January 24 – Paloma

Posted on January 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Lost in Translation

Today’s cocktail is the Paloma, which is Spanish, means “dove”. Now, that might not be bookmarked in most people’s Spanish-to-English dictionary, but after visiting Mexico three times in the last year, I feel I now have the highly trained professional expertise to share some terms you’ll want to have saved in your hard drive (your frontal lobe, ese). I assure you that they are all translated 100% correct:

Baño – Emergency Relief Unit

This is the most important word in the Spanish language. Given Mexico’s reputation for rumbly tummies and the ever-present threat of [in scary voice] Montezuma’s Revenge (which by the way, used to be an awesome ride at Knott’s Berry Farm… in retrospect, why would you name a rollercoaster after getting the runs, though!?), this is a term all travelers should keep close to their hearts, or at the very least stomachs when in need of some emergency relief. And I find that with the amount I usually drink on vacation, it’s always beneficial to know where you can get ready for the next round.

El Bar – Hydration Station

Much like the baño, I find it imperative to know where the nearest place to quench my thirst is. While this term shouldn’t trip up too many travelers, I thought it was worth sharing with Sip Nation.

Cerveza – Drinkable Mexican Drinking Water

Be Smart. Keep Hydrated. Drink lots of Cerveza. You can often find it at El Bar.

Cuánto cuesta? – How much does it cost?

This is the term you want to use once you have become a victim of a common and unavoidable threat in Mexico – the Mexican vendor. After you have fallen prey to the words “almost free” or “free tequila” and have realized your mistake (and let’s hope it’s not fatal), try pointing to something bright (which is most likely everything in the store) and throwing the term, “Cuánto cuesta” at the vendor to show how “in the know” you actually are in a desperate attempt to regain some of your lost pride.

Of course, if you are anything like me, as soon as the vendor answers in Spanish and you look at them blankly, then you come crashing down hard with your gringo status firmly re-established. Then there’s the whole bartering process, which I find about as much as having my chest waxed. Oh hell, just buy the flipping blanket and get out of there!

When I recently tried to pick up a Lucha Libre wrestling mask, the seller wouldn’t move off his price unless I bought two masks. But who needs two La Parka wrestling masks? Maybe Two-Bad from He-Man, I suppose.

Amigo – Person I want a favour (read: money) from

Pretty much every Mexican male I’ve ever encountered has called me their amigo. I must be special, but upon further thought I wonder if this actually true? Will my new found amigo send me birthday gifts, preferably in $100 denominations? Probably not. Maybe that’s what they’re expecting of me. Oh man, don’t tell my wife. Things are about to get loco with the Sip Advisor budget.

Pollo, carne asada, carnitas – food with wings, food with hooves, smaller food with hooves

Essential to any person’s understanding of Spanish is how to order food – or if you’re enjoying the buffet at an all-inclusive resort, what the hell you’re putting on your plate. Of course, if things are tasting bueno (good), you might want mucho (more)!

Pendejo – um, I’ll tell you when you’re a little older

Or you can click here.

Now that your linguistic lesson is complete, let’s get back to Tequila Week with this great drink!

Drink #24: Paloma

1.5 oz Tequila (I used El Jimador Reposado)
Grapefruit Soda or combo of grapefruit juice and lemon-lime soda
Rim glass with salt
Garnish with lime wheel

In closing, I should let you all know that el mono means monkey. This may not be important to most, but it’s a complete necessary for me and bookmarked in my Spanish-English dictionary. I don’t want to see any doves, I just want to drink them (see above), but if there’s a monkey to be seen, damnit, I want to see it!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I wish I had tried this drink with a Grapefruit Soda, such as Fresca, but I didn’t have that on hand and went with a combo of Graprefruit Juice and Lemon-Lime Soda. It tasted pretty good, but I’d love to try the legit recipe. The salted rim is a touch I enjoy on most drinks.

January 23 – Brave Bull

Posted on January 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Coffee Confessions

I know I’m going to catch a fair bit of flak for this, but I absolutely hate coffee. To me, it’s a vile substance. Here’s a quick list of items I would rather drink:

Laundry detergent
The blue dye they use in tampon commercials… after it’s been used in a tampon commercial
Major city puddle water
A turkey milkshake

You get the point, I have an anti-coffee agenda…

I like to note the different types of coffee drinkers and have taken time to observe them at the office in which I work. The first is the repeat offender. These are the coffee drinkers who I am unsure if they really love drinking the tasteless muck so much or if they have just made some higher sacrifice in order to enjoy the additional breaks that seem to come along with “quick” coffee runs… about 10 times per day. It’s like how people used to smoke just to get more break time. Repeat offenders are the coffee drinkers, who somehow can’t manage the 15 or so steps that it would take them to come to the front desk and pick up their faxes, but have no problem breezing by that same front desk multiple times a day in order to get their precious java. They will be the first to suggest going on a “Starbucks run” for fellow co-workers. You know who I’m talking about!

