create a frozen shot… for I believed a frozen shot to be an utterly insane and useless creation. Here we are two weeks later and I have in fact created a frozen shot, inside a frozen shot glass, no less. Mrs. Sip insisted it be done and here it is… now you all have her to blame for your ice cream headaches!

With that in mind, let’s take a few moments together to roast Mrs. Sip. She may be the best thing that ever happened to me, but that doesn’t mean she’s immune from a little Sip justice!

Stuck in Rome

Mrs. Sip and I love Rome, particularly the Trevi Fountain, which we have visited multiple times during the day and at night. On our last trip there in 2007, we had already stopped by during the day with our tour group, before we went off on our own for a romantic dinner. When our meal was complete, night had fallen and Mrs. Sip insisted on returning to the fountain for a twilight viewing. Off we went, snapped a couple photos, watched a drunk guy jump in, and tossed a penny into the attraction (usually a penny for a wish to return to Rome, but since the drunk guy may have been collecting them, let’s just call it charity). When we made our way back to the subway, we were met by a locked gate. Keep in mind it was only 9 pm on a Friday night… there was no way the line could be closed.

Frantically we searched for another entrance with no luck. The place our group was staying was 40 minutes outside the city by transport, so taking a cab was clearly not an option for us poor students. We tried figuring out a bus route that might get us to the train line we needed to take, but ultimately ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere in the middle of nowhere. Looking for a safe place to stay until the trains started running again at 5am, we ended up inside an American-themed hot dog and waffle joint that was open late. The Italian waitress, who spoke no English, and one beyond-drunk customer were our only company. As Mrs. Sip napped on our little table, the drunk dude tried in loud Italian, which I don’t speak, and violent hand gestures to communicate with me. When he noticed that I clearly didn’t understand he spoke even louder (because that does the trick, obviously) Finally I got across that he knew a guy who could rent us a room..by the hour…right.

Night turned into morning and we left our little slice of salvation en route back to the train station… with our still drunk, helpful, Italian associate in tow. Fear not, little sippers, he ended up coming in handy. When we reached the station we caught the first train of the day and were off. But our day pass transit tickets had now technically expired and we had spent the last of our cash on waffles on a stick. Enter our drunk Italian friend (yes, he was our friend now) who explained to the ticket collector our struggle and situation and the nice man allowed us to continue on our journey uninterrupted. We finally made it back to our campsite at 6:30am, with enough time for an hour-long nap, before we were back aboard the bus and onto our next destination.

Lost in Monaco

Here’s another tale from that same circuit tour of Europe… we had some sketchy luck during that vacation. Mrs. Sip and I had just spent an amazing evening in Monaco, walking to the city’s famous palace and enjoying the luxury casinos in the heart of the metropolis. As our tour group reconvened and headed back to the bus for the journey back to our humble (and I really mean that) abode. Along the way, Mrs. Sip stopped to take some photos and joined one of our fellow traveler in his. I kept with the group, theorizing that I could at least grab us some seats together on the bus.

When I boarded the bus, I quickly grabbed us a spot and watched the rest of the group pour one-by-one back onto the coach. With each passing person, I grew more anxious. Then, the once steady stream stopped and nobody else seemed to be coming. I looked around the entire bus, thinking perhaps she had boarded and didn’t see me and vice versa… no such luck. I began to panic a little as our tour guide asked if anyone was missing. Mrs. Sip and one other passenger were not with the group. The minutes seemed like hours as I waited. The bus couldn’t wait around all night, as the drivers have very strict rules as to how long they can be driving and how much time off they need before journeys.

It was time to go and I had to hurriedly hustle off the coach, so as not to leave Mrs. Sip behind (wherever she might be). For some reason, I had Mrs. Sip’s passport, wallet, and credit card on me and Mrs. Sip had just our camera…and the only map of Monaco we had. Fantastic. Thankfully, I went no further than a few steps when I spotted Mrs. Sip hauling ass towards the bus. She and the other missing passenger had taken a wrong turn trying to catch up to the group after their photo and had run back and forth through an underground tunnel vainly trying to find us. We flagged down our bus, quickly boarded and were off again with only 90% of the bus giving the future Mrs. Sip disapproving looks.

