Beer Christenings
There are some pretty clever beer names out there… a lot of them, to be honest. Today, I’ve tried to narrow down some of the best I’ve seen or heard of and hopefully we can all have some laughs thanks to these inventive brewers.
Hell or High Watermelon – 21st Amendment
One of my favourite beers I’ve sadly only been able to try once. I’ve tried a couple other watermelon and wheat-based concoctions, but Hell or High Watermelon is by far my preferred option. I happily sipped on it at Beer 39 in San Francisco and although I’ve found stores where I can pick it up when I’m in the U.S., it’s hard to justify using my liquor allowance on beer. 21st Amendment also makes the Beerly Legal Lager, which is another crafty name for a brew.
Hoptimus Prime – Ruckus (and others)
There are a lot of beers that play with the word hop in their name (Smoother Hoperator, Stop, Hop and Roll, and Hoppy Ending are a few that come to mind), but Hoptimus Prime is is by far the best, as the companies (there are multiple) play on the Optimus Prime Transformers character. This kind of makes me want to see the Autobots get their drink on, which would be like Bender from Futurama getting blitzed but with so much more destruction!
Kilt Lifter – Pike (and others)
This ale seems to be a common release from a number of different companies. Pike is one of the more popular and also a micro-brewery/pub I have personally visited and enjoyed thoroughly nearly every time I’m in Seattle, Washington. I’ve even tried the Kilt Lifter despite not being a big ale drinker, as you have to try something with a name like this when the opportunity arises!
Panty Peeler – Midnight Sun
Well, we all hope this is the end result of a night drinking with the missus! Sticking with the removal of clothes, started by the Kilt Lifter above, the Panty Peeler features an 8.5% alcohol content, which just may accelerate the removal of clothing. It is described as a Belgian triple with American boldness and originally went under a different name, but received its new moniker over time. Gee, I wonder how that happened!
Blithering Idiot – Weyerbacher
Clearly, the fine folks at Weyerbacher know exactly what their customers become after consuming their products! I know I’ve had my fair share of “Blithering Idiot” moments after downing a few too many pints. This barley wine ale has a great label featuring an evil looking jester that just may haunt your dreams if you turn into a blithering idiot yourself.
Duck Duck Gooze – The Lost Abbey
The name of this beer is a play on the gueuze style, which is a Belgian fermentation technique, resulting in brews dubbed Brussels Champagne. When drinking Duck Duck Gooze, you should then play a complete trashed version of the classic children’s game, wobbling around the circle as you chase down your opponent and walloping them good when you catch them. Apparently, this beer is only released once every three years, so you’ll want to grab it if you ever see it.
Boom Shakalager – Terrapin Side Project
This takes me back to the days of NBA Jam, being on fire, and the announcer shouting “BOOM SHAKALAKA” as you performed a mega dunk, slamming the basketball straight to hell! The 9% alcohol content will definitely have you “on fire”, similar to NBA Jam, but your dunking skills are probably in need of major work and I predict any number of serious court injuries if you try to slam a ball while buzzing on Boom Shakalager!
Effinguud – Valley Brew
The makers of this beer have a very high opinion of it. With their confidence fully behind the brew, it gives me complete faith in the sour/wild ale. Similar to the tactic used by Effen Vodka, Effinguud will get your attention with its name and hopes to keep it with its taste. I wonder if you would be in line for a refund if you had a bad experience with the drink?Would it be false advertising?
CA$H 4 Golden Ale – Pipeworks
We’ve all seen or heard about the Cash for Gold stores, where customers can exchange their jewelry and other trinkets for money (it was even parodied on a recent episode of South Park). Now you can apparently get some currency in exchange for trading in your beer. I have yet to see one of their locations, but I have to admit, I’m not really searching, preferring to drink my beer (perhaps a CA$H 4 Golden Ale), rather than exchange it.
For Those About to Bock – HopWorks
We salute you! While most people like to combine their drinking with the hard rock music of AC/DC (sorry, there’s no lightning bolt for the ‘/’ symbol), this company took it a step further and named their beer based on the band’s hit ‘For Those About to Rock’. Taking the Bock style of beer, which is a traditional German strong brew, HopWorks has made the perfect libation for heavy drinkers and hard rockers alike.
Nonethewizer – Drakes
I figured this beer would be of the Hefeweizen variety, but it’s actually a Kölsch/Altbier brew. I feel like Nonethewizer would be a perfect beer to be sneaking around, leaving people none-the-wiser that you’re actually getting smashed. It could be enjoyed at work, while at your child’s school events, during excruciating dry social occasions, and really anywhere else a beer would hit the spot but is looked down upon by the rest of society!
Drink #208: Beneath the Sea
- 0.5 oz Blue Curacao
- 0.5 oz Vodka
- 0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
- Drop a couple drops of GIB Raspberry Ale
- Garnish with Shark Candy
That wraps up Beer Cocktail Week at The Sip. I hope you’ve all enjoyed this trip down brewery lane and you’ve remembered the old saying: liquor before beer, you’re in the clear… beer before liquor, never been sicker. Although, I’m not too sure how it goes when we’ve been combining the two all week!
Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I kind of wish I had picked a beer shooter that involved more than a few drop of the brew, but this seemed like a neat option among too many lame ones. The layering that was supposed to occur didn’t and the seaweed effect with adding the raspberry beer drops never worked either. Still, any excuse to use a gummy shark is a good one!
Sip Advisor 