August 10 – Zipper

Shopping Spree

While it may be a favourite summer activity for a number of folks out there (even little sippers), it must be shared that the big cheese himself, the Sip Advisor, loathes shopping.

I feel that shopping is akin to a deadly disease. It has infected numerous victims, male and female alike and it’s coming for me next.


I’m one of those types that only goes shopping when I need something and in those cases, I zip through the store like speedy gonzales on crack (could you imagine?), my mission to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, avoiding infection in every department. I don’t want to explore every single aisle, or “just browse”.

On occasion, Mrs. Sip and I will venture down to the United States for a shopping excursion, but I’m mostly there for potential liquor and mixer finds, food court enjoyment, and grocery shopping. Being forced to join Mrs. Sip in any of the clothing stores she wants to peruse sends me into child-like temper tantrums. Even when she’s shopping for lingerie at Victoria’s Secret, I work diligently to accelerate the process. “Of course those will look good on you, hon.” Psssh, as if I want to be responsible for her being clothed at all.


In the average year, I’m forced to go on one spring shopping trip (at the vile hands of Mrs. Sip). It’s not like I’m cognizant of this plan, but we do so much travelling that inevitably I find myself in a mall and, without even realizing what’s transpiring, I’m trying on multiple clothing items. With my head still spinning, I’m walking out of the store with new jeans, shirts, and in rare cases, animal print underwear.

I try at all costs to avoid adding to my wardrobe, frivolously keeping items that have well run their course of usefulness. Boxers and socks with holes, jeans with small tears, jackets with non-functional zippers, shoes that should not be worn on rainy days, etc. I try to hide these items from Mrs. Sip through deception and sleight of hand, but the illusion is often eventually exposed… I’m just not that good of a magician.

old clothes

Of course, everything I’ve written here today goes out the window when I’m liquor shopping. In that case, I want to see everything – sometimes multiple times. I want to examine products, price compare, try things on, make sure I get the right size, and don’t mind blowing up my credit card over a splurge.

If people like other forms of shopping, that’s cool. I’m not here to discriminate. Just don’t drag me along with you. We can achieve harmony, folks… one purchase at a time!

Drink #222: Zipper

Zipper Shooter

  • 0.5 oz Tequila
  • 0.5 oz Grand Marnier
  • 0.5 oz Irish Crème
  • Garnish with Orange Wedge

So, am I right or wrong in my assessment of the shopping phenomena? Mrs. Sip and I have a little wager going on with regards to this, so please take the time to vote in favour of your buddy, your pal, the Sip Advisor!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked the taste of this shooter, especially the Grand Marnier orange liqueur. The mix all went down easy and there was no overwhelming or harsh flavour that I worried about coming from the Tequila.



2 thoughts on “August 10 – Zipper

  1. This aversion to shopping must run the family. I remember your cousin, C-sipper, while shopping at Woodward’s, informing us that he was allergic to women’s clothing. This was overheard by many ladies shopping around us and we all had a good laugh. Imagine us dragging the poor boy shopping with his mom, sis and grandma, too many women for him!

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