Karate Kid

Mrs. Sip can be a funny specimen when she’s inebriated, although I guess we all can. During her university days, Mrs. Sip lived with a bunch of roommates who were very tight, being in the same sorority and some of them having been friends even before living together. After the girls went out for their end-of-the-year dinner, a bunch of their respective guys came up to join the party. When I arrived, Mrs. Sip and I went into her room so I could drop off my things and get settled in and she can change from her cocktail dress to something more comfy. As I sat in her computer chair, she started doing a karate-like interpretive dance and said that she could perform a roundhouse kick over my head.

Amused and curious to see where this might lead, I allowed her to make her challenge. Then, without warning, she backed up and went to fire her leg over my head… only her leg never got anywhere near me and instead, all that I heard as I closed my eyes was a sickening thud of flesh against desk. She had slammed her poor little foot, full force, right into the side of her desk and was now hopping around, howling. I’ve rarely seen Mrs. Sip cry… she’s cold as ice… but she was mighty close this time. The moans she was making had everyone in the nearby kitchen and living room thinking that the Sip Advisor was getting his swerve on. The other guys were cheering me on and congratulated me when I popped out of the room until I told them that I think she had broken her foot. The next day when I took her for x-rays, doctor’s, and hospital we had to explain over and over again that she had “kicked a desk” while I endured sidelong dubious glances from medical professionals. Ah well, I guess even Mrs. Sip is allowed a drunk faux pas every once in a while! (yes french pun intended)

Marrying the Sip Advisor

Perhaps the biggest mistake she’ll ever make! *rimshot*

Drink #243: Brain Freeze (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.5 oz Kraken Black Spiced Rum
0.5 oz 1800 Reposado Tequila
0.5 oz Crowberry Frost Liqueur
Blend with Ice
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

Mrs. Sip knows the stress she often puts me through with her misadventures… at least we’ve earned some good stories out of our mistakes!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This is the perfect dare shot. It is not the easiest to drink (brain freeze, sensitive teeth, stomach freeze, etc.), but it’s incredibly fun and unique. The Tequila taste came out the strongest with a lingering Spiced Rum finish. I liked adding some Maraschino Cherry Juice to make it look like the frozen brain was bleeding! Give it a try sometime!

August 27 – The Gladiator

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

No Muss, No Fuss

In some ways, a fussy drinker is justified… but there are other times where you just need to let go and make the best of a boozy situation. Instead of being a fussy #*$!, here are some suggestions for when you’re feeling the fuss but still want to get your drink on.

Must Have Ice

If no ice is available, I will suffer through my drink, but it at all possible, you better believe there will be cubes in my cocktail. I’ve learned well from my parents that having a stock of ice is perhaps the most crucial element to any soiree. Surprisingly, some locations don’t really cater to the ice lovers out there. If you’re in a setting that doesn’t allow the free flow of ice, my recommendation is to stick to beer or wine.

Top Shelf Only

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate drinking a top shelf spirit when the opportunity arises, but I’m not going to go all Frasier Crane when other alcohols are used to make my cocktail. There are people out there that only want the finest and that is their prerogative… unless they make a scene about that. Those folks should be shown the door, whether friend, colleague, lover, or kin. There are some good cheaper brands that can really make a drink. My favourite mid-shelf drinks are Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum, Disaronno (for Amaretto), and Absolut.

Fresh Ingredients Are a Must

In the interest of simplicity, sometimes it would be easier to use a pre-mixed concoction. However, Mrs. Sip won’t allow this and I do get her point. Bottled mixes are often much sweeter and more sugary than the natural ingredients would be. We’ve made it a rule around the Sip Advisor headquarters that only fresh juices and fruit are used for this site. I hope you’ve noticed our dedication to excellence!

I’m On a Diet

This may be the fussy drinker that pisses me off the most. We all have friends that only drink vodka sodas or other flavourless swill because they are watching their calorie intake. The worst is that person who insists her cocktail be made with diet pop – which is far worse for you than any normal beverage – and gives you attitude when you inform them you don’t carry that crap because of how awful it is. Solution: None, you suck.

It Needs Fizz

Another core concept I generally agree with, but there are a multitude of drinks that neither require nor warrant carbonation to be enjoyable. Most of the classic cocktails would be ruined if fizz was added. That being said, generally if we can work some tang into any beverage, you can bet your ass we will. A positive of using sodas in your mix is that the drink will have an effervescence and energy to it as the bubbles hit your tongue.

Too Soft, Too Hard

Scratch that, this is the fussiest drinker that grinds my gears the most. The type of “friend” who complains about the drink you’ve given them being too weak. Um, alright… and by the way, you’re welcome. Then when you make the next cocktail, you up the liquor quotient and suddenly it’s too strong. Well, you know what, I reserve the right to pick and choose who I serve and you… are… out of here!

