November 21 – Brain-Duster

Posted on November 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Whiskey Truth

I normally don’t do the quote thing, but I found that whiskey and its close relatives have inspired many to wax philosophical about the liquor. Here are some of the great quotes I was able to find:

“Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it’s time to drink.” ― Haruki Murakami

Yeah, beautiful woman may demand appreciation, but you have to make them work for it a little too! Perhaps throw in a little appreciative tease, making them think you’ve fallen hook, line and sinker. Then pull a complete 180, get off that hook and make them dangle some bait to bring you to the surface again!

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” ― Mark Twain

I’ve never agreed with the statement that too much of a good thing can be bad. I think we should be able to have as much good stuff going in our lives as constantly as possible. Why does our good mojo need to be broken up by some bad vibes? I think that’s bullshit. Whiskey, on the other hand, is always good, so let’s enjoy it for that.

“Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.” ― Compton Mackenzie

I’m sure we’ve all been there (except for those straight edge types) when we find our world spinning a little (or a lot) thanks to a little liquid encouragement! Whenever I’m feeling like an internal merry-go-round, I just ride it out and enjoy all the sensations of utter inebriation. If you can’t handle the waves, you probably shouldn’t have hopped on the boat.

“There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” ― Raymond Chandler

In my memory (as depleted as it may be) I can’t say that I’ve ever tasted a bad whiskey, so I can’t really challenge Mr. Chandler on his assertion. Sadly, Mrs. Sip is not a whiskey fan and this is one thing we can’t share together. It has led to some serious questions about our relationship longevity that I continue to quash with drinking more whiskey.

“Sometimes life is sad. You can cry in your booze, if you want. I think that’s called a Whiskey Sour.” ― Jarod Kintz

I do enjoy Whiskey Sours, but I’ve never thought of creating one from human tears. This could open up a whole new field and craze in the mixology world! Remember, you heard it here first!

“I have never in my life seen a Kentuckian who didn’t have a gun, a pack of cards, and a jug of whiskey.” ― Andrew Jackson

Those Kentuckians sound like pretty great people… well, minus the gun part. I’m totally down with the whole jug of whiskey and pack of cards mentality, though. I think I should organize a little game of strip poker with some southern belles and see if this whole quote actually holds up!

Drink #325: Brain-Duster

1 oz Absinthe
0.5 oz Sweet Vermouth
0.5 oz Whiskey
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with an Orange Wheel

Got a whiskey quote you really like that I haven’t touched upon above? Or do you have an alternative interpretation to what I’ve deciphered here today? Let’s get philosophical together!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2 Sips out of 5):
Good lord this drink is strong. Mrs. Sip snagged a sip of the cocktail while I was prepping dinner (that’s right, the Sip Advisor does it all!) and nearly knocked herself loopy with one fell swoop… or sip. The Absinthe is just so potent and needs to be mixed with just the right ingredients or else it’s hard to make it palatable.

November 20 – Full Moon Lemonade

Posted on November 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

The Next Whiskey Bar

As with most things in life, a clever slogan can be the difference between a hit product and a discontinued failure. It’s no different in the whiskey and bourbon business, as companies look to gain slight advantages over competitors with cunning taglines. Here are some of the Sip Advisor’s favourites:

Wiser’s Whiskey – Welcome to the Society of Uncompromising Men. Welcome to the Wiserhood.

I really enjoy this series of ads, which features the Society of Uncompromising Men (I am a full ranking member) and their slow clap of new recruits. Our meetings consist of gathering around, discussing how to best be men amongst the feminist uprising and drinking. It’s kind of like Al Bundy’s No Ma’am group… no, it’s exactly like that!

Jameson Irish Whiskey – Not a Drop is Sold Till it’s Seven Years Old…

I feel like they should have adapted this slogan more and made it a complete Irish limerick. You know, one of those “There once was a man from Nantucket…” dealies. That said, the fine folks at Jameson make a good point here that rushing out a whiskey product isn’t always the best idea. Let it sit and acquire flavours… then flood the market!

Wild Turkey Bourbon – Too Good to Keep Cooped Up

I like this slogan a lot. It gives me this image of bourbon drinking turkeys running amuck, similar to a zombie apocalypse, as they peck at everything in sight. Then, the Sip Advisor comes in with impressive artillery, takes out all the disgusting fowl, then sits down to a meal that puts all Thanksgivings to shame and steals all the turkey bourbon. Pretty cool imagination, eh!?

