About Daniel Wilson

I love making drinks for my friends and family, and, of course, sampling my concoctions myself! Finding and playing around with recipes is a favourite past time of mine and I hope to share that passion with all my readers.

November 4 – Cajun Kiss

Posted on November 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tender Loving Care

Everybody has their own way of expressing love towards family and friends. I’m prone to copying cats and bashing my head against people to let them know of my affection! Here are some other examples of how to share your adoration:

Hongi

When Maori people greet each other (or even non-Maori folk), they lovingly touch their noses and foreheads together in a momentary embrace. If exchanged with an outsider, that person is no longer considered a visitor to the tribe. This action means that individual could be required to assist with tribal needs and that can include anything from tending to crops to even helping the tribe during times of war. Mrs. Sip and I have received this rite of passage and I will come to the defense of the Maori, if I am ever summoned.

Butterfly Kiss

This is the act of fluttering your eyelashes together with your lover, much like a butterflies wings flap. I’ve been led to believe that this type of kiss can be quite romantic, as two lovers stare longingly into each other’s eyes. I’m not a fan of getting eyelashes into my own peepers, so I certainly don’t want to welcome other’s lashes in, either. That said, Mrs. Sip has some tempting, lovely eyes, so perhaps I’ll have to get over my own fears.

Eskimo Kiss

The Inuit are known to rub their nose against a loved one’s faces when greeting one another in an act known as a kunik. A kunik can be done against a family member or friend’s nose, cheek or forehead. It is a misconception to think the Inuit perform this act so they don’t freeze together while sharing a kiss. It is actually done because the people often only have their nose and eyes exposed when outdoors, where they may come across someone they have to greet.

French Kiss

Most people know about the French kiss (the act of locking tongues with your lover in an open mouth embrace), but they don’t know how the term came about. Look no further, as the Sip Advisor has all the answers. Apparently it comes from the French having a reputation for engaging in more sexually adventurous practices and that includes the act of “the lover’s kiss”. You have to imagine that someone would have discovered this kissing variance eventually, though.

Spiderman Kiss

The smooch made famous by Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst (or at least their stunt/body doubles). Every time I’ve put myself upside down (and trust me, it happens much more often than Mrs. Sip would ever like) I don’t receive any sugar in response. I thought women got all hot and bothered by that scene in Spiderman. Why do I get such disdain when I’m hanging upside down from ziplines, diving boards, and other inanimate objects?

Hickey/Vampire Kiss

Halloween just passed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t break someone’s skin every now and again with a perfectly planted artery attack! When Mrs. Sip and I were just young teenagers in love (or was it lust), we didn’t do the hickey thing much. Anytime it did happen, we were teased so much by our family and friends that we decided to abandon the neck kissing arts. Nowadays, I think Mrs. Sip sometimes tries to get me marked just to embarrass me… that no-good, sexy she-devil!

Drink #308: Cajun Kiss (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

1 oz Cajun Spiced Rum
0.5 oz Midori
0.5 oz Gin
Top with Apple-Lime Juice
Garnish with Lime Wheel

Have I missed your favourite style of kissing? Just remember to keep it clean. You never know how many fucking kids read this site!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This was a very good drink, which we created while experimenting with our new Cajun Spiced Rum. I largely created the recipe, but Mrs. Sip suggested the addition of the Gin and it was the touch that completed the cocktail. The Apple-Lime Juice was its usual spectacular contributor and has really become a go-to mixer for me.

November 3 – Dragon’s Breath

Posted on November 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Mythological Mayhem

I’m not really one for mythological beings, but if forced to pick a few favourites (as I’m being charged to do so here) these are the creatures I would pick:

Dragon

I like some movies based around dragons. How to Train Your Dragon was really good and Pete’s Dragon was a childhood treat. In each of those films, the dragons (Toothless and Elliot, respectively) were of a friendlier, loveable personality. I’m also a fan of the Eddie Murphy-voiced Mushu, but not particularly in the movie Mulan, but for the little dragon’s appearance as co-host of the Disney Animation Building’s ‘How to Draw’ attraction.