Drink #239: The Gladiator

0.75 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
0.75 oz Peach Schnapps
Drop shot into glass of Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

What cocktail requirements do you insist on? Perhaps we’ll have to agree to disagree!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m not sure how a drink that use two lighter spirits winds up with such a commanding name like The Gladiator, but that’s just how things go sometimes. I found this recipe in an online discussion of cocktails for fussy drinkers, so I decided to give it a try. I liked how the Peach Schnapps and Amaretto would slowly roll out of the shot glass as I slammed the Lemon-Lime Soda and the whole concoction was quite tasty!

August 24 – Warm Fuzzies

Posted on August 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Warmth Spreading

There are those certain times in your day which bring the greatest of pleasurable feelings, as a sea of warmth spreads over your body and a sensation of true bliss brings a smile to your face. I call this time sex… na, just kidding. You don’t have to be in the throes of passion to feel all warm and fuzzy. Here are my favourite things that bring about the heat for me:

Waking Up with Time before Your Alarm

I prefer to wake up naturally and hate using an alarm clock. Of course, if you want to avoid consistent unemployment, an alarm clock really comes in handy. It has to be one of the greatest feelings in the world when you wake up, check the time and your alarm isn’t set to go off for a while… the longer the better. Even if all you have left is 10 minutes and you may not be able to get back to dream world, it’s nice to know your blankets and bed will keep you comfortable for just a little longer.

The Smell of Barbecue

I don’t really care what type of meat is on the barbie, so long as it’s filling the atmosphere with its sweet meaty smells. The only time this sucks is when you’re extremely hungry and the scent of cooking food is driving you to a non-desirable mental state. It makes you want to hunt down the barbecue, trespass on property, steal said meat, and break another couple criminal codes, as you also pilfer the place’s liquor collection and side dishes.

Kitties Purring

Cats sometimes seem so nonchalant, as if they don’t have a care in the world. So, when one snuggles up to you for a little rest and begins purring their little head off, then you know you have an unbreakable connection. My little buddy, Furious B, even rewards our family with hunted rodents and birds. That’s just his way of saying: “Thanks for the lap, the nap, the blanket, and the kibble!”

Giving Presents

I love giving gifts to my closest friends and family. I put a lot of time and effort into figuring out the right present and then tracking that item down. Sometimes it can be frustrating, especially since I don’t like shopping and all too often I can’t find what I’m looking for easily, but the reaction you get when that present is finally delivered and opened makes the whole process totally worth it!

Making Drinks

I’m really in my element when I’m mixing drinks for friends and family. I love when I can bring some small amount of enjoyment to them with a delicious cocktail. Receiving rave reviews isn’t rare and even if they’re just being nice, I’ll take it! I like being the one that plays bartender and makes the drinks everyone is talking about. It’s nice to be the center of drinking attention and also gets this introvert out of the all-out party assault when he needs a little breather.

Shared Nostalgia

I love that time in the evening of a drink-a-thon when everyone starts thinking about the awesome things from their childhood or teenage years. Mrs. Sip and I will discuss at length the lessons we learned from Saved by the Bell or how Cousin Sip had such a crush of Kit Cloudkicker from Tail Spin (sorry to out you there, but you probably weren’t alone!). I can remember (fuzzy memories still count) countless hours spent reminiscing about favourite candies, toys, shows, movies, etc. and it really doesn’t get much better to share that with the ones you love!

Drink #236: Warm Fuzzies (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.5 oz Sand Berry Liqueur (I used Gutshof Sanddorn Likor)
1 oz Cloudberry Liqueur
Garnish with an Orange Wedge

What are your favourite warm fuzzy moments? If you simply agree with my list and how awesome I am, that will continue the warm fuzzy vibe we got going on here… don’t screw it up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This delicious shot earned its name thanks to the warm fuzzy feeling it gave my entire body as it worked its way down my throat and into my stomach, providing the same feeling soon after to my head .I created this recipe on a whim when Mrs. Sip suggested we do a shot before going for a walk… she’s such a clever lady! Unfortunately, the liqours were purchased in Germany and Estonia so I realize this shot may be a bit more difficult to re-create if you are on the wrong side of the pond.