Then there is the junkie coffee drinker. The ones that might as well be intravenously connected to a coffee drip 24/7. These are the folks that CAN’T LIVE without a coffee by their side every moment of the day. The true addict. The other day, I overheard one co-worker remark that Starbucks should make deliveries. While she might make a valid point and it may be a concept the company has or will experiment with, you have to realize that the nearest Starbucks to my office is on the opposite corner of the block we’re located on. You’re telling me that you can’t walk less than a block for your hourly fix, just to get you through the day!? I realize this could potentially cause a brief delay between re-fills. Re-friggin’-diculous!

One of those ‘junkie’ coffee drinkers!

Finally, there is the only-on-a-date coffee drinker. The guy who hates the substance about as much as I do, but gets convinced that he has to take a new date out to coffee and ‘get to know her’ before she’ll finally get into bed with him. Where this poor sap really gets screwed over (and I don’t mean in the bed) is that he’ll likely have to buy BOTH drinks… and still not get laid!

Personally, I don’t even like being in Starbucks. I just feel uncomfortable, as if I don’t belong… and everyone there knows it. And I probably don’t. The most complicated thing I’ve ever ordered in the store is a hot chocolate. I can’t imagine having to memorize some bizarre order like a tall, non-fat, chai tea latte, easy on the chai (okay I’ve memorized that one because it’s Mrs. Sip Advisor’s order) or other bizarre orders: “I’ll have one permanent dump truck, tears from a newborn baby, easy on the gravel, with a sprinkle of cinnamon (okay, I might have made that one up… I’m pretty sure it would just translate into “one regular coffee, please”)!

I have only had one coffee drink in my life. It was on our honeymoon cruise and our waiter – who didn’t speak the best English – was so excited in describing the 2-for-1 Irish Coffee deal that before we could even decline, he had run off to put in an order. Our drinks arrived and while the presentation was cool, with a flaming sugar cube added to the mix, it still tasted like death in a cup to me. Not even alcohol could save this colossal failure. We still gulped down our bevvies, as we had paid for them, and for the rest of the night I couldn’t get the taste of yuck out of my mouth, no matter how hard I tried to drown it with other spirits.

So, I bet you’re asking what I do drink to get me through the day: water. Nothing but pure, delicious water. And then when I get home, it’s more water (that and booze and mixers for this project… and booze also not for this project). It’s just how I roll.

All that said, you may be shocked to know that I do give liqueurs like Kahlua a pass… and speak of the devil.

Drink #23: Brave Bull

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Añejo)
1 oz Kahlua
Garnish with a Lemon Twist

This is the fun of Tequila Week, as I get to try drinks I normally wouldn’t. Diamonds in the rough that perhaps most people haven’t heard about. I actually quite enjoyed this one, despite it’s coffee liqueur. I also want to point out that this was my first attempt at making a lemon twist (or any twist other than the Beatles “Twist and Shout”) and I think I did a pretty good job (not that you can see it from the photo, you’ll just have to take my word for it). If you make this drink for yourself, let me know what you thought. Non-coffee drinkers only!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was actually a pretty decent cocktail, despite my anti-coffee stance. It provided my first attempt at a “twist” garnish and while it looks okay, it’s a skill I will have to improve at. While I wouldn’t drink these on a regular basis, from time to time, they might hit the spot.

January 21 – Tequila Sunrise

Posted on January 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Re-Tequila-fication

Hola, amigos! It’s day two of Tequila Week and it’s probably time for a little education on the subject.

I know what you’re thinking, friends: as if you need another liquor lesson so soon after the last one. But fear not, for today is special. We are being joined by The Sip Advisor’s Mexican correspondent, Señor Juan Agave (pictured below). Judging by his photo, he really knows his tequila, or as I like to sometimes call it, to-kill-ya!

There are five different categories of tequila:

Blanco – un-aged white tequila; sometimes called Silver Tequila (this is generally the cheaper stuff that all us gringos like to slam back at Señor Frog’s during Spring Break)
Joven – a mixture of blanco and reposado tequilas; sometimes called Gold Tequila
Reposado – “rested” tequila, aged for a minimum of two months
Añejo – “aged” or “vintage” tequila, aged for a minimum of one year (your sipping Tequila… that’s right you’re actually supposed to SIP fine tequila… crazy, right?)
Extra Añejo – “extra aged” or “ultra aged” tequila, aged for a minimum of three years

The Extra Añejo category has only existed since 2006 and Joven is not very common, with Blanco, Reposado and Añejo being the most recognizable distinctions. The difference between all the categories, is in smoothness, with longer aging meaning a less harsh taste. If you’re not too picky, don’t worry about it. The booze all ends up in the same place, after all… with the same results.

On the other hand, awesome Añejo tequilas can be found for reasonable prices (in places other than Canada, that is) and these can really improve the taste of any mixed drink.