Crown Royal Whiskey – For Every King, a Crown

We should all treat ourselves as if we’re royalty. You know, be good to ourselves and indulge in things like fine liquor (Crown Royal is a perfect example), delicious food, yummy treats, fun-filled vacations, and lavish accommodations. You never know when your time will run out, so enjoy everything while you can!

Fireball Whiskey – Taste Like Heaven, Burns Like Hell

I couldn’t agree more, although I’ve never really found Fireball to burn that much. Then again, it seems I’m able to handle heat a little better than some of my counterparts. I love watching people’s reactions when they take a shot. I don’t even flinch when downing booze, but others put on quite a little show, especially if you give them something strong.

Canadian Club Whiskey – Canadian Club. Be a Part of It.

This is one organization I wouldn’t mind paying membership dues to! Wait, am I naturally a member of this group by the simple fact that I am, in fact, Canadian. Is it part of my birth rights, similar to citizenship? I hope I don’t have to get my lawyers involved, although Mrs. Sip in business attire sends me into frenzied fits!

Jack Daniel’s Whiskey – Whiskey Made as Our Fathers Made It

Jack Daniel’s is very big on their legacy and traditions and why shouldn’t they be? Just because Jack Daniel himself died from an infection caused by kicking his own safe after forgetting the combination to unlock it doesn’t mean their history shouldn’t be cherished. In fact, we could all learn a lesson from this: inanimate objects can kill.

Drink #324: Full Moon Lemonade

1 oz Moonshine (I used Apple Pie)
1 oz Limoncello
Splash of Lemon Juice
Splash of Lemonade
Garnish with Lemon Slices

If you had your own whiskey brand, what would you call it and what would your slogan be? Interesting questions to ponder, am I right? My product would be aptly titled Sip Advisor Spirit, with the jingle: “One day you’ll be an advisor, too!”

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The recipe calls for using a pinch of Sugar, but I’m not a huge fan of adding the white stuff to cocktail and instead opted for a splash of Lemonade to sweeten the mix and also heighten the lemon flavour. Using the Apple Moonshine with the Limoncello was a great partnership for this all around delicious drink.

November 19 – John Collins

Posted on November 19, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Whiskey Business

That has to be one of the more clever headlines I’ve ever come up with (thanks, Tom Cruise)! Today, we explore advertising in the whiskey world and we don’t even have to be like the tools on Mad Men. Well, on with the show!

Whiskey is definitely not a “training wheel” liquor. It’s for the stallions of this world and I’m thrilled to be among their leaders. The child in me always has a brief giggle over the company name Knob Creek. I’m sorry, but it’s just funny.

This series of Jim Beam ads further exemplifies that bourbon products are not for the tame of heart. I had to post all four of these ads, as they’re all pretty smart. I must point out that I appreciate each of the drinks that have been slammed in these photos, particularly the Mojito, which I love. That said, they must take their place in line in the pecking order.

Clever use of word play by our friends at Jack Daniel’s. I’m on the fence about regular JD, but I love their honey whiskey varietal. I think Jack Daniel’s has a wonderful legacy in the liquor world and it’s well-earned. Jack Daniel is one dude I would have loved to share a drink with and we’d have some great laughs over his impending ironic death, which could have been prevented by his own product!

All you little sippers know of my affinity for Fireball Whiskey. I bring that shizzle everywhere and made it an inaugural class member of The Sip Advisor Hall of Fame. It’s hard to explain where my fire comes from. As far as I know, it’s always been there. It’s an inherent part of my awesomeness and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

There’s nothing like firing a shot at your competitors, straight across the bow, while also highlighting your offering to the world! And what better company to do so than Bulleit Bourbon. While I can’t say that I’ve ever owned a bottle of this brand, I have enjoyed the alcohol in a number of cocktails while travelling throughout the United States.

I’m a huge Crown Royal supporter, also nominating this liquor to The Sip Advisor Hall of Fame. If I was presented with the opportunity to make three wishes, one would certainly be to have unlimited liquor, while the other two would probably be a bottomless bag of potato chips and a forever un-clothable Mrs. Sip!

Drink #323: John Collins

1.5 oz Whiskey (I used Crown Royal)
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Lemon and Lime Wedges

What’s your favourite whiskey ad? If it’s one I haven’t presented here, you’ll gain bonus points on your Sip Advisor rewards card!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I like drinks from the Collins family. They’re easy to make and fun to drink. This entry was no different. While the Tom Collins(gin-based) is the patriarch of this brood, I’d place the John Collins in the uncle spot on the family tree. It’s earned a decent ranking and some respect from all us sippers!

