Mixer Mania #13 – Made in Canada

Apparently, some of the credit for the development of Cream Soda as we know it today goes to Canadian James William Black. That got me thinking about all the other amazing things our great country has played a role in creating. Here are some of those items:

Insulin: So, while I can blame Canada for inventing delicacies such as Poutine and Nanaimo Bars, I can also thank it for creating the insulin many of us will need when diabetes strikes. We also brought the Pacemaker into existence, for what I can only assume were similar reasons.

Telephone: Canada has made great strides in the communications industry, also developing Walkie-Talkies, the BlackBerry (remember when these were must-have phone devices) and phone communication in the first place.

Cat on Phone

Light Bulb: If you’re afraid of the dark, you have Canada to thank for keeping things illuminated.

Zipper: This is one I’m not proud of, as zippers – particularly those I’m often asked to help Mrs. Sip with on dresses – are an enemy of the state for the Sip Advisor.

Standard Time: Do you feel the seconds of your life ticking away? Um, you’re welcome, I guess.

Pager: Providing the drug dealer and call girl industries with vital technological tools.

Pagers and Pay Phones.jpg

Prosthetic Hand: Thus making Darth Vader’s life, in a galaxy far far away, that much easier.

Snowblower/Snowmobile: Given Canadian winters, these were inevitable discoveries, whether you prefer to clean the white stuff up, or play in it.

Jockstrap: Men everywhere owe the protection of their junk to us Canadians, who saw a need and satisfied it.

Trivial Pursuit: While not as notorious for breaking up relationships and friendships as games like Monopoly and to a lesser extent Uno, Trivial Pursuit can certainly cause rifts between friends, families and couples.

Trivial Pursuit

Instant Replay: It figures Canadians would be to blame for this. We just love our hockey so much that we like to watch it over and over again, analyzing every minute detail.

Garbage Bag: I’m amazed in took until 1950 for some schmuck to place a bag in a bin. What did they do before this landmark discovery?

Caesar Cocktail: Trumping the Bloody Mary by leaps and bounds, the delicious drink is a staple of the Sip Advisor’s summer enjoyment.

Wonderbra: Everybody loves boobies, but it took a Canadian to enhance their presentation.

Mixer Mania #13: Ghost

Ghost.JPG

  • 2 oz Vanilla Rum
  • 1 oz Whiskey
  • Top with Cream Soda
  • Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

Honourable mentions go to our vast list of sports creations, including Ice Hockey, Basketball, Lacrosse, Five-Pin Bowling and even Chuckwagon Racing, proving Canadians are more than a little crazy.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.25 Sips out of 5):
Given the name of the drink, I guess I was supposed to use clear Cream Soda, but whateves. I also subbed Cachaca in for the Rum and went with Vanilla Whiskey to add that element. Each sip of the cocktail reminded me of medicine at the beginning, before fading into a decent tasting experience, thus its lower score.

August 16 – Columbo

Private Dicks

I like a good mystery and these gumshoes have offered some of the greatest examples of sleuthing known to the world. They each employ their own tactics, but the end result is always the same: the bad guy is punished for their crime and the good guy feels some sort of redemption. Here are the Top 5 detectives:

#5: Rescue Rangers

Sometimes, some crimes go slipping through the cracks (did anyone out there sing that opening!?)… and that’s when you need the Rescue Rangers: Chip, Dale, Gadget, and Monterey Jack (plus his little buddy Zipper). This classic Disney Afternoon animation block cartoon sees the legendary Chip and Dale and company solve crimes, such as missing pets and all the other stuff the real police don’t feel like investigating. The gang also regularly battle such villains as Fat Cat and Professor Norton Nimnul. Interestingly, Chip and Dale weren’t even originally planned to be part of the show, but were used to add some established Disney characters to the series.

Chip & Dale

#4: Ace Ventura

Of the Pet Detective variety, Ace is an unconventional investigator and devout animal lover. When hired to solve the case of missing Miami Dolphins mascot and real-life dolphin, Snowflake, he becomes embroiled in a complex mystery involving a disgruntled ex-player and Dolphins superstar quarterback Dan Marino. Can he crack the case before the Dolphins’ next big game and bring Snowflake home safely? This role launched the career of Jim Carrey and the surprise hit even produced a sequel, When Nature Calls, which sadly didn’t live up to the first film.

#3: Magnum P.I.

Thomas Magnum is a fine private detective. He’s willing to work on everything from cases involving cheating spouses to more serious stuff like drug rings and assassination plots. The former Vietnam veteran gets a ton of help from his buddies TC, Rick and even Higgins, all while living the good life in Robin Masters’ Hawaiian home. Played by the dreamy Tom Selleck, the iconic role had to be good, as he even gave up playing Indiana Jones thanks to the series’ shooting schedule. There has been talk of a movie or TV series remake, but I just don’t know if it could ever measure up to the original.

