September 13 – A-Sample

The Gun Show

Over the last two years, the Sip Advisor has become a bit of a gym rat (and not the type that wants to sleep with weightlifters!). As a result, I’ve been witness to some mind blowing behaviour that drives me crazy. Here are the Top 5 exercise room pet peeves:

#5: Letting Weights Smash Together

My theory is, if you can’t let the weight come down slowly, you’re lifting too much. This may not be a completely correct line of thinking, as some people prefer a maxed out lifting regime, but no one in the gym wants to be startled by the loud sound of weights clashing against one another just cause some prick wants to be a big shot and overexert his lifting. I think a perfect punishment for this exercise foul would be a guillotine-style decapitation at the hands of someone lifting too much to let the weight down easily.

gym-cat

#4: Unneccesary Devices

The only device a person should be bringing to the gym with them is something to play music. I can’t count the number of times I see someone sitting on a piece of equipment, staring at their phone and either texting away or holding a long conversation with someone. If you want to do that, get out of the gym and let me have access to the equipment and a work out free of listening to your latest drama. I also despise the folks that bring a laptop to the gym, thinking everyone wants to hear their tunes, you master of human audial enjoyment. Worse is the person who watches a movie and has to awkwardly balance the machine as they exercise.

#3: Using Multiple Machines at Same Time

I know that some people like to work out by rapidly rotating through a few machines, but in a small gym like the Sip Advisor’s apartment has, that means that you’re using up a majority of the possible stations all for yourself and it’s hard for someone else to get in and do their own reps when you’re not sure when this person will be done and how long you might have to wait for your next set. What’s worse is if two people are swapping in and out of the same machine and are taking it up for long periods of time, largely because they’re spending more time chit chatting than pumping iron.

gym-treadmill

#2: Using Machines to Hold Possessions

I really don’t understand how people can be this rude. Do they not realize that others might want to use that bike or bench that they have their jacket laid out on… and on that note, why the hell did you bring a jacket to the weight room in the first place!? It’s not like you had to travel far to get there when it’s within the same building that you live. Did you have a need to look fashionable amongst people wearing kits stained with sweat? Oh, you want to rest your precious iPhone on a bike seat like it’s the freakin’ holy grail?… well, then don’t mind if I “accidentally” destroy it with my rockin’ gluteus maximus!

#1: Not Putting Equipment Away

This one really draws the Sip Advisor’s ire. How hard is it to return whatever equipment you used back to the place you found it? So many times, weights are strewn across the gym floor and mats and those stupid massive rubber balls are left to roam the room. What pisses me off the most is when I’m trying to put heavy weights away, but I’m blocked from getting as close as possible to the rack by a wall of discs and dumbbells, making me have to lurch in awkward ways to return what I was using. These folks are the worst of society and should be barred from the gym until they can prove their rehabilitation and good behaviour.

Super Saturday Shot Day: A-Sample

A-Sample Shot

  • 0.75 Zubrowka Vodka
  • 0.75 Gatorade
  • Garnish with Pills

I would never criticize how anyone chooses to work out (to each their own), but I do want to share one of the funnier exercise routines I’ve ever witnessed: Some dude came in and grabbed one of those big rubber balls before doing two whole sit-ups on it. He then went over to the bike and pedaled for about a minute, before hopping off and returning to the ball again for another pair of sit-ups. He finished with a handful of push-ups and left the gym… and the jerk never put that stupid ball away!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Given the subject of today’s post, A-Sample (what athletes provide for drug testing) was the perfect shooter to pick for the article. Better yet, I wanted to make sure Gatorade was an ingredient and everything really came together. I used Zubrowka Vodka, because it’s made with Bison Grass and to the Sip Advisor, nothing says bulking up like Bison Grass. One problem is that the Gatorade is too light to cover the booze, but this is otherwise a decent shooter.

