October 10 – Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Posted on October 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Cocktail Creations

There are some pretty interesting fictional cocktails out their in media land. I vow to try each and every one of them eventually. Here’s what made it to the top of the wishlist!

Flaming Homer/Moe – The Simpsons

When Homer Simpson is stuck at home with his terrible step-sisters and not a drop of beer to be found, he panics and puts together a cocktail made of all the booze he has left, accidentally adding some children’s cough medicine to the mix. Ash from one of his step-sister’s cigarettes lights the concoction on fire and makes it taste amazing. When Homer shares the recipe with bartender Moe Szyslak, Moe steals the drink and markets it as a Flaming Moe, gaining fame and fortune until Homer reveals the secret ingredient as revenge.

The Flaming Moe is actually served at Universal Studios: Florida… another reason to go back to that amazing park!

Screaming Viking – Cheers

When Cheers has one bartender too many, the regulars want to keep Woody Boyd on the job over newcomer Wayne. When Wayne bets his job against being able to make any drink ordered, the Cheers gang makes up this cocktail on the fly in order to throw Wayne off. Of course, it’s pretty hard to replicate a recipe that doesn’t exist. The drink has since been produced by a couple of bars with varying recipes. Unless it’s served while you’re saddled up between Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin, it just wouldn’t feel right.

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, the drink is described as “the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head” and it “is like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick”. The drink has been created in reality for stage productions of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and at bars around the world. Suggested recipes I was able to find largely just throw a ton of different boozes into the mix.

Green Russian – Archer

Absinthe and milk… a winning combination? Just think about it, you get your daily calcium nourishment, as well as an elixir meant to make you trip balls. This potent cocktail is the invention of Pam Poovey, director of human resources at the ISIS spy agency. Pam can often be seen walking around bars with her own personal booze chilling units, so it’s no surprise she is a liquor hound. She will even pour absinthe directly into a carton of milk! There are other Green Russian recipes available online, but I think Pam was on the right track with her rendition.

Kidney Killer – American Dad

Francine Smith was once a hard-partying girl along with her partner in crime Kelly Wilk. When Kelly comes back into Francine’s life, the two try to recreate their wild times, with Haley Smith insisting she can keep up with the women. Haley drinks the fabled Kidney Killer and winds up in need of a kidney that Francine can’t offer, herself a victim of the booze. There is a Kidney Killer recipe on the internet. It combines tequila and Southern Comfort into a shot glass. The jury’s out as to how many you need to drink to actually kill your kidney!

Thankstini – How I Met Your Mother

This martini of vodka, cranberry juice and a bouillion cube is perfect for celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday. It’s like having a home-cooked family meal in a cocktail glass. Inventor Barney Stinson has provided me with the perfect libation for upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations. All that’s missing is the turkey, potatoes and stuffing, but I’m working on it. Stinson also has drink suggestions for Christmas, Arbor Day, Independence Day, and Ramadan!

Drink #283: Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
1 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Orange Juice and half Sweet & Sour Mix
Splash of Grenadine
Garnish with Berries

Look forward to future posts about fictional companies, restaurants, sports teams, sodas, and just about anything else this old, battered mind can think up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Sadly, the tonic didn’t send Mrs. Sip and myself into the throes of passion (as it worked in the cartoon… let down by TV once again!). Despite that small discrepancy, this drink was pretty good. All the citrus and berry notes were very enjoyable and the liquors did their jobs, as well.

October 7 – Superman Cocktail

Posted on October 7, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Celebrity Collectables

Jay Leno is known for his car collection and George Cloonery for his avid motorcycle passion. These celebrities, however, take collecting to whole new levels!

TV-Show Board Games – Quentin Tarantino

A man after my own heart! How many of us wanted to have the various home-edition games given to losers of a TV game show? Growing up, I had Classic Concentration, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, and Jeopardy, among others. Of course, the oft-deranged Tarantino would choose this as his obsession. We differ in that he prefers the classic games based on shows like I Dream of Jeanie, The A-Team, and The Dukes of Hazzard and movies such as Dawn of the Dead and Platoon.

Who wouldn’t want to have this in their man-cave!

Model Trains – Rod Stewart

Pa Sip is a train-o-phile, but I can forgive him for that! Apparently Stewart also have a desire to put on the conductor’s hat and guide his own mini locomotives around a track, complete with fake landscapes, homes, and people. When Model Railroader did a cover story on the singer for their December 2007 issue, Stewart exclaimed, “It means more to me to be on the cover of Model Railroader than to be on the cover of a music magazine.” Perhaps you choose the wrong field then, Roddy!