November 18 – Three Wise Men

Posted on November 18, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

So Many Options

All you little sippers already know that I’m an ardent fan of the flavour revolution (it’s perhaps even greater than The Beatles ‘Revolution’, although Pa Sip may disagree) and its touch on whiskey is no different. Here are some of the wonderful whiskey options out there, some of which I’ve personally enjoyed and others I’m desperate to track down!

Honey Whiskey

Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey narrowly missed having itself called into The Sip Advisor Hall of Fame for this year’s inaugural class and it will likely find itself at the top of the ballot in 2014. I haven’t yet tried the Wild Turkey American Honey or Paddy Irish Whiskey Bee Sting (among others), but I’d assume they are also great liquors.

Ole Smoky Moonshine

Moonshine is a whiskey variant and this company has some great products available nationwide. These include Apple Pie (which I own and it tasted spectacular in my Old Fashioned recipe), Peach, and Blackberry. They also have (available only at their Gatlinburg Distillery and Store) Blueberry, Grape, Hunch Punch, Lemon Drop, Pink Lemonade, and Strawberry flavours.

Maple Whiskey

Whiskey with a maple finish… how truly Canadian! Crown Royal puts out this alcohol (just learned Jim Beam has a Maple Whiskey, too) and I’ve enjoyed it on a number of occasions, thanks to Ma and Pa Sip picking up a bottle. In particular, I used it in my cul de sac famous, original recipe martini, the Maple Donut. It was a hit with all in attendance and earned me Drink of the Year honours in my own head.

Apple Spiced Whiskey

The aforementioned Paddy Irish Whiskey has also released a product called Devil’s Apple, which sounds like a lot of fun. I like how whiskey is largely associated with the devil (Jim Beam also has their Devil’s Cut line) and that manufacturers have worked diligently to make it a badass product… even with flavoured entries.

Pumpkin Spiced Whiskey

I’m not the biggest fan of pumpkin flavouring… that’s not to say I despise that taste, but I just prefer others ahead of it. That said, I wouldn’t mind giving this Spicebox product a shot (literally!). At the Liquor Store closest to Ma and Pa Sip, the Pumpkin Spiced offering is prominently displayed and is one of the first things I see every time I enter. Now that’s temptation!

Vanilla Spiced Whiskey – Wiser’s

The fine folks at Wiser’s have released a Vanilla Spiced flavour that is quite enjoyable. I picked up a bottle shortly after it was launched and it didn’t last very long, but I did manage to get it into a few recipes at the very start of this project, like the Spiced Sour.

Southern Comfort

While Southern Comfort is itself a whiskey variation (mixing fruit, spice and whiskey flavours), the brand has also released some intriguing options, including Cherry, Pepper and Lime. I have yet to try any of these adaptations, but I hope to do so in the near future, as I am a fan of the original Southern Comfort.

Black Velvet

This Canadian whiskey company has recently delved into the flavour game, releasing Toasted Caramel and Cinnamon Rush varietals. While I’d find it hard to substitute another product for my beloved Fireball Whiskey, I think the idea of Toasted Caramel sounds spectacular. You could even drizzle it on your ice cream for a drunken sundae!

Jim Beam Red Stag

The Jim Beam Red Stag series features products like Black Cherry Bourbon, Honey Tea Bourbon, Spiced Bourbon, and the brand new Hardcore Cider. While I’ve only tried the Black Cherry, among them, I am curious to try the other options. Black Cherry has quickly become a go-to spirit for me and tastes especially good in a Manhattan.

Cinnamon Whiskey

Speaking of Fireball, you better believe this was going to make the list. I have shared my love of this cinnamon whiskey time and again with you little sippers. I won’t bore you with the details of my passionate Fireball affair again… suffice to say I believe it to be the nectar of the gods!

Chicken Cock Whiskey

No, that doesn’t mean whiskey that tastes like chicken cock, but the Chicken Cock Whiskey company does have some very interesting flavours: Southern Spiced, Root Beer, and Cinnamon. I’m particularly interested in the Root Beer Whiskey, having been a fan of root beer soda since I was a little sipper, myself. In fact, it’s the first pop I ever loved.