Pegasus

The winged horse that I best remember from Disney’s Hercules cartoon, where it helped our hero Herc battle the forces of James Woods (otherwise known as Hades and evil incarnate). Wrestler Chris Benoit was also known as the Pegasus Kid and Wild Pegasus early in his career, as he toured Japan, Mexico, and Europe. Back to the stallion, one myth states that Pegasus was born from the spurting blood of a decapitated Medusa. Those Greeks sure no how to spin a yarn!

Centaur/Minotaur

Sometimes I wish I was half-man and half-beast… well, even more so than when I’m on a raging bender! What’s the difference between a centaur and a minotaur? A centaur has the body of a beast and head of a man, while a minotaur is of the opposite persuasion. While some may think that it’s hard to pick from one of these designations, I’d choose centaur in a heartbeat. That way I could look as gorgeous as I do now and be able to be a high profile athlete thanks to my tremendous lower body strength.

Unicorn

The national animal of Scotland (which still cracks me up to this day), was purported to have magic qualities. It was thought that the unicorn’s horn could be ground up and used in potions to help cure the ill. During medieval and Renaissance times, the horn of the narwhal was often sold to those looking to harness the unicorn’s powers. Nowadays, the horns of rhinoceroses are sold to those looking to increase their sexual virility. To sum up: horn = good.

Griffin

This creature mixes the head and wings of an eagle with the body of a lion. Geez, can you imagine if lions could fly. Good luck keeping them pent up in a zoo, even if they do sleep away most of the day. I like big cats like lions and such because I think they possess a surliness of sorts. Anyway, getting back on track, the griffin combines an animal I love with an animal I detest, so what does one do in cases like that? I guess you just focus on the positives… go Hufflepuff!

Gremlin

While I prefer gremlins when their still in their Mogwai state and they haven’t been fed after midnight, like the uber cute Gizmo, they do serve an entertaining and often hilarious role even when they’ve crossed over to the dark side. Gremlins are often portrayed negatively, which has upset supporters of their society. They’re usually seen tampering with in-flight airplanes and disrupting other machinery. They should not be trusted, should you ever come across one.

Kraken

I like Kraken Black Spice Rum and shouting “Release the Kraken!” when we’re swimming in Ma and Pa Sip’s pool is a favourite pastime of mine, so the Kraken is a must for the list. The Kraken is usually depicted as an enormous sea monster, similar to a giant squid or octopus. It is capable of bringing down an entire ship and has been blamed for numerous tragedies at sea. These false accusations have caused the Kraken to remain hidden, deep beneath the surface and we may never know of its actual existence.

Gargoyle

The Disney cartoon, Gargoyles, is one of those extremely underrated shows that had enjoyable elements for kids and adults alike. Along with the humour of gargoyles adapting to a 20th century New York City (after being awakened from thousands of years trapped in stone) many storylines were dark, complex, and featured adult themes such as betrayal and hatred. Being a self-effacing person, I’ve adopted Moe Szyslak’s line about being a gargoyle, although I’m told I have model cheekbones!

Phoenix

While the first thing I think about when I hear the word Phoenix (aside from the Arizona town, of course) is Jean Grey’s evil character in X-Men (making her so much more interesting that plain old, boring Jean Grey), the Pheonix is another mythological bird that must be vanquished from the world. The only problem is, the Phoenix will continually rise from the ashes of its predecessor and haunt me with loud noises, poop bombs, and dive-bomb attacks.

Werewolf

There’s a great episode (aren’t they all!) of American Dad where Steve thinks he’s been turned into a werewolf, while at the same time, Roger has taken in a wolf to overcome his distress after the death of his two sea monkeys. Don’t just take it from me, go watch the episode. I’ve never really been a huge fan of werewolves and the whole Twilight franchise did nothing to help with that matter. Team “Who Gives a Fuck” was a more accurate take on the series.

Drink #307: Dragon’s Breath

Rim glass with Caesar Spice
1.5 oz Dragonberry Rum
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Hot Sauce
Garnish with a Lime Wheel

What are your favourite mythological animals? And please don’t send me any replies citing Pokemon or anything else having to do with Japanese culture like Godzilla and Mothra. Seriously, those people come up with the craziest stuff!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I added just the right amount of Hot Sauce to this cocktail. It wasn’t so much that the drink was hard to enjoy and it wasn’t too little that you didn’t get a slight burn at the finish of each sip. I added a Caesar Spice Rim to give each sip that extra kick of heat!