August 17 – Jell-O Shot

Posted on August 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Celebrity Endorsement

Much like Bill Cosby has been the face of Jell-O in the past, many celebrities have lent their name and likeness to liquor products. Even 90’s boy band Hanson has been linked to a beer called MmmHop… while that seems totally ridonkulous, here are some legit spirit-celebrity relationships:

Ron Jeremy – Ron de Jeremy Rum

That’s right, the well-hung porn legend has released his own brand of Rum. Sadly, this elixir was temporarily banned from Manitoba, Canada liquor store shelves, despite no objectionable writing or images on the label, just solely based on Jeremy’s former career. I expect better of my country!

Dan Aykroyd – Crystal Head Vodka

You’d expect the likes of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg to support this Vodka, but instead you get funnyman Dan Aykroyd being responsible. My buddy got a bottle of this spirit for his 30th birthday and we have yet to crack it open… shame on us!

Marilyn Manson – Mansinthe

It’s a very interesting choice for a celebrity to lend their talents to an Absinthe creation, but nothing Marilyn Manson does in the world of business and entertainment could be considered normal. This Absinthe blend does in fact contain the hallucinogenic wormwood, which has me very intrigued.

Donald Trump – Trump Vodka

Unfortunately, The Donald’s alcohol endeavor is no more, as “the company failed to meet the threshold requirements”… whatever that means. When the liquor was released, Trump was so sure of its success that he gloated the Trump and Tonic and Trump Martini would be the next big things to hit the mixology world.

Danny DeVito – Danny DeVito Limoncello

Why Limoncello? Why not!? It goes along with DeVito’s Italian heritage, I suppose. I kind of wish DeVito had resurrected his Louie De Palma character from Taxi and released some filthy sewer water concoction, just looking to make a quick buck in this scheme.

George Clooney – Casamigos Tequila

As if George Clooney needs another thing that makes him look cool, suave, and sophisticated! This Tequila has a ton of hype built up around it, largely because of Clooney’s association with the brand. It has quickly shot up my list as a must-try. Warning: It will not make you the world’s sexiest man alive!

Justin Timberlake – 901 Tequila

As JT explains, the 901 stands for 9:01pm, when the evening ends and the night begins! The 901 moniker also doubles as the area code for the artist’s hometown of Memphis, Tennessee. Either way, it’s a clever marketing tool.

Willie Nelson – Old Whiskey River Bourbon

I’m surprised Willie Nelson’s endorsement power hasn’t been completely spent in the marijuana field (or even the tax evasion field), but here we are with a Bourbon product that bears the title of one of Willie’s classic cover tunes, ‘Whiskey River’… a song about getting blitzed on the booze.

Sammy Hagar – Cabo Wabo Tequila & Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum

The Van Halen rocker seriously likes his booze. Enough so that he started the Cabo Wabo bar chain and Tequila, later adding Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum. The Cabo Wabo Tequila is one of the few products on this list that I’ve actually tried (and enjoyed!) in Cabo San Lucas, no less!

Cee Lo Green – Ty Ku Sake

Here’s an interesting pairing. You have singer and songwriter Cee Lo Green dabbling in the Japanese traditional spirit of Sake. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. A few other celebs also have stake in this company, including gossip blogger Perez Hilton. Good company to keep…

Billy Gibbons – Pura Vida Tequila

The ZZ Top front man joins a long list of musicians who have entered the liquor game. This Premium Tequila (don’t they all advertise themselves to be that!) is surely consumed by sharply dressed men with great legs, on their way to La Grange. I wonder if Gibbons’ famous beard ever gets matted and tangled by the Pura Vida Tequila…

Bill Murray and Mikhail Baryshnikov – Slovenia Vodka

Can you imagine the board of director meetings that happen within this Vodka company, led by the odd couple of actor Bill Murray and dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov? Between the jokes and choreography, I’m willing to bet that barely any work gets done at all at these offices.

Drink #229: Jell-O Shot

1/2 Cup of Vodka/Spiced Rum/Tequila
Mix Liquors with 1/2 Cup Water and Cool in Fridge
1 Cup Water, Boiled
1 Pack of Jell-O (Watermelon, Berry Blue, Lime)

If I could have a celebrity endorsement for this site, I’d pick some of the finest alcoholics known to fame: I’m talking the Mel Gibson’s or David Hasselhoff’s of the world. As for myself, in the not-too-distant future, I will be a dot.com celeb and will have to be careful when choosing products to attach my name to. Look out for a future article regarding my selective process!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I figured Jell-O Shots had to be done at some point in this project and why not combine them with Frozen Cocktail Week, since there’s really no point in making a frozen shooter (you might as well just go ahead and entitle it Brain Freeze… light bulb!). Making Jell-O shots made me feel like a kid again… except this time I was getting ripped throughout the entire process. I want to thank Ma Sip and Cousin Sip for their help throughout the project. I decided to do three different versions of the shooters (lime with tequila, berry blue with spiced rum, and watermelon with raspberry vodka) with my favourite being the vodka-watermelon combo. I never really liked Jell-O Shots until I made them myself!

