July 19 – Floater

All the Balls

After last week’s look at the best sports movies geared towards a family audience, it’s time to turn up the vulgarity and venture into the world of adult-oriented films… well, not those types of films, but the sports type for teens and adults. Here are the Top 5 grown up sports movies:

#5: Baseketball

From the creators of South Park (Trey Parker and Matt Stone), comes this farce about a world where sports superstars have become so overpaid and corporations dictate athletic competition. A universe where sportsmanship no longer exists and money is the root of all evil. Enter Cooper and Remer, who create a baseball-basketball-beer pong hybrid that eventually grows to become the next great sports phenomenon. Some of the team names from the movie are particularly clever, including the Dallas Felons, Miami Dealers, New Jersey Informants, and San Francisco Ferries (think about that one for a moment!).

baseketball

#4: DodgeBall

The underdog story of a ragtag group trying to save their gym (Average Joe’s), as they dodge, dip, dive, duck, and yes, dodge again versus the super-charged squad of Globo-Gym, which is looking to buy out the smaller competition. The entire cast is hilarious in this movie (particularly, my boy Stephen Root) and the surprise cameos from some judges of the competitions are great as well. A sequel to the movie is in the works and both Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller are expected to reprise their roles. Hopefully they remember that if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!

#3: Happy Gilmore

Adam Sandler kept his string of 90’s hit movies going with this entry. The film sees aspiring hockey star – despite his awful skillset – jump into the world of professional golf, when he’s discovered by a one-handed golf course pro. Things become more serious for Gilmore when his grandma’s house is to be taken away and the only way to get it back is Gilmore’s success on the PGA Tour. In my opinion, along with the success of Tiger Woods, the popularity of this film launched a whole new generation of golf players and fans. Gilmore’s brawl with The Price is Right host, Bob Barker, is one of the best cameo scenes in movie history.

Happy Gilmore

#2: Caddyshack

Times are changing at the Bushwood Country Club, as a new wave of members enter the fray, disrupting the once peaceful and pristine society. Bill Murray steals the show as groundskeeper Carl Spackler, particularly his improvised scene describing the Cinderella story of a hard luck golfer at Augusta, while teeing off on some of the club’s flowers. Others, such as Rodney Dangerfield and Ted Knight are perfect in their roles as combative members. It’s too bad that the sequel couldn’t live up to the original, but it’s still an okay romp. I especially enjoy it when the course is given miniature golf elements.

#1: Slap Shot

There are so many quotable lines in this classic. Paul Newman is awesome as the Charlestown Chief’s player-coach, Reggie Dunlop, and with other oddballs like the ultraviolent Hanson Brothers joining the squad, there’s plenty of characters to appreciate and enjoy. Many of the roles were based on real-life players. As a young kid growing up in hockey-mad Canada, this film was like a rite of passage, especially given its adult elements. I can’t say much for the two sequels that have come out in more recent years, but everyone out there, hockey fan or not, should give the original a viewing.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Floater

Floater Shot

  • 1 oz Vodka
  • Scoop of Peanut Butter
  • Dash of Chocolate Syrup

Who would have thought that two golf-themed films would crack this list? Even more surprising, not a single Will Ferrell sports movie made the Top 5… and I’m a huge Will Ferrell fan. Lastly, while they are made-for-TV documentaries, the Sip Advisor encourages everyone out there to check out ESPN’s 30-for-30 series and get your learn on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
All I have to say about this shot is, think about the pool scene in Caddyshack… disgusting, indeed! You’re also supposed to garnish with shot with Corn, but I just couldn’t make that graphic leap. Given the shooter is straight vodka, it’s strong, but the Peanut Butter and Chocolate Sauce tame it a little… just not enough.