Typewriters – Tom Hanks

I’m a little surprised Hanks accepted the male lead role for You’ve Got Mail, given his professed love for the typewriter. He was basically helping to usher in the death of the device… or maybe that was his plan all along, driving up the market price for the collection he had amassed. How does one collect typewriters? Do you go all crazy over the feel of the keys or is it the roller that gets your motor running. Perhaps Mr. Gump could let us in on his trade secrets.

Superman Paraphernalia – Shaquille O’Neal

Big Diesel is apparently a huge fan of Clark Kent, letting the super hero’s symbol and colours adorn everything from vehicles to even his bedspread. That’s thinking highly of yourself if you’re warning every person that shares that mattress with you that you think you’re Superman between the sheets! Perhaps Shaq Daddy is, but that’s a question I like not having the answer to.

Knives – Angelina Jolie

I’m going to pass on this one… I vehemently despise Jolie and I have a few idea of what she could do with her collection. I’ll leave it at that.

Star Trek Memorabilia – Ben Stiller

While collecting Star Trek items is a pretty common ailment (yes, I called it an ailment, likely causing my entire Star Trek fan demographic to never return to this site) and industries such as Comic-Con have been born thanks to fans’ passion for the show, I wouldn’t have pegged Stiller as a Trekkie. The highlight of Stiller’s collection is reportedly the set of Spock Vulcan ears he has had signed by Leonard Nimoy, himself.

Surrounded by more than 1,400 Marines and sailors, actor Ben Stiller greets fans, signs autographs and poses for photos before treating troops to an advance screening of DreamWorksÕ ÒTropic Thunder.Ó

Ben Stiller gets mobbed by geeks just like his Star Trek idols!

Beanie Babies – Lou Ferrigno

Who could have thought that big, tough Lou Ferrigno (he played the Hulk on the 1970’s action show The Incredible Hulk… and I mean the green monster, not Dr. Bruce Banner) is a fan and collector of Beanie Babies!? You know, the cute, cuddly, bean-bag-filling stuffed toys. That seems like such a wild contrast, but perhaps Ferrigno is simply a child at heart. Hulk can smash the Beanie Babies all he wants… they’re practically indestructible.

Pig Figurines – Janet Jackson

Apparently Janet Jackson has a thing for pig figurines, proving that every member of the Jackson family has their own oddities. Why pigs? Why not? I, myself, like pigs. They provide me with glorious bacon, pulled pork, ham, sausage, and many other gluttonous items. I suppose they can be cute, as well. At least when they’re not covered in mud and slop and other filth. Too bad they always seem to be covered in these substances until they hit my plate!

Drink #280: Superman Cocktail

0.75 Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
0.75 Peach Schnapps
Splash of Blue Curacao
Top with Lemonade
Float Grenadine
Garnish with an Orange Peel Cape

It should also be mentioned that Lindsay Lohan collects arrest warrants and Miley Cyrus has a passion for tongues… I just wish she’d keep hers in her god damn mouth.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
There are other Superman Cocktail recipes out there, but I picked this one for simplicity and ingredients I enjoy (and boy did I enjoy them here!). It wasn’t easy putting together my Orange Peel Cape, but I hope I kind of got the message across. I love how the blue and red colours mixed together in the photo!

October 6 – Obsession

Posted on October 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Curious Collections

Growing up as an aspiring Sip Magnate, I had a number of collections I was dedicated to: I collected hockey cards, wrestling figures, DVDs, and now liquor. Today, I’d like to look at some of the more specialized collections in the world, but don’t worry, I’m not here to gross anyone out and won’t look at the kind of people that collect their own ear wax or belly button lint. Here are some of the most interesting collections I found:

Soda

It’s hard to believe there’s even a culture of people that collect various beverages, but it does bring up a sort of nostalgia when you see a beloved product from your childhood that is no longer being distributed. The one problem with this collection is that you can only look at it and not taste it, which is the whole reason you probably enjoyed the product in the first place. I guess you could drink the beverage and just keep the can. That would make your collection even rarer.

Handcuffs

This dude (Joseph W. Lauher) must really be into BDSM to have so many pairs of handcuffs in his possession. I guess they do provide interesting stories and history, as well, but you can’t deny the handcuffs roll in sexual deviancy. Lauher has everything from thumbcuffs to leg irons and has even created pages about escape artists. If this gets you going, not that there’s anything wrong with that (Mrs. Sip!), you might want to check out his collection.

Sugar Packets

Phil Miller began his collection of sugar packets in 1978. While you wouldn’t think there’s much variance to packets around the world, you have to remember that most companies make their own packets complete with their own branding. Miller has two pages dedicated to packets found at restaurants and another for hotel finds. There’s even three pages full of U.S. presidents adorning the coffee enhancing products.