Now let’s tackle the worm myth… I’d put money on the fact that every person who reads this and has taken a trip to Mexico, had at least one person tell them: “Don’t drink the worm, man!” There is no worm. You will never find a reputable bottle of tequila with a worm in it. A worm in tequila is like some kind of moonshine-maker project. If you do find a bottle of tequila in some back alley in Mexico with a worm in it, drink it immediately… this is the true fountain of youth. Please report back to me on your results… after you’re released from the hospital, of course.

There are two municipalities in Mexico named Tequila and both are producers of the liquor. One is located in Veracruz and the other in Jalisco. In Jalisco, the people are known to chase their tequila shots with a drink called Sangrita, meaning “little blood”. It’s comprised of orange juice, lime juice, grenadine, chili powder or hot sauce and a slice or two of jalapenos… hey, why not add the jalapenos? Also, in Jalisco, there is a train called the Tequila Express. Imagine if Agatha Christie’s famous novel was actually titled Murder on the Tequila Express and featured all the characters getting liquored up and into fist fights while solving the crime.

And, very randomly, the song Tequila, originally performed by The Champs, reached #1 on the Billboard Charts on March 28, 1958. It was recorded in just three takes and was never intended to be more than a B-side jam session track. I’m totally going to blast that tune while doing this Saturday’s Super Shot!

As for the Tequila Sunrise and it’s trivial pursuit, well, it has been used for the title of a movie, a pair of songs (by The Eagles and Cypress Hill, respectively) and was the finishing move of pro wrestler Konnan.

Drink #21: Tequila Sunrise

1.5 oz Tequila (I used Hornitos Reposado)
Top with Orange Juice
Drizzle Grenadine into the drink and let it settle
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

If done properly, or as I usually work, above average, you will have the makings of a beautiful liquid sunrise, with the red atmosphere rising to greet the day and a little fireball in the sky. Mix it all up and the sunrise is complete. In the future, I will also be making the Tequila Sunset, which substitutes blackberry liqueur or brandy for the grenadine!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
For some reason, I often find Orange Juice-based drinks disappointing and this recipe was no different. Sure, it looks neat with the Grenadine floating through the juice, but I can’t completely get behind the taste of the mix.

January 18 – Lounge Lizard

Posted on January 18, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bar Hopping

While being privileged to travel the world, I’ve made numerous stops in bars and lounges, some good, some bad. Here are my favourites:

JT Sch mid’s – Anaheim , CA

There is nothing like seeing the sea of Vancouver Canucks fans invade this bar in Anaheim (conveniently across the street from the Honda Centre) after a Canucks-Ducks NHL game. Enjoying a hefeweizen beer in the outside patio with its fire pits and heaters: $10; a mass of Canucks fans booing the hometown Anaheim fans looking to enjoy a pint: priceless!

Jimmy’s Taphouse – Vancouver, B.C.

Jimmy’s is my hometown favourite to grab a pint. Reasonably priced drinks, excellent food and the best part is that the place is just a block walk away from my apartment and has a cool view of our city’s Colosseum-style library. It is also one of the few places downtown where I can find Red Truck Lager. They also have the occasional customer appreciation night where you, the valued customer, can score some free pints and food! Jimmy (whoever he is) is my man!

Hyde Lounge – Las Vegas, NV

This is one of my favourite, surprisingly hidden, attractions in Sin City. Here, you can sip a wide array of martinis and other cocktails and although the drinks are a little pricey, it is well worth it for the front row view of the Bellagio’s water fountain show. I’d stay here all day if it wasn’t for the previously mentioned prices and after about 9pm, they start pumping club music into the place, rather than the music that goes so perfectly with the fountains. Therefore, after a few warm-up drinks at Hyde, and looking to stretch our money a little more, we’re off into the night, eventually ending up at…

The Pub – Las Vegas, NV

It may not have the cleverest title, but two words: dueling pianos… the greatest bar invention since the keg. This bar, located inside the Monte Carlo, is amazing. You can get a pint of beer or shot of Jameson Whiskey for $2… I am prone to doubling down and getting both. Mixing beer and liqour… it’s really the only gambling I do in Vegas. The dueling pianists – once again, that’s pianists – take requests from the audience all night long and because of the ample seating in the bar, we’ve never had an issue getting in. The food here is also decent and while there are other dueling piano locations on the strip, this is far and above, my favourite.

Willie T’s – Key West, FL

My wife and I did a self-guided pub crawl when our Western Caribbean cruise stopped in Key West, Florida. Pay $40 each for the cruise-sponsored excursion, only to be taken around and still have to pay for drinks on top of that??? Fuck that noise! They hit a trio of places, while we squeezed at least eight places into our crawl – best described as more of a stagger. I say at least eight because although we were trying to take a picture outside each place, well counting wasn’t our forte that day. Our preferred stop along the crawl route was Willie T’s, which is very recognizable thanks to the dollar bills stapled all around the joint. To top the story off, we paid a combined total of $50 on drinks and food!