October 1 – Slapshot

Hockey Tough

It’s not even debatable… hockey players are the toughest athletes in the world. While baseball players miss time with blisters and soccer stars writhe on the pitch and clutch their legs on phantom touches, NHL’ers play through devastating injuries on a regular basis. As the league returns to action tonight for their 2013-14 season, these hombres must be saluted as the toughest of the sporting bunch!

players-hockey

Steve Yzerman (2002)

Steve Yzerman is known as one of the greatest leaders in sports history. In 2002, Yzerman suffered a serious knee injury, but refused to let it keep him down. Yzerman had good reason to continue playing, though. His Detroit Red Wings lifted the 2002 Stanley Cup, mere months after he was an integral member Canada’s 2002 gold medal triumph at the Winter Olympics. Following that glorious year of events, Yzerman had to have his knee completely realigned, but still returned to hockey that season.

Patrice Bergeron (2013)

Continuing to play at a professional level with broken ribs is one thing, but imagine that same injury resulted in a punctured lung. Most normal people can’t even laugh with broken ribs, let alone play a highly physical and demanding sport. Patrice Bergeron played through Stanley Cup Final games with a punctured lung, among other injuries. It’s not like Bergeron didn’t already have a Stanley Cup on his resume, as the Bruins had won the grand prize just two years earlier, but Bergeron continued to play so as not to let down his team.

Jacques Plante (1959)

You’re already pretty tough in my books if you’re willing to stand in front of the net and have shots fired at you, as well as players crashing your crease… you’re even tougher if you did it back in the days of limited padding and no face masks. In a 1959 game, Jacques Plante took a slapshot to face, breaking his nose and cutting him open. Plante simply got stitched up, put on a mask and returned to ice. The occurrence ushered in the goalie mask as a regular protective device in the NHL.

Jacques Plante Putting on Mask

Mario Lemieux (1993)

In January 1993, following repeat Stanley Cup championships and amid another wildly successful season, Mario Lemieux announced that he would be taking some time away from hockey to treat his Hodgkin’s lymphoma cancer diagnosis. Not ever cancer could stop Super Mario, though. He returned to hockey two months later and on the same day as radiation treatment to score a goal and add an assist. He was even given a standing ovation from the opponent Philadelphia Flyers fans, some of the toughest supporters in all of sports.

Gregory Campbell (2013)

There’s something about the current crop of Boston Bruins that is admirable. On top of Patrice Bergeron’s struggles from the Stanley Cup Finals, there is also the case of Gregory Campbell, who stayed on the ice to kill the rest of a penalty after blocking a shot which broke his leg. Campbell struggled to stay in the play and break up whatever he could before hobbling to the bench and leaving the game.

Gregory Campbell Leg Break

Bobby Baun (1964)

During the Toronto Maple Leafs 1964 Stanley Cup finals series with the Detroit Red Wings, defenseman Bobby Baun broke his leg blocking a Gordie Howe shot. He was taken from the ice on a stretcher, but reemerged on the bench for the overtime period. Although he wasn’t known for his offensive abilities, the hockey gods looked down kindly upon Baun that night and he notched the overtime winner, forcing a game seven. The Leafs would hoist the cup days later with Baun still in the lineup.

Paul Kariya (2003)

Before concussions were such a hot button topic, a player could “get his bell rung” and be back on the ice in no time. But imagine taking one of the hardest open ice body checks in hockey history, from one of hockey’s all-time thunderous hitters and returning to the ice minutes later to score a huge goal, extending your team’s playoff life and championship bid. That’s exactly what Paul Kariya did when Scott Stevens flattened him in game six of their Stanley Cup Final Series.

Drink #274: Slapshot

Slapshot Drink Recipe

  • Rim glass with Pop Rocks
  • 2 oz Tequila (I used Sauza Gold)
  • Top with half Brisk Strawberry-Melon and half Club Soda
  • Garnish with Lime Wedge

There are people out there who don’t go to work when they twist their ankle or have a cold… not the noble hockey player, however. Much respect to the brotherhood of hockey players out there. Let the games begin!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was an impressive drink. The Brisk Strawberry-Melon, which had found itself tucked away in the fridge for far too long, came out and had a career-making appearance. No more riding the pine for this mixer… it earned itself a brand spanking new contract with this gutsy performance!