Chocolate Wrappers

Let’s be honest, everyone loves chocolate. Even those that suffer from lactose intolerance will find a loophole to be able to enjoy the cocoa stuff. Once you’ve eaten the treat however, is there really any reason to keep the wrapper. I say no, but Martin Mihál may tend to disagree. He has collected wrappers from around the world… seriously, it looks like every country is represented on his site. Brotha surely has diabetes by this point!

Scratch Cards

Mrs. Sip loves scratch cards. When we’re out grabbing groceries, she’ll often pick up a card for fun and the chance to win a couple dollars. Thankfully, she hasn’t taken her passion for scratching to the level Victor Paul Taylor has. Taylor could be sitting on a gold mine of winnings, but he may never discover how much money is actually there. He keeps his precious card in mint condition, including never having scratched any of the possible winners.

Toothpaste

Dr. Val Kolpakov may have taken his dentistry too far with this obsession. Sure, toothpaste comes in a variety of styles and flavours, but does that make them special? I suppose the same can be said for my liquor collection, but at least I drink the stuff. You just know that this is the kind of guy that gives out toothbrushes and toothpaste for Halloween… only his stuff is vintage, which means expired and probably not worth a dime.

Napkins

Ma Sip loves her festive napkins, but even she would never take her passion so far as to collect the mouth and hand wipes. Helena Vnouckova, on the other hand, has done exactly that, putting together a collection of napkins that would be suitable for any occasion. Although, I doubt she ever puts them out for use and instead hordes them for her selfish needs. Similarly, there’s also a guy who collects moist towellette packs. Perhaps the two should hook up!?

Condiment Packets

I’ve shared my love of various condiments with all you little sippers. And while I thoroughly believe that sauces make a meal, it has never crossed my mind to collect these condiment delivery devices. Like the sugar packets above, each eatery usually brands their own packaging, making items unique. I wonder if he has any discontinued sauces that could go for great sums of cash on the condiment black market!?

Drink #279: Obsession

1 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
1 oz Crème de Cacao
1 oz Chocolate Liqueur
Top with Milk
Garnish with Chocolate Shavings

After researching for this article, it seems that if an item exists, someone collects it. Join me tomorrow as we look at celebrity collectors and the odd things they choose to spend their millions of dollars on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
My favourite part of this cocktail was the Chocolate Shavings… that’s not to say the other ingredients weren’t good, as well, but the chocolate was delicious and it being dark and bitter helped balance the overall sweetness of the drink.

October 3 – Waikiki Wave

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Aloha

As many of you little sippers know, I recently celebrated my 30th birthday in Hawaii! While there, I did what the Sip Advisor does best: got smashed all around the island, leaving a path of destruction not seen since the attack on Pearl Harbor… too soon!? Here is an account of my misadventures and some great spots to hit if you are ever in Honolulu:

Birthday Crawl and 30-Drink Challenge

Mrs. Sip and I arrived on the beautiful island shortly before the clock turned over to my birthday. At exactly midnight, I sipped my first drink and was promptly challenged to down 30 libations before the day was done. I had six down the hatch before going to bed and awoke to a shot around 8am. After picking up friends at the airport, the birthday pub crawl was off and running. Over the rest of the day, we hit Jimmy Buffett’s, LuLu’s, Tiki’s, Rum Fire, and The Yardhouse, where I destroyed a half-yard of brew for my 30-in-30!

Happy Hours and Mai-Tais

Hawaii, perhaps more so than any other place in the world, is famous for their midday and late night happy hours. You can bet that we took advantage of as many as possible, despite the collection of bottles we had waiting for us in our apartment. A must-have drink while vacationing on any of the Hawaiian Islands is the Mai-Tai. The Mai-Tai is among Mrs. Sip’s all-time favourite offerings, while I enjoyed a couple at Chuck’s Steak House (which is owned by Duke’s, another not to be missed dinner spot with a phenomenal salad bar located at the Outrigger hotel). They even came in tiki-head shaped glasses!

Yardhouse Options

While we enjoyed many locations, our group’s favourite hangout was probably The Yardhouse, which we visited nearly every day. Thankfully, I’ve learned this chain exists near enough to me that I will get to visit again soon. The food was great and the drinks even better. They have countless offerings on tap (definitely something for everyone) and I made sure to try nearly every wheat or white beer they had in stock. Food was also pretty good with boneless chicken wings and half priced happy hour pizzas!

Dave and Busters

In a previous article, I outlined some restaurants that I wanted to visit. One of those was Dave and Busters, which I learned only days before our vacation had a location in Hawaii. When Mrs. Sip and I stumbled upon the outlet, we made sure to enjoy some food (delicious pretzel dogs), copious amounts of beer (a shuttle of 100 ounces) and their midway games! We had a wonderful time, highlighted by a four-way air hockey contest, yours truly defeating Mrs. Sip on a massive Connect 4 game, and also scoring the only 5/5 on the trivia challenge!