The Fox & Fiddle – Toronto, ON

I spent a lot of good nights at The Fox & Fiddle during my year living in Toronto. Notable for its incredibly huge team pitchers (approx. two pitchers in one), it was here that I spent April Fool’s Day, Canada Day and my birthday that year, as well as my karaoke debut (probably due to the aforementioned team pitchers). Sadly, it was also the setting for my goodbye round of drinks with all the friends I made over my stay.

Coco Bongo – Cancun, Mexico

I hate clubs. I mean absolutely downright hate them… except this little gem. A Mexican specialty your cover charge is all-inclusive. They serve you tequila shots as you wait to enter the place, then once you’re inside, guess what, more tequila shots! The music is rocking, drinks are flowing freely, and just when you think it can’t get any better, the show element begins, as dancers, actors and stuntmen do takes on movies like Chicago, Spiderman and others. All of a sudden confetti and balloons are being shot around and it all gets pretty epic. What could be the cherry of this awesome sundae? Oh, I don’t know, how about a midget dressed as Beetlejuice pouring a shot into your mouth!

Drink #18: Lounge Lizard

1.5 oz Dark Rum
1 oz Disaronno
Top with Cola
Garnish with lemon wedge stand for umbrella (umbrella sold separately!)

It should be noted that I’ve found another variant to this drink, same name, but different ingredients, which completely change the look of the cocktail. The second Lounge Lizard combines melon liquer, blue Curacao, coconut rum and lemon-lime soda and you can bet your sweet bippy that I’ll be making it sometime in the future. So, continue checking back at the ol’ Sip Advisor and keep on keeping on!

Part 2 of my favourite bars will be posted in the future, along with another wonderful cocktail. Have a great weekend, all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoyed this drink. It’s simple yet delicious. It makes me wonder if there’s anything Disaronno (Amaretto) can’t mix well with, as I’ve yet to find a concoction where it doesn’t hit the spot.

January 17 – Sea Breeze

Posted on January 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

I’m Hot for Teacher (It’s Me!)

Today is all about education at The Sip Advisor. At least this isn’t a science course and I’m not teaching you about real sea breezes. No, where we’re going, you don’t need any stinkin’ notepads. We’re learning through drinking. So, take off your hats and glasses, because this here’s the wildest ride in the wilderness! (*Gold star if you know where the reference comes from…)

The fraternal twin of the Bay Breeze gets its chance to shine today. What’s funny about the Sea Breeze is how many times the recipe has changed over the years. It’s as if makers of the drink were never fully satisfied with the ingredients… that or they got too drunk and forgot how to make it properly, stumbling upon better recipes accidentally. It began as a gin and grenadine mix during prohibition times, which would later include apricot brandy and lemon juice. Then it consisted of vodka, dry vermouth, Galliano and blue Curacao in the 1930’s (so yes, Sea Breezes used to have blue in it like… well, the sea!) . When cranberry juice began to be a popular mixer with alcohol, the Sea Breeze saw another adjustment to its formula (gone went the blue so that the closest ingredient referencing the sea today is if you use Ocean Spray cranberry juice).

Sea Breeze also has a family, known as the Cape Codder drinks. Descendant from papa Codder are sisters the Greyhound and the Salty Dog, as well as broski, the Bay Breeze. All these drinks saw a dip in popularity during the 1960’s as the U.S. Department of Health announced that cranberry crops were contaminated with toxic herbicides (who dropped the ball on that one?), before making a resurgence in the 1970’s, likely because of disco music (okay, I don’t know that last part for a fact, but you have to blame something and it might as well be disco. What’s disco going to do? Come after me? Get all up in my face and challenge me… to a dance off… which I would lose… dammit!)

Many popular actors and actresses have ordered the Sea Breeze on TV and in movies. This list includes Meg Ryan (French Kiss), David Spade (Just Shoot Me!), Woody Harrelson (The Walker) and perhaps neatest of all, especially for all the geeks out there who were into the whole Buffy/Angel series (which I may know all about having been forced to watch both entire series – that’s 12 seasons of awful – by a girl I once dated… and still married, despite the torture), the collectible figure of Lorne from Angel comes with his very own Sea Breeze accessory, as it was the character’s drink of choice.

Now let’s all reenact the “Oh Captain, my Captain” scene from Dead Poets Society… no, you don’t want to do that for me… alright, but Robin Williams – the original Furby – is going to hold this over my head for years to come.

Drink #17: Sea Breeze

1.5 oz Vodka
Top with half cranberry juice and half grapefruit juice
Garnish with lime wedge

Please turn in your pencils, as time is up on the exam. Your final grades will be in at the end of the week and have a great summer. It may only be January, but it’s nice to think ahead to those warmer months, those colder drinks and the wonderful smell of barbecued meat!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The Sea Breeze fared just as well as its sibling the Bay Breeze in that it was a decent drink, but nothing to take your breath away. They are both nice summer drinks and maybe I made the mistake of reviewing them in January.