Drink #322: Three Wise Men

1 oz Johnnie Walker Scotch
1 oz Jack Daniel’s Whiskey
1 oz Jim Beam Bourbon
Garnish with an Orange Wedge

Are there any whiskey flavours out there I neglected to mention? Please, pass them along to me. I’m always looking for my next liquor conquest!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Speaking of flavours, I used my Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey and Jim Beam Black Cherry Bourbon to make this cocktail truly interesting. While strong, the drink was quite enjoyable and not so overwhelming you just wanted to get through the glass. It has to be noted that this cocktail has a number of interesting variations, including the Christmas Wiseman (Jagermeister, Peppermint Schnapps and Cinnamon Schnapps) and the Three Men and a Baby, which adds milk to the original recipe.

November 17 – Southern Hospitali-tea

Posted on November 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Whiskey, Bourbon, Scotch, Rye

Today marks the beginning of Whiskey Week at the Sip Advisor and while we will look quite closely at the Tennessee favourite, we will also examine all of the liquor’s familial members: Bourbon, Scotch, and Rye.

Drink #321: Southern Hospitali-tea

1.5 oz Jack Daniel’s Whiskey
Top with Iced Tea
Splash of Lemonade
Garnish with Lemon Wedges

So, how was school today? Not settle yourself on the couch for cookies and milk and afternoon cartoons… ah, those were the days!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
With a pretty simple recipe, you know full well what you’re getting into and in this case, that’s a good drink. The JD Honey Whiskey was a nice touch and worked well with the Iced Tea. I made sure to toss a fair bit of Lemon Wedges in the cocktail for added flavour. A nice addition would have been some Lemonade.

November 15 – The Soprano

Posted on November 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Turn Down Service

For some actors, taking a TV role when you’re considered a movie star is a step down. That just provides an opportunity for another talent to step in, knock the performance out of the park and end up doing better in the long run than the one who originally turned his nose up at the project. Here are some examples of folks who passed up on TV glory (for whatever reason):

Ray Liotta as Tony Soprano (The Sopranos)

Ray Liotta, star of movies like Goodfellas, turned down the landmark role because he wanted to focus on movies. In the time he could have been playing the mobster, Liotta made numerous films, but nothing particularly memorable. Of course James Gandolfini took the role and ran with it… straight to three Emmy’s, which launched his own chance to enter the movie world before his untimely death earlier this year.

Tom Selleck as Mitch Buchannon (Baywatch)

Tom Selleck turned down the head lifeguard role, as he didn’t want to be a sex symbol… to which I’ve always said, “too late, Mr. Magnum!” Selleck’s role refusal did give David Hasselhoff and his German minions another chance to rejoice and without it, Hasselhoff’s infamous downward spiral might have gone unnoticed. Seriously, though, who hasn’t tried to eat a floor cheeseburger in a drunken stupor!?

Michael Richards as Adrian Monk (Monk)

Fresh off his stint as crazy neighbor Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld, Michael Richards was offered the role of obsessive compulsive disorder suffering detective Adrian Monk, but he wasn’t interested in the role. ABC let the show slip away to the USA Network, which cast Tony Shalhoub , who played the intricately troubled ex-cop perfectly. Richards instead went on a racial slur-laced rant at a comedy club and would probably pay for work now.

Craig T. Nelson as Jay Pritchett (Modern Family)

Craig T. Nelson hasn’t evaded the question of why he turned down a role on the wildly popular Modern Family. He is quoted as saying the money just wasn’t good enough. The former Coach star did go on to snag up the next patriarchal role to come his way on Parenthood, leaving the living legend, Al Bundy himself, Ed O’Neill to step in a lead the 21st century family… as well as cuddle up to Sofia Vergara!

Dana Delaney as Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

Ms. Delaney passed on the iconic role because she didn’t want to be in a show about sex… then why audition for a show called SEX and the City!? And really, what show doesn’t have some element of sex in it. Hell, even Sesame Street has toyed with the idea of Bert and Ernie being romantically involved! Sarah Jessica Parker took the part and became a cosmopolitan swigging female hero. Honestly, I don’t even know who Delaney is…

Thomas Jane as Don Draper (Mad Men)

I’ve already professed my hatred for Mad Men and apparently Thomas Jane, The Punisher, agrees with me! He didn’t think an intellectual show on a channel (AMC) known for movie reruns would work. You win some, you lose some. Jon Hamm stepped in and gets to drink tons of whiskey, while being lauded for an incredibly awful show. Some guys have all the luck.