November 2 – Porn Star

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Curiousity Killed the Pervert

I’m a curious person and as a curious person, I do a lot of thinking. In line with today’s shot, these are questions I have come up with for the porn industry!:

Good lord, Mrs. Sip would be Seductive Teaser… how incredibly accurate!

1) Can you do a threesome in the shower?

I just think that the risk-reward quotient and the dangers of tub slippage would prevent such scenarios. Heck, most showers don’t even fit TWO people comfortably, let alone three and you have to imagine that producers are searching for the cheapest option possible, which precludes mansions and their expansive bathing spaces.

2) Do porn stars get danger pay?

On the subject of dangerous situations, I wonder if performers receive some sort of additional pay in line with the added risks they take on a daily basis. For example, the larger the object used, the grungier the location filmed in… how about the more the merrier with each person added to a scene? The cash could add up pretty quickly if this is the case.

3) Are tramp stamps industry identification tags?

It seems like you can’t get through a single scene without seeing at least one tramp stamp… multiple lower back tattoos if you’ve picked a really good movie! Is this like how puppies and kitties get tattooed on the inside of their ear in case they go missing? Can stars be tracked for research purposes and have their stats recorded for prosperity?

4) Will their every be a porno filmed in anti-gravity?

I’m not sure how much money has to be shelled out for someone to rent out an anti-gravity simulator, but you have to think that any erotic movie filmed in a setting like this would make that money back in spades. Thinking of this scenario has got a million procedural questions circling in my mind, but perhaps I should stop while I’m ahead, as thus far, I’ve been able to write an entire post about adult films and not delve into too controversial territory.

Drink #306: Porn Star

0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.75 oz Raspberry Vodka/Liqueur
Dash of Milk
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry

I gotta say that the research for this post was probably the most fun I’ve had to do for this site. Do you have any questions you’d like me to forward to the adult industry?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This classic shot recipe had to be done at some point in this project. Most recipes don’t include the dash of Milk, but I thought that was a hilarious addition to the shooter. It was my choice to garnish the shot with a Maraschino Cherry and I’ll let your imaginations figure that one out. I can’t say a bad thing about the liquors used in this shooter and everything comes together in a nice, neat package (get it!).

November 1 – Day of the Dead Cocktail

Posted on November 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Burial Blitz

Halloween may be over, but we still have the Day of the Dead to celebrate. What better way to do so than look at interesting burial rituals from around the world! Here are some of the most bizarre:

Dining In (Papua New Guinea/Brazil)

Practiced by the Melanesians and Wari peoples, the ‘Feast of the Dead’ was used to bolster a lasting relationship between a recently deceased person and their loved ones. With the ingestion of the body, that dead person was also making one last sacrifice for the tribe, helping them get over their grief. Along these lines, the Yanomami will cremate a body first before consuming the ashes with a banana paste. Mmmm, that’s good eating!

Soul Searching (Tibet)

The Buddhist believe that the body is just a capsule for the soul to live. Therefore, when a person dies, the body no longer has any worth and is dismembered and left to be eaten by scavengers. Ground burial isn’t really a possibility in the frigid mountains of the region and so this is apparently the best way to deal with the deceased. Just think of all the condos that could be built if we no longer needed space for cemeteries.

Totem Poled (Pacific Northwest)

The Haida would take the bodies of their most respected citizens and crush it with clubs, making it fit into a box similar in size to a suitcase. It would then be placed upon a totem pole, which was to protect the individual and guide them into afterlife. Apparently this left quite the stench, though, as described by original missionaries to the areas. Bears must have also been a problem, as they searched for that ever-elusive picnic basket!

Hard Knock Life (Northern Europe)

The slave girl of a dead high-ranking Viking would be forced to have sex with every man in the village before being strangled to death and stabbed by a village matriarch. She would then be placed aboard a ship, with her master’s body and the ship would be lit on fire. This was all done to make sure the slave would serve her master in the afterlife and the Viking’s life force would be released through the mass sex (known today as rape).