August 10 – Zipper

Posted on August 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Shopping Spree

While it may be a favourite summer activity for a number of folks out there (even little sippers), it must be shared that the big cheese himself, the Sip Advisor, loathes shopping.

I feel that shopping is akin to a deadly disease. It has infected numerous victims, male and female alike and it’s coming for me next.

I’m one of those types that only goes shopping when I need something and in those cases, I zip through the store like speedy gonzales on crack (could you imagine?), my mission to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, avoiding infection in every department. I don’t want to explore every single aisle, or “just browse”.

On occasion, Mrs. Sip and I will venture down to the United States for a shopping excursion, but I’m mostly there for potential liquor and mixer finds, food court enjoyment, and grocery shopping. Being forced to join Mrs. Sip in any of the clothing stores she wants to peruse sends me into child-like temper tantrums. Even when she’s shopping for lingerie at Victoria’s Secret, I work diligently to accelerate the process. “Of course those will look good on you, hon.” Psssh, as if I want to be responsible for her being clothed at all.

In the average year, I’m forced to go on one spring shopping trip (at the vile hands of Mrs. Sip). It’s not like I’m cognizant of this plan, but we do so much travelling that inevitably I find myself in a mall and, without even realizing what’s transpiring, I’m trying on multiple clothing items. With my head still spinning, I’m walking out of the store with new jeans, shirts, and in rare cases, animal print underwear.

I try at all costs to avoid adding to my wardrobe, frivolously keeping items that have well run their course of usefulness. Boxers and socks with holes, jeans with small tears, jackets with non-functional zippers, shoes that should not be worn on rainy days, etc. I try to hide these items from Mrs. Sip through deception and sleight of hand, but the illusion is often eventually exposed… I’m just not that good of a magician.

Of course, everything I’ve written here today goes out the window when I’m liquor shopping. In that case, I want to see everything – sometimes multiple times. I want to examine products, price compare, try things on, make sure I get the right size, and don’t mind blowing up my credit card over a splurge.

If people like other forms of shopping, that’s cool. I’m not here to discriminate. Just don’t drag me along with you. We can achieve harmony, folks… one purchase at a time!

Drink #222: Zipper

0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
0.5 oz Irish Crème
Garnish with Orange Wedge

So, am I right or wrong in my assessment of the shopping phenomena? Mrs. Sip and I have a little wager going on with regards to this, so please take the time to vote in favour of your buddy, your pal, the Sip Advisor!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked the taste of this shooter, especially the Grand Marnier orange liqueur. The mix all went down easy and there was no overwhelming or harsh flavour that I worried about coming from the Tequila.

August 3 – Roasted Mellow

Posted on August 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Friends Forever

Today is Friendship Day and it gives up the perfect opportunity to huddle around the campfire with this awesome and creative shot and our best buds. With that in mind, we’re looking at BFF’s in media. Duos and groups that stand by each other through thick and thin, sharing triumphs and defeats together. Here are some of the best:

Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble – The Flintstones

Always up to something, Fred and Barney are total bros. When either of them is in need of help, whether it be dealing with thugs, their wives, or even dressing in drag together to win a pastry competition, the other is quick to step up and lend a helping hand. The two even work together at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company.

Troy Barnes and Abed Nadir – Community

While seemingly having opposite personalities at first – Troy a popular jock and Abed a media-obsessed geek – the two Greendale Community College students quickly formed a tight bond, hosting a campus morning show together and inventing their own handshake. Eventually, Troy and Abed moved in together so they could continue their fun together at all hours.

The Boys – Entourage

Vince, E, Drama, and Turtle are virtually inseparable as they traverse the Hollywood scene together. When actor Vince hit it big in the movie industry, he took his best friends (and brother Johnny Drama) along with him for the ride. Drama is also an actor, while Eric becomes a talent manager, and Turtle dabbles in a few side businesses, trying to find success on his own.