Top of Waikiki

This top-rated bar was a wonderful retreat from Waikiki’s bustling streets. As we rotated around the bar, it was fun to check out the restaurant’s liquor collection and indulge in a few delicious cocktails. Our bartender, Kory, was second only to your very own Sip Advisor and catered to our every whim. It was here (as well as at Rum Fire) that I learned how much I enjoy and appreciate drinks with a little heat, whether through hot sauces or being mixed with peppers. My favourite recipe was the Naughty or Nice, which combined rum, strawberry puree, mint, soda, and Serrano peppers.

Beach Time

While I’m not a huge fan of going to the beach (the poor man’s pool, as I call it), we did spend a number of afternoon hours soaking up the sun and getting filthy in the ocean and sand. A highlight, was making our own midnight pizza and taking it out onto one of the beach piers (along with some liquid sunshine) and enjoying the waves crashing against our bare feet as we ate, drank and pondered.

Boozy Ending

Mrs. Sip and I spent our last night in paradise kicking back and relaxing (not to mention polishing off every last bit of alcohol in our place). The only thing I like about coming home from vacation is introducing the liquor we purchase (our babies) to their new abode. On this trip, Mrs. Sip and I picked up bottles of Macadamia Nut Liqueur, Rock Coconut Rum, Apple Pie Moonshine, Malibu Red, and some mini bottles of various flavours to be featured soon!

Drink #276: Waikiki Wave (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

1.5 oz Spiced Rum (I used Bacardi Oakheart)
Top with POG (Passion-Orange-Guava) Juice
Splash of Ginger Ale
Garnish with Hawaii Cookie and Macadamia Nuts

I’d say the only area that Hawaii drinking needs improvement is that you can’t drink on the street and beach. If the island could remedy this and become a little more like Las Vegas in their public alcohol consumption laws, that would be amazing. Especially with all the ABC stores, I just wanted to grab a beer, crack it and walk a block to the next outlet!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This was an okay drink, but I think my Ginger Ale had gone a little flat and wasn’t the awesome ingredient it usually is. All the garnishes were certainly fun to eat after the drink was consumed and the munchies had truly kicked in!

October 2 – Raspberry Dew Drop

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Seasonal Mythology

Greek mythology is pretty crazy. Somehow, some way, the myths can explain why everything exists today… including each of the four seasons. Here is the mythological explanation for all seasons:

Winter

The story goes like this: Hades, that underworld bad ass (he even has his own beer), kidnaps Persephone to be his wife (if only it were that easy!). Zeus, that omnipotent ruler, decrees that Persephone should be returned to her mother Demeter (also the goddess of earth). Hades tricks Persephone into eating the food of the dead, which I guess is a mix of bleu cheese and expired fruit, and that means she has to stay in the underworld. In one of the earliest examples of a child custody agreement, Zeus gives both Hades and Demeter half the year to have Persephone. Demeter gets all hormonal and moody when Persephone is with Hades and creates winter. So, if you’re not a fan of sweaters, indoor heating, and ice scrapers, you have Hades to blame for your own misery.

Spring

Sticking with the whole Hades-Persephone-Demeter soap opera storyline, when Persephone returns to her mother Demeter, Demeter gets off her lazy ass and starts feeding mankind again, tending to the various harvests that must be maintained. I guess she had a serious case of empty nest syndrome. Moving on, the world become luscious again and people fatten themselves up, not knowing that summer is around the corner and they better start pulling out their Ab Rollers, Bowflexes, and ThighMasters, again. Next time Mrs. Sip complains of eating too much, I’ll just reference the gods and be done with it.

Summer

The happy times for Persephone and Demeter continue through the wonderful summer, where everyone on earth is happy and frolicking naked (by the way, all you little sippers should see the Sip Advisor frolic… it is a sight to behold… perhaps without the naked part) amongst the tall grass, hot temperatures and warm breezes. Hades is lurking in the shadows, however, and Persephone will soon be his again. For the time being everyone enjoys the bliss of sweet summer and forgets their troubles.

Fall

Persephone must be returned to the underworld and Hades (her father figure-wannabe husband-captor) couldn’t be happier with his prize. Demeter suffers from separation anxiety and doesn’t want to be alone in her misery, so she makes everyone else have to battle bouts of seasonal affective disorder (SAD… not to be confused with SADS – Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome). Just as people think things couldn’t get any worse, they are reminded of Demeter’s behaviour the previous year and folks begin to dread the newly dubbed ‘winter’ that is approaching. As they say on Game of Thrones and I like to bug Mrs. Sip by repeating at inappropriate times: “Winter is coming!”