Michael Keaton as Jack Shepard (Lost)

I’ve never watched Lost, but Ma and Pa Sip were die-hard fans. Apparently the character of Jack was supposed to not live past the pilot episode. When writers changed their plans, the former Batman backed out, thus avoiding the most confusing plot in television history and likely countless headaches from trying to get an understanding of what was going on!

Drink #319: The Soprano

1.5 oz Bourbon
1.5 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with an Orange Wheel

Well, that wraps up our look at those that have turned down TV roles. I myself have turned down a couple characters in my childhood acting days: Bud Bundy on Married with Children; Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell, and Alf on, well Alf. Think of the money I’ve missed out on…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Early this year, I made The Godfather cocktail. This is the Americanized version of said drink, with the use of Bourbon and Southern Comfort. I liked the recipe, but those who aren’t fans of strong, liquor-heavy beverages might want to avoid it. It wasn’t overly heavy, but it was pretty potent.

November 13 – Warp Pipe

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Game Genie

Today we continue our look into the Sip Advisor’s favourite vidya games. This isn’t an article about the greatest games of all-time, just my top picks from childhood to adulthood, where that inner-child just never really went away. I’m not a massive video game guy, but I’ve always played this or that along the way!

Super Mario Bros.

This is one of the games that really boosted the video game industry and made Nintendo a household name. I’d say my favourite Mario game was Super Mario World (SNES), but I have also enjoyed all the original NES titles, as well as releases for Gameboy, N64, and Wii. The Wii version was great because you could play along with your friends all at the same time, although it usually ended up with us “accidentally” killing each other. One thing is certain: the games were far superior to the ill-advised movie!

Wrestling Games

As I’ve admitted before, I was a huge wrestling fan in my pre-teen and teenage years. Some of the best wrestling classics came out during this period, especially the games made by THQ in the late 90’s/early 2000’s. The company had the WCW license first and then switched over to WWE, putting out one amazing offering after another. My friends and I spent countless hours fighting our issues out in battle royals. The best part was, if you were eliminated, you had another chance with the next entering character.

GoldenEye 007

Similar to the wrestling games, thousands of hours were wasted maiming each other in this N64 classic. Even those who weren’t gamers in the slightest knew about GoldenEye and had probably played at some point. While the single player missions were spectacular, the multiplayer killfests were even better. Our group would play where any damage killed you and would alternate between remote mines and rocket launchers being the feature weapon.

Plants vs. Zombies

While I’m not the biggest fan of tower defense games, this entry, which has you defending your home against an invading horde of zombies, using plants with their own special powers is a total delight. A sequel has been released, but as of yet, it’s only available to losers with iPhones (sorry, I’m a little bitter it’s not available on computers like the original or even for Android users… that misses a lot of the market). I’m sure it will eventually be in my possession, but the waiting is the hardest part (thanks, Tom Petty!).

Donkey Kong Country

Oh man, I love these games so much, particularly the Super Nintendo trilogy. The re-launch of the series on the Wii was also a spectacular offering for the eyes and the ears (the fingers not so much, as they had to do all the work!). The thing that’s so amazing about these games is that they’re so visually beautiful with rich colours and the music is fantastic. Combine that with smooth gameplay and wonderful level layouts and this is one of the best 2-D side-scrollers to ever exist.

Rollercoaster Tycoon

I love amusement parks and all the rides they contain. Therefore, when these games were released, I was an early adopter. It was so much fun to build your own parks and achieve whatever tasks were outlined. I didn’t play around too much with rollercoaster design except to launch unsuspecting riders off of a dangerously built ride and send them flying through the air to a fiery death!

Tetris

There’s just something about Tetris that is so addicting. I especially enjoyed the N64 edition (The New Tetris), which Broski Sip, Cousin Sip, and I used to play a lot, challenging each other to see who could last the longest without dying. The more lines you made, the faster you were able to build the world’s greatest landmarks. Much like Donkey Kong Country, the music in this franchise has always been top notch and keeps you wanting to play the game.

Drink #317: Warp Pipe

0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
Top with Mike’s Hard Limeade
Garnish with Lime Wedges

That wraps up our look at my favourite video games of all-time. What are some of your favourite electronic pastimes? Perhaps you’ll steer me towards a new addiction, you pusher!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Once again, we go to The Drunken Moogle for this recipe, as they seem to have the market cornered on awesome video game-themed drinks. I used the split-sized glasses to help accentuate that image of the pipes in Super Mario Bros. This backfired on me a little when I went to split them up for Mrs. Sip and myself and she decided to nap instead, leaving me with two cocktails to down. Luckily, they were pretty light and tasty and I enjoyed the double treat!

