November 1 – Teddy Bear

Full of Stuffing

There are some great stuffed animals that have appeared in media over the years. Friends of our favourite characters who just don’t get the attention they deserve. Well, that’s going to change right now. Here are the Top 5 stuffed animals:

#5: Larry the Leopard – The Cleveland Show

Larry the Leopard is Cleveland Brown Jr.’s imaginary friend. With a relationship bordering on the creepy (ie. Larry is sometimes portrayed as Junior’s spouse), Larry is an important part of his owner’s life. Junior practically has a nervous breakdown when Larry is put through the washer and dryer, taking away his essence or as it is more filthily known, his stank. Cleveland Sr. is not a fan of the stuffed animal and its effect on Junior, who takes advice from the inanimate object.

Larry the Leopard

#4: Teddy – Mr. Bean

It seems at times as if Teddy is the only person Mr. Bean cares for… although Bean’s use of Teddy in his palns often results in punishment to the bear. The two exchange Christmas gifts, Mr. Bean makes sure Teddy is safely buckled in while driving, and the bear is given its own bed. Teddy became such a popular character in the series, that Ty (makers of Beanie Babies) produced a replica, so fans of the series could have their own adventures with the stuffed bear.

#3: Clyde Frog, Rumper Tumpskin, etc. – South Park

Cartman has a whole collection of stuffed toys that become his imaginary friends (also including Polly Prissypants, Peter Panda, and Muscle Man Marc), joining him for tea parties and otherwise filling in for Cartman’s lack of a father. When Cartman is finally ready to grow up and leave behind his plush friends, they are all murdered in a twisted, schizophrenic fashion with Cartman as the culprit and his childhood toys as the victims.

Cartman Stuffed Animals

#2: Rupert – Family Guy

While Rupert seems like an innocent enough stuffed bear, when Stewie imagines the two of them cavorting together in his fantasy world, Rupert becomes a muscled man (save for his teddy bear head) is skimpy speedo shorts. There are many other insinuations that Rupert is gay, likely playing off of Stewie’s own ambiguous sexuality. Stewie losing Rupert or moving on from the toy has been used in a couple of episodes, but the bear always winds up back in the crib.

#1: Hobbes – Calvin and Hobbes

Like the other stuffed animals on this list, Hobbes becomes an imaginary friend to his owner, in this case Calvin. The two get up to all sorts of trouble together with Hobbes trying to be the voice of reason, but often being ignored. Artist Bill Watterson blurs the lines of how real Hobbes may be with events like Hobbes being regularly tossed in the washing machine, which are baths that the tiger is forced to deal with.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear Shot

  • Rim glass with Chocolate Syrup
  • 0.25 oz Kahlua
  • 0.25 oz Peppermint Schnapps
  • 0.25 oz Cola
  • 0.25 oz Milk

Honourable mentions go to Winnie the Pooh, Ted, Pookie (Garfield), Smacky (Get Fuzzy), Mr. Bear (Full House), and Bobo (The Simpsons). What’s your favourite stuffed animal from the entertainment world? It’s time to get cuddly!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot was pretty good, reminding me of a Cola float… and how could you go wrong with that! The Chocolate Syrup rim took me back to the days of stuffed animals with early morning cartoons and chocolate milk. You know, the good ol’ days!

October 25 – Green Ghoul

Spooky Specters

Last week, we kicked off the haunted month of October with a look at the best animated ghosts and this week we get a little eerier with some live-action apparitions. But just like the Ray Parker, Jr. song, “I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts!

#5: Sam Wheat – Ghost

Never has homemade pottery been so sexy… and never will it be again! Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore’s spin at molding clay has certainly resulted in numerous copycat attempts, with those people realizing how messy the whole process actually is. Back to the movie, though, Wheat is shot and killed during a botched robbery and has to save his love from a similar fate. He also has to unveil former friend Carl as a money launderer, all while a ghost who can’t be seen or heard. That’s where “medium” Whoopi Goldberg comes in, hoping to help Sam tie up the loose ends and move on to the next world.

Swayze Ghost

#4: Freddy Krueger – Nightmare on Elm Street

Freddy Krueger is by far the Sip Advisor’s favourite horror movie ghoul. Just the thought of a being invading your dreams and snuffing out your life in such a violent manner gives me goose bumps (and not the of the R.L. Stein variety). Add in his look, with the scarred face and clawed glove and you won’t want to ever sleep again. The Nightmare on Elm Street concept has inspired some of the most creative kills in horror movie history. Robert Englund, despite being typecast as a nice guy, took the role of Freddy and rocked it for eight movies and 44 TV episodes, before Jackie Earle Haley took over for the 2010 reboot.