Drink #275: Raspberry Dew Drop

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Garnish with Raspberries and Lemon Slices

Well, I hope you liked that eschewed view of seasonal changes… thanks for nothing Demeter!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I felt this drink nicely captured the changing of the seasons, although it works best when winter turns into spring. It certainly tasted fantastic and the look came together really well with all the garnishes!

October 1 – Slapshot

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Hockey Tough

It’s not even debatable… hockey players are the toughest athletes in the world. While baseball players miss time with blisters and soccer stars writhe on the pitch and clutch their legs on phantom touches, NHL’ers play through devastating injuries on a regular basis. As the league returns to action tonight for their 2013-14 season, these hombres must be saluted as the toughest of the sporting bunch!

Steve Yzerman (2002)

Steve Yzerman is known as one of the greatest leaders in sports history. In 2002, Yzerman suffered a serious knee injury, but refused to let it keep him down. Yzerman had good reason to continue playing, though. His Detroit Red Wings lifted the 2002 Stanley Cup, mere months after he was an integral member Canada’s 2002 gold medal triumph at the Winter Olympics. Following that glorious year of events, Yzerman had to have his knee completely realigned, but still returned to hockey that season.

Patrice Bergeron (2013)

Continuing to play at a professional level with broken ribs is one thing, but imagine that same injury resulted in a punctured lung. Most normal people can’t even laugh with broken ribs, let alone play a highly physical and demanding sport. Patrice Bergeron played through Stanley Cup Final games with a punctured lung, among other injuries. It’s not like Bergeron didn’t already have a Stanley Cup on his resume, as the Bruins had won the grand prize just two years earlier, but Bergeron continued to play so as not to let down his team.

Jacques Plante (1959)

You’re already pretty tough in my books if you’re willing to stand in front of the net and have shots fired at you, as well as players crashing your crease… you’re even tougher if you did it back in the days of limited padding and no face masks. In a 1959 game, Jacques Plante took a slapshot to face, breaking his nose and cutting him open. Plante simply got stitched up, put on a mask and returned to ice. The occurrence ushered in the goalie mask as a regular protective device in the NHL.

Mario Lemieux (1993)

In January 1993, following repeat Stanley Cup championships and amid another wildly successful season, Mario Lemieux announced that he would be taking some time away from hockey to treat his Hodgkin’s lymphoma cancer diagnosis. Not ever cancer could stop Super Mario, though. He returned to hockey two months later and on the same day as radiation treatment to score a goal and add an assist. He was even given a standing ovation from the opponent Philadelphia Flyers fans, some of the toughest supporters in all of sports.

Gregory Campbell (2013)

There’s something about the current crop of Boston Bruins that is admirable. On top of Patrice Bergeron’s struggles from the Stanley Cup Finals, there is also the case of Gregory Campbell, who stayed on the ice to kill the rest of a penalty after blocking a shot which broke his leg. Campbell struggled to stay in the play and break up whatever he could before hobbling to the bench and leaving the game.

Bobby Baun (1964)

During the Toronto Maple Leafs 1964 Stanley Cup finals series with the Detroit Red Wings, defenseman Bobby Baun broke his leg blocking a Gordie Howe shot. He was taken from the ice on a stretcher, but reemerged on the bench for the overtime period. Although he wasn’t known for his offensive abilities, the hockey gods looked down kindly upon Baun that night and he notched the overtime winner, forcing a game seven. The Leafs would hoist the cup days later with Baun still in the lineup.

Paul Kariya (2003)

Before concussions were such a hot button topic, a player could “get his bell rung” and be back on the ice in no time. But imagine taking one of the hardest open ice body checks in hockey history, from one of hockey’s all-time thunderous hitters and returning to the ice minutes later to score a huge goal, extending your team’s playoff life and championship bid. That’s exactly what Paul Kariya did when Scott Stevens flattened him in game six of their Stanley Cup Final Series.

Drink #274: Slapshot

Rim glass with Pop Rocks
2 oz Tequila (I used Sauza Gold)
Top with half Brisk Strawberry-Melon and half Club Soda
Garnish with Lime Wedge

There are people out there who don’t go to work when they twist their ankle or have a cold… not the noble hockey player, however. Much respect to the brotherhood of hockey players out there. Let the games begin!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was an impressive drink. The Brisk Strawberry-Melon, which had found itself tucked away in the fridge for far too long, came out and had a career-making appearance. No more riding the pine for this mixer… it earned itself a brand spanking new contract with this gutsy performance!

September 30 – The Wink

Posted on September 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Near Misses

Here is part two of my investigative series looking at roles actors and actresses passed on that cost them millions of box office dollars, increased fame, and iconic characters and franchises. Let’s get right on with it!:

Johnny Depp – Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)

Depp’s career could have been launched years before he finally broke through, or perhaps it could have fizzled out much like Matthew Broderick’s has. We’ll never really know, as Depp passed on the role of Ferris Bueller and all of his ditching class hijinks. Had he taken the role, perhaps Depp would have never developed into the eclectic actor he is today and we would have missed out on characters like Edward Scissorhands and Capt. Jack Sparrow.