January 16 – Not So Fuzzy Navel

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Mantiquing

I’m not the biggest man-scaper out there. That doesn’t mean I don’t take care of myself. I hit the gym, clip my nails, gel my hair on special occasions, shave and shower regularly… you know, all the necessary stuff… Wow, I’ll stop right there because this is starting to feel like an eHarmony profile. (P.S.: I’d be horrible in today’s dating world!)

Let’s cut straight to the chase. Recently and for the second time in my life, I got my chest waxed. I won’t do things like manicures and pedicures, but when I’m going to spend a week or longer with my shirt frequently off, the chest hair has to go. It’s my personal choice, but I like to think the results speak for themselves.

Back to my story, remember I’m a rookie at all this, I enter the house of pain otherwise known as a spa and I’m not even sure what to do or where to go. I’m quickly ushered by the uninterested receptionist to a back room (I don’t like where this is going). The door is then shut behind me and all I see is a pot of wax being melted, jazz music being played and a muted showing of Pirates of the Caribbean on the little TV in the room.

I quickly conclude that this could possibly be a death trap at the hands of a pirate-loving saxophonist. Adding to my uneasiness is the faint sound of screams I can hear that seem to have been absorbed by the walls over years and years of hair being ripped out in the name of self-beautification. But it must be my imagination, right? At this point I’m wondering what on earth made me decide this was a good idea.

Then the door opens and a woman comes in and tells me to take my shirt off… if only it was that easy in the outside world. This must be the waxer… waxist?… whatever, I’m past caring by this point. Once topless and lying down on the gurney (easier to wheel out the bodies after?) – some wax is applied to a strip-sized area of my chest. My shoes are still on. Don’t want to get TOO comfortable, plus it gives me the ability to run away, if necessary. What a sight that would be: the Sip Advisor running half naked down the streets of downtown Vancouver with one patch of chest hair missing.

The first few strips are yanked off and it’s not a walk in the park. She must almost be finished, I think, until I take a quick look down and see that barely any progress has been made. “You have a strong pain threshold,” the waxologist tells me and I feel like a badass! She tears another strip and tears well up in my eyes, so much for being a badass.

The worst part is that Ms. Wax N’ Buff wants to have a conversation while she’s doing her job. It’s like the dentist chatting you up while their fingers and tools are in your mouth… okay dirty birdy, not that tool… As I’m in mid-reply to one of her questions, she yanks a strip of fur off my stomach and I nearly choke on my own words.

Finally, it’s over! I breathe a sigh of relief and let my guard down, until I’m splashed with alcohol. My eyes shoot open and I try valiantly to push through the burn. Then it’s time to towel off, pay my bill and leave. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am!

When I get home, I’m looking to recover from the traumatic experience… I need a drink. I drink when recovering from most things: chick flicks, the Canucks losing the playoffs (again), the mention of the word vasectomy… it’s what I do! That’s when I stumbled upon the Not So Fuzzy Navel. It seemed like perfect choice.

Drink #16: Not So Fuzzy Navel

1.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with half Grapefruit Juice and half Orange Juice
Garnish with Orange Wedges

The drink did its job and numbed my pain… that is until I had to do my next application of rubbing alcohol… Not to fear, loyal readers, that was followed by my next application of drinking alcohol!

Are you into mantiquing? Got any tips for me? Leave me a comment. My wife may appreciate your advice for me, more than I do!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This is a very light drink given it’s only liquor is Peach Schnapps. The flavour was pretty good given you have peach, grapefruit and orange all coming together and I was surprised they blended so well.

January 14 – Spiced Sour

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Evolution

One of my favourite elements of mixology is trying new liquors and mixers and seeing how different things come together in look and taste. I love how innovative some companies are becoming, as they release different flavours and adaptations of their normal products.

There are a ton of flavoured vodkas and rums out there. Vodka companies like Van Gogh and Pinnacle seem to be bringing out new flavours on a regular basis, while Stoli and Smirnoff can be counted on for the more traditional tastes like various berry and citrus brands. Bacardi and Captain Morgan have this variety covered in the rum world. Whiskey and tequila companies seem to be getting on board with this concept as well and over the last few years, we’ve seen a number of innovative products hit the market.

Some of the more interesting flavours I’ve seen out there, that I’d like to try, include:

Three Olives Loopy (Froot Loops-flavoured vodka) – It’s very important to start your day off on the right note with a balanced breakfast. I bet Toucan Sam never smelled this one coming!

Van Gogh Peanut Butter & Jelly Vodka – Why not drink my favourite sandwich (and I make a mean PB&J).