February 22 – Blue Lagoon Margarita

National Margarita Day

Margarita, margarita, there ain’t nothin’ sweeter… that, my little sippers, is the little tune I sing whenever I’m having a margarita. And today is a holy day for those who love their tequila and triple sec (TNT) based drinks! To celebrate in my own way, I made a Blue Lagoon Margarita.

Margarita Day

Blue Lagoon (no relation to the cocktail) is a 1980 movie that is largely remembered for featuring a young Brooke Shields parading naked around a deserted island – although a body double was used in most scenes and Shields’ hair was glued to her breasts in others, but I digress – and that got me thinking about (among other more titular things) what I would want to have with me if I was stranded alone on an island.

Reading Material:

Well, there’s one fork in the road this can go down… I mean, you are all alone with no human contact for the foreseeable future. Porn may be the best choice here, however, here at The Sip, I like to think we are of average intelligence and class and therefore I will actually bring books with me (Mrs. Sip would be so proud). I would probably pack a collection of the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader entries as these books are massive and full of thousands of interesting tidbits. Once you read them all, you could go back to the start and scan them over again, filling your head with so much trivia (aka useless knowledge) and nobody to share it with. If you were ever rescued, you could then go on Jeopardy and place second… gotta be careful with those daily doubles.

Watchables:

Obviously you can’t pack up your entire DVD collection for this trip and while resorting to a laptop filled with illegally downloaded movies and TV shows (again my legal counsel has forced me to state that the Sip Advisor does not endorse the illegal downloading of copyright material) would be the super-geek thing to do, you also have to consider the fact that there would be no outlets to charge your battery. Therefore, with a portable DVD player and an eight-hour battery I’m going to narrow my choices down to three movies: Slap Shot, Dumb & Dumber and Anchorman. The jury has spoken.

Tunes:

We are accustomed to going everywhere we travel with the ability to listen to our own music, creating a playlist for your entire life. On the island, though, you’d be limited to your one charge of battery, just like the DVD player. Would you use it all up in one epic jam, or would you spread the songs out over an extended period of time? I’d probably try to make everything seem like a montage and kill the battery in a matter of hours. I’m not very good with the long-term planning.

Island DVD & IPOD

Food & Drink:

My main concern here is how difficult it would be for me to create my own alcohol (and ice… warm drinks suck). Providing the island has lush amounts of fruits, I may be able to make my own flavoured concoctions. Maybe I would luck out and there would be a hidden stash of rum on the island like the one Captain Jack Sparrow was abandoned on.

As far as munchies go, a lifetime supply of potato chips would be great. Any flavor will do, except for any of those god-awful country-specific special flavours like Lamb & Mint (UK) or Vegemite (Australia). For the sweet tooth, any collection of chocolate should suffice. As for real food, who needs it? If no one is around to see how gross and out-of-shape you’re getting, does it really matter? And do you really want to max out your life expectancy on a deserted island?

Miscellaneous:

Oh, let’s see… the ability to harness electricity would surely help… you know, the usual stuff.

Comforts:

I think a pet is necessary when stranded. If I can’t have some sort of monkey sent to help me out, than a cat will do the trick. Anything to rid the island of all bird species, who provide nothing meaningful to my existence. Stupid poop machines.

Finally, if I could swing it, I’d have Mrs. Sip sent to the island to join me (kicking and screaming!). Then I’d impose the Brooke Shields rule into action and without a body double to do all the heavy lifting, you could finally call the place paradise!

Drink #53: Blue Lagoon Margarita

Blue Lagoon Margarita

  • 1 oz Tequila
  • 1 oz Blue Curacao
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Top with Pineapple Juice/Soda
  • Garnish with Orange Slice

Everyone has their own idea of what they would bring to a deserted island. What would help you survive the lonely exile?

Make sure to have your daily does of vitamin-M (margarita) today and party like it’s 2013!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I was disappointed with this recipe. Perhaps it’s because I used Pineapple Soda, instead of juice, which drastically changed the drink’s taste to a more fizzy one.