#3: Beetlejuice

Say his name three times and you’re in for a visit from the supernatural con artist and bio-exorcist… a visit you just might regret! Played perfectly by Michael Keaton and set in a world that only director Tim Burton could dream up, this dark, yet oddly colourful movie inspired a cartoon series that turned Beetlejuice into a protagonist and friend of Lydia Deetz (you know, the same teen he tried to force against her will and carry out a dark wedding with in the film). There is talk of Keaton and Burton reuniting for a long-awaited sequel to the original film, perhaps even called Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, a follow-up in development since 1990.

Beetlejuice Origin

#2: Jacob Marley & Christmas Spirits – A Christmas Carol

Without the help of these specters, Ebenezer Scrooge may have never learned the true meaning of Christmas and how to be a better human being, in general. First, starting with his former partner Jacob Marley (who is cursed to suffer in the hereafter after a lifetime and greed and selfishness), Scrooge is warned that he will be visited by three spirits: the ghost of Christmas past, present, and future. These ghouls guide Scrooge through his early days, showing him where the seeds of misery were first planted, how the people around him are currently suffering, and finally, the end result if he doesn’t change his ways immediately.

#1: Dr. Malcolm Crowe – The Sixth Sense

Spoiler alert! Bruce Willis – or at least his character – is actually dead in The Sixth Sense… he just doesn’t know it at first. The twist in this movie is executed so well that it made a career for M. Night Shayamalan. A career he has since faced challenges in, but a career nonetheless. Dr. Malcolm Crowe is trying to help a youngster, Cole Sear, through issues that include seeing and talking to people that have passed away and are having trouble getting through to the other side. In the process of Dr. Crowe helping Cole, Cole actually helps the good doctor and gives him release from being stuck in limbo.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Green Ghoul

Green Ghoul Shot

  • Rim glass with Green Sugar
  • 1 oz Vodka
  • 1 oz Midori

Who’s your favourite live-action or animated ghost? Which specters and spooks give you the heebie-jeebies? Never fear, cause next week, we’ll delve into the best ways to kill these baddies!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The best part of this shot, other than the Midori melon liqueur, was the salty rim, created by spreading Lime Juice around the glass, allowing the Green Sugar to stick. It’s not that the shot was bad, but it was strong thanks to the Vodka. Thankfully, I used a really nice Vodka, Tito’s to be exact, and that helped with the overall enjoyment.

October 18 – Ghostbuster

Specter Spooks

With the haunting season just getting underway (although Halloween candy was already on sale during the summer), the Sip Advisor figured it was as good a time as any to delve into the paranormal world. There are so many great ghosts out there that I decided to split the list between animated and humanoid (aka live action) ghouls. This week, we go cartoon ghost hunting. I hope you join me because I’m already a little scared!

#5: The Boo Brothers – Scooby Doo Meets the Boo Brothers

I love these three broskis, who are like the departed spirits of the Three Stooges. Instead of Larry, Curly, and Moe, you have Meako, Shreako, and Freako, a trio of ghost hunters, who just happen to be spirits themselves. The only thing bringing their rank down a little is the fact they only appear in one Scooby Doo movie, but it is my favourite of all Scooby adventures. This tale sees Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy Doo travel to the estate of Colonel Beauregard, Shaggy’s deceased uncle, who has left everything to his nephew. While there, the gang has to search for the family jewels while solving the mystery of who is haunting the home.

The Boo Brothers

#4: Boo – Super Mario Bros.

I always liked the creativity that went into the Super Mario Bros. ghost house levels. Avoiding the creepy little apparitions that only follow you when your back is turned added a whole new element of gameplay. There is also the massive King Boo, leader of all Boos, who you have to contend with from time to time. Boo became such a popular character that he joined the gang for their go-karting and board game adventures. His laugh when selected or after doing something naughty to another player is one of the best elements to choosing the spirited one.

#3: Slimer – Ghostbusters

This gelatinous blob is pretty disgusting when he makes his very first appearance in the halls of the Sedgewick Hotel, devouring a guest’s leftover room service, before sliming Ray Stantz and covering him with green goop (otherwise known as ectoplasm). Slimer really came into his own during the Ghostbusters cartoon, assisting the team in their escapades. Some quick trivia: Slimer was actually voiced by Ghostbusters director Ivan Reitman in the movies, and Dan Aykroyd referred to Slimer as the ghost of his good friend John Belushi, who was slated to star in the film before his death. Slimer was so popular, he even had his own toothpaste product released.