Apparently you all aren’t good with grieving either!

Cliff Dive (China)

The Bo people buried their dead in caskets on platforms that jut out from the side of cliffs in southwest China’s Gongxian County. Why they did this is a mystery, as the civilization was largely wiped out by the Ming Dynasty centuries ago. Today, they are referred to as the “Sons of the Cliff” or “Subjugators of the Sky”. The cliffs also feature murals showing examples of how the Bo lived, similar to the Egyptians hieroglyphics.

Light My Fire (Bali)

This mass burning of bodies is at least followed by a feast of epic proportions, so at least you always have that to look forward to. The Hindu population of the island bury village members as they pass away in a mass grave. When there are enough bodies (I’m not sure of how many constitutes “enough”) the bodies are unearthed and placed on a float, which is showcased around the village (this ain’t no Disney parade), before being lit on fire in the hub of the settlement.

Immolation Sensation (India)

Today, we comfort a widow in the event their partner dies, but back in the day, it was a whole different story, particularly for women. In India, women were subjected to burn themselves to death during the funeral of their husband, in an act known as Sati. Of course, not all participants were willing. Some believe that the Sati was started to make sure wives wouldn’t poison or otherwise dispose of their husband to marry a lover. I hope Mrs. Sip keeps this in mind!

Drink #305: Day of the Dead Cocktail

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Reposado)
0.75 oz Grand Marnier
Splash of Orange Juice
Dash of Cinnamon
Garnish with Cinnamon-Dusted Orange Slice

Of course, there are many other burial traditions out there, but I found these to be the most interesting. Can you imagine having to take part in any of these? What burial techniques fascinate you? Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail wasn’t that bad. I like how the Cinnamon dusting kicked in at the end of each sip and added some spice and flavour to the drink. The Grand Marnier was my favourite component of the recipe and I feel the orange-flavoured liqueur works quite well with Tequila.

October 31 – Rigor Mortis

Posted on October 31, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Costume Craziness

Halloween can be a fun time of year. It’s the one day where you can be something you’re not. Good girls can go bad and the living can pretend they’re dead. Even animals can get in on the act! Here are the various costumes I’ve worn over the years:

Little Bear

While I don’t recollect this Halloween experience at age 3, I’ve consulted Ma Sip for details of my first Trick or Treat outing. Dressed as a bear (a nice little image for you furry fans out there), the Sip Advisor cried at the first house he was taken to. Then, upon realizing that a simple knock on the door resulted in candy to be giveth, Ma and Pa Sip couldn’t stop this cuddly, maniac bear from hitting every house in the neighbourhood!

Transformer

When I was a wee little sipper, I was a massive fan of the original Transformers cartoon. Pa Sip created a costume for me, so I could be Optimus Prime. Using a large cardboard box painted red and blue, I looked like the leader of the Autobots. One problem: as I showed off my awesome look at pre-school, the box was too big to allow me to sit down and I had to stand most of the day. Even worse, when I first went to hop out of our old 1984 Suburban, I ended up falling, resulting in a turtle-like stranded situation!

Optimus PINT… it could have been so easy for Pa Sip. Hindsight is 20/20!

Batman

Cue the Christian Bale voice… “I’m Batman!” Along with Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and soon-to-be Ben Affleck, I too played the role of Batman. But my Batman was more of the awesome Adam West variety. Broski Sip was my sidekick as Robin and together, we saved Gotham City from injustice, were rewarded with candy, and broke the hearts of those handing out treats at every door.

Dracula/Frankenstein

In following years, I experimented with the classic monster costumes. It was fun being all painted up to look undead. I’m not sure I ever looked very intimidating… probably more cute than anything else (no surprise there!). I think these are perfect costumes for kids, as it lets them dip their toe into the world of scary looks, without getting too spooky. I suppose nowadays zombies would be a huge hit for little ones and that just continues the legacy.