Bakon Vodka – I’m a huge bacon fan and can’t wait to sample this sometime, although it’s a bit pricey. If they ever create a pulled pork vodka, I’ll be first in line!

360 Glazed Donut Vodka – With the Froot Loops, PB&J, bacon and now donut flavours, you have breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert, respectively, all covered.

Malibu Red (coconut rum mixed with tequila) – I’m really curious about this liquor. The coconut and tequila blend might be really nice and a unique twist for some new cocktails.

Malibu Fresh (coconut rum mixed with mint) – Like Malibu Red, I have to give this a try before judging, but at first glance, I just can’t see coconut and mint coming together well… or maybe I can.

Crown Royal Maple – I fully intend to pour this on waffles and pancakes. I love Crown Royal and trust that they know what they’re doing.

With all that said, I recently picked up a bottle of Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey. I was excited to try this because I love spiced rum (particularly Sailor Jerry’s) and I love whiskey. Put the two together and you should be on the right track. The Wiser’s did not disappoint and came with a little card advertising a few recipes to try with the new release. One of those was the Spiced Sour, an adaptation of the Whiskey Sour, one of my all-time faves.

Drink #14: Spiced Sour

2 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
1.5 oz lemon juice
1 oz simple syrup
Dash of egg whites
Garnish with lemon wedge and Maraschino cherry

I have to admit that I didn’t even realize until this post was almost complete that I forgot the egg whites. Usually you shake all the ingredients together and strain. The egg whites leave a foamy layer at the top of the drink. All the recipes I was looking at skip this step of the process, but I’ve made enough whiskey sours in my time that I should know better. I apologize to all the little Sip-A-Maniacs out there. I am, of course, open to better names for fans of this blog…

Do you have other examples of liquor-flavour evolution that you’d like to pass on to me? That would be greatly appreciated. My thanks, in advance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m such a maroon. After making the drink, taking the required photos and downing that bad boy, I realized that I had neglected to include the frothy egg whites in the concoction. Well, dock the Sip Advisor a couple points on your score card. The drink is very heavy in lemon flavour, which sometimes I find to be too much. Otherwise, it’s a recommendable cocktail.

January 13 – Long Island Iced Tea

Posted on January 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Lightweights

Lightweights are lucky–they get drunk without having to spend much cash. I’m not saying I’m a heavyweight, but I probably fall somewhere in the middle thanks to years of experience and conditioning. The Long Island Iced Tea can be very deceptive for any lightweight. It tastes so good that you feel you’re not drinking much, but because of all the ingredients it takes to make the concoction (2.5 oz of liquor in each, plus limited mixer), you’re actually getting sloshed quite quickly. Both Marge Simpson and Sheldon Cooper have been victims of the Long Island Iced Tea’s venom. Here are some other classic lightweights:

Stan Smith (American Dad)

Wanting to live life 1960’s style after watching an episode of Bewitched, Stan proposes to his wife Francine that they make a habit of having evening martinis when he returns from work. Things go off the rails quickly though when Stan is being chased by Francine through their neighbourhood, Stan in his underwear and Francine trying to get him to stop running. How many drinks did Stan have to be behaving in this manner? He consumed one cocktail.

Intoxi-Quoted (my word invention for quotes delivered while on the sauce!): Yaaaaaaahhhhh [unintelligible noises]

Stewie Griffin (Family Guy)

I can’t really blame a baby for getting plastered so easily. He is literally the definition of a lightweight. Stewie starts drinking in order to be nicer and again it only takes one drink to get him tanked. When he refuses to stop boozing, Brian takes him to the Drunken Clam and gets him blitzed, in the hopes that he’ll quit. This, of course, doesn’t end well, with the pair crashing their car – driven by Stewie (naturally if a baby can drink, he can surely drive, as well) – into the bar. After experiencing a massive hangover the next morning, Stewie does give up the bottle… at least the one filled with liquor. QUITTER!

Intoxi-Quoted: [on top of a shelf, drunk] Everybody! Everybody! I’m gonna jump! Gonna jump from… Gonna jump… to my high chair! You ready? Can you… Can you see me… gonna jump… gonna ju… jump to my highchair. You watching? Are you? Are you? [jumps and misses highchair] Ow! You see me?

Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)

When the Simpson family attended a magic show-themed restaurant, Marge was given a Long Island Iced Tea by the magician and found the drink to be quite enjoyable (well, because, it IS quite enjoyable!) Before the show was over, she downed multiple cocktails and was totally soused. Her new found loss of inhibitions resulted in her taking to the stage as the magician’s volunteer. Once back at home, Marge continued to imbibe in frequent Long Island Iced Teas. My kind of lady!

Intoxi-Quoted: “I’d like to visit that Long Island place, if only it were real.”

Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory)

Sheldon (Jim Parsons) can be difficult to deal with. Penny (Kaley Cuoco), one of his most frequent combatants is a bartender at The Cheesecake Factory. When Sheldon saddles up to the bar and asks for something more than Chamomile Tea, Penny serves him (she could serve me anytime!) a Long Island Iced Tea, which he believes is non-alcoholic (due to the words “ice tea”). Sheldon slams a couple quickly, resulting in him confronting on-again, off-again frenemy, Wil Wheaton. He also lost his pants in another booze-related incident.

Intoxi-Quoted: “Get the Mad Hatter on the horn, I’m having a tea party!”

Tom Haverford (Parks and Recreation)

Looking to stir up some business, Tom (Aziz Ansari) takes former NBA star Detlef Schrempf to the club he has an ownership stake in, The Snakehole Lounge. While there, Tom seems to be very inebriated. It’s is later revealed by Schrempf, however, that Tom has only consumed two beers… and lite beers at that.

Intoxi-Quoted: “I’m DRUNK!” [at charity telethon]

Doc Brown (Back to the Future)

In the third edition of the time travel franchise, Doc (Christopher Lloyd) passes out following a single shot of whiskey, which is bad enough, but all it took for him to get a buzz going was to smell the drink. And really, how could you ever tell whether or not he’s hitting the bottle… he’s so erratic in his natural behaviour. That’s why we like him!

Intoxi-Quoted: No quote available… the good doctor passed out until morning.

And here’s the drink that brought down two characters on this list and countless others in the real world!:

Drink #13: Long Island Iced Tea

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz White Rum
0.5 oz Gin
0.5 oz Triple Sec
1 oz Sweet & Sour Mix
Top with Cola
Garnish with lemon and lime wedge

That sure is a lot of ingredients, but it’s worth it in the end, as you get a strong, but delicious drink. Alternatively, you could go out and buy a Long Island Iced Tea mixer and all you would have to do is add the Sweet & Sour and Cola. I’ve tried one product like this and enjoyed it, but I do have to say, there’s nothing like the real thing!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoy Long Island Iced Teas, but I feel that simply using the Long Island Iced Tea pre-mixed booze is simpler than having all four necessary liquors on hand and dropping half a shot of each into your drink. When I’ve used the pre-mixed, I don’t notice any difference in taste or effect, so why make things complicated on yourself. Regardless of that little issue, it’s still an awesome cocktail.

January 10 – Bay Breeze

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Missed Connections

Whenever I write a blog for this project, I try to come up with a topic that at least slightly goes along with the drink I’m presenting. Some work better than others. Given that today I’m covering the Bay Breeze, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to talk about one of the most famous, breezy (if sometimes foggy) bays in the world, San Francisco, and my chance to thank a mysterious stranger.

This is my version of a Craigslist ‘Missed Connection’ post. For my honeymoon in September 2012, my wife and I went on a two-and-a-half week cruise through the Panama Canal. We started in our hometown of Vancouver and finished in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. The first port of the sailing was San Francisco. We had previously stopped in San Francisco earlier in May 2012, before taking a short cruise from San Fran back to Vancouver

(Note: Yep, we’re 29 going on 50 with all our cruisin’, but until you’ve sat on your own cabin balcony, clad only in a robe, with drink in hand, don’t knock it.)

On that trip, we spent most of our short time there, exploring the famous piers, where we enjoyed fantastic seafood meals, scrumptious sourdough bread and delicious pints at Beer 39 (cleverly located on Pier 39). When we returned in September, our plan was to once again hit the piers, but this time, my wife wanted to do some wine tasting. I got my beer last time, so it was only fair to do wine for her on this stop.

(Note: We still hit Beer 39 for a flight of beers because I wear the pants in this relationship!)

(Note: I don’t, but I’ve made peace with that!)

It was a grayish day in the bay area, but nice enough that we were able to sit outside on the beautiful fern covered patio for our wine tasting at Wines of California Wine Bar, ironically with our cruise ship situated behind us in the distance. We took turns taking pictures of each other with the ship in the background, before a woman at the table next to us asked if we wanted one together.

(Note: I love the random people you meet while out on a drinking adventure… the salt of the earth, if you ask me.)

One thing led to another and we began chatting with her and her boyfriend. They had been dating a few months and as a 50th birthday present (although the dude looked like he should have been celebrating 40, instead) she had taken him on a surprise trip to San Francisco. We chatted about our honeymoon just starting, his 50th birthday bash, which tequila we should look out for in Mexico (our next stop was Cabo San Lucas and he was a bit of an expert, given his Mexican heritage and story about how much tequila they had at his party).

It was a great way to spend some of our stop and I even found a wine that I really enjoyed, Francis Coppola’s 2011 Diamond Collection-Emerald Label-Pinot Grigio, which was kind of a big deal because I’m not the biggest wine connoisseur.

(Note: Yes, that Francis Coppola – producer of Apocalypse Now, etc. and uncle of Nicholas Cage – in case you were wondering!)