Slimer

#2: Grimm Grinning Ghosts – Haunted Mansion

Delighting and spooking guests since 1969, the Grimm Grinning Ghosts of the Disney theme parks Haunted Mansion attractions are among numerous characters featured on the revolutionary ride. There is rumoured to be 999 happy haunts in each Haunted Mansion and they’re always looking for one more soul to join their party. Sometimes, a hitchhiking ghost may even hop into your doom buggy right before exiting the ride, so beware! Each park’s Haunted Mansion is themed differently and has its own unique storyline, with most characters seeming to have their own backstory. Guests are known to each have their own favourite.

#1: Casper – Casper the Friendly Ghost

He may be the ‘Friendly Ghost,’ but methinks there’s a dark side to the little guy. No one is “that” friendly without wanting something in return… just ask Mrs. Sip about my behaviour. Anyhoo, I love the parallel The Simpsons made comparing Casper to Richie Rich and wondering if the two were the same. That’s the kind of stuff that blows your mind and keeps you awake at night. Casper is sometimes tormented by his three uncles, the Ghostly Trio of Stretch, Stinky, and Fatso (although their names have varied over time), but Casper seems to have a good handle on things… until his much-rumoured inner darkness in unleashed!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Ghostbuster

Ghostbuster Shot

  • 0.5 oz Amarula Cream
  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • Dropped into glass of:
  • 1 oz Crown Royal Whiskey
  • Top with Cola

I have to say that I also love the use of ghosts in South Park, including Eric Cartman (thinking he had died from eating KFC and was stuck in limbo), Biggie Smalls, Edgar Allan Poe, and the host of recently deceased (at the time) personalities to appear in the episode Dead Celebrities. South Park… making death fun!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
It’s been a while since I did a drop shot drink and this one sounded pretty interesting. I envisioned an almost root beer float type effect occurring as everything mixed together, but that didn’t necessarily happen. The taste was decent, though and it looked cool watching everything meld.

October 11 – Gummy Bear

Bear Naked

The majestic bear is one of Pa Sip’s favourite animals and I can’t really say I blame him. Bears are pretty damn cool and despite their mostly cute and cuddly depiction in media, you wouldn’t want to mess with one of these beasts. Here are the Top 5 bears:

#5: Yogi Bear

The picnic (or “pic-a-nic,” as the always hungry bear calls it) basket-obsessed Yogi has made a living out of terrorizing Jellystone Park and in particular, Ranger Smith. Along with his little buddy Boo Boo, visitors of the site can expect to have their meals interrupted and more headaches for the disgruntled ranger. Yogi was actually the first star character of Hanna-Barbera and without him, we might not have later enjoyed The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Wacky Racers, and numerous other memorable animated legends. Yogi Bear’s First Christmas is a favourite of Mrs. Sip and myself during the holidays.

Yogi Bear Professional Thief

#4: Baloo – The Jungle Book/TaleSpin

While Baloo was first introduced in The Jungle Book, he is even more fondly remembered for his turn in TaleSpin, as a transport pilot always on the search for adventure. Many moons before ‘Hakuna Matata,’ Baloo taught us that all we need to be happy is the ‘Bare Necessities.’ I’ll also give a tip of the hat to Baloo’s little sidekick, Kit Cloudkicker, a young cub who has basically been adopted by Baloo. Despite his aloof behaviour and disheveled appearance, Baloo is actually a member of the aristocracy (if bear’s have that) and his full name is Baloo von Bruinwald XIII.

#3: Ted

The stuffed bear come to life, Ted and his best buddy John Bennett and practically inseparable. Trouble comes in the form of a woman (it always does!) who wants John to grow up and for Ted to finally go out on his own. As a “grown up,” Ted is a foul-mouthed, hard drinking, womanizer… all the personality traits the Sip Advisor likes to employ. Created by Seth MacFarlane of Family Guy fame, Ted was originally intended to be an animated TV show rather than a live action film. A sequel to the movie will be out in summer 2015 and I simply can’t wait to get some more naughty stuffed animal action.

Ted-hangover

#2: Winnie the Pooh

This honey-loving, sometimes forgetful, but always generous and loving bear (and his friends Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore, etc.) were originally based on the stuffed animals of writer A.A. Milne’s son, Christopher Robin. Simply, Pooh, as he’s affectionately known by the other residents of the 100 Acre Forest, the bear’s roots come from Canada, where Harry Colebourn, a Canadian Lieutenant, bought a real-life bear for $20 and named it Winnie after the city of Winnipeg. Winnie ended up at the London Zoo, where a young Christopher Robin spotted it and took the name for his toy.