Magnum Man

#2: Sherlock Holmes

Along with his companion (and I don’t mean to make it sound like they are lovers… although I’m sure some have explored this premise), Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes is certainly London’s finest sleuth and is perhaps the world’s greatest. The creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Holmes has appeared in countless forms of media. Some of my favourites include the recent movies with Robert Downey, Jr., the current BBC TV series starring Benedict Cumberbatch, and the animated Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century. With Holmes, you must always remember that the game is afoot!

#1: Lt. Columbo

I grew up on the disheveled detective and it’s probably because of him that I haven’t become a criminal mastermind… well, that and to be a mastermind, you need to have a fully-functioning brain. Peter Falk is a god damn legend in my books and all Mrs. Sip can do is roll her eyes when I stumble upon a Columbo mini-movie and have a brief celebration. Although she’s often mentioned, we never see Mrs. Columbo throughout the entirety of the series and we also never learn Lt. Columbo’s first name. Many have speculated that it’s Frank, as it appears when his LAPD ID badge is shown close up. Oh, one more thing, Columbo loves chili as much as he loves solving murders!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Columbo

Columbo Shot

  • 0.75 oz Campari
  • 0.25 oz Orange Juice
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Garnish with a Cigar

The Sip Advisor would make a horrible detective. Sure, I like solitude and spying on folks can be fun, but you can only get so drunk while on a stakeout and I would find the job cramping my current lifestyle. Plus, there’s the whole critical thinking aspect and all you little sippers know that isn’t in my wheelhouse!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I’m not sure if this shot (or cocktail I’ve shrunken down to shooter form) was actually meant in homage of the greatest detective of all-time, but I’m using it in that way anyway… there is an Italian connection between the character and Campari, so maybe there’s a match there. And how about that garnish!? Columbo was often seen smoking a stogie, so why not include it with the shooter. It all goes down okay and that bitter Campari aftertaste doesn’t kill like it usually does.

August 10 – Zipper

Shopping Spree

While it may be a favourite summer activity for a number of folks out there (even little sippers), it must be shared that the big cheese himself, the Sip Advisor, loathes shopping.

I feel that shopping is akin to a deadly disease. It has infected numerous victims, male and female alike and it’s coming for me next.

women-logic

I’m one of those types that only goes shopping when I need something and in those cases, I zip through the store like speedy gonzales on crack (could you imagine?), my mission to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, avoiding infection in every department. I don’t want to explore every single aisle, or “just browse”.

On occasion, Mrs. Sip and I will venture down to the United States for a shopping excursion, but I’m mostly there for potential liquor and mixer finds, food court enjoyment, and grocery shopping. Being forced to join Mrs. Sip in any of the clothing stores she wants to peruse sends me into child-like temper tantrums. Even when she’s shopping for lingerie at Victoria’s Secret, I work diligently to accelerate the process. “Of course those will look good on you, hon.” Psssh, as if I want to be responsible for her being clothed at all.

victorias-secret

In the average year, I’m forced to go on one spring shopping trip (at the vile hands of Mrs. Sip). It’s not like I’m cognizant of this plan, but we do so much travelling that inevitably I find myself in a mall and, without even realizing what’s transpiring, I’m trying on multiple clothing items. With my head still spinning, I’m walking out of the store with new jeans, shirts, and in rare cases, animal print underwear.

I try at all costs to avoid adding to my wardrobe, frivolously keeping items that have well run their course of usefulness. Boxers and socks with holes, jeans with small tears, jackets with non-functional zippers, shoes that should not be worn on rainy days, etc. I try to hide these items from Mrs. Sip through deception and sleight of hand, but the illusion is often eventually exposed… I’m just not that good of a magician.

old clothes

Of course, everything I’ve written here today goes out the window when I’m liquor shopping. In that case, I want to see everything – sometimes multiple times. I want to examine products, price compare, try things on, make sure I get the right size, and don’t mind blowing up my credit card over a splurge.

If people like other forms of shopping, that’s cool. I’m not here to discriminate. Just don’t drag me along with you. We can achieve harmony, folks… one purchase at a time!

Drink #222: Zipper

Zipper Shooter

  • 0.5 oz Tequila
  • 0.5 oz Grand Marnier
  • 0.5 oz Irish Crème
  • Garnish with Orange Wedge

So, am I right or wrong in my assessment of the shopping phenomena? Mrs. Sip and I have a little wager going on with regards to this, so please take the time to vote in favour of your buddy, your pal, the Sip Advisor!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked the taste of this shooter, especially the Grand Marnier orange liqueur. The mix all went down easy and there was no overwhelming or harsh flavour that I worried about coming from the Tequila.