November 10 – Movember Rain

Posted on November 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

‘Stache Central

In honour of all the dudes out there that are growing mustaches that make their partners less attracted to them, all in the name of raising awareness for men’s health, particularly prostate and testicular cancer, here’s a look at some of the greatest whiskers in the media world!

Magnum PI – Tom Selleck is so associated with his trademark facial hair that the network wouldn’t allow him to get rid of it for his role on Blue Bloods. Can you believe Selleck turned down the role of Mitch Buchannon (later went to David Hasselhoff) on Baywatch because he didn’t want to be a sex symbol… uh, hey Tom, too late, buddy!

Hulk Hogan – Hogan’s Fu-Manchu plays a vital role in his image as a do-gooder and leader of Hulkamaniacs everywhere. So much so, that when he finally became a bad guy and leader of the reprehensible New World Order, a dirty black beard was added to show he had fully embraced the dark side.

Ned Flanders – Everyone’s favoruite religious zealot has had many storylines center around his nose neighbour. Usually when Ned is forced to shave the facial hair, good things come his way. Surprisingly, when he refused to rid his upper lip of fur, the omnibenevolent one was labeled and rebel and troublemaker.

Yosemite Sam – Sam has such a wicked moustache that it actually encompasses his entire face, including around his eyes. Sam is a mentor of mine, as just like him, I am prone to obscenity-laced tirades when I’ve been outsmarted by a no-good varmint.

Captain Hook – Whether the cartoon character or the live action depiction by Dustin Hoffman, Captain Hook’s trademark cookie-duster is comical and to be feared all at the same time. If you were in his position, wouldn’t you also grow a mustache and do anything else to distract from the hooked hand!?

Snidely Whiplash/Boris Badenov/Dick Dastardly – It seems that back in the day, you couldn’t be an animated villain without sporting some sort of soup strainer. These are some of the most despicable dudes to ever exist and they evilness was only accentuated by their lower brow.

Ron Swanson – The man’s man of the Parks and Rec crew just wouldn’t carry the same respect if he was sans mustache. He is such an aficionado that he’s gone on to teach others how to grow a great mustache and NBC even has t-shirts with Swanson’s likeness available in their shop.

Mario, Luigi, Wario & Wailuigi – These four guys have a yearly competition to see who has the best lady tickler. My vote goes to Wario and his lightning bolt-esque flavour saver!

Machete – What would an anarchist assassin be without a badass ‘stache!? For Machete, the facial fur is all part of the look meant to strike fear in the hearts of those he is paid to dispose of.

Cleveland Brown – In flashbacks, it’s revealed that Cleveland has had a rockin’ ‘stache since his teenage years and when his son shaves it off in an act of revenge, we learn why. Apparently Brown’s voice is created thanks to the hairs and without the mustache, it sounds squeaky and pathetic.

Inspector Clouseau – Clouseau’s mustache was based off of fellow fictional investigator Hercule Poirot, but I’ll take the funny man over the more serious detective any day… providing it’s the Peter Sellers version and not the Steve Martin one.

Borat – I just can’t imagine Borat without his goofy lip foliage. The Kazakhstan journalist has been an inspiration to me and millions around the world, showing us all what lengths we should go to in order to get a story done.

Ron Burgundy – What would a 1970’s newsman be without an epic crumb catcher? In fact, some posters for the upcoming Anchorman sequel prominently focus on the icon’s mustache and that’s all you really need to know before going into the theatre!

J. Jonah Jameson – The Spiderman hater sports a push broom similar to one Adolf Hitler… could there be a connection there? I’m sure Spiderman and all his employees would think so.

Evil Abed/Evil Cartman/Evil Spock – For some reason, a character can be turned “evil” simply by adding facial hair to their usual look. I’ve experimented with this theory every Movember, by becoming a complete and total dick throughout the month!