Michelle Pfeiffer – Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs)

An Oscar could have been Pfeiffer’s prize if she had accepted the offer to play Clarice Starling in the wildly successful (both critically and financially) Silence of the Lambs. It’s not like Pfeiffer saw a drop in her career at that point, later playing Catwoman in Batman Returns, but she missed a rare chance to snatch up an elusive Oscar statue. It seems Pfeiffer made a career of turning down roles, including the female leads Pretty Woman, Basic Instinct, Thelma & Louise, and Evita, among others.

Jeremy Irons – Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

Sticking with Silence of the Lambs, Irons turned down the role of Hannibal Lecter because he found the script to be too violent. So, let me get this straight, it’s okay to voice an evil lion (Scar) who causes his own brother’s death and nearly his nephew’s, as well (in a kids movie, no less), but wearing the face of another human is not okay!? Irons missed out on a movie that swept the Oscars and is best remembered for being an animated kitty.

Hugh Jackman – James Bond (Casino Royale)

On top of playing everyone’s favourite adamantium-infused mutant, Jackman was also offered the role of iconic spy James Bond. He passed on the part, saying he wasn’t ready to hold down two so very notable characters at the same time… then went on to play freakin’ Jean Valjean! Okay, the Les Miserables protagonist isn’t on the same level as the other two, but I have to get something for sitting through that drudgery. On a positive note, Daniel Craig has been perfect as Bond, thus far.

Jackman as Bond could have worked!

Russell Crowe – Wolverine (X-Men)

Speaking of Wolfy, Crowe was originally pegged to play the age-unknown Logan/Wolverine. Rumour has it (or at least the rumour I made up) that Crowe was unable to grow the sideburns necessary for the character and therefore abandoned the project, not wanting to lose any legitimacy if he had used make-up or special effects instead. Crowe and Jackman would later play bitter enemies in Les Mis, with Crowe using his turned down role as inspiration for his hatred towards Jackman’s character.

Dave Chappelle – Bubba (Forrest Gump)

While he has since gone on to have a highly acclaimed TV show (as well as his highly-publicized meltdown and leaving said show), Chappelle was originally offered the role of Bubba in Forrest Gump. Had he taken the part, Chappelle would now have numerous restaurants around the United States in his honour. Perhaps he passed on the character because the slim comedian just couldn’t put back enough shrimp to justify Bubba’s obsession with the seafood.

Jake Gyllenhaal – Jake Sully (Avatar)

Gyllenhaal did finally get to play a cripple (spoiler alert) in Source Code, but he missed out on the Avatar money train and getting to be a computer animated blue guy fighting a mechanized army to save FernGully, the last rainforest. Sam Worthington snatched up the role, which he will reprise for 2016’s Avatar 2 (which has the working subtitle ‘Blue Man Group Rides Again’). It should be noted that Matt Damon also rejected the offer for Avatar.

Drink #273: The Wink

1 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.5 oz Triple Sec
0.25 oz Absinthe
Splash of Simple Syrup
Dash of Peychaud Bitters
Garnish with Lemon Twist

With all the hype recently about who turned down the male lead in 50 Shades of Grey and who eventually accepted the role, it will be interesting to see if there are any regrets in the future. Menopausal women love this garbage, so I smell a big money franchise.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2 Sips out of 5):
This drink is pretty strong and bitter, with the Triple Sec and Simple Syrup only able to do so much to sweeten the mix. After some ice dilution, the cocktail tasted slightly better. It was nice to finally use the Peychaud Bitters Mrs. Sip picked up for me in New Orleans, but I hope to find better recipes to use it in, in the future.

September 27 – No Clue

Posted on September 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Question Master

The Sip Advisor is one of the world’s greatest philosophers. I spend hours each day pondering questions that need to be answered. One of the great issues I’ve been wrestling with for a while now is why do movie theatres not sell potato chips? Like the title of today’s feature drink, I just have no clue!

I believe popcorn to be an inferior product. Getting kernels stuck in my teeth, gums, and throat are completely unpleasant experiences. As Mrs. Sip purchased her usual order of popcorn (with Junior Caramels hidden in her purse to be added) and asked if I wanted anything, I ruffled my brow and contemplated my options.

Should I ask for an expensive chocolate bar or bag of candy? What about a burger, hot dog, or pizza? No, I want potato chips. That would really hit the spot right now.

Except, there are no potato chips to be found at the theatre.

Perhaps theatre operators believe the consumption of chips will be too loud… but eating popcorn isn’t a quiet activity and most locations do sell nacho chips (with that gross, but for some reason tempting cheese sauce).