#1: Fozzie Bear – The Muppets

The perpetual jokester, Fozzie is always looking to up his act and shine as one of the brightest stars among the Muppets roster. Kermit the Frog is a huge supporter of the bear, despite his corny routine of practical joke gags and word play. It’s a misconception that Fozzie got his name when his performer, Frank Oz’s names were combined. He’s actually named after Faz Fazakas, who designed the equipment that allowed Fozzie to wiggle his ears. The original Fozzie puppet resides in the Teddy Bear Museum in the United Kingdom.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Gummy Bear

Gummy Bear Shot

  • 0.5 oz Vodka (I used Grey Goose)
  • 0.5 oz Raspberry Liqueur
  • 0.5 oz Cranberry Juice
  • Garnish with Gummy Bears

A special shout out to the Berenstain Bears, who established a moral code in the Sip Advisor that exists to this day. Without them, I would probably be a drug-addled thug instead of an underachieving liquor jockey. Sliding doors, my little sippers!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
They didn’t make the list, but gummy bears are a pretty big deal, too… famous around the world, even! This shot tasted exactly like the candy and had a nice tang to it, thanks to the use of my Cranberry-Lemonade mix, a recently released product from Ocean Spray.

October 4 – Girl Scout Cookie

Free Falling

While I think we’d all agree that the fall season lacks some of the flair and fun of summer, it’s not so bad. Here are the Top 5 things to look forward to now that the leaves are coming down and the temperatures are dropping:

#5: Fall Beers

It’s around this time of year that we see a lot of pumpkin-spiced and Oktoberfest offerings released. This also signifies the sad end to another wonderful summer of wheat beers, which breaks my heart annually. I’m not the biggest fan of pumpkin flavoured anything, but I still appreciate this change in the beverage calendar and trying some new brews. Also, on the alcohol front, I have new fall-themed spirit to play with in Maple Liqueur. Should be fun!

beer disaster

#4: Closed Windows

Mrs. Sip and I live in Vancouver’s downtown core and it’s a noisy, busy place. If it’s not drunk people loudly passing by in the wee hours of a new day, we are consistently woken up every morning by the sounds of slamming dumpster lids, garbage trucks, street cleaners, and just about every other horrific sound you can imagine that isn’t your alarm. With cooler temperatures, the windows can be shut, locking out a fair portion of the racket.

#3: Cookies

Along with the traditional Girl Scout/Guide releases that come out this time of year, it is also more likely that home-baked treats will be focused on, as folks abandon the outdoors and spend more time bulking up for winter hibernation. After all, now that the sun is going to hide itself away on the other side of the world, we don’t have to worry so much about our bodies not being 100% beach ready.

girlscoutcookies

#2: Hockey Season

I hate summer sports, when all you get crammed down your throat are endless baseball games. The fall signifies the startup of all the other major leagues (NFL, NHL, and NBA) and some diversity to sports highlight packages. Being Canadian, the Sip Advisor particularly looks forward to the puck drop of another NHL season and a fresh start for your favourite team. On a more intimate level, it’s time to return to the rink for beer league hockey and work off that summer rust!

#1: Vacation Time

Given we don’t have kids, Mrs. Sip and I often save most of our travelling for outside the summer months, when off-season rates can be had and places aren’t so crazy busy. Sure, we do a lot of trips around the calendar, but in the summer, it’s mostly kept to weekend away. The fall usually brings bigger vacations, such as this year’s jaunt to California (aboard a Princess Cruise) to celebrate the Sip Advisor’s birthday in grand style. Disneyland, here we come!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Girl Scout Cookie

Girl Scout Cookie Shot

  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • 0.5 oz Creme de Menthe
  • 0.5 oz Irish Crème
  • Garnish with a Cookie (or two!)

I also enjoyed playing in the leaves as a youngster and when I have my own little sippers, I’m sure they will enjoy an afternoon of raking foliage, only to mess up the entire pile with a few perfectly-timed jumps and splashes!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While I prefer the classic chocolate and vanilla icing Girl Scout/Guide cookies, this shooter is meant to emulate the gal’s peppermint thins. On a side note, it pisses me off that the Girl Scouts of America have so many more cookie options than the Girl Guides of Canada. Back to the shot, this recipe gave me a great chance to use our new Mason Jar glasses for the first time, which is perfect given jarring preservatives for the winter is another fall favourite for some. The shooter should be layered as ordered in the recipe and you can expect a little bleeding together.

September 27 – Spinal Tap

I’m With the Band

For those about to rock… we salute you! And we also salute these fictional bands, some of which turned into real-life touring acts. Those which didn’t, should have. Hell, if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had a music tour at the height of their popularity in the early 90s, why can’t we see Faith+1 or Fingerbang around the world!?