Road Dogg

When professional wrestling was one of the biggest phenomena’s in the late 90’s, most of my friends went as one of the grapplers. I went as ‘Road Dogg’ Jesse James, with Grandma Sip even knitting me a hair piece, attached to a D-Generation X hat, to capture Road Dogg’s dreadlock look. It was a pretty simple costume because other than that, all I needed was to wear track pants and my D-X t-shirt. Some didn’t get it, but those who did absolutely loved the effort.

Clark Kent/Superman

After a number of years off from Halloween, I was dragged back into the costume hunting experience by Mrs. Sip. We were thinking of doing something related to one another and when Mrs. Sip decided upon going as Supergirl, I had no other choice, but to go as Superman, despite my abhorrence of the character. Trying to steer slightly away from being ‘The Man of Steel’ I grabbed a costume that was more Clark Kent, but you could pull open the shirt and jacket to reveal the iconic Superman logo.

Couple’s costumes… what a bunch of boobs!

Dr. Howie Feltersnatch

Now going to adult Halloween parties, I was on the prowl for the perfect costume to stir up a little controversy. I settled on a gynecologist outfit and became Dr. Howie Feltersnatch. Go ahead; take a moment to appreciate the finely crafted moniker. With Sookie Stackhouse (aka Mrs. Sip) by my side – with vicious vampire bite and bottle of True Blood – we made a grand entrance… just like the focus of my medical career!

Lady Febreeze

My most recent Halloween misadventure was at Cousin Sip’s party, where guests were challenged to create their own superhero. Mrs. Sip and I came up with the characters The Boozelar (like the Hamburglar, but taking people’s drinks) and Lady Febreeze. Originally, we planned to take our normal gender roles, but decided to swap for effect. Therefore, I showed up wearing a blonde wig, glittered mask, pink bra, hula skirt, glow sticks, and chased people around all night (especially the sneaky Boozelar), squirting them with a water-filled atomizer!

Drink #304: Rigor Mortis

1.5 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Top with half Orange Juice and half Pineapple Juice
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry

What are some of your memorable costumes? Happy Halloween everyone and stay safe out there!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was good, but not as great as I hoped it would be. I didn’t get a taste of the Grey Goose Cherry Noir like I usually do in other cocktails, as it was unfortunately buried under all the other ingredients. Still, it was a relatively tasty mix.

October 30 – Corpse Reviver

Posted on October 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Clever Costumes

There are some really funny costumes out there. Somehow, I’ve narrowed a limitless number of hilarious coverings down to a few favourites. There folks should be so proud of the honour I’m about to bestow upon them!

Just think about all the action this guy would get in a night, as every girl at the party would want to be the one featured in the Facebook post. Of course, he’d have to hold that sign up most of the time, but the benefits totally outweigh the effort. This is the kind of selfie I can get behind.

Mrs. Sip loves lobster… but maybe not this much! When this kid is old enough to realize what happened to them at such a young age, do you think they’ll want justice. Perhaps they’ll be in therapy thanks to flashbacks of being stuffed in a pot and nightmares of being cooked. Good parenting!

You would have to imagine that these two boys don’t even know what Breaking Bad is, but kudos to them for going along with a costume that is clearly the brainchild of their parents. Both boys nail the look of Jesse and Walter and you hope people handing out candy would appreciate the effort.

Poor puppy doesn’t know that its owners and everyone it walks by is having a laugh at its expense. The payback will come when the dog chews up its owner stuff, slobbers throughout the house and perhaps even leaves a few ‘presents’ for its people to have to clean up. Sweet revenge!

The problem with this costume is that it doesn’t work so well when any member separates from the group. Therefore, you have to choose the group members wisely because you’ll probably be spending the entire night with them or in a nearby proximity to them.

Drink #303: Corpse Reviver

1 oz Cognac (I used Courvoisier)
0.5 oz Apple Rum
0.5 oz Sweet Vermouth
Garnish with Body Part Gummies

If you think there are better costumes out there, let me know. I’m always looking for my next Halloween outfit and have no qualms about ripping someone else off!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
There is also the more popular Corpse Reviver #2 recipe, but I wanted to give the original some air time. Today’s recipe calls for Apple Brandy, but not having any on hand, I resorted to an Apple Rum, which provided some of the required flavour, but lacked the sweetness the Brandy might have offered. That was left for the Sweet Vermouth to provide and it did so to a reasonable degree.