No, I think what’s going on here is that the popcorn lobbyists know the second chips become available within the hallowed halls of the movie theatre, their business will completely dry up and disappear. This could send the world into some sort of recession, but we can thank the noble potato farmer for pulling the entire world onto its back and out of despair.

Popcorn is relatively cheap to produce and can be marked up extremely (not that theatres instinctively mark up their products!) for a higher profit margin. Money, the root of all popcorn evil!

Upon further examination, I couldn’t find any explanation as to why chips were barred from theatres, but I found an interesting post on a travel site (one which I refuse to mention by name because they ripped off this site’s moniker!) where patrons complained about chips (or crisps as they are known in the U.K.) being sold at productions of The Phantom of the Opera, in London.

If glorious chippies can be consumed in a setting with live actors… thespians, even… why can they not be enjoyed in a movie theatre?

And consider this dismaying fact: a large-sized bag of popcorn (unbuttered!) at the theatre contains the fat content of two Big Mac burgers! Those chips, deep-fried or otherwise don’t look so bad now, do they?

Drink #270: No Clue

2 oz Vodka
1.5 oz Triple Sec
Top with Dr. Pepper
Garnish with Strawberry

I’m imposing a boycott on movie theatres until my precious potato chips are desegregated from the snack population. Until then, I will happily crunch away on the glorious treat, in the comfort of my own home. And so begins the standoff!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I love drinks with Dr. Pepper and this recipe was no different. Triple Sec was a nice compliment to the cherry-flavoured soda. I used an upside down Strawberry to garnish the drink, as I thought it kind of looked like a dunce hat.

September 26 – Lost Generation

Posted on September 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

My Generation

Every person thinks that their generation was the cat’s pajamas. I’m no different. But, in my role as your Sip Advisor, I have to play an impartial role. Therefore, today, I will be examining the highs and lows of my generation. We’re pretty flipping awesome, but we’re not perfect… and here’s why!

Why I’m glad I grew up now:

Technology

The fact that I have lived in different parts of the world (as has Mrs. Sip) and we’ve been able to communicate with each other, as well as friends and family, for absolutely nothing, alone makes me happy that I grew up in this age. Programs and sites like Skype, instant messaging, Facebook, Twitter, MSN (remember MSN?) and others have helped maintain communication with friends and family that normally may have disappeared from my life as a result of the distance separating us.

Flavour Revolution

What I like to think of as the Flavour Revolution has benefitted me in so many ways. Not only am I enjoying all the different liquor and mixer flavours that is part of this experimental boom, but everything from potato chips to condiments has vastly grown from what it was mere years ago. Everyone seems to be trying to come up with the next big thing so that playing around with tried and tested recipes is the norm today. We are not happy to simply rest on our laurels.

No Rush to Have Families

Oh, sweet heaven, thank you for this! My parents didn’t have children until they were about 27 and even for them, that was later than most folks of their generation. I’m just not ready to be unselfish and settle down with kids of my own. Despite Ma and Pa Sip looking forward to grandchildren, it’s just not in the cards right now. Mrs. Sip and I are just living too freely and enjoying our adult years too much to have little ones. It will happen eventually, but until then, party on!

Child of the 80’s

Being a “child of the 80’s” was wicked. Us dudes had Transformers, He-Man, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I guess they still have that now), and so many more treasures. Girls had their My Little Pony, Care Bears, Barbie, and all that other good stuff. We weren’t force-fed a steady diet of Japanimation. And that’s only looking at the TV side of things. Our food had yet to be attacked by zealous health nuts, our music yet to be diluted by voice-altering technology, and movies were allowed to be silly and geared towards kids. It was good, no–scratch that, GREAT times!

Why I hate having grown up now:

Reality Shows

When I was younger, the 6 O’Clock News was the only form of reality programming. Today, it’s all you find on TV. People think they can dance, or sing, or do all sorts of crazy things. They’re volunteering to be thrown into ridiculous situations which they are supposed to survive from, but nobody watching them really wants them to pull through and live to see another day. This all leads to the next thing I hate…

Celebrity Culture

Good lord I hate Celebrity Culture. Everyone wants to be a star and they’re willing to do anything it takes to achieve their 15 minutes of fame. Anytime I’m unfortunate enough to pass by a gossip magazine or television program, I’m blown away by how many names I don’t recognize. If I can identify 50% of the people listed, I consider that a good day… and good days are rare in these here parts. How so many people can be famous for doing so little is mind boggling.

Missed out on Golden Ages of Rock

Because of my birthdate, I was never able to experience the brilliance of bands like The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, etc. live. While other acts have experienced more longevity or reformed with some replacement players, I missed out on seeing them in their prime. It would have been great to live during the days of highly publicized record releases and the music culture of say the 70’s (minus the disco, of course), where bands were followed by diehard fans all around the world.

