Category Archives: Crazy & Classic Cocktails

January 8 – Scotch on the Rocks

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Potent Quotables

So, I come home from a long day at the office to screaming kids, a messy place and an angry wife… not to mention no dinner on the table. Just kidding, only one of those things was true and that’s only because I do most of the cooking around here at the Sip Advisor offices.

Still, I felt that it was a good day to put away the mixology tools, pour myself a glass of scotch and wax philosophical about some of my favourite alcohol quotes. So, put on your tweed jackets with leather elbow patches and join me for a riveting tour through the human psyche… inebriated edition.

Homer quote

“To alcohol, the cause of… and solution to, all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

I love this quote. It really sums up the whole life story of booze in 12 words and some ellipses or dashes… whichever you prefer. Alcohol can mend fences as quickly as it can burn those fences to the ground, if you’re not careful. Take one sip if it’s caused you a problem. Take two sips if it’s solved an issue. Chug if it has destroyed and fixed the same problem, or vice versa, in succession.

Frank Sinatra Quote

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

Oh, Frankie… you sure did do it your way! If I’m to take anything from his quote, my enemies also consist of my wife, kitties and blankets.

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” – George Bernard Shaw

Way to be a bit of a killjoy, Mr. Shaw. Although you have given me an idea for any future surgeries I may have to confront. Instead of taking the prescribed anesthesia (when I was 12 and had my kidney removed it looked like apple juice, but brother it sure didn’t taste like apple juice and I still can’t bring myself to drink AJ to this day) I’ll just get loaded to the point of passing out and then the doctors can do their worse to me.

Sammy Davis Jr. quote

“Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” – Sammy Davis, Jr.

Who would have ever thought that The Rat Pack members would be asked their thoughts on alcohol? Hell, you could probably write an entire book on the group’s exploits with and thoughts on liquor. Sammy makes a great point, though… why do you think my wife drinks?!

Oh, Winston, that hand signals means quite a different thing now than it did in your day...

Oh, Winston, that hand signals means quite a different thing now than it did in your day…

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

Atta boy Winston… you show them who’s the man. And we should all be enjoying life to the fullest, taking everything we can out of it. You only get one shot at living and I’ll be damned if I’m going to take it easy on myself in order to extend a life that can be snuffed out by things beyond my control.

“Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.” – Raymond Chandler

Sure, you could make an analogy between the start of a relationship and getting drunk for the first times in your life… but have you ever seen a bottle of booze naked… there’s really not much there to enjoy.

Charles Bukowski quote

“That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.” – Charles Bukowski

Alcohol is many things to many different people. Some don’t like it, some love it and some don’t care either way. To me, booze should only be drunk in times of good… thankfully, I’m a very happy man!

And now, here’s something we hope you’ll really like (ala Rocky the Flying Squirrel)…

Drink #8: Scotch on the Rocks

Scotch on the Rocks

For the occasional scotch drinker, unless you are sipping an 18-year-old scotch, chances are you will feel the need for a bit of ice. Some Scotch connoisseurs may turn their nose up at a bit of ice, but hey it’s your drink and I’m over here getting too drunk to judge (I generally leave that to women and cats… especially cats, those judgmental, but very cute buggers).

I love my bottle of scotch, given to me as a wedding gift. I just find the details of the scotch (part of the new millennium batch and bottled the year I got married) to be so neat and a case of symmetry in my life. It’s almost as if it were fate that all these moving parts came together for me. So, please join me in a toast with whatever you have in your hand:

“To alcohol… because life just isn’t the same without it!” – Daniel Wilson aka The Sip Advisor

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
What can you say about Scotch on the Rocks that hasn’t been said by millions of others over time. It is certainly an acquired taste and one that I’ve been happy to develop in recent years. It will certainly make you feel all warm and fuzzy in little time and the smoky flavour is an enjoyable one for me.

January 7 – Whipped White Russian

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Just Pucking Around

I hear ya, boys!

I hear ya, boys!

With the NHL lockout coming to an end early yesterday, hockey has been on my mind. Coincidentally, I had the Whipped White Russian on my schedule for today, although given Russia’s recent victory over Canada at the World Junior Hockey Tournament – stopping Canada’s streak of bringing home a medal at the competition at 14 years in a row – perhaps it should be called a Whipped White Canadian! Wouldn’t that be Howie Mandel, though?

I’m pumped to have hockey coming back, even if I didn’t necessarily miss it while it was gone. There have been many nights where the inclusion of a hockey game (be it Hockey Night in Canada or another broadcast) would have been a stellar addition to my drinking exploits. Best of all, this saves me from having to find another sport to really get into, although I had hopes that roller derby would return to TV. No, really, the best thing about the lockout ending is that all the pundits will have to talk about something else and we can all finally move on from terms like HRR, decertification, disclaimers of interest and Gary Bettman.

I’m just happy to hear it will be returning to a rink near me very soon and now it’s onto the celebration. Cue up Kool and the Gang!