October 29 – Angel of Death

Posted on October 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Trick & Treat

Halloween is right around the corner and I’ve been studying up on the event. I want to make sure that every little sipper out there has a wonderful night. So, here is some info and tips on how to make that happen:

Facts about Trick-or-Treat

Drink #302: Angel of Death

1 oz Cupcake Vodka
1 oz Fluffed Marshmallow Vodka
Top with Milk
Garnish with Chocolate Shavings

I hope everyone has their candy purchased, costumes picked, and pumpkins carved. Have an amazing evening, y’all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This drink was a decent dessert option and the Chocolate Shavings were an enjoyable touch on top of the cocktail. Like the name suggests, the recipe seems angelic, but it can kill, too!

October 28 – Witch’s Brew

Posted on October 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Happy Hunting

Drawing from my years of experience as a world renowned candy hunter, I’ve come up with some great tips for all the little sippers out there that are looking forward to a wicked Halloween haul. Some of these tricks and tip may not be of the highest moral value, but they’ll fill your pillowcases quicker than a pillow (just made that up… probably needs a little tinkering)!

Tip #1: Candy Clusters

The best way to maximize your Trick or Treat time is to find areas where there are numerous doors to knock on in a tight space. Apartment and town house complexes or even neighbourhoods where houses don’t have much yard space between lots are perfect to rack up the goodies without tuckering yourself out too much.

Tip #2: Return Trips

If a house is giving out something really awesome (full-sized bars, bags with multiple candies, etc.), there is nothing wrong with returning to that residence later in the evening. Don’t pester the poor people with repeated visits, but perhaps hit the place again on a second go-round of the neighbourhood.

Tip #3: No Pack Mentality

While you want to be with your friends and share this wonderful experience, don’t get bogged down by being in too big of a group. Let’s be honest, only a few of the people you’re usually with are actually your friends. Stick to smaller groups which makes it easier to travel and get your treat at each house before moving onto the next stop.

Tip #4: Courtesy Counts

Be very thankful and energetic at each stop. You never know if your costume, behaviour or other intangible might earn you a bonus piece of candy. Also, if you drop by the home of someone you know, make sure to acknowledge them, as your relationship to them or their kin may benefit your treat haul.

Tip #5: Split Shift

It won’t be too long before you’re running out of room in your bag and are tired of lugging the heavy sack around. There’s no shame in planning a route that lets you stop off at home, dump out your candy, and hit the road again for round two. Or, if with friends, make sure one of your homes is along the route for a recharging point.

Tip #6: Home Collection

Each time you go in and out of your own house, make sure to grab a treat for yourself (and one for your imaginary friend!), courtesy of your own parents. The leftover will largely be yours anyway, so you’re just getting ahead of the game.

Tip #7: Longevity Wins

Make sure you’re up for a full night of candy hunting. At the end of the evening, some folks might be giving out more than the usual one piece in order to get through their stock and be able to shut their lights off. This is when you pounce and take advantage of the fact that you have better cardio and durability than all the others. Your training has paid off!

Drink #301: Witch’s Brew

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
Top with half Tonic Water and half Cranberry Juice
Splash of Blue Raspberry Mixer
Garnish with Berries

Anyone else out there have any suggestions for the wee little sippers who will be hitting the streets in just a few days’ time? Feel free to pass them along.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I was pleasantly surprised by this cocktail. While I’m not a big Tonic Water fan, it didn’t detract from this drink, perhaps because I covered it with the Berry garnishes and the Blue Raspberry Mixer. This is one case where I wish I had access to liquid nitrogen to create a fog effect.

October 27 – Dracula’s Kiss

Posted on October 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Long and Winding Road

Well, my little sippers, here we sit, at the precipice to 300 drinks. It is a time of remembrance, of celebration, of extreme joy! I’m so happy to share these moments with you. Let’s do a quick group hug and get on with the awards!

Most Difficult Drink

I’m not sure all you little sippers know how hard I work in my pursuit of perfection for this site. And that’s not to say you should know, or even care. All I’m stating is that the effort I put into this site rivals and often surpasses my quality of work at my real job. I love you folks that much!