Bart Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten / Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble – The Simpsons

The Simpson men each have a friend who’ve they’ve known practically their entire life. The apple obviously didn’t fall too far from the tree, as while Bart is the impetus for Milhouse getting into sticky situations, Homer is the one who introduced Barney to beer, pushing him into years of alcoholism and failed opportunities.

Danny Tanner and Joey Gladstone – Full House

When Danny suffered the death of his wife and had to figure out how to raise three young girls on his own, his buddy Joey was quick to step in (and move in) to the Tanner family home. Joey becomes a second father to DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle and an integral member of their family unit. The jokester and impressionist knew just how to keep the mood light around the house.

Harry Dunn and Lloyd Christmas – Dumb & Dumber

Upon further inspection, Harry and Lloyd have only each other. No one else could possibly tolerate these two idiots for long enough to form a bond. While not the brightest guys in the world (in fact, far from it), they are decent human beings who are only held back by their complete lack of intelligence.

Kevin Arnold and Paul Pfeiffer – The Wonder Years

These two grew up together, through all the awkward adolescent years (especially for Paul… I’m mean, have a look at him) and despite the odd falling out, the boys were always there for each other. Paul was there all along as Kevin fell in and out of love with neighbor Winnie Cooper. I wonder who would have done Paul’s adult voiceovers, if it was ever needed…

Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz – I Love Lucy

Poor Ethel was put into so many awkward situations and got into so much trouble because of Lucy… but she probably wouldn’t have had it any other way! Lucy definitely made life interesting for the housewives through her various schemes. Actresses Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance were friends offstage, as well, which likely helped with their chemistry.

Beavis and Butt-head – Beavis and Butt-head

Beavis and Butthead were partners in crime (sometimes literally) as they wasted great chunks of their life together, watching music videos, idolizing all the wrong people, and chasing after women outside of their league. In flashbacks throughout the show’s run, you get a sense that the two only had each other and that’s all they ever needed.

Bert and Ernie – Sesame Street

They may simply be roommates (or are they?), but Bert and Ernie come as a package deal. The only thing that could possibly come between the chums is Ernie’s rubber ducky, but that’s only for tub time. Bert sometimes grows frustrated with Ernie’s antics, but in the end, the two learn a lesson together, which is also imparted on youngster’s watching at home.

Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter – Boy Meets World

Before Topanga entered Cory’s life and took over the “best friend” role, Shawn was his preeminent pal, as the two tried to survive growing up together. From grade school all the way through college, there was rarely a time when the two were apart, with Shawn even living with Cory and his family for long stretches of time.

Drink #215: Roasted Mellow

0.5 oz Marshmallow Vodka (I used Smirnoff Fluffed)
0.5 oz Scotch
0.5 oz Chocolate Liqueur
Pour shot in Giant Marshmallow

How are you spending Friendship Day? Make sure to share some time with the folks that make you who you are and you couldn’t live without!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
You know, this shot didn’t taste that bad. Did it taste like a roasted marshmallow? Perhaps a little, thanks obviously to the Marshmallow Vodka and even to the Scotch and its smoky aftertaste. The addition of Chocolate Liqueur should change the recipe to being call The S’more or something of that ilk. Massive credit to my wasteland of a brain for coming up with putting the shot directly into a Giant Marshmallow!

July 27 – Beneath the Sea

Posted on July 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beer Christenings

There are some pretty clever beer names out there… a lot of them, to be honest. Today, I’ve tried to narrow down some of the best I’ve seen or heard of and hopefully we can all have some laughs thanks to these inventive brewers.

Hell or High Watermelon – 21st Amendment

One of my favourite beers I’ve sadly only been able to try once. I’ve tried a couple other watermelon and wheat-based concoctions, but Hell or High Watermelon is by far my preferred option. I happily sipped on it at Beer 39 in San Francisco and although I’ve found stores where I can pick it up when I’m in the U.S., it’s hard to justify using my liquor allowance on beer. 21st Amendment also makes the Beerly Legal Lager, which is another crafty name for a brew.

Hoptimus Prime – Ruckus (and others)

There are a lot of beers that play with the word hop in their name (Smoother Hoperator, Stop, Hop and Roll, and Hoppy Ending are a few that come to mind), but Hoptimus Prime is is by far the best, as the companies (there are multiple) play on the Optimus Prime Transformers character. This kind of makes me want to see the Autobots get their drink on, which would be like Bender from Futurama getting blitzed but with so much more destruction!