#5: The Blues Brothers – The Blues Brothers/Blues Brothers 2000

When Jim Belushi and Dan Aykroyd took to the Saturday Night Live stage to perform as Jake and Elwood Blues, nobody knew how musically-gifted the two actually were. The sketches were turned into a feature film and the SNL alum even toured together, performing live on stage. With the unfortunate death of Jim Belushi, his brother John has filled in at times (as Zee Blues), as well as John Goodman, who joined Aykroyd as ‘Mighty’ Mack McTeer for the sequel Blues Brothers 2000. Aykroyd’s love of blues music has even resulted in his owning a percentage of the House of Blues restaurant and live performance chain.

Blues Brothers

#4: The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience – King of the Hill

The Experience consisted of the back alley crew (Hank, Dale, Bill and Boomhauer) with young Connie Psupnesphone on her violin – or as it’s referred to in blue grass, a fiddle. Boomhauer’s unintelligible southern drawl speech is perfect for bluegrass and the troupe made it all the way to performing at the Bluegrass Festival in Branson, Missouri, before Connie’s overbearing father Con interfered. Their cover of ‘Blue Moon of Kentucky’ sounded pretty good and they even talked country legend Charlie Daniels into filling in on the fiddle when Connie disappeared. Despite all their efforts, though, they did not win the festival competition.

#3: Spinal Tap – This is Spinal Tap

The greatest fake rock band to become a real rock band EVER! Made up of David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) and filmed mockumentary style, this film covered Spinal Tap’s journey to the top of the music world. Spinal Tap later appeared on The Simpsons, thanks to Shearer’s voice work on the series, forever cementing their status as a great fictional band, although the group actually tours and performs. This is one act you wouldn’t want to be a drummer for, though, as each prospective percussionist has died from bizarre accidents and under mysterious circumstances.

Spinal Tap

#2: The Be-Sharps – The Simpsons

Homer, Principal Skinner, Apu, Chief Wiggum and later Barney Gumble (replacing Wiggum) made up this little quartet. With a Grammy Award winning and number one hit ‘Baby On Board,’ the group seemed destined for superstardom, but in a case eerily similar to The Beatles, creative differences and an Asian woman forced the band to split and remain a one-hit wonder. The Simpsons has also featured other fictional groups and musicians, including Bleeding Gums Murphy, Lurleen Lumpkin, the Party Posse, Captain Bart and the Tequila Mockingbirds, Sadgasm, and even Kirk Van Houten.

#1: Fingerbang & Faith+1 – South Park

Both of these bands are driven by the genius mind of Eric Cartman. First, he created Fingerbang, an attempt at capitalizing on the boy band craze. The death of Kenny – crushed by an elevator during a concert at the local mall – thwarted them in the end. They did gain one fan, but promptly split up, realizing that such fame doesn’t allow for a normal life. Years later, Cartman splits from the boys garage band Moop, to form the Christian Rock-based Faith+1 with Butters and Token. Faith+1 goes on to be a hit, receiving a Mir album distinction. Cartman, expecting a gold record to win a bet with Kyle, goes on a profanity-laced tirade, ruining the band’s innocent image.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Spinal Tap

Spinal Tap Shot

  • 0.5 oz Vodka (I used Finlandia)
  • 0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
  • 0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
  • Garnish with a Guitar Pick

As usual, this list was extremely difficult to pare down. I would have loved to include groups like Jesse and the Rippers (Full House), the Zack Attack (Saved by the Bell), and The Electric Mayhem (The Muppets), among others. I did manage to sneak a sixth band into the post by doubling up the South Park entry, so consider yourself extra special today!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m unsure of if this shooter has anything to do with the mockumentary band or if it’s more to do with the medical procedure… either way, I’m using it! And it is delicious. You get varying notes of Peach Schnapps and Crème de Cacao and both taste so good. Had I used a flavoured Vodka, I wonder if things would have got better or worse. Would a whole new flavour emerge, or would there be too many competing notes? The questions that keep the Sip Advisor up at night!

September 20 – Jager Barrel

Rush Week

With the upcoming DVD release of the movie Neighbors, I thought that this was as good a time as any to take a look at some of the best fraternities out there. Never a fan of the whole Greek system, I prefer my frats on the fictional side. Will the Delta Psi’s in Neighbors ever measure up? Time will only tell!

#5: Alpha Alpha – Undergrads

Rocko Gambiani is not very popular among his brothers, as they are more into the philanthropy and networking aspects of the fraternity, while Rocko wants to experience all the stuff these groups are typically associated with: hazing, partying, pranking, womanizing, etc. Rocko wasn’t even supposed to be a member of Alpha Alpha, but is begrudgingly accepted after passing the initiation tasks he places upon himself, upon learning the Alphas don’t do tests anymore.