Drink #314: Movember Rain

Muddle Berries and Mint Leaves
1 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with half Grapefruit Juice and half Pineapple Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with Mint Leaves and a Berry

Who possesses your favourite upper lip caterpillar? Unfortunately, this is one area where you won’t all be shouting my name. I just can’t seem to grow great facial hair. Good, yes… but great… not for the Sip Advisor.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
There’s a lot going on in this cocktail and I think that detracts from the overall enjoyment on the drink. When you get a focused sip of the Chambord, for example, it’s very good. On other sips, however, you get a mix of different juices and so on and it’s hard to pinpoint a taste. I’m not a fan of weird, combined, unidentifiable flavours, so it’s too bad that happens in this recipe. I tried to make the mint leaves look like a moustache… mission accomplished!

November 8 – Sweet Tweet

Posted on November 8, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Technologically Traditional

Yesterday, we looked at my favourite apps and while I’ve embraced the games and information tools available to tablet and smart phone users, there is a lot of technology I refuse to adapt to. Kicking and screaming, I’m trying to hold onto my familiar way of life. Here are some items I refuse to give up or learn.

Laptop Mouse

It may surprise some that the Sip Advisor, this internet guru you’ve come to love, still uses a mouse with his laptop. I hate that little square built into the actual computer that you’re intended to use. I find that it completely slows my progress down. I occasionally use Mrs. Sip ‘s laptop for some site work and I wish she’d regress back to a mouse so that I’m more comfortable operating her computer.

Touchscreen Keyboard

Recently, my old phone died on me and I was forced to upgrade. I had dreaded this day for some time, as I knew it meant losing my pullout keyboard. I think too many errors occur with the touch screen typing system and don’t even get me started on Mrs. Sip’s swiping texts that are littered with spelling errors and unrecognizable words. I often respond to her with a simple “?” because I have no clue what she’s writing me about. And sometimes I do it just to be a dick!

Websites (Instagram, Linked In, Foursquare)

While I’ve joined sites like Facebook, Twitter, and even Pinterest, there are numerous other social media hubs that I just can’t get into. I don’t get the rage over Instagram and the weird filters people use on their low-resolution pics, I don’t care to meet business contacts through Linked In (I mean, my contacts would just be winos and alcoholics anyway), and I don’t need to let everyone know I’m still sitting on my couch through Foursquare!

Cell Phone Photos

Speaking of low-res photos, I really don’t understand why people are relying on their cell phones to capture the greatest moments of their life. I get it that you’ve shelled out a fair amount of money for these devices and that bringing along an actual camera is another hassle to deal with, but you just can’t replace the quality of image a real camera provides. No matter how good cell phone pixel quality gets, it will never supersede the ol’ digital camera.

Ear Buds

Am I the only person in the world who absolutely despises these sound delivery devices? Everywhere I look, people have ear buds jammed into their head. That’s not to say I don’t like listening to music, but I prefer to have an actually set of headphones and not something that constantly feels like it’s going to fall out of the snugness of my earlobe. Perhaps my ears are made to the specifications desired for bud usage, but I hate those little things.

Tablets

I have nothing against tablets and I think they are actually pretty neat with the big screen and all the functions they can provide. That said, between my laptop and phone, I have no intention of ever purchasing one. Donations will be accepted (they always are!) at the Sip Advisor headquarters, however. If anyone is tired of their iPad, Tab, Surface, or Nexus, you know who to ship it to.

E-Reader

I barely read enough print books to justify having eyes and a brain, let alone an e-reader. Mrs. Sip spends countless hours on her digital book, which infuriates me to near madness. No, I don’t see the Sip Advisor picking up a Nook, Kindle, or Kobo anytime soon; unless it becomes the only way for little sippers to read my awesome work… then I’ll practically become the face of the industry!

Video Game Systems

I’ve said it before and I’ll probably have to say it again: I will not buy another video game console. After the Nintendo 64, I held out for years without buying a system until finally caving an buying a Playstation 2 near the dying days of the console. Then I said it again before becoming enamored with the Nintendo Wii, again in its later years of existence. Clearly, I’m not an early adopted and I may own all of these products right before they become useless!

Drink #312: Sweet Tweet

1 oz Rum
0.5 oz Galliano
0.5 oz Peach Liqueur
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Cherry Syrup
Garnish with Lime Wheel

Which items do you refuse to purchase and accept as the way things are done today? Am I the only one who refuses to give up the Discman, Sega Genesis, and MySpace!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I “borrowed” this recipe from a photographed menu from the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in New York, which also offers guests the Garden of Google, Brbon Tumblr, and… the SipAdvisor. Hey, wait, hold on a second. Should I be asking for royalties? Perhaps a cease and desist order? I’ll have to contemplate my legal options! As for the cocktail, it wasn’t bad, but it was a little too sweet. I guess that was implied in the drink’s name.