Nominees: Wicked Witch of the East (tracking down of garnish and layering issues); Roasted Mellow (had to hollow out marshmallow, which couldn’t always hold the liquor long enough); Jell-O Shot (they were fun to make once I had a process down, but took a fair bit of time)

Winner: Wicked Witch of the East – First, I delayed this drink multiple times because I couldn’t track down a suitable broomstick garnish to be used as a stir stick. Then, I went ahead and made one myself and I am not an arts and crafts buff. We’re not even getting into how the layering effect didn’t work because the broomstick was frustrating enough!

Best Site Searches

It will be hard to top the last two victors: “how do I get a blow job at new york new york las vegas” and “how to use trollop in a sentence”, but I’m sure there are some game applicants out there. Sometimes I’m baffled that certain searches have led readers to this site… like these gems!

Nominees: puppies farting green air; is adrenalin responsible for making a body fly in the air when electrocuted; jimmy snuka porno; sensual woman stripper in ms santa claus costume; how to complain about a sip advisor

Winner: “how to complain about a sip advisor” – What have I done to offend this little sipper? Is there a process for complaining about me? Which board would complaints about my work (few as they may be) be delivered to? So many unanswered questions, but you can bet this member of Sip Nation will have their membership revoked.

Best Garnish

The garnish game is something I enjoy, but also find vexing at times. When I don’t have the ingredients I want/need or they aren’t behaving how I’d like them to, it can be tough. Somehow, we get the job done, night in and night out. I hope you all appreciate the results.

Nominees: Skittles, Toasted Marshmallow, Fish Candies

Winner: Fish Candies (used on Water of Life) – Thanks to Ma Sip for letting me borrow some of the fish candies she always has out for guests during the summer pool months. The trick to getting them to cooperate with this drink was to alternate between layers of ice and then a couple fish, so as to make it look like the candies were swimming.

Top Shot

I love our Super Saturday Shot Day page; a place where I can assemble the best shooters from around the world. Check it out sometime for some recipes that will turn your drinking night upside down!

Nominees: Kinky Tease, Rainbow Cookie, Bazooka Joe

Winner: Kinky Tease – I mean, come on, of course I’m going to give the nod to a shot I invented myself! I did what any good barkeep would, put together two liqueurs (Kinky and Pomegranate) that taste good on their own and figured they’d be even better united. Mission accomplished!

Best Photo

I’ve taken over the reins of photo taking and editing at the Sip Advisor headquarters, pushing Mrs. Sip out of her positions with the company. While we thank Mrs. Sip for her service in those areas, there were simply other positions I preferred to put her in… if you catch my drift! Check out our Drink Menu for complete photo listings!

Nominees: Drunk Monkey, Happy Birthday-Tini, Campfire Martini

Winner: Happy Birthday-Tini – There wasn’t a clear-cut favourite this time around, as there had been for our 200th drink awards. That said, I love how the sprinkles highlighted this delicious drink. The whole package really made my birthday cocktail a perfect celebratory piece!

Best Drink

As usual, we finish the evening with our top award, Best Drink. Previous winners have included the PAMA-Jama and Raspberry Mojito. Like the Oscars, we have expanded our nominees for this award so they can all claim that they were Sippy-nominated!

Nominees: Happy Birthday-Tini, Village Idiot, Wonderful Night, Old Fashioned, Undercover Squirrel

Winner: Wonderful Night – I had to go with this cocktail because of how all the ingredients (there’s six of them) came together to surprise the pallet with notes of everything from peppermint to vanilla to citrus. Each sip was a new adventure!

Drink #300: Dracula’s Kiss

Rim glass with Grenadine
1.5 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
Top with Cola
Splash of Grenadine
Garnish with Garlic Clove

This may very well be the last awards ceremony of this project, but fear not, my little sippers, I have big plans in store for 2014 and beyond!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve wanted to try the Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka with Cola for some time and this was finally my chance. They work pretty well together. I thought the Garlic garnish was a clever little touch! My only disappointment with the drink was how the Grenadine Rim looked good in actuality, but didn’t really translate to photo form.