Rocko Undergrads

#4: Lambda Lambda Lambda – Revenge of the Nerds

The Tri-Lambs were created when a bunch of outsiders needed a place to live and their subsequent feud with the guys of Alpha Beta and the girls of Pi Delta Pi, showed us all that nerds aren’t bad at all. The success of Revenge of the Nerds did nothing for nerd nation in the real world, but did spawn three sequels, a failed TV show, and cancelled remake. Perhaps the group’s greatest legacy was seen in a number of Tri-Lamb fraternities actually being created, with five currently existing in the U.S.

#3: Oozma Kappa – Monsters University

In a similar vein to Revenge of the Nerds, Oozma Kappa is made up of the outcasts who can’t get into the more popular groups. When Sully finds himself kicked out of Roar Omega Roar and Mike never gets in for not being scary enough, they join Oozma Kappa, hoping this unit of unpopular monsters will help them win the annual Scare Games and gain them re-entry into the renowned Scare Program. Once again, we learn that athletic ability isn’t the only trait needed to succeed.

Oozma Kappa

#2: Lambda Epsilon Omega – Old School

The best part about this fraternity, is that it’s open to anyone who wants to pledge. This includes folks who don’t even attend the nearby campus, and perhaps most notably, the geriatric Blue, who sadly passes away during his own birthday celebration, when two women flash the old timer. What a way to go! In typical fraternity challenge style, the boys need to complete a number of trials to keep their chapter open, while staying clear of the nefarious Dean of the school.

#1: Delta Tau Chi – Animal House

This film made being on double secret probation popular and also brought the toga party into the mainstream. John Belushi is an absolute stud in this film, stealing the show as the drunken troublemaker, John ‘Bluto’ Blutarsky, who we learn during the epilogue to the film, became a U.S. Senator, despite a GPA of 0.0. Animal House is actually one of the highest grossing films of all-time, thanks to its miniscule $2.8 million budget and worldwide success. Sadly, a TV spinoff only lasted 13 episodes.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Jager Barrel

Jager Barrel Shot

  • 1 oz Jagermeister
  • 0.5 oz Root Beer Schnapps
  • Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

It’s funny how many stories are about a ragtag group coming together to make their own fraternity succeed against the established houses. Even on Futurama, Bender takes the fledgling Robot House (aka Epsilon Rho Rho) and wages war against the members of SNΘΘΤΥ House. There’s also a really clever frat name in an episode of Boy Meets World. The group is called Magnum Pi, which is a wonderful homage to my boy Magnum P.I.!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
When you’re honouring the world of fraternities, Jagermeister has to be used in your shooter. This recipe originally comes from a cocktail that is supposed to use Root Beer as a mixer, so I shrunk it down to shot form and added Root Beer Schnapps, instead. It tasted quite nice, as anything with Root Beer does, in this Sip Advisor’s opinion!

September 13 – A-Sample

The Gun Show

Over the last two years, the Sip Advisor has become a bit of a gym rat (and not the type that wants to sleep with weightlifters!). As a result, I’ve been witness to some mind blowing behaviour that drives me crazy. Here are the Top 5 exercise room pet peeves:

#5: Letting Weights Smash Together

My theory is, if you can’t let the weight come down slowly, you’re lifting too much. This may not be a completely correct line of thinking, as some people prefer a maxed out lifting regime, but no one in the gym wants to be startled by the loud sound of weights clashing against one another just cause some prick wants to be a big shot and overexert his lifting. I think a perfect punishment for this exercise foul would be a guillotine-style decapitation at the hands of someone lifting too much to let the weight down easily.

gym-cat

#4: Unneccesary Devices

The only device a person should be bringing to the gym with them is something to play music. I can’t count the number of times I see someone sitting on a piece of equipment, staring at their phone and either texting away or holding a long conversation with someone. If you want to do that, get out of the gym and let me have access to the equipment and a work out free of listening to your latest drama. I also despise the folks that bring a laptop to the gym, thinking everyone wants to hear their tunes, you master of human audial enjoyment. Worse is the person who watches a movie and has to awkwardly balance the machine as they exercise.

#3: Using Multiple Machines at Same Time

I know that some people like to work out by rapidly rotating through a few machines, but in a small gym like the Sip Advisor’s apartment has, that means that you’re using up a majority of the possible stations all for yourself and it’s hard for someone else to get in and do their own reps when you’re not sure when this person will be done and how long you might have to wait for your next set. What’s worse is if two people are swapping in and out of the same machine and are taking it up for long periods of time, largely because they’re spending more time chit chatting than pumping iron.

gym-treadmill

#2: Using Machines to Hold Possessions

I really don’t understand how people can be this rude. Do they not realize that others might want to use that bike or bench that they have their jacket laid out on… and on that note, why the hell did you bring a jacket to the weight room in the first place!? It’s not like you had to travel far to get there when it’s within the same building that you live. Did you have a need to look fashionable amongst people wearing kits stained with sweat? Oh, you want to rest your precious iPhone on a bike seat like it’s the freakin’ holy grail?… well, then don’t mind if I “accidentally” destroy it with my rockin’ gluteus maximus!

