December 22 – The North Pole

Sweater Shop

In recent years, ugly Christmas sweaters have become more of a popular theme for holiday parties. Some offices will even host an annual competition with employees showing off their hard-on-the-eyes winter warmers. Here are some of the funniest entries I was able to locate!

Operation Red Nose

This gives a whole new meaning to Operation Red Nose! It takes a lot of balls (or in this case ovaries) to wear an outfit likes this. It’s not so much that the top is ugly… just bizarre. I bet that nose becomes quite the target at any party she goes to and I pray she never chooses this wardrobe for going to the clubs… guys on the dance floor are big enough losers without falling all over themselves for stuff like this.

Joy to the World

If this is what they meant, I don’t want to wish joy to the world! This guy looks incredibly uncomfortable and I’m not sure if that’s because of the sweater or his weight. Perhaps he hasn’t left that couch for ages and he’s still dawning this sweater despite the photo being taken in mid summer. Quit staring and make him some fried chicken.

Frosty's Nose

I feel bad for women. When they are depicted as being droopy, it means saggy breasts… but when a dude is just as droopy, it means a massively large member. This guy’s sweater could be misinterpreted as Frosty throwing up in the middle of a keg stand. If these two get close together does that put the sweater snowmen in a compromising 69 position?

Santa's Elves

It’s never a good idea to put your face on a shirt… let alone an ugly Christmas sweater. How are either of these octogenarians supposed to cheat on their spouse when they’re wearing each other’s faces!? I find it funny that the woman has the exact same smile in her sweater photo that she’s offering to the camera person here, too. If Mrs. Sip and I ever wear matching clothes, it’s time to consider a separation.

Sleeveless

I’m not sure I’m a fan of the sleeveless look. No wait, I’m definitely not a fan of the sleeveless look. It’s not very functional either, as the moment you step outside into the frigid air, you’re going to be pretty damn cold! Sure, this guy has a lot of beef on him to help keep him warm, but I just don’t think it would be enough and perhaps that’s all for the best.

Drink #356: The North Pole

The North Pole Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Grey Goose Cherry Noir
  • 0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
  • Top with Milk
  • Squirt of Chocolate Syrup
  • Garnish with a Candy Cane

Always looking for a good laugh, I appreciate all these folk’s self-deprecating efforts. If you know of some even uglier Christmas sweaters, send them the Sip Advisor’s way and give me a good chuckle!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
My version of the cocktail didn’t turn out as dark as others I have seen online (I should have used a little more Chocolate Syrup), but it tasted decent and really, that’s the most important element of a cocktail. I’ve really enjoyed using all these Candy Canes in the various cocktails presented through the 25 Days of Christmas.

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December 16 – Christmas Blizzard

We Wish You a Meme-y Christmas

Today marks the 350th drink the Sip Advisor has presented on this site and as it has been with every 50-mark, I present to you some of the funny memes I’ve found on the internet. Given it’s Christmas, it will have a decidedly yuletide theme!

Cat Christmas Party

Office Christmas parties are a weird beast. For most, it’s the one time of the year when you see your co-workers a little lit up and acting in ways they wouldn’t around the office. It seems this little kitty got a little cray cray and wound up passing out on the floor. I’ve been there! Thankfully, I’ve never been “that guy” or “that girl” who takes things to the extreme and ends up with a lampshade on their head… or even worse.

White Christmas

I’m pretty sure most female members of the Sip Family follow this line of thinking. I enjoy snow at Christmas, although given I live in a part of the world where we don’t see much of the white stuff, our beautiful city completes shuts down with even a light dusting. Plus, most of the population is not prepared for snow and can’t drive very well in the best of conditions. I think I’d rather stick to the wines than the snow.

Santa Judges

Now that’s a job everyone would be envious of. I work 365 days a year and my only solace is that I also get to judge all of you! I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy, however, and I appreciate any judgments that come my way. Ol’ Santy Claus here doesn’t like us taking pot shots at him… like calling him fat… or lazy… or a bad employer. He’s watching me right now (who wouldn’t!?), so I guess I’m not getting anything but a lump of coal for Christmas.

Cat Song

I’m surprised the kitty isn’t interested in the 8 Maids Milking so it has some drink to wash down all those birdies! I wish I could get a costume like this on one of Ma and Pa Sip’s cats. Problem is I’d shed more blood than a Dexter kill room sees and the outfit still wouldn’t be on the animal. I do agree with the fluff ball above that no one really needs pears (aka the forgotten for a reason fruit).

some-batteries

Now what could she be using those batteries for? Wait, I know! Her TV controller must be out. The obvious answer is always sitting there right in front of you. You know, in these times, when I’m not very hopeful for the generations that are coming after mine, I find it refreshing that this youngster, regardless of his motives, is thinking of his mother’s enjoyment and passing that along to Santa, who will surely fill her stocking with goodies!

Drink #350: Christmas Blizzard

Christmas Blizzard Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Malibu Rum
  • Top with Cream Soda
  • Garnish with Coconut Shavings

Feel free to send any funny Christmas memes my way. It’s a busy time of the year, but that’s makes it especially important to take a step back and enjoy all the little things out there!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail is a little plain in taste. The Malibu Rum isn’t very noticeable. It’s still an above average drink, though, with Cream Soda being a pretty enjoyable mixer.