Kilt Lifter – Pike (and others)

This ale seems to be a common release from a number of different companies. Pike is one of the more popular and also a micro-brewery/pub I have personally visited and enjoyed thoroughly nearly every time I’m in Seattle, Washington. I’ve even tried the Kilt Lifter despite not being a big ale drinker, as you have to try something with a name like this when the opportunity arises!

Panty Peeler – Midnight Sun

Well, we all hope this is the end result of a night drinking with the missus! Sticking with the removal of clothes, started by the Kilt Lifter above, the Panty Peeler features an 8.5% alcohol content, which just may accelerate the removal of clothing. It is described as a Belgian triple with American boldness and originally went under a different name, but received its new moniker over time. Gee, I wonder how that happened!

Blithering Idiot – Weyerbacher

Clearly, the fine folks at Weyerbacher know exactly what their customers become after consuming their products! I know I’ve had my fair share of “Blithering Idiot” moments after downing a few too many pints. This barley wine ale has a great label featuring an evil looking jester that just may haunt your dreams if you turn into a blithering idiot yourself.

Duck Duck Gooze – The Lost Abbey

The name of this beer is a play on the gueuze style, which is a Belgian fermentation technique, resulting in brews dubbed Brussels Champagne. When drinking Duck Duck Gooze, you should then play a complete trashed version of the classic children’s game, wobbling around the circle as you chase down your opponent and walloping them good when you catch them. Apparently, this beer is only released once every three years, so you’ll want to grab it if you ever see it.

Boom Shakalager – Terrapin Side Project

This takes me back to the days of NBA Jam, being on fire, and the announcer shouting “BOOM SHAKALAKA” as you performed a mega dunk, slamming the basketball straight to hell! The 9% alcohol content will definitely have you “on fire”, similar to NBA Jam, but your dunking skills are probably in need of major work and I predict any number of serious court injuries if you try to slam a ball while buzzing on Boom Shakalager!

Effinguud – Valley Brew

The makers of this beer have a very high opinion of it. With their confidence fully behind the brew, it gives me complete faith in the sour/wild ale. Similar to the tactic used by Effen Vodka, Effinguud will get your attention with its name and hopes to keep it with its taste. I wonder if you would be in line for a refund if you had a bad experience with the drink?Would it be false advertising?

CA$H 4 Golden Ale – Pipeworks

We’ve all seen or heard about the Cash for Gold stores, where customers can exchange their jewelry and other trinkets for money (it was even parodied on a recent episode of South Park). Now you can apparently get some currency in exchange for trading in your beer. I have yet to see one of their locations, but I have to admit, I’m not really searching, preferring to drink my beer (perhaps a CA$H 4 Golden Ale), rather than exchange it.

For Those About to Bock – HopWorks

We salute you! While most people like to combine their drinking with the hard rock music of AC/DC (sorry, there’s no lightning bolt for the ‘/’ symbol), this company took it a step further and named their beer based on the band’s hit ‘For Those About to Rock’. Taking the Bock style of beer, which is a traditional German strong brew, HopWorks has made the perfect libation for heavy drinkers and hard rockers alike.

Nonethewizer – Drakes

I figured this beer would be of the Hefeweizen variety, but it’s actually a Kölsch/Altbier brew. I feel like Nonethewizer would be a perfect beer to be sneaking around, leaving people none-the-wiser that you’re actually getting smashed. It could be enjoyed at work, while at your child’s school events, during excruciating dry social occasions, and really anywhere else a beer would hit the spot but is looked down upon by the rest of society!

Drink #208: Beneath the Sea

0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
Drop a couple drops of GIB Raspberry Ale
Garnish with Shark Candy

That wraps up Beer Cocktail Week at The Sip. I hope you’ve all enjoyed this trip down brewery lane and you’ve remembered the old saying: liquor before beer, you’re in the clear… beer before liquor, never been sicker. Although, I’m not too sure how it goes when we’ve been combining the two all week!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I kind of wish I had picked a beer shooter that involved more than a few drop of the brew, but this seemed like a neat option among too many lame ones. The layering that was supposed to occur didn’t and the seaweed effect with adding the raspberry beer drops never worked either. Still, any excuse to use a gummy shark is a good one!

