December 15 – The Mistletoe

All I Want for Christmas

As I researched my post on the worst Christmas albums, I came across a ton of horrible cover art that just has to be shared with all you little sippers. Prepare to be horrified and delighted all at the same time!

Rudy Ray Moore – This Ain’t No White Christmas

This Ain't No White Christmas

Horrible cover, but absolutely amazing idea! I need to get Mrs. Sip on board with Rudy Ray Moore’s idea of holiday attire. Who exactly is Rudy Ray Moore, you might be asking? Well, my little sippers, Mr. Moore is the legendary Dolemite, one of the most famous blaxploitation characters. This Ain’t No White Christmas is one of Moore’s comedy releases and features a two-part ‘The Night Before Christmas’.

Lenny Dee – Happy Holi-dee

happy-holi-dee

He didn’t even bother to put on the friggin’ Santa beard! Or, perhaps, the dogs he’s holding yanked it off and he said, “You know what, fuck it! Take the damn picture and let’s get out of here.” Dee’s Wikipedia page says that he was a virtuoso organist… Mrs. Sip would say the same about me! Happy Holi-dee isn’t Dee’s only release to incorporate his last name. He also had Dee-Lightful, Dee-Lirious, Dee-Licious, Dee-Frosting, and many more.

Thore Skogmans Julskiva – Klappa Pa!

Klappa Pa

Here’s all the meat I’ll be sexually gratifying you with… what’s that? You aren’t into meat loving? Oh, I guess I’m alone in that regard. Perhaps I’m being too hard on Thore here. He just looks like a happy-go-lucky dude who really enjoys meat and Christmas feasts. Klappa Pa sounds like something you’d hear at a German beer hall and that’s all well and good, but it’s certainly not something I’d want to get my stein on to.

William Hung – Hung for the Holidays

Hung for the Holidays

They made William Hung look like the worst South Park character ever… not that that was a really hard task. This whole idea was thrown together so quickly trying to capitalize on Hung’s 15 minutes of fame. The cover art for Hung for the Holidays might actually make the tracks on the album seem better. I hope nobody has to spend Christmas with William Hung because you know he’d be trying to share this drivel with any unfortunate guests.

Slim Whitman – Christmas with Slim Whitman

Christmas with Slim Whitman

His eyes say “you’ll be safe with me”, but his smile says “I will rape you”. And what a freakin’ awesome name! Seriously, this name would mean instant respect in any professional world, from journalism to porn. Whitman reminds me of Dan Aykroyd’s Saturday Night Live character Fred Garvin, male prostitute. To be fair, Christmas with Slim Whitman shows us not to judge a book by it’s cover, as Whitman’s voice doesn’t match the sex offender image he presents.

Drink #349: The Mistletoe

The Mistletoe Drink Recipe

After checking out this list, you’d probably agree with me that it’s a good thing cover art for music releases is largely a thing of the past thanks to the death of the album, tape, and CD.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail was pretty refreshing and I’ve always liked how Grey Goose Cherry Noir and Sweet & Sour Mix work together. The Club Soda gave the drink a nice level of fizz, while not distracting from the taste of any of the other ingredients. I also really like my simple but effective garnishing of the cocktail.

May 30 – Root Beer Fizz

Thanks for the Meme-ories

Today marks post #150 of this blog, which has now surpassed Wikipedia as the most reliable source on the Internet. To celebrate, I present to you, my loyal and faithful little sippers, a smattering of memes to enjoy!

alcohol_kills_and_creates

I’m not too sure who this old dude is, but he looks pretty dapper and his message is bang on. On second glance, he looks a little shitfaced and maybe leaning on the bar to hold himself up. I think alcohol has a passing record when you add up the births minus the deaths and divide by awesomeness!

Beer Over Milk

I can only half agree with this message. Partly because I believe alcohol AND milk can solve problems. How many times have you been hanging out with your posse and decisions have been made or fences mended thanks to a little liquid libation? And how many times has a serving of cookies and milk helped you solve all of life’s little problems? Both substances are invaluable, in my honest opinion.

Baby Drunk

This little trooper is a Sip Advisor in training. Like a Jedi, he must go through tremendous sacrifice in order to harness the power of the force. It’s pretty funny that the beer is bigger than the kid and I love the thought of putting a young one through a sobriety test.

One Glass

That is one massive beer! And lucky for this young chap, it’s a Hoegaarden, one of the finest brews in the world. That guy doesn’t even look of legal age though. Not that I’m condemning him (I started my Sip Advisor conditioning at an unheard of age because I was a “chosen one”). Imagine if doctors could prescribe ginormous alcohol servings and then you’d go to your local pharmacy to get your prescription filled… only in a perfect world!

ipad-vodka

This chick seems a little scattered, but it’s probably because she’s out of that aforementioned vodka. It’s sad that future generations won’t even know what an etch-a-sketch was or many of the other amazing devices we grew up with. Nowadays a kid turns four and they get a tablet device or cell phone loaded with enough content to babysit them for years. So much for imagination, which will one day be the world’s most scarce commodity.

technically_alcohol_is_a_solution

A cat wearing a bow tie with glasses… how many scratches do you think that owner received in order to snap this awesome photo!? I bet they lost half their blood volume, but it was totally worth it. A scary thought just crossed my mind, however, what if this feline dressed himself and actually possess the intelligence to be a scientific wizard? If cats ever rise up against their human suppressors, I guess we’re still safe given that they sleep 20 hours a day and we can counter attack them while they’re napping.

Drink #136: Root Beer Fizz

Rootbeer Fizz Cocktail

  • 1.5 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
  • Top with Root Beer
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Garnish with Lemon Slices

Sip Advisor Bar Notes: (5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was delicious. I don’t know if that comes from its relatively simple recipe or the fact that Root Beer rules, but either way, I thoroughly enjoyed this cocktail. It gets my full, 100% recommendation.