October 26 – Bazooka Joe

Posted on October 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tales from the Candy-keeper

There are numerous urban legends based on candy. Here are some of the juicier tales out there:

Recharge on Mars

Rockers sure know how to party. That’s why this legend involving Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, singer Marianne Faithfull, and a Mars chocolate bar persisted for so long. When a party at guitarist Keith Richards’ home was broken up by police, rumours began flying that Jagger was interrupted while eating a Mars bar that was inside Ms. Faithfull (I’ll let your imaginations put that one together). The story was entirely untrue, but I bet Mars bar sales skyrocketed, with deprived lovers looking to spice up their sex life!

You’re right, Mick! It is a pretty funny story!

Pop Rock N’ Roll

As the story goes, if you mix Pop Rocks with Cola, this diabolic concoction would cause you to explode. The legend was enhanced when people claimed that Mikey, the Life Cereal ad campaign kid (you know, “Hey, Mikey likes it!”) was an original victim of the blast. A similar tale has recently surrounded Mentos and Cola, because the two products do combine to create fizz and can launch a bottle into orbit. The cute Pepsi girl of the 90’s was said to be a casualty. In both cases, no one has actually died from ingesting the two items together.

Hole-in-One

Creator Clarence Crane was said to have designed Life Savers with a hold in the middle after his daughter tragically died choking on a candy. The hole was to allow oxygen to pass through a person’s body, even if stuck in one’s throat. The reality, however, is quite a bit different. Crane fashioned his new invention after the floatable inner tubes that were becoming all the rage following the Titanic disaster in 1912.

All Wrapped Up

Legend had it, that if you found an image of Indian, complete with bow and arrow, on your Tootsie Roll or Pop wrapper, you would be the recipient of any number of prizes, ranging from Tootsie treats for life to a new bicycle to unimaginable wealth and celebrity (I added that last one myself!). I would have loved to have found that Indian, as I very much enjoy the Tootsie products. Sadly, the story is completely fabricated.

Jaw Dropper

It’s hard to believe this one is actually true, but it has been verified by the fine folks at MythBusters. If you place one of those massive jawbreakers in the microwave it will explode. Why someone would ever put a jawbreaker into the microwave is a yet-to-be answered question, but here’s my theory: why not. Those jawbreakers are a pain in the ass (or more aptly, mouth) to get through and perhaps someone tried to accelerate the process.

Spider Yum

When Bubble Yum gum hit the market and became quite popular, stories began to circulate that the gum contained such grossities as spider eggs, spider legs, or spider webbing. These were all probably started by a rival gum company in hopes of curtailing the popularity of the world’s first soft gum. Bubble Yum’s parent company fought these rumours publicly with full-page newspaper ads ensuring people of the quality of their product. Most people actually listened and Bubble Yum lived on.

Razor’s Edge

Remember when we were all wee little sippers and when we returned home our parents sifted through our well-earned Halloween stash (probably contemplating which treats they’d take for themselves) to make sure there was no evidence of tampering? Good thing they did. In 2000, James Joseph Smith stuck needles into Snickers bars he planned to hand out and one boy bit into the chocolate bar. Smith was arrested and charged with adulterating a substance with the intent to cause harm… asshole!

Pick Your Poison

Similarly, the threat of poisoned candy given out at Halloween has always existed, but the only evidence of this occurring happened when some sick bastards poisoned their own children, including one loser who laced his kid’s Pixy Stix with cyanide to collect a $20,000 life insurance policy. Most cases were just overeating by the public (no surprise there) and not waiting to hear the actual results of why someone became sick.

Drink #299: Bazooka Joe

Rim glass with Bubble Gum
0.5 oz Irish Crème
0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
0.5 oz Blue Curacao

Are there any candy urban legends you’d like to pass my way? I’m a skeptical one, but I’ll give it a chance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this shooter and always have. Truth be known, when I was taken out on my 19th birthday for my first legal drinks, this was the first shot that was ever ordered for me. I still marvel at how these three ingredients combine to fake the taste of bubble gum, but somehow it all comes together.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Author Archives: Daniel Wilson