December 28 – Broken Down Golf Cart

Surviving the Season

There are a number of things you just can’t do during the winter. Golf, for example, is pretty hard to play and enjoy if you live anywhere that experiences snow storms or other inclement weather. I’ve searched around for advice on how to beat the winter blues (not that I’m necessarily down myself) and while I agree with some suggestions, others have me perplexed and even angry. Here are some of those recommendations:

Relax/Catch up on Sleep

Mrs. Sip tends to burn the candle at both ends year round, but I feel run down the most at Christmas. With all the social gatherings on top of the usual pattern of work and activities, it can all be quite exhausting. Add to that the whole Christmas shopping mess and you’re in for a rough holiday ride. It’s also a time to be thoroughly enjoyed, so hibernating through the cold stretch isn’t desirable either. Find a perfect balance between rest and play and you’ll do fine.

Hibernation

Don’t Binge Drink

You little sippers know even before I launch into an obscenity-laced tirade that I’m not going to agree with this notion. I think the best part of trying to cope with winter is getting blitzed in your wonderfully warm abode while watching ancient episodes of Family Matters and Full House and longing for a simpler time in life. If you want to binge drink, by all means, go for it… and have a grand ol’ time while doing so.

Embrace the Season

I largely believe in celebrating whichever time of year you’re currently living through. Winter is no different. The season provides ample opportunity to do things you can’t most of the rest of the year, like ski, snowboard, ice skate, have snowball fights, build a snowman and so on. You should also treasure the time provided to be with family and friends over the holidays because you never really know how much of it you’ll have.

Treat Yourself

I love on Parks and Recreation how Tom and Donna celebrate ‘Treat Yo Self Day’ and apparently I’m not alone. The official day of this amazing holiday, as per its own Facebook page is Oct. 13. How you decide to Treat Yo Self is entirely up to you. It’s also a good idea to treat someone else really well and your efforts may come back as rewards in the future, doubling your positive results.

Exercise/Healthy Diet

I’m totally down with the exercise part, but the healthy diet doesn’t jive. Christmas is all about the cookies, chocolate, and other treats. I subscribe to the theory of the ‘Guy-et’ where as I work out for the sole purpose of balancing out all the bad habits I have. If you do it well enough, you’ll even begin seeing gains, but the point of the program is to at least hold off any losses.

Find Some Sun

Whether this is achieved through travel or something as simple as hitting the tanning salon, you have to find a way that works for you to warm up and get some vitamin-D coursing through your veins. Most years, Mrs. Sip and I seem to be able to get away to a warmer climate during the winter and I wholeheartedly advise others to do the same. It’s good to bring the swimsuit and sunglasses out in December and January.

Improve Yourself

Remember those resolutions you laid out at the start of the year? With only days or weeks left on the calendar, it might be time to finally cross off some of your tasks. While Mrs. Sip and I sit down each January 1st and discuss our goals for the year, the only one I maintain is the one Samuel L. Jackson once outlined as guest host of Saturday Night Live: “Continue to kick ass!”

Drink #362: Broken Down Golf Cart

Broken Down Golf Cart Shooter

  • 0.25 oz Vodka (I used Lychee)
  • 0.25 oz Melon Liqueur
  • 0.25 oz Amaretto
  • 0.25 oz Cranberry Juice
  • Garnish with Candies

Do you have any other suggestions for surviving winter? Please share for all the little sippers out there that might be struggling through the season!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The Lychee Vodka made this shooter a little more interesting than it might have been normally. It worked well with all the other ingredients and I still can’t really describe the liquors complex taste. You can’t really go wrong with Melon Liqueur, Amaretto, and Cranberry Juice, so the Vodka was simply the icing on the cake!

 

May 7 – Caesar

Well Hung

I never get hung over. Don’t get me wrong, I can feel a little off the day after a heavy drinking effort, but I do not display the normal symptoms of a hangover. Mrs. Sip and friends marvel over my invincibility against hangovers… or more accurately they get green with jealousy. Haters say that the dreaded morning after monster will catch up to me, but how can it ever sneak up on you when you have a perpetual buzz going!?

hangover cat

The Caesar (a Canadian original and menu staple), today’s libation du jour, is thought to be a steadfast hangover cure. Although this isn’t a proven fact, most drinkers would swear by it. Here are some other solutions to your throbbing headache, nausea, dehydration, and weakness – at least I’ve heard that’s what a hangover feels like:

Coffee

I don’t drink the stuff at the best of times, so I’m pretty sure it would make me sicker than I was before, if I tried it as a cure. According to some studies, drinking coffee may increase your alertness the morning after drinking, but it will also increase your dehydration. So, to sum up, I have once again proven that coffee and all its subsidiaries suck and should be stricken from the earth.