November 5 – International Incident

Posted on November 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Drink Nation

I recently stumbled upon a report about the 10 greatest drinking nations in the world. Sadly, Canada did not make that list, but neither did our neighbours to the south… or even their neighbours to the south. Here are my thoughts on those that did crack the top 10 and where I think Canadians need to improve to better our future ranking.

10. Australia

While Australia has wine and beer creations to its credit, I can’t think of any liquors they’ve introduced to the world. The article does point out that former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke made the Guinness Book of World Records for downing 2.5 pints of beer in 2.5 seconds. If that’s the effort your politicians are putting forward, I guess you deserve to be on this list.

Wow, even the roos are getting in on the act!

9. Germany

The land of Oktoberfest; the event which has largely earned them this spot on the countdown. Germany is known for their beer making, beer serving (wenches impressively carrying eight beer steins at the same time), and beer consumption. Although the Czech citizens drink more beer than the Germans, that’s still not enough to topple this suds nation.

8. Uganda

How does an African nation make this list? Does professional wrestler Kamala (the Ugandan Giant) have something to do with this, forcing the country’s way onto the list through sheer intimidation tactics? Apparently residents will gather and sit around a pot of ajono (beer-like substance) and pass a long straw around. Not sure that earns their way onto this list.

7. South Korea

All this despite South Korea’s strict social guidelines. Apparently, it’s common practice in the country to get plastered on mixes of beer and whiskey and let loose, getting out all of your pent-up anger and frustration. So, basically what every drinker in the world does when they’re a few wobbly pops deep into the night!

6. Moldova

According to the World Health Organization, Moldova is the most liquored up nation in the world. Stats say that per person, each resident drinks 18 litres of alcohol in a year. Does that include children? The former Soviet nation’s favourite hangover cure is pickle juice and I’m down with that. Perhaps we could share some Moldovian fruit brandies, followed by pickles for breakfast!

5. Ecuador

The local liquor in Ecuador, Zhumir, is affectionately known as “hangover in a bottle”… that’s a challenge the Sip Advisor would like to take, given my invincibility towards the morning after suffering. Etiquette in the country dictates that you cannot start drinking until someone has made a toast, so if you’re all alone, make sure there’s a mirror in your room to cheers yourself.

4. France

Home to the Champagne region and too-many-to-count wineries. Apparently the people of France turn their nose up to selling liquor from other countries. That’s not really surprising, but it means they’re really missing out, especially with Belgian beers, Spanish sangria and English gin offerings so close to their borders.

What does this have to do with drinking? Nothing, but I’m posting it anyway! Suck it, France!

3. Russia

Russians drink vodka at all times of the day. It’s just their way of life. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime snack… no time of day is enjoyed sans vodka. Russia is the all-important buckle of the Vodka Belt. I’m totally down with people that don’t drink in normal conventions. We’d get along real well.

2. China

Sadly, this site has never received a viewer from the massive country of China. Thanks to the nation’s censorship laws, citizens often have to tether on to other countries internet signals to access non-governmental approved sites. I guess the more citizens you have (and China of course has tons) the more liquor you need to keep the population docile and happy and therefore your portfolio in the alcohol world grows.

1. United Kingdom

While I’ve always had a good time drinking in the U.K., I’m not sure I agree with the country taking the top spot on this list. That said, the country is lined with bars that are often packed to the brim with people looking to get boozed up. They can also be credited with much of the world’s gin production and for that, we thank them. Party on Brits!

Drink #309: International Incident

0.5 oz Irish Crème
0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Coffee Liqueur
0.5 oz Macadamia Nut Liqueur
Splash of Milk
Garnish with Macadamia Nuts

If the fine folks in Mexico can’t even crack the list, despite their IP on tequila production, then us schlubs in Canada shouldn’t feel so bad. I also question nations like Ireland (although I guess it’s kind of part of the U.K.) and Belgium not cracking the top 10. I want answers, dammit!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This recipe is intended to be a shot, but I increased the ingredient increments and turned it into a nightcap cocktail. The drink gave me my first chance to use our Macadamia Nut Liqueur, which I subbed for the originally scheduled Hazelnut Liqueur and it tasted great. A highlight of the cocktail was the hint of salt you got with each sip, thanks to the Macadamia Nuts garnish!

Sip Advisor

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Category Archives: Crazy & Classic Cocktails