The couple we were chatting with had to run for their tour of Alcatraz Island and so with a “happy honeymoon” they paid their bill and we said our goodbyes. My wife and I finished out wine flights and food and I began wondering why the waitress hadn’t approached us for a little bit. Perhaps she was just letting us enjoy our afternoon without interruption. When she finally came over to us, she revealed that the couple had covered our tab.

We were truly touched by the generosity of these complete strangers and it was an absolutely amazing way to begin our long-awaited vacation. We have vowed to pay this kindness forward when we are in a similar situation in the future and I look forward to doing so.

So, wherever they may be and I hope they one day read this, from the bottom of my heart (as well as my wife’s), I thank both of you for providing us with a wonderful example of how to do things right for your fellow human beings.

Now onto today’s drink…

Drink #10: Bay Breeze

1.5 oz vodka
Top with half cranberry juice and half pineapple juice
Garnish with a lime wedge

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I wasn’t a huge fan of this drink. That’s not to say it was bad, but it just didn’t amaze me or anything. Pineapple Juice is far from one of my preferred mixers, so maybe that played a role.

January 8 – Scotch on the Rocks

Posted on January 8, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Potent Quotables

So, I come home from a long day at the office to screaming kids, a messy place and an angry wife… not to mention no dinner on the table. Just kidding, only one of those things was true and that’s only because I do most of the cooking around here at the Sip Advisor offices.

Still, I felt that it was a good day to put away the mixology tools, pour myself a glass of scotch and wax philosophical about some of my favourite alcohol quotes. So, put on your tweed jackets with leather elbow patches and join me for a riveting tour through the human psyche… inebriated edition.

“To alcohol, the cause of… and solution to, all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

I love this quote. It really sums up the whole life story of booze in 12 words and some ellipses or dashes… whichever you prefer. Alcohol can mend fences as quickly as it can burn those fences to the ground, if you’re not careful. Take one sip if it’s caused you a problem. Take two sips if it’s solved an issue. Chug if it has destroyed and fixed the same problem, or vice versa, in succession.

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

Oh, Frankie… you sure did do it your way! If I’m to take anything from his quote, my enemies also consist of my wife, kitties and blankets.

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” – George Bernard Shaw

Way to be a bit of a killjoy, Mr. Shaw. Although you have given me an idea for any future surgeries I may have to confront. Instead of taking the prescribed anesthesia (when I was 12 and had my kidney removed it looked like apple juice, but brother it sure didn’t taste like apple juice and I still can’t bring myself to drink AJ to this day) I’ll just get loaded to the point of passing out and then the doctors can do their worse to me.

“Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” – Sammy Davis, Jr.

Who would have ever thought that The Rat Pack members would be asked their thoughts on alcohol? Hell, you could probably write an entire book on the group’s exploits with and thoughts on liquor. Sammy makes a great point, though… why do you think my wife drinks?!

Oh, Winston, that hand signals means quite a different thing now than it did in your day…

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

Atta boy Winston… you show them who’s the man. And we should all be enjoying life to the fullest, taking everything we can out of it. You only get one shot at living and I’ll be damned if I’m going to take it easy on myself in order to extend a life that can be snuffed out by things beyond my control.

“Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.” – Raymond Chandler

Sure, you could make an analogy between the start of a relationship and getting drunk for the first times in your life… but have you ever seen a bottle of booze naked… there’s really not much there to enjoy.

“That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.” – Charles Bukowski

Alcohol is many things to many different people. Some don’t like it, some love it and some don’t care either way. To me, booze should only be drunk in times of good… thankfully, I’m a very happy man!

And now, here’s something we hope you’ll really like (ala Rocky the Flying Squirrel)…

Drink #8: Scotch on the Rocks

2 oz Scotch (I used my Glenfiddich: Milleniumm Vintage)
Add ice as desired
Garnish with whatever meets your fancy

For the occasional scotch drinker, unless you are sipping an 18-year-old scotch, chances are you will feel the need for a bit of ice. Some Scotch connoisseurs may turn their nose up at a bit of ice, but hey it’s your drink and I’m over here getting too drunk to judge (I generally leave that to women and cats… especially cats, those judgmental, but very cute buggers).

I love my bottle of scotch, given to me as a wedding gift. I just find the details of the scotch (part of the new millennium batch and bottled the year I got married) to be so neat and a case of symmetry in my life. It’s almost as if it were fate that all these moving parts came together for me. So, please join me in a toast with whatever you have in your hand:

“To alcohol… because life just isn’t the same without it!” – Daniel Wilson aka The Sip Advisor

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
What can you say about Scotch on the Rocks that hasn’t been said by millions of others over time. It is certainly an acquired taste and one that I’ve been happy to develop in recent years. It will certainly make you feel all warm and fuzzy in little time and the smoky flavour is an enjoyable one for me.

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Category Archives: Crazy & Classic Cocktails