Death of the Sitcom

There really aren’t that many sitcoms (situational comedies) anymore. Fighting for space amongst dramatic and reality TV (more on this soon) programming, the sitcom has largely been buried and eulogized. There are a few holdouts on the air today, such as Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, and Community, but it’s a dying breed. Each year, a new set of sitcoms debut, with few lucky enough to survive a full season. And the numbers continue to dwindle.

Drink #269: Lost Generation

2 oz Rum (I used Bacardi)
Top with Grapefruit Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Maraschino Cherry Juice
Garnish with Lemon Slices and a Maraschino Cherry

So, what makes your generation the best or the worst? I’m sure with enough responses, I could put together an interesting cross section of why every feels they are the best and the worst, at the same time!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While this drink wasn’t bad by any means, I find Grapefruit Juice to be quite the acquired taste. I was supposed to use Maraschino Cherry Liqueur, but since I had none on hand, I subbed in some Maraschino Cherry Juice for flavouring. Whether the two are remotely similar and can cover one another is a complete mystery!

September 24 – Twister

Posted on September 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Roll the Die

Yesterday I discussed my favourite board and card games and sticking with that topic, these are the games I’ve never played. If anyone wants to join me and do a couple rounds of Candy Land or something, just give me a shout. If you’re willing to foot my travel costs, we’ll get this done!

Twister

Never have I ever played Twister… hmmm, I should say that for my next game of Never Have I Ever! I’m not really sure I want to play either, unless it’s just Mrs. Sip and me and clothing is optional. That is one tangled mess I wouldn’t mind being part of. Otherwise, I’ve always appreciated my own personal space and that of others. It could make a fun drinking game through, with those who lose being punished with shots!

Mouse Trap

As a youngster, I owned Mouse Trap, but I’m certain I never actually played a full contest of the crazy contraption game. By the time you had all the traps set up, which could be a total pain to do, you just wanted to play with that and trap all the mousies. Worst of all, the contraption often didn’t work properly. Does anyone out there also remember Grape Escape? It was similar to Mouse Trap, but you were trying to crush Play-Doh grapes with different devices.

Balderdash

With such a wicked name, you think I would have tried my luck at the classic word definition game. As a writer, I feel I would get upset when I suggested a definition for one of the words and it wasn’t selected as the correct one. That’s when I throw all my cards up in the air, drop a couple dozen curse words, and storm out of the party!

Hungry Hungry Hippos

I know what you’re saying: “Surely, you, you stud of studs, must have played Hungry Hungry Hippos at some point in your life.” Sadly, while I remember having friends who had the game and I remember using the hippo to gobble up the little white ball, I’ve never played an actual competitive contest. Something new for the bucket list, I guess. How cool would it be to play a life-sized version of this game? Jumanji!

Chess

I whole-heartedly believe that Chess is beyond my learning abilities. I tried going through a computer tutorial one time, but it didn’t help matters. Once the game started, I just sat there staring at the screen. Then I played an entire round via the computer “suggest a move” option. I still lost! That’s why I don’t believe I’ve ever played the game before.

Candy Land

The children’s classic Candy Land has never been played by the Sip Advisor, despite his love of candy and other confectionary treats. My version of Candy Land is a shopping trip to Walmart, followed by gorging myself on all the delicious treats I’ve just picked up. If we need a little action, I pretend Mrs. Sip is trying to chase me down to steal my goods and I have maneuver to avoid her attacks!

Dungeons & Dragons

In actuality, we are all geeks in our own special way. That said, I can fully certify that I have never played a role-playing game of this magnitude. I have thoroughly enjoyed the episodes of Big Bang Theory that have centered on the fellas playing the dungeon master’s quest. I have to admit, though, that I’m not really into games that you should remain sober for… too much thinking = bad.

Nightmare

This classic VCR-based board game (remember those!?) was meant to spook the crap out of you, but most people just found the video scenes, particularly the host ‘Gatekeeper’ character, to be comedic. Still, I’d love to turn the lights out one time, throw on this game and see if it is at all scary. I bet I end up having nightmares… who wants in on this action!

Drink #267: Twister

2 oz Vodka (I used Pinnacle Strawberry-Kiwi)
Top with half Orange Juice and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Splash of Strawberry-Banana Juice
Dash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Orange Slices

I hope you enjoyed this nostalgic look back at board and card games as much as I did. Which games have you never played? Together we can end that injustice!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was an interesting mix of flavours thanks to all the different juices. The Strawberry-Kiwi Vodka was a nice touch and those notes came through the strongest.

Sip Advisor

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Category Archives: Crazy & Classic Cocktails