#1: Not Putting Equipment Away

This one really draws the Sip Advisor’s ire. How hard is it to return whatever equipment you used back to the place you found it? So many times, weights are strewn across the gym floor and mats and those stupid massive rubber balls are left to roam the room. What pisses me off the most is when I’m trying to put heavy weights away, but I’m blocked from getting as close as possible to the rack by a wall of discs and dumbbells, making me have to lurch in awkward ways to return what I was using. These folks are the worst of society and should be barred from the gym until they can prove their rehabilitation and good behaviour.

Super Saturday Shot Day: A-Sample

A-Sample Shot

  • 0.75 Zubrowka Vodka
  • 0.75 Gatorade
  • Garnish with Pills

I would never criticize how anyone chooses to work out (to each their own), but I do want to share one of the funnier exercise routines I’ve ever witnessed: Some dude came in and grabbed one of those big rubber balls before doing two whole sit-ups on it. He then went over to the bike and pedaled for about a minute, before hopping off and returning to the ball again for another pair of sit-ups. He finished with a handful of push-ups and left the gym… and the jerk never put that stupid ball away!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Given the subject of today’s post, A-Sample (what athletes provide for drug testing) was the perfect shooter to pick for the article. Better yet, I wanted to make sure Gatorade was an ingredient and everything really came together. I used Zubrowka Vodka, because it’s made with Bison Grass and to the Sip Advisor, nothing says bulking up like Bison Grass. One problem is that the Gatorade is too light to cover the booze, but this is otherwise a decent shooter.

September 6 – ABC

A Good Read

With school coming back into session for many little sippers out there (although not here in B.C., where it looks like we might have the makings of a long teacher’s strike), it might be time to snatch some good reading material. While I would never classify myself as an avid reader, there have been some books I’ve thoroughly enjoyed. Mrs. Sip would love to see me sit down more often with a book, but TV’s warm loving embrace is just too much to break. Here are my favourite books/series throughout life:

#5: Goosebumps Series by R.L. Stein

One of the only things I enjoyed about elementary school (save for gym, recess, and spelling tests… what can I say, I was born to write) was the monthly Scholastic book catalogue that came out, providing me an opportunity to grow my Goosebumps collection, which sits to this day in a drawer at Ma and Pa Sip’s home. I still fondly remember some of these stories, such as Attack of the Mutants, A Night in Terror Tower, and The Phantom of the Auditorium. The covers on these novels alone were enough to chill your blood and get you pumped for your next classroom quiet time. There were 62 releases in the original series and a TV show followed, but when it came to screen screams, I was more of an Are You Afraid of the Dark fan.

goosebumps report

#4: The Rebel League: World Hockey Association by Ed Willes

The World Hockey Association had a brief life, but it changed the landscape of professional hockey and in some circumstances, the entire sports world. Journalist Ed Willes takes the reader through the league’s tumultuous existence from conception to absorption by the NHL, right through a mess of teams going out of business or being relocated. The dichotomy of the league, with its highly-skilled players meshing with fight-filled contests, is just one aspect of a mesmerizing story. Willes captures all the sordid tales and behind-the-scenes dealings that made the WHA such a fascinating flash in the pan. Largely based on this book, I was able to rank the WHA #1 on my list of top defunct sports leagues. I only wish I had been able to experience some of the action in-person.

#3: Get Fuzzy Treasuries by Darby Conley

I never really got into comic books as a youngster, fancying my superheroes on the screen, as opposed to in my hands (save for some of the sexy female heroines). That said, I do prefer to look at brightly coloured pictures, rather than printed words, and that can come in the form of some lighter entertainment. My hands down favourite daily funny is Get Fuzzy, which focuses on the interactions of human Rob Wilco with his pets/roommates Bucky Katt and Satchel Pooch. Bucky is a little terror, who is constantly trying to run (scratch that, ruin) the household, while Satchel is a sweet and gentle pup, happy to have a chew toy and a quiet place to nap. Rob just gets stuck in the middle, just like your typical real world pet owner.

GF

#2: Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers by Bathroom Readers’ Institute

I really enjoy learning unknown tidbits about subjects I’m interested in and this series is perfect for exactly that. Thanks to these books, I’m an integral member of any trivia team I’m invited to join (aside from my wonderful personality!) and the lesser known facts my brain is able to absorb have garnered me a fair bit of free booze! The best thing about Bathroom Readers is that you can read one piece or a selection of articles… I guess it depends on how long you’ll be in the bathroom. I personally prefer to not have a book in my hands while I’m on the pot, but admittedly, that is what these releases were meant for. My favourites from the Uncle John library include TV, Movies, and Hockey.