July 20 – Melon Ball

Posted on July 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Creative Cuisine

There are some odd culinary pairings in existence where anyone who has tried the combo swears by its deliciousness. Some of these I’ve tried and others I’ve merely only heard about. While I’ll give most anything a fair shot, I must admit that some of these couplings will take more convincing than others. This seems to be a growing field in the gastronomic world, as there’s even an entire site dedicated to the cause. Here are some blends that I’ve tried myself or found around the wild, wild web:

Melon and Prosciutto

For two completely contrasting food items, melon and prosciutto work really well together. Even though I’m not a big melon fan, the mix of sweetness from the melon and salty from the prosciutto produce a melt in your mouth snack that will blow your mind. Of course, prosciutto seems to accentuate a number of other items from crackers to salads and everything in between.

Chili Powder and Vanilla Ice Cream

I’ve enjoyed chocolate with chili powder, so I don’t see it as too much of a stretch that vanilla ice cream would also work when paired with chili powder. Heck, some chili powder might be the perfect thing to spice (literally!) up your plain old vanilla ice cream. And if you begin to feel the burn, it shouldn’t be too long before the cool ice cream dulls that tongue-on-fire sensation.

Watermelon and Black Pepper

I’ve professed my love for watermelon through this site on a couple occasions already. That love will never fade and I must admit that combing the melon with black pepper intrigues me. Watermelon can be a very subtle taste, so perhaps the addition of black pepper is simply to bring the devourer back to flavour country aboard the pepper express!

Dark Chocolate and Parmesan Cheese

One suggestion was to enjoy this union as a grilled cheese sandwich and I’m still trying to get my head around that idea. Parmesan is one of the few cheeses I seem to not mind, but mixing it with anything other than a Caesar salad seems like crazy talk to me. I even ran this by cheese guru Mrs. Sip and she couldn’t exactly picture the meal being palatable.

Jalapeno and Strawberries

Most times, these odd pairings feature the coming together of two wildly different flavours. In this case, you have the sweet strawberries being mixed with spicy jalapenos. Each bite would be a mix of competing emotions, with the spice surely winning the battle. I only like jalapenos in small doses on nachos and such, so I don’t think this combo would go over very well for me.

Chocolate and Fried Onions

This concept has me quite intrigued. I think I would enjoy a plate of onion rings with a chocolate drizzle laid over them or a little dish of the sweet stuff on the side to dip the rings in. Hell, deep fry anything and dunk it in chocolate and you’ll probably come up with a decent, gluttonous snack. I’ll put money on the fact this concept was first dreamt up in the American south and for that, we thank you!

McDonalds Fries and Hot Fudge Sundae

This combination was brought to our attention by an Australian. The Aussies are known for doing crazy things, but this being on the tamer side, Mrs. Sip and I gave it a shot are were surprised at how well the two products came together. The salt sticks known as McDonalds fries pair very well with the sweetness of hot fudge and the creamy vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

French Fries and Ranch Dressing

I should be a spokesperson for ranch dressing. I mean, just like the Frank’s Red Hot commercials, I put that sh*t on everything… tacos, sandwiches, pizza, chicken, pasta, and especially French fries. A new combo I’ve been working on of late is to mix ranch dressing with honey garlic sauce before dousing the above items with this hybrid of sweet and tangy that will blow your mind. Patent pending!

Ketchup and Macaroni & Cheese

This is another one that I’ve been doing for years, since I was a little sipper, and don’t find it an odd pairing at all, but it came up a few times in the course of my research for this article. I prefer my mac n’ cheese to be leftovers, where the cheese has dried, rather than fresh with gooey, slimy cheese. Then, just splat some catsup over the bowl, mix it up and you have a perfect quick meal.

Peanut Butter and Bacon

I love peanut butter and I love bacon, so it seems mixing the two together might be a no-brainer. I’ve enjoyed both in chocolate, so perhaps we’d be looking at our first triple threat food pairing if we combined all three together. A PB&B sandwich actually sounds pretty tempting… delicious even. I’m pretty sure I’m going to make one to enjoy with today’s shot du jour.

Drink #201: Melon Ball

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Watermelon Ball

What is your favourite odd food pairing? Give me your best recipes and perhaps I’ll do another post on reader suggestions and how well I was able to stomach them. Sounds like fun for all, doesn’t it!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The Watermelon Ball was a nice touch and the shooter was delicious. I was curious about Pineapple Juice being part of the recipe, but it worked well with the Melon Liqueur and you can’t ever knock Vodka for fear of a Vodka Belt reprisal!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Category Archives: Shots & Shooters