Aspirin, Gravol & Other Meds

I have been advised before to take an Aspirin before going to bed after drinking heavy. I laughed obnoxiously at the time and I’m still laughing today. Meds can actually be helpful to cure what ails you, though. Aspirin will relieve your headache and Gravol will settle your stomach. If you don’t have any pills lying around, Ginger Ale can also work wonders on the system. It makes a great mixer, to boot!

hangover not drinking

Fast Food

A morning run to McDonalds, Burger King, or any other fast food joint may not actually cure a hangover, but it’s a perfectly good reason to start the day right with a greasy meal! Then when you’re sitting on the couch all day feeling lethargic, you can blame your breakfast, rather than your hangover.

More Alcohol

This would be my favourite solution to a hangover, but apparently the “hair of the dog” approach will eventually make you feel worse, as you build toxins on top of already consumed poisons. The Caesar would fall into this category, with drinkers arguing that the blend of ingredients, and in particular the clamato juice (tomato juice if you’re making a Bloody Mary), is enough to jump start their body the day after getting smashed.

hangover keep drinking

Exercise

Don’t get me wrong, I like a good workout, but after a night out, even when I don’t get hangovers, the thought of an early morning bike or weight lifting session makes me shiver. I like to start the day slowly after getting blotto. I’ll eventually hit the gym, but I’m in no rush whatsoever to get there. The only exercise I want the morning after painting the town red is a little cuddling, if you smell what I’m cookin’.

Sleep

The complete opposite of exercise, staying in bed is a little more up my alley. Sleeping one off is as literal a hangover cure as you can find. A true warrior, though, doesn’t save his drinking for the weekends. Yes, us man-among-men types can hit the bottle with a fire so strong that it’s mesmerizing and still wake up early the next day, hop out of bed and be a stud at work. That’s when you know you’re a legend… or an alcoholic, whateves.

hangover-funny

Bacon

My good friend and future best man (you should always be planning ahead), bacon, has actually been recently proven to help make people feel better after they’ve hit the bottle too hard. Specifically a bacon sandwich can do the trick, thanks to the carbs in bread and the protein in bacon. Both these substances provide the body with essential amino acids which will help with recovery. Is there anything bacon can’t do!?

Water/Sports Drinks

If I’m not having an alcoholic bevvy and you see the Sip Advisor with a drink in my hand, it’s likely going to be water. I drink so much water every day, I figure that’s why I never get a hangover. Oddly, I don’t drink much water during a hardcore boozing session, but I have friends who swear by doing a 1-1 or 2-1 ratio of alcohol to water or sports drink (Gatorade, Powerade) beverages. I’ve never been a mathematician, so that just seems like too much work to me.

Drink #127: Caesar

Caesar Drink

  • Rim glass with Celery Salt
  • 1.5 oz Vodka (I used Bakon Vodka)
  • Top with Clamato Juice
  • Pinch of Salt
  • Pinch of Pepper
  • Dash of Hot Sauce
  • Dash of Worcestershire Sauce
  • Dash of Horseradish
  • Garnish with Celery Stalk, Pickled Skewer, Spicy Bean, and Lime Wedge

Apparently, there are actually hangover pills. Personally, I wouldn’t give them much stock. Why waste your money on something that probably doesn’t even work, when you all you apparently really need is bacon and water? If you hate me because I don’t get hangovers, let me know. The best insults you can hurl my way may appear in a future post!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve always been a fair-weather friend of the Caesar. I neither love it, nor hate it. However, now I’m a fan as apparently I just had to make one for myself. This eco-system of a drink was delicious. It was salty, spicy, savoury, and flavourful, all at the same time. A cocktail that was wonderfully enjoyed on a beautiful day!