#1: Have a Nice Day by Mick Foley

While my favourite books are sports-related, Mick Foley’s wrestling autobiography is a no-brainer to top this list. And I’m not alone in my fondness for this story. Books released by wrestlers exploded after the success of Mick Foley’s first attempt and the string of publications is going strong to this day. In Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks, Foley guides us through the earliest days of his life and career with a wit and warmth that makes it extremely hard to put the book down… even for a non-reader such as myself. I have yet to check out Foley’s other two non-fiction releases, but have heard good things about both and should really take the time to pick them up.

Super Saturday Shot Day: ABC

ABC Shot

  • 0.5 oz Amaretto
  • 0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
  • 0.5 oz Cognac
  • Garnish with Orange Wedge

Given my penchant for wrestling reads, I would also recommend autobiographies by Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, and Chris Jericho, as well as the book WrestleCrap: The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling. There are a number of others I would endorse, but it’s time to get back to the library and go silent!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
You layer the ingredients in A-B-C order and that allowed me to finally use the layering tool I received a few months back. It worked out really well and looks great, am I right!? The shot tasted fantastic, especially when the Irish Crème kicked in following the two liquors, which move a little quicker. Too bad I couldn’t think of a D-garnish to continue the ABC theme.

August 30 – Smokestack

Mains & Sides

Well, this is the last long weekend of the summer, which means it’s primetime for all the barbecue masters out there to whip up the delicacies we crave all winter long. While I’m pretty open to anything someone is kind enough to put on my plate, here are the Top 5 barbecue foods, according to the Sip Advisor:

#5: Kangaroo

Although Mrs. Sip and I only enjoyed this barbecued delicacy once, it’s a meal I will never forget… which is a little surprising because we were on a winery tour in the Barossa Valley of Australia and well on route to a drunken bender. The meat was prepared in red wine and was so tender and juicy that we went at the offering with a piranha-like frenzy. While I would usually never commit the faux pas of eating the last remaining piece, in this case, I even stabbed some poor dude with a fork to get it!

Kangaroo Meats

#4: Corn on the Cob/Cornbread

Corn is an essential ingredient for a good barbecue and thanks to these two serving options, can be enjoyed in different forms with equally pleasurable results. While the Sip Advisor hates getting food stuck in his teeth (the main reason he loathes popcorn), corn on the cob is one situation where that fear is thrown out the window. As for cornbread, you better lay your hands off my slice or it’s dueling time. Slap some butter on either of these side dishes and you’ll be in sweet-salty heaven.

#3: Potato Chips

My affinity for the potato chip has been discussed at length, but here we go again! I love my chippies and am practically addicted to the snack treat. Like a junkie, I start itching for that sweet release that comes with the first bite and the burst of flavour that will soon fill the void in my soul. Chips are an easy side for any meal, but work best when you have a big ol’ bowl of them on display for the Sip Advisor to steal, hide in some dark, dank corner and inject straight to the veins.

potato-chips-funny-quotes

#2: Pulled Pork

There’s nothing like smacking a glob of pulled pork down onto a fresh bun, topping it with some slaw and taking a mammoth bite out of the wicked sandwich. Preferably, you next move will be to wash down that food with an ice cold brewski, thus completing two-thirds of the holy trinity. All that’s left is to take a brief cat nap and repeat the process again. God bless the pig for all the awesomeness it provides.

#1: Hot Dogs

Is there anything that smells better in this world than a barbecue grilling up hot dogs? Other meats are all well and good, too, but for my money, nothing tops some smokies! Hot dogs are so amazing that they can become the icing on the cake or the cherry on the sundae, even when purchased on the street in the wee hours of the morning after getting blitzed all night long. Somebody better get the grill going because I’m ready for a feast fit for a Sip Advisor!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Smokestack (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Aug 30

  • Rim glass with Barbecue Sauce
  • 1 oz Absolut Texas Vodka
  • 0.5 oz Chipotle Spirit
  • Garnish with Cucumber Slices

I have to throw a massive shout out and honourable mention to potato and noodle salads. Without these two brothers in mayonnaise, I don’t know how I would have survived barbecues as a little sipper picky eater!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2 Sips out of 5):
This could be the world’s next great punishment shot, even though on their own, in various cocktails, the alcohols are quite nice. Speaking of the alcohol, Mrs. Sip and I recently stumbled upon this entry in the Absolut City Series, which combines Cucumber and Serrano Chili Peppers… a perfect summer blend. The Cucumber Slices were a nice touch visually, but were a choking hazard during the actual shooter.