Drink #7: Whipped White Russian

Whipped White Russian Drink

  • Rim glass with chocolate sprinkles
  • 1 oz Chocolate Whipped Vodka or other vodka
  • 1 oz Kahlua
  • Top with milk

So, to all my friends out there that have a passion for puck – I said puck… and it wasn’t a typo – enjoy the season ahead and make sure to get cozy on the couch with one of these bad boys! GO CANUCKS GO!!!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I like White Russians, but this is the first time I ever used Chocolate Whipped Vodka in one and that made the experience that much better. A Chocolate Sprinkle rim and this dessert drink just got that much better!

January 4 – Blue Razz Buzz

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What Exactly is a Blue Raspberry?

Will the real blue raspberry please stand up?

Will the real blue raspberry please stand up?

It’s Friday, you have friends coming over soon and you have nothing prepared, nothing to offer. What do you do, hotshot? WHAT DO YOU DO!?!

Well, I can’t really help you in the food, decoration or entertainment departments, but I do know a great cocktail you can quickly make and offer your guests.

First, though, who ever thought of the concept of blue raspberry? There are sports drinks, candy, syrups, yogurt and snack foods that all rely heavily on blue raspberry flavouring and colouring. However, the last time I checked, raspberries aren’t blue, and as much as I like to think that blue raspberries are found in some special natural orchard secretly harvested by Smurfs, my wife tells me that I’m wrong (she has also shot down my idea that blue raspberry is actually made from Smurfs themselves… I think she just hates Smurfs… or is working with them… but I’ll save my Smurf conspiracy theory for another day).

Aha! I knew it!

Aha! I knew it!

Upon researching the concept, there is surprisingly an actual real live “Blue Raspberry”! Disappointingly, the blue raspberry more commonly appears black and its inside fruit is not of the bright blue colour (often known as brilliant blue) we’ve come to expect from the term blue raspberry (so yet another aptly named food, rather like pineapples, which certainly don’t grow on pine trees and whoever thought they looked like a pinecone must have been indulging in a little too much Caribbean rum – another favourite drink of mine and will be the topic of future posts, but I digress).

As shocking as it may seem, the brilliant blue we know and consume today is not some closely kept Smurf secret, but actually achieved with food colouring in a variety of products. I know, right?!

Similarly, who started spelling raspberry as raZZberry? It’s like they are saying, but not saying, that the substance is completely manufactured and does not contain one berry (or Smurf). I smell another conspiracy, but until I’ve polished off a few of these drinks, I just won’t have the desire to dig deeper.

Drink #4: Blue Razz Buzz

Blue Razz Buzz Drink Recipe

What is YOUR favourite blue raspberry item? Mine, of course, is the beautiful drink you see above, although I’m also a fan of Jolly Ranchers, Airheads and Skittles of this flavour. The best part about the drink, you won’t be walking around with a blue tongue like you will after eating the candy!

P.S.: I realize I’m probably driving my American readers crazy using the English spelling of words like colour and flavour, which appear numerous times in this post. Part of me apologizes and the other part of me wants an apology from you. Let’s call it a wash, providing you continue to visit my site.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Blue Raspberry Mixer is, of course, excellent and combines really well with the Lemon-Lime Soda. We haven’t even got to the boozy part of the drink yet and it’s already a smashing success. Add a little Raspberry Vodka and you’re in booze heaven.

January 2 – Cool Collins

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Cool Collins to Michael Jackson’s Virginity – 6 Degrees of Separation

Cool Collins (Close)

How can one person connect the Cool Collins cocktail to Michael Jackson’s virginity in six simple steps? Watch and learn!

Sometimes I wake up and think, “Today is a Cool Collins day.” After all, that’s my Grumpy Old Man cure, with its citrus charm (I use 7-Up or Sprite, instead of soda) and pleasant presentation (muddled cucumbers, yo!). I love the Grumpy Old Men movies, starring Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau, one of the best comedic duos of all-time. Matthau also played one of my favourite drunks (look out for an upcoming post on this amazing selection of characters) Morris Buttermaker in The Bad News Bears. In that movie, Buttermaker enlists the services of his ex-girlfriends daughter, Amanda Whurlitzer, to pitch for the hapless team. That youngster was played by Tatum O’Neal, who is the youngest person to ever win a competitive Oscar, for her role in the movie Paper Moon. And here’s where things get interesting (as if you’re not enthralled by this connect-the-dots puzzle already): she once dated the ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson, who has claimed that O’Neal was his first love.

So, there you have it: Cool Collins—Grumpy Old Men—Walter Matthau—Bad News Bears—Tatum O’Neal—Michael Jackson’s Virginity!

The game is even more fun when you’ve already had a couple of these cocktails! So here’s my adaptation of a Tom Collins:

Drink #2: Cool Collins (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Cool Collins Drink Recipe

  • Muddle 4-5 thinly sliced cucumber wheels
  • 1.5 oz Hendrick’s or other gin
  • Top with lemon-lime soda
  • Garnish with cucumber wheel or lemon/lime wedge

This is an awesome drink in the summer, but can definitely be rocked in the winter months, as well. Let me know what you think and come back tomorrow for another great recipe. Enjoy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m a huge Tom Collins fan and today I tried to change the recipe up a little. The muddled cucumbers along with the Hendricks Gin gives a great taste of cucumber throughout the drink, which while a mild flavour, has also been an enjoyable one for me. My choice of Lemon-Lime Soda over Club Soda is also an excellent decision.